Joe Rogan - The Everglades are a Redneck Jurassic Park

that we're worried about ecosystems that we really are. That's why humans, that's why we're worried about invasive species on when new species get introduced to new ecosystems. It's like we were just talking about this yesterday, Everglades. Like people are doing whatever the fuck they can to get the pythons, the Everglades. They these assholes of released pythons and there's a real fucking redneck Jurassic Park going on in the middle of Florida. Yeah. You know, we care. I lived in Miami, man. And at the time I lived in Miami, talk about like... You did radio out there, right? Yeah. Y100 in Miami. That was after Fear Factor. After Fear Factor. It landed me that big gig after I was on Fear Factor. Well, radio was radio back then though. Oh, yeah. It was real. It was like huge, man. But I remember they had these lakes. And if you go back like 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators. Yeah. Like just alligators did not give a damn. They did get you. They were just snatching people. Yeah. And I was like, why are people jogging? Like literally I like stopped jogging. Well, definitely don't jog near the water. No. And that's the thing. I believe like eight people within six months got snatched. Just jogging my name. Is that real? Oh, 100%. Probably about eight to 10 years ago. Just jogging. I didn't know that there was that many deaths ever from alligators. Oh, yeah. They were getting snatched. One of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near Miami. And he was in a stolen car, parked his car on a bridge, jumped off the bridge and landed on an alligator. Alligator jacked him in front of the cops. And they were just sitting there going, well, there you go. Guilty. Imagine the dude jumps off the bridge, splash. That would be this. Look at this. Oh, my God. Dude. Oh, that guy didn't even notice until the last minute. No, that's what I'm saying. Like that happens in Florida at that time. That is so crazy. That is such a big thing that eats deer and shit. Look at it. It opens its mouth on them. But meanwhile, it tries to get away from people. Well, what's interesting, the dude didn't even speed up. Yeah. Like I would have smoked off. Probably really tired. He was running for a while. Dude, fuck these things, man. Fuck these things. But the craziest thing is, we were showing it yesterday, that pythons eat them. Alligators? Whole. But not that size, though. Dude, one python ate this fucking big ass alligator and it blew its body apart. Apparently, another alligator came along while it had it in its body and tried to eat the python. And so then it was like this disaster of a python with an alligator inside of it with no head. Oh, man. But the whole thing was that this python had ate the alligator and then once they eat it, they can't move because they got a fucking 900 pound alligator inside of them. But you love that shit. I get a kick out of it. I know you do. You do. I have a problem with them. I just- You love animals eating other animals. I think it's important to recognize that we're very insulated from what the fuck is going on by cities. Yes. And that in houses and cities and even towns, even if you have a town, it's rare that a fucking wild predator makes its way into your town. But man, that's the whole rest of the world. That's the whole world, including the ocean. Everywhere is all just predators and prey, predators and prey, predators and prey. We figured out a way to insulate, but in insulation, the problem is when we're isolated from it, we neglect it as an aspect of nature. We put it in some weird box like, oh my God, this is weird. No, that's not weird. That's normal. That's normal life. Normal life is big things eating little things. And you don't respect it. Got it. You really don't respect it when you don't see it. Like my parents want to go to Africa on a safari. I'm like, man, you can have that. Yeah, I would go if I got one of them like Jurassic Park mobiles that they have with the tall circle. You roll around the circle. You see these people are just in regular Jeeps with open air Jeeps where lions just walk about. Like how dumb are you? And most of the time nothing happens. No, most of it. But it could be one or two times where if you're in it, you know, like a woman who worked on Game of Thrones, she was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car. She rolled down the window to take a picture and the cat came and snatched her out of the car. But don't you think people kind of like that deserve it? Like people that roll down windows and not safer. Like that's like people jumping in the pit at the zoo the other day. Well, that's the roll down the windows thing. I think is really just it's what we're talking about that you're not around it enough. So you don't understand what it is. But do you have to be around it to know, hey, these are wild animals and they can get away with shit. They've never had anything happen to them. Like they've never been punched. Oh, this is this is a cheetah cheetahs are actually not there. They're actually very curious and they're not dangerous to people. So this dude has no idea this thing is in his backseat. No, he's filming it. Oh, he's filming it. So he's not moving. Is the rule don't move? I think so, man. I think the move is don't move. You don't want to scare him. You definitely don't want to go. You don't want to do that and have a fucking rip your face off. They don't have claws. They don't have claws like a cat does. They're more like a dog. Yeah, you know, they're a weird animal. They're like a weird cat dog thing. You know, they're super, super fast. Like I've never seen one run in real life, but apparently people who I know that have seen it say you can't believe how fast it is. You know, one thing