Banned Airplane Items Don't Make Sense w/Michelle Wolf | Joe Rogan

You know, like I was there. I saw everything. I cut it up. I carried it out. Do you butcher it yourself? I didn't butcher it myself, but we quartered it, which means you take the legs off and the back straps off and you take all the big parts of meat and then I send it to a butcher and they'll make sausages and cut it into rows. How do you get the elk back to California? Cooler. Just like on the plane? Yep. Yeah, Yeti coolers. They have these things called a Yeti hopper. So it's like a bag, like a big bag, like about this big and you can get two back straps in there from an elk. Elk back straps, like, you know, elk's a big animal. 800 pound animal. I just love the idea that there's all these people on planes with like, they're going to LA with their little dog and there's just like elk meat in storage. Yeah, I put it in the overhead. You put it in the overhead? Yeah. Wait, for real. For real. You have elk meat. A hundred percent. That's great. That's how I carry it back. I love this. Well, you have to, if you, I could either send all of it to the, but the back straps are so easy. What happens when you put it through security? Are they like, what's going on here? They're like, oh, you got an elk. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, they know, and places like Utah, they're used to that. I mean, this makes me so mad because I had an Alexander McQueen purse. You know the ones, you guys know Alexander McQueen purses, right? You're familiar with the line. They have ones that have like rings that you like, you put your hand through and it's like a bunch of rings attached to the purse. Well, I brought it through security and they were like, no, you have to check this because it looks like brass knuckles. Oh, come on. And so I had to check my McQueen purse, my little quilted patent leather McQueen purse. That is so ridiculous. And you can bring elk. Well, Tony Hinchcliffe tried to bring a pool stick. We went to, this is what's, here's what's really crazy. We went to Phoenix this past weekend. We're working together and my friend Scott Frost has a shout out to Scott Frost, has a place in Tempe, this big pool hall. Scott's like a big time gambler, pool player, professional pool player, very famous guy in the world of pool. And so we were going to go and play at his place. And so Tony brought his pool cue and in LA, he didn't even check it. He just walked right through security with a pool cue. Pool cue was totally illegal to bring on a plane. So we're walking around LAX and I go, hey man, you have a fucking pool cue with you? He goes, yeah, I go, how did you do that? He goes, I just walked right through. I go, what? He goes, yeah, I just walked through. I go, dude, that's illegal. You can't have that. He goes, I'm pretty sure it's legal now. So on the way back from Phoenix, they were like, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm just going to bring the pool cue on the plane. And I was like, no, you're not. Go check that shit. So he had to go back out. We had to hold on to his bags. He went back out and he had to go back to the counter and check it and come back. Wait, why is it so illegal? Because you could be someone to death with it. Oh, right. I was thinking poke. I guess you can do that. You go up to the, you somehow get into the cockpit and you're just like poking the back of their heads. They annoy me so much. He made us fly to Miami. No, it's a hardwood club, basically. Oh, that's yeah, I'm dumb. That's a better, that would be a better way to use a weapon. Have you ever watched a Steven Seagal movie? Oh, right. Yeah. It gets people up a pool cue. It's like, that's fucking karate on them and shit. But there's so much stuff like that. Like, oh yeah. Well, they sell glass bottles inside the terminal, which you could break. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then have a glass weapon. Right. But don't they hold those? Like when you have duty free, don't they hold on to that stuff and then you get it later or something? I think you can buy glass bottles of like, like sparkling water in like, in throughout the thing. I think you can. Yeah. You definitely can buy a bottle of water, like a water bottle. Can you buy like a Voss bottle? I think so. I've never seen one. I think they have the little glass sparkling ones. I might be wrong. We might both be full of shit here. Yeah. Let's fight it out. I brought a big, big fucking knife once on a plane. Really? Went right through security at LAX again with a big. On purpose? No. My friend Jocko gave me this knife. Shout out to Jocko. He gave me this knife and I had it in my fanny pack and it just went right through security. Yeah. I mean, it's a fucking clique, a big hefty knife. Yeah. And I was like, whoa. I got back to my place and I was in my hotel room and then I noticed I had it. I was like, holy shit. Well, look, I get excited when I can get hair product through. What's the rule on hair products? Well, it's supposed to be under whatever three ounces, but every once in a while I'll forget or I'll be running late and I'll throw in the full-size bottle. Crazy. And luckily, a lot of times it'll be like black women. They'll be like, they'll see it and they'll be like, no, it's fine. Go ahead. I'll be like, thank you so much. Well, they know you're not a fucking terrorist. It's so ridiculous. And also, it's hard to find the right hair product in some of the places we go. They were going to let people bring knives again. They were going to let people bring four-inch knives and they were going to let people bring pool cues. But then I think something happened and there was another event. Oh, you know what it was? You remember at LAX where that guy shot one of the TSA agents, came to LAX with a rifle and shot a TSA agent? That's right when that was going down, then they locked it down. So if I was a conspiracy theorist, I'd say they don't want us bringing little knives and pool cues. So they shot that guy. It's a false flag. I mean, it's logical though. I can follow the logic. It's just what you kind of can't bring is crazy. How come you can bring a skateboard? I could beat someone to death with a skateboard. Oh yeah. Way better than a pool cue. Also, it's like you couldn't just have a bunch of three-ounce things that you combined together. Yeah, make a big bomb. Yeah, you have a bunch of three-ounce things and an empty tub. What's the empty tub for? Nothing. Why does it have a fuse? You don't know if this is poison? I don't know. Right, it could be anything. Yeah. Right, like those little two. You could definitely take something and I probably shouldn't even say this. Yeah, I don't want to give anybody any ideas. What if I did say that and then someone did do that? See, there's a lot of people that are really crazy and not that creative. Right. Yeah, they're just like, ah, if only I knew a way to do this. Use your brain, buddy. Like the shoe bomber. That fucking asshole. Now everybody has to take their shoes off. Nobody took their shoes off before that. Because he had a bad shoe bomb. It was terrible. Yeah. But he was trying to light it in front of everybody. He didn't even do it in the bathroom, the fucking idiot. Is that what you do? You light bombs? If I was going to light a bomb, I'd light it in the bathroom. You know what? Just light it, flush it. And then start walking. Oh, of the plane. Like you don't even know what's happening. Like one of the action movies where the bomb goes off behind you. Yeah. That's what you do. Just walk. Just walk down the aisle. You're just hoping someone Instagrams it at the right time too. You're like, oh, we're all going to die, but also what a good post. But also hopefully your phone is really durable. It makes the trip. They can extract this video. I fell from this guy and we did get this amazing action photo. Yeah. It's a weird thing that everybody gets super, super checked flying, but you don't get super, super checked when you go to the mall. You don't get super, super checked. There's all these other places where you don't get super, super checked. Yeah. I mean, I feel like there should just be metal detectors everywhere. How hard is it to get on a train? Very easy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.