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Tom Green is a comedian, actor, musician, filmmaker, and podcaster. Catch him on "The Tom Green Podcast" or live on tour in 2024. www.tomgreen.com
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Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Hello, eccentric character known as Tom Green.
Joe, how are you?
You're the wild man living in a van now.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
You are that eccentric character.
You go from being a television and movie star to being a wild man traveling the
land with
your vagabond dog that you got from another country.
Yeah, yeah.
She's a rescue from the Bahamas?
Yeah, Charlie.
Yeah, she's a rescue from the Bahamas.
She's goddamn adorable, by the way.
I love her.
She's beautiful.
I'll show you.
You are this eccentric character now.
Look at you.
I guess so.
I feel like maybe, I feel like in some ways what I'm doing right now is the
most normal
thing I've done in my life, but it is actually kind of crazy too.
It's crazy compared to people, but I think it fits you like a glove.
I really do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I like going out into the wilderness.
I always have.
Yeah.
And I've been out in this van that I just got, which is amazing, and I'm going
pretty
hard with it.
Is this the first time you've been tested since you got tested the last time on
my show?
I got tested one time between, but that's another interesting story.
Let's hear it.
What happened?
Well, my ex-wife asked me to come on her talk show, and I hadn't talked to her
in 15
years.
Oh.
Drew?
Drew, yeah.
Oh.
And so I thought, was that a trap?
It was nice.
It was nice.
Did you get nervous?
It was nice.
It was nice.
We had a good time.
That's cool.
And, but I had to get tested to do the show.
Oh.
And, but it was interesting because, you know, I mean, it was very sort of
interesting thing
because, you know, we hadn't talked in 15 years.
At all?
At all.
And, and then, you know, all of a sudden, you know, got a call from her saying,
hey, welcome
to the new show.
And her show's, her new show's really pretty wacky.
You know, like, it's, she's, she's, she's getting really kind of.
I like how you put your hands out for wacky.
Oh, yeah.
Wacky.
Like, she's definitely pushing it in a very sort of, I mean, I'm enjoying the
show.
It's very funny what she's doing.
Very, very, very over the top.
Some of the things she does on there.
That's representative of her as, of her as well?
It reminds me a lot of, of, of her.
Well, I mean, it is her.
Yeah, for sure.
What she really is.
Like, who she really is.
I think so, yeah.
As you get older, like, you tend to be able to figure out who you really are
better.
Like, like with you, like doing this van thing.
Now, I'm the guy living down by the river in the van.
It makes sense to me.
When you told me you were going to do that, I'm going to travel across the
country and just
drive around the van with my dog.
I was like, I could see you enjoying that.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You know, it's, it's, it's a whole world, man.
It's a whole world that you, that I didn't really even know about.
Like, I didn't know, in, in Canada, it's called Crown Land.
Here, it's called BLM Land, Bureau of Land, Managed Land.
I'm sure you know all about that from hunting and going out into the wilderness.
I didn't really know about Bureau of Land Management Land.
And there's certain apps that will show you all the fire roads, all the remote
places
that you can go and do dispersed camping, go boondocking, they're called.
Does your van have off-road capabilities?
Can you drive on rugged trails?
Yeah, pretty good.
I got, like, it's not, it's not an off-road vehicle.
It's a, it's a, it's a Ram ProMaster 2500.
It's, you know, a delivery truck that they convert into.
A lot of people are doing that these days.
Yeah.
My friend Tim Poole did that.
He got a, I believe he got a Ram as well.
Yeah.
This was a Ram, wasn't it, Jamie?
I think it's a Ram as well.
And he did the same thing.
He turned it into a bug out van.
So the Ram is wider than the, than the Mercedes Sprinter van, which you see a
lot of.
It's wider.
So I can actually sleep full width wise.
The bed's width wise at the back.
But, but, you know, it was just kind of happened pretty randomly.
I saw this clip online of these guys in Arizona who convert the vans.
I called them up.
They, they were on Shark Tank.
They're, these guys, they're called Boho.
This van's called Boho.
They're really cool dudes.
Boho?
Yeah, Boho.
Like B-O-H-O?
Yeah.
And by the way, they are like, they love this, that I'm here right now.
They're your biggest fan.
They like literally have watched every episode of your show.
And so they're going to take a shit right now.
They're probably really happy that I'm mentioning them on the show.
But they, they were on Shark Tank.
They just, these two young guys.
They started this company where they bought Ram Pro Masters.
Totally independent thing.
And they do this great carpentry.
Like they build, build out the inside.
It's all cedar.
Do you have images of your, your van online?
Yeah.
That's the inside of the van there.
And see, I got my studio.
Oh, I like the wood.
That's nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And see, like I got my speakers set up.
And the thing that's, that's kind of like cool about this in the Mojave Desert.
There's Charlie chilling.
Look at her.
Yeah, yeah.
So when you say you have your studio, so you're doing your podcast.
From the Road.
Yeah, exactly.
And how are you doing it?
Like whenever you feel like it, you just fire up the podcast when you've got
something to
say.
And yeah.
Dude, that thing looks killer in there.
Yeah, yeah.
See?
Oh, you got a little kitchenette set up.
And how are you cooking?
There's, there's a vent.
Oh, you got an awning.
And I'm shooting these drone shots too, which are pretty fun.
Dude, you're rolling drones.
Look at this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the Mojave.
Check out all those Joshua trees burned.
Those are burned Joshua trees.
Oh, wow.
But so, you know, it's, it's kind of like, you know, I've always been into the
techie
kind of building out studio stuff, right?
So that's when I found out about these vans, the thing that really kind of piqued
my interest
is the, the battery and solar technology that exists now.
So there's two solar panels on the roof and in the back, I've got these
batteries.
Okay.
They're, they're really, they're called battle-borne batteries.
They're like really solid.
Like they use them in sailboats to go around the world, basically.
And there's four of them and the solar panels are charging them constantly.
So I've built, I've got my computers, I've got my cameras, I've got my drone.
I'm charging batteries all the time.
I've got a refrigerator in there.
So I, you know, I can have, you know, cold beer, right?
And, and it's sweet.
So I can go out into the middle of nowhere and have virtually unlimited
electronic capability
and just stay there as long as I want until I run out of food.
Wow.
And so those solar panels, how efficient are they?
Like, will they, they power your studio and all that stuff where you don't have
to use
your, your engine?
You don't have to start up and use gas?
Exactly.
Are you running diesel in your van?
No.
No.
Gas.
No, but that just, that just happened to be the way it went because that van
was available
and I got that one.
But how's the gas mileage?
It's pretty good.
I'll tell you one thing though.
I am always filling up.
Like I never let it go below three quarters of a tank because just in case shit
gets weird.
I never know where I'm going every day.
That's the, like I got weird stories over the last six weeks where I've just
been like,
not sure where I'm going to sleep.
And it's, the sun's going down and then I end up going down a crazy road.
And then the first night I got stuck in the Mojave desert because I looked up
on this app,
dispersed fire road.
I'm thinking, oh, that's pretty cool.
You know, I get there, there's a sign that says tortoises crossing careful.
I start driving out into the desert.
I'm 200 yards in.
I get stuck because it's the soft sand, get stuck in the soft sand.
So I've been a little more careful, but, but.
How do you get out when you get stuck in the soft sand?
Called AAA.
Oh, AAA comes in the desert?
I was, I was a hundred yards from the, from the, from the freeway.
It was like, I hadn't even gotten into it yet.
It was, it was so pathetic.
It was hilarious actually because I'd been planning for months, you know,
and then all of a sudden I'm like, I'm seeing the, you know, the free,
this was like Barstow or something like that.
Before we get into your adventure and I want to, I want to get more into this
van build.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you started it out with just buying this van.
Is it a new van or did you buy it?
Brand new.
So you bought a brand new van and then you bring it to these boho guys.
And these guys, what do they do?
They ask you, what are you planning on doing?
You plan on using this as a studio?
Like your idea from the jump was to do your podcast on the road
with no, no plans other than your own whims, right?
So when, when you do something like that, how do you know what you're going to
need?
You didn't really have any experience in like off-roading or that kind of
living out of a van.
Yeah.
How did you know what you're going to need?
Like, did you research it?
Yeah.
So, well, there's, there's a couple of categories of research.
One was just building the studio itself.
So I built the studio at home first.
That was just the, the, you know, nitty gritty technical stuff.
You know, what kind of microphones, what kind of, uh, amps and preamps I'm
going to use.
And I have some amps that use tubes.
I got rid of those because I figured the tubes had rattled out in the dirt road.
So boring techie stuff.
But, uh, but as far as the survival and the food and the, and all of that and
the van,
they've been real great.
Like I, I, I built my studio equipment into a road case and I know, I knew that
I thought,
well, that could fit under the bed.
And then we sort of planned it out where there's a little door that opens and
you can access it
under the bed.
And we've wired all the cables through the walls and, uh, it's pretty efficient.
So, uh, so you had everything you need to do a podcast down into one box.
Yeah.
So you just pull that box out and then you're ready to roll.
It's actually, it's, it's actually permanently housed under the bed.
So I just, I have a table that pulls out that table.
I was sitting at there, um, and just under there, a little door opens,
microphones plugged
in and away you go.
But the other side of it is like a lot of the video stuff too.
Like the, the drone, the cameras, like I've, I've got some new cameras that I'm
kind of
messing with that are exciting to me.
And so, so I'm kind of out there.
The thing that I was thinking, I was thinking, am I going to get bored out here?
Yeah.
That's what I was going to ask.
I'm all alone with, or lonely.
I'm not going to get bored or lonely.
Yeah.
And, uh, I haven't because I've populated the van with stuff to do.
So when I get bored of the drone, then, uh, I'm making music too.
So I've made a, uh, it's a recording music studio too.
What kind of music?
Well, I'm doing some sort of different stuff.
I've got my acoustic guitar, so I'm going to start doing some, some, uh,
country rap type
of stuff.
Are you going to go on tour?
Country rap.
I call it crap, Joe.
It's a country rap.
Are you going to go on tour?
Maybe, maybe.
Yeah.
As a singer?
Wow.
Yeah.
I could see that.
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I probably maybe incorporate it into my standup or something like that.
You know, I, you know, I was a rapper when I was a teenager.
So maybe I could get back into it.
Yeah.
So, so to get back to this build out, so you get it where you're, you're ready.
You still have your house in LA, right?
And then you decide, all right, let's do it.
You start the car up and you go.
Where did you go?
I drove out, I drove out into the Mojave Desert.
That's the first place.
And the destination was Utah.
And so I started by going out to the Mojave Desert.
And what, what type of, what time of the year was this?
This was, I guess, six or seven weeks ago, I guess.
I've been on the road ever since.
Wow.
Yeah, haven't, haven't been.
It was great, man.
Just eating out of your van?
Yeah.
So that was part of planning like the food.
So I've got these big Rubbermaid containers in the trunk, four of them.
Do you have a refrigerator?
I have a refrigerator, yep.
Is that solar powered as well?
It runs off the electric system.
So the solar is charging the batteries and the batteries run the electric for
the whole van.
All the lights are LED, so it's very, you know, effective, efficient.
And the fridge is also high efficiency cooler, essentially.
So is it like one of those rollout coolers that people have?
It's under one of the seats.
It's called a Dometic cooler.
Because there's a lot of guys who do, what do they, it's not, they don't call
it off-roading.
What do they call it when they go out into the wilderness?
Boondocking.
I don't think they call it that either.
That's the van life term for what people are doing with these vans now.
But where they go off-grid and boondocking is, I think it's a Filipino word
from the U.S. military brought that word.
There's a lot of people that plan, they get a kick out of meticulously planning
like a 500-mile venture through the off-road, through the wilderness with these
like off-road, I forget what they call it, trekking.
God damn it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But it's like there's, I got into it for a while.
I went down a rabbit hole.
There's tons of videos on YouTube of these guys, overlanding, sorry.
That's what they call it, overlanding.
So I'm not going, you know, I don't have extra fuel.
So I've got my tank of fuel.
So I usually, when I get off the main highway, I make sure I've got full tank.
And I've never, I've gotten close to running out of fuel.
Have you thought now that you've had this thing for six weeks, you've been
doing it for six weeks to make revisions?
Like, like maybe have some exterior fuel canisters, maybe put an extended range
gas tank in.
Are you thinking about all these things?
Yeah.
I love these questions.
Yeah, overlanders do all that stuff.
So there's like, yeah, definitely, definitely, you know, the thing is, is this
van is, is, yeah, I could, I mean, look, I'm amazed how remote you can go just,
and this is what I kind of talk about on my social media and some of the videos
I'm making on YouTube.
I'm sometimes sort of telling people like, hey, you know, if you're like
sitting around at home right now and you're bored and you're angry about shit
and you want to, you can just get in your car and drive out to these beautiful
places.
You know, the last week I was on the top of a mountain in the Lincoln National
Forest, right on the border of New Mexico and Texas.
And I mean, there's, there's drone shots where it's, there's nobody for like,
seems like a hundred miles.
Like I drove for an hour up this two lane paved highway and didn't see a car
the entire time driving there.
And then you get up there and you find a place to camp and there's, there, it's
hunters are up there.
So there's lots of dispersed spots with fire pits.
And you're up there all by yourself and you get up in the morning and I make
coffee with this gas powered kettle.
So I'm not eating my battery.
And, uh, you know, I've got all these propane tanks.
I got a Coleman stove.
I'm cooking with my Coleman stove.
I mean, I got lots of cans of beans.
I'm eating a lot of spam and ragu.
I remember you gave me some shit about the ragu last time.
It's pretty good.
The ragu.
I don't think I gave you shit.
I was just kind of joking around with you, but yeah.
But like, you know, I, I, I'm eating a lot of canned food.
Cause part of the, part of what happened was this started from the whole
quarantining, right?
I got all this canned food for the house and I was just cooking for myself.
And then I thought, you know, I could, I could just take this out, take this on
the road.
You're spending a lot of time with no people.
Like, did it feel weird coming here?
Like there's all the people, security people here and Jamie and Jeff and me.
Did it feel weird?
Like all these people?
What's it feel like?
You know, it's interesting because you start to feel a little bit, and I think
this is probably
something that maybe is affecting everybody with the, the, the, the, the
quarantining and
the pandemic and all that stuff.
Maybe not, maybe, maybe certainly not everyone's in their van, but you start to
get to the point
where you think maybe I, I didn't get social anxiety coming here because like,
I know you
guys are getting all tested and all that stuff, but I have a little bit, you
know, I have
a little bit more paranoia about getting this virus than the average person.
Because of cancer?
Because of the fact that you have cancer?
I think so.
I think so.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
So, you know, cause I just don't, it's not even that I feel like I'm more
susceptible
to it.
It's just, I really hate being sick.
When I had cancer, I was in the hospital for six weeks.
It was like painful.
It's, I just hate it.
I hate that loss of control, you know?
So, so, but no, I mean, are you taking care of yourself?
Like vitamin wise, are you taking, uh, like I, supplements, I think I'm eating
pretty healthy.
I don't take spam and ragu, but I mean, like there's a lot of vitamins, slow
down.
There's a lot of vitamins and that stuff.
Um, no, look, I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, I'm exercising a lot of walk.
I'm doing a lot of walks.
That's cool.
Going deep into these woods.
Are you getting any fresh vegetables at all?
Uh, I, I have, uh, canned corn.
I have, I have a large quantity of canned corn.
Corn is barely a vegetable.
I was told corn, I was told corn, rice and beans is enough for subsistence.
Yeah, you can stay alive.
Your heart will stay beating.
I'm just trying to stay alive.
No, I want you to take care of yourself, like vitamins and nutrients and like
corn is
very little of that.
I have onions.
That's not good.
They last a long time.
And potatoes?
Yeah.
Well, there's a little bit of potatoes.
And potatoes.
You can kind of live off of potatoes.
They last a long time.
I have, I mean, full disclosure, just to be clear, I have done a few, um, uh,
you know,
curbside pickup at Walmart and I've got oranges.
So I've got oranges.
Oh, so you won't go inside.
Yeah.
Not, not really trying to, not to go inside.
I have, I have gone inside a couple of times, uh, admittedly.
You're nervous about going inside of Walmart.
I did.
I did do it once.
Yeah.
Cause it was late and I was quite hungry.
But you're hardcore with this fear of the virus.
I'm not sure how, yes, I am.
Yes, I am.
I am sure that I am.
But I also am enjoying, not enjoying, that's the wrong word.
I am, uh, I'm just trying to see if I can do it too.
I'm trying to see if I can do it.
Is it possible to go remote, off the grid and just sort of be disconnected from
the, the, the luxuries that we're used to having in life of being able to go to
a Walmart and grab any food you want.
You know, I'm like, I think I'll have some sushi, you know?
I'm like, okay, I think I'll grab a plate of fresh cut steak.
I mean, it's kind of interesting to kind of go out into these places that are
incredibly remote and beautiful and to cook on a, on a open flame.
And, uh, I brought a fishing rod, haven't caught anything yet.
Um.
Have you done any fishing?
I did a little bit, but I honestly haven't had a lot of time.
How are you getting your licenses?
Uh, online, online.
Online, yeah.
Yeah, I, I, I, uh, I also, I did bring a shotgun as well.
Oh, Jesus.
For protection or for birds?
Uh, well, I have, I've, I've been hunting, but I have not actually, uh, seen an
animal yet.
No animals at all?
No, no.
Are you bringing your dog?
I.
That might be a part of the problem.
Uh, no, I don't bring the dog, actually.
I don't.
So when you say you go hunting, what are you hunting for?
Well, I, in, in my mind, it would be, it would be for birds.
I have a bird gun.
So, but.
What gauge?
Uh, it's a 12 gauge Benelli.
That's a big gun for birds.
Is it?
Yeah.
Well, I guess I got, yeah, I guess so.
It's a Benelli.
For ducks, I guess.
Maybe.
I don't even know what I'm doing, Joe.
I don't know.
But you're, what, what, what birds are you targeting?
Well, I'm not really, honestly, I, I honestly have it just because I feel like
when I, I'm going
in bear country and when I go walking deep into the woods, I kind of feel a
little
nervous.
So I've got my bear spray.
I've got my, you know, hunting knife.
I've got my hands.
You ready to rock?
I'm ready to rock.
Um, but I, uh, honestly, I just like to walk in the woods.
Um, and I like to go deep out into the woods and I bring a compass with me and
I go way
out.
Not, I have the system to not get lost.
Okay.
I know it sounds.
I have a system.
Yeah.
What's the system.
Um, well, basically.
So like last, last, last week I was up on this mountain top in the Lincoln
national forest.
And, uh, so there was a sort of a long straight, I'd call it like a ravine or
something.
So I just walked straight along that ravine.
I knew that would lead back to the van and I followed that until I probably a
mile or so
until I hit a landmark that went that way.
It was a sort of a limestone ledge that went straight.
So I don't go so far that I'm going in circles, right?
But I'm always keeping very good track on those landmarks.
And I just know that, okay, I walked, walked a mile down to this ravine and
this ravine
to this, to this, uh, limestone ledge.
Now I'll walk a mile that way.
Do you find yourself way more aware of where you are because you have to be
responsible for
yourself and because you are alone, off grid, different than you would be that
if you were
with a bunch of friends wandering around, you probably wouldn't be paying that
much attention.
I love it.
It's my favorite thing.
You know, I, I, I really do love it.
You know, we talked about it before, you know, how I used to go out and canoe
trips in Canada
when I was a kid and just, you know, this is the first time I've ever done it
alone,
alone.
I've never done camping alone before who goes camping alone, but you know, I, I,
there's something
even really extra special about it.
And so I have a lot of friends who really enjoy it.
And, and to clarify, like, I do bring the dog with me on a lot of these walks
and when
I have the shotgun, but I have no intention of firing the gun, um, cause I don't
hurt her
ears.
Right.
Oh yeah, for sure.
But, uh, but, but if I ever went with the intention of possibly firing the gun,
then, then
I leave her, uh, you know, in the van.
You have to worry about coyotes with her, huh?
Oh yeah.
And she, she, this was, this happened a couple nights ago.
It was really kind of interesting.
Dogs are so smart.
We should let everybody know.
She's a, she's a little doggy, but she's adorable.
So the other night, say hi, chopper, other night.
Hi, sweetie.
She was sleeping.
You could tell.
She's like, dad, I was just sleeping.
The other night, um, we were surrounded by them multiple times.
We've been surrounded by them in the van at night.
Like, so it was sort of late at night and I had a campfire going and we just
heard like,
you know, I don't know, more than I've ever heard.
Actually, there must've been like 30 or something out there and they were howling.
And, and for a moment she barked and then I said, quiet.
And then she sort of realized, I could see her realize cause she barks at
everything.
There's a video I've put up on my YouTube, which is pretty funny.
Cause you know, we saw some, uh, we saw a javelina, you know, wild, wild boar.
Don't kill your dog too, man.
Yeah.
We were in the van.
So we were driving down this, this road and this was in New Mexico and I'm
getting my camera
to get this shot of this, you know, wild boar.
And she's not really a, it's not a javelina is not really a pig.
It looks like a pig, but it's not, it's a peccary.
It's a different kind of animal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was, I think it was a, it wasn't a wild boar.
It was a javelina.
Yeah.
I think it was.
Yeah.
I'd never seen one before.
Where was this?
New Mexico.
Yeah.
In the, in the, um, Gila national forest.
Gila.
Gila.
Gila.
Yeah.
Um, so, um, she's so cute.
So she starts barking at it.
Look at this.
Yeah, there it is.
Oh, you got video footage of it.
Oh yeah.
That's definitely a javelina.
You'll see it.
And she starts barking and then it runs off.
They're vicious little fuckers.
They killed Stanhope's neighbor's dog.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
There it goes.
They, they, uh, it's interesting that it's by itself.
Yeah.
So actually later we were just up the road.
We drove by a river.
Look at her.
She barks and then she yawns.
She's so well taken care of.
She's not worried.
Good job pulling that video up.
That's dope.
That's pretty impressive.
You guys.
Wow.
Look how beautiful that is.
So that next shot there.
God, look at that landscape.
So this is the deer.
She scares the deer away here.
