#2110 - Fahim Anwar


2 months ago




Fahim Anwar

4 appearances

Fahim Anwar is a stand-up comic, actor, and host of "The Fahim Anwar Dance Hour" podcast. His new special, "Fahim Anwar: House Money," is free to watch on YouTube.www.fahimanwar.comhttps://youtu.be/lbQczAcZb_0?si=z5fxPqxIrRX2G9I6 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eknath Easwaran, The Bhagavad Gita

Stephen King, The Dark Half


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How are you? Good to see you, brother. Good to be back. Thank you for having me. I miss you too. I used to get to see you every week. I thought about that the other day, like yeah. Yeah, you forget that that that's like a period of time and it's not gonna be forever sometimes, you know? Yeah, well it almost was. You were the one of the first people to take the trip out here. There was. It was clear as day when I first came out. I'm like why wouldn't you be out here. Because I remember I had this writing job right and saw this like on zoom every day and life kind of sucked because you couldn't go out so I was just trapped in my house. Right. And then in between a lunch break I'm on Instagram and I see Tony, you know Tony Inchless Post, he's, this is like an infancy of him coming out here, you know. He's like sold out Anton's. You know what I mean? It seemed like this bizzaro universe where life is still happening and I love stand-up so much and I'm just kind of miserable and I'm like, if this is happening out there, I can do stand-up. So then I started asking questions. I hit up the EPs. I'm like, yeah, because we're on Zoom. Could I just write from Austin? Zoom by day and then do stand-up out here like all you guys at night and they're like we don't see Why not so is awesome? I got an apartment out here. I would zoom by day. I would just be doing awesome shows Vulcan and stuff at night. It was it felt like a life hack It was a life hack. Yeah, it was great. I'm so glad I did that. Have you been to the mothership yet? Of course Yeah, it's amazing. I got to do um I think you're on vacation then Adam had me do where you normally do in the middle of the week Oh, yeah, the Tuesday Wednesday Thursday. Mmm. So I got to do like six shows and that beautiful big room both rooms are great, you know, I like that small one for Working on stuff. It's kind of like the belly. It's very much like it the small rooms in combination of the belly and the OR It's a little bit bigger than the belly room and a little more locked in in the belly room. And then the big room is like combination of the OR and the main room. That's what I tell everybody because they go what's it like and it is it's like if those rooms had babies like they're in the middle of both of all three of those rooms. They're both perfect. They're the perfect size. [2:05] You know what's kind of funny? I think the store has started to like get a facelift because of what you've done at mothership because so many comics would come back and be like, yeah, they just give you all your sets. You know what I mean? The sounds amazing, like because it's so state of the art. Well, there's also the screens in the green room that show you what's going on on stage and the time you can't miss your spot Yeah, you can't miss your spot and there's lights everywhere Yeah, so let you know there's lights and there's two sets of lights in the hallway one in the beginning of the hallway one of the Top of the stairs you always know when the guys got the light. Yeah, so I think and if you have any suggestions By the way, just throw them out. We'll use them. Okay The club is built on suggestions We'll use them. Okay half of the club is built on suggestions What you can tell you know like this. I think it was Tony's idea to have the lights in the green room It might have been Tony's idea also to have the monitors in the green room [3:01] It was Louis idea to lower the ceiling. It was Louis idea to change the size the stage in the little room and lower the ceiling in the little room How big was the stage before Louis suggested the change? It was like four feet more on each side. Too big? Yeah, it was too big. It was too big. He was right. He's like, why don't you have all this extra stage? You don't really, it's an intimate room. Like, yeah, you're right. But it was just, you know, we just kind of like walked into this empty space when it was a movie theater, it was, we had to change everything, right? So we changed the way the stairs are. So in the movie theater, the stairs slant way down at a steep angle, right? So you could all watch the big screen. We raised the floor up. So we had to build a concrete, like a rebar and concrete floor. So it's a totally different floor. Yeah, it's crazy. So we raised it up and then Louis wanted me to lower the ceiling even more so I did that as well. After the fact that it was all said and done. No, it wasn't all said and done. We were in the middle of everything. Luckily, we did have to recut the stage in the small room because it was the concrete hadn't been poured yet. So they just had to recut the steel and put it on. But it's very interesting. It's very interesting. I've never been a part of building anything like that before. Yeah, you can tell though, because you're a standup [4:07] of several years, you could tell it was designed by a comedian. It's all done with comics. Yeah, and also Richard, the architect, was amazing. Shout out to Richard Wise. He's the man. He's the man. He's so good. I'll have him on the podcast some days a really interesting guy and he he also came up with the idea of making the tunnel Oh the tunnels all the tunnels the shit. Yeah, yeah, it's such a cool hangout the whole thing's just such It's all just set up just for a hang. Uh-huh. You know, but it feels good the most valuable asset to comedians especially nowadays is getting that footage Dude the footage is big. It's a you. And then also it's like really high quality. Yeah, it's 8K, the sounds great. So I've been pushing for that at the store and I think they're starting to. It's just a process. But I have to put people's phones and bags. So they pay attention. People are so goddamn distracted. Me included, it's so hard just sit there. It's one of the things that I love about podcasts is there's four three hours. I'm not going to see what's going on the world I'm locked in I don't have to think about other things and I'm really lucky [5:09] I think it's a form of therapy in a weird way in this bizarre digitally sort of Intertwined world you can't escape it and I can never escape it It's so hard to get away from emails and text messages and it's just I cannot keep up. I have 185 unanswered text messages. Are you good about clearing them or do you just have all that red? I have to clear them. I have this OCD thing where I need to have a clean, I can't have red. Okay, it's 183 unanswered text. How? How do I do that? Well, you're a popular guy, dude. No, no, how do I don't know how you keep up. You can't keep up. It's hard for you. I can keep up. I'm always surprised for how busy you are and what a figure you are, like how quickly you respond still. You love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. [6:01] I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. much lower than you in the pantheon of things, who takes so much longer. Sometimes I do take long though, if I'm out doing something. There's times when I come home and there's 60 text messages. And there's no chance in hell that I can just bang all those out. Otherwise I'll go insane. That's what I'm saying. It's just like, it's not that I have too many people contacting me, that's not what it is. You find a fucking excuse to use that thing. Oh, the phone. It's cool to be in contact with people. It's fun. I like that. I love the text messages. I have between friends, sending each other memes, talking shit. It's fun. It's silly. It's silly fun. It's a nice relief. When Ari sends me a funny thing or says something funny, it's a nice little relief. The text thread you're in, they're great. You live for the text thread. Yes, I got a few of those text threads going on between me and comics. And it's the most fun thing man. But it's just, the fucking phone runs your goddamn life dude. [7:02] It does and it's made it. So, especially if you're a person who, like if you're booking shows, you have to, you know, you've been in contact with your agent, you have to be in contact with the opening acts, you gotta, you know. It's a tool for everything. It's like, I gotta, I gotta doc you sign something. I have to edit a video, I have to post it on TikTok, after posted on Facebook, after posted on, it's literally a computer. And if you work never ends. You know what's the most hilarious thing to me is when you have to sign things online. Like it's such bullshit. It's an exercise in everyone's believing. It's fake signature. It's not even my real signature. It's a fake signature, like a docky sign. Yeah. And you just agree that you're going to accept that as your signature. You say, okay, and you click it, and then it's your signature. It's just, Joe Rogan in text. There is one, that's a signature. There's one way around that. It's, if you have like a Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra, the new phone, it has a stylus that's built into the phone, and you can use it to sign PDFs. [8:00] Does somebody care enough to be buying that phone just to sign documents? No, but you can sign all kinds of stuff like you can write on it like a notepad. It's really fascinating It's a very fast and any piece of text. We're going back to Palm Pilot. We've gone full circle It's a little bit, but it also allows you to take photographs So you could use it as a shutter so you could like stand across the room and take a photo yourself or a video and you press that button and it starts recording and it starts recording. He'd be like an old-timey photographer. Yeah, old-timey. Just put a blanket over you. Do they still do that? Do they have like a juiciest? I feel like there's some kid in Silver Lake who's like, yo, pose everybody, it's some cool barn, he has the flash. Yo, I used to get fascinated by this one dude who would make old-timey wooden farm tools. This guy would make old-timey, one of those things planes, he would make old-timey planes and old-timey, like Wright Brothers planes? No, no, planes, like when you're planning wood. He was like a wood shop guy, but it was all handmade. He made all of his tools. [9:01] Who's the market for that? Me. I watched that show, I couldn't stop watching it. But when he makes the tools, is there a market to buy those or is it novelty? I think it's novelty. I bet went at the time. This was pre-internet or maybe like the internet was just starting. But this guy had a cool show and I just watched it all the time. I love when people love things. That's what I've figured out about me. It doesn't even have to be something that I love. But I love when people love things. And that's when I really got into a Bourdain show because I was like, God damn this dude loves food. He loves cooking. He loves cuisine. Is that me or you or the Distingu? I think it's you. I own airplane man. I respect the format. I usually do, bro. Come on. I think I'd be so bold I want to see him makes the photos that way with a truck. He turned a whole truck into a Camera essentially. Oh, that's the process of it is crazy. So like it could be a miss sometimes I mean, how much work he's doing this time? Imagine trying to convince these women it's a camera and not some creepy. Oh, yeah No, no, it's a camera psycho just come into the woods and pose for me [10:08] So he turned his truck into a camera. Yeah, he built his own camera and it like it the whole thing is like the dark room You know everything and then Chemical process it makes really cool photos on like on metal. He's printing on bright two metal Wow, that is kind of the most of photos we have is like a transfer to metal These are directly two metal. Whoa. That is kind of the most of the photos we have is like a transfer to metal. These are directly two metal. Is that how they first started making photos? Did they put them on metal? I don't think it was metal. Well, plates. Yeah, I think it would be plates. Nice returning. Oh, that one didn't work. So he's just throwing it. Yeah. Hey, dude, don't litter. Oh, fucking homemade camera doesn't work but better pick that up bitch. That's the beauty of you. Do you know imagine that the edges littered? Yeah. You think that's not true? You can't litter in those places, bro. There's too many people visit. Think about how many people visit like National Parks. It looks so important not litter. No one's going in there cleaning up after you fucking animals. Don't do it. [11:08] Don't litter and you're in the woods man my friend Adam green tree he goes on these uh... big backpacking hunts will go to go into the like montana mountains call our amounts for like a month at a time and he's just picking up bags of people's shit that they left behind bags of empty water bottles bags of trash and he just brings a bag with them and collects it while he's out there hunting it's disgusting. Nice of him to do. He's curious, tons of stuff out there. So, disturbing though, the people do that. It's the worst aspect of us, this total willingness through completely being selfish of just destroying one of the most amazing things we have in this country, which is national parks and public lands, and in place where you could just walk out into the woods. There's tons of places in this country where you can just go on a hike in the fucking woods with bears and moose and all kinds of shit. You can just go out there, man. [12:01] Hopefully you know what you're doing, but nobody really tests you. Nobody says, hey, Faheim, how long can you hike before you die? Let's find out. Hey, for him. Do you do you do you do an any cardio at all? Hey, for him. Do you know how to use a compass? Hey, for him. Do you guys have fucking something to start fire with? Well, that's when you make the local news and then there's a file photo of me and like the search has been on for six days. Bro, it's so hard to stay alive. It's so hard. I've never like stayed alive, you know, I'm obviously just talking out of my ass, but I have been camping. And one of the things that you realize when you go camping, if you just go camping, just a few nights in a row, you're like, what fuck it bitches people are? These animals, they sleep on the ground every night. They don't give a fuck. They're out there wild, there's no doors, there's no borders, and they have all these defense mechanisms as they developed to protect them from predators because of that, because there's no hiding. Every day is war. If you're a fucking deer, every day is like listening [13:02] for branches snapping. Yeah, that's just life. Every day. like listening for branches snapping. Yeah, that's just life. Every day. We're like, I was snorkeling at Hawaii and you get to see all that marine life down there. And I just saw the sea turtles so peaceful. And then part of me was like, he doesn't have to worry about rent or any, he doesn't have to make money to exist. Which was like an interesting concept. But he has so many other problems too. He's got problems. He's got problems. But there's just something about like that being enough for this turtle, just kind of floating. Whereas like, I gotta get a job. I gotta go on tour. I gotta make money. I have to have an apartment. I have to, you know what I mean? All these things humans need to do to exist. The turtles are residual effect of evolution. It's no longer necessary. But We think they're beautiful. I think they're beautiful man. We think they're cool cool guys They live a long turtle you like hey bro. This design is not gonna survive man I can watch it turtle eat lettuce forever It doesn't still own still have his turtle from Rocky. Whoa is it that old? It's old man. They've been a long time I had turtles I had to get rid of them when I had babies because turtles are dirty little creatures [14:02] I don't want to have that around. But they were ruthless. I would eat slowly ruthless. No, I would feed them goldfish. Dude, I had piranhas at one point in time. Of course you did. That's like the most joe-rogan pet. And they were not nearly as ruthless as these fucking turtles. Yeah. Look at that. Roggie's still got the same turtle. 44 years old. Wow. This is five years ago. Turtle looks great. He looks 10. I'm sure they're not dead yet. I bet they do because tortoises live like a thousand years, don't they? Something. I think sea turtles live a long fucking time too, which is like the saddest thing we see people kill them and eat them. even go like, oh, but how good on some of this. You know, how tasty if they're doing that. You think so? Something that starts. It's not that thing with like shark fin soup. You're like, how good must it be? Ah, aquatic turtles will commonly live 20 to 30 years in captivity, but many can live much longer. Tortuses are low, some estimated, they live 100 to 150 years. [15:02] So it's not tortoises. Is it sea turtles that live forever? Who are the old ones? So some of them can live up to 250 years. What about sea turtles? Maybe it's sea turtles. Do you think there's like they're really old? A family that has a turtle. It's been in the family for generations. Like it's 249 years old. Wow. That's a great question. That's a solid question. That'd be awesome. I think there's sharks that are alive today that are the oldest living creatures. I think there's sharks estimated up to 10,000 years, right? One in 1000. Okay. That's surviving. I was reading it wrong. Sorry. Too many words. Life span 500 years, but there's one turtle. There's some fucking turtle that they think it's really old. This says estimate up to 500 years old. Okay. Here's one right here. I don't know. I mean, that's look old. You know, you never see a turtle in your life. This large turtles. That's what I'm talking about. [16:10] 500 years old. That's fucking punkers, man. That's what I'm talking about 500 years old that's fucking punkers man. That's like pre-George Washington wrap your head around that You're a baby turtle you just fucking chill and all of these boats pull up Yeah, this isn't gonna be anything. Do you think some of these turtles are not that progressive because they're pretty old and they Super conservative. Yeah, yeah, they probably watch Fox News like women are wearing pants They have a super conservative. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they probably watch Fox News. They're like women are wearing pants. What is it? I see. This isn't happening. When I came up. Yeah. You ever see, there's a snapping turtle. What do they call them? The really crazy looking ones. It's like a dinosaur looking thing. It's a type of snapping turtle, but there's like a gator snapping turtle. I think maybe that's what they call it, alligator snapping turtle. It's crazy looking to do it. You can't believe it's a real creature. And these assholes are big and mump. And you're like, bro, if you fuck up that thing's taking your hand, it's a, I mean, literally taking your hand. They're big. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. Jesus. [17:09] Look at Jesus look at that fucking mouth, but there's some big ones look at that one And the little bit of size that one that's what I'm talking about like that guy has that guy's out of his fucking mind If that mark gets a hold of one of those fingers that shit is so gone You're trusting your grip look at that thing man. You're trusting your grip Bro fucking pig stuff fuck all that that is a monster if that was big and Storming into a village in Mongolia a thousand years ago in some crazy movie You'd be like oh my god. You have some Lord of the Rings type movie. Yeah, that would exactly be what it would look like and dude Be guys with straps around that thing riding it. Oh, yeah, right? That's that like the scenes in the movies Yeah, where the heroes are against the wall but then the people writing these things come in from the side. Yeah bro we're so weak. What is humans? Humans. We're so weak. It's what an amazing trade off though. But we have bombs. Yeah we have guns. We have everything. We have houses. We have cars. We have so many different things. [18:02] We weigh made up for it but isn't it interesting that as you make up for it, you have to give away your physical defenses. We're the most vulnerable. A good house cat could fuck you up. A house cat could fuck you up. If you're not ready, a rat for sure. A rat the size of a house cat could fuck you up. You'd be so scared of that. I thought this video, you know you see videos on Twitter and stuff. This guy in New York, there's a possum just on the side of this building and then this this white guy helps the neighborhood out. He just grabs it off the wall and it's like everyone's just thanking this guy and he just knows how to handle the possum and he walks it down the street and he just like throws it into an alley. Yeah. My dog, Marshall likes possums. That's the person who grew up on a farm. That lady just grabbed it. I just love how this is the sub-jonger on the internet, grabbing possums. I just love that thing. She knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. Look at her walk out, confidently. Look at her, she's, unless it's hers. That's true. [19:05] Maybe it's like a YouTube guy. She's like my bad guys, she's got out. She's releasing possums like, oh, you got a little crazy. Roscoe, you can talk that out. Roscoe, go out, Roscoe. Where are an apple bees? Come on. Roscoe, they have something that I was worried, because my dogs got them a couple of times. They just lock up, they don't even fight back. They get scared, yeah. No, they've locked up, they play possums, they die. Also, that's where it comes from. Yeah, it's a weird response. So mean the possums have the same technique. They don't know if it's a response to escape coyotes because coyotes sometimes will kill you and not eat you immediately and Maybe there's some sort of an evolutionary advantage to playing dead and they leave you there But you're not actually dead and so they give up on trying to eat you yet Toxoplasmosis [20:00] And then something called leptos All kinds a bad shit. Yeah. Coxidosis, how do you say that first one? Coxid deosis? Come on, dude, you want to college? I mean, I'm studying this. I'm studying possums. I just learned that Coxid deosis. Deosis. Microscopic parasite found in a possum feces spreads a disease known as coxidiosis When a possums are immune to this disease their carriers and spread it to other animals Mmm, diarrhea. Yeah Bloody diarrhea dehydration weight loss general decline in health if untreated can result in complications or death Oh shit death by parasites, you know what they give you when you get parasites? What? I've erected. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, that's what it's originally for. Cause it's dogs are susceptible to this one. Dogs are susceptible to leptosplerosis, leptosplerosis, bacterial infection through contact [21:03] with a possum urine or contaminated water, both pets and humans can... So it doesn't... I wonder if that means if they bite them. If they bite them, they definitely can get toxo. If they eat them. So the moral of the story is just stay away from possums if you can, right? I would imagine. Toxos, the wildest. Yeah. Do you know that they think that somewhere in some places like at France at one point in time, 50% of the population was positive for toxo. No, life from what? Cats. From feral cats. Feral cats leave cat shit around. And that's why they tell pregnant women never touch cat litter. It's really bad for the kid if the woman's pregnant and she gets toxo. Well, oh, five. But it's a parasite that infects your brain and the wildest thing about is what it does to rats Because it rewires the rat sexual reward system This parasite does and gets the rat horny for cat piss So the cat is like pissing somewhere the rat finds where the cat's pissing and he's literally erect [22:00] Is he fucking the liquid or what no fear of cats? Zero fear of cats their fear of cats completely goes away to the point where they pursue cats. So the cats eat the rats because toxo can only grow and can only reproduce inside the cats digestive tract. So inside the cats gut, it's reproducing. The cat shits it out and then the cycle repeats itself. The rats eat it, the rats eat the cat shit, rats always eat shit. They get toxo, they give it to other cats. It's just cycle. And it gets to people and it makes people reckless. It's a disproportionate amount of high instances of toxo are connected to successful soccer teams. How do you know so much about toxo? I'm fascinated by it. There's this guy Robert Sapolsky out of Stanford. See how does Stanford? Yeah, at least so. Brilliant guy. But he did all this work on toxo plasma. So one of the things they found when he was a resident or maybe one of his friends that was a resident, they found that there was a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims [23:03] who tested positive for toxo. So they started testing motorcycle victims for toxo and they found that there's a disproportionate amount. Enough to indicate that there's probably something going on there that maybe the toxo makes people more reckless. That's a weird how that can make you do that. It's not stupid. You know, it's thinking how many people have feral cats, how many people probably have it? You could have it and not even have any idea of no inclination that you have it. I'm gonna get tested for toxin. He's just a little cuckoo. Like dude, I had it the whole time. He's just a little cuckoo. It's a 40%. Yeah. Population in America. 