Joe Rogan - Jake The Snake on Andre the Giant

Unbelievable. I remember when we did the Andre thing, right? Andre was supposed to be afraid of the snake. Oh yeah, yeah. And he faints and fakes a heart attack and he's, you know, laying there. Poor Bobby Heaton. Bobby Heaton is over there checking a pound on his chest because he's supposed to act like he's had a heart attack. And somebody goes, give him out the mouth Bobby! And Bobby's like, are you fucking kidding me? That fucking giant breath that you had, man, from drinking. Giant breath. I love the giant to death, man. I mean, when I first got into wrestling, I was a referee in like 1974, so. And they came to me and said, look, you're not refereeing tomorrow night, but we want you to drive Andre around. Why? So you were a referee before you were a pro wrestler? Right, right. Which is actually the best way to start. Because you get a feel of it? You get a feel of it. You learn how to feel people and you learn how to judge people. You don't know how to read people, you know, in the crowd. You can read them. But I got the take care of Andre thing. They gave me a van. So Andre will sit in the back. Got him a beanbag chair. Just take him to the building. He'll do his thing. Give him a ride back to the hotel. Cool. 70 miles, no problem. 80 miles, whatever. So we get through with the show and he's like, beer! Okay! He talks. He walks. You know? So I stop and get him beer. I'm going to get a six pack my damn self, Andre. He goes, two cases. It's an 85 mile trip. Um, yeah, two cases. I'm like, fuck. Two cases? I guess he wants some for his room, right? So we get back in the van. We start driving. I don't know about you guys, man. Even when I drink. Until I get into that first third or fourth hour, I got a piss. Like every time I have a beer, I got a piss. I don't really buy beer. I just rent it, you know? I rent it, then I go get rid of it. But so after, you know, 30 miles, I pull, Andre, sorry, I got a piss. You know, I get down and piss. Get back in the van. You don't know, nothing. Mirror. Okay, I take it easy. I hear the pop topsy, pop, pop, pop. I'm like, he's fucking with me. He's fucking with me. We get a little closer. I got a piss again. Finally get there. Get out of this. I'll get your beer. He goes, finished. What? He drank 48 beers. Yeah, right. You know, fuck off. Fuck off, you big goof, you know? He leaves. I get in there, first thing I do, I'm checking with my hand, make sure I'm putting my hand in piss, because I figure this motherfucker never got out to piss. He drank two cases of beer and did not have to piss. I don't care if you outdrink me, but damn it, how can you do that? I mean, I felt so inadequate. This guy drank 48 beers and didn't piss. 48 beers in 80 miles? Yeah. That's insane. Oh, that was nothing. Probably his hand would cover that beer up. That's how big his hands were. Just an amazing athlete and an amazing man. And to be in the ring with him was, he was unbelievable. When Hulk Hogan hoisted him up in the air, look at that photo of him with a regular sized can of beer. That is insane. Doesn't even look real. That doesn't look real. That's a 12 ounce. Yeah. Yeah, that's a 12 ounce beer and it just vanishes inside his head. See if you can find that video of when Hulk Hogan picks him up over his head. Slams him, yeah. That was fucking insane. How much did he weigh? 550. 550 pounds. Now, 550 pounds just hoisting over your head with a bar, with an Olympic bar, is impressive. Yeah. But to do it with dead weight, with a man? Well, the thing about it is, it wouldn't happen unless Andre wanted you to. Right. Of course. Because he's going to boost himself. Of course. I mean, I remember being in the ring one night and he says, slam me. I'm like, yeah, you're fucking kidding me. But this is insane. Like, look at this. This is insane. But if you look where Andre's hands are, you see that he helps him pull him. Still. He had me pick him up and slam him one night. And he's like, slam him. I'm like, no fucking way. I thought he was kidding. No. Yes, sir. And then he's under and all of a sudden he's here. And I'm like, holy fuck, I've got him. Still insane. He would use that athletic energy for that. Yeah, my legs just started to fucking buckle. Yeah, you got to drop them fast. Well, what he's doing is. He's 300 pounds there. At least. Look how big he is. Look how big the job is. And jacked. But Hogan was fucking jacked. Oh, yeah. You know, I met him later in life, but I'd met him earlier too. I ran into him on the street once and I couldn't believe how fucking big he was. And the second time I saw him, he was shorter because he had so many back surgeries that his discs had been fused and he's still a giant human being, but he wasn't as big. He's not six eight no more. Yeah. He's about six four. He's not crazy. Piper told me when I was friends with Piper, he told me that when Hogan did that slam on Andre just like he could feel it just going all the way up. Is that true? I can only imagine. I closed line Andre one night and you know, I came into him hard because Andre wanted you to hit him hard. Which I say that's the most frustrating thing in the world right there. And I watch that. I'm like, you're trying