And this is, uh, that is just outside of, uh, Las Cruces, uh, New Mexico.
You got a few deer out there.
Okay.
There was a lot out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, um, I've got, that's not actually my good.
That's in New Mexico, huh?
That's in New Mexico, yeah.
And she's barking at the deer?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What time, when was this?
How long ago?
This was, uh, I don't know, a week ago.
They might be in season, son.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
There's, I, when I'm in a, when I'm out for my walk, I've got my, my orange,
Hunter Orange
on.
Do you have a license to shoot deer?
Do you have a tag?
Uh, I don't, no.
No.
Yeah.
I just have a small game license just, uh, for New Mexico.
If you got a deer, do you know what to do with it?
Well, I, I have no intention of shooting a deer because I'm by myself.
I mean, what am I going to do with it?
You know?
Well, you don't have enough refrigeration.
I do have Steve Rinelli's, Rinelli's book on, uh, small game, uh, preparation.
Oh, really?
Oh, that's awesome.
And I loved your, your episode of that, by the way.
I just did one with him a couple of, uh, days ago.
A new one?
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
How long ago was that?
Five days ago?
Five episodes ago?
A week?
Yeah, he's awesome.
I, I particularly liked the, uh, little face.
Look at that little face.
Look at her.
She's so cute.
First thing she did to me is bite me.
Aw.
She can run it up to me, wagging her tail and bit my fingers.
Like, she just wants to play.
She's still teething a little bit.
How old is she?
She's, it's probably six and a half months.
Aw.
Yeah.
She's so cute.
She's so playful, too.
Yeah.
Um, but, uh, yeah, I, uh, so, like, full, full disclosure, though.
Like, I've never really hunted before.
I don't, I'm not a hunter.
I've never hunted before.
A lot of fishing, grew up fishing, did a ton of that.
But I just, I do like, I just, I just, there's something about being all alone
in the middle
of nowhere.
Yeah.
At night, surrounded by coyotes, that I, I'd be lying if I say it wasn't a
little bit scary.
Like, it's a little, it's a little bit scary.
There's something about those, uh, alone trips that people say you're, you've,
you do sort
of, uh, an inventory of your life and start assessing your, your behavior and
who you are.
And you're alone for so long that you're, you're forced to sort of think about
what you've done.
And are you happy with your choices in life?
Are you happy with your job?
Are you happy with your relationships?
Yeah.
Is that what you're experiencing?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
My friend, uh, Aaron Snyder, he's been on the podcast before he owns Kofaru.
It's a, a big, uh, backpack company.
They make like really super high end hunting backpacks.
And he spends hundreds of days a year in the woods by himself, either by
himself or with
other people hunting.
And he goes on these long backpacking solo adventures hunting where he goes
deep into the
woods, many, many, many miles in by himself with just his camp on his back.
That's it.
And that's the thing that he's always said is that, you know, you get in there
and then
once you get back to civilization, you want to call ex-girlfriends and
apologize or call
friends and mend fences and, you know, just sort of like give you an inventory
of what you've
been.
Some, I think sometimes we get caught up in momentum in life.
You know, that life is a series of things that you have to do.
You wake up in the morning, you have to be at work at a certain time.
You try to get to the gym, you try to get this, and then you have a phone calls
you have to
make.
And then you have to, you know, sync your calendar with the other people you're
working with.
And then there's this and that.
And then you're planning for two weeks.
We have that meeting and this and that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
And you get so caught up in momentum.
You never stop to take a breath and look at yourself and look at what you're
doing and go,
is this what I like?
Is this what I want to do?
Or is this something that I'm just, am I on this like sled that's flying down
the side
of this snow-covered mountain and I don't know exactly how I'm going to get off
of it?
Uh-huh.
And you made me think of something.
A lot of the places I've been, no cell service.
Mmm.
And so it's three days and like maybe text will fire out, but there's no video.
There's no...
No reading YouTube comments.
No reading YouTube comments.
How nice is that?
Yeah, there's been a few days where I'll get the cell service.
And then immediately check the YouTube comments.
And then I'm on it.
Yeah.
I know.
We talked about this before.
I, I want to try to adopt that.
What is it?
You said post and ghost?
I love that.
Post and ghost.
That's my move.
Because I have sort of gone the opposite approach.
I'm like kind of interacting very much with, with, with those comments.
And I'm sure the fans like that.
The nice fans.
I find it kind of a fun, creative exercise.
Like sometimes I'll have, you know, a hater or whatever.
And then I'll get into a little thing with him and it's fun.
But for the most part, I've created kind of a very positive thing.
But, but like, what's fun is just getting away from it, from the phone.
But like what you said is exactly what it's been like going through that.
I just love it out there.
And, and, and...
What have you learned about yourself?
Definitely that I've been on my phone too much, but I think I, I think one
thing that
I've learned is that it, that I, I actually do pretty well being alone,
actually.
I was, I was worried that maybe I would, would not be able to, like I thought
one of the things
I was thinking when I started this whole process of planning, I was planning
for several months,
getting the van, getting all the stuff ready.
I thought, what if I get out there and I can't stand it, you know, what if I,
you know, two
days in, but I got to go home.
I need my shower and my bed, but, but I actually, after a couple of days, I
just start to really
kind of get very relaxed and you start to kind of feel a very, a nice
connection with, with,
with, with nature, I guess.
I mean, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm going to bed at eight at night, nine at night,
waking up
at 5:30 in the morning, you know, making my coffee as the sun is rising over a
mountain.
And so I'm watching the sunrise and it's cold, it's cold in the morning up
there, man.
Especially when I was up in Northern Utah, like, cold, but there's a whole
system to keeping
the van warm and stuff too.
But, but so.
What's the system to keeping the van warm?
Well, so the first few weeks, I didn't have this proper insulation on the
windows.
So I, I ordered this stuff that's for the van windows.
Do you glue it to the windows or something?
Magnets.
There's these magnets.
You just take it off.
It's a nice thick, thick, sort of a padding.
So you heat up the van inside and then you put that up and I put it on first, I
just
put it on.
I put it on, it covers the windshield, the two front passenger, the, all, all
windows.
They're completely sealed.
And then I, I start the engine and I, you know, run it.
I don't run the gas out, but I, you know, run it for 10 minutes.
The thing heats up and then I just don't open the door and I do that right when
it's
time to kind of crash.
How long does it keep it warm for?
Uh, you know, it's warm until I fall asleep.
And then I wake up in the morning freezing my butt off.
But no, it's, it's not too bad.
I mean, I, I don't think this would be something that you would want to go out
in the winter
in, but, but, uh, but you know, this time of year it's a, and down here in
Texas, it
was, it was nice.
The last, last few days.
It's been nice.
There's a guy who's got a video.
Uh, he, he's living in, out of his van too, doing the same sort of situation.
He's very organized, got the whole deal, but he's doing it in Colorado and he's
in the
middle of the winter, like covered in snow and does all these, uh, detailed
things like
how he gets out of snow, what he does and how he stays warm.
Yeah.
It's, it's, I, I imagine it would be a lot, uh, less, uh, simple up, up in that
kind of
temperature.
Well, just camping in cold weather is rough.
You know, you have to have the right insulated sleeping bag.
You have to make sure that you have, yeah.
Down booties.
Down booties.
That's my, my new discovery on the internet, right?
This is what's hilarious about the world we're living in now with the internet
and everything
and having access to everything.
Before I left, I start researching, oh, oh, here's a guy talking about winter
camping.
Down booties, right?
There's these little feathery down things, you can't, you put them on your bare
feet at night
and you wear them in your sleeping bag or, and your feet are warm, right?
If your feet are warm.
So I start like sort of seeing all these little things that, that I, oh, that'll
help, you know.
Uh, you know, uh, you know, these little products and you, you go on Amazon,
shows up to your
house the next day, your supplies start building up, you know, but, uh, yeah, I
have these down
booties, uh, and, uh, and, uh, you know, I've got, I've got nice, uh, you know,
Marina wool
under garments and things like this.
And I think I'm, is it Marina wool hunting stuff, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Marina wool is great because, uh, when you get wet, it doesn't make you cold.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like if you get wet in cotton and then you get cold, you're in trouble.
Yeah.
Like the issue is if you're going somewhere and you're hiking and it's cold out.
Well, even though it's cold out, if you're hiking and you're wearing a lot of
layers, you're
going to sweat, but if you sweat and you're wearing cotton, you're in big
trouble.
Right.
Because as soon as you cool off, that wet cotton freezes, it feels terrible.
Yeah.
But wool is different.
Yeah.
Wet wool keeps you warm.
Yeah.
Like you can be in wool and it gets wet and it's wet still.
It's not the most comfortable thing, but you're warm.
Right.
It's, it's very interesting.
Yeah.
I guess because it's like an animal fiber, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's
been
relatively comfortable.
There's been a few nights where I've been a little colder than I would have
liked to
have been, but, and a lot of the places right now I've been right now, I've, it's
no fires
because of the, because of the dry.
So, so there's, you know, but the last week I was in a place I could have a
fire.
So I keep a nice campfire going.
I got an axe.
Were you in Utah?
Where were you?
I was in, that was up in the Gila National Forest.
In New Mexico.
No, that was the Lincoln National Forest.
Lincoln National Forest.
So you went to New Mexico and then you drove your way up to Austin.
Uh, well, first I actually first, so one of the most beautiful places I went,
by the
way, was in Utah.
I went to this place called the Valley of the Gods on the, on the Navajo, uh,
reservation
there.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a video of that.
I don't know if you have a video of that drone shot.
That is, it's like, they shot all the John Wayne movies out there in Monument
Valley.
And then just down the road is this place called the Valley of the Gods.
Look at this place.
So look, all alone right there.
That's you.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
And you know, a big part of this for me is also looking for places that are
going to photograph
well, you know, cause I, I enjoy photography and video.
So do you have all this stuff on tomgreen.com?
Is this on your YouTube channel?
I'm putting it on my YouTube channel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I link it to my website.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's on tomgreen.com too.
Yeah.
So, so I get these shots.
You see Charlie chilling out there.
Charlie is like intrigued by the drone.
The first 10 times I've flown it, she just sort of see, she's going under the
van cause
she hears the drone coming.
Did you call her chopper and Charlie?
Uh, no, I, I must've just not Charlie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did someone call her chopper?
Did I just call her chopper?
No, no, no.
Maybe.
Yeah.
That's your nickname.
That's your new middle name.
Charlie chopper.
Why did I call her chopper?
Did someone else call her chopper outside?
Yeah.
Charlie, Charlie.
Yeah.
Named after travels with Charlie, the John Steinbeck novel travels with Charlie.
And if you see on the van, see at the back, you can't read it, but there's a
blurry word
right above the rear wheel.
It's Rossinante, which is what, uh, yeah, right there, which was Steinbeck
called his
van Rossinante, which is named after Don Quixote's horse.
So there's, it's, uh, multiple layers of homages there, but look at that shot.
Isn't that amazing?
It is amazing.
I love your, your shirt too.
That's a very lumberjack-y shirt you're wearing in there.
Oh yeah.
It's warm.
It's warm.
I don't know if you can just scroll that ahead.
God, that's so pretty.
The last shot of this video, I waited for sunset.
Oh, here's my, here's how I take a shower.
So you can just go out there and camp anywhere you want.
Just pull over and camp.
Yeah.
Now, do you have any concern about running into serial killers?
Well, that's why I got the shotgun, Joe, but you know.
You look like a serial killer.
Yeah.
You look like it could, like if I was going through there with my family and
you're like,
hello.
And you're just waving.
I'd be like, ah, fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They don't want to mess with me.
Who's this crazy guy?
You know, look at the last shot right after this though.
There's this, this sunset.
I kind of like, look at those, those beauts in the background.
See that?
The shot after this one to just let it, just let it roll.
You'll see.
Let's let it roll.
You'll see.
For the sun to get these nice shots.
So this is a shot here.
Watch this drone shot.
It's pretty cool.
So, and to kind of get these interesting images, you'll see the sun will go.
Now, what do you strap on the drone?
Is it built in with cameras?
It's got a camera on it.
So this is just not even a super, look, watch the sun disappear.
And then, and then the music that's playing is music that I made in the van.
It's a score.
You can play the audio if you want.
It's my music, but it's a score.
And then I'm doing this sort of ambient score.
What kind of drugs are you getting?
You know, nothing too crazy, but so I see the sun pops up.
This is like ocean music.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is like music that I expect to hear about, like a documentary on whales.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of a Brian Eno influence type of vibe.
Now, are you doing a video whenever you feel like it?
Are you doing them on a schedule?
I kind of just, I'm always shooting stuff.
And then I'll edit.
And sometimes I'll, the first, the first, the first month, I didn't post as
much because
honestly, I was just trying to figure out how to survive out there.
And now I've got a good system.
So I think the videos are going to start coming a little more fast and furious
now.
Was there a moment where you were like, "What the fuck am I doing?
I need to go back to LA."
Every day.
Every day.
Every day.
Every single day.
I get up and say that.
For real.
And I'm not even exaggerating.
Every day I get up and go, "What the fuck am I doing?"
But you keep going.
Yeah.
Because I have, I have some, I have some things on the agenda that I want to
accomplish in
the next month in Texas when I leave here.
First of all, I don't know where I'm sleeping tonight.
Okay.
I don't know where I'm going tonight.
But I'm, I'm, I'm, I have a few little interesting tricks for that too.
But if I ever get stuck in a bind where I've been driving and I haven't found a
nice place
like that, I'll go to just a straight up truck stop and I'll wedge in between a
bunch of 18
wheelers, crash, get up in the morning and, you know, start finding my
destination.
What I've been finding is I get on these sort of, this sort of pattern where I'll
go a couple
of days where I don't find a place like that, you know, that's like, but every
three or four
days I'll find a place kind of at that level of beauty.
And then once I'm there, I'll stay there for four or five days and just really
get into
it.
I'll shoot a lot of video.
I'll edit and I'll create some music and I'll create some things.
And then when I get back to cell service, I'll post and then I go look for the
next spot.
So my agenda, when I leave here today, um, is, um, I'm, I want to go, uh,
around Texas
and go find some ghost towns and...
Ghost towns?
Lots of ghost towns in Texas.
Lots.
Really?
There's apparently there's 500 of them, you know.
500 ghost towns.
Back in the silver mining and gold mining days when they built the railroads,
uh, first of
all, the silver would dry up, the town would dry up.
So there's these towns that are just, you know, dilapidated, broken down towns
in the
middle of the...
Didn't Kim Basinger buy one of those?
Mm-hmm.
She did, yeah.
She did, right?
In Georgia, right?
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I want...
She must've been losing her marbles.
Like why would she buy a ghost town?
Yeah.
I don't, I don't know.
But you know, there's a real sort of beauty to it because...
So there's two things I've been doing that I found I really enjoy and they're
new things,
so I can't speak to them like with total detail.
But I'm, you know, next time I talk to you, I'm gonna have a lot more
information about
this.
There's, um, uh, native ruins of, uh, like, uh, like there's, there's
unbelievable amount
of Native American ruins out there in the desert of New Mexico.
And the reason I was in the, in the Gila National Forest, I went to, um, the,
uh, the cliff
dwellings that were built by, uh...
The Anastasi?
Yeah.
Those, the Anastasi is in Colorado.
Oh, okay.
And this, but it looks just like that.
Same kind of thing?
It's exactly like that.
And, uh, so there's, uh...
Are they the Navajo then?
They were the, uh, the Magolan Indians, they were called, uh, in 1280, they
built this.
Whoa.
And so, that video is, that is a clip of that, um...
1280?
Yeah, there's a clip of that in the Arizona one, there's a clip of that.
And these are, like, first of all, very remote.
Um, that was right actually where we saw the Javelina, it was right after I
went there.
There are 50 rooms in this thing, built out of stone, up on a cliff, uh, they've
created
an...
uh, it was built in 1280, and then not discovered by the, the park ranger told
me this, uh, last
week.
Yeah, right here.
Wow.
That's just sitting there.
Not discovered until when?
Not discovered until 1874.
Holy shit.
Right?
1874.
And so they discovered this, and, uh, it wasn't until a few years later that,
uh, Roosevelt,
Theodore Roosevelt made it a national monument.
So in the period between 1874 and, I think, 1907, it got looted a bit.
When they found it, it was full of pottery, it was full of all this artifacts
and stuff.
That got looted, that's gone.
But there's some things in there that were really interesting that they did
discover.
Like they discovered, uh, a macaw feather.
This is, this is pretty beautiful place.
This is wild.
Yeah.
And you're, this is all drone footage, right?
No, this is me shooting with my, my handheld camera.
So you're allowed to walk around up there?
Yeah.
They have a nice, uh, it's really set up nice.
It's a, there's a, you, you drive in on a nice paved road and then there's a
national
park, uh, facility, state park or national park.
It's the Gila national forest facility there, um, national park facility, I
believe.
But, uh, and, uh, there's some, some, uh, rangers there and some, some people
with knowledge
of the history and then they have a nice maintained path that walks up, so shh,
shh, shh.
Were there people up there looking at it with you?
There was, on that day, uh, I saw the sun was kind of going down there and
there were two
other people.
That's it.
And they walked up ahead.
I mean, yeah.
National monument, yeah.
Gila cliff drawings.
Yeah.
In the Gila wilderness.
The Gila wilderness is where they have some of the best elk hunting in the
world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, and I saw some elk, I saw some elk, did you hear them screaming?
I didn't, I did not, but, uh, but, uh, that's the, they, they were the thing
that I noticed
about the elk, which, but just the one time I saw them was they were, I was
driving.
So I was driving a very remote sort of, I'm not going, I'm not taking any interstates.
I never take an interstate all the way from LA, the whole way to here.
I, I maybe was on the 10 for like, maybe a couple of miles just to get from one
highway
to another.
So you take the smaller highways and then you see like these towns, these
places that, you
know, went away when the railway was built somewhere else, or when they put the
interstate
somewhere else, the town dried up.
And then there's these, these towns that are just kind of half alive and fledgling
towns.
And it's just a real beauty there to it, right?
So, you know, from a photography standpoint, you know, like there's a lot of
nice architecture
and things that is just really interesting.
So, but uh...
So you consciously made a decision in the beginning of this journey to not take
any interstates?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause I want to, I want to go find these places that are off the beaten track
and, and, and,
and photograph them really.
But so I was coming around a corner and there was a herd of elk and they were
sort of in the
distance and they were running, like playing with each other.
Have you ever seen that?
Like there was one was running and then they were like running around.
How long ago was this?
How long ago was this?
Oh, like seven days ago or something.
Oh, okay.
A week.
So it wouldn't be the rut.
Um, the rut is in September.
Yeah.
They were running.
I didn't...
Sometimes they late rut in October.
Yeah.
So what one, it was one was running and I thought they were horses for sure.
Cause I just thought, well, I've never seen it.
Then it was fast, really fast.
Like across this, it was a sort of farmer's field.
And they were playing with each other?
Yeah.
Then I, then the car pulled up, I pulled up my car and they immediately stopped
and looked
at me and walked off into the woods.
But, but, uh, yeah, it was, it's, uh, it's, it's beautiful out there, man.
But yeah, ghost towns.
That's, that's where I'm going after this.
I'm going to go try to find some ghost towns and, uh, and photograph those.
And, and I'm writing, you know, I, I, I, I write in the van.
I'm working on things that I'm working on, you know, uh, you know, I'm not just
completely
off the grid.
I mean, I'm writing an animated series right now that I'm sort of working on.
So I, I'm on my computer sometimes.
An animated series.
Yeah.
There's this, I, I, I'm working with this great company out of Ottawa, my
hometown, they're
called Mercury Filmworks.
And they're, uh, they actually animate Mickey Mouse and all sorts of stuff for
Disney, the
big, big animated, uh, pod, uh, company.
And so I'm writing a, a fun show about, uh, a crazy kid who likes pulling pranks
and, and,
uh, you know, and so.
How about you?
Yes.
It's called Little Tommy Green.
Oh boy.
How on the nose is that?
It's like a Dennis the Menace, you know, but he goes out and, you know, pulls
pranks on
his parents and does a lot of the kinds of things I did.
So, but, uh, but you know, so I'm writing that and, uh, and just kinda, you
know, it's
interesting.
I found that like I can kind of do everything that I would do at home in the
van, you know,
with this electrical system, you know?
So it's pretty neat.
Yeah.
You seem like you're in a good place.
Like it's seems like it's been tricky, but you, I mean, I'm getting the
impression that
you're really enjoying this.
I am.
Yeah.
Is this going to extend?
How long are you going to do this for?
Uh, this is, this has been a, this is a very good question.
Um, is this your new life?
It's possible.
Really?
I'm not selling my house or anything.
I think what I'll do is, I mean, I bought the van.
It's, I didn't rent it for a quick one-off trip, you know, and, and, and I've
put a lot
of time into it and I am enjoying it.
And, uh, you know, one thing is I've always loved photography.
I'm bringing a Leica, uh, film camera as well.
So I'm shooting a lot of still photography as well.
And it's nice to have something to take a picture of, you know, it's nice to go
somewhere
interesting.
So I'm enjoying that.
Um, but I think that, I think that what I'll probably do is, you know, when
life gets back
to normal, whenever the fuck that is, right?
Yeah.
What is normal anymore?
Yeah.
Um, part of my plan is to, you know, when I start touring again, doing standup
again,
I think I might take a few less airplanes, uh, in, in the future and be in the
van a little
bit more.
So like, say if you have a gig, if you decided to stand up in Utah, you might
drive there.
I'm thinking I might start to talk to, you know, the way I book it about sort
of doing
more of a road trip type run of like in a straight line as opposed to go, oh, I'm
in, you know,
Seattle this week and Boston next week.
Right.
We have to fly around.
Maybe do an East coast run or do.
Yeah.
That's smart.
So, so I'm thinking it might be something that I do.
I, uh, I, I, I, I'm not, I'm not moving into my van full time, but I definitely
do, do
love it.
But you're moving in that direction.
It seems like.
Look, I, I, it's interesting what you say, I believe is, is true because, uh, a
little
more coffee.
Yeah.
Get in there, fella.
Um, by the way, this is the way I make coffee too.
I make coffee with this thing.