40%. So much. 40% as toxin. 16 to 40%. Let's just say it's only 16. You know what nut set is? It's a parasite that affects your effects your behavior. That's so bananas. I know. How nuts is that? It's pretty. And most people aren't even aware of that. Get tested guys. This is like a PSA. Get tested for toxo. Yeah. It's a, what are the side effects or what are the effects? I know there's like a loss of inhibition. [24:06] I think that comes with it. Something along those lines. But more reckless. Maybe that's good. Or you wreck the stage. Talk so it just makes you fearless as a comedian. Well that, you know, the head injury. The next time I have talks out. Good head injuries, good for that too. Yeah, good injury. Good head injury. Any younger. You wouldn't recommend it, but two of the all-time greats had like big head injuries and they turned into... Kinnison? Kinnison and Rosanna. Rosanna? I don't know. She had a head injury. She had hit by a car. Yeah. Adam the Vine got hit by a car too when it was like... Oh Jesus. Yeah. I think he broke his bones and stuff. Oh my God. When he was a kid. That's accidents because of Instagram than at any other time in my life. Instagram just wants to show you people dying. Well, X2, man. X2. Well, X is everything. X has porn on it, which is so wild that during the time where they were trying to take people, take their accounts away for COVID information that they didn't think was correct at the time, they were allowing [25:04] like hardcore point. You forget it's the Wild Wild West on there. And I'm not saying they shouldn't. Sure. I'd love this. It's such whiplash. Like I'll be watching a cat video and then there's just some guy, you know, getting hit by a car. I'm like Jesus, like give me a minute. Let me brace myself and. Instagram knows that I watch those. Those are the fun fun stuff. It's serving you up, it knows your hours. It's serving me up. There's a lot of these, I'm not even following these accounts. You like this guy dying, you may like this guy. Yeah, it's like it's weird. Like should your feed be only people you follow or should they show you a bunch of shit? Well that's what these companies are struggling with because when it was all just your circle, People weren't consuming as much as the suggested videos. You know what's funny is like I got shadow banned on Instagram for like around Thanksgiving. What did you do? Hardly anything and it sucks because I'm trying to do a special via non-traditional means, you know? Like it's not Netflix, it's not Comedy Central. Like this is a model now because of like you and YouTube. [26:02] Like this is a viable alternative to like the Netflix Comedy Central Special, whatever. So it's like you need the power of these social media companies to reach people. So like doing podcasts and you do the YouTube Special, that's like an arm of it. And then you disseminate R.E. as you've been very helpful with like trying to self-release a special. So you like chop it up into clips. Like This is what I did in my last one, you know? And you just chop up because most people are going to access you via clips. Like, everyone has time for 30 seconds. Right. Because the hour-long special is kind of for jazz heads. You got to be a real stand-up comedy nerd to like sit down and watch an hour. It's for real. Right. I was talking to this good vinyl. I swear it is, because I was talking to Roy Wood Jr. And sometimes because we're in standup, we just think it's the world, because it is our world, and we think that it translates to the rest. And he kind of, he like birds I viewed it for me. He's like, yeah, when you go on Spotify, standup is under jazz. [27:03] You know what I mean? He goes as an art form. It's under jazz. Jazz is more popular and I'm like, it kind of put everything into focus for me where you know, I don't have to be as invested. I'm like, okay, there's a ceiling to what you can do. But anyway, you, I need the clips. Like I need the arm of the clips because I had some clips to like 12 mil and stuff and people were able to find me via Instagram Reels. So when they shadow band me like it tells you you can look at your account status and they'll be marks on there. It'll say there's like three strikes and stuff and then one of the things that said is your content will not be shown to non-followers. And that's kind of how the machine works. Your stuff gets suggested to people who may not have known about you. So, you need that as an artist if you want to grow, like to see your special and your stand-up. So, you're being suppressed, you're being limited. How do you know you were Shadowband? [28:01] Because it tells you on your account status and then I had people talking to people who work IG or meadow or whatever and they're like yeah, it's shadow band. What did you do? I think it's because it's an election cycle or something like it's not even a human doing it I think it just scrapes for buzzwords and just blank it Has these suppression on it. So I had this joke. It sounds so creepy. Well, it sucks because there's no nuance to it. It was just a joke. You know my feed him works on stuff show? I do it on YouTube some time. Sure, I'm just working on material. I just do it to feed the algo. And sometimes there's a great joke that works and I just post it on a reel because it's like 80% of the way there and I'm just feeding the algo. So this joke, I posted on all of them, you know, I do a clip and then I post it on all the social media platforms. So it remained on TikTok and all the other ones was fine and usually TikTok is very draconian, like they don't like, because it's mostly kids. So the joke, it's a non-sequitur, you know, [29:00] just I don't know where I'm like, I just want to let you guys know. Hamas is hiding in my ex-girlfriend's house. So that's the joke. It's like saying something without saying something. It's just, you know, it's a joke and like. Oh my god, we can't have jokes about Hamas. Yeah, yeah, so that's all I said. And then I think it just saw Hamas on the thumbnail when You know when you post on the grid and then I got a strike for that and then there was no way to reach people and I'm just fucked. Wait a minute. So any mention of Hamas gets you shot a bit as always? Yes, yeah, pretty much. I think it just it's this machine learning or whatever it is. It's just scraping the internet for like buzzwords. So that was like a hot button issue and stuff and there's no nuance applied to the situation or the joke. So it just sees Hamas and then my account got hit like that. So is it any joke about Hamas or just mentioning? I don't think the joke was even taken into consideration. I think they just saw Hamas on a thumbnail or Hamas on a caption not knowing [30:01] that it's a guy on stage doing a joke. Right. And there's layers to the... Yes, I tried to appeal it. And then it was just stuck in review forever. So nothing was gonna happen. Like I was pretty much fucked. So I know influencers in LA and stuff. And I was like, and sometimes when they're pretty high up on IG, they have a contact or something more than a nebulous. Because these companies are so, there's no point person. I think it's like that for a reason. So, they tried to help me out. They had a guy and we were going back and forth and nothing was getting done. And luckily, I met a large agency, like a talent agency and they were going at it too, trying to help. And like just a week ago, it got lifted. Because, yes. And then then so the joke is up whereas before it wasn't so it's like it didn't even happen it's like I had someone voucher me and then they like hands were off it was fine but only because I had the might of this talent and see if I was like a regular guy I would just be fucked. Well that is the thing about an agency can get in contact with someone who there's a [31:02] value in that for sure. Yeah so much. So much. But you also have to realize from their perspective, they're managing at scale, literally billions of people. Yes, so I mean, Facebook and Instagram are all the same company, right? It's all meta. So, like, how many meta customers are there? Let's just guess. So many. Well, isn't like a small nation when you add up how many face I think it's a really big one I think it's a really big one. I want to say it's north of two billion. Yeah That's a big-ass country, but it's it's an imperfect solution Active user users on meta products. Yeah, three point one nine billion Yeah, that's so many people so you have to think from their perspective that they think they have an obligation somehow to maintain a certain level of discourse on their platform. This is how you get established initially. [32:07] But then when you get people in there that are very politically biased and you get people in there that are socially biased and they only want one perspective being heard and then you get a lot of people self-sensoring because they self-sensor because they're like, hey, I don't know what I can say and what I can't say. And you get back. Well, now I'm like that right exactly Twitter does not do that. Right. I don't like calling it X. I still call it I'm old school bro. It's it's because it's not an X you can't make an X you make it tweet Right true. Yeah, I tweeted it you asked it. No, I say X it I write hard for you and I'm like I I was on X. I know I was just drafting a bunch of X's. I just suck it. I asked it. What do you call it? Tweet? Oh, that's that's that's that's that's Jack Dorsey. Yeah, the old days kids. It just so it's nice to have my count back. But I love that it's wild. That's the Twitter things. It's I mean, some of it is disturbing. When people get comfortable enough to just like, really speak their mind about things, [33:05] they're like, oh my god. Well, that's the thing about social media too, is sometimes when you're a close knit circle, your buddies kind of check you, like, hey, what are you doing? Put social media, some people have a lot of rope, and you're like, oh no. Yeah, and especially like isolated people. Yes, I see my friends getting nutty on the road. I'll get nutty. You could tell your buddy has been on the road for too long. Like they do a video in a hotel room or something. Oh no. And you're like, oh no, they're losing their mind. Yeah. I've been guilty of that too. Just when you're not surrounded by community and people and you're just a brain floating on the road. The number one key that I found very early is going the road with your friends. I'm lucky. I've entered a phase of my career where now I'm starting to be able to do that. Whereas before you're not making enough money. So you're just beholden to whoever they book as a feature and you're just stuck in a hotel. You're walking across a freeway to go to a cracker barrel and kill time. I just had a long time ago, like 98 to do that. [34:05] Just pay more money. Yeah. Give them the money. Just make less money, but have a good time. It's worth it. Dude, it's everything. It's everything. Make less money, have a good time. Make more money, have a bad time, not fun. You don't like that. That's not a good feeling. Make less money, have a good time, and have everybody else have a good time too. Yeah. So it's a bunch of guys who are really good friends, who love each other, have been on the road forever, going to dinners forever. I've had hundreds of dinners with Ari and Joey Diaz and Duncan and so we get together. It's just joy. It's the best. It's just joy. It's just being with your favorite people. It's the best. It's just joy. It's just being with your favorite people Having a good time doing the thing that you can't believe you get paid to do. Yeah, I'm I'm able to do that now I think you know, I mean I have to say thank you for No, you're able to do it from your talent. I know, but I mean this is a platform because like I wasn't a Netflix guy I wasn't a comedy central guy and which doesn't make any sense to me. Well, it just shows me Comedy Central Netflix. Well, look at how many of my friends and peers are just skyrocketing and they weren't the guys they picked [35:12] You know what I mean? So it's kind of validating and refreshing and it's cool to see Comedy policing itself and just promoting guys who are in the trenches and know what's up Not some guy was the communications degree. I think there's a lot of comedy nerds now too that are really into comedy. Because they get to see how the sausage is made from all the podcasts. Yeah. You know, it's still like really before that, I always said this, like there's so few conversations with great standups that exist like from the George Carlin days or Richard prior days. There's not hours and hours of prior to sitting around talking about things, which would have been amazing. Yeah. Amazing. He mentioned Richard prior or George Carlin had a podcast. It's pretty nuts, I know. Oh my God, it would be insane. It'd be insane. [36:00] And George has done some conversations where he talked about his writing process. He talked about the art form itself, but he had a very specific way of doing it. The most people don't do it that way. He would write a monologue. Yeah. And then he would just sort of punch it up a little bit. That monologue would be his monologue for these years. He was amazing, but it was rigid and he knew he knew his beads and stuff, but yeah, totally different process. in the end he became this guy who was a comic as much as he was a social critic it was like both things were this it was still a great comic clearly but he was also a great social critic and he had because he didn't have a podcast his view of the world came out in a stand-up and he had to figure out a way to make that funny and that was like his great challenge. Well it gets so distilled when that's here because like we can talk at length and approximate it and we have. And you can go back on what you said and go you know actually now that I'm thinking about it. Right. I could see how you would look at [37:01] it the other way too. Which is so goddamn important. Comedy fans are getting very granular. It's kind of cool. I think comedy's always been popular, but not like this. And I almost feel like it's, people are discovering standup, this day and age, sort of like the way they used to discover music. People are taking ownership of discovering comedians. Because even me, I'm kind of like under the radar. I'm pretty niche. And when a comedy fan likes me, they're just like a level of fandom. It's like they found a cool record at a record shop. Because of the advent of YouTube and Instagram, people aren't just accepting whatever is being fed to them through corporate pipe. Right, which used to be the case. Like if you weren't picked before, you couldn't do anything. That was the only way to even get in front of people. It's like you had to be the corporate pick. Otherwise you were just toiling an obscurity. There's nobody even be seen. But now there's all these ways to circumvent the traditional, like Shultz was saying something [38:01] is like, like the younger generations and stuff, they don't know where they saw it. Or like what the medium is of the branding, they just know they saw it on a TV, whether it's YouTube, whether it's Netflix, whether it's Amazon. Like that type of branding is almost like legacy thinking from when I was coming up and you were coming up and there was a way to do it. Yeah. People just like good now. Well they like what they like too and there's plenty of variety. There's all sorts of different comics out there now that are really popular. It's really interesting time. I think like for stand up, like for the art form, I don't think there's ever been a better time. There's never been more of it. There's never been more good ones. There's never been more good ones coming up. And that's one of the more interesting things about watching the club. As occasionally I get to see these people that audition to be door people. Those are all comments. And I get to see them grow. It's fun. It's fun to watch, man. It's fun to watch people inspired and that energy is in the whole room because there's all these different levels. [39:01] These guys like Assan and Derek who are now going going on the road. Yeah, great guys. They're on the road. David Lucas is killing on the road. William Montgomery's killing it on the road. And then there's like the headliners are coming in there all the time like Shane and Duncan and Tom Sagerra and all these people that come in to fuck around. But there's this feeling that starts at the bottom. It starts with the base. It starts with the people that are inspired about making it still and then there's the people that are just Getting in and there's the people that are in and then there's the people that are on television and everybody knows They are on the screen when they go on stage and there's Ron. Yeah, you know, there's those people So it's like you get to see how we're all just the same thing. We're all just artists For lack of a Talk on just're like Tokyo Mon just different evolution. We're doing a weird art form. We're doing a weird art form that hasn't really until now been documented as to how to go about doing the process and how each one of us went about doing the process. And I think people are interested in that. Just like I'm interested in that motherfucker that makes wood, wood tools. [40:01] I love when people love things. Yeah. I do. Even if it's something that I don't do, I love when people love things. Anything, man, anything. Well, it's so interesting how the blueprint is to make it whatever you want to call it in comedy has shifted so fast in the past couple of years. Because when I was coming up, it was SNL, it was doing like a late night set, it was doing premium blend, like these smaller showcase typesets, and then you do a half hour, like a half hour on Comedy Central was huge, like Dane had a monster half hour. Just gaff again, you would, Louie, you know, these were like people's entry points to these people. And then now there's really, those things don't exist. I was taking um... What's the viral clip down? Yes. So I you know I was on the road and I took uh I was doing cobs and I brought Matt Lockwood he's a community from the store and we're just sitting eating ice cream on the bench and um you know talking to the young comics and I'm like what what do you guys pine for now? Like what is the thing? Because when I was coming up, I knew what the thing was. Like what we all wanted. [41:06] It was like a JFL showcase. It was a late-sale. Just for laughs, just for fun. Montreal. The biggest set of your life is in French canon. It is. And then you make an Arby's joke and you're like, oh, you don't have Arby's? That would have in front of all these suits. What else is in the news? So I go, what's your thing? What are you? And he's like, there's really nothing. That was weird to me that they had no touchdown. He goes, maybe like a clip goes viral or a podcast. It's just so nebulous now. Right. There's no hard blueprint. Well, the blueprint before was kind of, the problem was it involved other stuff. The blueprint involved like getting a sitcom, getting a talk show, getting a something. Yes. It always involved that. A means to an end, a springboard. Like you couldn't just be a comic. You had to be a wacky neighbor. Well, that was the thing that always bum me out the most about Richard Jenny. You know, Richard Jenny, when he died, was one of the best comics ever, but was felt like a failure [42:07] because he didn't become Jim Carrey because he didn't become the guy who did the movies. He had a TV show, it was called Platypus Man that was on one of those burgeoning networks, one of those new networks. Like, what was it? WB, one of those? It was the 2B of it today. It was one of those weird networks where like they started offering people deals to do shows that maybe wouldn't have got a show at NBC or ABC. But he was a great comic man, a great fucking comic. And he never liked the fact that he was just a comic. It was crazy, is if you plug him in today. He'd be a killer. Yeah. It's a nut like, you're enough. As a comic, you're enough as a comic. Yeah, you're enough. Whereas that used to never be the case. It was like, what else do you do? What's such a disrespect at art form? It's such like it's something that everybody loves, but nobody nobody takes that seriously because because it seems like the person on stage is doing what you can do. They're just talking. I know, I know, but they get up there and they learn very quickly. Yeah, well if they get up there Well, you ever have a drunk person is like yeah, I'll do it sometimes. I'm like all right. Let's let's try let's who you got [43:09] And then everyone hates them You wanted this dude. Yeah, well, it's just people think and then there's people that want to do it And just don't know how to do it. Yeah, there's a lot of that. I'll get that after shows, some like young comments. What do I do? I've been writing stuff. You've got to get up. You've got to walk in the fire. Yeah, you just got to do that first open mic night. After the first one, it'll be a lot easier. The first one's the hardest one for sure. I always tell you. I was fucking terrified. Yeah, but the fact, if you even do so many people talk But they never even like bomb for three minutes that is a win even for real because you know what it feels like at least If you have gotten laughs and then you bomb I think that's better Because at least you know you can get laughs, but if you start off bombing yeah the road to actually getting let like if you bomb out of the gate [44:04] First time on stage, just death. Not even a chuckle. Well, if you come back, if you come back after that happens, then you're normal. Yeah, then you're crazy person. Sure. Those are both great assets as it's they're not gonna be occasionally. I guess. The crazy person isn't always, you know, the crazy person isn't always, that's not really. Right, you have to harness the crazy. Yeah, some people, it's not harnessable. You know, it's a thousand horsepower engine on the fucking kids bike. Like what do I do with this? They have like a little kids bike with a fucking giant. What a ride, no. Or bad engine on it. Oh, I also gotta thank you because, I mean mean it reminds me, I brought my parents a tonight show, and that's because of your podcast. I remember I was doing, I forget which one, I've been on a few times, but like, you're like have your parents seen you before? And I'm like, nah, they saw me do the Apollo when I was 18. And then I got voted the Apollo. [45:02] And that was the first, I was like a few months in the doing standup. And they're from Afghanistan and this is not a thing you do when they wanted me to quit and it was just very disgraceful me doing this. And they seem to get booed by 4,000 people. I'm telling the story, I think the one or two of us. So I get boot off stage and all that. And then you're like, they gotta come see you again, man. You're great. And I go, I just have this mental block because that was so bad. That I just, it's like an emotional thing. You just put in a closet and you just ignore it. Yeah. Because I just wanted to keep on doing comedy on my own and keeping my parents and stuff like separate and then they got to come see you and then on the podcast I was like I just always had this fantasy of like it when they see me it being so good to counteract how bad that experience was that it would be like a celebration that everything is okay [46:03] your son turned out okay right all the worries you had, you don't have to worry anymore. So I