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Jeff Dye is a stand-up comic, actor, and broadcast personality. His YouTube special "The Last Cowboy in LA" premieres on November 14. www.jeffdye.com https://800pgr.lnk.to/cowboy
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the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day
i'm trying to get to that yeah that's the key that's but they're tricking me joe
they're
they're baiting me in with the algorithm these motherfuckers they get me too
they get me in the
morning i was just talking about it with jamie that like are we rolling yeah i
was just talking
about with him is like i'm so good at like not caring what people think sort of
and then i find
no i really care a lot like i'm like in a constant tug of war of that because i
used to have google
alerts on oh no for your name yeah oh yeah and then i had to get rid of that oh
yeah then i was
like i'm gonna check the youtube comments so that's that was a ring that i had
to close i'm slowly
closing the rings the ring i'm stuck in right now is checking what like my
comedy peers are up to you
know that kind of stuff the one they make videos cigar the videos they make of
like uh uh so and so
is is you know having a breakdown or mark maron said this or those kind of like
those rings you know
but i need to close that i want to get i want to have no none of it i want to i
don't want to check
any comments or any anything i'm uh much better at this stuff than i ever have
been in the past of
avoiding most things that are annoying but every now and then one will sneak in
and then why did i
let that sneak in yeah i texted you want to me yeah i texted yeah i was going
hey check this out he
goes don't send me shit like this the ronda rousey one didn't really bother me
okay good i mean
i know what that is yeah you know like she's uh she's a fucking pit bull man
that's uh the type of
human thanks brother you're welcome do you mind if i tell you my opinion of ronda
rousey and you tell
me if i'm right or not good because you know what you're talking about and i am
not a ufc i like i
like ufc but i don't you know you know these things so i've always said like ronda
rousey was a
badass right and was awesome at fighting when there was like 30 girls doing it
in it like
professionally at her level right that's why i said i might be wrong but then
there was probably
all these girls who could really fight all over the world like in japan and
other countries and
even maybe even in america they just weren't in ufc they're like i could
probably beat this chick
and now that there's so many women competing on this level like ronda rousey
probably isn't
in her prime as badass as like the field well it's very difficult to when
someone's a pioneer
she's a legitimate pioneer right it's very difficult to compare them to the
people that have had a chance
to study the pioneers and then advance the sport right so what she was is here
you go
she's a legend i mean i got nothing but love and respect for that lady what she
did was
so impressive she was the first legitimate female superstar she made the ufc
female division
possible if it wasn't for her dana was very open about never having female ufc
fighters it took someone
that was that dynamic that was that special to open his eyes and go you know
what i think this lady's a
star and to be the type like when she said like i wasn't an expert any everyone's
entitled to their
opinion you know but you got to understand why she thinks like that because she's
a fucking she has a
champion mentality you never fought you ain't shit you know it's like it's real
simple the football guys
always do that you didn't play you're like yeah but i studied the sport doesn't
matter you ain't shit
i get it it's totally fine um you can't judge her like compare her to like zhang
weili because like
zhang weili who was the 115 pound champion she had a chance to watch all these
other people learn what
they're doing right what they're doing wrong what's effective what's not
effective what ronda had is
world-class judo world-class bronze medalist in the olympics one of the best
arm bars period in the
sport in the history of sport her fucking arm bar the technique was flawless
there's a fight with her
cat zingano cat zingano launches at her just fucking cat zingano was an animal
charges at her full
ronda catches her in an arm bar in like 13 seconds i don't remember the exact
time it was nuts but it
was perfect perfect technique you know you couldn't fuck with that but then she
fought holly holm and
when she fought holly holm she was dealing with an elite boxer an elite kickboxer
and a very physically
strong woman who had an awesome game plan and who had a chance to study ronda
and maybe more importantly
came from a great camp and that camp jackson winklejohn camp one of the best
camps in the world
john jones came out of that camp holly uh donald cerrone originally came out of
that camp a lot of
great fighters came out of there so they were really good at game planning so
they knew how ronda likes to
clinch they knew how ronda likes to set up her takedowns and they knew you know
what to avoid and
then on top of that holly's just an elite striker so every time ronda tried to
close the distance
the striking that she was very effective with against guys like uh betch cohea
these these fighters that
were a lower tier it's not going to be as effective with someone like holly and
holly started catching
her on the feet and had her rocked and then landed that famous high kick and
put her out well i thought
they were like the same age and same era but like holly's after she was able to
learn from uh i wouldn't
say they're they are the same era but holly you know she had wins and losses
she lost to valentina
shevchenko she lost to some other fighters and but it was stylistically it was
a great matchup for her
because she's an elite striker she's really good at counter striking striking
she's really good at
movement and when ronda has to close that distance every fight starts in the
feet and when you're with
a very physically strong woman who's got good takedown defense and it's good at
like catching you as
you're charging in that was that was the problem in that fight also the problem
in that fight i think
for ronda is when you start becoming really famous then the hyenas show up and
they start offering you
this and offering you that and distracting you with this and distracting you
with that and now you're
going to meetings and you're talking to agents and you're setting up movies and
you're doing this and
you're doing that and all those things take away from the most important thing
which is your fighting
even if they don't take away from the amount of training you do they take away
from your focus
they just they rob you of the bandwidth you know i always tell comics this when
it comes to like
dealing with um haters and things online that you shouldn't read you only have
like think of your mind
as having a number of units of attention think you have a like 100 units of
focus anything that eats
into those units anything that bothers you that annoys you that's useless that
doesn't help you
that's stealing from your 100 you know so now you only have 80 units or 70
units of focus because 30 of
it is concentrated on bullshit it will it'll rob you of what makes you great so
there was two factors
there was the skill of holly the fact that she had all this opportunity to
study ronda and with a great
team and devise a game plan and then there's also the stealing of focus you
know ronda i was one of
the biggest champions of her as a fighter as a as a like a legitimate pioneer
and a star there was first it
was gina carano and chris cyborg to a certain extent but cyborg had an asterisk
because everybody knew
she was roided up and then it was ronda but ronda eclipsed all of them she's
bigger than all
them i was a huge supporter and still am but when you watch a fight and you're
watching you get your
ass kicked and the other person is talking about how great the other person is
doing and how bad
you're doing that doesn't sit well with a lot of people especially like someone
who's got that kind
of champion mentality that fucking pit pull mentality like i thought you were
with me fuck you yeah and
then it was after the fight i was very public about saying i don't think she
should fight for a long time
they were talking about doing an immediate rematch and i was like that's crazy
like they were talking
about doing a rematch in four months or something like that i was like when you
get head kicked into
the shadow realm you're supposed to take a long time off when manny pacquiao
got knocked out by
juan manuel marquez it was a fucking picture perfect right hand who knocked
that knocked manny pacquiao
out his coach freddie roach said you can't fight for a year i don't want you
doing anything for a year
for one year because you got to heal up from something like that it's it's bad
when you get knocked
unconscious it's not just that you'll be a touch gun shy which is possible but
also that you're more
vulnerable to getting hit and then you could ruin your chin forever like if you
get knocked out
there's certain fighters that used to have iron chins like chuck o'dell is one
of the greatest
examples of that he had an iron chin you could hit that dude with a fucking sledgehammer
and he would
just keep swinging at you and then eventually it got to the point where he
would get clipped and he would
just go out and it wasn't him it was his his his brain was broken it was like
it was too many times too
many shots too many too many knockouts too many impacts you got to preserve
that you got to be
very careful with that you got to take a long time off and then there was the
amanda nunez fight
so the amanda nunez fight i was also very vocal that everybody was putting all
of the attention in the
promotion on ronda making this huge comeback and if you watch the promos for
that fight i thought
they were crazy disrespectful because the promos and obviously look ronda was a
fucking huge star a much bigger star than amanda nunez and that loss was a
shocking upset to a lot
of people that didn't understand martial arts and didn't think that holly had a
chance didn't think
anybody had a chance she's going to beat everybody forever but all the promo
was ronda coming back
all of it was like she's coming back to take what's hers it was ronda in a
mansion looking out it was like
the worst yeah promo set like ronda in a mansion looking out the window saying
i'm gonna go get my
title i don't know who made that i don't know what it was but i remember being
backstage the day of the
fight and there was all these agents mulling around all these hollywood twats
and this guy was like
i forget his exact words they were talking he didn't know who ronda was
fighting and he said who
i don't know what her name is but whoever it is it's her funeral that's what he
said i was like oh my
god like these are the people meanwhile amanda nunez was the scariest person at
135 and that's what i
had said before she fought holly holm i mean like dana and i talked about i
said i think amanda's the
scariest title challenger because she can flatline chicks with one punch she's
very different than
all the other ones she wound up flatlining chris cyborg it was a crazy fight
she beats the
fuck out of everybody she hits so hard like way harder than most women and i
was like that's a
dangerous fucking opponent and they're making it seem like this is all about
the ronda comeback
when amanda was the champion so holly had beaten ronda misha tate had beaten holly
and then amanda had
beaten misha tate so amanda was the fucking champion but all the promotion was
all about ronda and then
they're trying to do like pro wrestling like i don't know what they were doing
come back i think you
know they were just selling the fight they were selling it and the best way to
sell it is i guess
that way it was more famous but it's disrespectful to the champion especially a
fucking dangerous champion and if she if the champion wins which i thought she
was going to win
it sets up but it's not good to set her up like you should set her up like how
fucking dangerous she is now you got a bigger star obviously she wound up being
a bigger star
and amanda's the greatest of all time like widely considered to be the greatest
mixed martial arts
female fighter in history because she fucks everybody up she's just so
dangerous um so and
then that fight happens and then that lady takes ronda out in the first round
just beats the the piss out of
her just stops her standing just it was brutal you know i never had a bad thing
to say about ronda i
still don't i understand her mentality i mean she's a champion minded person
like she's like you're
fucking with me or against me it's me against the world you know she doesn't
have a chip on her
shoulder she's got a forest she's got a whole forest on her shoulder well you
know what i mean like but
that's why she was so good and we're lucky she's a woman if that lady was a man
she'd be genghis khan
okay she'd fucking take over the world she's an animal it's scary so that's why
she has that opinion
that's just how she thinks about things i was mad at her just as an everyday
man because my nieces
love any woman that's famous for any reason you know and my nieces also aren't
experts about ufc
they're little girls and they just think it's cool that a woman's a badass you
know they like that kind
of stuff and so then when she lost to like you know be on tick tock i mean
actually people made
tick tocks of it it's not like ronda rousey was on tick tock but like she was
like on ellen being
like i just wanted to quit and i saw my man and i just realized i want to have
babies and i was like
this is not really the message you know if if you lose to just go be a pro
wrestler or have babies
like that's not like i don't know i felt like it was a strange way for a
champion to talk yeah but that's
that's her legitimately as a human being that's what she wanted and there's
there comes a time
that's good no that would be a fine way to frame it well she was being honest
she wanted to have
babies she didn't want to do it anymore and that there comes a time where look
every fighter can
only red line for so long and the reality of fighting is you're redlining what
does that mean
you know what a red line when the engine you know when your tachometer reaches
like 8 000 rpm
it's like right you can only do that for so long or your engine blows but to be
in peak physical
condition to be able to fight in a championship fight you essentially have to
red line your body
through camp you have to get your body to a place where it's at a rate you can't
maintain fight shape
it's not possible you get to a certain part you peak and then the last week you
kind of drop off so
that you can recover and so that saturday night when saturday night rolls up
and the lights go on
in madison square garden you are as ready as a human being can get but you can't
maintain that
and you can't do that forever this is only and they think that there's a theory
amongst uh mixed martial
arts commentators and experts and what have you that is about nine years nine
years is all that's
possible to compete at a peak level and then you get a drop off some people
have more longevity than
others it varies some people it's a much shorter reign and you got to kind of
look at who they were
when they were at the top you can you can only look at them when they're at
that peak like guys like
anderson silva he gets gets kind of dismissed because later in his life the
performances weren't
the same they weren't elite performances but i say that's just human you got to
look at him when he
was the champion he was one of the most elite guys that's ever competed in the
sport period he's one
of the greatest of all time but you can only you got to look at when he was in
his prime sure you
you know and there's only a certain amount of time you can do that and then
when a fighter doesn't
want to do that and only that anymore you got to get out you got to get out
because there's some
fucking 20 year old mike tyson out there there's some animal there's some dude
that lives breathes
sleeps fighting and they all they want to do is land shots and take you out
they just they that's their
whole focus in life they don't give a fuck about relationships they don't give
a fuck about where
they live they don't give a fuck about anything just winning and that's how you
become a world
champion that's how you become elite you can only maintain it for so long it's
not a normal way for
a human being to exist it's very it's a very strange way to live yeah you know
and for her it's natural
like she's a woman she's like i want to have babies i have this great man and
yeah and she's married
to travis brown who's also a beast who is a elite ufc heavyweight top 10 heavyweight
you know she's
like i'm done i'm gonna make some warrior kids i get it i saw it i was like
what the hell is that
man she just didn't want to beat up no no no now my nieces root for holly home
good lady yeah holly
home's nice she is nice yeah yeah that's what we like we like the winners who
are nice yeah i get it
but there's something about ronda being ronda that made the sport what it is
but i root for luke
skywalker not darth vader she's not sure darth vader's cooler and he's probably
more strong he's
got the thing you know but you know luke's the good guy and i like the good guy
she's i root for
the good guy she's not a bad guy she's you know like look her mother was a
badass her mother was a
elite judo competitor actually i hate disagreeing with you joe but she's she
went to wrestling ronda and
then she said all these terrible things about the wrestlers she said terrible
things about you who
i love she didn't say anything terrible about me she said you're not an expert
that's all she said
that's also that's not terrible that's just an opinion seems mean to me no no
no that's all
look if i was a pussy it would be mean well i'm a pussy i'm defending you that's
what i'm doing
if i was like that's what we do dude that's my whole identity i uh you know she
she's kind of a
grumpy gnarly warrior and warriors can be a little prickly she's definitely
prickly yeah that's all but
that's why she was awesome you know that's what made her great it was what made
her great she broke
that door wide open and all the women that came afterwards follow and it's hard
for women to become
famous in in mma because it's hard for them to have the kind of spectacular
results that men have they
generally don't have as much power and unless they're like elite at judo or
something like that
like she was where they get arm bars and finish people quickly but that's what
everybody likes
everybody likes dominance and i want them to be hot that helps that's a good
one but it's hard to
mix those worlds yeah you get nisha warrior her holly there's only a few of
them that were like really
hot and elite in the old days they weren't looking at the battle lines and they're
going i wish these
warriors had more tits like that's what i'm like a very conflicted person i
wanted to be badass but
also hot yeah and crazy to get both of them this episode is brought to you by
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located in orange county
california they're they're also going to be super crazy yeah for sure
especially while they're fighting
you know it's like you don't really want that in your life it's like no way you
know what it's like
it's like a muscle car like muscle cars are great to drive but you don't want
to take them on a road
truck dude shabby took me too so i have a great lakers hookup right i look i go
to all the lakers
games and uh i invited brandon job when we first became friends i said you want
to come to lakers
game with me you'll like it we we sit we have great seats we'll put you in the
back we'll meet
the owner it'll be great so that's what my only kind of flex you know that can
bring people to these
kind of things i don't have a lot to offer but i can offer that so he's like
yeah i'll pick you up
and he comes to my house brandon shop comes to my house like in a race car i
mean this thing is
it's got the big spoiler on the back also we're both we're both big guys i'm
six four he's i don't
know how tall he is but he's taller than me and we're in this tiny thing in
traffic on the one-on-one
going to a lakers game and we can barely talk we're both talkers you know and
it's like
the whole time and i was just like what halfway through the drive as even
though we were like new
friends at the time like what made you pick this car you have other cars and he
goes well you're like
a little kid and my son loves this car so i just i picked it because of you you're
like a little
kid that's hilarious and he was right because when he pulled up i was like oh
this is awesome but then
i got in and i was like bro we're not built for this thing it's tiny yeah but
that's not like your
analogy like that's not a day-to-day no that's not a road trip car you want to
be in a cadillac you
know it'll be something that's quiet and real smooth and handles bumps well
exactly like a person right
yeah someone yeah like you want comfortable you want a one-night stand you want
a muscle car
you want a long-term relationship get a lexus and if you go to the lakers game
bring a goddamn suv or
something something unreal we're in traffic bring something quiet with good air
conditioning his
thought his heart was in the right place and he was completely right what car
was it you know i don't
know what it was like uh i'm i wouldn't even be able to guess you don't cool
though you're not into
cars i love cars but i like the cars i like i've always loved big stupid things
like i love like uh big
military vehicles have you seen his hummer yeah love all that stuff yeah he's
got a a real hummer
with like a crazy diesel turbocharged engine last time i was here and i did his
podcast he had this
huge bronco that he was like doing some thing reselling it like enough people
buy tickets for
it or something like that oh yeah that truck was a beautiful truck and i like
like that's what i like
is like big stupid tires anything in mad max i loved anything the military
drives i was like can i buy
that they're like no this is it's not built for that you can buy a lot of
things those yeah but
they're like they gotta go to those auctions and shit yeah you just gotta know
people you get a lot
of things these days i would love that yeah there's some crazy i've never owned
anything that fits in my
garage no no i have to park on the street all the time i had to get rid of my
last jeep because i put
like 46 inch tires on it and i lifted it up and like it has no doors and no top
and um so it's just
parked in sherman oaks on the street and i'm on the road so much and it's just
sitting there
just sitting there so i come back there'd be you know just like someone would
walk by with like a
soda and just throw it in there you know because you know they don't care they
get mad at you right
why do you what a douche yeah and where i am it's not popular to have cool big
shit like that right
german oaks is popular to have a prius with a coexist bumper sticker it's so
annoying i have a cyber truck
and uh i you can't really lift it but since it has an air suspension right you
can buy pins that make
the air suspension one inch larger than whatever it's adjusting to because if
you put a lift on it the the
it's gonna screw it all up so anyways long story short i have a lifted cyber
truck with big stupid
tires on it and i drive into the comedy store parking lot and i'm like this