This is not a endorsement or anything, but it's pretty cool product.
It's called a jet boil.
Yeah.
I use jet boils.
Yeah.
Those are great, huh?
So, cause I don't want to use my battery.
So I, I boil up my water and then I make my coffee and then I pour it into a
thermos.
I got my coffee all day and the hot coffee in the thermos all day.
It's amazing that it stays hot.
So I, and I was thinking about that.
Modern technology.
Thinking about that exact thing.
I'm going, is the technology, has thermos technology changed?
Oh yeah.
Since in Canada, I was a kid.
You'd take a thermos to hockey cause we play outside on outdoor rinks and you'd
bring
a thermos of hot chocolate.
We didn't.
Yeah.
Well, when I was a kid, we used to ice fish and we used to bring hot coffee.
Oh yeah.
Out onto the lake.
Yeah.
I never did much of that.
It's, uh, it's fun.
It's not as fun as regular fishing, but when you're living in a place like
Boston.
Yeah.
Were you in the, in the hut on the?
No.
We were just out there.
Yeah.
What were you fishing for?
Pike or?
Trout usually.
Trout.
Yeah.
Pike too though.
Yeah.
Pike are pretty active in cold weather.
Do you fish in these days?
I do when I can, when I can.
Yeah.
Just unfortunately, ever since I moved to Austin, it's been kind of playing
catch up and getting
everything set up and you know, just, I'm still not totally moved.
I mean, I moved in, but I'm not totally settled in, but I'm pretty close.
Yeah.
Didn't catch much trout growing up, mostly large mouth bass and pike was where
I would,
what I would fish for.
But, but yeah, thermos technology, I don't know if it's changed, but it's
amazing.
Oh yeah.
Yeti flipped the fucking game on its head.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeti coolers are amazing.
I have a Yeti cooler that I take when I hunt and you can put ice in that Yeti
cooler
in the summer and seven days later you'll have ice.
It's bananas.
They're crazy.
I, I, I took a video that I put on my Instagram of a, we shot deer in Hawaii,
shot axis deer
in Hawaii.
Put the, you know, they, they put the thing in the cargo, the, you seal up the
Yeti and
got it all the way back to LA, left it outside overnight.
Then the next day at noon, I opened it up and it was filled with ice.
Okay.
Like rock solid ice.
Okay.
It's crazy how good those things insulate.
That's better than, that's better than, I just have a regular thermos for my
coffee.
But that's pretty amazing.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know how.
The coolers are way better.
The thermoses are better.
Those, you know, Yeti makes those tumblers.
They'll keep your coffee hot, like literally all day.
I don't know what they're doing.
Some voodoo, but it's fucking amazing.
I loved in the, I love the, the sock foot, uh, walk in when you did the, when
you were
with Steve.
Oh yeah.
When you're sneaking up on deer, you got to take your shoes off.
Is that something that you've done before?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, my friend Remy Warren calls it an SOS, a shoes off situation.
Like when you're, when you're closing in on, uh, particularly on mule deer.
Yeah.
Mule deer are very sensitive to predators.
Elk are not nearly as sensitive.
Elk hear a lot of noise.
The elk are a big animal and you know, they're worried about mountain lions and
bears and stuff
like that, but you know, they're, they're a little less worried than the
smaller animals
are.
So mule deer are particularly worried.
So they're very jumpy.
They're always like, like listening around and their ears are twisting.
And if you snap a branch, they'll, they'll pop up and start running.
Was that a, obviously that was a fun day with you and Steve out there.
But like, what was, was that must've been, that was in Nevada, wasn't it?
Yeah.
That was in the Nevada high country.
We're hunting mule deer.
We struck out.
Yeah.
But, uh, I got real close a couple of times to deer.
I just didn't really get a shot.
Did you feel, is it kind of sort of nice sometimes when they get away?
I mean, cause you feel like.
It is because, well, it's a luxury because I am living in a first world country
and I
have access to food and I'm not starving.
And you know, so it's a, it's a luxury that I can enjoy the fact that they got
away.
Cause this is something that I've been grappling with a little bit, because
like I said, I'm not
a hunter or haven't, but, but now I am hunting, but I haven't.
I haven't actually seen anything.
So I'm just looking.
I'm just saying, when I'm saying I'm hunting, I'm just, I'm looking for
something.
You're looking for birds, right?
And in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, grouse or quail.
I could probably, you know, wrap my head around that.
Shoot one of those.
Yeah.
Cause first of all, you know, I'm eating raw onions and canned beans out there.
I'm not cooking onions, but you know, I mean, that would be pretty tasty.
You know, a nice chicken out there, you know, a nice wild chicken.
But the thing is, is I also kind of know I'm never going to find one because I
don't know
what I'm doing.
Right.
So like, and I don't have, I think you really need dogs that are trained to
roast the birds
out.
Not necessarily.
Yeah.
No, you, you, there's a lot of birds that you can get if you just.
So I've done some research.
Okay.
So I went to, I went to, this was a top of a mountain.
Where was this?
This was on the road for a while, but it was, you know, the, I know the, the,
the dusk,
the dusty grouse is native to the, this certain elevation in the Waisach
plateau.
That's where I was the Waisach plateau in Utah.
And I went up there.
I don't think that's how you say it.
Wasatch or.
I think that's it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just, I just, I just read the sign when I drove up the road.
I know.
Beautiful country though.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
And they're in the Aspens.
And so, you know, I walked up, but there was a moment where I was walking
through the
Aspens looking for the, the dusty grouse and you know, didn't see one.
And then there were three beautiful deer standing there like, you know, as far
as Jamie away,
looking at me, standing there with my shotgun, looking at him.
I'm just like, I don't know what I'd do with you guys, but I'm pretty hungry
right now,
but I'll let you guys, let you guys go and keep looking for my bird.
But, but so I don't know.
I don't know that I would ever have even really.
Want to shoot a mammal?
A mammal for some reason.
Yeah.
I don't know if I would.
But you eat them.
I've heard you talk about this and I agree with it too, but, but, but, but, but
I just
don't know if I'd be able to do it.
I don't know.
You would definitely be able to do it if you had to for food.
Yeah.
And I'm sure you would develop a different sort of a relationship with the
animal.
You would think that you're, you're very appreciative of them, but you'll, you'll
develop this real predator,
prey relationship with animals if you need to survive.
You know, I've talked about this many times on, but unfortunately I'm going to
talk about it again.
There's a fantastic series that vice guide to travel did, um, back in the day.
It's quite a few years old, at least eight years old.
I think it's called, um, Heinmo's Arctic adventure.
And it's a guy, um, I think his name is Heinmo Kuth.
I think that's his last name.
And he lives up in the middle of nowhere in Alaska.
And he actually has a license to be in this particular area or a permit to be
in this particular
area that no one else can ever have a house in there again.
He's like grandfathered in.
Yeah.
And all this guy does is, uh, go out and subsistence hunt.
So he goes out and hunts caribou.
He goes out and he fishes and that's all he does.
That's, that's his whole life.
And this guy has this incredible connection to, to life and to, to his food.
And, but he's also a very articulate, intelligent man.
So when he talks about it, he's able to talk about it in a way.
This is the guy right here.
Wow.
So he's got all of his food and it's frozen.
So that's his cabin.
That's where he lives.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's been out there since I think since the seventies, man.
And this is where I'm headed.
Super.
Yeah, I think so.
Super fucking healthy and really robust.
This guy, um, didn't find out about nine 11 until quite a while afterwards.
And I think he found out from a photograph.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
And he lives up there.
It's like one of those.
With his wife.
It's like one of those.
With his wife.
Japanese soldiers they found in the woods.
Sort of.
In the sixties, you know.
Right.
Right.
They still thought the war was going on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But this guy, he's got a really interesting way of describing what he thinks is
great about
this life.
Wow.
Wait, what's, where do I find this?
This is amazing.
It's a vice guided travel.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm going to be a part of the movie.
I'm super, it doesn't make sense to say proud of you, because what the fuck
does that mean?
I am, though.
I think it's so cool.
I sent you a text right after you announced your Spotify deal.
I was just thinking, nobody has ever done that before in the history of all
broadcasting.
I said, Johnny Carson was the guy who we all looked up to back in the day, had
everybody watching him.
It was a different world.
Television was, you know, three networks.
Everybody watched Johnny.
He was a guy who became this very successful person off of traditional media.
But to do what you've done is just so incredible.
And I just, congratulations.
Thanks, buddy.
It's definitely something that, you know, I, you know, we've talked about this
before, but I always thought, man, you could do that.
You could do that.
You could be the biggest show and not be on network TV.
I always believed that.
And, uh, thank you for, for, for, for proving it because it's like, it's so
cool.
And I love the studio, by the way.
Well, thank you for being a pioneer, man, because you gave me some of the...
I mean, I'm a real pioneer now.
I'm living in a log chopping wood for, for dinner.
But you were a pioneer of this because you gave me the seeds of the earliest
ideas about doing a podcast.
Well, you've been very kind with, with, when you've said these things to me
over the years and last time, but, but you know, what I, what I find amazing
about it that I never was able to figure out.
But I was into the technology and I was never really able to figure out what is
so amazing.
What I've watched you figure out is you've really made a show that really
captures the interest of people.
You know, a lot, huge population of people love what you guys talk about on the
show and that's what's, what's really cool.
You know, uh, you know, just, just, I mean, how did you determine that?
Like, you know, I, I, I just watched your interview with Kanye.
I just watched your interview with Alex Jones and I'm just, I'm just seeing all
these subjects that I see swirling around and I'm going, well, that's the kind
of stuff that like, when I go down a rabbit hole on the internet, like I want
to, I want to, you know, learn about these things.
Yeah.
Things.
Was there a moment where you realized, oh wait, like if I talk about, you know,
X, Y, or Z, that's really capturing people's attention or was it just what you
were interested in?
Never for a second.
Never for a second have I said, this is going to capture people's interest.
Never.
Everything has been like, Ooh, I want to talk to that guy.
Oh, that guy said he was in a Navy air, a Navy jet and he was tracking a UFO
commander, David Fravor.
Yeah.
Ooh, I want to talk to him.
Yeah.
Oh, Bob Lazar said he worked on alien technology in area S four.
Oh, I want to talk to him.
Oh, this guy said he saw Bigfoot or that guy says he's working on life
extension and figuring out how to lengthen your telomeres.
Or this guy knows how to, you know, whatever it is, whatever they're, they're
figuring out the age of the universe or people are just, you know, people that
are writing books or people that are, you know, former military people or
people that are whatever they are.
If I find them interesting.
I like people.
I'm a big fan of people.
I like talking to all kinds of different people.
I like the way their brain thinks.
I like comparing the way people's brain thinks.
I like, I like sort of like just seeing how they view the world because the way
you view the world is the way you personally view the world, but it's very much
influenced by the things that you've found attractive about the way the other
people that you've run into see things.
Like we are not individuals in the sense that we're autonomous completely alone
without any influence whatsoever from the outside world.
We are, we have multi influences.
We're constantly being influenced by our environment.
That's why you're in where you live is so important.
And one of the things that I found in moving from LA to Austin is that where
you live, it makes a big impact on the amount of stress you have and how you
feel.
I feel so much better here.
Just right away, disconnected from Hollywood, disconnected from, you know,
traditional forms of show business, but also the people here, the people here
are different.
Yeah.
They're more relaxed.
They're regular people.
Yeah.
Chappelle and I were having a conversation about this last night and he was
like, we were talking about how like people here in Austin, they're real people.
Yeah.
They're not people that are trying to get famous and people that are trying to,
you know, get on television shows and do movies and this is a weirdness to that
life.
And some of the people that do that are really cool.
Yeah.
It's rare and nice when you run into a guy like Chris Pratt, who is a super
famous guy.
He's in the movies but could not be more genuine.
Genuine.
Could not be more down to earth.
Yeah.
Could not be more normal and friendly.
Super great guy.
Just happens to be a big movie star.
But that's rare.
Most of the people that want that life, they're all kind of wacky and fucked up
and you, you, you're in their world with their energy and they infect all the
people around them.
They infect people that are in the service industry, managers, agents, this is
fucking hive of weirdness.
Out here there's none of that.
There's none of that.
And almost immediately I felt a lowering of stress level.
Almost immediately.
And then the people that you deal with, like whether it's someone who's working
at the counter at Walgreens or restaurants, they're so nice.
They're so friendly.
And so because early on in your show, you had the confidence to just do your
own thing, right?
You, you create your own thing.
You didn't have, you know, these sort of tentacles coming down telling you, oh,
you can't interview that person.
Yeah.
That, that, that allowed you to just talk to the people that you found
interesting.
Well, you happen to be interested in interesting shit.
Yeah.
But in the beginning, nobody wanted anything to do with it.
That's what's hilarious.
Like my agent in the beginning didn't want to have anything to do with this
podcast.
They didn't want, they were like, what are you wasting your time?
Like, right.
Because back then, like 2000 people were watching or listening.
It was nobody's listening.
Yeah.
I remember with mine, I was trying to tell people, hey, this is going to be a
thing.
I know they're like, get the fuck out of here.
We're busy with movies, kid.
They were busy.
Yeah.
So luckily in the beginning when I maybe could have used a little help getting
guests or doing
things or getting advertisement or something like that, they didn't get
involved because
if somebody got involved, they would have definitely told me to not do things
that have turned out to be very successful.
Like I'm sure they would have told me to not interview controversial people or
not interview people that you're going to get criticized for specific topics or,
you know, specific people that are writing books that may, you know, ruffle a
bunch of people's feathers.
And I want to know what they think.
I want to know why they think the way they think.
I want to ask them questions.
Yeah.
And there's a lot of people that don't think you should do that.
And, you know, and they'll, they'll be the gatekeepers to your, the information
that you take in and the conversations that you have and you distribute.
And it's not good.
That's not like, if you talk to someone and it was a mistake, well, now, you
know, but at least, you know, you talk to them.
If someone tells you it's a mistake to talk to someone, but you want to talk to
them and then you start thinking, oh, let me run it by Mike and the team.
And then the team will sit around and think about their mortgage.
They sit around and think about whether or not you could get in trouble.
And that could really, that could eventually lead to them having a decrease in
their income.
And then they start to fucking play it safe.
Yeah.
I've seen that, man.
I've seen that with standups.
I've seen that with people.
Like there's people that, you know, they have podcasts and they have a bunch of
people that are there at the studio telling them to talk about different things,
telling them to pick different subjects.
Telling them, let's move on.
Like I've seen that.
I've seen in the middle of a podcast, someone would say, let's, let's move on.
You guys are on this subject.
Let's move on.
Who the fuck are you?
Let's move on.
Some, some guy standing on the outside that gets some sneaky paycheck that he
doesn't really deserve is now saying, let's move on.
Holding a clipboard as if it like, like, what are you doing?
Get the fuck out of here.
It's two people talking.
And if they decide to move on, they'll move on.
But people that like, bring up this, bring up that.
Like, bring up this.
Who are you?
Why are you here?
But that's what they do.
I know.
If you've ever gone to like, I went to, I did, what's that guy's name?
The, the sports guy, Bill Simmons.
I did his show on HBO.
He's a great guy.
Really interesting guy.
And I love the way he does his podcast.
But I did his HBO show, dude.
And you're surrounded by people.
It's me and him sitting in the booth just like this, but there's fucking people
there.
And there's people there.
And there's people walking around the set.
It's distracting.
And there's people standing around.
They got notes and clipboards and there's camera people everywhere.
You're like, what?
This is not necessary.
Yeah.
You have a hundred people here.
Yeah.
Or 20.
Yeah.
You have 20 people here.
You need one.
You need one person.
And then managing all of those people becomes a bigger priority than actually
the content.
And then you have inter office politics take place.
Yeah.
You have relationships with people.
I mean, not, not even, I don't mean relationships like boy, girl, boy, boy,
girl, girl.
I mean like.
Boss.
Friends.
Yeah.
And then weirdness.
Egos.
Egos.
Yes.
Then they're mad at the talent because the talent is getting more attention
than they are.
Blah.
Blah.
Yeah.
No one would have ever let me do this show.
They would have never.
Yeah.
No one would have ever let me.
Yeah.
And it's not by design that I did it this way.
It's not like I see what they don't see and I'm going to do this.
It's like, I didn't want to listen.
It's like, get out of here.
Fuck off.
I'm going to do what I want to do.
Where do you, you had that confidence in, and just straight up sort of, just
sort of,
you didn't give a fuck and you just did it.
Yeah.
Where do you think that came from?
How do you think?
Fear factor money.
Right.
That helped.
I had a little bit of fear factor money in the bank.
Uh huh.
Where I'm like, if this shit completely hits the fan, you know, I can just sort
of live
off of that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also I don't, I've never been very good with the whole boss, someone
telling you what
to do.
If I did that, if I was good with that, I would never become a standup.
I would have never done most of the things that I've done.
And I certainly would have, no, no, thank you.
I'm good.
I certainly would have never been able to do the podcast this way.
If I brought people aboard and there was a certain point in time where people,
we were
talking about it before the show, that people did want to come on board.
And then I'd started getting offers.
I've had offers where people wanted to buy half the podcast and like pretty
generous amounts
of money.
Yeah.
And I was like, this is not, I don't think this is wise.
This is not wise.
Yeah.
This is going to get weird.
Spotify was the first offer where they came around.
They said, we don't want you to do anything different.
We just want to license the show.
How do you decide what you're going to ask people?
You just go on with the flow.
Do you research on stuff?
Cause I, I, I, I really loved some of the questions you asked Kanye.
I'm trying to remember what they were, but I mean, do you sort of plan it in
advance
or are you kind of just sort of cause well with Kanye, we had talked about
doing a podcast
for a long time, but I was worried that he was going to come off.
I remember your first question was, why do you want to do this?
Right?
I just thought he was running for president.
Yeah.
That was such a great question.
Cause it's like, you know, why do you want to run for president?
Everybody would ask that question.
Yeah.
But it was just, it was just right into it.
It was just great.
Well, I'm a fan of his music.
I've always been a fan of his music.
And I think that the, the way he communicates his sort of manic style of
thinking and constantly
creating and doing things.
It's why he's so successful.
I mean, that's the, this, this like stream of consciousness that he has is also
why he's
so prolific as an artist.
Like, I mean, he is all of his albums are good.
He doesn't have a dud, you know, you, you go from one album to the next and
they're all
like, he's got this stream of creative ideas that are constantly running
through his head.
And he talks sometimes in these streams where they don't end.
He goes from one subject to the next subject.
And so I was curious as to like how I was going to talk to him.
And I wanted to make sure that we can do it in a way where other people are
going to appreciate
there's a great value in the way he thinks.
And then if you get it in sound bites or you get it in some weird thing where
he says something
and people get mad at him and they boom or something like that.
Like you're missing who he really is, who he really is, is him all day.
It's not him in this 30 second chunk where you don't like what he said.
Guess what?
He probably doesn't like what he said either.
Okay.
He's fucking streaming.
He's just going, he's running with these thoughts and ideas.
But that's also why he can boil those thoughts and ideas down these amazing
fucking songs.
You know, like this is, that's what I wanted to get out of him while we were
talking because
people were trying to medicate him and people were trying to, and I'm like, I
don't, I don't,
I, if you have a choice between this medicated, overweight Kanye who doesn't
get anything done
or manic, crazy Kanye.
He says wild shit.
You want manic, crazy Kanye.
Cause manic, crazy Kanye is the one who makes amazing music.
And I've been around him and he's a nice guy, man.
He's a really genuinely nice guy.
And when the cameras are off, same thing.
He's a nice guy with all the staff and everybody.
He's cool.
Yeah.
Like he's genuinely cool.
But whatever you want to call mental illness, that's the problem.
It's like when you call it mental illness, well, you got to give it medicine.
He's got mental illness.
You got to give him medicine.
Do you really?
Because that mental illness is making some pretty amazing shit.
Right.
Like, look at his fucking, look at his catalog.
Look at all the music he's made.
Yeah.
That's all because of mental illness.
No.
Whatever you call an illness is a particular style of thinking that he has.
That's sort of non-linear and it's, it's wild and it's all over the place, but
it's also very focused.
I found in that interview though, that, you know, I've seen him interviewed
quite a bit, but that was,
that was one where everything he said made a lot of sense.
He's certainly done a lot of, put a lot of thought into a lot of the stuff he
was talking about with everything from,
you know, reorganizing the way civilization works.
I mean, it takes a little bit of thinking to come up with how to reorganize the
entire way civilization works.
But that was one of the things that I thought was really good about the
interviews.
You do get a chance to see, like, this is not just a crazy person who buys his
own bullshit.
And by the way, when he's like the braggy stuff that he kind of does, talks
about himself.
First of all, he's being honest about where he is.
He's sort of reaffirming who he is, but also he jokes around.
Like he was joking around about it outside.
He was showing us this video that he had made for his wife, for his wife's
birthday.
And it was really emotional, it was very beautiful because he made a hologram
of her dad.
And he wrote the script for all this.
Oh, he did, wow.
Yeah, and he wrote the script for all the things that the hologram was telling
her.
It's really intense.
And, you know, you can do that now.
Like, they can take your voice.
And for you and I, it would be easy for them to do it because there's hours and
hours and hours of us talking.
So they would take this voice.
God, can you imagine what they could do?
They already have.
They used me as an example for one of these companies in Canada.
They used me as an example for how well this deep fake technology works because
there's 1500 fucking plus podcasts in me that are three hours long.
So you take these sounds that come out of my mouth and then you can make me say
anything.
Yeah.
Literally anything.
Because every noise that I'm capable of making, I've made, right?
So you use this catalog of sounds that my voice can make.
And that's what he also did with that hologram.
Yeah.
Because, you know, Robert Kardashian, there's all the cases and all the
different times he's been interviewed on television.
There's a great catalog of his voice and you can have him speak to her.
Yeah.
But even in then, like he has him say, you know, and you're genius, genius
husband.
But he was laughing when he said it and showed it to us.
He was laughing.
He thought it was funny that he had them.
Yeah.
He had Robert Kardashian call him a genius, amazing genius husband.
Like he thought it was funny.
Like he's not just, it's not just ego.
It's not just crazy.
