Joe Rogan Discusses Male Plastic Surgery with Whitney Cummings

She's like fucking a my buddy. I mean, she's like a ratchet chucky, you know? Well, it's the uncanny valley, right? She's in the uncanny valley where it's not quite a human. Where I went to Nvidia once, they're a video card, video game, they make video cards for computers, like really high-end graphics cards for gamers and stuff like that. And one of the things that they had was, and this was quite a few years ago, they had the state-of-the-art fake CGI person that you could kind of talk to and it was animated. And they were like, we're not quite there. Like we can't do the mouth. Like the tongue, you can't do the tongue correctly. I'll show you, because the muscles, that's what's so fascinating. Yeah, there it is. This is what we looked at. This is exactly the guy that we looked at. And is this the video of the show that I did? That's like 2013 FaceWorks, you can look it up. Yeah. So this was the guy, and he's also bald because they can't do the hair right. Of course, this was six years ago. But look how close it is, look at the skin. That's pretty amazing, like stubble. I mean, that's like razor burn. And also the eyebrows are really good. Yeah, but it's still uncanny. It's still not quite a person. There's something wrong. But that's video, which is better to duplicate than- Those wrinkles are good. It's wild because it does make you realize flaws are what make something look human. We spend all of our time trying to be without flaws, but that's actually what sells it. Well, as a woman, how do you feel about that? And we've talked about this before with guys, guys that use filters on their pictures. It is- I thought you were gonna say fillers because guys do that too now. They do that too, that's weird. That's weird, they're both equally weird. But there's something particularly disturbing to me about guys who use filters. I only know one. I'm glad I'm not single. That's all I'm saying. Cause I don't think I don't, you know, but yeah, I mean, it's alarming, but a lot of guys do it. I mean, guys are also getting fucking calf implants and shit and guys- What? What? Who's getting calf implants? I don't think anyone we know, but calf implants are a fucking thing. No, it's a big deal. Yes. What's a big deal? Of course. Onteros was 15 years ago, yeah. Yeah. I thought that was a joke. I don't believe so. I never watched Onteros. People get calf implants, guys are getting face lifts, all kinds of shit. I know, guys are getting lip injections, but what they say- Guys who suck dicks get lip injections. Yes, I would imagine. That's a different thing. I don't know, I know guys that wear makeup. Guys that wear makeup. There are some guys that I- What's going on here? Is this a calf implant website? Yeah, it's just cool images for calf implants. Whoa. Look at that one in the lower left. By the way, you can just run hills, you pussy. But when you do this, can you still exercise? Like, can you grow muscle underneath it? Wow, that guy's calves look very impressive on the right. I do have to say. I mean- They changed him. It's shortcuts. How much are these? Oh, those, no! Those look so fake. Those look like tits that fell down. You know what those look like? Like a cop, like an athletic cop. Yeah, it does. It looks like a fencer. Yes. Had to keep from getting kicked in the nuts. Yeah, no, he did that at the fucking mini mall in Reseda. That's a bad idea. How about that guy down there with a tattoo? Are those bad or good right there? Look at this one. That's pretty damn realistic. What does it hang onto? That's what I don't understand. I used to really be into the surgery channel. Well, I mean, it's gotta be like a tit. Silicone. Like a fake tit. Yeah, it's silicone or water-based or something like that. But how do you live with yourself? I don't know. That feels like a tricky one. What else do you just do? You're probably just trying to get laid and you're sad anyway. Oh no. Oh, look at the scars. Oh no. Oh, it looks like that's some Pinocchio shit right there. I don't like that. What's the thing on the left? Has it rotted? What are all those veins? I think you got the implants to take care of that problem. Well, I'm glad my robot's some least disturbing thing. He has some injuries. Like you got bit by wolves. This is why I got him. This is cause he got eaten by wolves. Yeah, that's what it looks like. Where? They're attacked. They sliced right behind his knee and just dropped him in. But look at his, there was no other options. His legs weren't great. Well, here's the other option. Don't get caffron plants. And stop running around outside with wolves. No, I'm just saying. I don't think he really got bit by wolves. That does happen. I thought that that's- Wolves get you, they usually get you, get you. It's very, coyotes might do that to your calves. Yeah, there's no margin of error with wolves. Yeah, they just break the bones of your leg with one bite. I had an injury, cause it was a car accident when he was younger. And his calves wouldn't grow? Yeah, I think a lot of it's reconstructive. That's just one sentence about it. Oh. Yeah, but a lot of guys get that shit. I know a guy who had pec implants. He was a skinny guy. They're breast implants. Yeah, he got pec implants. He got under his meat of his chest to make his chest poke forward more. And so is that