really isn't helping my
reputation every time i roll in everyone's like what is that it used to be that
if you had a tesla you
were you were signaling that you were a left-wing person 100 you know you're
environmentally conscious
worried about carbon yeah that that was the one of the more crazy shifts and we
could come up with a
thousand of these but like evs used to be considered like this great thing you're
doing well they still
are unless it's a cyber truck unless it's a tesla i get flipped off every day
really in my
cyber truck yeah every day there's a video of this lady in new jersey she gets
out of a cyber truck
just gets out she was a passenger and this lady who's walking her dog goes how
does it feel to be
racist and she's like what are you she's like what are you talking about she
got a ride she wasn't
even driving oh someone dropped her off she's like what are you talking about
yeah you're racist you're
in a cyber truck you're racist and she's like what the fuck is wrong with you
you're you're crazy it
blows my mind well people are always looking for every possible opportunity to
be a shithead and if
they can be a shithead if they're justified in being a shithead because they
disagree with you
they would be the meanest motherfuckers just to be a shithead and that activity
happens
primarily on the left primarily like you don't see that from the right like if
someone pulls up
in a prius with a coexist bumper sticker you don't see a bunch of guys going
hey you
fucking pussy yeah exactly what are you supporting fucking iraq we get out of
our town isis with your
fucking yeah bullshit fucking bumper sticker on your shit back car it has it
feel to be an isis
supporter you don't get that ever but you get that from the left and i don't i
think it's the trump
thing i think trump was such a figure is such a figure of like an attack vector
that they look at him
like it's fun for them yeah it's fun they have an enemy it occupies their brain
at all times they
have an enemy yeah yeah like jimmy kimmel's wife was doing some podcast
recently jimmy and the wife
and the wife was saying that she has a hard time talking to her relatives
because they voted for
trump she says like if you vote for trump you're voting against my yeah you're
voting against my husband
and my family like what are you talking about well i think that that's the big
psyop they've made
everything racial yeah everything is racial and so the last thing you want to
be called is a racist
right so when you make it as simple as race like just racial like just that
blanketly simple then
anything another color does you'd be considered so you go oh i don't really
believe or i think muslims
are blank whatever that sentence is you go racist and you go well there's
surely some things we could
criticize about uh maybe north korea they go oh you're racist so it's like it's
because it's so
simple and it's so vague and people love to keep vague things yeah because then
they can make their
i saw a comedian i won't say her name because i can't pronounce it but it's
that's why i won't
say it not because i'm holding back names uh marylyn reishgib or ricegib or
whatever her name is
i know marylyn yeah she used to be really nice to me and then she used to be
yeah she
she got caught talking about me and i dm'd her immediately and then she's like
and uh you know
i think she's a nice person she's a very nice person yeah she's nice and um
people get caught
up in that i saw her do a bit the other night uh in the lab where she was like
that she was like
i'm texting with this guy and he said uh she said how are you and he said oh i'm
just really sad
today about charlie about charlie kirk and and then she goes and my hand was
like my phone was on
fire i was like oh like what and then the crowd laughed to her defense like the
the lab at the
improv thought this was a hilarious premise and then she said um she was like
uh what part of his
ideas did you find so uh gripping what was it his racist she just started
launching into like about
how like the fact that a guy she liked would be sad about charlie kirk's
assassination was the
biggest turnoff to her that she wrote like a whole bit about it and i was just
in my mind i was like
i can't believe that this is her take i can't believe it's a take that the
crowd is on board with
and i can't believe i'm in this town uh anymore like i was like a moment for me
where i was like
what am i am i insane no like that's what makes me those are the moments where
you go i think i'm
the crazy person there's a room full of people here who agree that charlie kirk
must have been this
terrible thing and hence deserves being publicly assassinated and if you feel
sad about it you're
gross to her and she wants to throw her phone away and she wants to go oh and
that's hilarious to
everyone wow because the simple vagueness of race you know it's like this this
this constant obsession
with you know you you have to agree with a socialist mayor in new york or you
must be a racist or islam
folk they've just made it so vague that it's very easy to always label her or
put things in things in a
kind of thing well there's there's certainly cult-like thinking involved in
both the right and
the left there's that's it's a real problem with people that identify with any
political ideology
whether they're identifies being a conservative or identifies being a liberal
it's a real problem
because then you lose all your objective thinking and you have to agree with
everything that this side
supports and generally that's never a good thing to just agree with like a swath
of predetermined ideas
yeah and one is that public assassinations are okay and and that they're not
sad they're sad no matter
who it is and i would say even if charlie kirk was a terrible person even if he
was which he was not
i knew him and he was not uh but even if he was let's say they're right about
all those things
you're happy that he got shot now the correct way to handle someone who has bad
ideas is to confront
them with better ideas it's not a 30-odd six round to the neck right publicly
where people are cheering
that's crazy and they kept it vague they keep it vague that's how it always
works it's like well i go well
why don't why are you why are you posting on um social media that you that you're
happy about it
or that you're not sad about it just tell me simply why why you think that and
they go well because his
ideas were dangerous super vague didn't say the ideas didn't say how they're
dangerous or why they're
dangerous it's always vague well there's also a problem with clips when you
take sound bites like
very short clips out of context of what someone's saying and then you highlight
that one particular
sentence and the way they said that sentence you could frame someone in a very
different way than
who they really are and i think there was some problems with some of the things
that charlie said
the way he said them and in the fact that you could take it as a clip and one
of them was
the idea of dei pilots like the idea of any lowering of standards of anyone in
a really important job like
a pilot because a person is blank fill in the blank because they're a lesbian
or because they're gay or
because they're white or because they're chinese or because they're black or
whatever it is if you're
lowering standards because you want more people of one thing well you've just
made the skies a little
more dangerous you've made a very dangerous thing which is flying a little more
dangerous so his statement
was because they're doing this and they're trying to get they're using dei to
hire people and when i
get on a plane and i see a black pilot i hope that they're qualified or he
wonders yeah he said i don't
want i hate that when i see a black pilot my mind thinks i wonder if they were
part of a dei hiring correct
right that's it's a problem in the way he said it right instead of saying that
that way because
what one of the things that i pointed out is that what dei especially in
regards to education the
people that discriminates the most against like people say it's a white supremacist
idea to uh to be
against dei the people that dei discriminates the most against in education is
asians because asians
fucking kill it in universities they kill it so much so that there was a giant
lawsuit at harvard
because they were making their admission standards more difficult for asian
people
than they were for white people for black people for everybody else they made
asians more difficult
because if they didn't half of their fucking population in their classes would
be asian because
they work harder it's a cultural thing you know i grew up in taekwondo and i
grew up around a lot of koreans
and man you haven't seen worth ethic until you've seen first generation koreans
who come over to america
and you know they have those tiger moms and tiger dads that's a real thing that's
good that is a
fuck i guess well i mean for these sort of subjects it's good for getting
things great for trauma
and not great for those things right but if we're talking about the workforce
or symphony if we're if
it's just a meritocracy if it's just a meritocracy it's like who is the best
student who is the best
this who's the best that yeah it's good for that you know but it's like it's
the same thing it was
like trying to be a champion like you can only red line for so long before you
go fucking crazy and the the
lack of balance between pleasure and and struggle and discipline and fun you
have to balance if you
want to have a good life and ultimately you're supposed to be enjoying your
life i don't think
you could truly enjoy your life without some measure of discipline i think
discipline is important it's
the reason why you can enjoy the relaxing moments because you earn them you
have to earn them and but
i do think you should have them too and when i was around a lot of korean guys
like my friend junk
sick i've talked about him before but he was a national champion when we were
kids he was not as
talented as other people he wasn't as fast he wasn't he didn't have any unusual
genetic gifts that some
people had but that motherfucker worked so hard he was in residency okay so he
was in medical school
while he was on the national team so he would go to school all day and for
workouts sometimes he would
take all his books put him in his backpack and run upstairs at the school just
run upstairs at the
university and that's how he'd get his some of his cardio in and then he would
come to the gym and he
would be you know he'd come to the gym for nighttime training we train at like
six o'clock at night
seven o'clock at night and he would be just drained but he would just dig in
and and get to it man
and it was just it's that mentality is why asians do so well in school right it's
like this pushing
from their parents the high pressure and again i don't think it's so good for
you psychologically
i don't do that with my kids my kids do very well in school but they do very
well in school because
of the example that i and my wife set of be a nice person work really hard have
discipline do the stuff
you're supposed to do don't off you know get get the things done that you're
supposed to do
the but would they be able to compete with some kid who just came over here
from china i don't know
which is why the countries like america so much is because they realize oh if i
work as hard as i
can maybe in wherever they live yes you know india or some of these other
places it's not a promise
that they'll succeed and but they love a capitalistic america where i'm like
yeah if i put in the work
and my kids put in the work and i force my kids to put in the work it'll work
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that's better h e l p dot
com slash j r e this is where you see the hypocrisy of the education system
though because they claim to be
all about diversity asians are part of diversity they're a small percentage of
the population in america
but they're fucking killing it so they tried to hold them back right because it's
bullshit that's a problem
because in their mind asians don't complain as much they're they're they get to
work more they're not
the ones that are out there organizing signs and making signs they're not doing
that they're
fucking working they don't have time to be going to these rallies and cheering
and chanting they
fucking get to work so because of that they're not as represented when it comes
to like grievances
so they they you know you can get away with being racist against them right and
you can get away with
discriminating against them in higher education universities like harvard which
is just crazy
because it shows you're lying you're not really caring about minorities you're
caring about very specific
minorities because they give you social clout to represent and to to fight for
them like if you're
fighting for black people if you're fighting for trans people those are the
people that are really noisy
right and really loud and if you're on their side good if you defend you're
virtuous yeah exactly that's
that's what it is it's performative i think about it every week almost it
sounds strange but like it can
these kind of things consume me i don't have a wife and kids you know like i
think about these things
all day but like i think about it with um like in our in our business you know
like there are so many
women who complain like oh no girls on the lineup or only two girls on the line
and i'm like there's
less of you that's all it is in fact the fact that there's less of you in our
industry is why you're
able to stand out and succeed so much quicker than your male counterparts so
yes it can feel like a
boys club because it is there's plenty of disadvantages to being a female
comedian like
putting up with these comedy club owners or working the road or like it is
their fans being creepy with
creepy fans they're different like 100 and i'm sympathetic to the things female
comics have to go
through but if they just don't understand the numbers like there's there's
girls in los angeles
who are regulars at the improv and the laugh factory and the comedy store who
have been doing it a few
years and then there's guys that i know that have been doing it 15 years who us
you know subjectively
are very very funny uh and uh subjectively funnier than them but at least inarguably
funny and they
they can't get any spots at these places because that we need more women comics
i mean we need more
diverse lineups they've literally said that we have too many white male comics
i've heard it my whole
career it's crazy yeah one time to say i was in boston and uh there was this
long line for this
festival and all this thing a little bit not uh it was to submit like to do
audition they were it was
during last comic standing times so they were doing these things where they
liked filming the line
and going look how many people are here to try out for our festival or whatever
and um someone came
out and goes listen if you're a straight white guy you better be real different
and all of us just cut
because boston we're all straight white guys and i just remember being like
well that kind of hurt my
feelings a little bit like what like what does that imply i don't know i only
know about my
circumstances stupid i can't have i can't one time my agent said this to me he
was talking
at bragging about one of his clients and he was like jeff listen man like you
know i got this one
client he's handsome he's uh his parents are deaf you know he's uh he's black
he's got all these great
things that make him very industry interesting for the industry i think you're
gonna have to like
reinvent yourself or something i was like i can't make things up like i don't
know what to tell you
that's just i'm a white guy just hollywood yeah and hollywood's influence with
the long tentacles
of the octopus but we don't do that in texas like in in the mothership it's a
meritocracy and because
it's a meritocracy it's very diverse yeah you got a lot of women on the lineup
you got a lot of
all kinds of people a lot of gay people and the one thing that people keep
saying about the the
comedy mothership is oh it's right-wing comedy club the vast majority of comics
at my club
are left-wing the vast majority yeah no i can i can they're artists personally
vouch for that yeah
yeah but they're reasonable lefties yeah they're kind people who can sit in a
room with a comic who
doesn't agree with their politics and still just be human that's that's a great
we should all aspire to
that yeah and that's what we aspire to at that club like we don't tolerate any
bullshit ideologically one side or the other it's not supposed to be about that
it's supposed to be
about the art form and you know there's like a lot of my fucking friends are
like far left i don't
care are you nice are you cool do you have interesting thoughts can we have
conversations i'm down with
that but there's this propensity this thing that people do where they just
decide you're you have a different
ideology than me so you're the enemy and i think that is one of the stupidest
things you could do
as a human being it's weak it's it's simple it's you're you're doing something
that's just too
convenient it and you're doing it because you know it'll be supported by a
bunch of other
fucking morons because we're in a tick-tock generation where most people don't
have nuanced
perspectives on things yeah like i am a christian right i've been a christian
since i was in my young
20s i talk about it in my act i talk about it in my life and guess what i have
never once crashed out
because of my seattle comedian friends going on stage and calling christians
idiots or racists
or fools or dummies i've never once gone i can't share a green room with
someone who would espouse
that type of hatred towards my faith right never once i've heard every joke
about straight white males
i've heard every and i'm nice and i can get laughs and i'm pleasant to be
around in these comedy clubs
but that's why you're doing well right and i'm now and i am but you're doing
well because you became
undeniable yeah and that's the real meritocracy aspect of comedy is that if you
kill if the audience
laughs and people keep coming to see you you have an audience right and the one
thing that drives a
lot of people crazy is they've i've done all the right things and no one comes
to see me yeah because
you forgot the one thing you might have been doing the wrong you forgot the one
thing be funny that's
it you fell into all the easy stuff all the easy stuff is align yourself with
the group all the group
think all the fucking chant all the right stuff say all the right things say
things that don't even
make sense right but so that you appear well that's what i'm saying is that
like that's the mark
the second i got passed at the comedy store multiple comics went to the to the
booker and
was like he shouldn't be here dude he does jokes about gay people and he does
jokes about yes yeah
yeah i do guess what and they kill and i get laughs and i'm but again i'm you
can still come up to me
and talk to me and like i'm i'm not i i like everybody i like trans people i
have a plenty of gay
friends i i i you know you might have jokes about straight people too though
and you are one of
them that's the thing it's also fun to be naughty isn't it yeah yeah i love
women but i trash them
pretty hard in my act you know and so the only reason i was bringing all that
up is that like
i feel like i've never once gone i can't talk to someone because of their stand-up
comedy i'm not
going to go to the improv and go mary lynn reiskib shouldn't be allowed here
because what she said
about charlie kirk and i was offended i bet if you had a conversation with her
about an actual
conversation it would be very reasonable yeah because people are people and we
should be able
to share these spaces with these people no matter what we think i'm not so far
right or so far
christian that i go i can't be in the same room that's what cult people think
also if you had a
conversation with her and confronted her with the reality of what that guy had
said right and some
of the conversations that he had with both trans people people of color all
kinds he was a very
kind person 100 the problem is you don't look kind when there's clips and the
clips show which
saying something aren't you afraid of that yeah oh yeah you listen i'm kind of
a little bit
inoculated against that because i have so many hours of me talking so does he
yeah but in a different way where people are listening to me having these three-hour
conversations
it's like it's kind of hard to label me to anybody who's paying attention and
it's just the it's also
the the benefit of having the biggest platform in the world right like it's
like there's enough people
that have seen so many shows that like i know who that guy is that's not who
that guy is
i think you're giving them a lot of uh grace because you have to i because like
people aren't you afraid
of ai no not afraid of ai what i'm afraid of is clips short context things even
recently i did howie
mandel's podcast and i got asked for the millionth time about the mark marron
thing and and i was like
what dude the the good part of that mark marron story is that we buried it i i
think who knows it'll
rear its head again i'm sure not with that guy there's no burying anything i
know but like i was
like how about that story tell that story howie that we shook hands at the
comedy store and we're
able to share a stage and not stage we share the the a room full of stages and
um it just howie's
howie mandel's team just posted the thing so you know all the comments are like
jeff die i can't
stop talking about mark marron again and like that's what i'm saying is that
charlie kirk's guilty of
or not guilty of it but a victim of it um this this short real thing that is
out of context it's not a
three-hour conversation no one's listening to trump in long form no one
listened to charlie
kirk in long form the people that were informed did but i'm saying them the the
everyday person
is kind of just kind of collecting these excerpts right and then forming a
group think about those
excerpts and the group think becomes their reality that's very true and i'm
afraid of that for you
yeah that there's that's true in some ways but it's also benefits you in some
ways too it's like
there's good and bad like there's little things that you'll say that are funny
that make it into clips
and that's good too it's like the thing like i was talking to tony about this
because we were talking
about people that complain about his show and talk about a show i go dude they
work for you they don't
realize it but they work for you they're the publicity arm the negative
publicity arm for the kill tony
show you don't worry about it and don't care yeah you can't you know write a
book on that it's teach
me how to not care you just got to get to a point where you don't have to care
anymore like it's not
going to affect you you know what i mean like but that's if you but you if you're
in that position
where i'm in that kind of sort of you're not totally ever in that position but
you're much
more in that position than the average person it's your duty to not care it's
your duty to set an
example and to say look you're supposed to be when you get to the top you're
not supposed to be
mean and like defend it and push everybody down you're supposed to lift
everybody up and be what you
would hope the guy at the top would be be supportive try to help other people's
careers
try to promote them tell everybody how cool they are tell everybody how funny
they are tell everybody
good things that you know instead of complaining all the time about about