It's also there's brilliance there.
He's a complicated person.
It's nice to hear that because like, you know, it's interesting.
I don't, you know, how the media can sort of reframe a person.
Right.
And they take away nuance.
Yeah.
People are nuanced, man.
People are really complicated.
You decide to decide that a person is this person because of one sentence they
said one time.
Or because of one thing that they did where they maybe wish they didn't.
Or because of one concert they did where people booed them or whatever you pick
about Kanye.
That people decide he's this.
People just love to put someone in a box and categorize them and just decide
that they want to dismiss them.
And this is the problem with cancel culture, right?
And it's like we have this idea of things where we want to boil them down to
almost a tweet.
You know, things that are like enormously complicated.
A man who's lived 40 plus years of his life and in that life has experienced
heartbreak and sorrow and success and failure and friendship and betrayal and
all these different things.
And all the creative passions that you've poured out into your work and they
want to just boil you down to a sentence or two.
And it's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy for the person doing that and trying to boil someone down.
It's crazy for people to read it and accept it.
It's so negative.
It's one of the most negative things about social media is that we want to
categorize someone by individual tweets or individual statements.
People are fucking immensely complex.
Immensely complex.
And to deny that to deny that is it's it's very disingenuous.
It's dishonest.
It's bad for our understanding of us.
It's bad for our understanding of who we are personally as a human.
When someone decides to define you based on a sentence or call you Tom Green is
just a bum bum bum bum bum bum.
And then you read it you're like oh shit I am.
Yeah.
Like we were talking about comments.
And then you start to believe it.
Well that's why the comments are negative.
You know when you're reading comments.
You're reading one person's typed out thing that's negative about you and you're
saying like oh I can't help myself.
Yeah.
That that is all up.
There's a real issue with the way human beings are taking in other people's
opinions.
It's not that there's anything wrong with taking in people's opinions but
people's opinions are supposed to be shared like this.
Like you and I are sharing opinions.
Like you tell me something and I tell you something and I say did you mean this?
And you're like no no I meant that.
And you're like oh okay.
Oh so you think that.
And you're like yeah.
And then we're like oh.
Then we get each other.
We're talking.
But it's an exchange.
It's very rare that you can just nail something with a sentence or two.
And also there's not you're not limited by time as in normal television.
There's oh we've got seven minutes before the commercial break so we got to get
to this and this and this and this.
And then you never really end up talking about anything.
That's been the bit the best part about podcasting without a boss is that no
one has ever told me like it has to be 45 minutes long.
It has to be in here and let's edit out the parts that weren't as good.
Let's chop this up and make that like.
Why?
Yeah.
Why?
So are you going to go back to LA at all?
Are you going to keep the studio there or two?
I'm going to fly over it in a plane when it's on fire.
You're not going to web with a comedy story.
When Gavin Newsom donate, when he detonates the nuclear weapon that he has
under his desk.
What about stand up?
Because they decide that they're going to kick him out of office.
You missed the comedy store?
He's going to have a suicide vest on.
Yeah, I do miss the comedy store.
But the comedy store is not the comedy store anymore.
It's not open.
Right.
Right.
But when it opens up again, you're going to.
If.
If is the word.
LA is on a 10 p.m. curfew now.
You know why?
Because COVID has a betty-bye time.
COVID after 10 p.m., it comes out and it attacks people.
But before 10 p.m., we're fine.
But we've got a vaccine coming, right?
When the vaccine next year, it'll open up again.
Why 10 p.m.?
That's so arbitrary.
Are you telling me you can't catch COVID between 6 and 10?
Like there's going to be some sort of a thing that happens.
After 10, people are more vulnerable.
They get drunk and put your guard down.
It's nonsense, man.
It's nonsense.
These fucking assholes are imposing rules on people that close their businesses
down.
They're still drinking on the show.
For no reason.
You want to drink?
Sure.
That's what you want?
Okay.
I'll have one.
Am I getting you nervous?
All this crazy talk of COVID?
No, you just mentioned alcohol and I thought, hey, you're still drinking on the
show?
Yeah, we can have some booze, sort of.
Jamie, go.
Let's get us some whiskey.
You know?
Some Texas whiskey.
And some glasses.
No ice.
We're going like men today.
No ice.
Fuck it.
What kind of whiskey are you drinking here in Texas?
Whatever we have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have a favorite?
I've been drinking Bushmills.
That's good stuff.
I like Buffalo Trace.
Oh, yeah.
We had that last time.
Two reasons.
It's a sponsor and they've been around since before America started.
Ah, okay.
They've been around since 1773.
I see.
And it's really good.
They won like whiskey maker of the year 2020.
Yeah.
Bushmills is my grandfather's Irish heritage.
That's real shit.
Northern Ireland.
So, you know.
My friend Josh Barnett has a great whiskey as well.
God damn it.
I don't have a bottle here.
I'm trying to remember the name of it.
It's like War Master.
It's like a smoky whiskey.
It's very good.
He brought it last time he was on the podcast.
Yeah.
I drink in Scotch too.
Balvini Scotch.
I like.
So you're getting hammered out there in the woods by yourself.
In the woods, I don't have the Balvini.
In the woods, I got a lot of mini bottles, like airplane bottles.
Oh.
I got a fridge full of those.
Do you?
Why don't you just have a big bottle and glass?
Because once you open it, you know, you don't really want to open a bottle of
booze in your van when you're driving around.
Like this?
So you just drink them one at a time and then you never have an open container
and that's my idea I came up with.
Oh, that's right.
Like you can't have an open container in a car, right?
Yeah, exactly.
Is that the deal?
Yeah, exactly.
So I just got a bunch of little ones that drink.
Quite smart, sir.
That's a healthy pour, my friend.
Salute, my brother.
Thank you.
Come on, man.
We're in Texas.
This is Still Austin.
Straight bourbon whiskey.
Local stuff.
Oh.
Legit, right?
Very nice, yeah.
Woo!
Bourbon.
That's this.
I don't drink alone.
That's corn, right?
Bourbon is corn?
Yep.
I don't drink alone.
You don't?
No.
No, I'm a social drinker.
I don't think I ever drink alone.
I smoke weed alone, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I like to do that before I write.
Yeah.
Yeah, I heard Carlin talk about that.
I mean, Red or something.
He talked about how he, let me get this right.
I get it.
He smokes.
He wrote first.
And then he would write to punch it up.
He smokes.
And then polish.
One, he would drink.
And then he would drink when he was coming up with ideas.
And then he would polish it up with some weed, I think.
Oh, really?
Or maybe it was the other way around.
But yeah.
He definitely would punch it up with pot, he said.
He would smoke pot and then punch up the material.
It's interesting, like how are you supposed to write totally straight, you know?
I write in the morning a lot.
Yeah.
Totally straight.
Right.
Because you kind of got that energy.
But a lot of times it's just a scaffolding.
Just a framework.
And then pot's like, I got an idea.
And then I smoke the weed and the weed's like, I got an idea.
I feel like it's cheating sometimes.
Because the ideas aren't really mine.
They're the weed's ideas.
The weed's like, listen, listen.
No, it's just relaxing your mind and taking you away from your distractions and
allowing
you to just kind of relax and think of things that you might not have thought
of if you were
distracted by all the seriousness of life, right?
I think it's more complicated than that.
I think your body is interacting with molecules that it doesn't come in contact
with in the regular
world.
And these molecules have a spiritual connection to the universe that you're not
able to access
without them.
That's what I really believe.
Wait, say that again.
I think the molecules of marijuana in particular, when you smoke pot and you
just get this, there's
a connection that you get with the universe that's not available when you're
sober.
Right.
When you're sober, I think that your feelings are in some ways deadened.
They're deadened by an accumulation of life experience and overwhelming burden
of your existence and your
friends and your bills and your obligations and your life.
There's all these things going on and all these things sort of like squash and
deaden your sensitivity.
Right.
And then, and then everything just, everything opens up and then you have
access to thoughts
and ideas and feelings that you're just not available without the weed.
Right.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's a, it's a beautiful thing.
That's a beautiful thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember the first time I, I was on your show.
Um, but how many years ago was that at your old house?
Wow.
I think that's back in the day.
We were pretty, I think we were pretty high for that one.
I think we got too high a lot of times for those shows.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
And you noticed the last time I was here, I was like, Oh, I don't really like
to smoke
when I did the thing.
Cause I, I kind of get quiet, you know, get nervous.
Yeah.
We were talking about the election yesterday and I got, I did it with Donnell
and then Dave
Chappelle come on and I got way too high.
I'm trying to think of what I really think about the election while I'm doing
it.
Yeah.
Like on one hand, I'm like, I hope people are more relaxed.
Like the people that hated Trump.
I hope that they're more relaxed and I hope everybody just like, maybe, maybe
the country
can heal together.
But the other side, like the people that think that Trump got robbed, like they're
angry.
And it's like, it's almost like people are more separated than ever before.
And you know, and there's a lot of people that like, there was no election
interference.
There was no election fraud.
I'm like, I think there's always election fraud.
Always.
The question is how much of it is there?
Yeah.
If you're dealing with hundreds of thousands of workers, like we were talking
about it yesterday.
Like what is the number of election fraud?
Is it, what's the percentage?
It's not zero.
Is it more than zero?
Most people think it's more than zero.
Yes.
Like, so what's the number?
Is it only like a thousand episodes of fraud in the whole country over millions
and millions
and millions of votes?
And it's really non, you know, in terms of like the overall effect it's, it's,
it's quite
possibly it's that.
Yeah.
In my opinion.
I don't, I don't know.
I mean, I just, I haven't done anything to research it.
So I wouldn't be able to tell you for sure, but I just worry about the state of
the country
in terms of like this polarization between the two sides, the red versus the
blue.
Cause I think it's mostly bullshit.
I think mostly people are just Americans and we need to just like whoever's in
office.
Now let's just like, let's support them and hope they do the best.
Cause one of the things we were saying yesterday was that I feel like when
Trump was in office,
people literally wanted the economy to tank so that he would be a loser.
They wanted things to go bad cause they didn't want him to do well.
They would rat.
Like I was saying, if you gave a lot of hardcore people that were Trump haters,
the choice,
would you rather have the country do fantastic and have Trump's, all of his
ideas turn out
to be the best for our, our culture, our economy, joblessness, everything.
Everything's doing great, but he's bragging.
He's on TV.
Or would you rather have everything tank and he goes to jail?
Fuck him.
Put him in jail.
I think there's a lot of people that would say that they would rather the
economy go to shit.
And Trump wound up getting put in jail and removed from office.
Then him being a winner and being successful.
It's very strange because he's such a polarizing figure.
That we, we would rather him fail.
And then the United States, not we, some people would rather him fail.
And the United States be in a real bad situation than him kick ass and do
amazing.
The United States booming.
But this asshole that you hate is like the hero.
What you do here is amazing because you have this sort of very broad audience
of people on both sides on your show.
And you have found a way to, I guess, not polarize it so badly that half the
people don't want to pay attention anymore.
I don't think we do have two sides.
You don't?
I think it's a lie.
I think we have America.
Right.
I think we have people.
You know what we were saying?
That somebody wanted to write something about you.
Like a negative comment about you on a YouTube video.
I like that, by the way.
You don't have two sides.
I like that.
Because I've been thinking a lot about that lately.
Because I've been, I've been, you know, I don't know if you can see in some of
the videos.
I got my U.S. citizenship last year.
I think I told you that before.
Yay.
Yeah.
Welcome aboard.
They let me in.
Woo!
After 20 years.
But so, you know, I got my U.S. flag that I hang from my awning in my videos.
Beautiful.
It's a beautiful thing.
You're out there.
And part of what I've been doing with, you know, my photos and my podcast and
my traveling
is I really, part of what it is, is I just want to show my little audience at
this time
that's tuning in, I want to show them how much there is to celebrate in this
country.
It's beautiful out there.
Yeah.
It's so beautiful.
It's rare, too.
People don't go out there, so it's beautiful.
Yeah.
I can't even believe it.
Anyways, so, you know, I'm flying the flag.
I'm very proud to be an American.
Right?
I am very proud to be an American.
I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.
Right?
Right?
Yeah.
I am.
And I'm also proud to be Canadian.
I was getting a little grief.
Save that.
Save that.
You were doing great to that point.
You'll notice I put a little Canada sticker on them.
I've said in Canada that I think countries are bullshit.
I think you guys are basically Northern Americans.
I got mad.
I go, we're all North America.
Yeah.
You go, you're Canada.
I go, this is no different to me than being from fucking South Dakota.
Come on.
Yeah.
We're all humans on Earth.
I agree with that.
This is nonsense.
Yeah.
You just have a different king.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting because, you know, I, you know, everybody on social media has
to kind of, you know, if you're putting information out there, you end up now
having to deal with getting drawn into this argument, which is frustrating to
someone like me, because, you know, I just want to take some cool pictures and
tell some jokes and have some fun.
And all of a sudden, oh, I said something that indicated I believe this or that
and everyone's mad at you.
So, I mean, I find it pretty incredible how you've found a way of navigating
that.
Well, I don't know how I did it.
I mean, I think being honest is one of them.
And then also, I don't believe in the two sides.
I share a lot of opinions from both sides.
Like, I do not have an ideology that is neatly tucked into the left or the
right.
Well, didn't you endorse Bernie?
Yeah.
I love, I love all of his ideas about helping community.
And I think this is a problem.
This is a problem that people that think of themselves as right wing don't,
they don't want to look at the good aspects of someone from the left.
Someone from the left like Bernie, first of all, he wants to absolve people of
student debt.
I think if it's possible to spend trillions of dollars in these never ending
wars, it's also possible to absolve people of student debt.
I think getting people in debt for hundreds of thousands of dollars when you're
fucking 17 is crazy.
Your brain is, when I was 17, I was a wild person.
I was barely a man.
I was, I was crazy.
And for 17, 18 years old, to have a person like me and give them, saddle them
down with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt that's going to follow them
to their grave is crazy.
And that's a giant percentage of our population.
I don't know what it is, but millions of people are saddled down with that kind
of debt.
Right.
It's too much money and it's crazy and it doesn't make any sense.
Education could be something that we make for free.
I think we can use our tax money in better ways that benefit the community as a
whole.
And I think one of them is by giving people the access to education where it
doesn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Right.
And I think we can do that.
That's what it's like in Canada.
That is a left wing perspective, right?
It is, yeah.
But I also like guns and I think you should have guns.
Right.
And I think I'm a firm supporter of the Second Amendment because I know crazy
people.
And there's people that are bad people.
They're violent and they're broken and they want to hurt other people.
And I think you should be able to protect your family.
Yeah.
And I think you should be able to protect the loved ones that you have nearby
you.
And this is a real situation that comes up.
We wish it didn't.
Everybody that has a gun hopes they go to their grave and never have to pull
the trigger on a person.
Yeah.
But guess what?
Better to have it and not to need it than to need it and not to have it.
Absolutely.
Now we can pretend all day that the world's a perfect place and you're never
going to need a gun.
But you and I both know that's horse shit.
Yeah.
Right?
So that's an opinion I share on the right.
I'm a firm believer in the Second Amendment.
Yeah.
And then you get the First Amendment.
I would think freedom of expression and freedom of speech is one of the most
liberal core tenets that you could ever ascribe to that side.
Like the left has always been pro First Amendment.
The ACLU literally started out defending fucking Nazis.
Right?
Like saying that like you have to defend everyone's ability to express
themselves.
Even if their beliefs are abhorrent.
Even if they're the most disgusting beliefs in the world.
Your ability to express yourself should be a part of being an American.
And the way we combat bad speech is not by silencing people.
It's by better speech and more speech.
And that's how we've figured out the way human beings interact with each other
from the jump, from the beginning of this country.
And so that right there is sort of like what we were talking about earlier when
we were talking about how you had the confidence and autonomy with your show to
do what you want to do and what you believe.
Politically, that's what you've also done too.
You know?
You like this.
You like that.
These are things that are on opposite ends.
Why do these issues get divided?
Because people get scared.
So clearly divided where it's like, well, I can't want healthcare and a shotgun.
Right.
Come on.
I kind of like like not having to worry about getting sick and also I want to
go hunting.
I mean, what's the fucking deal?
You know?
I can't.
100%.
Right.
I couldn't agree with you more.
And because you had the confidence and autonomy to be able to just say it
because you didn't have all those people around with the clipboards and shit
saying, well, you better not say that because we're on this channel or that
channel and this is our message here.
That's a lot of it, right?
It's also that I don't need a job.
I don't need.
I think one of the things and you could speak to this, right?
When you're working in Hollywood, you're always wanting to make sure that you're
not saying anything that's going to exclude you from being hired.
Yeah.
Right.
Like if you want to work in television, you must be liberal.
Yeah.
You must.
Or you keep your fucking mouth shut.
Yeah.
If you want to get a job on television, like you don't really have many, you
can't be a right wing pundit on the side and also work on a sitcom.
Mm-hmm.
They don't want you.
Right?
Right.
Or can you be down the middle though?
Like you're down the middle, right?
You're not a right wing pundit.
You're not a left wing guy.
Can you be down the middle?
Maybe, but even then they'll be upset at you.
So even if you say one thing that is contrary to what they believe and then you're
in trouble as well.
You can be.
Yeah, you can be.
Yeah.
I mean, it really depends on how open-minded the people and how desperate the
people are that are hiring you.
Like people get desperate.
They get panicky.
You know, they feel like people get attacked for almost nothing and then they
fire them, you know, because they don't want blowback.
This is a big part of the whole Hollywood experience now.
Like who was it?
It wasn't Natalie Portman.
Who was the actress that got in trouble because she played in witches?
They were mad at her because she played a witch with three fingers.
Like literally, who is it?
It's a new movie.
It's so dumb.
She apologized.
She literally had to apologize.
Why?
Ann Hathaway, thank you.
Why?
Because?
It's in the book.
The original book.
Right.
Described this witch.
Mm-hmm.
Here it is.
Ann Hathaway apologizes for a portrayal of limb difference.
Ann Hathaway has issued an apology for the pain caused to people with limb
differences by her character in HBO Max movie The Witches.
Yeah.
Based on the Roald Dahl adaptation, Hathaway portrays the evil grand high witch
who has three fingers on each hand that resemble the congenital disorder, I don't
know what that is.
It's a hard word.
It's a hard word.
Ectrodactyly.
It's an impossible word to say.
Ectrodactyly.
It's an impossible word to say.
Ectrodactyly.
Is that it, Jim?
That word is impossible to say.
Yeah.
They need to come up with an easier word for that.
It's crazy.
People are looking for things to be offended by.
Yeah.
Listen.
This is...
Anne Hathaway should have said, "I played a witch."
Yeah.
That witch had three fingers.
Yeah.
I mean, no offense to you.
Yeah.
It's like...
No need to apologize.
And if you want an apology from that, you're probably a fucking asshole.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'm sorry if you have three fingers.
I mean, I'm sorry if you have a disease that resembles that.
There may be some benefits to that, too.
I don't know what they would be, but...
What would they be?
So that was...
We could probably try to come up with...
We could probably try to come up with some funny benefits to that.
That's her character, Jamie?
Yeah.
Listen, I sort of understand what it's like when you have something like that.
You know, because I have one testicle, right?
So, you know, people will sometimes, like, make a joke about that.
And I'll go, I'll feel like, "Oh."
You know, sorry.
Because you have one testicle.
Yeah, because I had the testicular cancer, right?
Yeah.
Someone will make a joke about, "Ah," you know.
And then I'll be like, "Oh, geez."
Right.
It's not that fun, you know, having surgery and having one of your testicles.
Right, right.
Sorry.
I'm not trying to bring the move down here, Joe.
But I'm just saying, so it's like what happens now is the internet...
Cheers.
The internet sort of now, one person with three fingers is, you know, obviously
saddened by that.
It might not even be real.
It might be someone looks at her and goes, "You know what?
I think she should apologize for people that don't have all their fingers."
And they get mad.
It might be someone with five fingers that's saying this.
Exactly.
Someone with five fingers assumes the three-fingered person is offended.
Tweets it.
Exactly.
And then the people with the clipboards at the office have to react.
We're going to get canceled.
And then there's a retraction statement from Anne Hathaway.
Meanwhile, it's actually probably good for the movie.
Yeah.
Right?
Because now people...
I heard about it from my mom because my mom recommended it to my daughter.
She's like, "I think they would enjoy this movie."
Mm-hmm.
Now, if they'd just given her 17 fingers or like 10 fingers...
Right.
No one's got that.
Right.
So no one would have been offended.
Right.
And that would have been weird anyways.
Like a fucking...
Like a garden rake.
Yeah.
10 fingers on each hand.
Yeah.
No one's offended.
No one.
There's no condition where you've got 10 fingers on each hand.
Right.
It's too few that people get upset.
Right.
And now, are we going to get in trouble for sort of giggling about this?
I don't know.
Like...
What if you have three arms on each side?
Right.
Would people who worship Shiva get upset at you?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Which is very...
What is...
I love the presence of all of this...
Ganesh.
Remover of obstacles.
Is that what...
Yeah.
What's up, Jamie?
I'm reading an article talking to someone that seems like they were on the
upset side.
It says that...
It seems like they're more mad that the character has this disability and they're
also a villain.
Not just that they have the disability.
It's that they made them bad.
In quotes.
Well, isn't the character like not a human?
It's a witch.
Yeah.
They have fucked up teeth and they're bald and people are mad that they're bald
also.
Oh, me too.
So...
I forgot.
I'm mad now.
I'm bald.
The reason I brought up...
I'm pissed.
No, Tom.
It's not right.
Oh, really?
It's rude.
I am bald.
Yeah.
And I am mad.
Anne Hathaway's bald in that movie?
Fuck her.
Yeah.
You think it's funny being bald?
Do you get mad about it?
No.
No.
Not at all.
You don't give a fuck?
No.
I'm flat back in my head.
She's kind of hot as a bald chick.
I dated a bald chick when I first moved to LA.
She was a singer from Norway.
You got like a good bald head though.
Thank you.
Not everybody does.
Not everybody does.
No.
There's a lot of people with weird heads.
You got a good bald head.
It's almost like...
It's supposed to be bald.
It's almost...
