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Chris D'Elia is an actor, writer, and comedian. His new special "Man On Fire" is available now on Netflix, and he also has a podcast called Congratulations available to download via iTunes.
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Are these fucking, are these nails? No, those are wild boar's tusks. Yeah. Wow. From my buddy Adam Greentree, same guy who shot that thing. He gave me those. Have you ever slain a boar? Yeah. You have? Yeah. Tough animals. Yeah. The Tahon Ranch place, I've hunted them a couple times out there. They're interesting. How's the meat? It's very good. Yeah. We were walking down this trail and we heard them fighting in the bushes. If you didn't know any better, they had no idea we were there, you would think they were demons. God. Jesus. Jesus. Yeah, they were going to war with each other. It sounded horrible. Yeah, it's a horrible sound. Don't worry, you'll never be out in the field with animals. They'll fuck you up, man. Oh, yeah. Animals, are you talking about? No, I could join in. No, no, no. Wild pigs will fuck you up. Yes, they will. Yes, they will. Yeah. They're the old boar's tusks. That's what that is. Yeah. Yeah. Watch Chris. Chris, you gotta see. I see. No, no, that's okay. Just look at his eyes. Nah, it's funny. Just look at his eyes. Come on, man. Come on, man. Have you ever been camping? No, no. I'll answer the question. No. Dude, fuck it, man. We got so... But you drink black coffee. You are rugged. No, no, no. Hey, Joe's got a point. No. I'm a rugged boy. All right, watch this. Come on, come on, come on, come on, dude. Try to keep your eyes open. No, no, no. No camping at all, ever? No, no. Nah, I went out in my buddy's backyard once and we fucking went into the woods a little bit and we stayed there and then out of nowhere this old lady was like, can you guys keep it down? And we're like, who the fuck's that? And to this day, I think it was a ghost. I don't care. You know what you should do, actually? I'll bullshit aside. We should go hunting. You come. You stay at the campfire. You cook. That would be a great show. Yeah. You should be waiting for us when we come back and you prepare the meal. That's right. So you be our guy and then shave. That's upset. And you can shave down after we eat. I'm not gonna shave down. After you shave down, you make us a meal. And afterwards, we fuck you. Dude, what? That's so overworked. Jesus, bro. Jesus, bro. Whoa, bro. In the wild, nobody's looking. But they are. Well, we all know. They got fucking cameras out there, bro. They probably do now.