Bill Burr on Coronavirus Quarantine, Rants About Mask Wearing

She had the COVID. She had it. She got it over. She kicked it. I'm surprised more comics didn't get it the way we're shaking hands and meeting people after shows. Yeah. I somehow, I got tested, my wife had the kids we had to get tested, so I was, I somehow. You clean? Yeah. Big J Ockerson got it. He had it and he's clean. It feels weird to be talking about people that have it. Yeah. I know a lot of people that caught it. Yeah. I got nine. You're like naming names like Joe McCarthy over there. Yeah. Well, they're fine now. Well, I like people who've had it now because they have the antibodies. They think they can like walk on fire. It's like, dude, this thing is a brand new thing. I don't know if you want to be testing. You know, I got a buddy of mine, uh, ended up getting it. And then he was just like, oh, they, I got tested. I got the antibodies. So now I think he feels like he's bulletproof. So they don't even know if you can catch it again. They don't, they really have no idea. Well, people are going to find out. Yeah. Because when I was driving over here, I actually got into a moderate level of traffic on the highway. Like I've noticed that's just at some point, I mean, considering people are just kind of doing what they want to do. And a lot of people were. After two weeks, everyone just sort of, depending on where your ego was, like, you know, the fuck tell me this is all fucking something. I'm going to go outside. Those people, they just kept it going. So now I just feel like, well, you can't have 60% of the population go broke because less than 1% has something. Yeah. So I don't know. I think we're just going to just go back. I think we're just going to go back. And if you get it, you get it. And if you die, you die. And if you don't, you don't. And then eventually they're going to get, they're going to get something that'll slow it down or stop it or something like that. Because it slows it down. Your fucking immune system. They don't tell you a goddamn thing about that. They don't tell you how to take care of your immune system. There's no word about that. Put a mask on. Wash your hands. No one's telling you sleep more, drink water, take vitamins. There's none of that. Yeah. I know this one guy who brought up vitamin D on his big podcast and then you couldn't find it anymore. Dude, you're like fucking Oprah, when she attacked the meat industry. I just saw a clip, oh, this guy on Rogan. And of course it didn't even research who the guy was. It was just like, take vitamin D. A woman. That's how much I pay attention. And then I go to the fucking health food store. It's all gone. And there was something that was just bootleg vitamin D. It was like vitamin D plus. I'm like, what is that? What is that? I know that that's probably going to make me catch it. So I just take vitamin C and I try to get eight hours sleep. I've been doing a pretty good job of a pretty antisocial, like a lot of comics. So I haven't had a problem. Keep it away from everybody? Is it my way for you? Yeah, my wife, I quarantine in my house. My wife's like, you guys need to sit down and have dinner with us? I'm always open to go. If I'm alone, no one can hurt me. It's leftover childhood shit just coming from a family of loners. So do you feel weird not to stand up? What has that been like? I did not miss it at all. But I think that whenever there's something painful in my life, I think that that's what I do is I just go, I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I really learned a lot more about myself during this quiet time of not running around and going to airports and kind of sitting with myself and being like, wow, I thought I was way further down the road working on myself than I was, but I have a lot of fucking childhood issues left over. I got a lot. I was like, what? Isn't that crazy? Like I really started, like all these puzzle pieces just started coming in and I was able to look all the way back where I was to where I am now and how I got here and these little fucking things that happened to me. You know, good things and bad that just sort of just knocked me down this road that I'm on. I'm alone with alone time. Yeah. Well, you know, my wife was going through the third trimester, you know, when they're just over it and you're like, oh God, there's six weeks to go. I'm ready to have it. No. He's like, oh no. I finally get my daughter to bed, get her to bed. Everything was good, made sure all the doors were locked. And then I was just sort of like, why? All these years of doing stand up, I'm just up at that hour. So I was just sort of, you know, sitting kind of by myself. Like I, I, I'm worried about a second wave of the Corona. I'm worried about them locking things down. Someone's got to step in and stop them from doing that. Next, next wave. You guys got to be proactive. You got to do something about people's immune systems. You got to lock down old people and sick people. Let regular people do whatever the fuck they want. You can't, you can't just lock people's freedom down for something that killed a small fraction of what you thought it was going to kill. The whole thing is, it's just fucking creepy to have guys like Mayor Garcetti be in charge of telling people whether or not they get to work. Like that's not what a governor is supposed to be. That's not what a mayor is supposed to be. They're trying to look out for your best interests and trying to get 400 million people to all pull in the same direction. It's fucking, you can't get 40 comics to pull in the same direction. So like they have like an impossible, they did and they didn't. There was, there was people fucking right the whole fucking time. There's been fucking assholes on my street walking around, no masks, you know, not quarantining like the people that come by the houses. You see the fucking, you know, the same people that were going in and out of the house who are not part of their family still going in and out of the house. You want people to walk down the street with a mask on? Let's not start this, John. Do you though? Let's not start this. Okay. Let's start it. I don't want to start this bullshit. I'm not going to sit here with no medical degree, listening to you with no medical degree, with an American flag behind you, smoking a cigar, acting like we know what's up better than the CDC. All I do is I listen, I watch the news once every two weeks. I'm like, mask or no mask? Still mask? All right, mask. That's all I give a fuck about. I don't care. But even they say you shouldn't wear a mask unless you're treating a coronavirus patient. The World Health Organization literally said that. Yeah, but they didn't say that initially. They didn't say it initially. No, they didn't. They did. And then it gradually, then it gradually, and then, wait, wait, wait, wait, and then everybody wore the fucking masks. This is like rollerblading. Everybody fucking rollerbladed. And then there was that one fucking homophobic joke and then everybody acted like they never did it. And then 100 million fucking rollerblades got thrown into the fucking ocean. We all wore masks. And then all of a sudden, people are fucking sitting there, but you don't have the body type fort, dude. Your fucking knuckles would scrape on the ground, even with that extra two inches. I just love how wearing a mask became like this fucking soft thing that you were doing, like being courteous, being courteous. Why is it for bitches? That was so stupid. I was just doing a mask. First of all, it's not- Oh God, you're so tough with your fucking open nose and throat. Gee, Joe, and your five o'clock shadow. This is a man right here. A man doesn't wear a mask. Why does it always become like that? It's always like the man's- This is what men do. It's what men do. We make fun of things. Anything. Anything that seems like you're not taking chances, right? That's what the mask is. I don't have a problem with that unless you were already wearing the mask and then you're acting like you didn't. Then all of a sudden people watch your thing and then they all pile up. Oh, look at this bitch wearing the mask. You were fucking doing it two weeks ago. I was scared out of my mind in the beginning. In the beginning, when everybody's shutting down in the beginning and people are stockpiling food, I was convinced. I was like, Jesus Christ. Dude, you have like nine elk in your basement. You were the one person I knew was fine. Tom Poppins making bread. I had plenty of food. I knew he was fine. That's not what I was worried about. I was worried about people I knew getting really sick and dying. Then I was convinced that I had it at one point in time. I was like, God, I do feel like I'm breathing heavy. I felt like my breath is coming short. I did. I had psychosomatic issues thinking about it. Now who's the bitch? I got over it though. I got over it. I had a fucking panic attack sitting on fucking 12 elk. You had a fucking panic attack. In a sauna. Then you felt bad about yourself and then you attacked people with masks. That's how it works. That's how the hatred starts and that's right now why seven blocks of Seattle, you can't go now and get yourself. I'm going to go and I'm going to drop off free food for those folks. Those fine protesters. Joe, there's a major American city where seven blocks that people have took over it and I had no idea what you were talking about. That's great. Anything that I say. I don't watch it. I envy you. At all.