Yeah.
If you had a full head of hair, you'd almost be better off to shave it.
It's rude.
Oh, I tell you right now...
Did you ever think about when you had perfect...
You know, I should have shaved it.
It looks better bald.
Well, I do think that back when I was really freaking out that I was losing my
hair, I should
have shaved my head early on.
But I was really worried that I would never get work.
Did you freak out when...
Yeah.
I got hair transplants.
I used Minoxidil.
I did the whole thing.
I have a stupid scar in the back of my head.
Like a big smile.
Wow.
From hair transplants from the 90s.
Wow.
I didn't show...
I was all of a sudden working and I was like, "Oh my God, my hair is falling
out.
Fuck.
What am I going to do?"
And I was thinking, "I got to do everything I can to keep working."
Because all of a sudden, I was making all this money I was never making before.
I was on television and...
You need that TV hair.
Yeah.
You need TV hair.
And then once I shaved my head, I was like, "Oh my God, this is the best thing
ever."
Right.
Like, I don't have to ever go to a barber.
I just...
Every couple of days, they go...
Yeah.
I hit it with the buzzers.
And then I'm good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Well, mine's thinning, you know, so...
You gonna shave that bitch?
What are you gonna do?
I don't know.
It's getting a little crazy over here.
But you kind of look good as like a wild, crazy man with the hair all fucked up.
It's the longest my hair's been a while, but...
I like it.
I like your hair like that.
It's getting a little crazy.
You can like get by with your hair all fucked up.
You look good with like, as a guy who has like a sock hat, who takes it off and
steps into
the restaurant on a cold day and sits near the fireplace with all fucked up
hair.
It's kind of good.
It works.
I like having the headphones on.
I like having the headphones on.
I made a choice not to put them on earlier because I thought, oh...
Well, you had your cowboy hat on.
Yeah, but...
But this is...
It's better.
I like this.
It locks you in.
Like people always say, well, you're right across from someone.
Why do you wear headphones?
The reason why is that it locks you 100% in the conversation and you're really
aware
of talking over each other, which everyone has a tendency to do.
I was conscious of it, but I've, you know, done enough of this over the years.
I knew to play the mic right, but I was missing this part of it.
Yeah, you know what...
Like when people don't want to wear the headphones, I'm always like, hmm.
Okay.
I did want to wear them, but I also didn't want to take off my cowboy hat right
away.
It's a beautiful hat.
Because we're in Austin.
We're in Texas.
And you've been wearing that around.
I saw your videos.
You see this dust on it, you know?
It's my dusty hat.
It's real dust.
You earned it.
I got this at the Stetson factory about five years ago, and it's a real Texas
hat.
So, you know, I wanted to...
It's a John B. Stetson.
It's a real deal.
I debated not wearing it when I came in because I thought, oh, why can't I get
a cowboy hat on?
You know, but then I thought, you know, shit, we're in Austin.
You know, I got to honor your move to Austin.
We're my frigging Stetson.
God damn it.
Right?
Cheers.
Cheers, my friend.
Excuse my language.
Sorry.
13 Silver Dollars by Coulter Wall.
Talks about having a John B. Stetson.
Wakes up in the snow in a ditch.
I got my health, my John B. Stetson.
Got me a bottle full of baby's bluebird wine.
And I left my stash somewhere down in Preston, along with 13 Silver Dollars in
my mind.
Nice.
You ever heard of Coulter Wall?
I have.
I've not.
We'll play some after the show.
Oh, man.
What?
He's Canadian.
That's right.
He's Canadian.
Yeah.
Jamie turned me on to him.
Jamie is my source because I'm an old man and Jamie's a younger man.
Jamie turns me on to good music.
Oh, Coulter Wall.
It's a singer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was beautiful.
Poetry.
Yeah.
Dude, he's a guy that...
Like a Leonard Cohen, who's also Canadian.
He was 21 and he has this song called Kate McKinnon and you listen to it and
you would swear
to God is an 80-year-old man who's been drinking and smoking his whole life.
It literally doesn't make any sense.
Like you hear the song and you're like, "What the fuck?
I wish we could play it."
I know.
That's him.
Oh, young guy, huh?
Yeah.
But here's...
Oh, okay, okay.
Cool, cool, cool.
Wanna hear something crazy?
I feel better about not having heard of him.
I thought he was like some classic Canadian artist that has been around for a
hundred years.
Oh, no, no, no.
Where's...
How did that...
But now I'm glad that you're showing me this guy.
Wanna hear how authentic this cat is?
I love this.
Yes.
We tried to get him on the show.
Uh-huh.
We contacted his agent.
This is what the agent said.
He works as a ranch hand in Texas over the summer.
Damn.
And when he's done, we'll get a hold of you.
I bet he's from Calgary.
He's from Alberta.
Alberta, yeah.
Calgary, Alberta.
Because that's where we got...
Alberta, Canada is like the Texas of Canada, right?
Yeah.
We've got this Calgary Stampede.
And so I was right.
Yeah.
He's a cowboy.
A Canadian cowboy.
Shout out to my friend John and Jen.
My friends John and Jen live up there.
Yeah, Alberta.
That's cool.
I love Alberta.
That's great.
Saskatchewan.
There he is.
Oh, wow.
He's from Swift Current.
You know what?
That's cool.
I'm from Swift Current, Saskatchewan.
He's only 25 now.
My grandparents met in Swift Current, Saskatchewan on my father's side.
Really?
It's a tiny little place.
How'd they meet?
I don't know that story.
I think everybody knew everybody in Swift Current back in the...
It was probably 20 people living there at the time, but...
So this guy comes down to Texas in the summer and he works as a ranch hand all
summer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they're like, he's not going to be done anytime soon.
This is literally like you try to get in touch with them for publicity.
We were blowing him up.
I blew him up on Instagram.
When Donald Trump asked me to host a podcast with him and Joe Biden, I put it
on my Instagram
and with his tweet and Coulter Wall's lyrics for The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie.
I put a quote from one of his lyrics and I just threw it up there.
Oh, it was his lyric.
Left it right there.
Yeah.
Just so people would listen to the song.
So when an up-and-coming artist...
Is he an up-and-coming artist?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
When an up-and-coming artist says they can't come on the Joe Rogan Experience,
the biggest
podcast in all of the world.
That must just make you want him to come on the show so much more.
No!
That must make you like him so much more, though.
I appreciate him.
He's like, man, he's got the same fucking...
No, listen.
I love his music, but I love authenticity.
Right.
So if that's who he is...
He's literally a ranch hand.
He doesn't have time.
He's tending to the cattle.
Like, look, whenever he wants to, he can come here.
This is like, yeah, come on.
Have some more, baby.
Let's do it.
Like, Dave Chappelle came on yesterday.
Dave Chappelle and I have been friends since...
Oh, really?
Dave was here yesterday?
Yeah.
Wow.
I've never met Dave Chappelle.
But he's always like, "Joe, eventually I'm gonna come on your show.
Eventually."
Was that the first time he was on?
Yeah.
And he came on because Donnell was here and he just dropped in and hung out for,
what
was it, like an hour?
Yeah.
And then we're eventually...
I shouldn't probably say this on the show, but I'm gonna anyway because we've
been drinking.
Yeah.
Dave and I are gonna do a residence here.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're gonna do a bunch of shows here.
Oh, really?
Could I do a spot?
Could I come and do five minutes or something?
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Fuck yeah.
I would love to do that.
I've never met Dave.
He's a great guy.
You'd love him.
I'd love to meet him.
He's super genuine.
Yeah.
He's...
He's...
There's no bullshit with him.
He's right there.
He's right there with you.
But that's the same thing.
Like, I'm like, whenever you're ready, I'm here.
You know, like the Kanye West thing is like, it was almost the opposite.
I was like, I like him too much.
I don't want to fuck him up.
I don't want him to...
Like, he was like...
When the first time he wanted to come on the podcast, it was he was recently unmedicated.
Like, he had done this concert where he said he supported Donald Trump, and
everybody booed
him, and the next thing you know, he's in a mental institution.
Remember that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
He was on...
That's concert.
Yeah.
And then...
A while after that, he said he wanted to...
He wanted to...
He wanted to talk about things, but nobody wanted to do it.
Or people were afraid to have him on.
And I said, I'd be willing...
I put it on Twitter.
I'd be willing to have you on, and we could talk about whatever you want for as
long as
you want to.
Mm-hmm.
And then it became this giant thing.
Then him and I had a conversation on the phone, and I really enjoyed talking to
him.
But my hesitation was purely that I didn't want to fuck him over, because I do
think he's...
I mean, for lack of a better term, I think he's a special person.
Mm-hmm.
I think he's a...
He's...
There's a rare diamond, right?
Like, it's hard to make a Kanye West.
It's like...
There's a few people that I know like that.
Like Joey Diaz.
It's hard to make a Joey Diaz.
You don't get a lot of Joey Diaz's in this life.
You get one or two, ever.
And when I see a person like Kanye, and I see how sensitive he is, and I see
all these
people that are trying to chop him down all the time.
And I made fun of his fucking sneakers.
I mean, Jamie gave me a pair of Yeezys, and I was making fun of him.
But I make fun of everything.
I make fun of me, too.
Mm-hmm.
But I was like, I don't want this guy to have a bad time.
Yeah.
So I resisted having him on.
Really?
Yeah.
Even though I knew it would be a big show, like ratings-wise, I'm like, I don't
want this
guy to say something where people get mad at him.
And I would rather him just making music.
And I really got into his music, like, pretty deep after.
I mean, I always loved his shit.
Like, Gold Digger's a classic.
I always love a lot of his shit all day.
He's got some classic shit, right?
Mm-hmm.
But after he did, after he and I had that conversation, I really got into it.
And I was like, man, I don't want anything.
I don't want this to be negative.
And then I started getting messages from his people.
And even some of his people actually got in contact with my wife.
And they're like, we don't want Kanye to say anything crazy and having it ruin
him.
And I was like, let's just leave it alone.
So your wife involved with producing the show?
No, zero.
How'd they get in contact with him?
She knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody.
It's like a multi-chain step.
Yeah.
It wasn't even, but it was like, I was like, all right, let's just leave it
alone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just going to enjoy his music.
I'm like, just let Kanye be Kanye.
And then when he was running for president, and then he reached out to me a
bunch.
And he's like, and I'm like, all right, let's just do it.
And then he and I had a conversation on the phone and he sounded like super
stable and creative.
Well, I think you accomplished what you set out to do because I thought he was,
I felt that I saw a side of him that I've never seen because he really was able
to have the time and space to say what was on his mind.
He seemed to be in a very good place on your show.
Like he was, I've seen him on TMZ and stuff kind of like scattered, but he was
great.
And I'm a huge fan because.
I think he knows that I respect him too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he felt comfortable that I really do.
Sometimes you see he's got a little bit of a wall up.
Right.
Right, right, right.
He's like waiting for this.
Attack.
Yeah.
Right.
He knew there's no attack on it for me.
So I think that helped.
He knows I love his music and he knows I think he's a unique human.
He's a unique human.
You love hip hop, right?
I love hip hop.
Because I know I saw you tweeted something about Gangstar recently.
Love Gangstar.
I'm like, Gangstar, dude, man.
Oh my God.
I didn't know Joe like Gangstar.
Oh my God, yeah.
Because you know when I was a kid I was a rapper and I made rap music and stuff
and I made beats.
I still make beats, but I like just doing it.
But Gangstar, man, like that was like, you know, back Guru stepping the arena.
Sure.
You know, mass appeal.
I was so bummed out when Guru died.
Yeah.
That was a bummer.
But I'm a big fan of DJ Premier.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a big fan of a lot of that East Coast early hip hop.
Yeah.
The boom bap.
Yeah.
There's so much good shit from that.
His beats are like that boom bap hip hop.
Mm-hmm.
Well, there's just a, there's a grittiness to East Coast early hip, like Cool G
Rap.
Yeah.
Streets of New York.
Yeah.
Giant fan.
The streets of New York.
Yeah.
I still, occasionally I'll listen to that song Cock Blockin'.
Yeah.
Cool G Rap, Cock Blockin'.
Yeah.
Some great fucking songs, man.
Streets of New York, man.
That's a great song.
I love East Coast hip hop.
Yeah.
You know?
Trap Call Quest.
Yeah.
Low End Theory is my favorite album of all time.
Mm.
If anyone ever asks me what's my favorite album of all time, I'd say the Low
End Theory,
Trap Call Quest.
If I had to pick one rapper that I'm, well, I don't know, Biggie is pretty top
on the list,
but also Nas.
Like there's something about Nas' lyrics, like Nas has the best lyrics.
Mm-hmm.
Like Nas' lyrics, I'll go back over his lyrics.
Like that Rewind song where he does the whole story backwards.
Mm-hmm.
Like, come on, man.
He's so good.
He's so creative.
Yeah.
And his lyrics are, his dad was a jazz musician.
Okay.
And I think that's true.
Jazz or blues?
Mm-hmm.
His dad was a musician.
Yeah.
Like a professional, well-respected musician.
And Nas sort of, I think, sort of embodied that ethos.
Mm-hmm.
And put it into hip hop.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
'Cause like, one thing I remember from Mo' Better Blues, you remember that
movie?
Yeah, yeah.
Spike Lee movie?
I remember being like, real, uh, when Denzel Washington was like, wouldn't even
fuck his
girlfriend 'cause he had to practice.
I was like, wow, that's dedication.
Right, right.
And I remember thinking like, the dedication that a blues musician has.
Yeah.
Or a jazz musician has.
Yeah.
Where they're just constantly practicing their instrument is so much different
than a stand-up.
Cause-
Four are the same.
Yeah.
Well, stand-ups are just-
Four are very similar too.
Mm.
I sometimes think stand-up, I mean-
But so much of us are fuck-ups.
Sort of like jazz, right?
Yeah, but fuck-ups in that we don't practice like they do.
They'll practice for hours and hours every day.
Mm-hmm.
You getting up on stage every night, man, that's practicing, man.
Mm.
Yeah, but you should practice before you get up on stage.
Uh.
Most comics don't.
Yeah, well, how are you gonna do it?
Sitting in front of the mirror, tell jokes?
Writing.
Oh, okay.
Thing going over your notes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, I'm just, I'm just saying, you know, it's-
Yeah.
I feel like, cause I feel like, I mean, what do I know?
But like, you know, ha ha!
You know, it's the space between the notes, right?
That's what they talk about with jazz, right?
The space between the notes.
You did a COVID test today, right?
That's the same thing-
Yeah, we both did, bro.
That's the same thing with stand-up.
It's the space between the jokes, even.
It's the space between the ideas.
Like, stand-up is the thing that requires a lack of discipline sometimes.
Like, stand-up is not just, it's like jazz, and anytime you're playing a
musical instrument,
you must be proficient in that instrument.
Wait a minute, what is that?
In that instrument.
Marijuana.
No, but I mean what?
Comes from, uh, Dono Rawlings.
That's some good shit, man.
That's good shit, right?
That's good for now.
I've got a, I've got a monitor, I'm gonna, I'm gonna monitor that hit, and uh-
Good call.
Yeah.
Stand-up requires almost a lack of discipline to be wild enough to say some of
the shit that
we say.
Mm-hmm.
But also, discipline to go over your notes.
Mm-hmm.
Discipline to look at all these ideas and try to structure them in a way that's
gonna resonate
with the audience.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Discipline to, like, think about the set, and what went wrong, what went right,
and try
to reevaluate, and-
So the words in stand-up and the ideas, that's where your fingers are on the
piano, right?
That's, that's the technical side.
And then the spaces between the words and the rhythm and the timing with the
audience,
that's where-
Yeah.
Also your head, right?
Yeah.
Like where your head's at.
Cause I, you know, like, I mean, again, like I've had a, you know, I've had, I've
enjoyed
making music over the years.
I'm not, I wouldn't say that I'm that good at it, but I definitely love doing
it.
And you can pull up, pull up my video from 1992 of when I was a kid in, in
Canada.
I made a rap album.
And to me, it was like, I love this.
I love the, it was, it was sort of like the technology.
Like I loved, I loved, like I got a sampler.
I worked all summer as a mowing lawn so I could buy a sampler, a used sampler.
And then I started sampling records, listening to Gangstar and like, I want to
try to do that,
you know?
And, uh, and so, uh, so, uh, but, uh, you know, man, like, um, yeah, there,
this is,
that's me in the red jacket when I was 18 years old and, you know, this was our
album.
That's 1990, 1991.
That's the yellow jacket.
Look how skinny I am.
One 18th of a megapixel camera.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it's, it's a bad upload.
We actually shot it.
So shot on film, actually.
That was shot on 16 millimeter film on a steady cam.
There we go.
Yeah.
There, me in the grocery store.
Are you friends with these guys anymore?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was the other MC.
He's a great rapper.
What's he doing now?
He is in Ottawa and, uh, he's, he's actually killing it as a real estate agent
up there.
And he's doing a great job.
He really is killing it.
Like, I mean, this is, he's, uh, so, uh, Mr. Big Stuff, he called himself after.
He's, he's, he's an incredible rapper, actually.
Does he call himself Mr. Big Stuff when he's selling houses?
He should, man.
He should.
That's a good idea.
Show up with a clock on your neck.
He still has, I'd like you to meet Greg someday, man.
Okay.
He's still got like an incredible energy about him.
And I feel like in a lot of ways, like, I like, I learned a lot from him.
We were kids, you know, but we met in high school.
Right.
We were, we were skateboarders and, uh, he was the other skateboarder of my
school.
He's a couple of years younger than me.
Like he's like, and when we were like, when I was 17 and he was 15, we went to
New York
and made a, made a goofy record.
So.
Wow.
And he's got, there, there we are.
That's Greg on the right.
And that's my Jordy Ferguson, who I've, I've happened to talk, talk, talk.
He was our DJ in the middle.
And, but Greg on the right in the glasses.
Where are you?
Hilarious.
That's me on the left.
Bones.
CUT THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.
That's not you.
Let me see your face.
Look at me.
Barely you.
See, it says bones on my hat.
That's cause that's from Powell Peralta Skateboards.
I just, but no, I was bones.
MC Bones.
Cause I was skinny.
Bones.
Rocking the microphone.
I'm like a king on the throne.
Only thing is I stand alone.
Know what I'm saying, Joe?
I do understand.
I get it.
This was our pizza commercial.
We did.
We did a pizza, we did a local pizza commercial.
You can play that.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
What's the, is the pizza company still around?
The pizza store?
It was for a grocery store chain called Loeb.
Look at you.
You can play this.
You can play this.
You can play this video.
Can you play that?
Can you play that with the music?
We rapped in it.
Uh, yeah.
Check this out.
Organize rhyme on time with the cool food.
9.99.
I feel fine.
Don't be a fool, dude.
Used to be soft.
I was lost.
Dude, you did a pizza commercial as a rapper.
Look at me.
19.
Did that kid really need glasses or was that a prop?
Uh, I think that was me.
That kid right there.
Where?
The other one.
Right there with the glasses.
Oh, Greg.
No, no.
Greg needed glasses, yeah.
Okay.
Just checking.
Yeah.
I really distrust people with fake glasses.
We keep it real, man.
We keep it real.
Organize one.
We keep it real.
Right.
If you found someone that was wearing fake glasses, but they weren't
prescription.
Oh, yeah.
Wouldn't you get a little uneasy?
They're trying to be like John Lennon or something?
I don't know why I would get uneasy.
Mm, yeah.
Why?
I, uh, I require glasses now for reading.
Oh, do you really?
That started three or four years ago, and I know how it started.
How old are you?
I am, guess.
30.
No.
12.
I'm bad at this.
I'm 49.
Wow, you look great, dude.
No.
You do.
That's very nice of you.
Everyone online tells me I look old.
Look how fucking old he looks now.
Stop reading comments.
Look how fucking old he looks now.
Listen, if I was 20, I would say that shit too.
This guy looks old as fuck.
Yeah.
But as an actual person that's near your age, I think you look great.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You look great too.
Thank you very much.
Um, what, what, how did we get to this?
What were we talking about right before that?
Well, who was the guy with the glasses?
Greg had glasses on.
Oh.
And so, so I, I have glasses now.
I wore glasses only for reading my phone.
And I know how I, I know how I got, uh, I know why my glasses went, uh, my eyes
went
bad.
Why?
And I saw, I actually said this in the other day, uh, uh, in, in your show.
He said, make it bigger for my old ass eyes.
He said.
Right.
I, and I was like, I know how you got.
That's what happened to me.
Yeah.
You got old.
Tell me about something important, like, like a chemical exposure or something.
I know how it went bad.
No, I just got old.
No, I do have a thing.
Oh, okay.
It's a real thing.
It's what it is.
When you wake up in the morning and it's still dark, don't look at your phone
until you've
turned the lights on.
And that fixes everything?
No, that's when you damage your eyes looking at your phone in the dark.
I felt them break.
I felt my eyes break.
Yeah.
Maybe they're lifting weights.
Maybe your eyes are lifting weights.
No, it's in the dark, the bright, the bright light of the.
Pussy ass eyes that are scared of matches.
I think it's, I think it's when you look at your phone in the dark is what
makes it,
makes it go.
Imagine if you looked at difficult, like the eyes are so much different than a
lot of parts
of your body.
Cause like if you lift difficult things with your legs, you get bigger legs.
But if you look at too much shit with your eyes, they break.
Yeah.
Yes.
Right.
You don't think so?
Dude, I'm a doctor basically.
That's true.
That's true.
That's what I'm saying.
Like legitimate.
No, first of all, they're going to break no matter what.
Right.
And part of it is apparently.
But your legs break down eventually as you get older.
They're already breaking down.
Yeah.
But I think it's also like, there's a thing about looking at something that's
always a
certain distance from you on a regular basis over and over and over again.
I don't think we're supposed to do that.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
I think.
Especially in the dark.
But when you wake up in the morning, it's dark and there's a bright thing.
I believe it accentuates the speed at which it's not good for your eyes because
it's that
your eyes are exposed.
In photography, you've exposed for the darkness.
Yeah.
Your irises are at a certain point.
And then all of a sudden you hit it with this bright light.
That's what broke.
I felt it break.
I remember the day it went out of focus.