think after I spoke it into existence on your pod, I actually went about doing it. So I hit up the book of the tonight show, and I'm like, I mean, I guess I could have always done it. I just never, I know the booker, I go, can I do the tonight show? Like I love to do it. I told him the whole story of like my parents have never seen me since that thing. This is like an emotional thing I need to take care of. Like this is even about comedy anymore. This is just like healing. It's been this monkey on my back for 20 years, 21 years, you know? And then he's like, send me a tape. I sent him a tape. So I actually did the work. I finally just went about doing the work. I went to the improv, I put a tape together, I sent it to him, he's like, this is great. Come and do it. So then I flew my parents out to New York and it was just very therapeutic to be able to give this to my parents because they know what the tonight show is. It was a celebration. [47:01] It was, this is way bigger than this. I love this night show. Thank you for letting me do it and all that stuff. But in the grand scheme of like entertainment and needle moving, it's not what it used to be. You know, you used to do tonight show when people like honking and shouting your name from cars and shit. That's how I found out about Richard Jimmy. Oh, just a night show. Yeah, it's almost not show. But this was just to give my parents a night out and a memory and a story for the parents. So I wore a suit. I brought them out. They got to meet Jimmy. They got to meet the roots. The roots came in. And the, because I'm like friends with the roots somehow. So like, yeah, they're like, all your son is amazing with a blood. You raised a good kid and all that. So it was everything I would, I could ever dream of it being. And that stems from your pod, you know? Well, it stems from you, dude. I know. But still, just when you talk about things and you speak something into existence, I think that's valuable, you know? Just for me. We all have to work at it. Think about it. [48:00] You gotta put that set together. You gotta work at it. Yeah. You gotta be real careful with that, speak things into existence talk. Because you're a very dedicated and disciplined writer. Right. You write all the time, you're always working on new material, you're always working on your material, you put a lot of time and effort into stand-up comedy. People say that that's nice, thank you, but I mean, I just develop systems where it doesn't feel, because when people are like, oh, you write a lot, it doesn't feel like I write a lot because I just have systems and processes where over time I look at my notes and I just have a bunch of stuff. It's not, I think people have such an aversion or writing, they think that you have to go to a log cabin. You know what I mean? And there's a typewriter and then you like do a pipe and you're like, yeah, what's funny? Exactly. Whereas I've gotten my process to a point where I just live life and if something happens, I jot it at my phone. And you jot enough things in your phone, that list is pretty long. Yeah. And then I developed that faheem works on stuff and his friends drop by show. I developed in during COVID on accident. Like the jam in the van was the only venue doing shows. [49:05] And I had already headlined there. They go, you want to do another one? I'm like, how about this for an idea? I go, I just have all these bits that I never get around to trying. I MC the show. I have a piece of paper up there. I'm just kind of like a reading. I'm just like, spaghetti against a wall. And this goes back to people comedy fans being savvy now where they know the process and I have enough fans at this point now where like they want to see how the sausage gets made. Yeah. So I do like 10 minutes in between acts just trying stuff out and then I bring up people doing great sets you know what I mean? So the bulk of the integrity of the show isn't based on me trying new stuff because I have great comics interspersed. So it's a very low stakes way for me to try much of new material. So after the great act goes, I do 10 more minutes of bullshit or whatever, bring up the next comic. So it's a safe space for me to be able to try new stuff. And they know what you're doing too. Yeah, the show is called, the theme works on stuff, this Friends Drop by. So by so I think of the name of the show. Yeah, and it mitigates expectations. I think a lot of times comics, [50:07] when they're like, oh man, I'm so afraid, I can't write stuff, it's like, make the show where you can. Because I'm Bobby sometime. First of all, it was very cool to see Bobby on the pod. I'm surprised it took forever. It took forever, I told Bobby, I'm like I'm so glad that you finally did it. He wanted to see forever. Probably we're like that sometimes. Yeah. Not yet. Not yet. We talked about due to it like a hundred times. Whenever I'd see him at the store. I know. I just not. Well, what made him want to do it this time? Put him over the top. I don't know. I should ask him. He's going to be in the town. Right. He hooked it up. It was fun. It was fun hanging out with them Yeah, he's awesome. I love about he was I love the first comic to take me on the road like a headliner And actually take me on the road with him. He's a genuinely sweet guy Genuinely sweet guy always has been yeah, he's always good with other comics too hilarious So hilarious to hang out with too She's a fair all cat dude. She's I had him on my pod one time and like I [51:05] have an idea of where I wanted the pod to go yeah and I'm just kind of like mentally trying to corral Bobby and there's no way you can't that's silly you need a you need to like a red red cape yeah I need a possum guy just to grab Bobby off the wall I yeah spent this is how's how's to do but I am I spent 20 minutes today watching dudes do flips over bowls. Yeah Because there's dudes this is a new sport where the bowls run at them and they flip over the bowls They do like front flips so they're acrobat. This is a red cloth isn't enough not enough. You're now This is the next evolution. You're counting on your knees and your ankles These guys oh I got hit whoa. Look at this motherfucker the leaping of the bulls. Look at this shit Do they watch us for 20 minutes today? I can't do that without the bull bro. This is you have to be so So athletic you're avoiding horns that that goes up your asshole. You're a dead person. Yeah, it happens all the time [52:04] man, you think one of these guys is undefeated nope I guarantee you father time catches them just like it catches great fighters. I Bet there's a few of those guys that hang in there a little too long The bullfighter. Yeah, front flip gets a little sloppy Maybe you're you got that one bad ankle, but y'all compensate with my right ankle. Uh-uh not this time It's It's not even a flip, it's a summer solider. This time, just time you're going head button, a fucking bowl. It's just a, I mean, but it's such a weird, listen, I prefer it to the other thing, the other bowl fighting thing they do. Oh, they kill it. They're full of spears and they compromise it. Flipping's just good fun. Well, it's just the whole, the whole fighting thing. I get it back in the disay. You ever tried to flip? No, I've never tried to flip. I used to be able to flip. Really? Oh yeah, I believe you. Yeah, I learned for the high school musical. That's like the least maelstrom, right? Like, you were flip. How long did it take you to learn? You know during the summertime you just have so much free time that I had my best friend [53:07] across the street. I'm like, yo come over, I'm gonna try to do it back flip, tell me what I'm doing wrong. So he just had eyes on me and I would try to just do it on the side yard for my parents house. So I would run, grass is pretty soft, you know I'm not doing all concrete, it's soft enough, but you're 18, you have rubber bones. Right. So I would just run, do a round off to backflip. But I was doing it sideways. I think when you first start, you want to see the ground the whole time, because you're too afraid to totally let go. Yeah. So he's like, stop going diagonal, go more, and then finally I got it. So I was doing, I wasn't doing a standing back flip. I was doing a round off to back flip. And then I learned how to go off a wall. Whoa. And then that's actually easier because you just like push off the wall. It takes a lot of the rotation out. And then I learned how to have my buddy launch me. [54:00] I actually posted on my Instagram because when I was shadow band, I was just posting dancing. You know what I mean? Because I was in jail. I was in jail. So I just like, how band were you? Did I still see your stuff? Well, I'm in band, I'm in. But at the time when you were shadow band, would that mean I would have a hard time seeing yourself? Is it people that follow you? No, you knew people wouldn't be able to see me, but I would be able to reach some of follows you could see. Yes, maybe not the entire pie, but if my ceiling was going to be people who already follow me, I wasn't going to reach any new people. That's weird, isn't it? So then I didn't want to, because I had all these jokes and stuff and I go, I don't want to burn these clips on a suppressed audience, you know? So I just went to my archives and just reposted dance shit. But what's funny is like, sometimes when you post dance stuff, it brings people who like dance that you wouldn't think. Like sometimes you'll like a dance thing and it throws me for a loop because I wouldn't think Joe Rogan likes a dancing video from me. [55:00] I like all kinds of things, man. Yeah. And then Juliet Lewis started liking some of this. This is like a fucking crazy world. And then she asked a question and one of the IGs. And I'm like, she's like, oh yeah, did you used to do this for talent shows and stuff? And I'm like, oh, I did it for the high school musical. So is there, can you pull it up on? I'm trying to find it out. I have to find it out. I have too many dance videos. Let me explore this. Why is musicals not manly? Probably the singing and dancing. Right. If I had to sing in dancing not manly. Particularly evolutionarily speaking. Because women have always been impressed by singing and dancing. Yeah. But you need to say about the Saturday night fever. Yes. Right. But think about all the jealous guys and they just call travel to gay or whatever. Because if the girls like, if the girls like something that kind of blends feminine, haters is gonna say he's gay. [56:00] Blends feminine. Yeah. Why singing and dancing? Right, but why? Again, if women like it and if it's difficult to do, what makes those two things that are difficult to do that women like? Because it's not a masculine. It's a masculine watching it too though. If it was rock, like if it's leather, guys can get behind that. Right, but if a guy can really dance, that shit's impressive. Yeah, but it has to be next level. It has to be like Michael Jackson or Prince. Hmm, interesting. Like Lance. Or like Lance. Like Lance can stop us. When's Lance coming back? You know? Lance coming back. Lance? Yeah, I don't know. For him, does a character on stage called Lance can stop us and it was always a favorite of the comedy stories He doing last night. Is he doing last night tonight? To boy I think he irritated you well No, I mean it's fun Lance I'm right here for he's right here like who Lance is cannibalized Lance is cannibalizing for him [57:00] It's like that movie. What was it the dark half What was that book? The Stephen King book, the writer, like, uh, there's, he's got like an evil writer in his brain that writes all the hits. Yeah. And he comes to life. Well, there, I mean, Lance is a part of me. The thing is, I almost feel like Lance is who I would be if I didn't have parents. I swear to God. Because my parents raised me a certain way and even when I have thoughts and stuff There are so many gates before I kind of say You know what I say. I'm careful sometimes and then Lance is just pure id and it's dancing and it's it's it's candy Right and it's so fun also as an artist too. as a standup because when I write jokes and shit I'm like there's it's intricate, you know, okay, what goes here? Well blah, right it's mentally taxing right but Lance there's no jokes. It just you show up they play dance music And I'm going out of the comedy store where they've seen so much high-level [58:02] cerebral great jokes and stuff. And then they're like, well, it's against the obelisk. Oh yeah, here, Bert bringing Lance up. Is it? I don't even want that. I'm going to be a bitch. Like pure nonsense. No, amazing. I know, I know. Amazing. But it really sets the wig with you? I packed Lance. Lance is going on stage tonight. Oh shit. Lance is going on stage tonight. I just love the phrase, I packed Lance. Lance is going on stage tonight. It's like I get mad if Duncan doesn't bring little hobo. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, so one time when Adam was still at the store he was you know the the manager there I went up earlier in the night in the OR as me and Then my set's done and Whitney's running late and then Adam tracks me in the hallway He like right by the shoulder. There's any goes Whitney's running late get Lance [59:05] So I'm like Superman so I go I go into the trunk of my car and then I turn to the lamp. So this is like three or four comics later and they bring, they go, who's next? They go, what the fuck? They go, all right, Lance can stop us. Then I go back up for the same audience, but I'm as Lance this time and I dance and shit and then I go back up for the same audience, but I'm as a Lance this time, and I dance and shit, and then I sit on the stool, and I'm like, you guys look strangely familiar. LAUGHTER So then I'm like, I do a 10 minute Lance set, and then I see Whitney in the back, and then I'm like, there's a denim in Whitney comics. So I got them out of a pinch. That's amazing. But I've never done, I guess one other time I did do Lance on the same show, like As for Him. Bro, Lance will become Dice. Yeah. I can see that, because it's so much fun to do. Do you know the Dice story? So no, what was that? Dice name is Andrew Silverstein. Right, I know he was like a great impressionist in the state of the school is to all these characters he's to do john Travolta he doesn't amazing john Travolta right and [1:00:08] then he would do this character called the dice man and then the dice man became him. this car is automatic it's the I mean, how you not love him. And it's so good. It's amazing. He's amazing. That is amazing. But anyway, that became him. He became that character. That's him. This is it, man. Your lance. This is my evolution. I was a catapillian. You are lance. I am. This is my suggestion for you next special. [1:01:00] After this one that you just did. Yeah. After this one that you just did yeah Half hour of you Short break. Yeah half hour of Lance. So it's like speaker box in love below like they outcast album like half this half that That's pretty great you you leave the stage the stage goes black for like three minutes You fucking swap out clothes, put the wig on, hit yourself a little deor. Oh yeah. What are they wear? What are people that like wear clothes? What is dudes like to party and go over clothes? To go over clothes? A guy who goes to clubs. He goes like, what's up girls? Like what's that guy wearing? Yeah, what's the gold chains? What's that guy wearing? Yeah, what's what's gold chains? What's that guy wearing gene jacket? Obviously wife beater underneath right? What is the smell though probably dry type and cheesy guy clone in the this bottle? Some people are really into Cologne man. Did you get in the Protea when I was a kid. I had dracar noir. Oh, that was a big one car was the [1:02:01] I heard all the guys. Hey, you got to get dracar Girls love it. Do do that good. I have no idea some girls like What the fuck he's doing water was big in the night? Yeah, oh Tommy was big for me growing up and then a polo sport was was a hot fragrance I used to do the old spice and after shame you fucking splash your hands You sting your face. Ooh, that's functional though too, because if I don't do that and I shave with a razor, you'll get ingrowns. So, it's functional. It's functional, yeah. Just do that. You're a bit burned by the seal good, you fucking splashed it on your face. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're like Kevin McAllister. Dude, I think Lance. It's fun. Like, I'm bringing them back. I've been doing it more at the store. Would you do that though? That my idea for special? I would. I'll produce it. Oh yeah? How about that? Also, because this is my third traditional special. Like, I've done it. You know what I mean? Right. So it's kind of what you've got going on. [1:03:08] So you could just do an entire Lance tour if you wanted to. Or an entire Faheme tour. You do whatever you want. I also had this idea too because Lance just loves everything. He thinks he can do everything, he can be an actor, he wants me in action movies. He wants to sing and do music. So I might want to do it like where it's like a documentary of like Lance putting on an album and an EP and so, so, so he like tours America doing like shitty venues, but he has like three songs on an album and then the in between of doing songs, he's just like doing crowd work, like thank you for supporting live music and everything and like how I came up with this song, I was like taking a shit at your boss and like just the chords came to me, hit it, you know, so it's like half music, half comedy. Right. That could be a fun different type of special to do. Yeah, I just love, I love when some buss out of character, you know? [1:04:01] Yeah. Yeah. A few things you don't see that much in standup anymore. You don't see like a character because it's scary You'll get shit on a lot when you're a young comic if you do something kind of Non-traditional you can get shit. Oh, so like luckily the Lance happened after I was really established in the comedy store Like I already had Lance is good. It doesn't I know I know even if you weren't established if you came in and just did Lansford sure oh my god it's hilarious but Lance was able to thrive because I already had the if we're gonna let's another person do he is he is he is is a dark half well Lance was able to thrive because I was already beloved at the store like I had earned their respect and stuff right and so because if you start killing with a character and no one knows who you are Right, you're gonna get shit on by the like elders and stuff like so it might take a lot of the store If it's it's a harder sell than if you have no history as a traditional comic Yeah, like it seems like hacky or a trick so the fact that I can do straight But it's not if it's good the dark half yeah [1:05:02] Bad Beaumont a parasitic twin removed from inside his skull when he was 12. What? Since then it's become a critically acclaimed literary writer and a blockbuster crime writer under the pseudonym George Stark who goes on a murderous rampage when Thad kills him off. Yeah, that's the book. It's a crazy, crazy book. I mean, it's fun doing different characters from music stuff. Lanceances inside of it. I did a prom. Can you pull it up? I uploaded it. I need to feed Lance. I will feed Lance. This is gonna be sort of the way that tonight show thing was spoken in existence. This is the new thing. Can you pull up? I did a prom on like a music video for my special. This is just reminding me of the music. I think comics are open to anybody trying anything, as long as it's really good. But the prop, we don't put that same scrutiny on someone trying to stand up for the first time. You know, like, you see someone doing it open like night, you expect him to suck. [1:06:01] It's just so fucking hard. Yeah. But if you see someone doing an open blank night and sucking as a character, you like, you ain't never gonna make a bitch. Right? Keep your it up. What is this? I was special provoked. Comedy special. House money. Instead of doing a trailer for my special, I'm like, let me just do a music video. doing a trailer for my special. I'm like, let me just do a music video. So this kid McCone, he directed it. He does a lot of bad friends stuff too. So we bang this out in a day. You know what's disturbing? That guy could be a very popular music artist. That could be your third career. Your third career is your British actor. Super emo is so thick and satirical British emo songs. I'm not kidding. I was listening to tears for fears and I'm like this has to be my promo bro If you go like way over the top tears for fears like over to the next level of dismay so British [1:07:00] Yeah over the top like so over so you could be that's your next career bro your third career I'm a stacking careers today yeah you're gonna stack careers you're gonna be a mock emo singer from the UK somewhere where it never sunny so on a stop-lender some shit on a lineup who goes where obviously I can't follow land so lands closes up so it'd be me. Lance has to close. This guy opens. Oh he's guy opens. He opens with his corny songs. Right, right. You have these songs. Everybody goes nuts. Right. Short break. You come back as a theme. And then everyone's a bit hard for short break. You kind of hear like, yeah. Lance, Lance, Lance, Lance. Like on a bad idea. The singing's probably bad. But the other two are really good at this. But the singing could make it. I don't want it to make it. It was just a fun promo to do. If you wanted to prove a point. If you had this thing in the back of your head and you're like, you know what? I don't fucking think I'm out of my Eddie Murphy on. [1:08:00] Yeah. My party That's a jam that is a fucking jam. Let's put that on the green room playlist That was produced by Rick James right? Joey Diaz you're on the podcast. Oh I called you yesterday. Hey, I'm here with the him. I love you Joey. How are you? You gotta talk loud. He can't hear you. I love you man. How are you? You gotta talk loud. He can't hear you. Joey, I love you man. How are you? I love you brother. I can hear you listen. Oh, don't tell everybody they'll know. Now the whole world's gonna know. Yes. I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. He's such a sweet guy man. Like. We'll figure out. Oh, mute it. I don't want people to know when it's coming. Okay. Alright mute it One of the fun things about the club is no one knows who's gonna be on stage. I see it because I follow the Instagram account Obviously, it's fun. Any pun it will like who's in town, especially when we do protect our parks Uh, and then it's Ari Norman. It's fun seeing that pop because the audience is losing their fucking minds. Yeah, it's fun [1:09:05] The crowd's like oh my god. It's just a it's a fun place man and You were a part of the beginning of this you really work because you were like one of the first comics it took a chance Move down here. Thanks man. I mean it's very cool to see the scene grow and continue to grow and party things like how big can get And you can pretty big man. It can get pretty big because there's a lot of new people that are doing it and they're really dedicated. Well and if you're a young comic this this seems way more viable than a place like New York or LA that's super saturated and even if you're funny it's hard to get on stage whereas there's more stage time out here. There's a ton of stage time. And it's just like a, it's a different environment. And I always say that this is my girl wants to party all the time. Rick James, remember? Give me some va- Yeah, come on. Oh, I love this shit. We'll get kicked off here too. Yeah, we'll be back on the future. Oh, yeah. Well, congrats on, you know, being back and the deal. Yeah, but we can't play music anymore. Yeah, sure. So, what? [1:10:05] Do you think that we should do? My girl wants to help party off the stage. It's the road in the mix. Yeah, if I do it too good, it'll pick up on the algorithm. Is there a way we can just say, put the full things on Spotify and just cut out the music chunks and tell people we're doing it? Just trying to figure out on the fly. We might have to tell people we're doing it. I don't like being hindered by this nonsense. We wanna hear party all the time. But it's also, it's like, what is fair use? How does that work? I don't know the rulings on stuff. They should be able to talk about one of the greatest fucking things of, what am I to do? How things of songs by a community how many entertainers have ever done as many things as any Murphy has that's nuts Well, that's what's crazy. He did one or how many specials two two or three in