How Joey Diaz Woke Up With Cheese In His CPAP Mask

I just told you, I have to... Listen, I'll give you one of these capsules You won't see daylight till tomorrow, okay? The TAC capsules? Oh, these things right here are the strongest things in the market What's in there? A, B is fucking Hash oil, a little bit of oxygen And 100 milligrams of TAC How many are you taking? I can pop two in the afternoon 200 milligrams, then take another 200 tonight And I'll be okay No, I got this new thing called Quick Z Quick Z? Quick Z What is that? It's a little towards container If you want to sleep, you come see me Quick Z? Quick Z What's in it? Melatonin, like triple Anything that puts you to sleep naturally They've put it in there Plus 100 milligrams of either sativa, indica, or hybrid marijuana And you drink it, dog First time I drank it, I found myself Usually, I fall asleep like you do, like this Like reading the computer and you're like this Yeah All right, that's one way That's A B is this one I'm away from the computer Right? I actually back away and just got... And then slump Have you done that one, Joe? I'm sure I've done that one Yes, you have Last week, no, two weeks ago I got so fucked up Because I thought I was going to go to New York and die from the corolla And that was... But I actually drank that shit I ate two pills Oh my god I ate two of these first Nothing happened Like I'm like, fuck Nothing's happened And then I drank the fucking liquid And something started to happen But it wasn't going fast enough It was like 10, 15 I wanted this... I wanted to go to bed So I popped two more of these Oh my god They all hit me at once Like a Larry Holmes fucking left hook That night I woke up on the floor I fell off the chair And the heater woke me up I have a heater in my office My back was on fire I woke up I'm like, why am I on fire here? Right? I woke up dogging in a trance I went into the kitchen I opened up the refrigerator And I pulled out a half a pound of deluxe Bought that cheese that she had just bought An American cheese I took a pack of saltine crackers Because in my mind I'm not eating bread I'm okay I'm not eating bread I'm ahead of this motherfucker You're eating crackers? Dog, I ate the whole half a pound of deluxe I had And the whole thing of American cheese Sliced in with crackers And I just went to bed I woke up the next morning I took off my mask There was a big chunk of American cheese In the sleep after your mask Didn't you have M&Ms in your mask once too? Oh my god I was like, what the fuck did I... Last night I fucking went out My wife's like, Joey I have a pound of ham I just bought that What were you thinking? I go, what was I thinking? You have no idea what I was going through Last night, you fucker I didn't get into bed till four in the morning I went to bed at four in the fucking... Like I woke up at 3.30 And was like, what the fuck happened? I must have went down at a quarter to 11 I had been... I probably was in this position for an hour And then I just fell off the fucking stool And just lay on the floor Nobody saw me That's how drilled I got