everything find cool
shit and inform people about it tell people cool that you've seen cool
restaurants you've been
to cool music you've listened to cool people you met do that that's what i try
to do and that that's
my i that is my obligation i think as in having the top podcast you have to set
an example that's
beneficial for not just me but for everybody sure yeah this and don't care and
don't care as much
don't care as much about haters if you're gonna have haters the idea that you're
not gonna have
people that hate you is crazy fucking you could get like the one of the things
that i know from mma
the greatest fighters the best guys in their prime there's gonna be guys coming
up that say he ain't
shit i'll fuck him up i'll take him out in one round it's all there's always
that he's got no defense
he's got no chin he's got no heart he's only good when he's winning as soon as
it gets turned on him
he's gonna fold there's always someone talking and if you live your life
constantly responding to those
people it's it's a waste of that 100 that 100 units of attention and focus that
you have
you gotta protect that yeah you gotta guard that 100 units man don't let
anybody steal your units with
a comment on youtube and it's never in real life for me right it's never in
real life well that's the
problem i have to open this shit yeah before i spiral out even in my town of
los angeles you know
people go why you had this fucking dump and then i uh and then i i'm walking
around in sherman oaks
i've got my coffee i'm seeing dogs i'm seeing hot chicks and my barista's like
hey what's up jeff
like i have friends beautiful weather yeah wherever i go like because i go to
the same spots and i never
i talk to everyone so like i've accumulated all these people who go oh we know
that community's the best or
whatever like in my little community but then i turn on my phone you know you
see this old bomb
baba do me guy he's a muslim he's gonna ruin new york and then i start going
yeah yeah what the
hell's going on with this i think new york is due for a little socialist wake-up
call oh yeah they'll
they'll wake up these things they're gonna have five thousand police officers
have threatened to resign
don't you think new york is that true is that true find out that number's true
because
here's the problem with those kind of things it's like right-wing people post
stuff like that
and you're like is that real you know are they really gonna defund the police
are they really
gonna you know i am buying a house here are you in texas yep yeehaw yeah like
about uh 30 40 minutes
from here nice yeah you're already locked on it no but i'm shopping for houses
on wednesday oh tomorrow
wednesday i got a good lady if you need if you need one she's the best i have a
chick who's pretty
good she's like the number one in arizona she's arizona's not texas i know but
she has all these
contacts also i just know her okay so that okay it's good to be loyal yeah and
um she found a bunch
of good stuff uh yeah about 40 minutes from here well that's good too 40
minutes from here out like
tripping springs area it's quiet that's what i want i want you go at night you
hear oh i want to go to a
lake you know be able to like i'm kind of in this kind of la thing and this i'm
i could be guilty of of
being a victim of like what i'm absorbing in my algorithm but like gavin newsom
scares the
shit out of me and i i'm i'm i don't want to be a part of it yeah he wants to
run the whole country
too it's wild pretty wild and those fires were quite a wake-up call for even if
you know whatever you
believe about the fires the way it was dealt with was pretty scary it was not
competent that's for sure
even the aftermath yeah and was not competent the the conversations about
talking to
different developers about doing stuff with the land and that's what i'm
talking about it's like
what do you oh we'll make a smart town you're like that's kind of what the
conspiracy people were saying
before this stuff happened see when he's doing a little dance in front of burnt
houses like that is
are you uh sociopath because that's how sociopaths behave they're not like
totally broken up by the
fact that a giant chunk of your city burnt to the ground did 5 000 peace people
resign i don't think
they say they threatened to resign there's no credible evidence that 5 000
peace officers resigned
okay why don't you say did they threaten to resign i did when i typed it in
google and i got the same
answers oh okay um in perplexity it says did 5 000 people resign no what
actually happened official data
and statements from nypd representatives confirmed there has been no mass walkout
while police union
leaders and some critics have warned of potential wave of resignations or
feared attrition see that was
the thing social media posts alleging 5 000 officers i didn't see any that said
resign i said i saw something
that said are threatening to resign uh go back to where i was reading um at
once have been debunked
as rumors or satire nypd has about 30 33 745 uniformed officers as of late 2025
with staffing down only
slightly from the previous year so it's like maybe it's one of those things
where someone talked to some
people and they said i know a lot of guys right a lot of guys are threatening
to resign well i mean that's
a serious thing to talk about anyways whether it's true or not on the numbers
like it's not a fun
time to be a police officer for the last like like pre-black lives matter i
knew i've i know a lot of
cops just in my life i used to perform once a year for their like christmas
thing at the lapd great
audience members you want to talk about good audience members police military
nurses anyone who deals
with real life is very good audience members they can take a joke yeah oh great
taking jokes and they need
to see the humor in life you know like they're like they're looking for a clown
to laugh at because they
deal with real shit but uh that aside
in the last eight years when cops tell me they're cops at shows it's like hey
you know i'm uh i'm a
police like and i'm like what's with this embarrassment like why are you why do
you feel like you need to be
like an undercover police officer when you're like whisper it yeah why i like
cops i think that they're
great they have to go into someone's worst day of their life every day anytime
you've ever had to call
a cop it's not a great day it's not a great thing that's happening and they
have to enter someone's
worst day every 15 minutes or every hour and i have a tremendous amount of
respect for people that do
that and they they feel they feel ashamed to be a cop because they've been vaguely
blanketed as like
oppressors or racist or some sort of power hungry bad guys and that's probably
a little worse in nypd
right now as far as uh being in the city with what's going on so i imagine
there's a lot of
people who are threatening the same way whenever someone's president isn't the
president they want
they go i'm gonna move they make those kind of some people do move yeah some
people do a lot of rich
guys are really getting out of i respect rosie and ellen for that don't you
respect that every
celebrity says they're gonna leave well it's dumb that they left because now
they just can't vote and
now that you're living in ireland but at least they said what they were gonna
do you're living in
england and then your neighbors in england don't like you because they're like
yeah exactly well
that's true but at least they left move to a new place in england hundreds of
celebrities said they
would leave and didn't that's true yeah there's always a lot of that a lot of
people said they're
going to move to canada great good luck with that well now you're just america
light well you're
america communist now canada's nuts but now you're like still reliant on america
i know sad that i
wanted to look up that i just read i put this into perplexity one out of 20
deaths last year
i read this article that was saying was assisted suicide that can't be true
that can't be true
where'd you see it because aquino canada has an assisted suicide program a
national assisted
suicide program yeah could you imagine if there's some corruption in that holy
crap there's corruption in
everything jeff everything every that's a bad thing there's corruption in
religion there's right
there's corruption in science there's corruption in medicine which becomes a
great excuse to not
be a part of those things you know oh i won't even question if i was if i have
a creator because
there's fouled people in the church you're like that's so stupid well yeah um
it's accurate for
canada wow no one in 20 america canada just yeah it's canada yeah put let me
see that's still a lot
in it put those show so the perplexity look at this this is crazy medical
assistance in dying known as
made also as known as assisted suicide or euthanasia accounted for
approximately 4.7 percent of all
deaths in canada that's wild that is so crazy how do we get more specific like
what would be an example
of like we'll read into it this proportion is equivalent to about one in 20
deaths across the
country that is so fucking insane one out of 20 people who die in canada are
getting assisted
suicide how many of those fucking people you could have given mushrooms to they
could have had an
ibogaine journey maybe they could have fucking done something differently with
their life to get
them out of depression how many of them could could have gotten alternative
medical treatments that have
dealt with their condition so what are the conditions is it's did you put that
in there
average age of them is 70 77 so they're old yeah that is old but however you
know my mom's 80 she's
great you know like what what's going on yeah she doesn't want to like what but
what is it are you
not just because you're 77 are you not enjoying life or is it is it one out of
20 people are dying of a
terminal illness and i am being short-sighted because i'm not think i'm they're
like going to die soon
anyway they choose to die on their own is that the case track one is natural
death is reasonably
foreseeable and track two is not reasonably foreseeable for natural death right
um so track
two recipients this is where it gets weird because some of them were chronically
obese some of them
were chronically depressed they were doing it for people that don't really have
a disease
so what are the parameters let's let's put this ask a follow-up what do you
have to have wrong with you
to qualified for made in canada let's just ask that how do you qualify because
if it's just you're
depressed that's scary that's crazy right and then very irresponsible if you
have cancer and they're
trying to just like i'm done with my fight please help me right is what track
one is that we're talking
about track two be at least 18 years old and capable of making health care
decisions
be eligible for publicly funded health service okay that's normal voluntary
request informed
consent have a serious and incurable illness disease or disability causing
enduring and intolerable
suffering that cannot be alleviated under conditions acceptable to the person
but that's the key word
the key phrase there acceptable to the person is interesting be an advanced
state of irreversible
decline and capability okay um are people with depression just write severe are
people with severe
depression eligible for made write that
severe depression because a lot of people would say that is an incurable
disease
where would we be without the red squiggly line i don't know how to spell
anything i can't spell
anything ever i never have been jimmy you're rolling the dice with eligible you're
an animal
in canada people whose sole underlying medical condition is severe depression
or any other mental
illness are currently not eligible for medical assistance and dying this
temporary exclusion
includes psychiatric conditions like depression and personality disorders the
law excludes eligibility
for made on the basis of mental illness alone in march 17 2027 uh however
people with mental illnesses
may be eligible if they have a grievous grievous grievous or uh irremediable
boy that's a word
have you ever said that word irremediable irremediable i've never said that
word
physical but i've never even seen that irremediable physical health condition
that meets maids criteria
the government has delayed eligibility expansion for mental illness due to
concerns around safety and
appropriate safeguards uh when made for mental illness becomes lee becomes
legal they say it like it will
27 march oh okay that's what i'd read okay this was the issue that so they were
going to okay the law
the law excludes eligibility for made on the basis of mental illness alone
until march 17 2027 so there's
a year and a few months and then these people are eligible for this uh as a
person five severe
depression alone does not qualify so what it seems like is a lot of people that
are just not doing well
it's the end of their life and they're like i'd like to go out on my own that's
fair
i don't want to just walk into a library with a 44 and make people clean up or
they go i'm a financial
burden on my family right or those kind of things yeah when you're an old
person you feel a little
guilt that like ah my kids that's true and also sometimes people like one of
their loved ones dies
and they don't want to be alone they just can't they've been with this person
for 45 years my dad just
died and my mom is not doing great with the she's been with him since she was
17.
it's very hard my grandfather died one year after my grandmother died
and he was fine up until then and it was just like the the grief was just
intolerable yeah and
she's feeling a lot of guilt because he was kind of uh cognitively
i don't know i don't know how to say it politely he was just kind of not not
himself for the last
like year and so when he passed uh my mom did feel a little relief like you
know oh yeah i'm kind of
his caretaker right right and so then feel guilt about the about the relief you
know you know i don't
want to feel relieved that someone that i'm that i've known my whole life is
gone and then now trying
to mourn that you know it's very very complicated and it's real hard when
someone has dementia or
alzheimer's or anything along those lines the patience that these people have
to work with
dementia and those kind of even an eating disorder is is you know you can't
really communicate it to
the person when they have this body dysmorphia or these like it's something as
simple as that
yeah those people are saints that can work with absolutely anybody cognitively
or like any kind
of like dysphoria like that's that's i mean i i those are heroes to me because
i don't have the
patience for it i'm very like direct i'm very like want to have a good time
like i'm not good at being
like how don't you see this apparently some really promising treatments for
dementia and alzheimer's
um one of them one of those dementia or alzheimer's was the supplement of uh
supplementation with
selenium see if you can find what that is that's what i was in that glanced at
quickly and i was
like i better probably shouldn't say this on here but there's a beautiful great
woman named lydia who
i've been hanging out with and and her mom was uh had some sort of dementia or
some some something like
this and uh she gave their family had a real long debate about uh what the
doctor recommended was shock
therapy and it worked really it works for now i guess like at least like they're
all going wait
now she's saying didn't you just come over last week and we talked about that
like she's having
things like i that's why i'm saying i i don't know if i should say it on here
because there was a
positive outcome of the shock therapy yeah it's funny because someone just sent
me a link to a
documentary on shock therapy that it was a negative thing can you believe they're
still doing shock
therapy right and i said like i don't know much about that yeah you know the
only shock therapy
i've ever heard was like you hear about the horror stories i don't know right
one flew over the cuckoos
next you know those are lumbotomies though right i think that was a shock
therapy thing oh i thought
those were lumbotomies well might be it might be those we've all agreed
although dude they were doing
them long after they were out yeah because those guys wanted money the like i
think it was like the
year i was born or the year before i was born they stopped doing them i heard
all these stories about
there would be like people who would still um you know on the fringes of it
because they didn't want
to like shut down their practice so they'd be like hey you know we'll still
give it to you
he's this like basement abortion yeah and they would be like this authoritarian
government's not even
letting people have lumbotomies but we'll still do it i'm the doctor that'll
still do it it's
lobotomy is it am i saying it i think it was lumbotomy dude you know what joe
for for a big part
of my life uh i thought it was sarah bell's palsy hold on what did you just say
the movie was shock
therapy yeah it was no it was um and the sarah bell's palsy yes we're watching
this game or
something and the guy looked crazy and i go looks like he's got sarah bell's
palsy my friend no one
laughed no one left which is a good comedy note is that if you say a thing
wrong or it's a false
premise or something no one's on board with it but if you say it around comedians
well i said around
a bunch of people watching football i go looks like he's got a sarah bell's
palsy and everyone just
looked at me and then my friend katie's like did you say sarah bells and i was
like wasn't that what it
is she's like cerebral palsy and i was like i don't know i've never seen the
movie so i don't know how
it ended it says they discovered at the end he had been lobotomized right in
the book the big chief
guy was lobotomized that's the plot of the movie so the big boy yeah oh so he
was lobotomized but was
jack nicholson supposedly lobotomized as well they were just in a cuckoo house
yeah but at the end
shock therapy here right they did shock therapy but remember at the end he was
like totally docile
maybe they were letting you know he got lobotomized too probably they did that
forever when did they
stop doing lobotomies wasn't like 67 please lumbotomy lumbotomy when they
stopped doing lumbotomies
this is a thing i have what year was it i love to talk about plenty of things i
know and don't know
about you know it's fun yeah one the one doctor did almost all of them what he
did one third of them
that's a lot how many did he do how rich was he let's say let's see what was
his net worth he had a
nice he yeah i bet he had a huge yeah one-third of his 3500 lobotomies were
successful and 490
resulted in fatalities wait hold on he killed 490 people successful which ones
were successful
they were perfect but what does that mean billy just drools now he doesn't fuck
the dog he's not
annoying us with his uh what you know undiagnosed um autism now he's like now
he just sits there
it's not successful hey he doesn't fuck the dog anymore it's a success that's
the guy oh that
fucking creepy looking psycho oh my god oh jesus christ that's how they did it
they went right through
the fucking eyeball i thought they went through the nose no they go through the
nether they could
do both probably i thought they always there's one oh there's the nose that's
the one i knew they do
both ways through the nose through the fucking eyeball fucking god damn it and
in the end look
he's happy oh i thought he was giving a thumbs up i thought he was going hell
yeah it's like i feel
great imagine if they just scrambled it a little so it's like you're just on ecstasy
all day we i love
everybody i will say the first time i did mushrooms i was like because my buddy's
like the cool thing
about mushrooms is that you don't want it's not like cocaine or or e or
anything you're not gonna
you're not gonna become like addicted to mushrooms you don't want to do
mushrooms every day and then
the second i did mushrooms i was sitting in the chair and i was like you guys
were wrong and they're
like what i go i just want to feel like this all the time like like you lost
your mind like this is
the this is the right state of being for me like yeah it's the best it should
be legal it's the best
drug it's better at making people better people than anything yes all i wanted
to do and still
since then is like let's just talk and connect and like let's find a way let's
be nice yeah let's be
good let's be nice to each other nobel prize for the oh wow not the same doctor
but okay wait nobel
prize that make people go ahead and get it right so they started getting him in
35 and then 49
dr moniz won the nobel prize for it yeah and so dr freeman was the guy who did
one third of them
yeah he made it a 10 minute procedure nice in and out nice it's quick come in
you got an appointment
at noon coming at 11 now i'll be there drooling in the parking lot at 11 35 it's
like a chiropractor
just come in we'll get the yeah we'll snap fast you'll be at chipotle in no
time i keep reading
stories about people that get paralyzed forever because of chiropractors oh
really there's been
a ton of those stories do you ever go to them you're a body guy that's no i don't
go to them anymore
all right i went to them back in the day before i read up on how chiropractors
learn you know when
they say i'm a doctor they don't go to medical school for three seconds that's
why i hate all
those arguments of authority you're not a scientist you're not it's like well
neither they kind of
like something's like invented by a magnetic healer who was a kook who learned
about it in a seance he
was a complete kook and then he was killed by his son who was a con man his son
ran him over with a
car and then his son took over the business and that's the and then it got
grandfathered in and
he won an obel piece but he got grandfathered in so but here's the thing
manipulating the body in a
positive way like adjusting you has some benefits deep tissue massage has a lot
of benefits like
manipulating tissue i get a trigger point massage really painful but it's very
effective there's real
benefits to it so there's things that chiropractors do that do have like a real
beneficial effect on
your body being able to recover but the claims at least in the beginning are
nuts the initial claims
it's gonna cure leukemia thyroid cancer they're just gonna adjust your back it's
a c4 c5 disconnection
pop and then they grab you and yank your neck it's so scary and sometimes
people have fucking
hemorrhages from these things because they violently yank your neck and a blood
vessel pops you have a
fucking stroke yeah and that's not happened just once it's happened a bunch of
times i grew up playing
video games too where i and watching all these action movies you know and i
thought that just twisting
a guy's head like you know like you kill him you think that's all it took you
know like i snuck up
behind that guy in the video game and just that's all i did meanwhile chiropractors
he's doing all
all day yeah you ever seen him do it to babies no oh my god it's so crazy
people that are like
full-on nuts have their babies brought to a chiropractor and the chiropractor
is adjusting the baby's
skull and moving the baby's i'm like yo your parental ideas of like they're all
scrapped like you're
supposed to keep it safe the idea of handing it to a chiropractor believe it
they believe it and so
they think they're doing a good thing jamie am i allowed to ask jamie to bring
things up yeah
fuck you jamie can you bring up some uh dog chiropractors have you seen this
yeah and the