his all-time great All-time great Beverly Hills cop comes out. I think oh that's so cool Dude if he wanted to stand up right now if he just wanted to jump back on stage right now [1:11:01] He would start murdering of course right away murdering even watching his comedians and cars just being yeah talking to Jerry there's so many great bits in conversation with him great tragedy that guy doesn't do stand up but he doesn't want to so whatever did you watch SNL I watched Shane's monologue yeah and I watched the Trump sneakers bit it's great man he's such a good sketch performer. He's amazing. Yeah, it's rare that someone is really good at standup and his great at sketch like that too. He said he had a good time. He said for the most part, they were cool to him. Yeah. Yeah, he said it was a good experience. He's glad he did it. I'm glad he did too. It's one of the few times that it's been appointment viewing for SNL, you know? Especially for comics and stuff. Everyone. I'll probably do the roof. Bananas, yeah. I bet the ratings are bananas. My favorite from there when he was on is that Lemo-Imu sketch. But it got cut for time. And I'm watching on the internet. I go, they didn't air this. This is the best sketch. [1:12:00] Uh, well, you know, they have, you know, they run their show, there's a certain order and maybe it got cut for time or something, but when I'm watching, like this is the best. Imagine putting together a new show every week and it not sucking. Right. What are the odds? The odds are so hard to do. I know. Put together a new show every week. That's so hard to do. Did that show mean anything to you growing up? Yes. Yeah, definitely. The John Belushi days, man, I used to watch that. If you watched some of those episodes now, you could never do any of what they were doing. They had some of the wildest shows. Those shows were great. The old set of lives were fucking great. They were really fun Well, that was the only place to see something like that too only place it was nuts You know and then in living color came around and I loved in living color I love that's an L2 in believe in color was insane people forgot how good that was I remember I was at a pool hall the first time I saw it was like I think it was one of those super bold days where like they put had in living color on like during half time. I think it was that was the deal because [1:13:09] everybody was watching in living color. It was a good it was a good and we were why I was like I was watching Jim Carrier's far more show bill with his face all burned off of like this is insane. What is that? I got something. There was nothing like that that had ever been on television before. And it was on Fox, right? Cause Fox took like more chances back then. They had the Simpsons, they had like a little wilder stuff married with children, right? Oh, you know, Racy? Yeah, I saw that I was like, are you out of your fucking mind? It's crazy. This is your mocking a bird victim? I know. On TV. He auditioned for us and the show was not as man, how about a handyman? Oh my god. We had a handycaps super hero. Damien Wands as handyman was hilarious. He did a movie called handyman. I forgot they did a movie. Bro. Are you saying they couldn't do handyman today? Yeah, at least guys. Are you saying they couldn't do men on film? Yeah, the men on film was hilariously. [1:14:08] Oh, it's so I got to work with David Allen Greer when I did like a small guest are on Gerard's show when it was on NBC that Carmichael show. And I was just so star struck as like watching, but he's this this Thesbian guy man, even before living color, he was just this tremendous actor, but he has this crazy comedy gear as well. Right. But that was so cool. Oh my god. Yeah. Jamie has this crazy comedy years well right but that was so cool oh my god you can never out of fucking million years did you see him come in the store and start talking about this but it is a real thing why do they in so many scripts want masculine black men to dress like women How many times that happened? It's the thing, you know, it's a trope right? That's a crazy trope. That's a crazy trope when I think I don't remember who David's talking to I forget who he's talking to when he's explaining this [1:15:05] Wasn't cat talking about that too or is it like I'll can't we just rewrite it to where that's not in there. But it's a real thing. I mean, how many examples are there? And who's writing it? You would think at this point it's such a cliche that you would censor yourself be like, okay, this is almost hack at this point. Like, let me not put this in here. It's a weird thing to ask someone to do. with this in here. It's a weird thing to ask someone to do. It's a weird thing to say, hey, that guy with all the big muscles, let's put him in a dress. It'll be fun. Give him lip stick and give him a wig and give him high heels and call him Wanda. It's gotta be tough too, where you go, cause it's a big break for some people and you go, I don't wanna do this. Right, well the Jamie Foxx one guaranteed was their idea cause it's just a funny character. It's just you couldn't do that today. Yeah. Right, you couldn't do that today. What would that be? I'm kinda like that when it comes to like, terrorist shit, you know? Like, cause you know, when you're a young performer and actor, sometimes the opportunities come through, they go, hey, will you say a lock bar on CSI or some shit? [1:16:09] You know what I mean? I go, I don't know how much this helps my career. You know? Like how am I gonna level up from saying a lock bar and just like disappearing? Right. So it's really not net positive and I'm trying to be a stand of a comedian. So if I was trying to be an actor, then sometimes you're stuck doing Like Samuel Jackson had to do some Parts that maybe he didn't love doing early on a career. Yeah, for sure But it's just that that particular one Getting black men to dress up like women. Yeah That's a fucking weird one man. That's a real one and a weird one like there's so many examples of it And if you think about white men like Muscular white man how many times have muscular white men been asked to dress up like women for funny Way less right fucking way less way more white men in movies Way less white men wearing dresses [1:17:01] That's crazy you got Mrs. Doubtfire, but that's a character that he's doing right? That's kind of different because he's not because he's immersed. He will be like this is dope. Yeah, he's all in. It's not about yeah, you don't even know that's Robin Williams under the right, but what was the two-one food? Oh, yeah, yeah, that was like they were all drawn like was on oh, but that's drag queens. Okay, little different right Because they're all drag queens. Right. So Wesley Snipes gets a pass on that one. Oh, no, Wesley Snipes. Because he's one of the drag queens. Yeah, I love Wesley Snipes. But it was just Wesley in a dress. He'd be like, what the fuck is going on with this movie? Do you think it was initially Wesley? Yeah. And I got this. He needs, let's surround him. when you get condoms at the store, but then you have a banana and then like some candy just to throw you off the sand. That's hilarious. Like with the homo man. I love him. He's so good. He's great in John Wick. Oh, he's in that. Is that the latest one? No, he's in the first one. He's the guy that tells John Wick who killed his dog. [1:18:01] I always think it's so funny. Like that's how much Americans just for people in general love dogs where this guy's dog gets killed and then John Wake murders like people and then everyone the movie it is like yeah that checks out. Yeah that's what you get. Uh huh. A thousand human lives for a puppy piece of shit. It's fucking puppy. I'm gonna install his car too. Don't forget that. I was trying to watch that movie with my girlfriend because I had heard of it. That's hilarious. Yeah, and then she's like, no, I don't want to watch it. Like a puppy gets hurt, I go, they don't show it. It's not like the whole, like they don't show it like, you know what I mean? They Puppy's getting worked over for two hours. You know, like where the diamonds puppy? Oh! I'll tell you when the part's over. And she just didn't even like the thought that a puppy gets hurt. So she mentally couldn't ever get into John Wick. Oh my God. Yeah. You gotta get fast forward to that part. [1:19:01] Right. I'd be like, no, the puppy lives in this version. Just pass the puppy part. Right. I'd be like, no, the puppy lives in this version. Just past the puppy part. Yeah. Even that wasn't enough. I couldn't trick her into watching it. I had to do a solo. But that's like the Barbie movie for dudes. That's a good point. Yeah. It is basically the same thing. Because girls do not want to sit there and watch this handsome man assassinate 150 people. But every guy does you're like babe wake up. Come on. Every guy you're missing. Dude. There's a scene where John Wick goes into the bathhouse and he's trying to kill Vigo's son and he essentially assassinates all the assassins in the bathhouse. It's like one of the most intense scenes in the history of fucking action movies It's so good that when I was doing the sober October challenge with Tom and Ari and Bert and we had a fitness challenge and I just stayed on the elliptical machine, watching that scene like over and over and over again. This fucking scene is intense, man. The first John Wick is absolutely my favorite John Wick. [1:20:02] How many are there to know? There's four. They get a little cartoony. They're still fun, but it's a different thing. Right. Well, once you get deep in the franchise, it gets cartoony. Yeah, the first John Wick was the shit. It was the shit. Such a good movie. It's just fun. Yeah. Yeehaw. Brainlist. Take me away brainless for two hours. Oh, there's a place for that. Yeah, Oppenheimer. I'm like learning all this stuff Right Like I feel like when if they wheel I mean they don't wheel TV's in anymore But when the teachers turn on Oppenheimer you know the classes are fucking lit. Oh, yeah Because that's that's like educational and awesome. Educational awesome and today's yeah I think a lot of kids are gonna get into science because of the fucking that's the crazy thing about Yeah, I think a lot of kids are gonna get into science because of the fucking. That's the crazy thing about scientists, man, is that they were all like intellectual rock stars. They're like these wild, renegade people. Yeah. And a lot of them do some fucking. And I think that was also part of the appeal of being a great scientist, is that you had like groupies. [1:21:01] You know, just like singers. Well, I've noticed that about any profession or art form, form, if you're a guy, you just excel in whatever field it is you are. There are going to be women who are attracted to that field, even if it's stamp collecting. Just women are attracted to excellence and no matter how niche a thing might be. Professional pool players would always bat way over the heads with girls who played pool. Like guys who are really good pool players, they always did way better with girls than they should have. Even stand up. Like if I didn't have stand up, I don't think I would bat. If I was still an engineer at Boeing, I had some guy. But comedy comedy. You have a family by now. I would. You'd have a bunch of kids and a dog. I think about that. How to get the dog trained, it runs on this train. Pretty much. Like entertainment is such a recent development because all the trappings of a traditional life are weight if you're trying to make it with a certain thing. So I think we hit these benchmarks later in life and it's hard, especially when you have like parents who there's a certain time to be doing certain things. [1:22:03] Yeah. Right? Like I should have a house, I should have a wife, I should have kids, I should have a dog. But to do what we do is so labor intensive and hard and so it delays your life a few years. Or at least for these traditional benchmarks. Yeah, you can't, if you're gonna go down this road, it's 10 years before you're any good. It's a long ass road. Me, you can get pretty good before then, but to really get, say like, I think that's okay. I think other people can listen to this. I think other people can watch this. It's like 10 years. And also to get some footing career-wise and financially, only in the last couple of years have I felt kind of comfortable in this as a profession because when I left Boeing It just felt like did I make a mistake because you can't see the other end of the shore. Yeah, so It's hard operating from that space of like is this a viable career Am I have I have I plan enough roots in the comedy game and and like are better now so if you're good and you believe you're good [1:23:07] You got to burn the boats. Yeah, you got to burn the boat. I wouldn't have been doing it if I didn't believe That I had the aptitude if you have a boat To get back to your air conditioned house and eat mangoes You're gonna get back on the fucking boat. You got to burn the boat. Yeah 100% I like that boat in Gattica. You ever watch Gattica? I watched a little bit of it. It's so good. Ethan hung up. Yes. It's Uma Thurman. I think. Yes. About genetics and stuff. I was confusing it with the television show. Oh, but there's this poignancy. Which one am I confusing with? I'll start galactic. No. No, I watched all that. That's great too. That's great. That's one of the most ungraded series. I was watching it when it was on sci-fi and there was shooting and thing. The movie about Christopher before Christopher existed. Gatica. That's right. So there's two brothers. One of them is genetically designed and everything. He has all the gifts of technology. And then Ethan Hawke is like a natural baby, which is kind of a second [1:24:06] class citizen. So they're kind of chugged. They cleaned, they're like janitors and stuff and there's this point in the movie where they used to race or they used to swim and the genetically superior brother would always beat the natural baby Ethan Hawke. And then when they kind of lose touch and at the end they do it one last time, you know? And so Ethan Hawke is winning and this isn't supposed to be happening and he's like how are you doing this? And he's like I never saved anything for the swim back and just that quote It just fucking hits me Because he's doing what's not supposed to be happening, you know, Jesus It's my favorite. I mean if there's one takeaway from me doing Joe Rog. Jesus. It's a good movie. It's my favorite. I mean, there's one takeaway from me doing Joe Rogan-Pog. It's watch gattica. One time I showed it to a girl. I don't think I've seen like it. I've seen like it. I think this is one of those movies that I started and something happened. I got distracted. I stopped. Please watch it. I can't keep up. I can't keep up. I did watch Oppenheimer though. Fucking fascinating. Yeah, I didn't know him in Einstein were boys. That was cool. I don't know they talking upon that much [1:25:10] Yeah, I wonder how much that's legit. You know, it looks good. It looks good You can write a lot of nonsense into a movie right after someone's dead And then he said bitches ain't shit I Said bitches ain't shit. I never said that I never fucking You could really you can kind of like paint a person for sure, you know That was a thing that a big criticism that people had from the Bruce Lee scene in Once one of time in Hollywood, but that was obviously comedy that was interesting when when that really I read it as comedy. Tantino kind of defended it. And they said that Bruce Lee was like known for being very arrogant. And he said something about he had beat Muhammad Ali in a fight. I'm like, that's crazy. If you really said that, that's so insane. Bruce Lee was 135 pounds. [1:26:01] Muhammad Ali at the time was 220 to 25. The greatest boxer of all time. Yeah. If you wait, knock it out, heavy weight. That would have been a great USC match, especially if you're talking about him in like 1967 before they made him retire for three years. He was insanely good. Like, if you want to watch how good Muhammad Ali was, watch Muhammad Ali in 1967 when he fights Cleveland big cat Williams. Always tell him watch that fight. Because Cleveland Williams is this murderous puncher. And Muhammad Ali is putting on a show. He's dancing and moving like you can't believe. Like no heavyweight before him. Remotely moved like him. It's so hard to put it in perspective now because we think about fighters now like we've seen so many great heavyweights. We've seen so many great Walter weights and light heavyweights in this. The world of boxing. We have so much footage but back then in 1967, there was nobody doing that. Where's your footage? Where you want you you're going to get a projecting screen and sit down. [1:27:04] If it's not on TV you're not gonna see it so you watch whatever the fuck they show you on TV and no one had ever seen a guy move like that especially in the heavyweight division he moved like sugar a robinson who was a hundred and forty seven pounder is there anyone comparable you would say no no no there's no one that there's no one comparable in terms of like how different they were than everyone before them. He was so different. Can you please show me some of the Cleveland Big Cat Williams, Muhammad Ali highlights? Bro, he was so different. He would knock eyes out, move in backwards. You know, he decided when he would take it up a notch. He put different paces on you, pop the jab on you, move, make you miss a bunch of times, make you feel stupid, drop his hands, pop you again, pop you again, move around, move around, you can't catch him. And when you're thinking about boxing in 1967, [1:28:01] there's no heavy weights that move like this. They don't exist, man. This guy is a freak. So everybody before him moves like Cleveland does, you know, moving forward, looking to land the big power shots, and look how big Cleveland was. Jesus Christ is eject. Look at the fucking arms on that guy. Murderous puncher. Very dangerous guy. And Ollie's just dancing in front of him. Just shuffling and dancing, just out of range and then eventually he starts catching him, just starts tuning him up. Scoot your head a little bit here. So once he gets loose, he starts opening up with combinations and he moves away and Cleveland moves forward and he pops him with a jab, pops him with a hook, and now Cleveland's be fuddled, right? Because now, you know, I can't hit this fucking guy and he can hit me anytime he wants, which is just, that's not how boxing is in the heavyweight division. Yeah. You have big power punchers with big jabs and guys with great technique, you got Joe Lewis and, you know, you got Floyd Patterson, you got all these different great heavyweights, but none of them fight like this fucking guy [1:29:06] None of them fight like this guy Charge kind of was a style before all ages sort of like slow and steady Well, everybody was just power punchers in the heavyweight division. They're just moved forward They would throw good jabs. They had good boxing fundamentals But they didn't move with the footwork like that that footwork was insane So if you're standing in front of them, the realization after three or four rounds of this is like, I can't take too many more of these. He's not hitting me with one knockout punch, but he's hitting me 150 times in the face. And he's hitting me in a way that I can't hit him back. Look at his pop in this jab, just moving and effortlessly. He would run miles backwards. There's the one, too. That's it. That's the beginning of it. He would run miles backwards. Backwards. Run backwards. So just insane cardio, too. Insane cardio. Insane dedication. So this is one of the most tragic from a boxer's, a boxing fans perspective. One of the most tragic things in boxing is that [1:30:01] they took it away from him for three years. And he was never really this guy again. This guy that you see here in 60s, 70s, stopped training. When he came back and fought after that, he just didn't look like the same guy. He wasn't the same guy. Physically, he didn't maintain his training during those three years off. Look at that, dude. Look how good he was. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? So that was like the most revolutionary thing in boxing, like that guy in 1967. Like one of the most revolutionary things ever. See a heavyweight move like that. And then he got Tyson in the 80s. Yeah, well then he was out of his prime too for a bit, right? Yep, yeah, but he had already No, it's not he gets up Bro, they just let people fucking they let people just be out cold Right there's a famous photo though, right? Were you standing over him or something? No, no, that's a sunny-listing photo That's when he knocked sunny-listing out in Lueston, Maine and they said it was a fixed fight [1:31:03] And it looks a little suspicious You ever seen that one? Knowing that a lot of people suspect this is a fake fight, and that Liston really wasn't hurt that bad that he took a dive, watch this. Because you watch how he's trying to get up. You're like, as a person who's seen a lot of people get knocked out, I've seen probably more people get knocked out. I've seen probably more people get knocked out. Watch it. Here's the right hand. It's a solid right hand. Absolutely legit. No doubt about it. But watch how Liston goes down. So a lot of people said that it was a phantom punch. It's not a phantom punch. It's an absolute watch this. Over the top. Boom. See the jaw shift? That's a real punch. That's a real knockdown. That's not a dive. But what happens is when Liston goes down, see, throws his jab, Ali comes over the top and bang. That's a 100% Liston punch. But when Liston goes down, that's when it gets shenanigans. See if they scoot ahead to watch, if they, is this just, it's just the point. Okay, just show me the actual knockout. [1:32:04] There it is, Is that it? You got it. So you got to see when he gets up. Because when he gets up, that's when it looks fake. When he gets up, when he's down, no, this is like a bunch of different fights. See if you can find it. Did you box or what you're always doing? I did some kickboxing. Here it is. Here it is right here. So he not he hits him. He knocks him down. Now watch. He goes down. Now this is where it gets a little shenanigan. See I'm watching a roll around. He gets to his knees and he falls back down. It just looks a little like he's not trying to stop himself from going but to his back, it looks a little funky. It looks a little funky. So like he gets up and look, he's looking away. He's not even looking at Ali. So they're not deciding yet whether or not the fight is stopped. And now Ali is fucking teeing off on him. [1:33:05] And then they stopped the fight. It was very shenanigan. You know, it looked a little shenanigan. He made contact though, I don't know. But it's also like the humiliation that Liston suffered from the first fight. The first fight was 100% legit. Yeah. And the first fight when he fought sunny Liston, sunny Liston was this murderous puncher man. He was one of the most murderous punches ever He fucked up Floyd Patterson so bad. He was so dangerous. He was so scary and he was a thug like he was a crazy Do like during one of the press conferences see if you can find this Ollie was talking crazy shit listen pulled out a fucking gun. He pulled out a gun shot through the fucking ceiling Are these people everybody scrambled are they legit nutty like that or this partly PR for the fight like if I shoot a gun this will draw eyeballs no no no no that was who sonny listen what and what my homie i'll leave his doing is trying to get into his head she's blanks Thanks. Here it is. [1:34:08] Oh shit Yeah He's putting it in his nose. Oh my god. Oh, I Have you terrified it by the way those kids still kill you like people that put blanks up to their head the force of the gas Coming out of the barrel the gun can kill you and it has killed people a guy did it on set once he you know just fucking around with a blank they have so much protocol whenever there's a gun so that's so scary quick yeah look how fast is fucking reflexes were he dodgeable it yeah legitimately bro but he would constantly talk shit at every press conference [1:35:07] It got so bad to the point where when they did his like the weigh-in thing like after the weigh-in his heart rate was so high His blood pressure was so high that they had to calm him down or they weren't gonna let him fight Because he just like worked himself up into a frenzy to fuck with Liston He would show up in front of Liston's house and yell on his front lawn. Like he climbed into that dude's head. Oh, I'm sure. How crazy to be that gifted as a fighter and that gifted as a shit talker as well. Unprecedented shit talker. No one before him did poetry. No one did rhymes. Like you don't understand. He did his work to get inside. My parents were hippies and they had to watch when Muhammad Ali was rematching Leon Spinks because on television. That's how much of like a cultural icon that guy was because he stood against the Vietnam War [1:36:01] and that's why he lost three years of his career when he was in his prime. In 1967 he's like, I'm not going to Vietnam. He goes, no, Vietnam Con ever did shit to Vietnam War and that's why he lost three years of his career when he was in his prime in 1967 He's like I'm not going to Vietnam. He goes no. Viet Cong ever did shit to me. Yeah, I'm not doing this and They took away his ability to box for three years and You know my parents are like very anti-war they were like This is our guy like the whole country was like this me This is a person who represented sense. He made sense when the world was going crazy and they were talking people into fighting this nonsense war in Vietnam. And you could possibly lose your life or lose a leg or lose a friend or lose your father or lose your, what? And he was like, fuck that and he was right. Yeah, it was one of those things that it took years to get clarity on it as a collective whole society where it's at the time, he's probably raked over the colds, right? 