that blew me away. I was reading about it that hippopotamuses kill more people a year than all the animals combined. All of them. All of them. Yeah, all of them. And it's just like people just like don't respect hippopotamuses and they're fast and they're strong and they'll rip you apart. They're like a giant pig. Yeah, they're in the pig family. It's like a cousin to a pig or some shit. Yeah, and they're vegetarians. Yeah, like they're just killing people. Estimated 500 people per year in Africa. They kill 500 people a year. They're aggressive and they have very sharp teeth. And not only that, man, people think there's 750 kilograms. What? What is that? Dude, people. What's that in pounds? That's more than 5000 pounds. Yeah, 2.2 times that. So yeah. Oh my God. That's that's well, people don't respect it because they think they're slow too. So when they see them, I think they run like 24 or 25 miles per hour where like a 100 a person that runs 100 yard dash in the Olympics. I think average around like 29 to 30 miles per hour. So you're barely getting away. This hippo's Oh, 19 mile. Okay, so that's still fast. Yeah, you're barely getting away. Well, that's me. I probably can't run 19 miles an hour. No, I couldn't. I'll probably get eaten. Fuck. Can you imagine you're like 20 yards away from this thing? You're like, ah, it's not gonna. And then it just runs up on you. Well, they say if you ever get chased by an alligator to the thing is to juke them. Go left and go right. Yeah, that picture is terrifying. Oh my God. Scares the shit out of me. That scares the shit out of me. I mean, look at that guy's. He's launching himself in the air trying to get away from that thing. Not look at that. Yeah, they chase after boats in the water. They swim fast. Yeah, they try to fuck you up, man. They try to fuck you 500 people a year, dude. Hippo. Husband sees hippo bite out wife's heart. What? Oh my God. Oh my God. Imagine your wife falls into the water and you see the hippo rip open a rib cage. I would be a hippo punisher. I would go back to Africa every year. And kill every one of them. Every one of them. I'd be responsible for hippo extinction. They'd be like, you can't do that. I'm like, but I'm gonna. Don't stop me. Don't. I'm killing all the hippos. Why not? I'm killing all the snakes. If everybody, anyone knew got killed the first day that something gets killed by a fucking Python in Florida. When a human gets jacked, we should send in the Marines. Just go through the fucking swamp and kill them all. Just like they're the enemy. You just get a giant line of human beings go through and kill those fucking serpents. They're in the Bible. Okay. They're in the Bible. Snakes will eat your baby. They will. You go through. You kill them all. I mean, are they get cocky with monsters living in your fucking neighborhood? Is there any purpose of them though? Yeah, they kill rats. But the problem is in that area, it's not established for them. So there was this rich ecosystem of mammals and reptiles. So you're talking about Everglades right now. Yeah. Okay. It used to be there was some snakes like cotton and else and stuff like that. And there was alligators, but then there was like marsh hairs and raccoons and skunks. Gone. They're all gone. This is, they're gone. There's nothing left. There's just anacondas, look at that. Pythons and Nile crocodiles. Now, if this guy, let me, let me ask you something. And be honest with me. If, if that guy got eaten like a guy that actually tracks these reptiles, do you feel sorry for like if you put in yourself in harm's way? Yeah, because I want that guy to be out there. I want that guy to kill those goddamn monsters. If you ever look into an eye of a snake and you go, oh, this thing doesn't give a fuck about anybody. It doesn't. I was watching this video of a crab and it's a crab, a mother crab, just sitting there eating its babies. It had like thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched like a couple of weeks ago. And it's just sitting there eating its babies. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. You're going in the boiling water and I'm going to crack you open. Have you ever heard them scream when they go in a bowl? Scream? Oh yeah. I don't think they're really screaming. I think it's probably air escaping their body. Look at this cunt. Eat their kids. Look at her. She's eating her kids. This is crazy. I was at a friend's house and they caught crabs and they would throw them in. I think they screamed, man. I think it's like, no, I really didn't have vocal cords. No, no. What is the name of this video, Jamie, for people that are just listening? It says, monster red crab eats babies, the dark side of nature. Yeah. She's an asshole. I'm telling you, Joe. They scream. They make a noise when you put them in a hot boiling pot of water. What is the bottom of her? She's got a charcoal briquette stuck under her. Doesn't that look like one of them? That's where the babies go. That's where they all came from. They came from that sack. She eats them and they come right back out. That is so gross. She's such an asshole. She's just sitting there eating her kids. You're like, that anybody would give a fuck about crabs. It's not like I want them to go extinct, but that's one animal that we in our house kill ourselves and no one has a problem with it. If they brought them a rabbit and you got to throw it in the water, like fatal attraction, that was the only way to keep... Nobody would eat rabbits. No, no, no, no. And we throw them in like a lie. A lie. A lie. I'm telling you, they're in the water. Most people don't even bother taking off the rubber band. And lobsters. Yeah. And lobsters. We do not give a shit about lobsters. Oh, you get in there. Fuck you. Get in there. Get in there, you fucking bug. You see that?