dogs look at the chiropractor like what'd you just do but also i do feel a
little bit better the
dog's so sweet about it like i think i'm good actually you gotta get the right
dog a lot of pit
bulls because they're all strong and shit and so like they'll just adjust it
yeah i've seen like
montages of it and it's pretty adorable why is he gonna do this dog's neck
please don't
oh no no no no no no and look at the dog looking up at i don't think you need
to do that to that
dog i don't think that's necessary watch this look the way he looks at him but
here's the thing like
what studies are they showing where this is all good that's a belgium malinois
bro you can't hear it
but it goes i don't want to hear it it's i don't i don't know if that does
anything i don't know if
that's good i think if you got your dog a massage it'd be really good for them
yeah i think all that
snapping and the popping like are you loosening it up and making it more mobile
well if that's the case
you can do that with spinal decompression and massage i have this thing i've
been doing it with my
friends dogs and they've been loving it i put this thing on my neck i'm like
don't do that you're
gonna get a bitch i put this thing on my head it goes underneath my chin it's
got a like a rope
oh yeah a hoop that hangs on my chin up bar and i just i've seen them advertise
it because you use
it oh there you go oh look at this he's giving his dog a back crack oh bro that's
the camel's clutch
that dog is sweet he's letting you do your nonsense dude this guy dogs just
love getting rubbed that's
all it is yeah that's all petting is is kind of a massage you know that's what
they love they love
massages they don't have to pretend they don't you love massages too everybody
does we don't have to
ask them about that they like it if we were like dogs everybody would just lie
down on the floor and
let people rub them yeah it'd be fine you come over my house dude marshall will
lie down immediately
and let you rub them that's my favorite thing about dogs he assumes you want to
rub his belly yeah
dogs don't go this guy's probably who do you vote for no dogs aren't ever like
worried my dog go up to
like a homeless they don't care what's up homeless guy yeah it's like he loves
them yeah they're they're the
the best but we don't deserve them but i don't think they should go to a chiropractor
but people
that think that you should bring your doctor it's because they believe in the
chiropractors there's
a great article called uh chiropractors are bullshit um pull that article up
the lady who wrote it
was on the podcast and she i read the article and then i had her explain it to
me yeah it was back in
la and i was like oh this is a nutty thing i thought they were doctors yeah it's
not different
i went to one of those ones it's called the joint and you know you can just
like you can just walk in
and they'll do it and this is i think a lot of it for me was placebo like i
just thought like oh they
told me this is good for me so i'm doing it you know i wasn't having pain or
anything eve detremont is
the lady who was on the podcast that wrote this article but it's it's crazy i
like the title it's a
crazy very direct when you read the story of how it was invented you're like
this is nuts because it's one
of those things that's just grandfathered in and if you're allowed to be doctor
like we should be
doctors of comedy would you like to be dr jeff jeff md dude yeah i'm wait not md
what would it be
you're giving people laughter which is the best medicine sure so i think we
should get doctors
of comedy maybe we should do that like at the mothership just start handing out
doctorates of
comedy that's how you get past kind of you get a you headline you do your first
theater tour i'll
give you a doctor i worked under ron white and then i got my i mentored under ron
white
exactly ron white was patient zero here because ron moved out here before the
pandemic really yeah he's
the reason why i decided to move out here because uh you know ron and i have
been real close forever
and knowing him from the comedy store he was always like one of the coolest
guys to hang out with
he's the best and so we were hanging out in the back bar and he was telling me
he's moving to texas
like what what are you doing you're here don't go this is nuts he's like oh it's
the best he goes i
want to keep my house out here in beverly hills but this fucking place is the
food's the best the
people are nice if i want to fly i'm in the middle right it's three hours here
three hours and i was
like damn he's got a good point so when the shit started getting weird in la
and they were burning
cop cars on on the freeway that's when daddy was like those are the scary ones
i gotta get out of
here yeah you know because so i my kids are little you know 10 and 12 at the
time the little ones
and i was like this is dangerous and we all agreed like it just doesn't feel
right i don't feel like
they're gonna open this up i think this is bullshit let's get the fuck out of
here it's not like you're
an actor exactly right exactly i was like you acted but you weren't an actor i
wasn't interested in
doing it anymore i and we were flying a lot of the guests out anyway and i was
like i'll figure it
out i'll do zoom calls i don't want to do this right i don't want to live here
i want to live
my life i'd be happy making less money and and doing it somewhere else and
maybe it's not as good
have you thought about making other motherships as we did we have we've talked
about where we
talked about new york um we've talked about vegas what about florida we've
talked here's the thing
to do it i mean this is just like based on what we've done in austin right what
we did in austin
is a once in a lifetime opportunity where we hit every green light every green
light along the way
we we got in the right spot so like the only way this club happens first of all
is i'm friends with
adam egott and i've been friends with adam egott from back when he was he was
running the improv in um
tempe so that's when i knew him i knew him from back then and then he came to
california and he started
working at the comedy store when i had already been banned so i had been banned
and i had gone
on my seven-year exodus and he came to meet me at the improv they showed you by
the way what comedy
store they really showed you so he came to meet me at the improv he's like dude
come back it's you
know i'm i'm there now i'm the talent coordinator and i thought about it and
then i wound up coming
back because of ari because you know ari shafir is one of my closest friends
and he was filming his
special there and i had known ari since he was a doorman i knew him when he was
a doorman there and
now he's filming a special i'm like i don't give a fuck i have to be there i
have to be there for him
and uh i went there a day before just so i could relax because it was weird
because i hadn't been
there in seven years and you know it was super friendly hugged everybody it was
great and then and
then i saw ari and ari killed and the special was awesome and it was just such
a it was such a happy
moment to see him like accomplish this thing going from being a doorman to
having your own comedy
central special while he's also doing a show on comedy central that's what he's
doing this is not
happening yeah i was on that so it was like i had to come back so that that was
2014 and becoming
really good friends with adam and knowing him from the improv like knowing him
from back in the day
and then becoming friends with him when he was the account coordinator we had
talked about like what
are the problems with running a club like what is the problems with like people
telling you oh you have
to have more of this on your show or more that on your show or you're
problematic and people getting
mad about this mad about that i'm like it's got to be a meritocracy as much as
that bothers some
people the people that bothers they're never good right david tells never
complaining about diversity
you know what i'm saying it's like the people that are complaining generally
they're mediocre at best
and he was like you're right i go but you can't give into them because there's
a lot of them
and they yell and they you know they make it seem like it's a big deal but the
big deal is
laughs being doing good comedy being having an original idea being funny here's
the world through my eyes
this is how i've crafted it for you that's all it is everything else is a
fucking distraction
and we both agreed on that and so wouldn't the comedy store shut down and then
i moved out here
there was a like a long time where i was like i don't know what to do like do i
stop doing comedy
now and just do this podcast like no one's doing comedy it was months and
months of no comedy
and then dave and i started doing shows at stubs so dave was like i want to do
a show at stubs
let's do like a residency there i'm like fuck yeah let's do it so he and i did
like we had done a ton
of shows a bunch of arena shows before the pandemic together and so the stubs
thing came along and i
was like okay yeah let's just do this all right we're doing this now and i
guess we're doing comedy
again and then we started doing comedy at the vulcan and the vulcan is indoor
and it's loud and it's
rowdy and it was naughty like it was crazy you're doing a november 2020 indoor
show punk rock and so when that
was happening then everybody started moving here then everything then
everything got weird and i was
like whoa we got like tom segura moved here duncan trussell moved here tony hinchcliffe
moved here
brian simpson moved here i was like whoa we got a crew here derek poston moved
here asana mod moved
here i'm like we got a real crew here and then it just kept escalating tim dylan
came it was like over
and over again joe de rosa came shane killis came it was like and so while all
this was happening where all
these guys were at least talking about moving there they're like it feels
better here like the scene
feels more alive because the la was still shut down and so then ron white
basically like grabbed me by
the shoulders one night after he hadn't done stand-up in like six months and he
grabs me goes whatever the
fuck we have to do we're gonna keep doing this you gotta open up a club i'm
like we're gonna open up a club
let's go and then that's how it all started but we had to hit every light like
adam had to be out
of a job all the people that we got from the comedy store that were great we
brought over a bunch of
people right they all had to be out of a job right so the comedy store had to
be closed otherwise why
would you leave the comedy store it's the greatest place on earth yeah so then
it was like everything
else had to be closed down so the the comics knew that they could do stand-up
in texas and so like
well let's just go to texas and it just people decided i like doing stand-up
more than i like living
in la yeah and then once they came out here they really i think i like it out
here better it is it's
amazing we've got also my favorite thing about the scene here is the mothership
helps everything around
as well so i can't get over every time that i've been here how inviting how
cool all the young comics
are all these guys who would chew off their arm to get a spot at your club are
here for it and
they're here at these other places they're doing all these other things because
they believe in what
the mothership's doing and there's all this other stuff so it has the most buzz
as far not buzz that's
a stupid word it has the it has a feeling it has like this vibe it has this
aura whereas like that used
to be in new york and that used to be in la and i don't feel it in those places
anymore i'm actually
lucky that i can go to the cellar and i can go do the stand and i can do those
things i can go to the
comedy store i go to the improv i'm at a place where they'll have me but there's
not like a bunch
of young guys doing small shows and excited at the idea of even going over to
the store after their
spots your club has that well there's a couple things it has an advantage of
right one is kill tony
that's the biggest advantage the big advantage of there's a show that's monday
night that is
the biggest live comedy show on planet earth and you might be able to get on it
and if you've got
a tight minute and you could kill they're going to ask you back and if you've
got another tight minute
oh my god you might have a career exactly you might have a career and that's
happened time and time
again like cam patterson is on snl right now yes sir and that came straight out
of kill tony 100 and you
you know and cam is super fucking talented but so is hans kim so is a lot of
william montgomery
there's a lot of people coming out of there that are that do great and they
they have a real career
now ari maddie has a real career now it's amazing casey rocket it's an amazing
resource 100 so that's
the big one is that there's a real pathway and then there's also two nights of
open mic night two
nights so we make sure we have plenty of open mic night time yeah you get to do
an open mic night the
best club in the world and then on top of that it's like the club is the only
club that i know of
that was designed not to make money all i wanted to do is break even i'm like i
just don't want to
lose any money you know because it's so much money to make a club and build it
in the first place you
have to buy a building you have to hire all these people to fix it and turn it's
a lot of money invested
i'm like i just want to lose a lot of money which is why a lot of owners have
terrible reputations
because they do all these corner cutting or they do like they're trying to fuck
you yeah and
so yeah but they're also desperate in a way like these guys they'll you know i
i like club owners
but there's a lot of crazy club owners and they're they feel that pressure of
like i got to keep this
alive i don't want to keep losing money i used to tell comics be nice to club
owners because you don't
want to be one yeah you do not want to be one that's a great way but you're
doing it honorably
i do the way i'm lucky that i have the other ways of making a living right most
club owners they're club
owner by definition that's what they do for a job this is not what i do for a
job this is just i do this
for literally to make a comedy environment right so it's the the club is set up
so the comedians get
most of the money because that's how it should be it's great people aren't
coming to see drinks
right they're coming to see a guy do his art a woman do her art on stage yep so
that person should get
most of the money and that's how it should be and it should be that way because
it's the right way to
do it and because it builds the art form you have more people making money so
they don't have to leave
as much they don't have to go out of town as much they can stay in town and
develop and work on new
stuff and there's all these satellite rooms there's the sunset strip that's
right down the street from
us you could walk there in three minutes that's red bands clubs killing creek
in the cage is an
awesome spot that's where gillis filmed his first youtube special he filmed it
it's amazing it's a
great club that's another club we did a lot during the pandemic and then you've
got all these other
clubs cap city's a great fucking club that's just 20 minutes away they're all
there's a bunch of
these satellite rooms all around this place that are killing it right now yeah
because comedy is a fun
thing to do and people love you know and we can do it in a way where it's not
connected to hollywood
it's not connected to movies it's not connected to tv it's an art form in and
of itself that had been
prostituted out for so long that people thought like the golden goose was be a
late night talk show
host that was the golden goose a job that i wouldn't there's no way i would if
they doubled
my money i'd be like i'm not doing that i can't do it it's not me right when it's
also not really
stand-up so so many times like people are like so do you want to like is it are
you doing this because
of like you want to be a movie stars i was like no i'm doing it because i love
stand-up comedy yeah
i just watched the starting five of um it's called starting five on netflix but
they follow nba players
and the annoying part is like their wives and girlfriends that i think that's
the annoying
part like i want to hear them talk about basketball like the thing they love
right that inspires me
because i look at the way i pursue comedy the way they pursue their basketball
you know like their
career so anyways but what i was inspired by was like kevin durant who i
thought i hated my whole
life was awesome he just wants to play basketball like that's all it is for him
he's like yeah i'm
i just want to go out there and hoop and he keeps going to that thing of like
man i don't
want to have these arguments in barbershops about the greatest ever or any of
those things i he makes
money but it's not about the money for him and it's not about the chicks those
are all symptoms
of what he pursues and i love that because i'm like yeah i just love the joke
part i love that i can
write a bit and then that night try it and people love it or they go what an
interesting idea or that's
funny or that's naughty or that's i've never thought of it like that when you
know when you're campaigning
on a political trail or whatever like when you go to like the trump rally or
when i don't know what
kamala harris called her thing but those aren't undecided voters those are
people who are there
because they're already in you're not even talking to anyone who's considering
voting for anyone else
when you go to a thing like that but with stand-up comedy when they're in that
audience they're just
looking at you and going hey bro bring me some jokes yeah and so i can now do
jokes about what
i think and what i believe and the crowd will listen to me and decide if i'm
not funny or funny
but you're getting into their ear you're getting into them going i've never
thought of it like that
that guy was making some pretty good uh jokes up there about a subject that i
thought i wouldn't
hear you know like it's just like i think comedy is such a gift that way but i
was like i was like
like i think i'm like kevin to rent i i like the girls and i like the money and
i like all i love
all that stuff but for me i i did a spot here uh i can't remember what it was
and they were like
dude we can't thank you enough for coming and i was like what are you talking
about like i get up on
any fucking stage and he tried to slide me money i'll give it to the other guys
like i came to do this
because i was happy you to have me on like i just couldn't that's a great
attitude yeah it's so much
better to just so much better to tell jokes yeah i don't need to be famous uh
that would be a good
symptom that'd be a great symptom of it but like it also comes with its own
problems you know all
those other stuff yeah yeah all those stuff but that's the best attitude is
just love what you do
love what you do and all the success comes because of it but the moment you
start thinking about the
success only and then making decisions based only on getting and attaining more
success instead of
thinking about the thing yeah you know and that's what they do they seduce you
they go want to be in
this movie i want to be those are the hyenas like you were saying the hyenas
they circle but i don't
want to be an actor and thank you for the opportunity and i love that you
believe you can make some
money off me by putting me in that but for me walking my ass into a place that
has a stage and
a microphone and being able to be naughty and say anything i'd like and and
make jokes is so exciting
to me if they put a billion dollars in my bank account tomorrow i'll still go
do my spot tonight
at the mothership and fat man and if tomorrow they said jeff you make zero
dollars doing this you
might want to find a day job i'll go okay but i'm still doing my spot right
like i'm still gonna do
it no matter what yeah yeah i just love it yeah i would do it forever it's the
most fun art form yeah
you know and the fact that we're fortunate enough to be able to do it and make
money doing it is
incredible you should be happy yeah if you're complaining you're missing out oh
dude i i won't say this
comic's name because uh you know i just don't want any trouble with this guy
but i remember i was at a
festival and um and i'm more criticizing his attitude on that night uh we're in
the green room and they
were like so excited to have him because he's a very funny guy and very
talented and they said um they
go so how much time do you want to do he was like how much time am i contracted
to do and they were
like oh well you know you you're booked for 45 minutes but i was just letting
you know you're
the end of the show and everyone's here to see you so just do whatever you want
he goes then i'm doing
the 45 minutes and i remember thinking the fuck is wrong with you like they're
they're happy you're
here everyone is excited yeah just if you tell me that bro i'm on stage for two
hours 45 minutes
it's good but i'm gonna stay up there you know because i like being up there
yeah it's fun
boo it's not you're not pouring concrete dude like you you get to go tell jokes
to these people
like what an exciting job you have that's exciting i think where that comes
from is like in the
beginning it's like really hard it's hard to do it's hard to get paid it's hard
and then you build up
a resentment to the point where even after you make it you take it for granted
and now you think like
what do i have to do 45 minutes and that's what i'm doing crazy yeah yeah you
like instead of like
wow i made it i actually i could actually get paid to go do comedy now i'll get
45 minutes not
important okay i'll go around have some fun that's gonna have some exactly like
that's so i i've worked
at hollywood video i've worked at any coffee shop that was like i've had over
like 40 different coffee
jobs because i just couldn't keep a job like i was always living somewhere
different or like pursuing
comedy so aggressively that like i just needed a job so i was good at getting
the job and then i would
fuck off or do something stupid and i'd get like let go or i'd move and just
ghost that job you know
i've had all these jobs but whether it was hollywood video or rock bottom
brewery or whether it was
any of these million coffee shops i worked at i was always the fun guy at the
job that made friends
with everyone and goofed off because it's more fun to have a good attitude at
work and like the job
than it is to hate the job right because because not because the job was great
but because it's going
to be a better experience here if i like it if i at least trick myself into
liking it there's not
it wasn't my dream to put movies in alphabetical order with dyslexia in a hollywood
video but
i want to enjoy my job like that was more fun to like be happy to be there so
now we get to do
comedy which is the dream and you're you have that attitude like i just can't
get my mind around that
well there's some people that think they have to be miserable to be good
there's a weird thing that i think uh some artists feel like they have to kind
of suffer
in order to be funny like they have to be upset they have to be angry i used to
think that when i was
when i was i was really young and dumb um i was thinking that maybe like i
should stop meditating
because if i meditate and achieve any kind of enlightenment i won't think i don't
think things
are so annoying anymore that i could on them on stage which is like a big part
of my act yeah you
didn't want to be happy because you would find yeah yeah that but that was me
