Joe Rogan & Bill Burr on Unattainable Beauty Standard Outrage

You know, it was another good one. Look at me. The best ones, like most of my friends, we all got busted for drinking and driving. The best one was a buddy of mine. They read his, it was like, you know, practically four in the morning, we noticed a maroon VW Fox blowing its horn trying to pass on the right. We pulled the defendant over. After repeatedly asking the defendant to stay in the car, he got out of the car, threw his keys at my feet and repeatedly stated, lock me up, I'm fucked up. And this was funny, was my buddy was a good looking guy and the judge was a woman. And when the guy read that, you know, lock me up, I'm fucked up. And he wasn't the brightest guy. And he just kind of, he went like, he's like, put his head down like that. And he was, you know, a little pound puppy fucking looking dude. And she, she gave him like a lighter sentence and. Because he was good looking? I think so. Yeah. I mean, it all plays in. It does. That's why ugly people are complaining so much. Like they, they won't take the time to develop a fucking personality, write some jokes, do what the rest of us have to do. Like I don't get mad at Brad Pitt, you know, how can he fucking, cause he's fucking beautiful. I'm a fucking bald, red headed male. I know where I am in the pecking order. And some of these fucking people who are complaining right now, who are mad that beautiful people get treated differently. I understand racially speaking, but you're not going to do the beautiful thing. And then there's another thing they try to say, well, society tries to, you know, they're the ones that fucking like, you know, like I love when like there's a supermodel, like this is like an impossible standard of beauty to try and live up to. Yeah. That's why she's on the cover of a magazine. She's that level beautiful. And you're going to try and sit there and tell me that that was learned. Well, here's the thing. That's only women. Because when you see Jason Momoa playing Aquaman, you don't hear men say that's an impossible standard of beauty that we have to keep up with. No, I just make fun of that fucking stupid thing he has to hang on to. I don't get how much you can kick my ass. That is the dumbest. He should be on a fucking cereal box. It's a trident. For years they had a problem like with Aquaman. It's like he's in the ocean. Human beings are on earth. Like what are we, like I have to see that fucking movie. What are they going to be? Is it going to be like Japanese people like finning? He's going to save sharp. He goes under water. Is that his skin? Like well the bumps. What is that? Is that a suit? Doesn't water get in the gloves? You think that they have to be one piece, right? Yeah. They'll be annoying as shit. You're not putting water in your gloves? Well look it looks like it catches them. Like a water catcher. Like not just like water gets in the gloves. It's like a funnel. He looks like a stripper at a bachelorette party. He does. A good one. Like he pays money. He got a good one. He got dieted down for that. Yes he did and he got all the abs. So he's better than I am. Oh this is the fall look. It's a different one. The fall look. This is when he's in the Black Sea. You know what I mean? He wants to fucking. It gets cold. Yeah. He's going on in the UK. The UK has banned advertisements that feature unobtainable bodies. I tweeted it recently. The way they eat fish and chips over there. That's going to be most of advertising. Well they had these ads for summer bodies. You know you see a girl in a bikini and they're now making it illegal to put those kind of ads in. Why can't you aspire to that? Like I look at that Aquaman guy that makes me want to go to the gym. I don't be like, you know, he's got a full head of hair. You got to make me feel better. It's because the people that complain. Who are the people that complain? The people that complain are the people that don't want to work to be that lady. They don't want to work to get that kind of a body and they just want to not see it. They don't want to go to the subway and see a body that they're never going to have. Yeah I saw an actress complaining one time because the studio told her that she needed to lose 15 pounds. I'm like, you can't drop 15 to star in a movie? I mean what carrot can they, specifically carrots. Some veggies in your diet. What do they have to dangle in front of you to go to the fucking gym like the rest of us? Like I literally like, cause I always say, oh guys don't have to deal with that. It's like, yeah, we do. Of course Aquaman had to deal with that. What if he gained 20 pounds? Dude, forget about him. If just having five lines in a fucking movie, if I am north of 171, 72 pounds, the fucking tweets I get, hey Billy Boo's bag. Hey Billy bitch tits. Hey fat freckles. All of this shit that I get, they sit there and they're acting like fucking preteens where everything is just, everything's about them and the whole fucking world gives a shit. Celebrities with their fucking political views is the funniest thing ever. It's like all you're, you're not making anybody change their mind politically. I feel like I need to fucking speak up. It's like no, you can't have the spotlight on you enough. That's all you're doing. What you're doing with that bullshit is you're first of all, you're alienating half the fucking