to kill a motherfucker and he don't even know it. Yeah. So here I am in him as hard as I could. And he didn't know it. So when you reach out and just, I mean, he used to hit me and I'd be falling, right? That's a lot of energy. Me falling. He reached out and grabbed me by my hair and just pulled me right in my fucking feet and just ripped a fucking seal gear. Oh, here you two are. Look at that. I don't wait to 60 there. Wow. That's so crazy. That's you. Yeah, that is so crazy. Look how fucking big he was. He was so good. He did a horrible thing to me one night in the room and he knocked me down and I'm on my back and he stands on my hair and then reached out and grabbed my arms and pulled just ripped my fucking hair out. Wow. Did you guys plan shit out like that or did he just improvise that? We went out there and played. He liked me and I liked him. Andre will test you and if you don't man up to him, he'll fucking eat you. Did you get to see the documentary that they made on him on HBO? Talking about Savage. No, Andre. Yeah, no, no, no, I didn't see it. It's really great. You'd really love it. I don't want to. Yeah. Jesus hurt too much. Yeah. It made me cry. Yeah, it makes me cry and know what that man went through. What did he go through? Well, just people pointing and laughing. Right. In pain. In constant. His pain was unbelievable. Yeah. Because of wrestling. No, because of the growth. Growth. Yeah. Continually grow. Continually grow. You know, let's think about what a day is. Well, a bed don't fit too well. Right. Let's talk about hotels and bathrooms. Oh, no. Where's he going to shit? Right. Where does he shit? In the bathtub. No. Yeah. That's all he pays you could shit. Yeah. There's no toilet. Don't take his ass. Then he's got a squish in there. He just got it. No, he just fucking turned the shower on man. Let it dissolve it. Jesus. How would you like to do hot yoga in that bathroom with that shower spring? God damn it. He took a shit in the bathtub. Airplanes, cars. Yeah. Well, you know, he's almost giant. So did he have his house set up for him? Yeah. Wow. Another thing where Piper told me a great story about, you know, how everybody would always he would just get so harassed out in public and they were out drinking one night after shows and they were in on in some college town, like we'll say Madison, Wisconsin or something like that. And they're having some drinks at a bar and Piper was like these kids, these frat boys, you know, they noticed a few tables away and someone there an empty beer can hits Andre in the back of the head. It hits the ground. You know, Andre looks around and they're hanging out a couple minutes later. Another empty beer can hits Andre. He growls a little bit harder. And then a third beer can comes and Andre stands up. He'd hits him in his head. Andre stands up, you know, it takes them a while to get out of the booth or whatever, wherever they're at. And he and these guys get up and they start running and they chase Andre chases them. But when he gets out of the bar, they are in their car about to pull away. And Andre literally goes under the car that's out front of the bar and flips it over. There's a cop a half a block away who pulls up and arrests them for fucking with Andre the giant. After he flips their car with them in it. Those guys messed with me. I remember we were wrestling in Montreal. It was his birthday. Wow. He could do a back flip standing on the top rope and do a flip. Really? I was in the seat when he first started. But I'm wrestling him and we had this little thing we'd do where he'd get me in the corner and then he'd just still that weight into me, you know, which is pretty easy to register. And then I would slide down and then he would grab each side of the rope and do the ass drop. Of course, he's got these ropes. Well, that night he went to do it and his hand slipped. So all of a sudden his ass lands right here and just, you know, I heard fucking vertebrae and I'm like, can I breathe? I just want to know if I can breathe because I couldn't at the moment. I'm like screaming and I turned over on my side thing. Oh my God. How bad is it? I figured my sternum was broke, whatever. Yeah. And he sits on me and I'm like, Oh my God. I'm like, I'm trying to catch my breath, trying to let everything come back in because I've seen the lights coming at first. So I was going to pass out. And then I hear Andre laughing. And I hear the referee say, Andre, why are you laughing? He goes, I'm farting. And I'm like, what? And I could feel my fucking shoulder just vibrating like, and he's farting. You know how long a giant can fart? How long? About 40 seconds. He's like, but it was a steady flow. It wasn't 48 years where the fart went. Man, he got up, I had like a wine stain on my shoulder. You know, it was a birthmark. Look at that. Yeah. Amazing, amazing guy, man. But I used to think to myself, the fans really don't like me because they're putting me out there and the fans are cheering me on to charge into that fucking big giant. You want me to get killed, don't you? Fans are vicious. Why are y'all doing this to me? Don't cheer me. Tell me I'm a stupid fucker and you get out of the ring for the giant Echue. I'm down there.