at 21 or whatever
it was yeah well jerry seinfeld who's one of my favorites ever uh despite any
of his political
beliefs or any of those things like i really really respect every time jerry
seinfeld talks on podcasts
or interviews or whatever because he's like buddha of comedy like the way he
talks about work ethic
the way he talks about joke writing the way he's very disciplined he's very
good so i always hang on
everything jerry says like in those things i think he's the best look up
anytime he's been interviewed
but jerry although he's clean right he's a clean comic and although he's a
husband and a dad and no
matter what he's labeled as he seems to be very at peace in his life and very
successful and rich
he does have this edge to him there still is like an irritability yeah and i
think that's probably what
you were thinking at 21 of like i need that i need to be but you could well he's
also smart and he's
talking to morons all the time and that's how you get an edge like that yeah
probably doesn't have
like a tight crew of cool people that he could just chill with sure i agree you
get alienated you're
you're worth a billion dollars smarter than kids right but you also you you got
you made a billion
dollars from a sitcom you did in the 90s you never have to work again for a day
in your
fucking life you have a hundred porsches right you're just collecting porsches
you're bored as
fuck and then morons want to say you know what my favorite episode was like i
don't
fucking care all day yeah i don't want to hear this anymore i'm sure you get
that all the time
someone wants to tell you a story about a thing and you go i don't know well i
think i'm a
little more tolerant than him yeah yeah but he's i get it i get why he would be
a little prickly like
some of the questions are really stupid like for sure there was a big racism
controversy about his
show right comedians in cars drinking coffee which is why i'm surprised he wasn't
he's not more vocal
about that but he did a great thing like he's like i don't care speak the
language of funny if
you're funny i don't care what you are which is the right answer and a lot of
people like oh that
sounds racist that's a great answer this is great if that's racist this is you're
expecting something
that you're not going to get which you're expecting people to abandon meritocracy
in the most meritocracy
based art form you could like you have to have a specific response from people
right you have to
get a laugh yeah and you're creating it all yourself like there's no talking it's
just you yeah that's
it and so if it's comedians that you think are funny and they happen to be
whatever it's just who's
funny because everything else is bullshit this idea there's not enough women
there's not enough
black people there's not enough it's insane stop right stop yeah wait there was
an interview that goes
what do you say to the people who criticize that you don't have enough people
of color or blah blah blah
um and then he goes i don't know i'm looking at your audience a lot of whiteys
in here that's what
he said oh it's the best because it's like it's so true so true look at your
friend groups look at
your life yeah fuck off when you start running it through everyone's genitals
and skin color
you could you could call every culture racist right i went to my buddy's uh
family barbecue who's uh
polynesian you know he's pacific islander guy uh one real diverse family
reunion right because that's
the beauty of a culture is that you kind of have the whole point of having a
culture is to have some
advantages i can't just wander into your family's thing and go how come there's
no more there's not
any filipinos here right it's just that's not how it works i would say that i
think i i've said a
couple times on stage but like i wonder if like liberals go to like japan and
they're like this is
disgusting you know it's all japanese people here it's not very diverse yeah i
wonder do they go to
russia oh my gosh where's the diversity here like that's not how things work no
there's a lot of
countries that aren't diverse at all and it's fine as long as they're black you
know what i mean it's
like all black it's totally fine but all like poland's a problem that's a real
problem yeah it's insane
to me yeah well it's people are just weird you know and look racism is bad so
because race it was
because actual racism is bad people look for racism all sorts of places and
then they start deciding
that things are racist or you know they could do with a lot of stuff like you
know we were talking
about this the other day this idea of silence is violence like shut the fuck up
that's crazy
nobody ever punched you then yeah i'll show you some yeah then you'll go hey
can we go back
to the uh silence come to the ufc with me i'll show you what like this is see
that's what violence
is yeah this is way this is a sport of it these are nice people like that's
actual violence
it's not fucking words it's definitely not silence sticks and stones may break
my bones but names
will never hurt me and then they start using sticks and stones you go let's go
back to names i'm happy
with names there was less blood when you were calling me names yeah you're you're
being silly
silence is not violence you fucking idiot that's so dumb it's silence is just
silence you can't
fucking it's pretty nice but it shows what you want is what you want force
people to comply
you want to force people to say what you want them to say right put that black
square on your
instagram power exactly yeah yeah yeah and it's a bunch of losers it's usually
a bunch of losers at
the wheel that bus yeah and they're going right off the cliff and they want to
bring you with them
like what are you doing not a fun place not fun yeah don't like it that's not
the world we live in
yeah or it's not the universe that comics like to live in at all that's the
other thing about all these
people pushing all these different things to call everybody and uh an ist or
whatever the fuck you are
and how you have a phobia whatever it is all these people seem to be miserable
yeah yeah they don't
seem very happy in the same world they're proud of their anger which is odd
yeah it's like find
some things to love okay there's a lot to love in this world comic went on and
killed tony last night
he was so great and i am remiss that i don't remember his name and he was able
to rattle off which
i'm sure he's done before it's probably in his act but he was able to rattle
off all his interests
he's like oh i'm in you know universal studios let's go monster truck rally let's
do it and i was
like i immediately wanted to be friends with this guy because i'm like that's
how i want to live
i live or i mean i do live like that and i was like dude i can identify with
this so much the little
kid in me is like yeah whatever it is let's go i go to the gay pride parade i've
got a lot of gay
friends let's fucking do it like like whatever it is right that's so much
better of an attitude
just like let's let's do it all let's let's let's jump in these things like
that's so much more fun
then going we're not going there because of this and we're not doing that
because of this and this
is probably it's like it's too exhausting well a lot of people like being
exhausted because it keeps
them active they've got something to think about it's their sports yeah it is
you know politics for
a lot of people is their sport and it's not just their sports it's like their
fanatical red sox fans
it's their religion yeah yeah it's red sox to the death and that's what it is
like
fuck the yankees that's all it is man but it's the same thing so the sports one
is where i think
is a little different because the yankees fan doesn't want to murder those red
sox fan we both
still like baseball they break people's legs yeah yeah sometimes you know but i'm
saying they still
like baseball yes they can still agree oh we're at the ballpark you know we're
having a hot dog and
it's like fuck you and you're like fuck you and that's fun you know it's fun
but like to the people
that claim they hate religion the most are acting their politics out like
religious zealots right
they're going well this is i wouldn't even tell jimmy kimmel's wife i can't
even talk to them
anymore i i don't think she said she's having a hard time talking i might be i've
watched it a bunch
but so what happened was she said that she was always struggling with it since
trump's been in office
but now she doesn't even want to be with these people because it's personal to
her that like that now
she's made the decision to not uh and it's like that's that's where it's a
problem struggling
with it's fine if family reunies want to have a talk with your aunt who voted
for trump or something
i think that's healthy you know let's talk about it because if you're doing any
of these things and
you can't defend it you're probably pretty stupid but when you start going i
won't even be associated
with that person because of whatever it is that that's a that's a problem well
it doesn't seem smart
yeah doesn't seem healthy you know if you don't have any room for disagreement
but it's also like
the thing between kimmel and trump is so dumb it's very dumb it's so dumb i can't
believe like and then
then he went after um what's he went after jimmy fallon and seth myers as well
right uh yeah losers
yes yes yes that's crazy i know that's so dumb i i don't understand i guess no
one is around to tell
him that he must be in a bubble he's 100 in a bubble but that's also the way he's
behaved his
whole life like that's how he would attack you if he was on the apprentice you
know i'm supposed to do
the celebrity apprentice i was supposed to do it too but way after it was good
i did i was supposed
to do it with arnold schwarzenegger wow i was supposed to do it with him with
trump yes okay uh
it was when fear factor was returning to nbc they asked me to do celebrity
apprentice and i thought
about it but my kids were really young at the time i didn't want to live in new
york and i was like how
long does it take it takes forever and then also it's like that guy's going to
be mean to me and i'm
gonna be like fuck it's not fun like that's not gonna be fun like i'm not good
with that you know
i'll get real i wonder what your political opinion would be of trump if you had
done celebrity
apprentice interesting i think he always had an understanding of like how the
whole political
process worked like there's an interesting interview of him way back in the day
i think he was talking to
barbara walters maybe it was a really old interview where he was talking about
maybe one day running for
president and this is back when he was a democrat yeah you know he was a
democrat from queens he's a
long portion of his life um and you know i think elon said it best he's a
product of his time
you know and that's the thing this is an almost 80 year old man who's a real
estate guy who likes
to see his name in big gold letters loves america because that's what he always
liked like i like my
name big gold letters like everything's big and gold that's what he genuinely
likes people knew that
about him they would give him a little more grace when he says crazy things
because like if you read
his book like there was a part where he was like he's like uh okay do you think
he really wrote the
book uh no but i think i don't think anyone does dennis rodman didn't write his
book you know
i just had a guy follow him some people write their own book for sure but not
the majority yeah
or actually that's not true the majority of people write their own books the
majority of
celebrities have someone follow them and talk to them in coffee shops they have
ghost writers yeah
um but he was he was like talking about this building's the biggest in new york
it's the best
and they're like it's not even the biggest building in this and he goes you
know what i mean like it's
kind of like yeah and if you know that then you kind of like give him a little
more grace when he's
just saying it's just kind of how he is he's this i'm the best you know it
doesn't mean he's really
the best it means he's got an attitude of the best you saw the bbc thing right
uh what thing
you didn't see the thing where bbc got in trouble for editing uh his speech we
talked about it
yesterday i'll i'll just tell you real briefly so they took a segment of him
saying something and
then spliced in a segment of him saying something else from 53 minutes later
right the um storming
the capital yes right from the january 6th crazy yeah which is not journalism
like that is not
journalism but like full-on lying and propaganda and it's kind of dangerous and
those are the things
people watch that's what i say in that shortened bullshit yes but these people
lost their jobs
because of it it's a big deal yeah and not only that but like they're getting hounded
by reporters
they're asking them and the the answers that they have for why they did what
they did it's like
crazy they felt it seems like these people this is just my opinion it seems
like these people felt
justified for completely lying because it would lead to an ultimate good so
they lost all journalistic
integrity and it is the bbc which is like the height of journalistic integrity
if that doesn't show the
rot of mainstream corporate controlled media then nothing does right because
that that's pure rot if
at the top of the heap you got like in in my mind if like if somebody said
something to me and they
quoted a source and it was the bbc i was like okay that's like washington post
that's like new york times
it's a very official source so i'm thinking this must be real and they turned
it into activism and they
turned it into lying and they did it in front of everybody where you could
clearly just listen to
the whole thing and no he didn't say that but that's not how he said it at all
yeah it's like well and i
think uh i i'm sorry that i keep harping on this but like that's what aoc or
kind of the left i see most
guilty of doing is in their brain they go i know that this is a little like
whatever but it's for
our greater good right so they're they're they're doing that with their own
thing listen i don't i'm
smart enough to know that charlie kirk was trying to make a point about blank
but if i twist this a
little it's for the greater good right of what i'm trying to do here and so
they justify it to themselves
they say oh well now i know that i might have been a little political
politiciany here right but it's
for a greater good and it's vague and it's like listen he look he hates black
people that's why um
obama disappointed me so much during the kamala harris campaign because he did
that thing where he said
you know that he said that white nationalists are very fine people yeah he said
we have very fine
people on both sides and do you hear the actual quote and the difference
between what they're
saying he said and what he said what he said was the exact opposite he said and
i'm not talking about
neo-nazis and white nationalists he said he's like i don't forget the exact
wordage he used
they should be condemned whatever he said but along those lines he specifically
said not those people
i'm talking about people that just didn't want these statues torn down yes that
there's very fine
people on both sides and some people just like go yeah it was robert e lee's a
really bad guy but it's
like this is a part of history it is yeah yeah this is like this is just
reality yeah but that using
that during kamala harris's campaign i was like that's great you know what he
said yeah you must know
they cut it up but why would you sacrifice what's so valuable is like your stature
and your integrity
why would you sacrifice that for someone who just probably wasn't going to win
anyway right i mean
i don't know if it's money or if it's some sort of oath or if it's intentional
whatever but like that
stuff's so dangerous i really like that shortening of like what someone said
taking out of context
i think there's also the consequences of um people going to trial for that russia
gate stuff
because i think that that russia gate collusion hoax that they perpetrated on
mainstream media for years
and a lot of people are really comfortable uncomfortable with even saying it
was a hoax
no it was a hoax ladies and gentlemen it was a hoax and a lot of people
coordinated that hoax
and there was a lot of people involved and i think they're super sketched out
about trump being president
again and possibly digging into that stuff and he's doing that now yeah and you're
finding real evidence
that the people that you would think the intelligence agencies you think what
are they here for they're
here to make america safe and protect us from problems but it seems like they
also metal yeah and
not just metal but like completely try to sabotage someone and paint them out
in a way that's
completely inaccurate knowingly willingly with taxpayer dollars funding it all
for the greater good for
their greater good bro i might say very fine people too if i was doing that i
said whatever he's a
fucking nazi uh let's not yeah he's hitler yeah let's say whatever the fuck
keep him out of office i think
that's what happened with the um in a way that's kind of what happened with
like the epstein list
thing i think like the reason you're never going to see that is because there's
just too many powerful
people that are in that that are on both sides it would kind of be a not a
collapse but like a social
kind of like collapse of like not just that but both sides i mean i don't think
there's like that
you're not going to find all liberals went to this island you're not going to
find all conservatives
went to this island you're going to see a list of some of very powerful creeps
on everything so it's
like both this like stalemate of the right and the left going maybe we just won't
do this but it's not
just that it's this ball of yarn of what did they do with the information what
did they if they did
compromise you and they did fly you out to an island you did have sex with
underage girls
what did you do then when you were confronted by the fact that they know this
right what did you do
like what decisions were made what foreign policy decisions were made what
financial decisions were
made yeah what money got donated how much money transferred back and forth to
different accounts
because of things that happened there yeah how many huge international
decisions were made by people in
powerful positions because someone has a video of them doing something very
compromising on an island
that's why i'm glad that i mean i might be the very rich or anything but like
if something you know if
they try to figure out something on me this is this would be their research
they'd be like all right
we found jeff died he likes a sprite you know uh uh uh uh he also watches pro
they'd have nothing
they'd just be searching you're not a guy who's trying to run the world yeah
the thing is everybody
who wants to run the world everybody wants to be the president everybody they're
all they've all done
weird shit they're fucking crazy and then they get into a position where they
have like ultimate power
and they're putting fucking masks on and fucking each other and i mean that's
skull and bone it's crazy
stuff to me yeah there's always been these weird secret societies of people
that get really wealthy and
they do kooky things and they wife swap and yeah yeah it's very strange people
lose their
fucking minds with any kind of power and you got the kind of power where you're
literally like
running the government you're literally running the whole government i still
wouldn't want to do bad
stuff like it's crazy like it's like i guess my brain's too simple you don't
want to run the
government i know but if i just i think to myself i'm like it's crazy that
there's this much
shit on all these powerful people like it's crazy it's not crazy though because
you think like what
is their pursuit it's just like very bizarre pursuit because either they really
are for the people and
they really want to make the world a better place then you're not going to get
anything on them because
then they're bernie sanders right you got nothing yeah they just you got
nothing you know he might not
be effective but you know you don't have anything on him right he's not going
to compromise he doesn't
have to you got nothing on him or you you got someone who wants to be a leader
for some strange
reason and they they're really not that extraordinary but they're in a really
shallow pool of talent right
because that's the real truth about running for president or running for
governor or running for
mayor is it's a fucking shallow pool of talent because most people that have
any kind of talent
talking don't want that job right why would i want that job why would i want
people to shoot at me
why would i want half the country to hate me no matter what i do right why
would i want to get
in and find out that this intertwined web of fucking money and power and
influence there's no way to fix
it yeah and i'm just going to sit here for four years being a bad guy in a
stupid white house like
yeah because you took a photo with something on it yeah so the people that want
that are all out of
their fucking minds and they're all kooks they're all gavin newsom's they're
all kamala harris's and
donald trump's and they're all kooky people you know and some of these kooky
people will do a better job
than other kooky people but only kooky people want the job and until that
changes and until
not just kooky people want the job non non-kooky people want the job being
president but non-kooky
people involved in congress and the senate and everything regular rational
people that can have
real conversations and not try to diminish whoever you're talking to and every
in the most reductionist
way possible make them out to be a moron because they're on the other side the
actual solving of
problems without you doing it at the behest of these massive corporations that
have been donating to
you right so you have to bullshit your way and gaslight people and you can't be
honest about your real
opinions that's the real fucking problem with that whole system it is
absolutely contaminated by both
money and the promise of money in the future if you play ball that's where it
gets real weird yeah
they leave government jobs and start working for pharmaceutical drug companies
that they were
regulating just 16 months ago like it's it's like x it's like x uh or like
twitter you know it's like
like nobody's on there to go oh i'm gonna like try and find some people's ideas
it's all like debate
culture like you could put the most simple thing and you have 700 people who
just want to go like
the the the goal is to debate and argue and get into like win and dunk on your
opponent and make
someone say there's not like nobody like you said in the beginning is like
nobody's trying to just go
i think i really want to make it fair it's like no one's saying that no what's
even more fun is blue
sky you ever go to blue sky if you make an account even in your name you say jeff
die i bet you'll be
banned i would bet you'll be banned within 20 minutes yes yeah you're
problematic you're a toxic
what is what is your heterosexual you're a cis gendered male that's um which is
what yeah we
already had i don't know we don't need to add that i don't i'm not doing it i
thought i got to choose
my pronouns why do they get to put cis on me sis on me but if you go there um i
saw this one conversation
where someone said they were talking about something saying i'm trying to be
zen about it and then the next
person say said try not to be racist against asian people from zen yeah that's