100%. There's a lot of people that didn't, look, we had associated wars before Vietnam with these just wars, like World War I and World War II. [1:37:03] We thought of those as just wars. Like you're trying to stop evil. There's a guy who's hopped up on meth in Germany and he literally, literally hopped up on meth. That was a simple one. Try to take over the world. That's a simple one. These are just wars, right? By the way, they're not simple. They're super complicated. And there at war to stop communism in Vietnam We at the time I think collectively there was a lot of like hardcore fucking blue collar Republican type people that were like yeah, you got to do what the fuck you have to do to protect freedom right and you got but then they didn't know that the whole thing was staged. They didn't know that that Gulf of Tonkin incident was a false flag just to justify as getting into that crazy ass war. For who knows what reason? Or there's a lot of them, a lot of reasons. So now people have a different sort of feeling when it comes to war. [1:38:00] So you think that was the first time I would like to play fuck a war by the ghetto boys but Spotify will allow this and Do you know that song and maybe if I heard it bro give me a little bit of this will he wrote that in 45 minutes? It's a fucking great song man. It's a great song and it's so, it's right, he's right. He's right. And, you know. It's interesting to see the evolution of rap, you know, like when it started it was like very socially conscious and stuff. I know they're still doing that, but in terms of what becomes popular on a like pop scale for rap, do you know Russ at all, it's interesting here him talk about, he's this hip-hop artist who's like independent, he was on a flagrant talking about rap. And like what happens is a certain type of rap gets popular and then it becomes uncool or you move to the next thing. Like being socially conscious is cool and then just having fun and wiling out is cool and then what's the next phase, you know? [1:39:00] Yeah. So it's not like it doesn't exist. It just becomes smaller piece of the larger genre pie. And now rap is so big, there's sub-genres of it like rock. You know, there's indie rock. There's and now there's emo rap. There's. Well, there always kind of was different genres, even back in the day, like I was always a big day last whole fan. Yeah, same. Three's the magic number. That's a jam son. That's a jam and that was very different. Very different kind of hip hop. And but now it's getting so granular, even more so. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that's just kind of interesting. I was like, oh yeah, it's different. It's like a third base. How did third, were they like I? Hot holes the weasel goes the weasel goes pop. You know, yeah, they're white guys, you don't remember that? Did one of the flat top? They had like a distance track against vanilla ice. Yeah, I like that better. That's fun. Hop goes to Weasel. In Vanilla is the Weasel. It's people that go pop. People, they were hardcore. Third Bay. Oh, Yannis is talking about this. What's interesting is that dude eventually went on to host a daytime talk show. Which is like the poppiest thing of all time. [1:40:05] Like a Ricky Lake type thing? Yeah, like one of them things. Did you have the flat top? I believe you kept the flat top. You've only hosted a show. That's impressive though, that's an impressive flat top. It was a serious flat top. I don't even know how you get that going on as a white guy. There must be some products involved. MC search. MC search. They're good though man. Third base was good. Oh yeah. They had some great jams and MC search had a great great album himself too. It was great. They were good but for whatever reason the white guy rapper there's only one. Well I mean the big one. Eminem. Yeah. There's other ones. Well there's other great white rappers don't get me wrong. But... He had to be so technically proficient and it's amazing what he had to do to be able to be accepted. He needed the vouch, he needed to have the skill set that he has. Because before him, I think young people don't realize, that's what's kind of cool about the younger generation, like Gen Z and stuff, is they just like art. [1:41:02] They don't care what your vessel is. Right. Like there's a rapper Rich Bryan. He's Asian. And like he's great at rapping, you know, but he's like an Asian kid. Whereas before you weren't able to receive music from a vessel that looks different than what the one is. Well, and then there was my man, every last house of pain. That was the best of like the white rap bands by far house of pain was awesome Do jump around oh jump around this day when that song comes out for the UFC when someone comes out as that song for a walking song That is a great fucking walking song. That's a great. I'm in the gym song. You know, that's a great driving song Let that's a let's fucking go song. That's a let's fucking go song. Oh You know it is immediately And then that's it This is the beautiful freedom that we have on Spotify. I think we're gonna start doing that, Jamie. [1:42:05] I'm not gonna- Just Spotify exclusive. Yeah, just have little clips. Cut it out for YouTube. People know. We'll know. We'll put the full one out on Spotify. The vibe corner. Goddamn these rules. So what is- Tuck in rules, bro. How is the new deal different than like a big part of it. That makes sense, yeah. After the election cycle then. Yeah, then I could discuss. Go back to it. The bombings. Right. Yeah. It's just gonna be everywhere now. Well, it's gonna be on Apple, Amazon, and YouTube, as well as on Spotify. That's pretty great. That's awesome. It's cool. So it's kind of like the way it was before the movie Spotify. Like you're getting pretty much. Yeah, pretty much But my deals with Spotify right so Spotify and art like it's instead of You know they have a vested interest in being successful everywhere So we're all in it together. Oh, is that the thought like yeah, we're drawing people in [1:43:02] Levia Apple, these different YouTube pages. And they'll make money off of it being on the other shows too. Okay. It's all good. It's good for everybody. Yeah. It's good. And it's a wider distribution is good. And it's just like, people get attached to certain platforms. Some people are super attached to Apple and I used to be as well. I used to get all my podcasts on Apple. It was super convenient, it uploads automatically, you can set it like that, so you know when the new episodes are up, it's perfect. Works great. So I get if they didn't want to switch over, listen to Spotify. I mean, I knew that when we first started doing it, I was like, well, I don't know if people are going to be like, sorry, there's a lot of shit to listen to, which is great. It's fucking great time if you're interested in listening to stuff. I mean, the amount of audiobooks available are fucking insane. It's insane. You could never go bored. You will always get entertained or educated or something. There's so many of them. [1:44:01] But the amount of podcasts now are, it's bonkers. There's like five million podcasts. Yeah, I remember years ago talking of Ari at the store, this is maybe like, when podcasting was two point oh, or I'm like, ah, everyone has a podcast and he's like, everyone has a TV show. They don't stop making TV shows and that was really eye opening to me too. Like just because there's a lot of them, doesn't mean there's no place for new ones and such. Well, I used to tell so many people to do a podcast that it was a meme that it was annoying. I was telling everyone to do a podcast. And I wasn't right. You, you. I wasn't sure. Yeah, I wanna apologize to society for a couple of times. But I felt like, and's the easiest road, but I think if you're a person who's interesting to talk to, you could find other people that are also interesting to talk to and sit down and people enjoy it. It's like you can do it, but it's going to take some work. So if you dedicate yourself to it and try to figure out what you're doing wrong, what you're doing right, what makes you annoying, what's more interesting. [1:45:06] If you do it right, treat it like having any other thing, you'll get better at it. But it's not gonna come easy. There's too many of them out there. But it does, it's free. It's free. You could just do it. You could just upload it to YouTube. It doesn't cost that much. Right And it's not like you're filming a sitcom and it costs so much a sound stage. The overhead is so low to do a podcast. So it's worth the trial of doing it. And also I think just in the standup space, it's a great two-hander because you don't always put a special out all the time and like being able to check in with your fans a week to week, they like that. Just being a part of your live and stuff and then they kind of want to know what your baseline is off stage as well, because then they feel closer to use a performer, you know? Like access is the new mystery I feel like in entertainment. Whereas before it was like, oh Humphrey Bogart or these Starlets, you only got glimpses of what they were. And but now that's almost like a kiss of death. You have to be like, hey guys, here I am. You know, I'm at Whole Foods. I'm getting like access. [1:46:06] They want to feel like, oh, I know them. You know, that's valuable. Yeah. The only guy who doesn't have to play that game anymore is like Daniel DeLewis. He can make shoes. He can make shoes. Like no one's telling Daniel DeLewis to live tweet. Well, there's certain actors that are on the fringes, right? Not on the fringes, meaning that everybody knows who they are, but they might not be the first pick for a big project, right? And the only way they think they can keep their name out there is do stuff. So they have to get photographed on red carpets and they have to sometimes tell the proper odds who are they gonna be. They have publicists that set things up so you can casually see them doing something, like working into me, like working out on the beach. Yeah, yeah. You know, some shit like that. You guys are here. Oh, how crazy. I look great. I'm oiled up. Right. What are the odds? Yeah, there's some silliness to it, but I get it. It's a business. that you're making. I get it. But it's just like, that's a different thing than comics. [1:47:06] You know, with us, the best thing that we have going on is like this network of all of us. That's the best thing we have going on. Because now instead of relying on like comedy, central to tell you who's good or it's a total meritocracy and it's almost always entirely based on, are you funny and are you fun? Are you fun hanging around with yeah, and if you're funny and fun hanging around with yay We're all gonna have fun and that's great for everybody. It's awesome Man listening. It's great for us. I'm so for your form popping that that it's shifted this way And now this is like a viable release route for me like I have the special coming out I get to do this I get to do bad friends. I get to be chosen You don't have to be chosen and also like who better than other comedians to know what's what in the field right? It we don't have any agenda We're in the streets. We see what's going on where sometimes you get so high up at these corporations They just they're like okay. We okay, we need this demo, we need this person, this guy's from this agency, [1:48:06] that's a favor, there's all this fuckery. A lot of fuckery. There's so much fuckery. They should not be in control of this art form. It's not their art form, it's our art form. You're seeing the cracks now, it's crumbling. I mean, I just have an agency. And I'm getting approached sometimes, but we're at a point in entertainment and culture and stuff where what value does a 90s type manager have anymore? Because the blueprint is different now. These Hollywood opportunities don't help me as a standup comedian anymore. It depends on what kind of a manager you have. If you have a really good manager, a really good manager is very beneficial because they can strategize with you about what you do and what the pros and cons of what you do are and what's the best business decision and how do you feel artistically about your [1:49:00] set now? Have we thought about holding off for six months? You have people that are confident. Yeah, there's value in that if you find the right person and they're keyed into what you're doing, but sometimes you go places, you're just part of a roster. Yes. Like, there's a problem in the same thing. It's like factory farming. The factory farming comedy. They try to get as many comics as they get into some of them. They're collecting you and hoping you pop exactly and they just siphon off some 10% But when you're a young comic and you're coming up the idea of being in a management company is a fucking huge deal So yeah, and it is an opportunity too because they can get you some things that you're not gonna get without it For sure also you booked it improvs. They'll get you some good gigs So it like also where you are in your career like I've I'm deep deep. Like I have a lot of connections. Deep. I'm deep, dude. I know you. You know, I'm texting you. You should write that. That should be a new special. I'm deep, bro. Let's get stuff. Well, yeah, I'm deep, bro. That's it. What are making this happen? I'm deep, bro. I'm deep [1:50:09] I'm deep. I'm deep bro. He can say deep, but some people still mock him slur is to me Yeah, they call him the stupidest mark I alive. I'm like, okay. Are you gonna get a rolling? Are you gonna be like a height these just no sitting in line? I will when I know that it's inevitable Yeah, I Just sitting in line. I will when I know that it's inevitable. I will give up just like all of us will. Just like the people that wouldn't wear shoes forever. And then why are I choosing shoes are pretty good. They're way better than those shoes. Fucking stepping on rocks and shit. Right. I think it's just funny. Die from infection. The guy who was waiting it out, like, all right, I'll do shoes now. Yeah, look at the cool certain points like yeah they were right. You can run away from cats. I don't have talks though. I don't have talks though anymore. I think at a certain point in time, everyone's gonna get something. There's gonna be some benefits to whatever it is, some interface whether you wear it or whether it's part of your body. There's gonna be benefits that you can't get without it. [1:51:00] Have you done the Apple Vision Pro yet? I have not, I am scared. I am scared. I am scared of apple vision pro. Oh, how so? I don't want to be walking around my fucking house. Are you afraid you're going to like it? 100%. I'm afraid I'm going to be sitting in my office watching movies instead of doing shit that I should be doing. They show images of people on a plane with an apple vision pro. I would just be so mortified to have that Strap to my head on a plane. I would definitely strap it to my head on a plane really yeah, man You're on a fucking plane wouldn't you rather watch a giant 3d movie? It's just so it's just you can watch avatar in 3d on this fucking plane Yeah, while you're smelling that guy's next to use farts, right? You're in the fucking jungle and all of a sudden you like like Jesus Christ. Is this the thing about Apple Vision Pro? They're like, oh bro, smelling people's farts on planes. One of the worst parts about flying. Well, you ever get a seat that's right. I mean, not anymore for you, but like you're next to the laboratory. You're like, oh, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you Just breathing in, poops, steam. Yeah, sometimes I don't book a seat because it'll be extra if you do it ahead of time. [1:52:09] And then you just, if you leave it to the machine, sometimes you get fucked. Bro, dropping a log on a public flight is a nightmare. Yeah, that's a joke or shit. It's a nightmare. You get in there and you got to drop a log. It's kind of- It's people waiting to get in. It's kind of thrilling. If you've ever shit on a plane, it's the pinnacle of technology. Kind of. You like fuck the wheel, being able to shit in the sky. Yeah. Sometimes I think about like, man, what if the plane was see-through or something? You know what's wild? Is that sometimes when that shit, you know, it basically freezes until like a brick and sometimes like people have been hit by it. They just drop it. I don't know how they dispose of it normally, but I know that like people's houses have been hit by shit bricks. But they get a nice little payout, huh? I would hope you get a good payoff, if frozen shit from 250 passengers falls from the sky and hits your fucking house. You just have a neck brace. [1:53:01] Oh my god. A frozen piece of shit from a Delta flight rocked me, but I got the money I Desired, I don't normally get rid of that stuff, Jamie. They probably, they probably They, they, they, they, when they land or something, I would imagine that's what they do it now. Yeah, but I do know that there's at At least one story that I read about a house that got hit with a rock of shit Look at my, but you're responsible fucking cargo plane They like they they Dave Matthews it remember that story when they dropped a bunch of shit like from the tour bus And it landed on some people that Dave Matthews tour bus They got they got trouble for that. Yeah, they don't shit from their tour bus I don't think Dave Matthews green lit it, but whoever was writing over the Chicago River I, like they emptied the builds tube and it just like, I might even have gotten people that were one of those boats that went underneath it. What an honor though, Dave Matthews shit drenching you. Like if you're a huge fan. Bro, that got fired. That's the crazy roadie that gets some pills. He's like, how are you going to fucking go? [1:54:02] I'm here, that shit right here in the river, bro. There's a plaque there, here you go. The plaque happened. It shows it the afternoon of August 8th, 2004, at this very location, the Dave Matthews band tour bus, emptied the septic tank over the Chicago River. You can pass me that on a boat. Drenching passengers on a boat tour with 800 pounds of human poop. No one died that day, but many wish they had. There you go. Wow. That's so much poop. The poop fallen from the sky thing here is interesting. But hold on, but just that one that's real. I've been on that boat tour. Could you imagine you just open the pipe over the water on a bridge? Well just bad timing. What if those people weren't there? Would they have open the pipe over the water on a bridge. We'll just bat time, man. What if those people weren't there? Would they have gotten away with it? Did he even check? That's a good point. How do you not know? How do you not know? There's not a boat filled with a tour of people. Because it's an architectural tour. You're taking in all these wonderful buildings. [1:55:01] Oh, you get drenched with shit from the sky. Do you think you feel better when you find out at today's Matthews though? Because you just think it's a rando shit. Well, you think you get paid. That's a good point. How did that go down? There had to be a lawsuit, right? I thought I had something to do. You can come to a concert. You got 18 months of probation, 150 hours of media service. Stefan Wall, bro. $10,000 fine, which is paid to the French Chicago River. That's it. I would do it again for that price. We're not on the BUS. The BUS, which is reportedly being used by the band violinist Boy Tinsley, was not occupied at the time of the incident. The Dave Matthews band eventually agreed to pay $200,000 to settle a lawsuit filed by state attorney general Lisa Madigan. We'll never drove a bus for the band again. I won't feel like we're watching a movie. A man. And it's like the end of the day. It's like we'll never drove a bus again. I mean, uh-huh. And then you see the credits after that. So one, please do a biopic on this bus driver. [1:56:01] Pro, imagine if they didn't fire them. Imagine they're like, hey, people make mistakes. You got good pills. You drive that bus bro. I vouch for him. He had one slip up. It was a mistake. He's great in every other regard. He pressed the wrong button. Don't judge this poop thing. And dump poop 800 pounds of it. Bro, how about drain that thing for it gets to 800 pounds? I know that people are shitting in there. He's got it. Read in the thing about the planes. I've never even thought of this. And this is disgusting. Cruise lines. Oh, God. That's so much to you. That's so much to me. That there's apparently a law, for example, sewage needs to be treated if it's going to be flushed within three miles of the coastline. Oh my God. The wonder out in the middle of nowhere. And it's not about that. Average cruise ship generates an average of 21,000 gallons of sewage and 170,000 gallons of what they call gray water, which is water from the drains of sink showers, laundry machines, and has all sorts of stuff. [1:57:01] It's a mini Fukushima all over the ocean. They just send in the elderly Japanese people to fix the septic league in there. It's a mini Fukushima everywhere in the ocean. Oh, and on the space station since urine is 90% water, they kind of reuse some of it, it says. Oh, good, cycle it. They recycle the water since to a process or business. That's less discussed I know it is, but. But the, man. Have you done cruise ship stand up on a cruise ship? No, no. You wanna hear something crazy? They took cargo boats and for the UN climate change standards, they changed the emission standards of these cargo boats and a very unexpected thing happened. The water temperature got warmer because there's less hot haze in the sky so the haze in the sky was actually cooling things off so they're fucking pollution from these cargo ships the diminishing of the pollution from the cargo ships actually made the water warmer. The total opposite thing they wanted to happen [1:58:02] happened. And then what do they do? Just like whoops. Whoops. Whoops. We had a theory. Which is what's a lot of this like climate change speculation is all about whoops. There's a lot of, oh, well, we didn't see that coming. Yeah. What scares the fuck out of me, dude, is a ice age. And ice age scares the fuck out of me because that's not a there's not god damn thing you could do about it I'm not happy if the world gets warmer and we lose California, but You know mm-hmm move in move in fucking the reason why Atlantis is at the bottom of the ocean kids Okay, things change these change adjust and move I was here when there was that the Blizzard in Austin I was out here. Let's not bring in a goddamn ice age. Yeah. When these crazy fuckers are talking about spraying things in the sky to cool the earth down like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's talk this through first. The whole fucking planet, not you wacky dudes talking to strange scientists in the middle of the Pentagon. [1:59:06] Like let's all talk this through. Before we do anything. Let's all talk this through before you spray the sky to cool the earth off and bring in hell, bring in the white walkers. It's going to turn into Game of Thrones. The last thing you want is to get colder. That is the fucking last thing you want. Take it from