I was in the morning.
I was looking at my phone.
Okay.
Anyways.
I don't like to be overly optimistic about some shit that I barely understand.
But I think that super smart dudes are really on the ball when it comes to like
vision and
therapies for vision deterioration.
I had a guy, Andrew Huberman, who works on that specifically.
And he was talking about they're going to be able to put injections into people's
eyes.
And then I'm absolutely butchering this.
But then do something with virtual reality that actually improves the way your
vision is.
I remember seeing it.
I don't like the way it's rewarded.
So they can bring our, without the laser eye surgery, I haven't had that.
Ah!
Scientists have reversed age-related blindness by deliberately infecting the
eyes of the virus.
This is exactly what Huberman was talking about.
A small, and this is from 2017, and preliminary clinical trials found that
injecting a common
cold-like virus in the eyes of age-related macular degeneration patients, one
of the least
one of the leading causes of blindness in the US, it can halt and even reverse
the progression
of the disease.
So it could reverse.
Wow.
So these people are, they're way smarter than you and I, Tom.
They're different kind of humans.
Yeah.
They're out there trying to fix problems with cancer, and age, and telomere
length, and mental
deterioration, and all the things that plague all of us.
Mm-hmm.
They're out there working on it while we're talking shit.
We're just here talking shit.
We're just here talking shit.
And you're bringing attention to it, Joe.
Yeah.
But yeah, absolutely.
It's, but I mean, like seriously, like, yeah, that's, that's, that would be, I
would get
that.
My friend Cam Haynes.
I would get that, I would get that injection because I hate, I can't stand, it's
blurry
when I look at my phone now.
It's so annoying.
Is it blurry when you look at your phone?
Oh yeah, for sure.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Yeah, like if I look at my phone, like I can read it right from here.
I heard you say that on the phone.
But it's not perfect.
I heard you say that on the show the other day, and I actually felt like.
Dude, if I put glasses on, it looks great.
That's why I have these.
I was like, oh good.
I was like, oh good.
Like.
Do I look sexy?
Yes.
If I put these bitches on.
I have glasses like that.
I should go get my glasses out of the van.
I can see everything.
You put a camera out by the van?
I'll show you the van.
My van's here.
I'm having fun in my, I can't, this is, first of all, thank you, Joe, for
having
me.
My pleasure, brother.
And thank you for, like, legitimately inspiring me.
That's not, not bullshit.
Your show was one of the first things that I ever did where I thought, oh my
God, you
could do this on your own.
When, when I went to your house and you had these wires going through your
living room
and then you had a server room and me and Red Band were like, holy shit, dude.
What's up, Red Band?
It was part of what got me interested in doing a podcast was going to your spot.
You know, thank you for the inspiration, my friend.
Please, thank you.
I appreciate it.
We're, I think we're all in this together, man.
But you, you, no doubt without it, you know, without any question, you helped
me a lot.
Cause you gave me a thought that I didn't really have before that some guy
could be so ahead
of the curve that, I mean, you were doing this in like 2000 and like, what,
four?
What were you doing?
What were you doing?
You, you have given me the inspiration of saying, oh shit, it actually could
work.
It works.
It does work.
Joe fucking did it.
Yeah.
But I got the idea.
A lot of it was from you and the rest of it was from Opie and Anthony.
You know, I think you're, you're, you're inspiring so many people because the
thing is that's the
hardest part about being creative or being an artist or whatever you want to
call it.
A comedian, a writer, a musician, all these things, right?
You dream something.
So the, the idea of not quitting, right?
That's like really the thing.
Cause like everybody kind of sort of second guesses himself and says, okay.
Maybe I shouldn't just be doing this, you know?
And, but, and, and I'm mentally ill, Tom green.
I don't let things go.
Yeah.
No, it's beautiful though, man, because it's, it's great to see.
I mean, here we are in, first of all, the, the UFO studio, which I love.
And I, I wanted to ask you some questions about it.
Okay.
If, um, what is the inspiration for this incredible?
Chinese restaurants.
No disrespect.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Love Chinese restaurants.
Oh, wow.
I didn't, I actually didn't even notice that, that, that until now.
I'm joking.
I hope people don't get mad at me for that.
No, they won't.
I love Chinese restaurants.
It does feel like that.
It's not negative.
No, honestly.
It's not, it's not that.
It was, uh, this was the, the whole idea behind it.
We, uh, Matt Alvarez, who's the guy who built it.
And I, we were, we're thinking of like what to do with the space.
There was a circular space like this.
The shape of the space is already there.
And I was like, that'd be kind of cool to have a podcast in there.
And then we found out that they have the sound panels that look like this and
you can make them in different designs.
You can choose what designs you get.
I'm like, oh, those would be kind of dope as like things on the wall.
And we just put it together and he did it all within five or six weeks of the
time we decided we're going to move here.
So it happened so quick.
So what he's done, you know, with all this design and everything is we just ran
with it.
You know, it wasn't, it wasn't anything that was thought out when people like,
God, it's weird in there.
Like, yeah, I get it.
Yeah.
It's weird.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I like it.
But this is not the end.
This is what I needed to get in here.
This is like, think of this as a spaceship that takes us from the LA podcast
studio to the Texas podcast studio.
The Texas podcast studio is under construction currently.
Yeah.
So when all that's, this is our spaceship.
This is not the Texas podcast studio.
We're in a spaceship.
We've traveled from one podcast studio through this spaceship into the next.
Oh, so this is not the studio.
This is not the ultimate destination.
Oh, we're not in the studio.
No.
Oh.
This is the spaceship leading us from one studio to the next.
I thought I was in the studio.
So there's a new studio coming.
New studio coming.
When's that going to be?
When Odin blesses us with his praise.
We have to wait.
But you.
No one's bringing back Odin.
Imagine if you wanted to bring back Greek gods.
You're like, let's just go back to the classics, guys.
Thor.
Athena.
Yeah.
Come on.
Let me ask you a question.
If this is the spaceship and the new studio, is it going to be in closed
environment?
This is kind of really interesting to me.
Do you like it better?
Yes.
Really?
Now that I'm sitting here, before I might have said, you know, well, you could,
you know,
he's Joe fucking Rogan.
He could have as much space as he wants, but he could put himself in a big, big,
giant thing,
Colosseum kind of place with background, deep, deep background.
You could have like, but the thing is like, no, because I always think about
depth in photography.
I think about depth.
But then when you, as far as the experience, when you're in an intimate
conversation with
one person for an hour, you're sitting there going, oh, we're going to talk to
each other
for an hour.
It's kind of nice feeling like there's not people back far in the distance.
You know, it's kind of, I think it creates an interesting environment.
Like just acoustically, it's really cool.
Acoustically, it's nice.
That's what I have to say about that.
We are, where there's less space, which makes us somehow or another more
intimate with the
same amount of distance between each other.
So is it going to be an enclosed space or is it going to be a larger room?
It's going to be a...
And both would be good, by the way.
Split the difference.
It's going to split the difference, I think, between this one and the old one.
But just be more normal, I think.
Less distracting.
You know.
This is awesome.
Thank you.
I mean...
I like it too.
But I don't know if it's necessarily perfect.
It's just fun.
It's fun to be able to make...
Look, I'm not a big designer, but it's fun to just do different shit.
It'd be fun to have a green screen behind me and be in space every day.
Like different galaxies floating behind me.
Like we could do a lot of shit.
So what is that that you think that it is that it is in people where we drive
ourselves
to kind of create this vision we have in our mind, you know?
Think ideas.
You have a vision in your mind.
This is not even the end of the vision.
This is the beginning of the new vision.
Right?
This is not even the studio.
I thought it was in the studio.
It's a spaceship.
It's just a spaceship.
This is the first time anyone's hearing this.
Because it's the first time I've ever said it.
Because it's the first time I thought of it.
There is no other studio.
This is the next studio that's taking us to the next studio.
There is going to be another studio.
This really is a spaceship.
Like if you could look at it, that would be a metaphor.
Right?
Is that a metaphor?
Technically?
Now, listen.
I'm not going to ask any more questions about the new studio because I want to
be surprised.
Well, it's just different shit, man.
I want to be surprised.
I want to do a bunch of different things.
But I do want to do some where it's a room that's 100% green screen.
And I want to figure out like what we have to do to be in space.
I want to do a conversation in space.
Yeah.
So one of the rooms I want to do, I want to do like a full circular green
screen.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can you start that again?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want to do an interview in space?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do a room where say like you and I, Tom Green, Joe Rogan, sitting at a bar
table.
Yeah.
A circular bar table.
Oh, you want to have like.
You and I would share.
Just hanging, talking to each other.
Oh, okay.
Just two microphones and bar, like very intimate.
Behind us, all green screen in space.
Okay.
So when you see the podcast, it's just us in space.
So that's what, I love that.
Is that really where it's going?
The problem would be, you wouldn't see that it's in space.
You would just see green, right?
Yeah.
Would that be weird?
We can do that.
Well, what I'm saying.
Yeah, we can do that, right?
We could do what you're saying.
Yeah.
It's not green screen.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
What would it be?
It's actually there.
No, I think I just, I think I thought of it.
It's like projected around you.
Oh.
I think I thought of an idea.
Is that better?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's better?
It's not cheaper, but it's better.
Oh.
Just paint this room green.
You could do that?
Just spray paint this room green.
Yeah, you could do that.
So you could have it like green, so you can do that, but also you have the
intimacy
of the clothes.
Like Anthony Cumia from Opie and Anthony, his whole thing is green screen,
right?
He does like green, you didn't go with me?
He has a setup where if you go to his channel, go to see if there's a clip of
him.
Like it looks like he's like in front of a window that overlooks like this
spectacular.
Yeah.
It's just, it's just a green screen.
Wow.
Yeah.
He's indoors.
Yeah.
What's up, Anthony?
How's it going?
Those guys from Opie and Anthony and Jim Norton, when those guys would have you
on the podcast
or their radio show rather, I say podcast because it really was the first
podcast.
Yeah.
I think Opie and Anthony was the first podcast.
Yeah.
Because it was sort of structureless.
They split up though.
Like Rich Voss.
They split up.
They split up.
Unfortunate.
They needed a mediator.
There he is.
So that's all green screen behind him.
Maybe you think they'll ever get back together?
Fuck.
It would be amazing.
Listen, sometimes people, when they work together for long periods of time,
they just get on each
other's nerves.
They hate each other.
Mm-hmm.
But what they had...
Every band.
They can't hate each other a hundred percent.
What they had when those guys were together, when everything was rocking and
rolling, I mean,
it was a great fucking show.
It was a great show for comics because we would come in and they taught me how
to be just...
They taught me how to just hang.
Like on a radio show where you didn't have to think like, oh my God, this is
like this really
structured program.
There was no structure.
It was Ari Shafir and Bill Burr and Patrice O'Neil and Rich Voss and fuckers.
It was fucking chaos.
It was so fun.
It was so ridiculous.
And we would look forward to it.
Like I remember I'd smoke a joint and then drink coffee or we would take pot lollipops
or something.
And we would be on our way to Opie and Anthony like Ari and I and it would be,
you know, fucking six o'clock in the morning.
We're exhausted.
We did a show last night.
We were so pumped to get there because we knew maybe Colin Quinn was going to
come by.
All these different comics are going to be there.
And it was just a hang, man.
It was just a hang.
Yeah.
Everybody was just laughing and goofing on each other.
And it was, you know, sometimes you'd have four or five comics in the room.
And there's so many people that were obviously in America and the world who
remember where they were when at that time listening.
They were all the listeners, right?
Listening to that.
There were some moments that were the most, one of the craziest things I've
ever seen in my life happen on that show where they had an eggnog drinking
contest.
And this dude, Paul from Wynaki, Pat, Pat from Wynaki, Pat from Wynaki is a
dude who won their eggnog drinking contest and then vomited in another man's
mouth who was leaning over a garbage can.
He was surrounded by comics, Bill Burr, Ari Shaffir, me, Opie, Anthony, a bunch
of staff, threw up in this dude's mouth.
The dude, Pat Duffy, he leaned over a garbage can and opened his mouth like
this.
Look at this.
So he's leaning over this garbage.
He's got his neck over this.
And this other guy, Pat, who's behind him, is at the end of the line.
He's probably done.
How many shots do you think he did, Jamie?
Do you remember?
I had a close to 20-ish, maybe more.
I don't know.
I had a night like this once.
Like legit.
I had a night like this once at the Rivoli Theater in Toronto, actually.
But he keeps downing these shots of eggnog.
And he also has diabetes.
So he really, he has to throw it up.
Like you really can't keep it in his body because it's so much sugar.
It might kill him.
This is a crazy scene, man.
Wait, what year is this?
What, what?
Oh, I don't know.
Oh my God, wait, where?
Early 2000s.
Where are you?
Look at this.
Where are you?
I don't know, I'm in there somewhere.
Oh my, oh, okay.
Okay, I see.
That might be me filming right there.
Okay.
Is that me?
I think that is me.
Oh, okay.
There we go.
That's me on the mic filming.
You know, it was just the 90s were weird, you know?
Dude, look at, everybody has a flip phone.
I have a flip phone.
And he, watch him throw up in this dude's mouth.
Ready?
Look at that.
Okay.
Hello.
Okay.
Whoa, whoa.
How much?
How much?
Oh, it keeps going, dude.
It's cartoonish.
It keeps going.
How much?
What was he eating that day?
Eggnog, bro.
You're not listening.
Look, look, look.
Oh, whoa.
I'm seeing this for the first time.
I think he's got more.
He's got more.
He's got another one in him.
Hold on.
It's like the meaning of life.
The final scene of the meaning of life.
I think he's got one more.
Look, look.
Preposterous.
Preposterous amounts of eggnog.
Wow.
In this guy's mouth.
It was the, and look, the splat.
It's the Dexter scene.
This is Dexter.
Look at the ground.
It's covered in plastic.
Everyone knew there was going to be throw up.
This is a radio show.
Do you understand how crazy this is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The video only came from cell phones.
There was no show like on video.
I know.
This is how bonkers radio was back then.
And so those guys gave a chance to guys like Ari and me.
And Joey Diaz and all those guys.
Yeah.
Who out of that group that, you know, were doing those radio shows early in the
morning.
And you would do that show and you would go, why can't we do this?
And that was a seed too.
So between you and them.
And then the fact that Adam Carolla went right from radio.
He went to doing his own podcast and a bunch of other people did the same thing.
I was like, okay.
Yeah.
It's, I mean, look, Charlie just got up, by the way.
That's a beautiful thing.
Chopper.
My name's Chopper, bro.
First of all, Joe, thank you.
Thank you.
And what's up to Opie and Anthony.
Salute.
And Charlie just woke up.
So let me just get Charlie.
Charlie, what are you doing?
Maybe you can come up here and say hi.
This is never going to work.
People always want to bring dogs on the podcast.
You watch.
Even my dog was on the podcast for like five seconds.
Charlie is chill.
Check it out.
I'm sure she's chill.
Definitely won't interfere with the conversation at all.
No, watch.
Ignore her for a second.
Okay.
Check it out.
What am I ignoring?
Talk about Marshall.
What am I ignoring?
Marshall May Rogan.
Yeah.
That's his name.
Why are you saying ignore her?
Well, just because you thought she was going to interrupt the conversation.
I'm just joking.
Just joking.
She's adorable.
She won't.
She's a sweet little dog.
Isn't she interesting?
She's very sweet.
Energy.
Well, she's very calm, which means she's loved.
Like, look at the way she's embracing you.
Yeah.
That's a loved dog.
I do love her.
She can tell.
Look how she leans into you, man.
Yeah.
When Marshall, when you pet him, he leans into your leg.
Yeah.
Like it's the sweetest thing.
It's like he's trying to stay in contact with you.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I've had, I had two Siberian Huskies for 15 years before Charlie.
And, but this is new relationship.
You know, it's, you're seven months old, Charlie, you're seven months old.
You know, it's fucked up, man.
It's like, you could look at things almost in two different ways.
You could be a reductionist person.
You could say like, well, you know, the weird thing about dogs is, it's really
what mankind
has done to wolves.
Like they've taken them and subjugated them and then fucking genetically mutated
them to
be some thing that sits in your lap that relies on you to stay alive.
Like man.
Hmm.
Yeah, but you can't fix that.
And dogs are real.
And they're real right now.
Right.
And you could have a dog like Charlie.
Yeah.
Well, I think about that.
Cause like we were out there and the coyotes are out there and like, dude, like
I really am
living out in the middle of the woods.
It's really kind of crazy.
Like, like for real, like that's actually what we've been doing for the last
six weeks.
And it's ridiculous, but it's really fun and I'm loving it.
And Charlie's loving it.
Dude.
Charlie's adorable.
We go for a walk in the woods every day.
She's so sweet.
And she's having a good time.
She gets crazy.
She gets a little crazy.
She gets her zoomies.
Oh yeah.
I love when they do that.
She goes nuts.
Especially at her age, right?
It can get frustrating.
Well, you got to run with her or do something with her, throw a ball to her.
Yeah.
No.
And she'll instigate all that stuff.
So, so yeah.
I do want to, I do want to, I worry about her.
I worry about her.
I'm sure you love her.
We're out in the middle of nowhere.
So she's, she's got a GPS tracker on her collar.
Yeah.
I, I, I put tape over my phone number on the dog tag before I came to the show.
Good move.
Because my personal cell phone number's on there.
You don't want to get them dick pics.
I just didn't want, didn't want it up on the thing.
So I thought about that.
Yeah.
If you did have it up, how many dick pics do you think you'd get?
Okay.
Well let's take the tape off for a second.
I'll give them a cell phone number.
Let's see.
I love dogs, but it is crazy what we did to the wolf.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Did we do it or did they, they, they saw an opportunity.
They saw a campfire.
They saw a bunch of fresh cooked meat, delicious.
They go, go in, be cute.
Mm-hmm.
Someone throws me.
This is the same argument that predatory women use when they steal men's money
and divorce
them.
Like when a hot lady marries an old billionaire.
Yeah.
Same sort of logic.
Well.
Do we really do it to them?
Yeah.
Or did they do it to themselves?
Did they come close to the campfire?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Did they want the love?
I think that, I think that's what it is with dogs.
So they just evolved from that.
Right.
I think they, um, for sure did for a while.
They were close to us.
And then once we started capturing them and keeping them in our houses and shit,
the ones
that survived are the ones that the most obedient, the ones that were the most
compliant, the ones
that didn't give us a hard time.
The ones that, you know, just wanted love.
I think about that sometimes when I'm hanging out with my dog, like he's the
sweetest thing
in the world.
I love him to death.
Like we have these little hug sessions in the morning.
Like every morning when I wake up, I go, hello, sir.
Hello, sir.
He's like, oh, he's like so excited to see you.
He's such a sweetheart of a dog, but I'm like, he couldn't survive on his own.
Like he's, he's this fluffy thing.
That's amazing.
He's full of love, like a love sponge, but that's not an animal that survives
as an animal.
It's, he's essentially a carnivore.
I'm feeding him food.
I have to feed him.
Yeah.
And then as long as I do that, he'll stay this sort of sweet, compliant, well-fed
thing.
Yeah.
But like wild dogs kill people.
Some, some lady got killed by a wild dog like a week ago.
Yeah.
There was some, uh, some article I saw.
I think it was a lady got, or maybe it was an old man, but someone got killed.
Do you remember it, Jamie?
Charlie.
Somebody got killed by a wild dog.
Oh, uh, today.
Today.
Oh, look at this.
Florida man killed by a pack of wild dogs.
Florida man killed by a pack of wild dogs.
Today.
Today.
Why is it always in Florida?
These things happen.
Cause it's the best spot on earth.
It's, it's aliens amusement park.
It's aliens of.
Florida man.
I wonder if it's in the air.
Yeah.
Imagine if that's what they prove.
Like you go, you go to Florida.
Yeah.
Get in there, buddy.
Imagine if you go.
I don't want to make a fool of myself here.
They prove that if you go to Florida, like your IQ drops 3%.
And your inability to say no to meth goes up by a thousand percent.
You can drink too much sometimes, but I mean, Joe, it's an honor to be here.
Having whiskey with you, man.
It's an honor to have you.
It's an honor to have you, brother.
Uh, for real.
Legitimately.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
You are one of the reasons why I do this.
So thank you very much.
I mean.
When you, when you were doing that show out of your house and you had me over
as a
night, I remember sitting at your, your table going, look, look at what Tom
Green did.
This is amazing.
You, you, you made your own thing.
You made your own show and you were doing a call in talk show with a desk.
Listen, I appreciate it, Joe.
You don't have to say it.
I, I, that's, it's just, it's true.
It's so cool, man.
Just being here and just, you know, this whiskey is pretty damn really good.
Like really good.
Pretty damn good.
Especially when you're drunk.
This is a still Austin straight bourbon whiskey.
When you're drunk.
It's like, it's not, it's not clear what actually is good.
What was the first, what was the first drink you had when you were a kid?
Like when you were a kid?
Well, I remember.
When do you start drinking?
When do you start drinking?
I remember.
How old were you when you started drinking?
High school kids.
High school.
Yeah.
I got really fucked up on Jack Daniels to the point where I couldn't smell Jack
Daniels
for like years.
I had that experience with wild Turkey.
Wild Turkey and Maker's Mark.
I have that.
Yeah.
I threw up in a cab when I was like 15 years old.
Yeah.
Oh.
I remember that.
Yeah.
The same, same 15, you know, certain, you know, it's, it's, it's, it.
Listen, I had, uh, wild Turkey was my first, uh, bourbon experience and it did
not end well,
but, uh, yeah.
Wild Turkey will fuck you up, right?
That stuff is seriously potent.
Isn't it?
Isn't it like a higher percentage of alcohol?
Well.
It's like a moonshine.
What happened was my friend Phil and I, uh, who was my, you know, best friend
growing up.
We went, we went on a camping trip one time.
We let, this is what kids in Canada do when they're in their 20s.
When they're not skateboarding.
Hey, let's go paddle.
Take a walk about.
We brought a canoe and we said, let's paddle out to that island out.
And, uh, you know, we'll bring some beer.
We'll bring some whiskey.
We'll light a fire.
