Joe Rogan Shares Crocodile Stories

That's a crazy place. Costa Rica is wild, man. Crocodiles and shit. That was another interesting place to visit. The crocodiles are a trip, man, because we were in a boat and we went on this tour of this river system. You go on a tour of the river system and I'm watching this fucking 15 foot crocodile slide into the water from the bank. I'm like, fuck. You see the crocodile slides all over the banks because these rivers are just filled with crocodiles. And so anytime my kid would come anywhere close to the railing of the boat, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, let's stay over here. Let's stay in the middle. Yeah. The fuck away from the monsters. I met this dude a long time ago. I don't remember where he was, but we were sitting around a fire talking about like bizarre experiences we'd had traveling, whatever. He was from, I think, New Hampshire and he had a thing, like you and Marshall go running every morning. He had a thing where he and his dog would go down to the lake and take a swim every day at dusk. When he got home from work, he'd take the dog for a swim. It was a black lab, I think. And he went to visit his brother in Florida and he drove down there and his brother was out and when he arrived and it was around dusk and he's like, ah, let's go for a swim. There's a lake and he jumps in the water with his dog and they're swimming across the lake and he hears it. Right. And he hears this plop plop. And he's like, well, what was that? That's a weird sound. And then he realizes I'm in fucking Florida. I'm not in New Hampshire. There are alligators here. What the fuck am I doing? So he turns around and starts swimming back and he's swimming along trying not to panic and the fucking dog goes, dog's gone. Fucking alligator came, or croc came up and took his dog. Never saw the dog again. What? It could have been him too. Yeah. One of my favorite alligator stories from Florida is there was a high speed chase, guy had a stolen car and he gets to a bridge. Cops are chasing him. Guy jumps out of the car, jumps off the bridge, gets eaten immediately by an alligator. Literally landed in front of the alligator. And the alligator just snapped. Lucky day. Snapped. They don't eat people that often, but they definitely will. Yeah, Africa they do. Well, crocodiles. Crocs, yeah. Alligators are less aggressive than crocodiles and there are crocodiles in Florida, but they're much less frequent. What's the difference? American alligators are smaller animal. They have a longer, pointier snout and they have more exposed teeth. An alligator has a blunt, more rounded face and they get much larger than American crocodiles. American crocodiles are pretty small. American alligators get pretty fucking big. So in Africa, do they have crocs and alligators? No, Africa is just crocodiles. Just crocs, okay. They have much, much, much more aggressive crocodiles too. They have Nile crocodiles. Right. You see them take those water buffalo and stuff. Yes, it's terrifying. Saltwater crocodiles. I thought I'd seen video of what you said, so I Googled it. Four different times, at least in the last couple of years, this has happened. One guy lost his arm, two people died. The Florida thing? Getting chased by the cops and ended up getting eaten by an alligator. It's not just one time it's happened. That's fucking Florida, man. Florida, man. Florida is so wacky. That is the place where all the refuges and the outcasts, they all go to Florida, man. Yeah. Yeah, more than once. I'm sure. It makes sense. You jump in the water, man. You're risking it. Just because alligators don't eat people as often as crocodiles do in Africa, it doesn't mean that they wouldn't. They don't have a rule book. Right. Like, oh, that's a person. Shouldn't eat them. They don't give a fuck if you're a dog or a person or a kid. There was an alligator ate a baby at Disney World. Oh, I remember that. Yeah, like three years ago. Yeah. Yeah, a fucking two-year-old baby playing by the water. Alligators slides up on the bank, snatch, pulls it right under. Oh, man. Fuck. That's a bad day. Fuck those things. When I lived in Florida, when I was a kid, we lived in Gainesville, and there was alligators everywhere. And I remember one of them snatched some lady's dog, and I was like, Jesus Christ, I didn't know they killed people's dogs. Because you would see them floating around, and they seemed so innocuous. Because they were almost always still. Yeah. They barely moved. There were signs. They didn't want you to feed them marshmallows. People would throw marshmallows, and the alligators would eat marshmallows. And they just don't want you to... They don't have to just... Because they float. The marshmallows float, I guess. Yeah. And they would just chew them up and swallow them, so people would throw marshmallows at the alligators just to see it. And that was back when alligators were endangered. This was in the late 70s, and they're not endangered anymore. In fact, you could kill as many of... You can get a commercial hunting tag for 500 alligators. I watched that on that Swamp People show. Never seen it. This is a show about alligator killers. They're just killing alligators, because it's commercial market. Do you know the last Indians, to be pacified, I hate that phrase, in the United States, the last tribe to finally give up was the Seminole in the Everglades. Yeah. After the Apaches and the Sioux and all that. Yeah, because man, that would be a weird life. Yeah. So you live in the Everglades? Well, the Everglades are another thing that human beings ruined because of white trash people in Florida, because of releasing pythons. There's literally nothing left alive in the Everglades. All the deer are missing. All the raccoons are missing. All the marsh hairs gone. Everything's missing. Scientists and biologists have done these surveys of wildlife. The difference between 1980 and 2019 is so unbelievably stark. It's so crazy. It's all those fucking dorks that want to keep pets. Then they release them. They release them out there in the wild.