a guy who's been camping in Montana. You do not want to be in the cold. You don't, you don't want it. You don't want fucking mile high caps of ice over most of North America. Like it was 10,000 years ago. Are you stupid? It gets to like 50 in LA and I'm like this is cold. This is not bad. Like what we got going on if this is like This is not bad if he gets a little warmer. It's not as good But we're gonna be okay We can sort out warming right and the fucking ocean levels is kind of the same like what happened to all that [2:00:01] Al Gore stuff remember from that movie. Oh, yeah. I thought Miami's gonna be under water right now. That's it really, I thought we were watching that duck. What were the predictions? Cause they were kind of crazy. And none of them came true. Like we'd be swimming in this podcast. We'd be fun. We'd be done. We'd be done. Yeah, this is too low. We're only at like 1, level. I can tell you I'm not wearing my green watch. I have a watch that'll tell you where you're at. Really? Pretty dope. I just do the Apple watch. Pre-doped and not. The Apple watch is kind of like the Prius of watches. Like people can't tell if you're rich or poor. Well Apple watch is a great watch and the Ultra is the shit that Apple watch Ultra Red does. Oh yeah. That is the shit. How is it different than like what I got? It's just bigger, more battery, more features, a larger screen. It's a little bit more like I'm a robot. Uh, this is so dumb, but like the biggest feature I use on this watch is like what I'm cooking and I'm like, set timer for two minutes. Like I'm dicked crazy. Right. I use it for laundry. I just use it as a timer. That's like the big sell to me. Well, you know, Red Band is like a giant decade. I imagine he's on an apple vision right now. Yeah, most likely. The most earliest adopter. He has an neural link right now, I'm sure. [2:01:06] He'll get that for sure. Yeah. He'll be the first to take you to eating. He's like, he's like, it's got some kinks. Yeah. He's bleeding. I'm pushing away to, they're gonna fix it. I'm giving some notes to Elon, but it's good. I'm glad I did it. If you do get it, you will have such an advantage. That's the problem. If it does work, the thing is like, if it works and what are the side effects? And how long is it last? What if it breaks? And what if Russia hacks it? You're speaking Russian. What if they hack it? What if like the moment it gets to a certain number of people that have it, China flips a switch? I mean, just something being in your brain is such a big cell, right? That's a hard cell. That's a fucking hard cell. But then there's toxoplasmosis, which is in there for 40% of us. What is plasmosis? It's what we talked about earlier, the cat thing. Toxo. Fuck. You're just willing to get toxo? Yeah, maybe the cell phone thing will be like a neurological electronic talk so what what is the promise of neural link [2:02:08] well initially the first person that they did it on which is fairly recently is a person who's paralyzed and through neural link he can now move a cursor around and he can do things and he's going to be able to like express himself he the way elan said at the speed of a carnival barker. Wow. Yeah. He'll be able to- Those guys are fast. They're fast. They're fast. Yeah. So the idea is that he'll be able to communicate, which is for a person who's been paralyzed and can't operate a cursor or computer is huge. So that's one thing. They're eventually think they may be able to use it to let people who have been paralyzed move. Like a walk again? Yeah. What is the work that's been done on that specifically, Jamie? I don't wanna talk out of school. I'm just one of the people. The people being able to eventually, [2:03:00] they hope that it'd be able to restore movement to people with nerve damage. Right now I think there's still, when I look to stuff online there's a little bit of a pushback from some people. Of course. Because the only way that this has been announced that it works is just Elon's tweet. There isn't been any other proof, I guess if you will. I'm all in. If Elon tweeted it's gotta be legit. Yeah. He's a wild boy. He's so wild. He just tweets things. Does he come by the club a lot? He's been the club. Has he been the club? I imagine he's so busy. A lot of the stuff he's hanging there every day. No, I don't think he has been. He might have what came down when Dave was here. Oh. But it's awesome having him around. He's a fascinating dude. I mean how exciting for the comics like, yeah, he called here Well, he came to a bunch of our shows when he had stubs. Oh cool. Yeah It's like that was when there was nothing to do. Well, I got to do one of those stubs shows So I had that writing job as like Willy Wonka you're like, hey, I'm doing a show with me and she pal it stubs You want to I'm literally like writing a sitcom, you know, I'm in a writers room And it's like kind of boring and to get this awesome like call call to the you know, bullpen like yo [2:04:10] Do you want to come like yeah, let me ask them real quick I go and I still have to add I'm like hey guy I might do a show Joe Rogan and Dave she pelled And I can I leave like 30 minutes early and they're so cool. They're like yeah yeah, yeah, go, it's like a rom comedy. Like, what are you doing go after her? You're a rom comedy. You know, because like, this is very cool for them. I'm like very fortunate, they're very supportive and stuff and stand-ups can like rock starry and they're very cool. Like, yeah, please take the, leave 30 minutes early, do the show, tell us how it is. So envious, like have fun. And then you pick me up in your fucking muscle car. You get better and better and better. You know, it gets more absurd. I told you I was gonna pick you up with the coolest car you've ever seen. Yeah, you'll hear it coming. And literally you show either. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh- Boat that things America. Yeah, and then should pal you showed him the car. I remember after the show [2:05:07] And he's just like floored He's like what all let me check out me to check this thing out Well, and he was loving the car and then we drove to the after pretty. Yeah, this was just such a surreal night for me Because we do the show. It's amazing. It's an alternate universe where comedy is happening It's not happening in LA, you know the show show's amazing, it's fun, and then, and then we, I'm just laying in the cut. I don't wanna overextend, I'm just so grateful to be doing, to be asked to do the show when you already drove me. So all the comics and Dave's friends and stuff are piled in the car. Dave is in the passenger seat, and then you're like, hey, if he ain't get in, like I wasn't even gonna ask, I was gonna Uber, I was just gonna be forgotten, you know? But you're like, if he ain't get in, so Dave Chappelle has to like do the human thing of like pushing his seat up. So I'm like, excuse me Mr. Chappelle, can I? You know? You know? So I'm having a squishshapel to get into the back of this car and then you just like, you're ripping. [2:06:06] You're ripping in this thing. And I just thought like, man, if I died in this car, I would not make the article. It would say Joe Rogan, Dave Chappelle, and like two other guys died. You know what I mean? They probably mentioned your name, dude. I don't know, I don't know. But at that moment, at that moment, no, I would be a guy. But that was such a fun experience. Just like what a wild night. Yeah, it was very fun. Those shows of stubs were like medicine, you know? It didn't really realize how much we needed. Well, have a good time. The crowds too, they were so appreciative. That's one of the things I noticed when I was doing stand-up out here is the thirst and it was human nature for as much as we needed it, the audience needed it too, to have that kind of release and something to go to rather than just being in your house all day. Yeah, yeah, people felt trapped and they didn't, it didn't make sense when a bunch of them, [2:07:03] one of the things we did at the shows of the Vulcan, like how many guys had COVID? And like more than half the crowd would raise their hands, you know? Like who wants to get it tonight? You get them all on stage. Open your mouth. Ah, like you've been baptized. Yeah, it was weird. The power of COVID compelled you. People started treating it like a regular cold. Well, that's, I feel like that's what it is now. It definitely is now. Unless you're insane, you're one of those people that talks outside with a fucking mask on. There's still some people that are insane. They're just insane. But it's also a leftist flag. I say it's like the Democrats' MAGA hat. Yeah. Where that mask, unless you're an old person and you're really scared and you have a bad immune system, I get it. When I see it in the grocery store, it's like, it's like seeing someone in a throwback jersey. You get on a meal like, ah, okay. It's like a cool old mariners jersey. A lot of people that still believe in it. They still believe that you could breathe or something and it protects you from a terrible disease. Could you imagine like thinking that the plague is in this neighborhood like like some fucking 28 days later diseases in this neighborhood [2:08:07] You can just pull paper mask over your face. You're good. You feel comfortable. How about what's going in your eyes? Stupid because that's one of the major ways that people get infected It's through eye contact through hand to eye, right? Like your eyes like where people sneeze you get in your eyes You ever see fucking you tell me you're breathing air How's it getting into your face? You'll see like rapid COVID testing places on corners And I almost look at those is like a psychic spot, you know what I mean? It kind of has the same feel like Who's going into these? Oh? Yeah, super inaccurate. No bunch of people tested negative turned out to be positive It's it's tricky man that fucking disease keeps mutating. A bunch of hundred different fucking strains now. Who knows how many different variants are there now? Yeah. It's like, 5-6. How many variants are there? Seven? How many COVID variants have been identified? [2:09:00] Let's find that out. Let's say, yes. This is the COVID virus. I say there's 14. I say 14. I'm gonna price is right you 15 I hope it's 14 Come on. What's the low number you think it is? Uh eight. I think seven. I'm gonna prices right you bitch fuck I got to walk behind the set of prices right while it was taping real it was kind of not yeah cuz like my girlfriend It's true carry doing it. Yeah, oh that's true. Well, he's a great dude like during during the strike He was paying every like there's that diner Swingers he was paying everybody's bill so it you could get a free meal Oh, wow as a nice guy just as part of the writer's strike like So you could get a free meal. Oh wow. As a nice guy, just as part of the writer's strike, like if you were in the WGA or whatever, all your meals were covered. That's amazing. Yeah. Good for him. That's beautiful. He's, everybody says that. That's just a stand-up guy. He came by the Hollywood improv one time. That was kind of cool, because he's pops in a ton. Yeah, I met him at the improv one night and he was given really good advice of some young comic. [2:10:06] What was the advice? Who's saying just if you could write one minute joke every day? Just write one joke every day. Over time, you'd be surprised in how much material you could write. That's how I feel about writing totally. You just kind of build it in pieces and then if you are regimented about it, when you look back at your notes, you've done all the work. I always feel like it's like mining. You know that sometimes I just hit rocks, I'm just hitting rocks, but every now and then if I keep mining, I find something cool. Variance of concern. Hmm. So there's classifications. Right. I guess we could play this game. How many variants of concern? Yeah, let's be concerned. Okay. Let's okay. Let's let's start with that. How many variants of concern are there? There's Three three variants of concern your way off their Omicron variants. Okay. There's a Under monitoring, which has got two so we're at five. So it's five under now deescalated over 50 of that [2:11:03] So it's 500 and now deescalated. It's over 50 of that. Whoa. This looks like a lot of it. Over 50. Holy shit, dude. I don't know how they classify themselves. Bro, that's crazy. There's 50 variants. No longer circulating. Like it's not hip anymore. Yeah, it's just there's different. Spike mutations of interest. Oh, God. Yeah, I don't there's different spike mutations of interest. Oh God. Yeah. I don't know how scary is all that stuff. How scary is it they keep doing this gain of function research? So like let's just keep oh is that is that how come it started the gain of function? That's the primary theory. What is gain of function? Gain of function is when you take a virus and you engineer it to make it So that it works on humans. So they'll take a virus that works on bats And they'll engineer it so that human beings can catch it. Like let us get it right there. Yeah. And they make it like super contagious. Also a great idea. For those unfamiliar, unfamiliar with gain of function research essentially means juicing up naturally [2:12:01] occurring animal viruses in a lab that make them more infectious amongst humans. It's practice is nothing new. Scientists in the United States have long known how to mutate animal viruses to infect humans. Sure. Yeah. The practice is nothing new. It doesn't mean it's not a fucking terrible idea. Like what good is come out of it? That's my question. Do you guys know how to stop these things from happening? Because it seems like it didn't stop that last one. So what benefit are we getting? From the potential of you unleashing deadly super viruses to the world. And is this a thing where because you can do it, you do it because you can get funding because that's where you studied in school. They just got bored. I think it's like, what is that thing? What's with your businesses? What's your business? My business is studying viruses. Can I get research to study, can I get funds? Well, if you agree with what we say, and publicly, we'll give you funds, and you can do research, and oh, it's not legal for us to fund that research. Why don't we fund this company? [2:13:00] And that company of the company is doing what you can say, I don't know what you're talking about. And then you could change what you describe as gain of function. And you could say, I am the expert, I am science, and that's what we went through. We went through that for three fucking years. It's all about funding, man. And at the end of the day, it's pretty clear that shit came from a lab. It's pretty clear to all the people that are making any fucking sense that aren't gaslighting the fuck out of you. I always thought about like, what if you're the guy who loved batwing soup and it was getting a bad rap unnecessarily? Like guys, it's not the batwing soup. And now he's vindicated, like yes. It's the last, I can continue eating the soup. I can keep eating pangolin stew. Yeah, you gave my stew a bad name. Yeah. Remember they were trying to pin it on the pangolin? That was a little... Oh, that South Park episode was amazing. You're a animal. Oh, freakyist. Freakyist little animal. Like a little dinosaur. Kind of a cute guy though. Again, just like that fucking turtle. If that thing was gigantic, storming through a village. Imagine, I mean, imagine a monster, [2:14:05] like it's eating ants here, but imagine just eating humans. Imagine just plowing through some fucking fat chuts. That tongue just slicing you in half. Just ripping people's legs apart in front of their families. Just chewing them, choking them down. Have you eaten bugs? Giant Pangolin, yeah, I've eaten a bunch of bugs. I hosted Fear of Actors on it. Oh, So is that part of it you had to eat it? No, I did it because like I did it to get people to do it like they were like I can't do it I'm like you can look I'll do it. I'll do it easy like grab a grab a roach and I just Chalked on me. I did it to a couple different things. I ate a few different things. Any what's your take on the bugs? Some of them pretty good or they're good? Roaches are surprisingly tasteless. Yeah, when there was a big one, a Madagascar hissing cockroaches. A live or dead? A live. I just grabbed a bit. I did. They're surprisingly tasteless. You get over the fact that you're eating a bug and the squish in your mouth, but it doesn't taste like much. And the thing about bugs is people have been eating bugs forever. [2:15:00] Animals have been eating bugs forever. I mean, bugs, this is me looking. Oh, so cuteie back then. Just watch, I'm gonna choke this thing down. Ah, bro. Oh, the crunching. Yeah, it was very crunching. Oh, huh. Jesus. Let's laugh at it at the same time too. We're the crew people, like you don't have to do this? No, I was doing it, try to get this girl to do it. Did you do it? She wanted to be eating worms instead, which I thought was worse. We made a deal with her. Two worms, two worms are a roach. What was the thought when you did fear factor? I heard it was, you didn't love acting as much. Is that what it was? Well, the process of sitcoms is great when it's up and running. But it's brutal to begin. Like the early days of news radio. I love that show by the way. I love watching good. That was like 16 hour days. You work crazy long days and the writers are busing their ass and the actors or everyone's tired, the crew's tired. It's hard to put together those fucking shows. I thought sitcom [2:16:03] was a better schedule. Like, I heard these 16 hour days are with single cams and stuff. Once they get going, the thing is you have to figure out a way to make it a well-oiled machine. And that takes a long time. It takes the actors have to be in line. They have to figure out who's strengths are. The writers have to be in line. They have to get support from the network. It's a grind man. Did you guys eventually get we eventually got to the point Well, we didn't even have to work five days a week we only work four days a week and one of the days was just a table read So we'd come in there would be a table read and there'd be some revisions the writers would get together and they'd come up with New scripts and the writers are crazy they would they would write like really late at night like that was their thing to get silly to like be Exhausted. night. That was their thing to get silly to be exhausted. Yeah, just hilarious. Yeah. They just get completely delirious and the most ridiculous shit was really fun. They would come stumbling in, barely awake at nine in the morning and we're all there. They had just finished. Sometimes they didn't finish. Sometimes they had one half of the script and they were still tightening up to second half. So they'd give you the first [2:17:02] half of the script. You'd work on it until lunch, everybody lunch, and then they would come back with the second half of the script and you'd work the rest of it out. And in the beginning, it was exciting, it was fun and everything, but I was like, this is not my jam. You know, this is really fun to do. You're great fun to do. Thanks. It's fun. Acting's fun with fun people. But eventually I was like I just like doing stand up and I like doing other things and then this show Okay, fear factors like I was like this is gonna be canceled immediately like you're sick and dogs on people on television and making them Eat animal dicks like I'm in let's go you gonna make them ride bulls Okay, I'm like okay, so they came to you first you were first option They go do you want to host this show? Well, they didn't know who was going to host it. They met with a bunch of people. And it was NBC, right? It was NBC. So I had just been on NBC for News Radio and so I had a relationship with them. And so then when this came up, it was just like, they said, there was two thoughts. One, have someone hosted that was like a sports guy, you know, like fear [2:18:06] is not a factor for them, like down the middle or someone who was like laughing while this crazy shit was going on. So they chose me. So that's better. I think it worked out. Yeah. Well, you had to make fun of some of it because it was so crazy that you were doing this. And some of the things I was like, don't do it. I would tell people, don't do it like the bull riding like don't do it. They're not paying you enough for no one's paying you enough to ride a fucking bowl You kicked in the head by a bowl your life has changed forever. I'm like I'm not gonna Do you do what you don't have often cherish I wouldn't do it. I told them all my I wouldn't do it They were trying to tell me that it was stunt bulls like that bull does not know it's a stunt bull That bull thinks that the animal that doesn't want you on its back and you're getting like untrained people and you're putting a helmet on them Yeah, and a chest plate some day to entry guy hopping on a bowl Hoping their arm doesn't get shattered into a fucking million pieces if they're lucky That's a good TV Joe kicked in the face Yeah, terrifying Some of these issues like wipe out even I'm like I [2:19:07] Why would I risk this yeah, you think it was a who's really, yeah, they just love people getting fucked up. Yeah. Well, it's like, hey, this is the game we play. I guess. And then also you, we saw that guy jumping over the bowls. That's true. That's true. But he's willingly doing that. And he's in control. He's not being thrust into it. This is his life. But in their defense there are people that go on fear factor or they went on fear factor were like serious fucking athletes and they excelled at a lot of these things and you look oh well if you're like a real athlete you could do some of this shit and you could do it better than everybody else just like you could play football better than everybody else or wrestle better than everybody else. So it wasn't all eating shit? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no do a bunch of shit and come out, I forget what it was, but I was like, [2:20:06] that guy says, stud, because like that is hard. Like me as a person who's like, I've tried to hold my breath for a long period of time underwater, I've swam, I'm like, that's fucking hard to do. That water's cold as shit, which really stay relaxed and this dude swimming around in there for like three minutes Like that's an animal. Yeah, so there's like Yeah, you shouldn't ride a ball But some of those fucking things if people do It's like if you're a real athlete you can excel at a lot of these things Well, it's a grand prize for these things depend on the show I, some shows we gave away a million dollars, but that was only a couple of them. Most of the time they got like, I think it was 50 grand. But then after taxes, it's only like 34. The government is like, I ate those dicks. We ate those dicks. The government's like, where's my mom? Where's my mom? Where any dicks and they get sixteen grand yeah uncle sanded eat dicks yeah they zero dick and they get six and I give my dick my biggest guy all the dick you [2:21:08] get thirty four yeah fortunately you know praise the baby Jesus nobody got hurt oh that's good nobody got really hurt I mean people get like spring dangles I'm sure it was an ironclad contract with these people signed I'm sure it was nuts I'm sure it was nuts but I legitimately thought it was nuts. But I legitimately thought it was gonna be canceled immediately. And it lasted how long? Six fucking years, 148 episodes. And then we came back and did it six more. And then it got canceled the second time because people had to drink gizz. Because you guys can't release, you guys have released on TMZ. They got a whole of the video and the photo. Somebody leaked it. What kind of jizz? Donkey jizz, which is just useless jizz. How so? Was it Mule Jizz or Donkey jizz? I think it was, they had a choice. They had a choice. I think it's Mule Jizz. It's sterile jizz. You can't, like mules, you can't, they can impregnate anyone. I don't think they call it donkey jizz though. I think that's what it's. I think it might have been actually mule jizz. [2:22:06] Like that was the cheapest stuff. That's the budget. There's a budget when you're working on a show. Yeah, we can't get the thoroughbred jizz. Yeah, thoroughbred jizz is super expensive. It is. It's a gold. What is that? It's like $ people will pay $1 million for one drop of my sperm. That sounds like a lance bit. It does. It does. So this is... Donkey juice, so. They call it donkey juice, but I think that's because donkey's a funnier name than mule juice. That's a good point. And so, yeah, so they had to do it and there was twins. So one had a drink urine and one had a drink Gis and depending upon your score depending about how many ounces you had a drink Rough stuff ladies and gentlemen and I that's another show where I said don't do it and they're like NBC signed off on it I don't give a fuck. I'm like this is I first of all is outrageous [2:23:02] And I've seen a lot of stuff high as a kite Okay, I'd never do that show sober from episode like for on I would take pot edibles for every show I was like let's go. I made it fun. I'm sure it enhanced the oh my God. It made it so much more fun But that was one day where I was like you guys are freaking me out like don't do this. This is a terrible idea Did you know that this could be the end like doing this stunt? 