12 views
•
4 years ago
0
0
Share
Save
43 appearances
Recorded on: September 11, 2024Tom Segura is a stand-up comic, actor, podcaster, and author. He co-hosts two podcasts, "Your Mom's House," with his wife, comic Christina Pazsitsky, and "Two Bears, One Cave," and is the author of "I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays." www.ymhstudios.com
1.1K views
•
4 years ago
28 views
•
4 years ago
211 views
•
4 years ago
Show all
You ever seen a wolverine chase off wolves? Wolverines are a little It's like a 35 pound animal Everything gets the fuck away from it like Jesus because they're so ferocious They're so crazy and they they feel like no pain. Yeah, like things can bite them and like They'll chase wolves. They'll chase bears. What's the news with Connor? By the way, is he throwing out that he wants to fight someone? He wants to fight Khabib Khabib, but he's they're trying to set up look we are What's if this in the future? This is March 24th on Tuesday and everyone's on fucking full lockdown here They're talking about doing a UFC. They don't know where it's gonna be for Khabib versus Tony Ferguson. They're talking about doing that somewhere Somewhere in another country, you know, I told Danish do it on a battleship Just doing a battleship in international waters fly everybody in a helicopter fucking cool idea And there's no organization like the UFC that could pull that off Yeah, you can't do that with like any other sport. No because you don't need many very many people you just need the fighters Yeah I mean, I don't even know if they're gonna have an undercard and but the more like the crazier the setting Yeah for a fight the more excited could be like and there'll be lions roaming and yeah I would imagine one of those Sheik's that has you know a trillion dollars does they do it in my palace? The palace you said octagon in a giant ballroom, dude If you guys called sheik's and and like do you want like they would start fighting? This is no problem Yeah, this is no problem at all. This is come on. Yeah, they'll fucking sanitize the shit out a couple jets fly everybody in sanitize the runway just crates of Lysol Absolutely crop just your plane spraying Lysol over everything. It would be They would do it right actually. I'm sure they have so much money. Yeah, I mean they could do it, right? They could test everyone. Well, what do you do if someone has like is there asymptomatic? They want to fight anyway And but they test positive You gotta go beep you gotta go. What if it's Tony? They test positive, but they're asymptomatic too much of it resting heart rates low. Everything's fine too much of a good to go You're shedding it man. You're shedding it as you walk around after he's over. We just cover him in a big plastic suit I guess if the other fighter was like I'm cool with it Probably cool with it too. Yeah, sure. Yeah, send location bring medicine