something somebody does because they can't accomplish it naturally or they're just lazy in cutting corners? You'd have to ask them, but the reality is there's things, some people are ectomorphs, and ectomorphs are like really thin people that have an incredibly hard time gaining weight. Yeah. Their body just doesn't- Metabolism. Yeah, it doesn't grow mass. Yeah. Their muscles don't grow right. Yeah, male plastic surgery is a really big thing now, but putting filters on it, I don't know, that feels like a slippery fucking set. I fucking love that show, botched. Love it. And one episode was actually pretty interesting, whereas a guy had been in an injury and he got his calf, or his breast destroyed, his pec, and they had to fix it. How? I don't know. He just said nothing there. So he had like one that was like here. There was a guy who was a fighter, who's a high level UFC fighter. His name was Trey Telgman. He fought Vitor Belfort in 1997. He was Vitor Belfort's inaugural fight in the UFC. And we didn't know about Vitor when Vitor was 19 years old. And I knew who he was because I was training with Vitor back then. I was a white belt at Carlson Gracie School on Hawthorne in West Hollywood. So we knew he was this phenomenal talent, but a lot of people didn't know that he was this incredible boxer. He had this crazy hand speed. He lit this dude up. But anyway, Trey Telgman was in a car accident when he was a little kid. And he didn't have a pec. Like his chest was caved in. See if you photograph of Trey Telgman. The guy was a stud, too, and a handsome fella, too. But everything else just super jacked. But he had this crazy pec injury. I mean, also. Look at this. Look at that. See that? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. It looks like someone just like scooped out. Well, he was a baby, I think. And he was in a car accident. Oh, shit. And he had a pretty significant injury. That would psych me out. Yeah. Yeah. If a guy took his clothes off and you saw that. I mean, I just mean, that's your opponent. You're just like, oh, fuck. Wow. But he, um. That's badass. There's something hot about it. There's this is, I think there's something primal of like, he's fucking survived some shit. Stick with him. There's something hot about that. Like that dude from The Wire with that scar across his face. Totally. Scars, any kind of proof of injury, proof that you've been in battle, is attractive to my primal brain. I hate myself for it. Do you know that the Nazis used to have dueling scars that were very popular across the face? It was a big deal. They would get them on purpose. Like they would get into duels with swords. And they would have dueling scars. And a lot of the Operation Paperclip Nazis that we got from Germany, rather, at the end of World War II, when NASA took on a bunch of German scientists, a lot of them had these horrific dueling scars on their face. That they did on purpose? No, they would get in boarding school and in military school. They would get in fights with swords. And they would cut each other's faces open. Weren't they on meth and shit, too? Weren't they on amphetamines? For sure. But that was more the Japanese. That was the Kamikazes. The Kamikazes is the way they got them to fly into boats and just fucking explode their fucking airplanes. The way they got them to do that was they were mept out of their mind. America, fuck yeah. Try to find a picture of Nazi dueling scars. It's crazy, because like some guys that were hanging out with Wernher Herzog, no, Wernher von Braun. Wernher Herzog's the director. The director, the cockabooie. Yeah, Wernher von Braun, the guy was the head of NASA when they went to the moon. He had these guys that were working with him and these giant scars across their face. Huge, like footlong scars. Was it like a ritual to show your pecking order? Yeah, which showed you were a badass, that you had gotten through. But it was a big thing with the Nazis. And there's some horrific photos of these guys, young kids with huge gaping open wounds. Here's the photos. Holy. Yeah, zoom in on the, yeah, see this is a guy, this is right after the dueling cults. That's, yeah. So I was just reading a article on this. It said that women found it attractive. So some guys actually would do it on purpose. Oh yeah. They would have doctors slice off their fucking cheek. Well look at this guy right here with the goggles. Go to that guy with the goggles. Right there? Yeah, look at that. Yeah, he's got two big scars on his face and they had the goggles so they didn't cut their fucking eyes out. This is before anesthesia. Oh yeah. See, so he's got a plate over his nose to keep his nose intact, because you couldn't really stitch that bitch back on. But they would take these huge scars on their cheeks, because they would be dueling with real fucking swords. And they would have these practice dueling matches. And then they'd have to stitch them up. So these guys all had these huge scars. By the way, when it comes back to cauliflower ears, a lot of guys did that themselves on purpose. Look at their stitching them up. Whoa. A lot of guys did that themselves. They would smash their ears. Yeah, they would smash their ears on purpose. Oh yeah, all the time. Because it makes it look tough. A lot of white belts. Yeah, a lot of white belts that want to be like badasses. They'd smash their fucking ears.