We'll hang out and it'll be fun.
Anyways, we went out.
I flipped the canoe on the way.
The beer sunk to the bottom of the lake.
All we had was our bottle of wild Turkey.
So we didn't have the beard.
Oh, it was not a good, a good thing, but.
Damn dude.
Um, yeah.
So Canadian life is a different life.
That's why people are nicer up there.
You guys have more weather.
You have to deal with more shit.
You have to like band together more.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Like it's kind of this, this, the winter's kind of kept you down a little bit.
Mm-hmm.
As a country.
Mm-hmm.
Like there's, there's a certain reality that Canada has that the rest of the
North America
doesn't have is like in the winter, it can get real crazy.
Oh yeah.
And so like what, I mean, you were saying ice fishing, right?
Yeah.
Uh, you, you did ice fishing.
Um, I didn't do ice fishing, but like that it was just walking to school was
going ice
fishing.
Yeah.
Like you're four.
And by the way, you know, it was the seventies, right?
I'm was born in 1971.
So I was, I was walking to school as a five year old in 1976.
You know, it's like, Oh God, that's crazy.
With a hat on by myself.
Wolves are out there.
Yeah.
So Jesus Christ, Tom green.
What if you got eaten by a wolf?
Yeah.
And look, and Charlie just went to sleep, went right back to sleep.
Isn't she such a cute little.
She's sweet.
She's definitely a sweetie pie.
She's so loved.
You could tell the way she leans into you.
Yeah.
That's a loved dog.
And so it's a unique situation because of the pandemic and on the fact that I've
got,
you know, we're, we're all isolating and I've got nothing else to do other than
go at
my van with this new dog.
And she was rescued by a rescue from, they're called, they're called thrive in
San Diego.
And this is what they do.
They find dogs in the Caribbean and, uh, and Mexico, or this is, she was born
in the Bahamas
and they bring them over.
So that's dope.
And I just, uh, I just, you know, uh, you got a good one, man.
It's kind of like, it's kind of weird.
Cause like, I just kind of got super lucky.
Cause it just sort of happened.
Like I, I knew I needed a dog because this has been a weird year.
I got, I miss having dogs.
You know, I didn't have a dog.
It's also cool that she's young enough so that you can teach her the dogs.
Like sometimes people adopt dogs and they're grown.
And when you adopt dog and it's grown, it's more difficult road to kind of
train them and
get them.
So she was three and a half months when I got her.
Chew one shit.
She had actually been rescued by someone else and then they couldn't keep her.
And I got her three and a half months.
So, but, uh, yeah, she's, she's a very good, very good puppy.
And, uh, I've had Marshall since he was like six weeks old.
Yeah.
So he, how old is Marshall tight?
He he's, uh, almost four.
Oh four.
Okay.
He's the sweetest.
And I've never had of a golden retriever before.
Yeah.
Just a different thing.
Like when I see him, it's just, we just have this little love session.
So me and him.
Um, man, dog, love session.
Yeah.
Charlie has a Instagram.
Look at her in pictures.
Charlie, the pot cake dog.
Charlie is called a pot cake dog.
What's that?
So she's rescued from the Bahamas in the Bahamas.
They call this the street dogs that are running around the strays.
They call them pot cake dogs.
Cause they go to the local people cook them.
You know, they, they feed them the burnt rice from the, from the, from the, and
that's why
they're called pot cake dogs.
So that's what Charlie is.
She's a pot cake dog.
And, and, uh, she's, uh,
Steve has a dog that has a similar type story, right?
Doesn't he?
He does.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
His dogs hit the lottery, son.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's up, Steve-o?
Shout out to Steve-o.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Dogs are just like, it's a really interesting thing.
Cause part of me knows that this is a wolf that was manipulated.
It's ancestors are manipulated into this thing.
Yeah.
But part of me is like, yeah, but there's nothing I can do about that right now.
Like he's alive right now.
So he's my, my snuggle buddy.
Yeah.
Like you do, hello buddy.
Hello buddy.
And he puts his paws up.
Right.
Lays on his back and I rub his tummy.
I love him, but it's, it is, it is strange.
It's, I'm not, this is not a judgment.
This is just an observation.
It's so strange that people did this to wolves.
They took a wolf and turned it into a French bulldog.
A French bulldog came from a wolf.
Right.
Right.
A wolf.
Right.
Well, I mean, but I mean, there is no justification for that.
Well, the wolves cooperated.
Yeah.
Think about it.
Wouldn't, would.
Oh, that's a tough one.
Well, I don't know.
It was probably, it was probably a lot of fun for them.
I'm sure.
I think we need to.
I would think they probably had a lot of fun doing that.
I mean, maybe.
Why would they not have enjoyed that?
Well, they needed food.
Probably.
No.
But I mean, no, being intro.
And what I'm saying is I'm trying to come with like a bit, like you're being
introduced.
We'd like you to, hey, German shepherd, we'd like you to meet this, you know,
Irish wolfhound.
Oh, no, no, I'm not interested in that.
No, of course they were interested in that.
It was probably, probably.
Okay.
Now we're getting weird.
Okay.
Well, I think like German shepherds are tough dogs.
Yeah.
You know, a Belgian Malinois is a dog that's like specifically designed to
attack human beings.
Like those, you ever seen those, those meat missiles, those little small little,
they look like German shepherds, but like dark evil, like almost demonic eyes.
Yeah.
Fuck you up, man.
Those Belgian Malinois.
Yeah.
But that is a dog that's specifically bred just to attack people.
But most dogs are bred to be really nice to people.
You're saying it's unethical that they set animals up with each other like that
because.
Not saying that.
It's like manipulative.
No.
Here's what I'm saying.
Okay.
If they didn't do it, those fucking things would be eating us.
Right.
This is what people have to understand.
Like wolves will fucking eat you.
All right.
I'm not saying we should kill the wolves.
I love wolves.
I love the.
I had two Siberian Huskies for 15 years.
So I lived with basically lived with two wolves.
I have a wolf on my phone.
Oh my gosh.
That's a wolf.
Wow.
That is.
That's my.
Wow.
Hey, can you pull up a picture of Annie and Steve?
I'm fascinated by wolves.
Jamie, check out for Annie and Steve.
I had two dogs that looked like that for 15 years living.
But, well, they're beautiful animal.
I'm fascinated by wolves.
Yeah.
It's not that I don't like wolves, but the reality of wolves is they would
fucking eat you.
The reason why we like dogs is because we've gotten dogs into a position where
we control
them and they're not free.
Yeah.
If dogs were free, they would kill you like that person that died today.
Right.
Who's the person that died today?
Uh, 65 year old man.
65 year old man got attacked and murdered by stray dogs.
Where today?
Where was it?
Florida.
In America.
More Florida.
Another Florida issue.
That's more than one Florida, right?
Yeah.
Was that the same Florida he was talking about before?
Yeah.
That's the same story?
Yeah.
So we already brought this up.
That's how drunk we are.
Listen.
There's Annie and Steve.
Those were my dogs for 15 years.
Steve on the, Steve on the, on the left in this photo and Annie on the right.
And, uh, that's in LA that's up in Burbank at the.
Cool dogs.
Yeah.
And I, they were good girls.
They were good girls.
Dogs are great if you feed them.
Yeah.
You ever have a feral cat?
I've had cats, but not a, I'm not sure if I had a feral cat.
I had a feral cat once.
His name is Jack Dempsey.
Like the boxer.
What do you mean that means?
Feral, wild.
Like you found it and then you adopted it?
Yeah.
Found it as well.
My friend Laney found it as a kitten and, uh, she gave it to me.
Uh huh.
She captured a bunch of her and her boyfriend.
Um, trapped them underneath this house.
Okay.
And then they raised him.
They gave him to people.
My parents found a cat at the side of the road.
Lucky.
Shout out to Lucky.
Shout out to Lucky.
Lucky is no longer here.
Rest in peace, Lucky.
What happened to Lucky?
Well, she lived 19 years.
She wasn't that lucky.
That's lucky.
19 years is very lucky.
Good name.
It might've been 18 or something.
That is fucking old for a cat.
And they found her at the side of the road.
My mother.
Oh, she got hit?
My mother married, no, no.
Oh, she found her when she was a baby.
Yeah.
Just, but they were dry.
So my parents, Mary Jane Green and Richard, Joe, I want to give a shout out,
and to my brother,
Joe.
And they are, you know, they found Lucky.
But first of all, I love you guys.
Great to see you.
My mom and dad and my brother are strong support system in my life.
And, you know, I love them.
So they're excited that I'm here.
I'm excited that they're excited.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah.
I am.
But, but no, so I, it's, it's, it's cool, you know, but, but I, here's a funny
story.
So I talked to my mom on the phone.
Okay.
It went like this.
In the van.
Yeah.
In the van.
As I run over Charlie's head with the rolling.
No, I, you talk to your mom on the phone every day, every day.
Like, I, like I got the phone up on a, on, and I'm driving.
I'm like, Hey, I'm not every day, but when like, if I'm dry, usually when I'm
driving and
I'm trying to find another spot, but you know, it's kind of fun.
I have my friends on the, this, what's cool about the, the phone is on the
speaker.
I can call my friends.
I'm driving around.
I'm talking like, Hey, where should I go tonight?
You know, like, and you go look for these places.
But my mom, Mary Jane Green, Mary Jane Green, by the way, that's my mother's
name.
I believe you.
Mary Jane Green.
Isn't that a great name?
It's a great name.
Yeah.
So Mary Jane.
He said, it's like, it's a preposterous.
Like there's no way.
Yeah.
You listening to me?
Mary Jane.
Yeah.
She didn't even really, I don't think make the connection to the weed reference
of it until
like later, you know, like, did she partake?
I don't think my mom was a big, uh, Mary Jane Green, uh, partaker actually.
But it's funny that her name is Mary Jane Green and she wasn't a big Mary Jane
Green partaker.
It's almost sad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If she was a pothead, she'd be legendary.
Yeah.
She, she was not a pothead.
Is she still around?
My mom.
Your mom's still around?
Yeah.
My mom is still around.
It's not too late.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we envision a second career for your mom.
Do it.
I mean, I want to see your mom with one of them giant, like LED pot flag chains
hanging
from her neck.
Like one of them flashing.
It could, it could happen.
It could happen.
Imagine.
It could happen.
My mom flips the script.
My mom's really cool.
Like she'll, she, she, it could happen.
I don't think that, I don't think she's.
Why wouldn't you start a marijuana company with your mom's name?
Uh, we've, we, I mean, I, we, we've talked about it, but I don't talk about it.
Mary Jane green.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mary Jane green.
Yeah.
Come on.
We've talked about it.
That shit's perfect.
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you do it?
Uh, I don't really know how to do that.
You need to contact a lawyer people that understand how to make that a reality.
I literally don't need to get some lawyer folk.
I don't know how to start a marijuana company.
Well, you need some venture capital folk and some lawyer folk that know how to
navigate
the, uh, legality.
Yeah.
Cause it's legal in states, but not in all of them.
California's legal though, where you allegedly live.
And so Texas, not legal.
Not legal.
So then, yeah.
Exactly.
So, uh, but California.
Legal.
Yeah.
Uh.
Yeah.
It's almost worth the taxes.
It's like one way or another, no place is perfect.
But it's obviously eventually going to be legal everywhere within.
It really should.
Within like what?
The only reason why.
Two years and two or three years or something.
The only reason why it's not is cause we have a distorted idea of what it is.
And it's the, if the quicker it would be made legal, the quicker people would
be able
to do legitimate research on it and find out why there are these adverse
reactions that
some people have.
Cause that's the, that's the only thing that bothers me.
Reefer madness.
Yeah.
But that's not real.
But there are certain people that have like real issues with pot that other
people don't.
Know.
Okay.
And it's, uh, really?
Yeah.
Schizophrenia is one of them.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
It's, um, there's a guy, right?
He's, uh, uh, an author who came on this.
He's a journalist.
Uh, and he came on this podcast to, uh, debate Mike Hart, who was, um, a, uh,
Canadian doctor
that prescribes weed.
Like he's, uh, he does a lot of work with, uh, you know, medical marijuana
patients and,
uh, Alex Berenson wrote this book on the dangers of marijuana.
And the, it's like, it resonates.
It sounds very real.
And we've all known people like I've known three or four people that tell
stories about,
uh, having, uh, some experience when they're on edibles and then all their
friends say they
snapped and they were, you know, they, they barely recovered after that.
Like some people are fragile with their, their, their chemical, I don't mean to
say fragile.
You remember the first time you got high?
Vulnerable in their chemical makeup.
Do you remember the first time you got high and realized?
Not really the first time, but I remember the first time as an adult.
Cause I really didn't do it for a long time until I was about 30.
And then I started getting high again, but I only got high between 30 and
whenever I first
started doing it, like a handful of times, like four or five times my whole
life until I was 30.
I had never smoked.
Maybe a little more.
I was not much.
I never smoked marijuana in high school.
I was, I was, I was straight edge kid.
I drank quite a bit actually, to be honest with you.
Standard.
Yeah.
That's a good kid.
Yeah.
Out there drinking.
Drank a lot.
But, uh, but, uh, but then, uh, yeah.
So later in life though, you know, it's, yeah.
I discovered it and it was fine.
Yeah.
I just, I think it's a very important that kids brains develop before they get
too much
of anything.
Too much of alcohol, too much of, uh, marijuana, too much of anything.
When you're a kid, that's what's fucked up about this.
Like, I don't want to tell anybody what to do, but when you're a kid and this
is like, again,
I said that I got drunk for the first time.
I was like 15 or 16, like really bad threw up at a car and a cab on the way
home.
Like, I just don't think if you, I think there's something that's going on that
you can't think
of while it's happening with the development of your brain when you're 15 years
old.
There's a bunch of shit going on that you really don't understand.
And I think in some way it's up to the people that have gone through it to
protect you from
the potential negative aspects of all your bad decision-making.
Absolutely.
And that's one of them with drinking and pot and drugs.
That's you want to tell the kids, look, I know.
I don't want to tell you what you can and can't do because I don't want you to
develop this
need to rebel against me.
But you're doing something to your brain before it's done cooking.
Yeah.
And you're also doing something that's incredibly difficult for people to
manage that are mature,
well-developed adults.
Give well-developed adults Adderall.
A lot of them are not very good at managing that.
A lot of them.
Okay.
They get real wacky with Adderall.
Okay.
They start taking it all the time.
That's well-adjusted, educated, with responsibility adults.
Right, right.
And they can get hooked on Adderall.
Okay, okay.
What the fuck do you think is going to happen to a 15-year-old that starts
drinking or doing
coke or smoking pot?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your brain's growing.
Yeah, I agree.
You're not even done.
I think drinking is a fun act of rebelliousness as a teenager, but maybe that's
probably where
it should end.
I think, in a sense, you'd be better off if you could mentor your children to
understand
what drinking is and mentor them in a way where you teach them about the
dangers of over-drinking.
You could do it in a way where you don't even have to get the kids drunk.
You just let the kids know, "Listen, I am a person.
You are a person.
I am older than you.
I'm not better than you.
I've just lived longer."
I am just trying to tell you for your own safety and good that you need to
learn how
to do this because if you just start drinking with no supervision when you're
21 years old
or 18 in some countries, you're going to fuck yourself up.
We would both be way better off, me not having to worry about you, and you with
understanding
the consequences of your actions if we sat down and talked about how to drink.
It's a complex thing.
It's a complex thing.
There's a lot going on.
It's not just like you're out in the world.
You're inebriated.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's also like physically you've got to know what's the dose.
You're a 90-pound woman.
You can't drink 18 drinks.
Your body's not going to be able to handle it.
A 400-pound man has a much larger gap than a person like you or I.
They've got a lot more wiggle room for how much alcohol they consume.
And you've got to start slow.
I definitely figured it out on my own.
Which is part of the adventure of life, you know, like having a few bad nights.
Yeah.
But yeah, it probably would have been better off to have had a little warning
about...
For sure.
If someone just sat you down and said, Tom, Tom, Tom, look at me.
One drink, good.
But here's the problem with two drinks and three drinks and four drinks if you
have them too
quickly.
All of a sudden, you don't know what's good and what's bad.
All of a sudden, you don't know what's drunk and what's sober.
You don't know what's the right move anymore because you're fucked up.
And when you're fucked up, you don't know what to do.
So you've got to avoid getting fucked up.
Right.
You've got to get to the point where you're having a good time, a little chatty,
having
fun, social lubricant.
Right.
And don't...
Don't...
Because if you're, you know, I mean, most people just get lucky and nothing
that bad happens.
But, you know, you lose control when you're...
So, yeah, absolutely.
You could certainly think about it that way.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, you could think about it as just like...
Something bad could happen to anybody, though.
For sure.
So you need to be aware.
Like, yeah, you've got to be careful.
You can't be going and running around just like...
Yeah.
You don't know what you're doing.
Drinking whiskey on, right?
And talking shit on a podcast.
Something bad's going to happen.
Well, you don't know what's going on anymore.
Cheers to that, though.
But...
All of a sudden, you're a fucking whiskey robot.
You know, just...
When you're a 15-year-old kid, the first time you get drunk, you have no
experience to draw
from.
Like, you don't have like a lot of these under your belt.
Like, oh, been there before.
Yeah.
Like, the first time you ever get drunk, I don't...
I wish I could really clearly remember it.
I can.
I can remember mine.
Can you?
Yeah.
I can remember.
So, when I was in Ottawa, Canada...
What's up, Ottawa?
You know, I would go...
We would go in high school to these things called pubs.
And they'd have...
Wait, why do you say things called pubs?
Like, you speak in some strange language that nobody understands?
It wasn't a bar.
It wasn't a bar.
It wasn't an actual pub.
What was it?
It was like somebody would rent out a community center, and they'd be selling...
Like, you could go buy beer, but you're 15.
You're underage.
Oh!
Yeah.
And they called them pubs.
And all the kids went there, and we...
It was a loophole, or was it illegal?
It was illegal, yeah.
Yeah, it was illegal.
So, it was pubs.
It was pubs.
It was...
That was Ottawa, Canada.
We'd go down to Vanier.
What's up, Vanier?
Vanier's part of town in Ottawa.
We'd go down there, and there'd be a...
All the kids from all the high schools would go down there, and you could buy a
beer for
a dollar, or something like that.
When you're saying this, you know what I see in my head?
Yeah.
Snow.
Oh, it was so cold, yeah.
I see cold weather, and slush, and wet boots.
We would take the OC Transpo, Ottawa-Carlton Transpo bus, down through the snow,
and to get
to this part of town, Vanier, to go...
First of all, I want to say, Joe, first of all, I love you, man.
I love you, too.
I love you, man.
I love you, too.
I do.
Thank you for...
Thank you for being here, man.
For having me over here.
And I want to shout out Vanier, because like...
Shout out to Vanier.
Yeah, it's so cool.
Everybody in Ottawa knows Vanier is this great place.
I grew up, basically, very close to there, and, you know, we would...
You know, it's cool.
Ottawa.
Yeah.
No, but...
No, it's cold as hell up there, man.
It's really cold.
Yeah, I envisioned slushy boots.
Oh, yeah.
You're telling that story, I was thinking, "Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay."
Okay, Google this.
Everyone's cold.
Fingers are numb.
Wait, Google this.
Check this out.
Google this.
Jamie, can I ask you to show a photo of something?
Sure.
Is that cool?
Cougar boots.
Cougar boots.
Cougar boots.
You don't mean cougar like the 40-year-old mom trying to get some young dick?
Nope.
Not talking about that one.
You sure?
No, I'm talking about cougar boots.
They're made out of cougars?
No.
So this is my experience as a kid growing from Canada, in the freezing Canada.
This is what was on my feet.
That one, on the brown one, the light brown one, that one.
That looks comfy.
Yeah.
They were comfy.
And they're like, it's not leather.
They're like vinyl boots.
Mm-hmm.
And that was, so when I was in the-
Is this an ad?
Mm-hmm.
Are you doing a cougar boots ad?
Does not exist anymore.
Oh.
No, no.
That's like-
Maybe that's your next move.
That's like Atari 2600 style.
That's like 1992 or something.
That seems like it could come back.
Like we can get retro right now with like Olivia Newton-John.
Let's get physical type ankle puffy things.
I saw the white ones before.
Someone brought it back.
There's some things you could bring back today.
Oh, yeah.
I think people are ripe.
They're ready for headbands.
They're ready.
Joe, man.
Joe, you could bring-
People are ready for some weird shit.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if I had a headband on.
I need to get that sweat off.
I bet you do.
You know what I'm saying?
I bet you do.
Okay.
Can I show you something cool about Canadian, weird Canadian stuff?
That I think you'll appreciate.
You don't have to ask.
Just tell me.
Okay.
Check out the Naboo network.
N-A-B-U?
N-A-B-U.
Yeah.
Check that out.
What is it?
So when in the 80s, we had the internet in Ottawa.
Before anybody.
Yeah, the 80s.
What?
You had the internet in the 80s?
Yeah.
Really?
It wasn't the internet.
It was called the Naboo network.
What is it?
Oh, yeah.
There's Doug Henning.
The magician.
Doug Henning did a commercial for it.
Well, what is it?
It was a network that was run through the cable television system, but it was
the internet,
basically.
What?
And everybody could talk to each other.
Yeah.
Switch on to smart TV.
It was like way earlier than it was anything else.
You talked to people like in a text message to a keyboard?
Yeah.
But they had video games on there too.
You had arcade quality.
You had Dig Dug.
All these like Dig Dug is the one that comes to mind.
But yeah, Track and Field.
You know, the one where you got to shake the fucking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
And all that.
And so Naboo.
There it is.
See, there's the logo there.
The blue logo right down there.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That was like Ottawa Rewind.
The untold story of Ottawa's Coke-fueled 1980s.
I didn't know Ottawa was so edgy with the Coke-fueled 80s.
Oh my God.
That's the Coke-fueled 1980s video game industry.
Wow.
That's what I'm saying though.
That's what I'm saying.
Wait, but hold on.
I didn't partake in that part of it, but I mean.
If you and I.
I wish I had, but it sounds like it was pretty fun, but.
If somebody writes a story about this podcast, they're going to say
marijuana and alcohol-fueled blank.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, that's what they do.
