Ari Shaffir Rips Into Cultural Appropriation

I need you to cut that thing off a little bit please. Drive me crazy. That's half of why I do it. 50 year old man with a foot in it. Dude I took July off of my internet and everything. I just took it off. And then I got so bored that I shaved bald into my head. I saw that. Yeah, I was just so bored. Good luck. Thanks. But I did it for the same reason I leave this on. My girlfriend hates it. So I was trying to shave my head with the back of a beard, of a trimmer. So the back is just for your sideburns. But I was trying to shave all my head. And after like 40 minutes I was back to like there. And I was like fuck this. I'll go buy a real beard trimmer the next day. And I saw my girlfriend and she was like hey what? No come on no. And I was like no I'm gonna. Oh no I'm not keeping it now. I kept it for a month and a half. I only shaved it because somebody died in the comedy scene. And I didn't want to beat his funeral like that. But it was great dude. I bronzed it. It was so much fun. I got a tan. You couldn't really tell. You tanned the stripe? Yeah. Oh interesting. Yeah so it was just a bald cut. Oh nice. Bronzed. It was a lot of fun. How come bronzing is okay but blackface isn't? You're acting like a tanner person? Yeah. What you're acting like you're Brazilian? Yeah you're right. Yeah. It shouldn't be allowed. You're acting like you're from Ecuador or something. Like you're a jungle person. I have a new theory about cultural appropriation. I want to hear it. Yeah. Okay so you know how to respect every person's culture? Right. You have to. If a part of their culture is wrong like I say about the Chinese pushing on subway. I had a bit like two specials ago about Chinese people. If they try to get on an elevator before you get off. That's always a Chinese person. That's almost always a Chinese person. Not Asian. Chinese. But that part of their culture you don't have to respect right? No. You have to respect everything. So fine. White culture is appropriating other cultures. That's what we do best. That's what Elvis did. That's what we crush it at. Asian food. Hot dogs. It's all appropriating other people's culture. That's what we do. So you have to respect that in our culture which is taking on your culture. I like it. Yes. I like it because this whole country is a melting pot. It's a melting pot. That's part of what this country. It's a fondue place. That's right. You got to allow us to fondue your culture. You can still use your culture. Right. But we also can use it. Why can't you respect America's culture? Exactly. Our culture is stealing. Exactly. Now you get it. And that's why I'm running for president in 2024. You can't handle me yet. Is Ben Gleib going to be your vice president? Ben Gleib will be my vice president. He'll be my minister of affairs. Nice. Do you think Trump is getting impeached? Is he getting impeached? Jamie, you paying attention to this? I don't know. Do you ever see one where you're just like, I don't even know what you guys are talking about anymore. I don't trust the media where it's shit. Anytime they say something like, I don't know, maybe, boy you cried wolf. Every single thing you're like, guys, you've just riled me up for nothing over and over again. I don't know what any of the truth is. All these people are like, what about this person said this? I'm like, I never even heard of that guy. What about the Steele dossier? Yeah. What the fuck is that? What about, what about, what about Ukraine? I don't know. What about Joe Biden? What about when he did it? What about this tweet? Yeah. There's some fucking shitty tweets. We already got that. It's already on the books. No one's fighting that anymore. Stop it. Stop everything. Cancel everyone. Oh, shut up. All you. Just shut up.