"Fuck Island" with Greg Fitzsimmons - The Joe Rogan Experience

Hello freak bitches. But it's also, I think the money is spread out through these royal families and none of the money goes to the Saudis, the citizens. The people. No, they don't get any of it. There's these royal families that have fucking hundreds of members and the money all gets filtered throughout the family. Crazy. And they each have nine kids. What's crazy is that that didn't used to be the case until like what, the 50s or 60s, like whenever they establish these empires. Is that right? That kind of money. They weren't getting oil out of there. Once they started getting oil out of there, they just, like you ever seen the growth of Dubai over the past 30 years? Oh yeah. Like a time lapse images of the growth of the islands. Islands pop up and the sand bars. They make islands. They make their own islands and they have an ocean break to stop the islands from getting swamped. But one of the major, there's a huge high rise on one of the islands. It just sank like five feet into the fucking sand. Oh my God. Oh my God. They built a high rise on sand. Oh my God. Yeah. They just keep sinking. It's going to go leaning tower piece of style. That's right. What do they do? Demolish it? You know, they bring girls from the US over there. Hala from Russia. They say you want it from Russia, but I hear stories about US girls too. Go over there to get that paper. They think they're going to go get a little, uh, paper. Get a date one guy. You're going to date a whole family. Well you ever heard with assault number nine, how he used to rock it? No. He used to have a disco in his house and he would pay these girls extraordinary amounts of money, stay there for months at a time. He'd have like 50 of them there and he would just come down and go, you let's do it. And he would just come down the disco and just fucking slide down the railing and his gold underwear and just start dancing. Wow. And just pick one and throw the dick to her and then go, I'll see you in a week or so. And then they would just stick around and do whatever they had to do. They'd go to the gym, work out, get their toes done and he'd pick a new one all the time. Wow. He just had so much money. He just, one prostitute was like, ee, that's not good enough. I want girls who are not prostitutes to become prostitutes. Yeah. So he just went deep. What about Melania Trump? How dare you? That's the first lady, son of a bitch. It's equal pay day, bro. She's going to have equal pay when she divorces him. She's waiting to divorce that motherfucker. You know that. Oh, she doesn't even want to live with him. She doesn't want to live with him. She's like, listen, our son, he's only 10, can't kick him out of the school. He's got to stay in the school. Ten-year-olds can't move. No, they can't move. They can't move to Washington to be near a dad who grabs women's pussies or... And admits it. Or who's the president. Someone said something really funny. I forget who it was. They said, is that the first lady or is that a flight attendant on the first flight to Mars? Yeah, she's living with a lot of mixed feelings right now. She's just looking at a ring. Look at that fucking ring. Good lord. She grew up in a fucking mud town in Eastern Europe. Dude, that ring is insane. That ring is like, how much is that ring worth? Let's take a guess, because I'm sure it's on the internet. I would say her ring is worth $5 million. I'm going with $20. Really? $20 million. Find out. Find out, young Jamie. I got bold as fuck right there. I hope you notice that. $20 million? Alyssa Milano calls out. What is she calling out? Milania Trump's giant diamond rings in official portrait. Why is she calling out the rings? What? Come on, Alyssa. What'd she get mad at? Some blood diamonds. Is that what it is? 25 carat, $3 million ring. Damn, I'm so wrong. What did you pick? I said five. It's 25 carat. 25 carat. So what is Milana? What's her problem? It's two ballers. She can't handle it. I heard Milania met Donald on Fuck Island, which is one of these islands. Is it real? Yeah, they bring Eastern European women there, and then billionaires show up, and they all just fuck. We got to get richer, dude. You want to go to Fuck Island? We got to get an invite. If it all goes sour, we're going to block Fuck Island. If it all goes wrong, your wife leaves you, mine leaves me. We're like, look, dude, I'm not getting any younger. Listen, who cares what everybody says? Go to Fuck Island. Then we start going, and after a while it's just like, dude, what are you doing Tuesday? Want to go to Fuck Island? All right, he'll go to Fuck Island. Dude, we'd be barbacks on Fuck Island. Yes. I was hoping that we'd be able to look, all we have to do is we work there, we get a job there. I'll carry the ice, you carry the beer. Come on, dude, we're definitely going to- You and me on Fuck Island drinking Miller Lite on the beach going, we got to get out of here. They took our passports though. Fuck. But we'd be laying down the real dick, because these billionaires can't fuck, and these women would be getting horny after a while. Think so? These billionaires are on Viagra and meth, and they're just slamming it in. They probably have helmets on, like exoskeletons, and make them fuck harder. Some sort of an artificial spine that connects at the shoulders like a football outfit. And you're like, yeah! And you hear the hydraulics, boom, boom, boom, boom. While they're just slamming in. This Viagra meth-fueled dick. They get a doctor that's right there taking vitals at all times. They just have enough Viagra, so their veins pump up so fat and thick that they almost black out. It's like a fine line. You got to get them to right to the edge where they're seeing like those- you ever get punched and you see stars? They see those stars while they're fucking. They're almost going out. That's what they're doing. And then when they come, they just throw an oxygen mask on them and rub their feet. When they come, they throw the girl right off the yacht. You're spent. She's like a spent cartridge. And they have like floaties on. The girls wear floaties. Because they know it's coming. They swim to shore. They collect their check. They get on a plane. They don't say shit. They don't say shit. They throw it in the water. It's just a bidet. Clean out the undercarriage and send her home. All of a sudden homegirls got a Jaguar convertible. Where'd you get that Jaguar? I think it's darker than that. I don't think you leave Fuck Island. You just stay? I think as the guy is fucking blasting his last dribble inside of you, you feel a cold barrel of a handgun on the back of your head. Jesus. They just bury you on Fuck Island? That's it. I guess if there's certain countries, obviously, North Korea, right? That guy's killing people left and right. You can get away with killing people in certain countries like 100%. Like he killed his half brother. He killed- I'm sorry, Kim Jong Un. He hired someone to do that. Apparently, they didn't know they were doing it. Apparently, they were doing a prank. They thought they were doing a prank and they squirted him with something. It turned out to be some neurotoxin that fucking zapped him and killed him. He killed some guy who was a general because he thought that it was like his uncle that he thought was trying to use- Yeah, I remember that. Right. He killed his kids too because he didn't want his sons taking revenge. He killed his sons. Wow, that's hard. That's going on right now. If that's going on, someone could shoot some crazy corrosion chick on Fuck Island. Oh yeah. Someone should do a documentary on Fuck Island. Now that's allegedly, by the way, just in case the president is listening. I bet he didn't. He's an outstanding man. How do you think he met her? Perfect grooming. He met her on a J-Date. She swiped right. Is it right or left? Right. She swiped right. He swiped right. Party began. He's up at a Starbucks for a coffee date first. Keep it safe. Oh see, she's upset of the Kim Jong Un.