Joe Rogan on Working Summer Jobs

Hello freak bitches And it's 4 30 in the morning you should never be up at 4 30 still trying to get laid That's what happens you start doing the coke and all sudden you went to a bar that close you went to another bar You're fucking throwing down cash You haven't even gotten laid yet And you're still chick then she wants to go to Denny's and then you got to go hang out at her house And she wants to do more coke and then also at 4 30 in the morning It's not you don't even give a fuck anymore. It's like It's gotta happen in the first two hours You know was a horrible one for me in the summer when this would happen and I had jobs So it'd be like 4 30 in the morning Yeah, and I'd be still trying to get laid and then I had to be up at 7 to go to my construction job So you'd be carrying wood all day Exhausted you didn't shower so you get that oily fucking stank and you're under carriage Your ball sack is sticking to your thigh. I'd come home and fall asleep before I even got my clothes off I just hit the fucking bed Sideways out cold yeah wake up in the morning do it all over again. Oh, yeah I used to park cars at a country club and We would go out all we would get paid in cash tips. We'd make a good 150 bucks in cash I was 16 17 years old we go out to the bars do shots all night get laid We'd go skinny dipping There was a pool that we'd break into and it was a bunch of teenagers that would all skinny dip on Any given night in the summer if it was hot out you go to that pool. There was naked teenagers Swimming and you could get laid pretty easily And then we would go and then we'd have to be there at 6 o'clock in the morning to park cars because the golfers Came in and we get there and we had this little wooden shack And we'd run up and down the stairs parking these cars It was down a hill so you'd have to drive it down the hill run up drive it down the hill for hours And then finally they'd all be out on the golf course Kick back in that shack and just fucking lay on the wooden floor and sleep for a couple hours. Oh Working when you're tired and your kid is so important Yeah, so important to realize how to power through things you don't power through shit when you're a little kid They make you take naps. It's quite the opposite of power and through Yeah, like are you tired look Greg just take a nap you need to take a nap I don't want to do the nap go take a nap. It's taking up at school remember that you just have nap time Yeah, then you take a nap when you got on then all of a sudden no more naps All sudden you have to work like it happens over the course of like a couple of years. Yeah, now you gotta get up at six Those summer jobs. Those are the big eye-opener for me. That's when I knew that's when I fucking really knew I could never work construction That's when I really knew like summer jobs when I was in high school and right out of high school It's like fuck this yeah, cuz I know it's true You should bust you should make your kid bust his ass in high school so he can realize He needs an education or he needs to pick something to do young you got to pick something to do different cuz I had other Jobs that weren't as hard like I worked at Newport Creamery. I was a dishwasher, and then I was a cook Wasn't that hard I mean it sucked wasn't fun be cook burgers make ice cream like Sundays and shit milkshakes And before that I was the guy wash the dishes. I moved up nice on up, bro I didn't want to take the waitress job though too much responsibility to be a waiter or a waitress Lipstick yeah, I didn't perfume good good in those tights, but That was like my only job that I'd had until I started doing construction jobs. Yeah My dad's an architect stepdad got me gigs He's an architect, and he got me gigs in the summer like like real jobs, and I was like holy shit I mean you're a laborer You're a 16 year old laborer on a construction site fuck your life. Yeah, fuck my life Every day fuck your life mm-hmm and plus I didn't know how to hydrate back then I never drank any water I drank like a coke in the morning and then all day no drinking what not no awareness probably already sunblock Was prawns like copper yeah, and I would just fucking carry shit all day and be so tired But I remember thinking okay. You got there's got to be a fucking plan We got to make a plan to avoid this you can't be doing this yeah guys It would do this my friend Leroy got me a job once this was a really important turning point him and his friend Hank They would renovate buildings in Dorchester's real shit neighborhood real bad And these buildings were like basically like completely wrecked And they would redo him and this one guy He was like semi homeless He lived in this place while they were redoing it and he had a Mountain Dew jug or a two liter thing of Mountain Dew That he filled with malt liquor. He would just drink this Mountain Dew jug of malt liquor all day He'd be just blasted all day on the construction site, and we're walking around this like exposed beams There's to the left and the right there's Fiberglass you know that's over lattice yeah, you could step through and you just drop right through the floor below Yeah, and this fucking guy walked like a ballerina drunk as fuck his name is Jeff never forget Jeff walked around this this Construction site and just barely not stepping on nails just barely and drunk Yeah, hammered everybody knew it shakes his hands would shake Just he would hold the mountain leader the two liter Mountain Dew thing and yeah fucking shaking while he's trying to drink wow Full-on Alki and you were like that's my future I didn't think it was my future, but I knew it could be a future if you did what that guy's doing like whoa yep Yeah, you realize that You know with I had a job I was actually in college, but one summer I went out to the Hamptons me and my brother and this other guy from Northern Ireland Sean he was fucking drunk and we shared a studio apartment Flea-ridden first two guys in got the fold-out catch third guy was on the floor So you try to fucking get home before the other guys with fleas Covered in fleas all summer. Did you guys have a dog did someone have a dog? No, somebody must have a dog before the place was infested Oh, no, and I would go down my job was I would ride my bike and I remember it was six miles I would ride my bike to the beach and I had to get there at like seven o'clock in the morning and it was an outdoor Beach Club. It was a bar Basically Brooklyn would unload and show up at this place. It was called summers on Dune Road in the Hamptons and they had two outdoor bars that each had six bartenders in it Pow, you know power pouring like fucking Tom Cruise and cocktail Chicks and bikinis bartending and then inside two more bars with six more bartenders Speakers the size of a fucking Volkswagen. So I'd get there at 7 a.m My job was get the fucking dolly and get ten speakers outside that were all the size of Volkswagen's plug them in First thing was do that and then I put on 2001 Space Odyssey at Nine to clear off all the drunks that were sleeping on the sand from the night before because you had to pay to get in So they wanted to clear the fucking beach all these people get up scream with their hands on Don't Don't you're like shut up And then I would carry up me and the other guy would carry up racks You know booze racks with like fucking 15 bottles in them carry them up stock each bar for six bartenders Start bringing up fucking garbage cans full of ice Filling up the troughs with ice bringing up cases of beer stuffing the beers into the ice I mean and then and then all sudden people started trickling in around 9 30 10 Crank the fucking bad disco music power pouring in the bikinis Guido is showing up chicks that would I would have to clean out the bathroom The women's bathroom at least three times a day. It'd be clogged up with tampons these nasty fucking Guido chicks from Brooklyn I would stick their bloody tampons in there be and then the men would throw fucking broken bottles into the Urinals I'd have to clean those out all day long up and down and the ice was down a flight of stairs With a broken down shitty ice machine and all day long I weighed 125 pounds up and down the stairs with buckets of ice on my shoulder cases of cores light and Just fry and it was all outside. So I was getting fried from the Sun and I'm thinking this is great I'm gonna get laid. I didn't get a fucking conversation with one of those chicks all summer long All I did was drink Miller lights and then a few times a day I'd run down to the beach dive in the ocean and fucking cool off come back But I made bank these bartenders. They knew I was taking care of them and they were they were making Thousand dollars a day really yeah, they were making crazy money and they would all tip me out. It's fucking, you know 15 bartenders all tipping. Wow. It was three of us me and two other guys Wow, and then I get on my bike at around 6 o'clock and I pedal back to our little flea infested studio apartment and then take a shower and then we go to this place Tequila Murphy's up the street and we dance We'd fucking dance to like, you know Rob base and DJ easy rock That's right the art of noise and we and I would break dance and we'd stay there till Fucking 2 in the morning and I come home get some more flea bites get up do it all over again every day