100%. You're making people drink jizz. Yeah. I couldn't believe that I was the one. The voice of reason? Yeah. I was the one who stepped up and said, Hey guys. The guy on the edible. I can't make people drink jizz on television while people are eating dinner. The writers are like, we think it's good. We workshop Imagine trying to explain that to little kids all over the world. What's jazz? I think in other countries they did play it. That's why it's still available on YouTube I could still find that that band episode. I think in some countries I think they played it in Holland they put it in some European countries. Well, they're way more chill with [2:24:09] Mule Jizz out there. They're like hey, you know, yeah, it's like Newter Dean France. Like they're very cool with Mule Giz. Well, Fear Factor actually started out in Holland. What was it called? I think it was called Now or Neverland. Pre-Shoot was Holland. And then they bought it and then changed it to Fear Factor. I brought it to America. I guess every game show is just a remix of something overseas. You know, we do that a lot. But what it was for me, dude, was like my escape package. Your parachute? Yeah, like the my fuck you package. Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know? sense for just like not even stumbling but just like knowing what the next thing is. You know, like fear factor gave you a nice parachute away from sitcom and all that stuff you didn't like and then podcasting was a nice runway to get into that and then you were so early to UFC too, you know. But the UFC thing was that that was the craziest because I was into the UFC when it was in [2:25:01] 1997. I remember when you had to go through a beaded curtain to watch you see. Yeah, you have to go through a beaded curtain. Yeah, you have to go to the dirty side. Yeah, I remember it was... Yeah, you had to walk by a porno and shit to get to UFC tapes. I was at my friend Leo Marriama, I believe this is last night. This Japanese kid, he had a UFC tape for his birthday party and he popped that in. And this was like wild. This is like real. Yeah, you couldn't believe it was real. Yeah, these guys are beating the shit out of each other. This is crazy. So you couldn't just get it. It was hard to get. Yeah, I started working for them in 97 UFC 12 and Dothin, Alabama. And it was just crazy. It was like a half-filled high school auditorium looking place. What do you think the biggest jump was in TV? Getting on Spike TV. It's one of those things where people just needed to see it. They needed to see it to know how exciting it is. You know, there's certain things that people just don't know yet. And then they got it on Spike TV. [2:26:00] It was all Dana White and the Fatita Brothers't, they were like $40 million in debt before it really hit. What was their venture? Do they have a venture before UFC? What are the only thing they know? So they were wealthy, but they were fucking hemorrhaging money. I mean, hemorrhaging money doing that program. But I, you know, I was like, God damn it. Just the world needs a C. If the world could see, it's so entertaining. It transcends all cultural boundaries. What fighting is is something that's in human beings DNA. And when you see a really great fight between two highly skilled, at the peak of condition, just warriors, the best in the world. And we see them going a war inside of a cage with these little gloves on and shorts, no shoes on, just fucking tee and off on each other. It is wild to see. There's nothing like it in all sports. Nothing like it, man. A real high-level championship fight, [2:27:03] there's nothing like it, man. And real high-level championship fight, there's nothing like it, man. And I knew people just had to see it. And if they could see it, they could see what I see. Because this is universal. It's not like a game like cricket. You could be awesome at cricket. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I know you're trying to hit that thing with the paddle. It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't I'm not interested. They're fighting anyone. But fighting anyone knows what's going on. You know, everyone knows what's going on. You wheel kick somebody in the head, everybody saw that. That's crazy. What the fuck just happened? You get the guy in an arm arm break his arm. Like what? He just broke his arm. This is crazy. This is nuts. What is this? It's just universal. I knew it would be universal. Yeah, fighting is pretty universal. I'll watch these wrestling documentaries. They're so good. Every wrestling documentary is amazing. And I think that's part of the appeal of wrestling they talk about, because it's such a play. It's so simple fighting. Everyone knows this. And there's so many elements you can have on top of like going heel and it's dramatic. [2:28:01] It's inherently dramatic. It's almost the simplest form of entertainment fighting. Right. Well, in a lot of ways, yeah, it's also such a dangerous game, man. Such a dangerous game. You know, and it's hard for guys to know when to stop playing it. You know, it's hard for guys to know when to get out. Mm-hmm. And you see all the great ones, man. All the great ones fall. And it's just part of the game. Has anyone got out at the right time? George Hempier. Yeah. He did it the most intelligently. Better than anybody. He went out as a champion. He retired after defending his belt and then he came back and he fought Michael Bisping for the middleweight title and beat him and then retired again. So that's it. And he's got all his faculties. He talked to him. He's great. He's super happy. Still very healthy and fit. Still constantly trains martial arts. It comes to Austin all the time to train with Gordon Ryan and John Donahair. So he's here all the time. And he's just a martial artist. I mean, and a great spokesperson. He had a great example of what is possible, like that you can be one of the greatest of all time [2:29:08] without a doubt. George St. Pierre will go down in history. It's one of the greatest mixed martial artists of all time. For sure, he's definitely in the conversation of the goat. There's a few people that are in that conversation, but he's definitely in there. But that guy's totally fine today. He figured it out. Yeah, very smart one of the rare people One of the rarest of rare checked out. Yeah, he's he's smart He got out at the right time and he's got all his faculties and he's doing great and that's a beautiful example But for every one of George St. Pierre there's guys that leave and you can tell their slow You tell their compromise you can tell they've been they've been in some wars and that sucks too It sucks to see. It sucks. It sucks to see old guys that are just broken down, man. A lot of them physically broken down. They can't move well. I mean, they can't manage it. They're bags are all fucked up. Punched back surgeries, knee surgeries. It's just such a brutal, brutal way to make a living. But yeah, when I started getting into that man, [2:30:05] it was like doing porn. Like people like, what are you doing? The fuck are you doing? Why are you getting involved in this? You have a sitcom career. Yeah. I was on news radio while you were like, you'll see in a few years, you'll see. I don't think anybody believed it. Nobody believed it. But I was like, look, I can't help you. Well, it's a great lesson. It's a great lesson to just following what your passion is and then the rest can like falls into place. If you're lucky, you just wind up a car thief. You know, like, these can go bad. But you really love it. You really love stealing cars though. Yeah, some people do. Remember that movie with Charlie Sheen and some other dude, I forgot the other dude, they would just steal porches. That dude, DB Swini, is that who it is? Who's the other dude, was in it? The fun movie. Was it around the era of Gone in 60 Seconds or? Oh, before that, man. It's an old ass movie. It was this dude would just steal porches. It was like 1980s porches, which were really cool little cars, man. It's such a different thing than a Porsche of today. Those little like minimized [2:31:06] little sporty cars and he would steal these sporty cars and the whole movie is just like a love affair. I love this poster. Yeah, it's great. Who is the other dude? Is that ice man? Is it DB Sweeney? Yeah. Yeah, it is no man's land. It's just a Porsche Infomercial the whole movies about you if you get this movie and watch it You don't want to buy old Porsche just something to go to a doctor. Remember Italian. Remember Italian job Where it's just like a mini commercial see look at this? What what's here is that is that franket? They got the Toothpick come on That's it! Frank it! They got the... The toothpick? Come on. The toothpick is... Bro, those cars are the shit. I want a portion of toothpick right now. Those cars are very difficult to handle. They'll see if they saw a car, like let's get it. And they hop out and Charlie Sheen was a cop. He was undercover. [2:32:00] Right? Isn't that the plot? Pretty sure. This guy's got a cabrio leg. A new car phone. A car phone. I think that's an alarm. I think it's one of them alarm jobs. Yeah. See? Because it's flashing. It's like, oh, there's an alarm on this car. So it's going to be harder? Yeah. So you had to look around. Do you know what you're doing man? Yeah bro, I'm gonna steal his Porsche. Oh shit, is he gonna use, okay. By the way, if you have a convertible, can you just cut the top? Oh, here comes the knife. So this is how you do it? Is he gonna cut the top? He is gonna cut the top, this slide bastard. Look how slick he is. Ooh, nice one. He's looking for the spot. This is very sensual. Yes very. This is where you shouldn't have a convertible. Yeah, I probably will steal it. Get a cloth house. So Charlie Sheen's gonna cut that. Right. Was he gonna do a pop it? Okay, that's simple huh? Yeah, he's gonna pop the convertible. Hey, what are you doing? That's my Porsche! Oh shit! [2:33:06] God just shoots at him. All right, now we're getting into, yeah. Yeah, so here we go, they're just shooting at him. Jesus. Really bailed on that red one. Yeah, and I kinda chased him. I'm gonna trans-ham. A lot of great cars in this movie. Spoilers. Tata-town. It's a dumbass movie. But every guy loved it, I'm sure. Oh, yeah, the porches are awesome. It's awesome to watch them speed away and it's a little porch. Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. I'm gonna I've never heard of a sci-fi movie called The Race. What is that? It's like Nightrider? This is movie 1986. Man, I love old trailers. Give him another chance. Are you new in town? Yeah. Who's the kid? I found my back in the next second he was there. [2:34:02] Like magic almost. Oh, he's mad. Dude, that's sweet. What is that? It's a cyber truck Oh my god he's in it He's kind of going off the rails right is is he yeah, he went a little off the rails boy this movie looks dumb as shit You know he was in a one good movie that people Sleep on it was a science fiction movie no no Charlie Sheade? No. No, Charlie Sheen. The arrival? No. Oh, I love that movie. Well, is that, it was called? Isn't the arrival the one? There's two of them, I think. There's the arrival. I love the one with the, there's the new one with the, where the, the special is like a coffee bean. It's the arrival, yeah, but this is the this is the char machine one. This is really good. This one is like underrated. I agree [2:35:07] Very underrated sci-fi movie. The aliens are weird like the leg thing. Yeah, such a great reveal It's cool. It's a cool movie. It's like it doesn't get the credit it deserves. It's actually a cool movie But then there's the other arrival which is really cool. I like that one too That one's amazing. Yeah, because that one to me feels more like what it probably would be How do we communicate with these beings? Right, right, right that guy who did Sikario He did he did doing doon too. He did the first one That or that's just Arrival and the other one is the arrival Arrivals a fucking great movie. That's a great movie. Yeah. What's the best alien movie of all time? fucking great movie. That's a great movie. Yeah, what's the best alien movie of all time? It has to be alien. I mean, it's right there. That has to be number one. That's the best alien movie. What's in contention, you think? Nothing. Alien and that's it. It's alien and that is everybody else playing for second best. What about Independence Day? That's kind of like, ah, it's hilarious. That's not like I'm pretty goddamn good too close encounters is pretty fucking amazing [2:36:06] That might be the best UFO alien movie but the best like in space alien movie is alien Try be serious. I'm in a black is a good movie. That's a good point Fun to find moving it's a fun movie, but as far as movies we'd say you have to see this movie like the original alien Ridley Scott that movie is fucking incredible that movie so good and that was a movie where Sigourney Weaver was the lead badass movie which was a rare thing was that the first of that archetype that I believe so I believe so if I had to think like of successful mainstream movie Super Heroin, who- In addition to the bias natures is- Can I pee real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll pee. We're right back. Everybody, you know? And we're back. And we're back. What were we just talking about? Sigourney Weaver in Aliens. So she had to be the first Super Heroin, the first lead action movie badass woman. [2:37:04] Who is before her. I don't know who would be before her Jackie Brown No, that was after I was Brown Let's care to you know Because alien was 79 But yeah, there'd be no Michelle Rodriguez without Sigourney Weaver the tank top She was in aliens too. She was in aliens too with Sigourney Weaver, the tank top. She was in Airlines too. She was in Aliens too with Sigourney Weaver. How many aliens are there? Four, five or six, well, there's a bunch now because the alien, the covenant, that's a really good one. What was the last one? There was Prometheus, then the covenant. Covenant was the last one, right? Is that correct? You see the new predator? Yes. Is Yes, is it good? We're talking about the one with the Native American lady. It's on I think it's on a little thing. That's dope. Okay, okay. That's fun. Check it out. That's fun. It's ridiculous, but it's fun. It's good. Is it as good as the Charlie Sheen Porsche Heist movie? Almost. Almost. It's okay. It's close. It's close. female John Wick with aliens. I'm sold. I'm sold. [2:38:06] They even went, like, when they gave up, they'd went predator versus alien, remember that? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Vs. I feel like there was a Taco Bell tie in. I'm sure. Yeah, why not? Why wouldn't it be? Get a plastic brown. You weren't really wrong because Pam Greer's Jackie Brown, right? Oh, there was one before. She was a movie in the 70s. That's why she was Jackie Brown, I think. Right, what movies was she in the 70s though? Foxy Brown. Foxy Brown. The thing about it is though, I don't think they were big action movies. Like when you got a budget, like a Sigourney Weaver, is the lead of a Ripley Scott film. And it's a giant budget. It's a crazy movie. That was a huge hit. That movie was a huge hit. He did gladiator, too? Yes. They're doing gladiator, too. Ripley Scott has done, he did one of the aliens. This one was only 11 million budget. That's it? Damn. [2:39:00] So it was, but it had big actors right like that one dude Tom Sherrick whatever the fuck is name in retrospect maybe I don't think I was big at the time. I was like this is five years for us. What's his name? Tom what? Skirt Tom Skirt. Yeah he played the captain that's it's a crazy ass fucking movie man. That's a good movie because that's probably what it's gonna be like. It's probably gonna be like parasites just like parasites on earth. I mean, there's a lot of different instances in the wild of creatures doing that. Like there's that wasp that injects tarantulas with its babies. It kills spiders and injects them with its babies. And the babies like feed off the carcass of the spider. That's crazy. They're so evil. Isn't there one where there's like this parasite that grows out of an ants head? Oh yeah. Yeah. It's cordy-sips mushrooms. That's what's that movie the last of us. Oh, I do. That's so good. I love that show. It shows great. It shows great. Someone, maybe it was a Reddit thread, they were saying, cause they tried to port over video game movies for so long and they could never get it right. [2:40:07] And I think the person in this thread was saying, like the kids are finally old enough in becoming directors where they can do the source material justice. Whereas before is just these people, who are trying to make a mortal combat film but they didn't grow up with, they don't have a love letter to it, you know? Yes, Yes. And now we're getting to see great video game IP flourish. Like the last of us is phenomenal. Yeah. But it also has to be something like HBO, or someone's willing to let someone, you know, get really wild. Yeah. You know, like that would be hard, that was HBO, right? Yeah. It'd be hard to do anywhere else. Like HBO game of Thrones, Sopranos, they'll go out there with a show. You know? Yeah, when I was coming up, I mean, just the video game movies that existed, there was Street Fighter with Van Dam. There was Mortal Kombat. So as a kid, you loved watching these movies, but they weren't good. Dragons Lair, wasn't there a Dragons Lair movie? I don't know if there, is that a game? I don't remember. Dragon's Lair was a game that everybody used to play. [2:41:05] Oh, yeah, Mario Brothers. Mario Brothers, Dragon's Lair was a game that everybody used to play in the 1980s. It was like a cartoon of each thing that you did. You get to see whether or not you were successful. You would do this little move. If you slipped and fell or if the night got you or a dragon got you, you would die. But you get to see how you would die. So instead of it being like an interactive cartoon, it was like semi-interactive. Like you've made the right choices, it would do the right thing. And the character would do the right thing. And then you would be hitting your joystick, getting it to go through these doors. And then every time you did it, like this little video would play out. It was very addictive. And it was the first time there was ever anything like this, where there was like a game that you could watch like a cartoon movie. And depending upon whether you did the right thing or the wrong thing, you would see this happen or you see you get killed. Well, that's 1983. [2:42:01] Full playthrough. So this is all the things that you would have to do to to be successful and every time you do it you'd this little video. Is it kind of Prince of Persia? Yeah. But it's like you know dragons and knights and shit. It was fun. But you know compare that to world of warcraft or compare that to you know what's the big one that Diablo the new Diablo or compare that to call a know, what's the big one that Diablo, the new Diablo, or compare that to Call of Duty, that's the big one. That's just crack. That's just straight heroin. Did you ever see this game? This was an arcade game that was like Dragon's Lair. This was the only thing that was really cool about this is this was holograms. So this was like floating above your controllers. You controlled it a lot like Dragon's Lair. That's how it worked. It was like these weird little videos that would play. Like an old west character. But it was all holograms. Like this doesn't do any justice to why how cool it was. Oh, so in real life when you're watching it on the video screen, it's a I remember it. Because that's how I remember what I got back in the air. That guy just busted that blank a little too close [2:43:06] that dude's body from my liking. Oh, you didn't, you know, they didn't edit that out. It's not like they had one guy and they spliced in the second guy. How much did he think I was right in front? He got paid. He they paid me like five grand. Nice. Which buy with it? Just like more Fortnite stuff. No, I'm just gonna, not, I have no idea what I spent with it. But it's kind of cool, because I post the dance video sometimes and I guess their programmers found one of my YouTube. Like it had no views. Maybe they're comedy fans, that's how they found out. But like they just hit me up and they go, hey, the game's gonna use this excerpt if you dancing is like a skin or an emote. We'll give you five grand. And I was like, fuck yeah. It's still one of my favorite credits in Hollywood because it's just so weird and bizarre. The year in Fortnite. I have a Fortnite dance. It's called Fortnite? No, but I know it's really popular. So it's called the vibe in emote. So if you look at the vibe and email, that's me dancing. Oh shit, let me see that. Yeah. So they just took an excerpt from me when I was dancing in my apartment in [2:44:08] Koreatown. Because sometimes if I really like a song, I'll just set the camera up and dance to it. Yeah, that's me. There's somebody low-kids. That's right, another shit. Oh, this dance. It looks very different than you bro. That's true. They could have just done that. They didn't have to pay you No, you needed me to you needed me is this they could have just paid you no I just want to put this out there for it and I have more dances if you need more moves Yeah, I don't think they needed to pay you No, they think they could have just got in if there were like less group Probably but I think they were less group, probably. But I think they were under hot water because it was a moment in time where people were kind of upset that they were lifting some of the dances. Remember that backpack kid, the floss dance? The little kid? Yeah, remember his name is backpack kid, I guess, as a meme. You talking about the kid on the boat? No, you know this is so dumb. You're seeing the little kid on the boat? [2:45:00] No, but remember this dance. Yeah. Yeah. Some kid in the backpack invented it. Really? And then they fortnite used the dance and then there was some sort of, hey, people should be getting paid, the Carlton they put in there. And there was this gray area of like, should we pay these people? So this kid is saying that that was his move and they stole it? Well, they probably patched it up and played nice and everything but he's the inventor of that dance really invented it himself Yeah, there's no dispute. I don't know if anybody else claimed it or tried to say that that was them. What's that called flossing? Yeah It's a strange move to so I don't know how he wouldn't have it's pretty cool Yeah, I like watching people do silly dances. Some dude did this Michael Jackson thing the other day. Like he high-five this dude and then immediately started moonwalking. And it was really good. Yeah. It was like very impressive. It's so interesting seeing social media get to a place where there are like viable careers [2:46:00] in these spaces that didn't exist before. Like Charlie, Demelio or whatever. Like you could just be a cute girl dancing on TikTok, and that's used to have to be able to sing, and they would send you to acting school if you were just like a pretty person. Like they had to give you these other skill sets, and now you can just like dance to certain songs. What do you think that's like psychologically? Because at least if you're a person who sings songs like people really love my songs She probably sings now, you know like but it was a springboard like she got famous for her dancing does she sing probably I don't know Well imagine someone who doesn't sing right just imagine being famous just for being alive That's a that's an that's available to you now. That's anything. It's a new thing. That's a new thing. Yeah It's also interesting because like when I got in the comedy, and