insane i mean that's
crazy it's whack-a-mole yeah they're just sitting there ready to whack they're
just ready for someone
to pop up with any micro aggressions any diversions from the narrative it's so
exhausting
i've never heard of this it's like a liberal kind of like facebook or something
most people bailed on it
so a lot of people like stephen king said i'm going over to blue sky they all
decided to go over to blue
sky because trump let them say whatever they want on twitter and they just didn't
like the reality of the
world right and so they're like this is bullshit i'm leaving and they all come
back they all come back to
twitter because x is more fun exactly it's it's nuts but it's way more fun than
everybody just calling you
racist for everything i do think that's the current problem with the world i
know that's very vague but
like people just want to win the talk nobody wants to have the talk right so it's
it's more about
like well here's what you haven't thought about this but like it's it's like it's
like why are you talking
at anyone like that right like hear them out and then they also have the uh
give them the luxury of being
wrong it's okay to be wrong i'm wrong all the time but like like the only way i
can be right is if i say
the wrong thing and i learn or you know that's that's we should be having
conversations not arguments but
the the thing is now you attach that to politics and you literally have to win
the arguments because
that's what the whole game is the whole game is like get up in front of all
those people and state
your claim and diminish the claim of your opponent and that's that it's stupid
yeah but they have to
do it because they have to get elected because if they don't get elected then
they don't have power
and if they don't have and once they get into power then they have to use that
power for their
constituents and for the people that help them get into power yeah so there's a
bunch of needs of
these and there's a bill you want to put this in the bill because it's going to
help the oil sector
right the bill is going to help chips and whoo yeah and so of course you're
going to put a mask on and go
fuck a guy you're crazy you're doing a crazy job you're doing ecstasy you're
hanging out with all
these people that are running the world of course you're sucking dick with a vhs
camera somewhere
that's why i'm walking around town with a leather mask being walked by my
boyfriend they can't take
it anymore they're living an insane life where they're producing no value so
there's nothing they're
doing where unless they're real like that's what i think about bernie sanders
love him or hate him
that's a real guy and he has real beliefs and he's been steadfast about these
real beliefs
from the beginning of his career from there's a photo of him that we played we
showed on the podcast of
him getting arrested at a civil rights protest yeah in the 1960s i think it was
he's always been that
guy that's who that's who he is which is great yeah and we need if you're not
that then what are you
doing you're trying to just get ahead you're trying to win you're trying to gaslight
the best you're
trying to make your way through this weird game where you could be a senator or
you could be a governor
and then maybe you could be the president you have eyes on the throne first
thing i'm gonna do is take
that tacky fucking gold leaf off the wall trump put gold leaf everywhere he
likes gold yeah what's
wrong with gold it looks bad about his home decor it's the white house you made
there was people
complaining he made the white house look tacky it looks beautiful yeah well
also who cares you don't
live there i don't give a shit well they just don't want him doing that they
don't want him like
didn't he do it with his own money and stuff i mean they've always done that
and taft put a he invented the hot tub on accident because he was like that tub
won't fit me i'm too
fat oh really yeah and then they forever like people will go oh it didn't taft
even that big fat
guy got stuck in a tub and it's not true he was just a big guy made a funny
joke and for now like
now all these young people like oh yeah taft the big fat guy they got stuck in
a tub it's not true
he accidentally made a he just made a a modification to the white house and it
basically invented a hot tub
people are also upset that he's making a ballroom you see he's making this
giant ballroom
it's all right it doesn't bother and he found out you're allowed to yeah and
then uh care he goes
he he goes uh what's the deal with permits they're like you don't have to get
any permits you're the
president you can just build it he's like he's like amazing as a real estate
guy he's like that's
fucking great for a guy like that it's like you just gave him the coolest
fucking present ever he
can make a beautiful beautiful ballroom and people are so mad and they were
saying that it was a
waste of taxpayer money but it turns out it's not it's not it's all donations i
think you can look
this up but i think obama spent like 350 million dollars of taxpayer money
making modifications to
the white house i think that's true too and like did you no one cared and i don't
care about that
either i'm not using that as a what about i'm saying i also don't care that obama
did it i don't
give a shit can i get a receipt right 350 million dollars what did you do like
what cost 350 million
dollars to a house that's already standing could you imagine if you're a
construction guy
gave you a bill like that like yeah i just want to fix it up nice let's do all
this and then send me
a bill and you get a bill it's 350 million dollars you're like hey i need to
talk to the foreman here
here's the thing about the white house it's not that big right it's not that
big dude there's some
pretty beautiful houses for 1.5 that's a whole house a whole house yeah 350
million dollars is so much
money did you make another house underneath the house what happened yeah how
did that happen a
tunnel to a giant arena that's under the ground maybe the guy gets 500 grand an
hour to do the
construction or something because i don't understand doing it at the white
house yeah he needs to get
paid more it's like weddings you know they're like uh they're like uh i'd like
to buy a cake and they
go sure forty dollars he goes for my wedding five thousand dollars they just
change the price you
what i needed a bunch of flowers you gave me a great rate but then the second
is for wedding
those flowers are now like this crazy maybe that's what it is white house
prices yeah because they
know it's taxpayer money but 350 million dollars seems like real excessive i'd
like to know what they
did didn't one of the was it nixon or somebody made like a bowling alley in
there nice yeah
that's a cool thing to be able to put in there is that what they do like you're
allowed to just
you're going to be there for four years put a bowling alley i think you get to
i don't know if that's
true but somebody put a bowling alley in over a pool or something i read but
also i didn't care i just
go sure if i was president i'd probably make some adjustments you see he took biden's
photo down and
put a picture of the auto pen up oh i did see that yeah yeah i didn't know if
it was real i have a real
struggle with like what i see is real or not it might not be real let's find
out if it is real i
think it is real though i think that's what i heard obama's era project covered
renovations trump's
knocked down 376 uh okay 376 million dollar cost to improve the east and west
wings infrastructure
uh peck described the project as largely underground utility work doesn't do a
whole lot of good to
have a building that's sort of an image of the free world standing up there and
not functioning well
peck told cnn when questioned about the cost bloomberg news reported in 2010
the obama renovation was the
biggest white house upgrade since president harry truman was in office 48 to 52
truman oversaw the
white house historic gutting renovation and expansion in response to
significant structural issues that
at one point resulted in the leg of his daughter piano breaking through the
floor trump's project with
the first major exterior change of the white house in 83 years historic
preservationists say
you know i read that and i just said oh my god because the leg of his daughter
and then it's the leg of
his daughter's piano i know i read it too i was like oh no just the piano broke
yeah that was very deceptive
the way they've typed that just the piano leg yeah yeah i thought it was his
daughter's leg
piano went through the floor one of the piano legs went through the not the
daughter like the daughter's
leg's fine why you bring her up you're freaking me out she's not in this story
i thought a kid broke her leg
i was panicking it's just a fucking stupid piano but that uh that building's
not that big so i guess
that makes more sense though they had to do like crazy underground
infrastructure
shit that probably i would wonder what's under the white house heating cooling
and fire alarm
systems that hadn't been updated since 1902 or 1934 still i'd like to see a
receipt
also i'm feeling ripped off i used to always say i don't think that any
president ever
is at the white house because they go to the white house but they don't live
there like yeah they do
you think that they live there they do they have a residency well i think there's
like a tunnel to
a different place that there's another building yeah they live in that building
because why would you
want to put the most powerful person in america in the most famous address in
america people ideas
well it's the secret service you know we keep them secret don't give them ideas
it is weird because
you know where he sleeps all the time right that's crazy you you have more
security in anonymity than
knowing where someone powerful is like that's crazy even no matter how much
security you have
the secret is the best part of it that's why secret service is good you want a
secret address
you want a secret home you want to move them around yeah don't have them in the
same spot every
night i think the white house is called the famous the most famous address in
america like
they say it's the most famous address it is the most so why would you put
someone so powerful
in the most famous like i just think that like i even when i was like in high
school i was like
i bet that they i'd like to think that we're not keeping the president in a
place that everyone knows
about yeah but they do uh hopefully no one's listening to this and you gave
them an idea i hope not
either violence is bad that's the that's the point do you remember back in the
obama administration
when that crazy person broke into the white house yeah got pretty far didn't
you have a bit about it
yeah yeah there was a lady guarding the door without a gun yeah what are we
doing that is
crazy that's so crazy might have given someone some ideas like i could get
pretty far bro they got that
guy got all the way in if it wasn't for a off-duty secret service guy who saw
that guy running through
the fucking white house and he tackled him he just happened to be there he wasn't
even on duty what
do they think just like well no one's no one's gonna break yeah like well who
would do that
that's crazy we're fine yeah it's so crazy the people that have never been
around crazy people
they don't know why lobotomies were done in the first place that's true back
then people were like
enough of mike right we gotta slow mike down or that you see like uh like you
work at like a homeless
place and you go oh i kind of get it right yeah you go yeah you could kind of
go oh these people i don't
know i don't know you know they've done so much stuff and drugs and they've
traumas and all that
and you just kind of go i could see how in the olden times they would go these
people are broken let's
you know especially if they're not medicated like there's out and out like
hardcore mental illness
involved in most of the homelessness you know a large percentage of it at least
yeah which is a
controversial statement but it's a hundred percent true well the mental illness
leads to the drug
addiction drug addiction self the self-medicating you know it's a lot of trauma
a lot of things a
lot of factors but the answer to that isn't just let them camp right let them
be in front of your
house whacking off shouting bomb threats like that's not ignoring it isn't the
solution yeah not
talking about it is not the solution yeah yeah i don't think lobotomy is the
way to go but i don't
i don't know i just meant like in the 30s they would see that and go you know
let's put this guy in a
room on the 30s i've had people in the there was a bunch of people that were in
shanty towns in new
york city back during the depression oh yeah the depression was so bad that new
york city had like
you know like these little handmade houses like that people had built you ever
seen any of that stuff
see if you can find shanty towns from new york city from the great depression
yeah man it must have been
so dangerous i mean it's basically homeless encampments in the middle of
central park and
there's no jobs man yeah no jobs and there's no fucking the depression
not wild not crazy man imagine living out there how dangerous that would be
that's downtown denver
right there and that's all because of the motherfucking bankers that's all
because of the bankers they
crashed the stock market that's crazy i was just hearing something really crazy
where someone was
making a connection between rockefeller and um alcohol being uh during prohibition
that one of the competing fuel sources back then was ethanol i don't even know
if this is true but
that rock you know rockefeller had control of oil and they were using oil to
make pharmaceutical drugs
so like most of the drugs that people buy the reason why they started doing it
that way is because
rockefeller because he had control of the oil and this was saying that he
wanted to stop them
people from using ethanol so he wanted he thought the best way to do that was
to make it so that no
one could have the ability to produce alcohol and the best way to do that is to
make a prohibition
about alcohol but really sounds crazy it says it's a myth computer let's see
why they say it's a myth
john d rockefeller is often blamed for using prohibition to eliminate ethanol
as a competing fuel source
to gasoline from his standard oil business but this is a myth rockefeller
supported the temperance
movement primarily for religious and social reasons okay that's the excuse that's
publicly stated
that he supported alcohol prohibition for religious and social reasons
believing alcohol consumption was
harmful and aiming for a more productive workforce so this is the problem that
this is not quotes this is like
someone's saying why this guy supported banning alcohol and not yes he did work
to ban alcohol and
yes he did benefit from it because ethanol was taken out that's that is true so
ethanol as a fuel was not
banned it's saying uh explicitly allowing even promoted the use of high proof
alcohol for scientific research
fuel or other lawful industries during prohibition ethanol as a fuel was not
banned in fact some
industrialists including rockefeller dabbled in ethanol fuel production henry
ford also pursued ethanol fuel
development during this time okay so i take back what i said so it's not that
it was banned so that
doesn't make any sense then um it would make sense
if somehow or another but could you if you were using ethanol though the thing
is
like if you stop people from making their own alcohol if you make it illegal to
make your own alcohol you
definitely can't make your own fuel and then you can't use ethanol because you
can actually make
ethanol with corn that's how they make it so i could see how you would say if
you wanted to sell more
gasoline you would make it so people can't make their own fermentation and you
can't make your own
alcohol and one of the best ways to stop people from making their own alcohol
would be the prohibition
of alcohol you know i'm saying yeah like it doesn't seem that clean to me that
looks like a little
squirrely like he supported a prohibition of alcohol because of morals but yet
he was like really
involved in a lot of shady shit that seemed like he was very control those
religious beliefs were
sidelined yeah man the it also he had a part in the structuring of the
education system to make
people good little factory workers yeah get them up early get them get them to
school quickly before
the parents can like give them any sense of how the world really works right
and then brainwash them
bring them in get them in there and make good workers out of them he was a big
part of that as
well like that guy had a lot of power yeah that's he'd have been an interesting
guy in politics so it's not
true that he that ethanol that they prohibited it but it is true that they kind
of eliminated people
making their own alcohol and if you're not if people aren't like making engines
from ethanol because
most people are using gasoline at the time it seems like they don't have the
materials yeah it'd be a
good way to stop people from making their own gas and then you'll sell more gas
i tried to buy something
recently uh because i had like a chest cough and they're like you should get
this shit and then i
went to the riot aid or whatever it was and they're like oh that's behind the
counter so go up and ask
her for she needs my id she beeps my id and i go why she goes oh because enough
of this you can make
meth and i go really she goes yeah so we have to like make sure that the person
like that it's kind of
documented who bought it and how much like pseudofed right yeah i think that
yeah something like that and
then i was like uh oh shit then i need a 700 of these yeah uh but like i didn't
even know that's
how guys were making meth you gotta regulate all that kind of stuff you imagine
how bad that meth
was you get some assholes that go to the grocery store and just clean up the
the pharmaceutical aisle
that's the sad part about addiction man you'll see like these homeless guys
drinking mouthwash you're
like how bad has it got that you're just like chugging listerine like in an
alley to get drunk like
that's i mean that's a that's what if it's a really good buzz i mean i
guarantee it's a good buzz
like and your breath's great imagine a listerine buzz
imagine a listerine buzz i mean sometimes i have to keep i don't drink anymore
but sometimes i would have
tequila and that felt like mouthwash you know you have like a shitty cheap tequila
and you go
do you know a large percentage tequila apparently is fake it's not made with agave
really yeah there
was a big scandal see if you can find anything on but it still got people drunk
oh yeah yeah yeah but
i think the scandal was that people were saying that it was like real tequila
like legit tequila made
from agave yeah but it wasn't yeah it's just like fucking some shitty alcohol
yeah some nonsense
they go that counts it's tequila i know but i mean i guess scammers probably
thought like if they were
scammers so who knows who's doing it along the way maybe it's the manufacturer
maybe it's the original
person who knows but they didn't think someone was gonna check yeah it's kind
of strange i i think
about all those kind of things like i remember they were doing this big
campaign they're like mcdonald's
uses real beef now i'm like what were they using like what do you mean like if
the tequila company
would now market like no this is now real tequila you'd be like what were we
drinking this is a
proposed class action lawsuit filed in the u.s district court for the eastern
district of new
york goes on to allege that both brands fail to meet the regulatory
requirements to label themselves
as 100 agave in mexico and the united states even though they carry that
distinction on their labels
so what are these brands click on that link where it says those brands oh casamigos
and don julio top
shelf significant amounts of non-agave alcohol despite being labeled as 100 agave
customers named
the suit claim that they purchased the products under the assumption that tequilas
were made exclusively
from blue weber agave and paid prices reflective of that premium designation
somebody was cutting the
product son yeah that's how it goes and no one's paying history repeating
itself over and over and
over and those are big ones those are like i didn't expect it to be something i've
heard of but here's
the question who did it right you got to follow that web to go okay where did
that money come from
is it that guy is it like a manufacturer is it someone who's in the plant is it
someone are they
skimping are they ripping them off like what who did it yeah who did it it's
you know i mean if you're
an asshole and you're running the distillery and you're like fuck those don julio
people we have to
like i and you're like i know how to make it better i can make more money and
then he skims we're
gonna need a hundred grand for it only tossed 40 greedy greedy yeah yeah who
knows who knows it's
probably a tangled web of scumbags that were using the company to make money
when i first worked at
giggles comedy club the owner like we didn't really have a green room we're
just kind of in the back
where all like the soda tubes are going from the boxes of syrup and all the
bottles of alcohol back
there and uh he had one bottle of every kind of like top shelf liquor but he
would just pour
shitty liquor in there like with funnels like totally against the law just like
funneling like the cheapest
tequila he could get in like the finest tequila bottle and then when people
would people would
constantly bring it back like this tastes wrong he goes you saw me pour it from
the bottle and they're
like yeah i guess i don't know like what but i watched him do that so many
times that's hilarious
yeah because he could charge like this you know crazy amount and he'd just get
the shittiest
cheapest tequila from like costco or wherever the heck that's so gross i know
that's so how many
people do that all over the world there's a lot of that going on there was
there was a great documentary
about that it's called uh sour grapes and it's all about these wine guys that
got duped they were
buying this wine it was like thomas jefferson's wine it was like some dude was
making it some dude in
century city was like making the the labels over the bottles like dirt on them
and yeah he was
totally doing that that's funny and he was mixing a bunch of cheap wine to try
to come up with this
flavor weird like it's always this was it a big wine guy like oh yeah oh really
oh dude he he this
is how he fucked up he ripped off the coke brothers too big like yeah and they
had they bought some
old ass like thomas jefferson wine and it wasn't real and then they also had
some magnums from a
company that never made magnums during that year they're during that era and
this actual wine guy
saw their cellar and sort of what is this right and he says that's this and
that he goes no no they
don't do that this is not from that this is fake and he's like what and so then
they have a lot of
resources obviously so they're like release the house and then they you know
they caught him they
get enough evidence that they can raid this guy's house and so when they raid
this guy's house they
find like a whole manufacturing thing he's got dirt and water he's rubbing it
on the labels he's
like making the labels old and shit hilarious he's reusing old labels from wine
that he had bought
somewhere else and re-corking it and sealing it oh it's total scumbag and he
sold millions of
