Joe Rogan on Celebrities Going Off the Rails

Hello freak bitches. Just take this and I'm doing that and I don't know how they do it but they figured out how to splice things and change things and selectively breed certain plants and they came up with different strains. That's why corn looks the way it looks. Old school corn was like the size of a hobo's dick and it was all naughty and fucked up looking. It was like four inches long so it was a little tiny thing. Did it taste the same? No. I mean it's a hobo's dick? Hobo's dick's weird man. They're so variable. We never know what you're getting. It could be a recent hobo. It could be like that guy who punched you. Old school snot blowing veteran. His dick tastes like battery acid. It's a dick that's been through the Pacific Southwest. If a guy's just doing math all day and he comes in your mouth, what do you think that tastes like? Because if they say that a guy drinks orange juice, his cum tastes better. Have you heard that? Whenever I heard that I was like how many dicks do you have to suck before you figure that out? You'd get away from me. What? Were you a fucking scientist? He's sucking dick with a lab coat on, taking notes. Asparagus. Not recommended. Swishing it around in your mouth like you're a wine connoisseur. That's something you always hear. Bold. Right? If a guy eats pineapples, his cum tastes better. But conversely, if you're just doing nothing but smoking meth, your loads have to taste like hot death. Yeah. And it's fucking lumpy. Pesticide. Loads taste like Roundup. It's not good when you have to chew it. It's not much either. It's like a fucking Hershey's kiss. Swallow it. I hit it shit first. I hit it shit first. Oh motherfucker. Fuck. Then she's immediately tripping on meth. She's out of her mind. Do you remember when that actor, the fuck is his name? Tom Sizemore. Yeah. And when Tom Sizemore went off the rails and did a porn. Yeah. And they would play his thing on Opie and Anthony all the time. Because when he was coming, he was like, oh motherfucker. Just a cracked out load. There's nothing like the sound of a man orgasm where he knows he's just off the rails. Yeah. Because off the rails, on meth, making a porn. He was in Saving Private Ryan. Here he is. That's as primal as it gets. It's like the pure it being expressed. Yeah. Look at him. Just fuck it. Can you play it? No. It's illegal. Can't even show you this. Oh, it's illegal for you to play the audio? Can't show this. He was a madman. He was a madman. Wait, how do you decide which clips you're allowed to play? There's a tit on that. So I guess you can't play that. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get off the screen. Get off the screen. I met him a long time ago. I did a show on VH1 called The List. Yeah, I remember that. The host of it. I got to play. You were the host of The List? I was, I hope, one of the weeks. Oh, yeah. They rotated most. They rotated people. So I think I did two, maybe three episodes. But one of them was I got to meet Rob Halford. I got to meet Rick James. Rick James was a Michael didn't do nothing to them kids. We were talking about it and one of the gals from Baywatch was on the show as well. She was a mom. God, I can't remember her name. Very, very pretty girl. I forgot her name. Married to Nikki Six? No, I don't think so. I don't remember which one she was. Anyway, very nice girl. Gina, something or another? Anyway, she was, it came up in some way, shape or form. And she was like, I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Michael didn't do nothing to them kids. Michael didn't do nothing to them kids. And that's all bullshit. I'm going to tell you something. That's all bullshit. And Rick James had been partying all night. So when he showed up, like we were warned that he might not be able to do it. Like he got there and you could tell he'd just been up. You know, he's like, I'm suffering from some sort of a cold. So if I can't do this, I can't do this. And we were like, hey, man, do what you can do. Do what you can do. But he went out there and plowed through like a trooper. Yeah. But he was defending Michael Jackson. Michael didn't do nothing. But Michael, what's his face? Tom Sizemore came on and he had fucking slippers on. He had like slippers and a fucking bathrobe. I don't remember what he wore when he sat down, but I remember he showed up with slippers and a bathrobe. I'm like, wow. He was just right when he was just going off the rails. Yeah. Right when he was going, it was supposed to be him and Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer was out partying all night and then he was with him and he's just like, Val Kilmer was like, fuck it. I'm not going. So like last night. Val Kilmer was going to do the list? Yes. Val Kilmer was off the rails. Don't you remember when Val Kilmer got huge fat and went crazy? Oh, that's right. He did a play. Remember he did a play for a while and he was like, what the fuck is Val Kilmer doing? Partying. Yeah. He was just going off. He was just having fun. And it was during that time that Sizemore showed up. He was a very nice guy. Yeah. Super nice guy. Math, huh? I don't know what he was doing. He was doing a bunch of shit, but then he wound up on Celebrity Rehab. Remember? Oh, okay. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Several seasons. Was he? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. He was on with Heidi Fleiss. Heidi Fleiss was like his girlfriend. Yeah. That fucking Celebrity Rehab show, could you imagine if you try to do that today? Oh, they don't do it anymore? No. You're exploiting people. It's the worst time you could ever have someone in front of cameras when they're their most vulnerable. Yeah. They're recovering from addiction. Do you don't think that that's an impediment to recovery? Putting them on camera? Following cameras around them while they're trying to detox and figure their fucking life out? And you're giving them massive amounts of attention. You're putting them on shooting schedules. You got lav mics on them and shit. And they start having affairs. You encourage it when you're supposed to discourage it? It is crazy. It's everything that AA is not. It's the opposite of anonymous. Do you ever hear Doug Stanhope's bid on it? No. Doug Stanhope tortured Dr. Drew. Oh, really? Tortured him. And he's 100% right. Yeah. Like, look, they allowed that show to happen. Dr. Drew figured, like, look, I'm a competent doctor. I'll take care of it. I'll make sure everything's fine. And at least it'll expose – like, you can rationalize it. It'll expose to people what it's like to, you know, go through this. And you see celebrities and movie stars going through this. But a lot of it wasn't celebrities and movie stars. It was like sort of celebrities, like Angie Dickinson, where there's some guy on the show, some young guy who was in the same – So that's the Salinas brother. Oh, was he on? I think so. I shouldn't say that. I don't know what that's true. I don't know what that's true. Was he? And he was on for pot. It was hilarious. Oh, God. Really? Everybody else is all fucked up. This dude's – he's got a newspaper out. He's drinking coffee. Good morning. They're all gonna shake. They're all shitting themselves, sweating through the night. He's like going through zero withdrawals. He's literally reading the times over a cup of coffee with his feet up on the beach. They're in, like, Malibu somewhere in some serene environment. Right. Thanks for watching.