people that are going to go see whatever the fuck you're in. And then secondly, you're just getting on the radar of lunatics in white vans with two seats that are looking up how to fucking build pipe bombs. Like that, that's, that's the fallout. It's like the jerk when he goes average run of the mill son of a bitch. You know what he picks? Steve Martin. The idea that a girl shouldn't be asked to lose weight to look hot for a movie is fucking crazy because that's what you're playing. You're playing a hot woman. And there's millions of, everybody's in shape. I remember fucking seeing, I used to do a bit about this. I saw Ben Stiller in Meet the Fockers or something. There was a scene where he had to have his shirt off in the pool. He had fucking abs and a comedy. Yeah. Because that's, because you were seeing the influence of the fucking internet. You know what I mean? It was just like, you know, it gets in your head. People just fucking trashing you. Like I already knew I was unsightly, but I didn't realize how many things that people didn't enjoy about me until I got on the internet. I was like, wow, I never noticed that about myself. So yeah, I don't have, look, if somebody really has like a fucking eating disorder, you know, I feel like fucking obese. I have sympathy for those people. But if you're 15 pounds, 20 pounds overweight, I mean, fucking, you know, did he drink some fucking smoothies? These women that are playing these roles have to understand, first of all, that part of the reason why you got that role is not just because of your acting ability, but also because you're pretty. You have a beautiful face. You were born with it. You didn't even work at it. And then on top of that, you're supposed to be playing a beautiful person in the movie. They would like you to not be fat. It's that simple. Well, there's also, there's also, there's also, there's millions of dollars at stake that could be lost. So I always feel like your job is, even if you look like me, is to show up on time knowing your lines in the best possible shape you could get yourself in. That's, that's the role. That's the, even if I'm just fucking playing anybody. What if you're Artie Lang? What if you're Artie Lang and you're supposed to play the guy that's smoking cigarettes and you're the brother-in-law that's drunk all the time? Then your job's still looked that way. Yeah, your job's looked that way. Yeah. Yeah. Her job's looking at the hot woman that everybody wants to fuck. If they're telling you you have to lose weight and you're a beautiful woman, it's because they want to make you more attractive. There's not like discrimination. There's a reason. They want a better product. Oh, they want to make money. Yeah. They want to try to make money. They want a better product. And I'll tell you another thing too. Like really, those, both male and female, like those beautiful people at that level, it's like they're fucking aliens. I've done a couple of movies. I did a movie one time and I remember it was a scene, we were in a car and the star of the movie was holding onto the steering wheel. And I was like, I never thought this ever about a woman. I was like, her forearms are gorgeous. I was looking at them like those forearms are perfect. But I didn't make me, when I went to Stockholm, Sweden, how beautiful the people were. I was walking down the street pointing at guys with my wife going, look at that guy. Look at that. That fucking guy, he's like an accountant. Walking down the street, he's like, does he know if you fucking came over here, he'd be starring in movies? And that's not all of Sweden, by the way. That's like just when you're in Stockholm, that's like they're Manhattan. So all the beautiful fucking people. But I mean, I went into a couple, I went to this magazine, bought like a magazine or something like that when I was over there. And the woman behind the counter was like a fucking 11 here. But she was working at a magazine stand, so that was her energy. Like, hey, how you doing? I'm working in a magazine stand. My dream hasn't come true yet. You're just looking at them like you could sign with the, who was that big modeling agency? Yeah, like that all like Cindy Crawford and all them were with back in the day. The Vikings, it's Viking blood. The best looking people. They went over there and raped and pillaged and all that good DNA is left there. They caught the best women, they kept them alive, killed everybody else. Oh, is that what happened? Oh yeah. I don't know what happened. Vikings. That's why they're so big, beautiful. Oh yeah, no, they're super tall. That's one of the funniest things ever. When you go over to like the, what do they call those? The Nordic and then Scandinavia is within the Nordic countries. I always have to remind myself of that. Like you'd go over there, it was the funniest fucking shit because they're so goddamn tall. There would be kids almost my height whose voices hadn't changed yet. And they had the mentality of like an 11 year old and they'd be like, no, they would've said they were speaking that. I said, how's it changing? How did they, they were talking and their voice hadn't changed yet. And I was just sitting there laughing my ass off going, these are like fucking, yeah, they were like, everybody was like, uh, like six, three, six, four, six, five, like rail thin with their fucking European pants.