dollars worth of like fugazi wine to all these dorks that are like these dorks
yeah and they're all
ah i spent this much on this yeah it has a an essence of tannin there's a a woody
a woody
aftertaste almost chocolate ah i tasted chocolate i wish who caught him was a
sommelier like someone who
was actually like no this tastes like shit and like i'd be like oh it's real
like there there is one
someone yay in that documentary that these other guys were like sniffing it
going this is this is the real
stuff right the other guy gets it he goes no this is crap what is this i love
that and the but which
is like a huge insult to the other fellows like oh i don't and they don't want
to say they got duped
no no no this is the best the best grapes during the best year i have it i have
the grape can't you
taste the hint of costco you don't taste the box on this one you don't taste
trader joe's that's hilarious
what a weird it's a weird thing man but it's a fascinating documentary because
it shows you what
that thing really is it's like this weird club that they all belong to where
they get real nerdy
about a a flavor that's not that good right it's not that but you want the
finest so you believe the
best wine is not as nearly as good as kool-aid that is far superior to the best
wine ever yeah but it's
not exclusive you know kool-aid it's like such a weird thing that some of it is
so expensive and
so revered that they have auctions for it the autograph world is full of a
bunch of bull crap
like that like if you collect athletes autographs and stuff i'm friends with
the the guys at icon
autograph and san diego or whatever and they're great guys but like i'll send
them a photo of a
thing and be like this is selling at this like you know it you know hotel lobbies
they have those you
know when you walk in it'll be like a photo of taylor swift framed and it's
just like cut her
autograph on it it's selling for like five thousand dollars or whatever and i
sent him a thing because
i the item was so unique that i was like this is pretty special it was a
baseball autograph by joe
dimaggio and marilyn monroe to have both those names like on the baseballs like
this there's no way
this is at a silent auction right now for like a thousand bucks i sent it to my
autograph guy and he goes
dude there's like one of those in the world and it sold at auction for like
millions or whatever
so this guy just somebody like you like the guy you're describing putting dirt
on the yeah thought
he could pull one over and probably did i mean i didn't go whistleblow or
anything but like he
definitely did someone just wrote joe dimaggio on a baseball and marilyn monroe
and put it in a fancy
case and you know some schmuck has that right now in his living room telling
everybody about this
ball he bought committed suicide a week after this story went viral over the
summer oh my
god he admits a counterfeiting over 350 million dollars in gear after police
raid warehouses
and then he killed himself the dealer says the scheme grew to be an addiction
wow what did he uh all
sorts of fake autographs oh yeah oh my god stuff biggest names in sports all
sorts of bullshit so of
course there's a lot of that oh dude tons of it yeah people repacking things of
course you're always
gonna have that that's wild yeah it's just what well i guess people's risk
reward is fascinating to me
too like you know about the chauncey billups thing what's that he's a he was
the head coach he's a
hall of fame oh this is the nba thing yeah hall of famer the money scam and
then he's the coach of the
portland trailblazers so you have money coming in you're not desperate and then
you're gonna risk your
entire reputation you're gonna risk your entire uh you know bank account by
doing gambling and doing
all this like dumb shit i'm like why would like at that point you think no more
risks like like
you're pretty good why why do corruption why have like all this like gambling
nonsense it makes no
sense to me i get it if my friend does it who's broke and is like dude i had to
like pull some
bullshit you know his times are tough this guy's the head coach for the portland
trailblazers what are you
doing i think people get addicted to just pulling things off that's what that
one was saying is that
this guy said he was like yeah that's why yeah well people are nuts man like
the gambling addiction is
a weird one man and i think some of those guys maybe they get a bunch of losses
and then they want
to get it back by rigging a game you know what i mean but they want to make it
like so they definitely
are going to win and they feel funny that it's like fun to get over like you
rigged a game tricked
them yeah yeah there's two baseball players for the cleveland indians right now
or uh video where he accidentally struck people out and he's pissed yeah you go
strike these two
players they'll never throw balls yeah for five thousand dollars a pitch uh
which is you know
kind of chump change to guys who make 30 million a year you know like that's
not like that's good money
for me but that's not good money for these guys and they're like supposed to
throw a ball at a
certain time or walk a player like they were doing these different things and
they caught them you know
these guys oh so the prop bets thing is the weird one right yeah and that's
what makes it weird that
like draft kings and all these things are such a big part of sports now right
because there's you're
just gonna have organized criminals that get involved in that and exploit it
there's a ufc problem right
now oh really yeah yeah ufc fight um so this is a story a lot of uh the ufc has
an organization i
i don't know what organization they use maybe you could find out jamie um that
monitors unusual
betting activity right any fight so the moment there's any unusual betting
activity spikes they
contact the ufc the ufc contacts this fighter says hey you're the favorite to
win this fight there's a
very a lot of unusual betting activity on you to lose like are you okay is
everything fine are you
injured no no i'm fine i'm gonna kill this fucking guy okay has anybody
contacted you about this fight
no so he goes out loses in the first round gets submitted rear naked choke
doesn't look good
immediately the ufc says we called the fbi so good now apparently there's an
investigation of many
fights right and there's a web it seems like of people that have contacted
fighters and said i will
give you x amount of dollars if you lose this fight yeah and a bunch of people
have said no to it
and publicly talked about how they said no to it you know good really good
fighters and uh even went on
to lose the fight you know unfortunately and and didn't get the money but we're
open about it yeah
so it's one like patchy mix who is uh he was bellator champion came over to the
ufc and he said that
someone i think he said somebody offered him seventy thousand dollars or
something like that to lose a
fight something something crazy i might be wrong if it was him that said that
number it might have been
someone else but so they're offering dudes like a big pile of cash to lose to a
fighter that they might
have lose might lose to him anyway right you know like it's probably a tight
matchup anyway but if you
definitely lose so what do you do you don't fight as hard you you make mistakes
you do something stupid
you know you uh you let them take your back right get choked out and if you're
good at defense you
might be able to as long as you're getting submitted you know you're not
probably not going to get hurt that
bad and you'll be able to make an extra 70 grand when you might be getting 10
000 to fight
right so now all of a sudden you got 80 grand uh i don't agree with it
obviously i think it's
fucking terrible and it's are you allowed to bet on yourself to win is that a
thing well i know fighters
have in the past because that i would be fine ufc fighters right now are not
capable of betting uh on
the ufc i think uh it's not just the fighters but the commentators the coaches
referees everybody no
one's supposed to be betting on the ufc because there was another betting
scandal and so the other
betting scandal was this guy who is a active mma fighter and a really good
coach and he got accused of
using this discord server and they were running like a gambling discord server
and a bunch of money
came in on this dude to lose in the first round and he went out there and he
lost in the first round
and the word was that he was hurt and that it had been expressed to these
people bet against him because
he's going to lose in the first round and a lot of people made money so this
guy gets investigated the
ufc bans him i don't know what the status of his case is um but they also
banned the fighters that
were training out of that gym um i think so i don't know if this guy see if
this guy who just got in
trouble if he was connected to that gym the gym i was is james kraus's gym yeah
because i would be like
fine with if they want to bet to win you're like i love that right i love that
too the thing is easy to
trace when you you were talking about like prop bets and stuff like that losing
the first round you
could just definitely lose in the first round and everybody makes a hundred
thousand dollars
you know what i mean like some people are going to take that right especially
if a guy is like
pretty good but realistically he's not going to be a world champion you know
maybe you're 32 maybe you've
got a lot of maybe you're mike tyson fighting jake paul you might have alimony
you have to pay off you
might have child support you have to pay off yeah you're in debt and that's why
you're fighting in
the first place and someone comes along and they you're out of the hole now you're
going to get a
hundred thousand dollars to throw and they're just going to bet a ton of loot
on you right and they're
going to hope nobody notices but i guess now people are noticing it and you can
kind of see if
someone's not fighting back and that was the thing about this fight i got to
see it obviously when
i knew the controversy i didn't see it live so i didn't have fresh eyes you
know i didn't see it
live and go god why is that guy fighting off the choke so badly there's a bunch
of nba guys some
some instagram account it's really good he found excuse me no no just dry mouth
dry throat have a
sip of water i got nothing why you sip the water yes he was um we have
previously coached by james
say that again james he was previously coached by james okay so this guy who's
allegedly through this
fight was also coached by this guy who was involved in the betting scandal so
that's why computers are
good it's like those kind of little things where you can find that like oh this
is on like computers
help in that way for sure that's a tangled web if you're involved with people
that are making money
gambling and not on the square so the thing is if you're just gambling on the
square if you just
watch a fight like pereira versus uncle i have two and you say i like pereira
to get that title back i'm
gonna fucking i'm gonna put my money where my mouth is i'm putting too large
too large on poeton let's
go that should that's totally fine and fun yeah but when it gets to you have a
prelim fighter and he's
only making 10 grand and someone offers them you're gonna get choked in the
first round and it's like
okay i got it i got it i got it and the opponent probably doesn't even know
right this guy has to
figure out a way to give this guy's back right oh that's kind of funny he's
like leading him yeah
you have to give it to him you have to give it to him pete there's been fights
like that there's
been fixed fights for sure oh for sure has to be especially in boxing oh it's
weird because those
boxers are their lives are so tough i mean well they've always done that
throughout history guys have
taken dives you know especially if you weren't connected enough you know if you
were a guy that
wasn't with a big-time manager who had a big-time lawyer and probably mob ties
ties yeah they all
had mob right you had to have mob i'm gonna lose a fight if the whole mob's
gonna kill my wife or
something bro you don't think rocky marciano had mob ties for sure if you're
the heavyweight champion
of the world and you're italian all the mobsters want to be your friend and you're
a boxer you know they
love that flatlining everybody it's funny to find out how many of these old
guys didn't even like
the sports they just liked all the money part of it well marciano talked about
it like that like
it was it's just my job yeah but that guy was the freakiest training person i've
ever heard of in
boxing like the freakiest training regiment it was crazy like part of what made
marciano so good
was that he never got tired because he had this insane work ethic and he lost
one fight when he was
younger uh i think in the amateurs because he got tired and he decided after
that fight he was never
going to lose a fight ever because he got tired so he just put himself through
this
fucking insane routine where he would get up in the morning before any training
he would run 10 miles
he would do his training he would hit the heavy bag for hours and then he would
swim miles in the lake
after training he would spar 100 rounds a week he would just get to the point
where you know we're
talking about redlining yeah and he did the same thing he redlined to the point
where he couldn't
do it anymore and then he retired undefeated but does that red line that kind
of thing that he was
doing you can't do forever and i watched this video about the other day i'm
like this is bananas just to
watch that guy's work ethic and back when nobody had anything you have no creatine
there's no vitamins
you know i think about when you say the redlining thing and maybe it's just
because i'm influenced by his
like the videos he posts and the things he does but every time i know michael
chandler
and like every time like i see this guy like he's like oh you're in arizona
like swing by the gym
and he's like throwing the thing again like he's just always it's like in this
like he's i'm going to
shoot a tv show tomorrow but i gotta work out it like he's always so tremendous
discipline full
on yeah like i've never seen him going i'm taking a month off or we're going to
the pool that's why
he's still elite at 38. he's awesome i believe he's 38 now right how old is
michael chandler
i believe he's 38 um but that's why he's so elite he's never gotten out of
shape 39 39 because that
guy people don't even know about the wars that he got in with eddie alvarez
when they were at bellator
the greatest fights in mma history went unseen by a giant chunk of mma fans
because they didn't pay
attention to bellator right but this the eddie alvarez michael chandler fights
in bellator were
nuts really i mean not play a clip of it i mean nuts like from the opening bell
two mad
fucking roosters just attacking each other it is it's so wild those bellator
guys read
lining because they just wanted to get to ufc like they're still climbing the
ladder they're
still in the hunt well they were just these guys just redlined their entire
career eddie alvarez
went on to become a ufc um uh lightweight champion when he beat jafael dos anjos
huge upset eddie
alvarez is a fucking beast um but these two guys from the opening of the first
fucking seconds of the
fight look this is the beginning of the fight chandler's just right throwing
himself at him just
sprinting at him drops him bro drops him again look at this crazy alvarez
survived somehow and he fires
back bro these fights are nuts the fights i think they had that i know they
definitely had two i don't
think they had three but in the the two fights that they had together were
fucking insane i mean the
entire pace of the fight was fought like this he's awesome and they're really
evenly matched it was a
really good match looks a little bigger than him well chandler's a fucking tank
dude dude challenge the
best and he's got crazy wrestler power from the legs you know so when he leaps
at you like when he
knocked out dan hooker he lunges at you like he's shooting a double and throws
a left hook at the same time
when he he knocked out dan hooker in his ufc debut who's a really respectable mma
fighter a very good
fighter but he just got caught find that one jamie find um michael chandler ko's
dan hooker because
this was his ufc debut and again dan hooker is like an elite fighter which is
one of the reasons why it
was so impressive and the fight starts out and chandler does the same fucking
this is his first fight in
the ufc the same shit he did in bellator he just charges forward i love it i
mean this is how he
always fights it's do or die that's why this guy's lost a ton of times but he's
still a huge fan
favorite it's because you know you're gonna see this i mean he's just throwing
a watch yeah for sure
a big kick
he's just so dangerous man because everything is a hundred percent
that's throwing that low cap kick three or four times and hasn't really landed
it's all
yet dan's landed that one hurt oh that one hurt that was just one two
here comes and look at the oh big knock down for michael chandler big right
hand dan's hurt
oh my god it's over bro that's a wrap bro and then he does a backflip off the
top of the cage
bro that's a freak dude freak athlete i met him so i was doing a prank show for
mtv called money from
strangers which was kind of like impractical jokers but way darker like we were
like a lot edgier
it was before money or before impractical jokers and so they'd always send me
to like
mtv movie awards or any kind of those things and i was like i don't live in new
york they're gonna send
a car i get to go on a red carpet whatever i'll drink it'll i'll make it fun
and they happen to be
behind me the bellator guys happen to be the next guys in the red carpet line
and the way the red
carpet works is no one cares about us at all they're just waiting to get like miley
cyrus or
beyonce or whoever the hell it is so like we're basically the photos they're
taking are just
something we're gonna save off the internet because no one gives a shit they
were like all bellador guys
so people at this movie awards don't necessarily care these guys are behind me
and they're like
this guy's fun because i'm making all these jokes and like goofing around and i
was already kind of
like buzzed up and so then that michael chandler and these two other like bellator
guys uh brog the
predator you know he is no he was a bellator guy too cleveland guy okay big guy
he's awesome too but
anyways these three guys and they were like this is kind of dumb and i was like
yeah this shit's kind of
gay i don't want to be here you know and then they were like let's just go
drink and so we just drank
and met people and hung out and they're like want to get subway and we got in a
car and got and got
subway and just hung out with these dudes all night and i've been pals with
them ever since oh that's
awesome yeah but it's like i didn't really know what they did i just kind of
knew that they were like
fighter guys and so like i thought they were in ufc at that time and they weren't
they were in uh
whatever was paying really well and bellator had a pretty good following for a
while i mean it was
doing really well there was some real elite fighters out of bellator and a lot
of guys like they came
over to the ufc because they became famous famous in bellator like ben askren
he came over from from
bellator he actually did a stint at one fc before he came to ufc eventually but
there's a lot of guys
that never came over you know yeah unfortunately like douglas lima douglas lima
at one point in time
was one of the best welterweights alive and you know he was the bellator
champion he's like the
only guy that's ever knocked out michael venom page do they have like an mma
hall of fame
yes there's a ufc hall of fame and i think there's an mma one too maybe the mma
awards i don't know
because that sucks there's a ufc hall of fame though yeah but that's ufc guys i
know yeah it sucks
i know um some guys they they wait too long in these other organizations
unfortunately
and the reality of the sport is you know there's a bunch of different
organizations you can compete
for and i think if the pfl's paying you more money go to the pfl do whatever
whatever you want to do
but if you really want to be the world champion you have to be the ufc champion
that's just how it is
right now it's like major league that's how it's like in boxing if if you're
the undisputed champion
you have all belts then you're terence crawford but if you're like a wba
champion and there's
also a wbc champion and an ibf champion that's too confusing to the average
person right and for
most people the ufc is what for good or for bad they're just just a i'm just
saying that's just how
most people think of it that's how i probably annoyed them that night because i
was like oh you
guys are ufc guys and they're like uh we're bellator yeah you don't go looking
for cotton swabs you go
buy q-tips you look for q-tips that's what it is you're not just watching pro
football you're
watching the nfl absolutely and if you're so bored you're watching the xfl you
start canadian
football league i gotta go to the gun range or something i gotta clear my head
yeah what would
happen to me i gotta do something different but i feel like that's just for
better for worse it's just
how it is that's how it is in america we don't have a lot of attention span and
if it's going to be
elite fighting it's got to be there's like one organization that we follow
sorry yeah and i
follow them all i follow everything i try to pay as much attention to muay thai
as i do to boxing as i
do to wrestling and jujitsu tournaments i try to pay attention to everything
just because i want to know
like who's coming up who's good what's new what different things are people
trying that they've never
done before did you see holly holm did wrestling bro she's a fucking athlete
she's the best that lady's
an athlete well after her fights mike winklejohn used to like like she used to
stand on his hands
and do a backflip after all of her fights it's amazing see if you can find that
it's crazy she
would win and then she was just at a place to watch wrestling and then there
was something she could
sign up for and she's like fuck it i'll do it bro and they just and they were
like really because
she's famous so they were like we'll we'll let you be part of it she goes sure
and she did and she
was just like the second they said her name everyone cheered it was like not
like a huge grandiose
plan thing there's no contract there was no anything she just did it it's like
this year
she's texting me about it i go what like did they go crazy and she's like no
like it was i mean like
it was just fun it was a fun thing i thought why not yeah that's the thing well
show that again
watch she's the best watch how they do this yeah so cool that was the thing
they would do after all
her fights well she had a fucking back muscles son
that's crazy yeah what she said oh she said the guy like her manager whoever
she asked about it
briefly was like he was like well what if you get hurt and and her the this is
great she goes
yeah but what if i win and i was like what a great response and he's like fuck
it let her do it
and so she did it and i was like that is the coolest thing that's why what a
mentality multi-sport
martial arts champion she's the best she was a champion in kickboxing you know
she had a champion
in boxing women's boxing and mma every she did the full trifecta yeah she's
kind of crazy and she's
a really nice lady too that's what i like about her yeah she's a sweetheart i
don't know a lot of
fighters those i named all the fighters i know michael chandler and holly home
