Joe Rogan Freaks Out Over Giant Dinosaur Bird

Imagine the pterodactyl days. What in the fuck was that like? Yeah! Giant flying lizards that are carnivores. Yep. Fuck that. Can you imagine? Here it is. Whoa. It's the largest ever. Well that sounds like Quetzalcoatl, which is the, um, that's that Aztec god. Q-U-E-T-Z-A-L-C-O-A-T-L-U-S. Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl was that, um, that flying god of the Aztecs. Can you just go back up to that? I was reading that top part right there. Yeah. A pterodactyl petrosaur from the Lake Cretaceous of North America. Largest known flying animal to have ever lived. So that is like probably, they probably named it after Quetzalcoatl, which was the, uh, see if you find that word. Quetzalcoatl, because I think that's what that was. It was an Aztec god. That was like a bird. Wingspan of 36 feet. Jesus Christ. 36 feet! Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Dude, that's a plane. Now see, this is a god, the feathered serpent. A name for the feathered serpent deity of the ancient Mesopotamian Mesoamerican culture. I wonder if there was ever a time where human beings and that petrosaur thing coincided. When was that petrosaur? When did that thing go extinct? That Quetzalcoatlus. You imagine if there was ancient human, you know, Neanderthals or whatever, Australia Pythagus, and you're looking up, you see a 35 foot bird. Baa! Baa! Fuck you, man. Fuck you. Fuck you. The bones were discovered in Texas. That's the same- Course. Right area. Course, Texans. Before the Comanches, they had giant flying dinosaurs. Goddamn. Just whatever it was. Late Cretaceous? I don't- What's that? No. When was that? That's a long time ago. Is that 10 million years? What is that? I think it says 100 to 66 million. Oh! So that's way before even the Yucatan impact that killed the dinosaurs. That was 65 million years ago. Yeah, since the climate was warmer than now, even then. What's the biggest thing that lived, that flew while people were alive? You think it was that Hosteagle? You said that was 3 meters, right? That's 9 feet. That's 3 meters. That's 3 feet. By the way, fuck that too. Imagine a 9 foot- That'll take your kid easily. 100%. That'll take a small kid. Maybe a pretty big kid. They carry deer away. No shit. Yeah, dude, they pulled goats off the side of cliffs and not even big ones. Damn. Have you ever seen that Golden Eagles do that? Golden Eagles are the biggest North American eagles. And I actually think bald eagles have done this as well. And they swoop down and they grab these sheep that are trying to climb their way up to the grounds. They pull them off and they drop them on the rocks and watch them smash. Wow. And sometimes they ride them down to the ground. Wow. Dude, there's one video, this one eagle, he grabs ahold of the sheep and pulls him off of the sheep or goat. I forget which one it was. He pulls it off the side of this wall and as it's going down, the eagle's hanging on. So the eagle hits the ground with it and bounces it. Oh my God, it's fucking madness. It's madness. That's beautiful. Yeah, the eagle's fine. Fine. Eagle fell, bounced, had this goat hit it in the head, bounced, fine. The end flies away. Yeah. Crazy, flexible bones that they have. Shit. Yeah, dude, we're so lucky. We have one thing to worry about right now other than normal shit that everybody has to worry about all the time in life. One new thing and everything just hits to a halt. One new thing, like whoa. The whole world changes, one new thing. Right. Albatross has a bigger wingspan than the host eagle. Really? It's about the same, maybe it says it's 11 feet. Jesus. Albatross, the ones that are alive right now? Wow. That's, what do they eat? Mostly fish, right? This even says a condor with a 24 foot wingspan. Fuck. That was 28 million years ago. Oh. I think albatross, they go out to sea for fucking weeks. What do they do, just dive in and eat fish? Dive and eat. Yeah. Look at that. Whoa. Yeah, that would be just more annoying than anything. I don't think they're going to kill you. But an eagle's got a face like a bolt cutter. As I was digging through a couple articles even speculated if those giant quetzalcoatl things, some other like petri-shuff, they were too big to even fly maybe. They could have been like giant ostrich type bird dinosaur type things. Oh, right. Yeah, they only have the bones, right? Just big wings, yeah. Just something that just got too big for its wings, didn't need to, maybe fly like a chicken. Like chickens can fly like, you know, they fly like 10 feet or something like that. They just kind of run and fly at the same time. They get a little air. No, I think about like my friend had a parrot when I was a kid, parrot or parakeet, I don't know birds, but it scared the shit out of me. Like I would reach into the cage just to like, you know, you try to stick your finger in its belly so it steps on your finger, but it bites you instead. And I remember being a full-sized human being scared of this. Take that and expand it by a thousand. Yeah. And it's flying above you. Yeah. Birds can scare the shit out of you. Yeah. They can pull a fucking salmon out of a flowing river with their feet and fly away with it. Yeah. Imagine even grabbing a salmon. Imagine just dunking your hand into a river and pulling a salmon out. No. Now imagine doing it while you're flying in. You snatch it, pull it out of the river, and then fly away with it. Right. And that's our American, that's our national bird. It's a national animal. It's a pretty cool national animal. I guess. It's a ruthless cunt of a flying dinosaur. Yeah. Wouldn't it be better if we had something compassionate? Shubills are close. Oh, they're real close. Shubills are super dangerous. Oh, yeah? Well, that is an ancient predatory carnivorous dinosaur that happens to still be alive. Why is that guy getting close to it with his kid? I don't know. Oh, don't do that. Please don't do that. Nothing bad happens in this. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I could imagine if that thing was pissed off at you. Whoa, he can touch it. I don't think anything bad happens. Bro, that's the kind of people that get eaten. I think we're fine. I don't think we're fine. I'm going to bend over and pull up my pants. Myself, I think it's dangerous. There are some animals that are dangerous, a really aggressive bird. A cassoway, I think it's called. And this lady's filming on the beach in Australia. She's like, oh, look, look at the cool birds. And the birds start going after her. They'll come fuck you to you. What is it? Balanepsis Rex. Shubill stork facts. That's what it's called, Balanepsis Rex. It's a Rex. It's a fucking dinosaur. Look at that face. Wow. Look at that one right there. Look at that one. Look at that image. What in the fuck is that? That's flightless, right? Yeah. But it gets to five feet tall, and it snatches fish and lizards and all kinds of other things and swells them whole. There's a fantastic documentary that BBC put out years ago about the Congo. And the shubill lives in the Congo. And in the Congo, the shubill eats this. There's a fish that comes out of the land and then crawls across the land until it can find another pond and then slides into that pond. Yeah. And the shubill's eating that thing, and you're like, what am I seeing? I'm seeing a battle between two prehistoric animals with a fish that can swim and then climb out of the water and walk on the ground and then jump in a new pond. Right. That's the missing link for evolution, the first animal, the first fish to get out of the water. That's the end of the video. Thanks for watching. See you next time. Bye-bye.