fame was a byproduct. But I think with younger people, sometimes they just want to be famous, and then they don't really care or know what for. I remember we were shooting a thing. We were shooting the Sonic commercial years ago, and kids saw a camera. So many of them would say, make me famous. It wasn't, I want to do a thing that I love [2:47:03] and then become famous. It's wanted to be famous. Fame is a byproduct. Not, I don't know if it should be the goal. Yeah. I don't know if that's the healthiest. No, it's not a good goal. Because you'll never, so it's never gonna be happy. Yeah, yeah. Should be happy if you're doing what you like to do. The idea of just being happy just by fame, that's a trick. And that's going to come with a lot of problems of its own and you don't want them. You're better off just concentrating on what you love to do and just try to get good at it. Yeah. Yeah. And trying to just get famous, you're going to do some stuff that you wish you hadn't done. You're going to say some things you wish hadn't said. you're gonna try to get a lot of attention. It's gonna come with a lot of extra baggage. Yeah, and the fame isn't exactly the fun. There are some parts of it that are fun, but then it also impedes your life. Well, it depends on if that's all you do, right? Like there's people out there that are, you know, air quotes influencers. All they do is like either, you know, the Kardashians or you're whoever you are you're doing something and you're making videos and you're that's your whole thing is you [2:48:08] Getting out there. It's not like exceptional content. It's not like they're doing crazy backflips and you know climbing mountains They're not doing anything crazy. Yeah, they're just being alive right being alive with a lot of money And big I'm being beautiful that helps that helps But it's also being around famous people. And, you know, oh my god, it's the glamorous life. And then people are sucked in. And if you edit it correctly, we do a nice fast, keep my attention span moving. You can suck me in for years. Yeah, you forget editing is such a strong necessity nowadays, too. It's huge. Yeah, it's almost more important than a performer. I mean, it's hyperbole, but a great editor can really elevate some content. Yes. Like, Schultz's guy's amazing. I mean, what Schultz's fantastic to begin with. But editing when you're trying to grab people's attention in 20, 30 seconds with all the zooms and all these psychological tricks too, like shaking it, having the text come in. So now even to promote as a younger comic people coming up you have to be aware of you might have a great bit [2:49:06] But you have to have it be a little cutier than it would be live Right you have to use a certain type of Captions you have to maybe zoom in so you have to give yourself I don't know the benefit of the doubt or set yourself up for success via editing. Yeah Yeah, and there's so many different ways to do it now too. You know, it's like, so many people found different avenues to make viral things. Like, remember during the pandemic, when Shultz had to turn your phone on. Oh yeah. Brilliant. Yeah. He had a totally different style of comedy than he does. Because he, you know, on stage, he'll let things cook. He'll have long pauses, give you the time to think about some ridiculous shit that he just said. And he'll be like, yeah, that's the fun of the live show. Right, but in the, the, these Instagram videos, sideways videos, he was very fast paced. It was very fast paced. Yeah. And it's punchline after punchline after punchline. [2:50:01] He does the Netflix thing, short saves America, punchline, punchline, punchline. It's very fast, it's really interesting because he adapted, found some new pathway. That's a real sign of intelligence, right? If you could find a new way to do it. And don't do Zoom stand-ups on. I mean, of course, he has no shit. But find a way, there's another pathway. There's gotta be something else. A lot of people did. They found ways to do funny clips. And you learn just by seeing what is being propagated, how people's behaviors, even when I edit my standup, I take the air out. If I get a laugh, I'll cut the laugh short just to get to the next part. You're just competing against people's thumbs swiping up. Sometimes, because if you, you can make your joke a little tighter via editing. You know what I mean? Because if you're an unknown and you're just competing about people, you're competing with people swiping their thumb and watching something else. Yeah. I think you can't really worry about that. Yeah. Well, it's all trial and error too. People still love stand up, dude. [2:51:03] They're still going to love it. And if it's below trial and error too. It's people still love stand up, dude. They're still gonna love it. And if it's below jazz, in the, it's so be it. It's so be it. I love it. It's fine. It doesn't need any more attention than it gets. It's fine. The people that love it love it. The people that don't, that's fine too. It's all fine. Don't worry Who swipes and who does this white worry about doing what you enjoy do that thing and make it so that something like I like it This is good. Well, that's where I'm at now a standard very happy Especially after doing that last special I'm at a place where I'm comfortable I call this special this new one house money Because things are great you know my parents and financially and So I'm the pressure of your parents. financially and clear lines. It's so funny. The pressure of your parents. It's like just overwhelming blanket. It's a cliche, you know, the whole immigrant be a doctor or whatever. Yeah, they want you to be successful. They want to be successful. It's hard to get over here. Yeah, but I love them and I know what it was rooted in. It was just rooted in their offspring wanting. Of course. little smothering, but you made it out. Yeah, I think it allowed me to be where I'm at now. [2:52:06] So it was rocket fuel and. Yeah, there's something to be said for that. There's something to be said for some uncomfortable shit that makes you work harder. You know, because the worst situation is you're too comfortable and you don't work hard enough. And then you don't have a career because you've just been lazy. You could have had a career. We've know a lot of guys like that, we know a lot of guys that just for whatever reason, they didn't fucking put it together. They didn't work as hard as everybody else did. They just didn't try as hard. For whatever reason, they just fucking cashed out. You know? It sucks. It's a real bummer. Because you learned at an early age of the value of hard work in discipline. And I think a lot of people just don't know the value of that and they just rather just indulge. Because indulging is fun. We all love to do it and stand up comics are, you know, most of us are pretty indulgent and silly. So you've got to find a way to harness that like you're the boss of you. You got to figure out a way to say like, hey, I'm the boss of me. I will sit my ass down and I'll fucking work on the ship. [2:53:07] There's a level of entrepreneurship that I think is great about standup too. And I think that's why I work so hard is because I knew what my life would be like if I just stayed up bowing. It was a means to an end. It's not like I did engineering just so I can get a legit job and be able to move out to LA and drive up to Hollywood. So it was always a means to an end. But I would always when I'm in that cubicle, I knew what my life would be like if I just stayed up going. Whereas I didn't know what it would be like. I knew what I wanted it to be and that drove me. Whereas okay I know this movie, I don't know this movie and I love this. Right. So that was the fire for me. Right. Just not wanting to live for tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. And when you pursue something and when you pursue something like that, it's exciting. It's fulfilling. It's very exciting, but it's also very daunting, right? Especially in the beginning, you got to remember the early days where I wasn't sure whether it was going [2:54:01] to make it, it was just when they were, when I was gonna be able to make a living. It was, it's so weird. It's such a weird feeling, you know. You're so, everything's like open-ended. You never know. You know, you don't know the one, the next set you have where you bomb. Oh my God, am I gonna have to quit? Do I suck forever? Am I gonna figure this out? the best moments when I was young, when I was starting out after bombs. After bombs I always came in the shower. You learn the numbers. You got so much sharper. It sucks, but you either get better or you quit. You get better or you quit. I always think about that whenever people get in a standup, if they bomb and they don't love standup, they're out pretty fast. Cause that's not a fun feeling. Unless you have a screw loose and you love it and I'm that way. Whereas I was more emboldened after a bomb. I'm like, okay, why didn't it work? How do I tweak this? Right. I took it as as the audience being editor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was fuel. Mm-hmm. It's unseniable. Neither laugh or they don't. And you know, people used to say like, I think Bill Cosby says there's no bad crowds, there's bad comedians when he was out of his fucking mind clearly. And I used to say by the way, he never had to work the places that I had to work. [2:55:07] I had to work bars in the middle of Massachusetts and Rhode Island and fucking Connecticut. Like shut your mouth, there's bad, bad audiences. But through those bad audiences, you learn crowd control mitigation shit. You learn how to work the crowd. You learn how to capture people's attention. learn how to like capture people's attention, so you don't let them drift off. You don't like, you can't, they're not all good crowds. You learn how to corral energy, also if someone is being disruptive, do they have a good heart? Do they mean well? There's a little too tipsy and kind of harness that back into your set and be playful because some comics don't realize and they just go nuclear on the person. And then it's like beating up a toddler because then you've lost the goodwill of the crowd. Everyone's like, yeah, you just fuck this chick up. For no reason. And then you try to do a joke and they go, no, you're a monster dude. Yeah, it's basically like having road rage. You're so amped up because you're already in a car. [2:56:06] You're driving fast. When you're on stage your brain is amped up. When someone chimes in you like what? Shut up you stupid bitch. Even though he's a technically. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. What have you done? There's a nicer way to say keep it down. Yeah. And you may crowd by saying you see a bit. But then some people that you just have to address, like you know, to get rid of them, they're gonna ruin your show, no matter what you do. And they do it on purpose. Sometimes they're so malicious and mean that you have car blanche to fucking lay into this game. And it's kind of fun, because sometimes these people are so singular minded and they think the world revolves around them. When the crowd starts booing the person and you see that switch in their eyes like oh they've been perceiving the whole situation wrong right like a why is this entire room booing you if you're the good guy right you know what I mean everyone's like get the fuck shut fuck you they got babysitters and shit you know they hate this guy yeah so I kind of like teaching a lesson sometimes when that happens I'm like I do a million sets this is fun for me to teach a grown man a lesson. I think you hear all these booze? [2:57:07] Why are they hissing at you, dude? Yeah. It's fun to educate sometimes. Well, some people just, they're drunk and they don't even realize what the consequences of what they're doing are. There's just being so selfish. They don't care about the other 300 people in the room. They just want to just yell out. But most of the time they just they mean well, but they've had a few drinks and you can and you can rain them in. Booze is the best and the worst thing for comedy. Yeah. For real. Ideally you want everyone who's great on it. Yeah. You want it people can handle their liquor, but every now and then you'll get that's not true. How is it a mother ship? Cause you run a tight ship no pun intended? Cuz you have put the phone in the bag. Yeah, we have to kick people out that are disrupting the show Is that happen is happens? Yeah, it's happened. It happens. It's gonna happen no matter if you have live comedy You're gonna have people that are just hammered. We had a lady go into a K hole [2:58:07] She's on ketamine she went into a K hole in the middle of crowd. How is the K hole audience member? What's that like? Zuh. Uh huh. They didn't know if she took it opiates or what she took. Were you like, this joke's really good. She's fucking organizing. I wasn't there. And it was the night that I was off, I think. Or I wasn't on the show. I don't remember what it was. But either way, the lady went into a K-hole. And they had They thought she'd you know overdose, but no she's just fucking gone because a lot of people take this nasal spray of ketamine and they take it like as Quasi-dimensional traveling in the middle of a comedy show. I don't understand when people go that hard and then pay tickets to an expensive show Like some people will go to a concert and just be fucked up beyond believe. Yeah, yeah, that's our experience. You're not even mentally here to enjoy Beyonc\u00e9 or whatever it is. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it's the experience sometimes people say, I'm going to take an edible and go see a show. You're like, how do you finesse that, though? Like that lady on K, [2:59:01] I don't know if she was really processing the jokes. Right. Oh, she definitely wasn't. She was gone. I mean, she collapsed. She was gone. Uh-huh. Yeah. I've never done Kettamine like that. I don't know what happens, but the way they do it, if you do a lot of it, you go into what they call a K-hole. Whatever that means. But I know that people have hallucinations and they have these weird experiences where they're interacting with interdimensional beings. They're in empty apartment buildings and space and shit, well weird stuff, weird stuff. Yeah. It seems like you don't need a show for that. It seems like a heavy drug. It seems like one that you can still won't be out in the town on that stuff. But I guess people microdose it. I guess that's the thing. Not this girl. The anti-depression effects from microdosing. They used to have a ketamine drip thing that Neil did. Oh yeah. No Brennan did it. He thought that he would go to a doctor's office and it would be like, my old, he's like, no, I'm tripping balls at the doctor's office on an IV drip academy just having [3:00:11] Interacting with space beings shit. Yeah, I remember when he was going through a phase of like trying different things for Pression he was doing it. He showed me a video of the magnet thing Mm-hmm, and then K. I guess and then I Alaska. Yeah, you tell me about it He was doing a lot. I didn't know that you could do I was good that frequently Um, you probably not supposed to. He's a pioneer. He's a wild dude, but it did help him. It definitely did help. Yeah, I've noticed. That was a difference. Yeah, he talked about it. Yeah, forget what percentage. He believes in dog now and stuff. Just like, yeah. It might be real. It might be something to it. I'm so scared of Iawaska. He actually asked me because I like control. Right, you had a bad mushroom trip Yeah, well yeah, exactly and you can't control when you're on drugs, you know not when those not mushrooms That's for damn short. If you try it'll take you down a very bad road. Yes, you gotta learn how to let go I know our shuffier was because Ari was living in LA at the time Paul short of I was go [3:01:06] Uh, you just did it he talked about it. Let's go. I mean, I don't know He's like I everyone said like what you did if he starts wearing wooden beads I'm a strangle Since you do too much I was he's dark. We're wearing wooden beads. I'm always like bro No, you're taping good you okay, bro. Do you have an eagle feather in your hair because I'll kill you You okay bro? Do you have an eagle feather in your hair because I'll kill you Have you done I was good no so then what's your why haven't you? I haven't had the opportunity I haven't had people that I want to do it with I haven't had it it's Illegal in America so it is you do it illegally here you go somewhere else Yeah, it shouldn't be but also maybe you should know who the fuck is making it and how they're doing it and I've done DMT though, which is the What that's the act of ingredient. I saw a guy take a hit from a DMT pen at a party And it was like unsettling to watch him because you just see him blast off in a chair [3:02:05] I like this is a two personal someone like singing a geigeric off or something very weird to do that for everybody And it was unsettling to watch him, because you just see him blast off in a chair. I'm like, this is too personal. Someone like singing a geigeric off or something. It's very weird to do that for everybody. He just blasts off for like five minutes. And you just look like, okay. Jesus. Kind of weird. Yeah, it's a potent drug. Like it's a hit off of a vape pen. I think it's a portal into another dimension, are really do. I know that sounds completely insane, especially from the host of fear factor. But I think it's in your mind. I mean, they know that your brain produces those chemicals. Why would your brain produce chemicals that let you interact with beings in other dimensions that are giving you wisdom? Why? Why would that be something your brain makes? I don't know. What the speculation is that your brain makes it, when it thinks it's going to die, and that when you interact with that dimension, that's your spirit, that's your soul, that's what the essence of you, not your physical being and your life experiences and your memories that the essence of you goes to this place. And that's the only way to access it? [3:03:01] Or maybe. Some people say you can access it through Kundalini Yoga. I've never done it that way, but I have done what they call haulotropic breathing. I've had psychedelic experiences just from breathing. You can get to an acid state, just breathing. It's really wild. But the physical process of dying. Like when people have near death experiences, it sounds a lot like a psychedelic trip. Like a lot of these people that go to the light and then come back, like they die for like 30 seconds and then they come back and they have this crazy experience of interacting with beings and interacting with angels and interacting with devils and Weird shit man and a lot of them have these weird stories and They've tried to like map out what the fuck is happening with the human mind while that's going on But it's just a lot of speculation in terms of like [3:04:01] They didn't even know like what part of the brain is producing this chemical. They knew it's produced by the liver and I think it's produced by the lungs, but they think it's produced by the whole brain now. Isn't that what Strossman said the last time it was here? But your brain makes the most potent psychedelic drug known to man. That's one of the reasons why that stuff is such a short, like the time that you're, if you take DMT, your body brings it back to baseline very quickly. Like how long? You're blasted for 10, 15 minutes and then you're back and you're stone colds over. And you were just in another dimension. That's crazy. It's but- And you're back to the party. And nothing happens. Here's what's even more crazy. You have a really hard time remembering it. You had one of the most insane experiences you could ever possibly imagine. You remember a little snippets of it, just like a dream. Yeah, I'm like that. I'm bad at remembering dreams. Yeah, you're gonna get something. Everybody is. Yeah. Everybody is. And that is like a function of that same thing that when you take the actual chemical, when you take the actual DMT molecules, the same thing that happens. [3:05:06] You have a very difficult time holding on to those memories because memories are weird anyway. We all have false memories, well distorted memories, you have an approximation of things. I'm jealous. Some people have iron trap memories. I'll talk to a buddy and he'll bring up an event from six years ago and like, I don't work that way. I'm so jealous. Some people just have super memories like that. They definitely do with some things. You know, I always wonder, do they have less experiences in their life? So is that more memorable because they don't have anything that stands out from the norm? I think it's just the way their brain processes information and events, like it has a better filing system or something. Well, some people definitely have photographic memories. Like they can remember everything absolutely perfectly. You know that lady from Taxi? That's so taxy, yeah. I was just thinking about that 60 minutes piece that she was on there talking about. Like she's one of these people with super memory. Super memory. Yeah. Like very different than normal good memory. [3:06:02] Even people who can remember lines very easily, I'm so jealous of. Oh yeah. You know, because what a leg up you have over the competition, if you could just read a thing, be like, God it. And you could do it. I know, that's crazy. That's probably her Mary Lou Henner. Yeah, highly superior autobiographical memory, a rare condition identified in only 100 people worldwide. His trait drives her to advocate for more funding for brain research. That's insane. That's incredible It's a super-sue weekend. When you hear her like recite things that she can remember. It's bananas. Yeah, it's bananas But that would be an amazing advantage to be an actor for sure you read the script once and like I got it I know exactly what you're gonna say and then I know exactly what I'm gonna say. How are you one news radio with lines? It was okay. Yeah are you on this radio with lines? I was okay. You know, that was okay. It's a complicated little thing to remember. Everyone's process is different to how to retain that, just going over. For me, it was always just repetition. You have to do a lot of repetition over and over and over again. Say it out loud, write it down. So you get on your feet, so like pace and see the words. So it's in your body. I heard Riz Ahmed, you know him as an actor. [3:07:05] No. He's great. He's been sound of music or sound of metal. The two very different movies probably. He was in the sound of music or the sound of metal. One of those. I'm pretty sure he's sound of metal. But he's a super talented actor and I heard he runs while he does his lines and just he gets himself out of his. Was he? I feel like everyone was in Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer's a damn good movie. How crazy is it? They went after him for communism. I think it's something else. What was that? How crazy is it? They went after him for communism. Oh, that's what they got him on. Well, that's what they're going after him for. That was Yeah, but I mean the guy who invented the fucking bomb Lane Malone yeah What if the movie ended after they dropped the bomb and everyone cheers and then you see the credits Yeah, but it's funny cuz you know yeah, but you saw they had to do that back end where he felt bad and shit Oh, he's like what what have I done one of my favorite all-time videos. Let's leave it on this is [3:08:01] The Oppenheimer video of him describing what he said when the first bomb went off when he quoted the Bhagavad Gita. Let's watch. We'll leave with this. Fahim, your loved man. I appreciate you. Love you, death. Thank you so much. You're a new comedy special. Yeah, it's called House Money. It's on my YouTube channel. So if you go to youtube.com slash for he man or and for free it's for free and for he man war on Instagram and all the other social media platforms and always the comedy store. Yeah. Oppenheimer. Shit. I knew the world would not be the same. Few people laughed, few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita, Vishnu, is trying to persuade the prince that he should do his duty and to impress him [3:09:15] takes on his multi-armed form and says, now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. I suppose we all fought that one way or another. That's a quote. That's a bar. That's a bar. Somebody put some hip hop beat underneath it. Yeah, I probably is already in a song. That should be in a wood time.