that holly home fight
with ronda rousey was nuts that was in australia and it was a huge crowd like a
massive arena man and
when she landed that head kick and you realize that ronda was out and then she's
hammer fisting
everyone yeah it just didn't even it was like when mike tyson got beat remember
when mike tyson you
were too young but when i was a kid buster douglas when buster douglas beat
mike tyson i saw it
i heard about it i didn't watch it i saw a tape of it and i still thought he
was going to get up
you knew the outcome i was like he gets up he doesn't lose there's no way there's
no way now i remember
that for sure because mike tyson was larger than life and he was so like one of
those celebrities
that like you knew everything he was doing stars shined really brightly back
then there was like
michael jackson you knew michael jordan you knew michael jackson you knew they
would go out yeah they
would go to places and people big deal yeah mike tyson i remember being in the
kingdom watching a
baseball game it was the same night i was a little boy and they put on the
screen that mike tyson was
disqualified for biting evander holyfield's ear and the whole stadium reacted
like i mean like
they didn't interrupt a baseball game but they put it up there because the news
was so large
like it was a very big deal bro you bit him twice that was crazy i watched the
first fight today
i watched the first evander holyfield why did you watch it today i just felt
like watching it i love that i do
that like when i'm in the gym i'll pick like an old fight yeah i'll put it on
and uh i put on that
fight i was like wow that was a crazy fight i can't work out unless david goggins
is calling me a
pussy in my headset that's all i listen to you don't know me son dude it's the
best like i every time
i'm where i was at equinox this morning i had david goggins in my thing just
going you're a piece of
of shit you can do better jeff you can be bigger
goggins is the best that's what i listen to or those kind of like youtube
things where they compile
you know it's like just all motivation stuff with music over you don't seem
like a guy who needs
motivation you just do it for fun i like it yeah and it keeps me in the mindset
i always channel all
of it back to like stand-up comedy you know because like i'm working towards
something i'm in the hunt
i'm climbing and so like they could be talking about a battle and war and i'm
still like yep
that's what i'm what's next i'm gonna yeah i'm climbing you know i'm still
hungry yeah that's a
fun time it's a fun thing to do yeah you know the fact that you get to do it
when also like otherwise
i just sleep till noon or sleep till one you know but like if i have that i'm
like no i gotta get up
and write or i gotta get up and you know here's the question you you're doing
this obviously you're
doing this for the love of the thing and you said that if you didn't need money
and you didn't even
get paid money you would still do it and i think the same way i would do it too
but what do you think
about the idea of universal basic income because this is something that is
being discussed with
automation and with ai and we were having a conversation about the other day
with elon and
he was saying that he thinks that ai can generate so much productivity that you
could have universal high
income and then i went wait okay am i are we married to this idea that
everything that you do in life you
have to be doing just for money because that's what it is now if you're if you're
a professional
you're doing it for money if you're a professional podcaster if you're a race
car driver you're doing
it for money right why are we married to that and if you didn't need money and
no one needed money
would you just find a thing you love to do and would we be able to rewire our
brains and still have
some feeling of value and of uh identity and without being attached to an
occupation
like isn't it possible that we've just tricked ourselves into thinking that the
only way to live
is to live in a way where everything you're doing you're doing is for money
and then if it's just everybody does their best at things and enough money is
generated so that
basically everybody has like what he was saying a universal high income what
does that mean like is
that a feasible thing like what what is ai going to do with production what is
ai going to do with
automation resource extraction how much money is going to be generated that you're
going to be able to
literally have the entire population of the country under universal high income
is that even possible
and if it is what happens to people's desire what happens to their dreams what
do they just find a
thing like you and i have and do that and not care about money and really be
into the thing can't that
be taught if it's taught to you if you figured it out and i figured it out if
people have figured it
out they figured out like find a thing you love and you're never going to work
again because you're
going to love doing it whether it's building cars or painting or carpentry if
you really
fucking love doing it you do it because you love it right wouldn't that be a
better way to live
i know i know you can't do it i know i know no no no i know no no it wouldn't
work there's
too much money in the stock market i get it i get it wouldn't work but as a
thought experiment
wouldn't that be a way that's possible for people to live if it's possible for
you to live that way if
it's possible for me to live that way if it's possible to find enough people
that are willing
to do and love to do all the things that we need to keep a society running
i think the point of life in my opinion is is meaning you know so you associate
whatever
that means to you right so like a lot of people find meaning in being a mom or
a dad
that gives them enough that gives they they have that meaning or they have uh
they have a hammer to
hold on to like that like they need that meaning right i need comedy like that's
why when my brain
broke during covet is because i didn't have comedy i didn't have a outlet how
long did you go without
doing any comedy i mean realistically i only went a few days because i was
doing like zooms and i was
doing like underground things for rich guys i like i was the first comic me and
brad williams were the first
comics to go work in a comedy club with the new coveted restrictions we were
the because they knew if
they called me or brad we'd say yes like like i like keith stubbs called me
from salt lake goes
we're thinking about doing a show with all the restrictions and just see if the
if the government
shuts us down would you be willing to come and i was like yes i didn't even
talk about price i just go
yes like i because i need it now why do i need it because that's where i
personally find my meaning
now if i maybe was at home and going man i'm getting a lot more time with my
kids and i'm
getting a lot more time with my wife and like things are pretty productive
around here that's
where i would have put my meaning you know i think like and it's just where we
put it it's where we
kind of put it and i think so a lot of people find a lot of value in their jobs
that make them the
money but that's that gives them something to do don't you think yes i i do
think that but what
what you're saying about so if you just start giving them money what you're
saying about finding
meaning and having a family or finding me yes for sure but also i think the
human mind needs
activities right and i don't think it's just raising children only i think you
should probably have
things that you love to do as well right just for your own sanity but if you
didn't have to worry
about money you'd still be involved in this pursuit of stand-up comedy because
you love it all the
stuff that people do just for money like the guy who does the fucking septic
tanks that guy's not
having a good time he's smelling other people's shit all day he's pumping out
other people's
shit all day that can't be fun right we need him right we need him until the
robots come and then you
don't need him anymore so this is the point like what does that guy do to find
some sort of meaning
he's probably not finding meaning in pulling out of people's ground he's
probably would like to do
something different yeah yeah i mean i don't know i mean i'm so naive that i'm
like no that guy should
be proud of himself like like i'm really i look at plumbers like heroes like i'm
like dude the guy
that like fixed the electrical in my house i'm like i love you dude like
whatever i can pay you bro i had
a septic problem at my house once when one of my houses in california when i
first moved there and
it was so nasty when uh i would flush the toilet the bathtub would fill up and
i was like what is this
those are linked yeah well what it was was the septic system there was a pump i
was living on
a hill and the pump would pump it up the hill the poop water and then the pump
broke
and so they had to get in there and get the pump out in the poop water and put
a new and start and
that guy's my hero like that guy we need that guy that's a bud light commercial
real american
that's why i like cops like what you're saying earlier but the military the
nurses like they're
gonna send a robot to fix your poop pump the robot people a robot's gonna do it
and it's gonna
do it perfectly with ai and you're not gonna need a person to get covered in
shit water okay
and that guy's gonna get a lot of money just to sit at home but then what does
he do right that's
the thing yeah because i think a lot of it's going to happen really quickly
this is something that
andrew yang was uh talking about years ago and it was sort of i agree agree
with him but it was a
little abstract then and now this was way back was that 2020 when andrew yang
was running for president
i've never heard of andrew yang you don't know what's that was it 2016 it might
have been 2016.
you never heard of andrew um brilliant guy and had a very good 2020 um he had a
brilliant yeah i didn't
think it was that long ago um a great point about automation and that one day
automation is going to
remove a lot of jobs and including um drivers right like you're seeing it with
these wevos yeah so
there's that is like that's the first that's the first sounds that's the first
shot fired across the
bow of a crazy war where the robots are going to take all our jobs because that
is now you have
these tesla trucks that are automated and they can you know like my car my tesla
i just press a
button it right it does all the driving it does everything i don't have to do
shit i can literally
just sit there with my hands on the wheel and barely pay attention if i wanted
to i don't do it
i never do it either i have it and i don't do it yeah it's it's nuts so that's
going to be the future
and there's going to be no driving jobs and okay and then what about everything
else well everything
else manufacturing is it's out the window robots are going to do it 24 hours a
day they're going to
be more efficient no unions no health care no need for nothing right they're
never going to
up everything's going to be categorized they have sets these these uh mining
operations in china
where everything's automated there's no people working at all the trucks are
driving they're getting
recharged they're fucking picking up the coal they're moving the coal they're
bringing it somewhere
else it's all automated it's bananas man so that's just a massive eration or erasing
of jobs they're
just going to go away well the dot-com did that yeah but i think this is way
bigger dude i think this is
way bigger i think this happens and first everybody's like oh this sucks and it's
like oh my god this is
it's not stopping it's not stopping it's taking over everything it's going to
be all jobs there's
going to be no more need for lawyers no more accountants no more right coders
like all that
stuff's going to be done with ai it's going to get so weird if you're going to
college right now
because you could be going to college for something that's absolutely obsolete
in three years sure yeah
well but so i get that problem but there's someone's introducing an idea that
they just give money to
people for free so they don't because of this well here's the thing if that
becomes something that
controls everything which is really ultimately what it's probably going to do
controls all of our power
grid all of our waste management resources everything it's going to control
everything
it's going to generate insane amounts of wealth but the question is like how
does it even get
distributed that's the part that i don't how does that work who's got the money
if you're just giving
people money and then then they what now everyone's a trust fund kid in a way
you know they don't do
anything they just sit around and eat and what do you what do you get people
involved with to occupy their
time you know do you encourage them to join religious groups do you get them to
be involved
in games do we try to give people meaning yeah we are we all just going to sit
around and wait for
the robots to just take over and we're going to be the last civilization of
real people hundred years
from now they're going to be like i think i want to do what the robots do
people like what you know in
the old times you know people would actually have to do and then that maybe
there'd be like a movement
of that you know dude the terminator was accurate yeah oddly accurate remember
you you remember the
first time you saw that movie like this will never happen i'll tell you a funny
story about that
terminator i uh i was on mushrooms with my buddy randy and he forgot that he he's
had a long distance
girlfriend he forgot that he was going to call her and so we just ate you know
four grams of mushrooms
like a big like we just crushed him right it was coveted you know and uh we had
nowhere to be is the
point so we just we're going full journey you know we're gonna do a bunch and
uh we eat them we're
sitting there and then he he goes all right i forgot i was gonna call rachel
and i'm like all right but
it starts to kick in a little bit he left terminator on and then his gay
roommate is like on a first date
in the kitchen so there's two like cute guys like flirting with each other and
one of them barely
knows me and the other one doesn't know anybody in the apartment and i'm just
sitting there watching
terminator and like you can't be killed you know terminators like the bullets
are just going
through them and then the metal just kind of starts forming again and i'm just
sitting there i don't
know if i was there for 20 minutes i don't know if i was there for seven hours
and i'm just freaking
the out going god damn you can't kill these terminators and these gay guys keep
looking at me
and i don't know what randy's doing i thought he just abandoned me forever i
had like i can't
even watch terminator the same anymore luckily he came down and goes all right
let's go to the roof
and i said thank god you're here i went up there and talked about it all but
like i was freaking the
fuck out how long was he on the phone for don't know i'm gonna guess 15 20
minutes but it seemed
forever oh it seems so long and i'm just sitting there overthinking everything
and then also the
terminator like just seemed like so pointless i'm like why you can't kill it
just just surrender
you know you can't shoot through this thing well didn't it come back eventually
and become
a good guy in the later movies i don't know which version of the terminator i
was watching like if
it was t2 or t3 or whatever but it was how many have there been i don't know
how many it wasn't
the first one or terminators uh well fast and the furious didn't also become a
tv show i don't think
yet i just saw the new predator and it fucking rules terminated became a tv
show yeah when uh
no really did you see the new predator the sarah connor chronicles no i haven't
seen the new
predator dude it rules this was an eight 2008 huh i didn't watch it that looks
ridiculous that was
the thing as they made a lot they went down the rabbit hole with terminator but
there's probably
like six movies now i think i was watching like t2 or t3 to turn to turn to
salvation
there's all these six of them you know the last ones they're just just trying
to wring that towel
out and get a couple more drops of blood you ever seen the leprechaun movies
yes dude after a while
they're just like uh leprechaun goes to space leprechaun in the hood like it
was just literally
put the leprechaun in some setting it's funny that that one caught you know
like some things
catch and they become like cult classics the leprechaun movies were called
classics very good
yeah and the troll movie ever see the troll movie i saw troll 2 which is like
the worst film that's
ever been made have you seen that which one's there's no troll one they just
made troll 2
it's so bad it's phenomenal like it's absolutely the best the best watch if you
watch troll 2 you'll
watch the first scene or whatever and you'll go oh he's the worst actor i've
ever seen in my life
and then the next person will come in the scene you go oh no she's the worst
actor and it just
keeps going everyone is worse than the next person oh god so bad i think they
remade troll 2 and it's
coming out on netflix you're kidding i just googled troll 2 and there's a
trailer for a movie coming
out they made a documentary about it called best worst movie oh no and oh you're
kidding no this is
different yeah no i know these are pretty awesome it's called troll 2 i don't
know what the
it came from yeah but they're all have a big dick what is that it's his tail or
something yeah it's
got a tail it is weird that he doesn't have a dick though well it's like why
does he conveniently
have like animal skins over his dick 1990 was another one came out yeah so i
would imagine you
wouldn't would be totally comfortable being naked just who cares yeah you're
not modest you know
why are you gonna cover your giant dick yeah your giant bulletproof show it off
while you kill
people yeah swinging while you're stomping on people last thing to do is see
that helmet dropping
down that's why you lost your house look at the size of my cock yeah this is
ridiculous why would
he be vain or why would he be modest you know what's supposed to be really good
looks really good
is that new uh um frankenstein on netflix oh yeah the guillermo del toro yeah
yeah i haven't seen
that but yeah you don't like the predator movies they're good oh i liked uh the
prey one the pretty
good that was a good one yeah fun you know the command a lot of indians dying
in that you know
yeah it was kind of crazy that one felt weird this one i don't want to spoil
anything but they
definitely stray from the rules of being a predator but it's so good really it's
really good it's really
good yeah i loved it oh it's the one where the is she a robot she's a robot
which also makes it more
realistic that she's so like able to do everything anytime i'd start to feel
sexist like oh my gosh they did
this like girl power thing you're like no she's just a robot they made look
like a woman so it's not
like you have to feel like it's not you know whatever so this is predators
getting fucked up
here uh this so it's based off this one runt predator who's on that's why he
looks kind of weird and
all right don't spoil alert it no that's the that's what it is yeah i didn't
spoil anything but he's
like a little runt oh and so that's why he's out to prove himself like because
he's smaller than all
of them he's missing a fang he looks a little weird but that's because he's
supposed to look
weird because a lot of people are like this this this predator looks stupid
damn 85 percent on
tomatoes good that's interesting 93 like this movie no i loved it dude i like
when they can do that with
a movie you know you think like oh what is this gonna be right flip it on it's
how i felt
and every time there would be a thing where i'd start to criticize it like i'd
be like this feels like
mortal kombat and then in my mind i'd go jeff you love mortal kombat and i was
like all right
and then like the next part be like this is kind of star wars i'm like but i
love star wars so like
i kept like coaching myself and then after a while i was like this movie's
really good yeah you gotta
just enjoy things yeah that's what i tell people when i play ai music for them
like just forget about
the fact the robots are taking over this is great music this is a pattern of
every famous person i know
what'd you say jamie is tough but which one's tough great great is a weird it's
amazing how about that
it's very good that what up gangsta is amazing you know it is i just i've i've
gone on those rabbit
holes too watching cover songs though like my favorite cover song and finding
different bands
doing good versions of it they're real they're real listen the real bands are
better for sure because
it's a real band so it's a real person but i love listening to ai music i know
there's one going
i've never even heard of this there's enough it's not officially number one it's
like a weird
designation but there's a song that's number one on the country digital sales
chart by a completely ai
band well djs djs kind of did that two million listeners a month djs were kind
of like the first
version of that like they're putting in their robot and then like making the
songs and sampling
and stuff so this is just i mean it's not that far deviating this is way deviating
this is you could
change the kind of song like you could have it like a little charlie crockett a
little elvis presley
you could mix it they were like they're essentially drawing from all the songs
that have ever been
made so all the best sounds that anybody's ever sung has to be good it's
amazing it's so good it has
to be the way you just described it it will it has all the music we'll wrap
this up jeff and we'll wrap
this up and i'll play you a little what up gangsta we don't need the audience
at home to hear this but
you need to hear this every we'll have to edit out anyway every so many
successful people i know are
really like big music heads oh music is a drug man yeah it's a marvelous drug
that inspires you makes
you feel better makes you move around at mothership you guys are always playing
good music up in that
green room and i'm always like what is this like every single time i think i'm
in that green room i'm
always going what's this one tony's got a bunch well everybody contributes
everybody when they find a
cool song we'll bring it into the green room and then we'll add it to the we
got the playlist on
spotify is like 34 hours or something now yeah it's crazy because you just keep
adding cool songs that's
perfect uh jeff die anything uh website yeah i uh i just launched a podcast oh
it's called die hard
pretty good yeah um d-y-e-d-y-e hard okay once a week comes out every week you
can watch it on youtube
or wherever you listen to podcasts it's on everything i like the name yeah and
then um
at first i didn't because of you i made it for everyone you know like i i had
it behind a thing
on a patreon and like nah don't do that i'm growing yeah it just it won't grow
that's the problem like
you get some money for like a complete lack of yeah i'd rather everyone hear it
and uh and then also we
will start doing a thing where it's like once a week we'll do the uh you know a
face-to-face where
i have like an interview with somebody that i like and oh cool and sit down and
and do like a proper
uh podcast uh but yeah and then jeff die.com to find all my tour dates and uh i'll
see you tonight
yes sir yes sir all right all right thanks for having me brother all right here's
the music
you