Does Butt-Chugging Count During Sober October?

It's sober October. Supposed to be sober. Just be sober. You guys love yourself. But Ari and I already smoked a cigar. We did already smoke a cigar. That's permitted. Guys, a cigar is fine. Cigar. We're pretty high. We got silly. I know, but cigars are fine. We got a last cigar. I'm starting smoking for this month. Cigarettes? You would be a fucking man! You ever smoked a cigarette before you went on stage? I would love it. I took one of the Hinchcliffe cigarettes once before I went on stage and I stole one of Chappelle's too. It gives you a buzz. You hate cigarettes though. Well I hate anything that's bad for you. But the cigarette does give you an interesting buzz. It is a buzz. Me and Big J did one of my podcasts. We talked about smoking. And it was this like, awesome. I would love a cigarette right now. Do it. You gotta get in the cigarettes too. You only start smoking cigarettes, like regularly smoking cigarettes late in life. Is it the Paulo? Yeah he did. He started? Like when he was 50. That's really weird. That's great fucking hilarious. Do you know, Marin was addicted to the lozenges? Niggity-tud. Yeah. And he was getting to the point where he couldn't see and getting physically ill. He was eating so many, he'd wake up and they'd go to sleep with him in his mouth. God damn. Is he off now? Is he off now? Yeah he's off. I think he's got like 14 days off lozenges. What? What a fucking dumb thing to be addicted to. Well he must have been really good at nicotine. I think he was really in the nicotine. Get off these chewing gums. Fucking idiot. Get the fucking hobby. Come on. He's 60 years old. He can't get off gum. No. It must be good man. Well you know, I didn't say it was nicotine gum, right? I said it was nicotine lozenges, right? Yeah. I tried the gum because I wanted to see if it gives you the same head brush that the smoke did. Does it? No. I tried snus in Stockholm. The package you put in. Oh so good. It gives you the buzz. That's a lot better than anything. I remember the dip buzz was fucking intense. Oh I could really get into dipping. Dip can give you a buzz. Can we dip this month? Yeah. Do you like how white knuckling we're getting into this month? We've all been here before. You can chew, you can smoke cigars, you can dip. You can smoke cigarettes. How many are you getting into cigarettes? I feel like we're not sober. How about just socially drinking? You just can't do it alone. Well what does that mean? I mean the bird's on stage in front of 2,000 people. That's social. That's a good point. I didn't consider that but you're right. I think if you do anything with a needle it should be permitted just because... It's kind of high risk. You deserve a little bit for taking the risk. If we do anal chugs where you drink the booze out of your egg and use the absorbed tapels... Oh oh oh oh oh. I need to tell you this. A friend of mine, his wife is a teacher and they have a problem in school with middle school kids who are taking tampons and they're dipping them in rubbing alcohol and stuffing them up their assholes. Dude. And they're getting high as fuck. Whoa. Tampons rubbing alcohol in your asshole. Apparently you just get blitzkrieg. That sounds great. You can die. You can die. You can die. You're just sitting there in class getting fucked up. Can you imagine with your fucking swollen asshole with that? How much I can take in? A tampon up your asshole with rubbing alcohol. Let's see if we can just get a tampon up our asshole first. I bet you could do it. You could do it. Get me a tampon. I'll try it. You went through two different years of going a whole month with no booze. I know how he works. Burt, I bet you can't do it. No way. There's no way you could get a tampon in your asshole. Guys, there's six tampons in my asshole. Six tampons in my asshole? Look, if you look, it looks like a squid. I have a tampon for each one of my family members. Our initial results say this is an urban legend, but there are apparently medical cases that are happening. No, no, no. This is my friend's wife who is a fucking schoolteacher. They have interventions on these kids. There's articles going back for ten years saying kids have been doing this. Yeah, I remember a long time ago. Talk about having to break that from your kid going, hey, put your pants down. Did you ever anal chug? Did you ever do that? You did? I thought it was just vodka. We did anal chugs in college and it was like for an eternity where you do a handstand, pour a beer in a dude's asshole. And then catch it in a cup and then you drink it. You drink it out of a dude's asshole. Fucking doofuses. Yeah, ATO for life. Oh my God, you fucking dickwads. That's so fucking gay. That's really gay. That's so stupid. You drank beer out of all the men in the house. I'm talking about ingesting. What kind of cleaning did you do to this person's asshole first? None. And the floor afterwards. All you had to hear was one person go, anal chug. And you're like, looks like we're drinking out of each other's assholes. Fuckin' frog. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait, you never though ingested through your asshole? No, I've never ingested. No, they chugged it out of someone else's asshole. No, that's fucking, that's disgusting. That's disgusting. I'm talking about ingesting it. Did you see things floating around in your beer? Dingleberries? You didn't examine it. You didn't examine it. You just murdered it. Oh Jesus. How about if we can drink beer if we only do anal chugs? Oh God, only if you're Josh Martin's asshole. That's it. Only Josh. Anal chug. Or you'd do an anal chug. If you're a skank fest. If you're a skank fest. If it was the first to break sober or a trubber, for sure. I would do an anal chug. If you have a sip of that, I will do an anal chug. Anal chug.