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Joey Diaz is a stand-up comic and New York Times bestselling author. He's the host of the podcast "Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz," co-host of "The Check-In" with Lee Syatt, and author of "Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage." www.joeydiaz.net
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They do, however, test more than California, so they're more accurate in terms of their numbers. There's more testing being done in New York City, I think by three-fold, than California. It's crazy, man. This is a whole new time, and I really hope it's a wake-up call for us. It is a wake-up call. This is, Doug, listen, as jokey as this may sound or whatever, I've always had a faith. My faith got me to where I am today. A faith in what? On a higher power. Let's call it a higher power. I always had a faith in a higher power, and if anybody knows about karma is me, I'm the fucking poster boy for karma. I know all about it. For me, this is like, higher power, letting us know, it's a reset button. Take a look around. You guys have gotten caught up in selfies. Yeah. Like, we've gotten caught up in selfies. You go see a fucking concert, it's $250 and $60 to park. You go to a movie theater, you walk out. An American family can't go to a sporting event no more. The normal American family cannot go to a sporting event no more. We got a lot of control, Joe. We can't move in apartments no more. $1,500 for a studio. We just got greedy, man. The greed's been too much. I got to feel bad for Disney losing $6 million. Suck my dick, you were charging $140 a day, cocksucker. $140 a day. I think that's the least of our problems. No. I think the big problem is people think that this is all, this life, the way we're living is going to be permanent. No, no, no. It's changing for a reason. It's changing for a reason. We were getting fucking greedy. Well, there's definitely that. And we were getting a little overzealous. But we're soft. We're soft. That's the big one. We're soft right here because we don't have to deal with weather. Right here, we don't have to deal with nothing. You go outside every day. You can sleep outside. It's a beautiful day to be alive. It's a great place to be homeless. All you need is a sleeping bag. Get under an overpass. If it does rain, it only rains 10 days a year. You'll be fine. This is a great place because of that. But because of that also, we're not humbled enough. The places where people get humbled are the places where people have to deal with direct nature. Snowy places, real cold places. If you go to any place that's near an ocean, that's a little slap in the face like, wake up, bitch. Take a look at that. You ain't shit. Mountains are another one. Same thing. You could die up there, stupid. There's bears up there. There's mountain lions up there. They're fucking killing deer with their face. You don't think they'll fuck you up, too? Go hike. Go hike and get lost, hippie. It's a wake-up call, those places. And I think this is a wake-up call for the whole country, the whole world. It's a wake-up call. We're vulnerable. And it's also a wake-up call. I mean, I can't say this to enough people. Take care of your health, please. It is the one defense for this that seems to be agreed upon by almost everyone is that if you have a strong immune system, you have a better chance to get through any sickness, and you can do something to strengthen your immune system. Your immune system is something you can work on. You can work on it by cleaning up your diet. You can work on it with regular exercise. You can work on it with regular sleep. All those things have a real big impact on your immune system. So vitamins, supplement with vitamins, eat a healthy diet, get some exercise. And if you can, get in a fucking sauna every day. Tremendous for your body producing heat shock proteins, or your body reducing inflammation, alleviating stress. It's great for your cardiovascular system. It's just great for you. There's a bunch of different things you can do. You can use this as like, okay, I'm alive. Now this is a wake-up call. I'm so glad this didn't happen to me. I didn't get wrecked by this. I'm gonna get my life in order. And it can be done. It's something that everyone can do, and this is the time to do it. This is a good time to do it. If you're surviving and you're getting through this, this is a good time to get your health in line. What you don't know, a lot of people don't know about me, is I was a sickly kid. Really? I never believed that. From the age of four to six, because of my dad dying, and my mind going somewhere, my immune system fell apart, and it was respiratory. I always got colds, always shots, you know, vaccines. I knew the people by first name at the hospital. I rose to a hospital in New York. I mean, it was real with me. When I was six something, and I also have asthma, which went untreated. Like I just said... You have asthma still? Like my mother said, it's for faggots. Don't worry about it. You don't need it. You have asthma right now. I'll grow it. My daughter has it though. Really? She has it. And now I see it in her and I go... Does she have an inhaler? Yeah, she has a little inhaler. And you don't use an inhaler at all anymore? No. Did you ever? For like a week. Then my mother goes, get rid of that. You live in New York City. You don't want to get smacked, do you? Wow, your mother's heart. So I grew up with this fucking thing. And then, when I was 16, I got put in the hospital for 13 days for a lung infection from bariquet. So ever since then, like I'm not supposed to smoke. I'm never supposed to smoke. When I started smoking, I would get sick for days afterward. Like I had a jumper hurdle to smoke pot. But when you were smoking cigarettes, what about that? Let's not even talk about that. Let's talk about the hurdles I had smoking reefer early on. I would smoke reefer and it would be an event. I would have to take three or four days off. It would crush me for that long. Really? Then once I built the tolerance to that, then I started having to build the tolerance of who I smoked dope with. Like if I smoked dope with me, you and Jamie and somebody else, the next day, I'd have a temperature. Do you get sick from someone? Yeah, 13, 14. So by the age of 15, I already knew I had to keep my shit. Like if I smoked with you and Jamie every day, that's who I smoked with. Once somebody else comes into that circle, I would get sick. So I had to knock that out. So I had to be very aware at a young age of who I smoked with. I got sick a lot when I was competing. I wasn't taking care of myself. Back then I didn't even take vitamins. I didn't take shit. I got sick a lot. Because I was always stressed out too because I was always nervous, because I was fighting all the time. So you get ready and the weeks up to a tournament, that's the most stressful. And then the week of the tournament, I'd always come down with something. And you want to fight sick? I fought sick in Anaheim. I flew out to California to fight in the Nationals. I fought sick. I had three fights sick. Did we figure out what the percentage? That was an estimation that was close to 60%. I saw a week ago that it was only 20%. Well I think as time goes on, they're getting a better picture of it.