And I hope they do.
This is rude.
These people, they worked hard to make these video games.
Don't blame it on Coke.
Coke-fueled.
No, exactly.
You can't stay on Coke, you assholes.
You can't say it's all Coke-fueled.
You know what it's like if you're on Coke all day long?
I don't, but.
I don't either.
I'm asking you.
I was hoping you had an answer.
I don't actually don't.
It's funny, because I'm not a drug.
I don't do a lot of drugs.
That guy looks like he's on Coke.
Look at that picture.
I mean, I would try drugs if it was allowed to do drugs, but.
He is Coke-ful.
That guy shakes your hand, you want to go to the gym.
Who is that?
Wait, who is that?
No, but here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing, Joe.
Like, it was pretty cool.
Like, it was like interesting.
It was, it was like, you had a box that you would plug into the, into the cable.
It sounds cool.
The cable TV.
Am I, so my dad, my dad, Richard Green, Dick Green.
Okay.
What's.
Mary Jane Green and Dick Green.
Hanging out.
Yeah.
Dick and Mary Jane.
Do you know how crazy that is?
You're not even a real person, are you?
You're like a CIA plant.
Dick.
Everyone has the parents, Dick and Mary Jane Green.
That's right.
What games did you play?
Did you play Pong?
The first might be the best.
I remember playing Pong for the first time.
To this day, Pong hangs in there.
By the way, can I say something about my dad, can I say something about my dad
for a second?
You certainly can.
My dad, Dick Green, was a tank commander.
Okay.
Captain, Canadian army.
All right.
And won the NATO, like artillery, like, uh, armored core, like, uh, best shot,
you know, like, like, like, like competition in Germany against everybody.
Americans, Germans, everybody firing a tank like this.
Like when you're a kid growing up and your dad's like, Oh yeah.
Well, what did you do?
When you, Oh, I was a tank captain.
Right.
Right.
He won.
He won.
My dad actually did this.
Richard Green won this tank, um, shooting competition for NATO for Canada.
Right.
Beat all the other.
Yeah.
Pretty sure.
Pretty sure.
I mean, you go, I want to give you the, again, I see snow.
I see wet boots.
We all have coffee in our hands.
We're listening to this story.
It's true.
I want you to Google it.
I believe you.
Tom, I believe you.
Uh, sometimes people shoot better than other people do and then they made
awards.
I lived in, uh, Petawawa, CFB Petawawa, Canadian forces based Petawawa was
where I grew up.
This thing that your dad won.
Can you explain like how it worked?
Do you, what was the.
They would go out and with the tanks and they would shoot at targets that were
at different ranges and they would, they would.
And your dad was just a wizard at it.
He won.
He used to the plaque at the house.
Won the NATO.
It was like 1971 or something.
No, no, no, no.
Before it, 68 or something.
My father went to Vietnam.
My father went to Vietnam.
My father was in Vietnam with the Canadian, uh, army, uh, uh, as peacekeepers.
Does he have, uh, is your dad still alive?
Yes, he is.
Does he have problems hearing?
Uh, a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little bit, but he's firing off those guns, man.
Yeah.
He does.
Boom.
Yeah.
Boom.
Yeah.
You know, um, my dad has a hearing aids actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It took a while before people realized the, uh, negative impact of firearms.
Yeah.
My father has hearing is for sure.
Yeah.
All my friends though, that grew up with guns.
Yeah.
Like that are my age that they didn't understand hearing protection.
Right.
Absolutely.
Or he ignored it.
Rock and roll stars.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, how many rock stars have like serious ear problems?
Absolutely.
Isn't that crazy?
Like the thing you love is destroying your ears.
We just didn't know.
You got another thing coming.
We just didn't know.
I, I have, I, okay.
So I love this.
Can you imagine?
I have earplugs in my life.
Okay.
In my life, earplugs are part of my life.
Okay.
What percentage of your life are worn earplugs on?
Jamie.
Yes.
Earplugs, earplugs, earplugs are part of my life, man.
Well now, cause you're aware.
I have over the ear headphones.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
And I have internal ear, orange, but those ones don't feel like they were.
But I'm getting at it.
It's like people like your dad and people that grew up before they really
understood.
Yeah.
I've never even thought about that actually until now.
Yeah.
That you mentioned that.
It's a big problem.
Big problem with rock stars.
Um, lead singer of AC/DC recently had a step down.
Right.
Isn't that still correct?
Is he?
I think that's correct.
Let's see if we can.
He hasn't had a loss.
Let me see if he can.
It's a real problem for rock stars, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When rock stars get old, they develop like real problems with their ears.
I mean, you gotta think about being like fucking Gene Simmons and how thousands
and thousands
and thousands of concerts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
He's actually back.
He has, uh, hearing aids now.
Oh, wow.
They fixed his ears.
Who?
Put up the story.
Who did?
Uh, Brian Johnson.
He's the lead singer of AC/DC, son.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, they put a new album out, right?
There it is.
Overcame hearing issues and returned to AC/DC.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
So they gave him some earpieces.
Well, that's good news.
Yeah.
Cause that's a bummer, man.
Imagine, like, you're a fucking rock star and the one thing you can't do is go
out there and
rock.
And you're not only that, you're the lead singer of AC/DC, you know?
I heard that.
That's a wild ass band.
Yeah.
You gotta be.
Well, probably one of the greatest rock and roll bands ever, right?
I mean, when you think about like, if you're like, if you're like right on like
a piece
of paper, rock and roll, and then you put under it, you put the AC/DC logo.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
Rolling Stones.
Come on.
Back in Black.
Goddamn, that's a good song.
There's so, I mean, it's, it's a pro, the problem is you've heard it so many
times.
You don't ever get to hear it with fresh ears, but if you can go and listen to
Back in Black
the first time, I remember the first time I heard it, I guess I was in high
school, somewhere
around then.
I mean, when did Back in Black come out?
Yeah.
What year?
Take a guess.
83?
No.
Must have been, oh, was it not 79 or 80?
I'm fucking wildly guessing.
I don't know.
Probably early 80s, late 70s.
I didn't discover it until I was in high school.
Early 80s or late 70s?
80.
Oh.
80.
So let's put the difference.
We were both kind of in the middle.
That's that music for the time when I first heard it, I was like, holy shit.
Yeah.
You were like, holy shit.
Right.
It had so much impact.
Uh-huh.
When you listen to songs, like, even from songs, like, I couldn't imagine what
it would
have been like to hear Hendrix the first time.
Right.
Like, that's a very famous interaction.
Because you're talking about, at that point, you're talking about like, pure
genius, too.
Well, they hadn't even thought about the idea of being aggressive yet with
music.
Right.
Well, he was pure genius.
Yeah.
Pure.
Like, this weird guitarist.
Before it was all, let's be nice with the music.
All of a sudden, it's like, aggressive.
I'm angry.
Well, it was also...
Was there anger in...
Well, no.
I don't know if you would even say...
Beethoven was angry.
All the old class...
Angry.
Just energetic.
I don't know if you need to say angry.
Like, I think what Hendrix did was...
You could kind of call some of it, like, aggressive, but more, I would say,
energetic.
It's like his energy was just different.
Like, he would play the sounds...
Like, people have a way of making the guitar sound.
It's so interesting.
It's almost like they're using their voice or something.
They're using, like, there's a sound that you can make with a guitar that other
folks can't make.
So, yeah.
Well, I mean, yeah.
So, in my opinion, some people are like...
Are we cheering again?
Yeah.
Cheers.
In my opinion, some people are, like, kind of, like, in the moment more and
they're not thinking...
It's like what we've talked about tonight with, you know, with your inner show
and your incredible success in the show.
Like, Jimi Hendrix had that same kind of energy where he, like, didn't want to
play it the way everybody was supposed to be playing the guitar.
He just wanted to fucking put his energy into it, you know?
Yeah, and he played the way he wanted to.
Yeah.
I don't know how to play guitar at all.
But someone told me, "Jamie, is this... did he play guitar backwards or
something? Like, he had, like, the other hand?"
Left-handed, yeah.
Yeah.
But he played it with his right hand?
Yeah, I think... I'm not sure how it worked.
One of the others?
I think they made a special guitar, so he played it opposite, but...
He played it weird.
Yeah.
He's just a genius.
He just figured it out in a way.
But you... there's certain people that come along where you listen to their
shit.
Like, you listen to Voodoo Child, and you're like, "Oh, my God!"
You listen to him play that song, and you go, "Oh, my God, this guy's in some
place that no guitarist has ever been."
And that's like a guy... and he's, like, inventing, like, you know, rock and
roll in a lot of ways.
You know?
Like, those guitar solos that we hear in every song as we were growing up was
all, like, people being inspired by that, you know?
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
There's always gonna be a guy that's, like, at the head of the pack, and he's
that guy.
Mm-hmm.
He's still, to this day, is that guy.
That's the craziest thing about Hendrix.
If you stop and think about Hendrix, today, like, there's some brilliant guitarists.
There's no doubt.
But when people today think about amazing rock and roll guitar, you think Jimi
Hendrix.
Mm-hmm.
In 2020.
You just do.
It doesn't discredit all the great guitarists that are alive today.
Right, right.
When you think about the guitar, you think about Jimi Hendrix.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Voodoo Child, when it first came out, must have blown people's minds.
Yeah.
What was it, like, '69?
When did Voodoo Child, Slight Return, come out?
He did two versions.
Yeah.
He did a Voodoo Child that was, like, a bluesy, slow version.
It's really cool and spooky.
Yeah.
It came out in '68.
'68.
Have you ever heard the statement that, like, it's -- I've heard it multiple
times, but more
specifically with Jimi Hendrix, that, like, he existed in a world where he
never could hear
Jimi Hendrix play guitar.
Oh, my gosh.
Because he was Jimi Hendrix.
You know, like --
Whoa, that's so deep.
Of course.
Wait, wait, wait.
Did someone say that, or did --
I've heard it said, but, like, specifically -- I've heard it, I think, a couple
other times
about other people, but it sticks out with him.
He got to -- well, I bet he did get to see Jimi Hendrix play guitar.
That's the thing.
That guy was on so much shit.
That's probably how he got to see Jimi Hendrix play guitar.
Probably got to see him from some LSD dimension, many feet away from his carbon-based
body.
But let's not forget, of course, I mean, for me, 'cause I'm, you know, like, 49,
am I?
You tell me.
How old are you now, John?
53.
Are you really?
Yes.
On my way to death.
Halfway there, if I'm lucky.
See, they're coming out with new, weird shit that they're doing in people's
bodies that I have a feeling they're going to be able to extend life far beyond
what we think of as, like, the threshold.
We just have to survive past the threshold.
Yeah.
There was something someone sent me today, a study that showed that hyperbaric
chambers with oxygen therapy -- did you see that?
I saw it last night, yeah.
You saw it?
I figured you'd see it.
Yeah.
Hyperbaric chambers -- I think it's hyperbaric, right?
Mm-hmm.
With oxygen.
With oxygen.
Lowered people's biological age by 20 years.
I don't know.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Yes.
Ninety days, five days a week, nursing.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ninety minutes of treatment, something like that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
He's talking.
Hold on, let him know.
Say what you said, Jamie.
It's like, for 90 days, they did five days a week, 90 minutes of treatment.
And within that time period, I think a lot of these people were 65 and older
had -- however
they measure it with telomeres and all that, 20% or 25 years -- someone in
there younger.
I think it was 20 years younger.
It's 20%.
20%.
And 25 years earlier.
Okay.
20% and 25 years.
So these people -- you know what telomeres are?
It's like -- it's an indication of your biological age or at least one of the
markers.
And the idea is that as the telomeres shrink and shorten as you get older, they
shorten.
And if you can figure out a way to lengthen your telomeres and actually lengthen
your life.
I am way too stupid to know if that's exactly true.
But I do know that it's something that people like Dr. David Sinclair and there's
a lot of like -- people that really concentrate on science and its effect on
telomeres and measuring telomeres -- they think it's a critical part of aging
and anti-aging.
So if something can come along like this where you can get into a hyperbaric
chamber and for 90 days drop your biological age 20 years, we got ourselves a
shark tank business, bitch!
Let's show up.
All of us dressed in fur coats.
Who wants to live forever?
Come on, boys.
Is it possible?
Or --
I don't know.
I'm a moron.
I would imagine those smart people --
No, you say that.
I know you say that on the show and I don't like when you say that.
You should like it.
I'm being honest.
I mean, I'm a moron.
You know you're not.
In comparison to the people that lengthen telomeres, I'm a moron.
There's levels to this game.
Don't say that.
There's levels to this sh--
That's just true.
Nah.
Listen to me.
I know what you're saying.
I'm an honest person.
I'm an honest person.
I am definitely a moron.
You gotta trust me.
I'm just not dumber than everybody.
I appreciate that you're being humble, but you are not a moron.
No, I'm telling you, I'm a moron.
I've met people that are really, really fucking smart.
It's like, you know how people -- like, you know there's something that you
know how to do, something --
You've met people that are really smart.
You're smarter than them.
Yeah, I know people.
You're smarter than them.
No, I know people that are actually smart.
You're smarter than them.
No, I'm not.
Yeah.
You're smarter than most people.
Dude, you're so wrong.
And it's been frustrating for you, probably.
You gotta trust me.
No.
Because you're smarter than most people.
You're smart.
You're very, very, very, very, very hyper.
No, I'm crazy.
I'm trying to tell you.
There's smart people and there's crazy people.
Okay.
Crazy people don't have as many fears and they get more shit done because they're
not worried
about the consequences.
Smart people figure out how to fix things.
Okay.
Those are the smart people.
All right.
Isn't there something you do that someone doesn't really do and they think they're
good at
it and you get a little annoyed?
Say maybe there's a sport that you've done for a long time and someone just
picks it up
and they think they can kick ass at it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Not really.
I'm not that good at anything.
I love that with intelligence too.
Because there's people that barely, people like myself, that barely work at
being smarter.
Barely work at being smarter.
Barely.
Yeah.
And to compare them to people whose entire lives are based on intellectual
discipline.
Right, right, right.
Is rude.
And there's a difference.
Because you're talking to all these incredible people that literally are really
thinking about
really complex ideas at a level that is kind of not really easy to explain to
the average
person.
So you can't put that in a box and send it out there.
Well, that's where Neil deGrasse Tyson is so important, right?
Right.
Because he's a guy who's really good at taking those insanely complex ideas
about the cosmos
and explaining them in a way that you can grasp if you have regular, you know,
just a regular
person.
Yeah.
High school education.
You can grasp what he's saying.
Oh, so he'll resonate with people 15 to 50 to 55,000 years old.
Right.
He's a, he bridges that.
I follow him on Twitter.
Yeah.
I love him.
I've never, I've never met him.
What do you think the oldest that people will ever figure out how to make
people, I was
joking about 55,000, but do you think there's ever going to be a time where
people can live
a thousand years?
Oh yeah, for sure.
Within our lifetime, you think?
No.
Would you want to?
Uh, yes, I would.
Imagine how bored you'd be 800 years in dealing with 20 year olds.
I'm bored.
I'm bored.
Imagine if you had a 20 year old son, you're 800.
You know what?
You're right.
He's fucking crazy.
I was going to say I'm bored now, but I'm not bored now because I'm sitting
here on this
with you.
Cheers.
I'm not bored now.
I'm not bored either.
I think you could tell me that like a thousand years.
Yeah.
I mean, eventually we, we might run out of stuff to talk about, you know?
This is my, my, my thought.
I mean, I don't know if I want to live to be a thousand.
A thousand years.
It's like, okay, we've talked about the absurdity of this or that enough times,
you know?
Maybe people figure it out after a thousand years.
Um, Michelle Wolf was telling me yesterday that I didn't know.
Was it, uh, FDR served three terms?
Wait, Michelle Wolf yesterday?
Yeah.
Oh.
Was it FDR?
She is so hilarious.
Love her.
I love her.
That's so cool.
She's awesome.
So she was in Austin yesterday?
Yeah.
She was in Austin with Chappelle.
Oh, wow.
That's so cool.
I think she said it was FDR served three terms.
Yes.
Yeah.
I was like, I did not know that.
So she was saying that's one of the reasons why he got, he was able to get so
much shit done.
Like that makes sense.
That's interesting.
That was, uh, he served three terms.
He actually won four elections though.
He won four elections.
At the very top of his Wikipedia says a member of the Democratic Party, he won
a record four presidential elections.
Whoa.
What does that mean?
So you can do one and then come back a couple of years later and do another one?
How many years were they back then?
Because three doesn't make sense if it's 10 years.
Cause I think he, she was saying he served for 10 years.
Uh, so I believe what happened, I'm trying to remember this.
This is part of the history thing.
I think he was the vice president for one president.
And so he stepped in and finished out one, then won the next election and then
won another one.
There's so few people, so few people that can hold that office and not make you
worry that they got it.
I'll go.
Oh, he's got it.
That guy's got it.
There's a few guys in their office, like say whatever you want about Bill
Clinton.
When Bill Clinton was the goddamn president of the United States of America,
you might've thought he's doing creepy shit and running around getting his dick
sucked and madness.
And maybe even a few people got offed.
I didn't think about any of that back then.
That's all come up in recent years.
Back then we weren't even thinking about that shit.
I felt like he had it, you know, like he's so smart.
Bill Clinton is so, he's so clever with words.
It's nice when you feel like, okay, somebody's looking after everything.
So we can go like, you know, tell jokes and do podcasts.
And it's nice when you feel like someone smarter than you.
Yeah.
Has the wheel.
Uh huh.
That's the problem.
Yeah.
The people that have the wheel are not smarter than you.
You're like fuck.
Well, you know, sometimes they are smarter than you and sometimes they're not,
you know, and it goes back and forth.
And it's-
And just got accepted?
It's pretty bizarre when you get to our age and you realize, oh my gosh, like
they're just like those, you know, like when you talked about like you go to
the show and there's people with the clipboards around and everybody's around.
Yeah.
There's a lot of that.
That's how the world runs.
Well, there's a lot of people that want to be leaders that maybe probably
shouldn't be, but in their head they want to be.
It's just the world's run the same way.
So it's a bunch of people sitting around trying to like, you know, I don't know.
I don't know.
What are you going to do?
You know, I'm trying to ignore it, Joe.
I honestly am.
I'm trying to ignore it.
And I want to, and I'll say this.
Um, yeah, no, let me say this for real.
Like, I like how you just re braced yourself changed for real posture for real.
Cause what I'm doing right now is shirt over and everything.
No, yeah, for sure.
For sure.
Okay.
No, I mean like, uh, you know, we just have to, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
traveling around and in my van with my dog.
Who was chopper chopper.
Who's gone to sleep.
What a great dog, right?
She's awesome.
She's gone to sleep and we're having a great time.
And, uh, yeah, you just have to, uh, you know, I just really, I'm trying to be
positive.
You know, I'm trying to be positive.
The you there's, there's, there's been so much negativity in our world in the
last few years.
And every, you know, everybody's sort of been told, Oh, I got to think this way,
or I got to think this way.
And there's this anger towards each other.
And I just think, I think, you know, this, this election, more people voted.
More people voted than ever voted.
You know that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm hoping that also sets a trend in motion where more people are running for
office that maybe could have a better idea of what people want than what they're
experiencing right now.
I think you are a big part of this, Joe.
That's not helpful.
I really do though.
I really do.
I think you are a big part of this.
And, um, and, and, and, uh, I, I, I, I.
Only for people who listen.
And that's not a big part of the world.
No, I think it is a big part.
And I think it's an important part because I think that, you know, listen, like,
uh, let's just be good to each other.
Let's all be positive and be good to each other.
I know it sounds so cliche, right?
But it really is the way to do it.
You don't have to be embarrassed about being good to your fellow man.
But we're all worried that other people aren't going to be good to us back.
And so we're like ready to be shitty.
Yeah.
Don't worry about that.
That's where MDMA comes in.
So what I want to do is a long-term trial of MDMA across the United States of
America for where everybody just gets a little taste.
So that's.
Imagine if you ran on that platform.
I've never done MDMA.
MDMA for everybody.
I've never done MDMA.
Is that, what is, it's, um, it's, is that, uh.
It's ecstasy.
Ecstasy.
Yeah.
I've never done ecstasy.
It's pretty potent stuff.
Really?
Yeah.
It's also not great for your brain.
Like after, uh, I did it.
And then the next day I was like, oh my God, I'm so dumb.
Like my brain was dried out.
Really?
It felt like a sponge that someone just rang dry.
Uh huh.
But then after a couple of days it goes away and you're like, oh, let's try
that again.
That was pretty fun.
I didn't know you really take five HTP.
There's a thing you could take a nutrient five HTP and actually, uh, it's, uh,
it boosts your body's ability to.
I've never done ecstasy by the way.
Ever?
Yeah.
I'm telling you right now, like on the record, I've never done it.
What if you did it alone in the woods?
I am telling you right now, I would.
In your van.
I would do it, but I'm not saying I wouldn't do it.
I don't, I'm not judge passing judgment, but I've never done it.
Actually.
That's true.
That's a fact I've never done.
I've never done ecstasy and I would do ecstasy, but I've never done it.
Sounds like you're asking for ecstasy.
You're asking for ecstasy.
If I was a cop, I'd want to arrest you right now.
I'm like, this motherfucker's asking for people to give him ecstasy.
I am not.
Say, do you got any?
I know people who have it.
Yeah.
No, I'm not asking for it.
No, I'm not.
It's a tricky drug.
You don't want to be happy for no reason.
But it is true that I've never done it, by the way.
That's true.
I think I heard that.
Yeah.
That's what I heard.
You got any?
I heard you never did it.
I can't imagine it would be probably a lot of fun though.
I could imagine it would be.
It's supposed to be very therapeutic for soldiers.
Yeah.
Soldiers returning with PTSD.
Apparently MDMA is very, very good for them and overcoming some of the
situations they experienced.
Can I say something about the Canadian military?
Okay.
You going to put your hat on?
Okay.
You got to move the hat.
Getting excited.
You don't have to put it on.
Just kidding.
So check this out, Joe.
Canadian military.
Canadian, sorry.
These boots.
I made for walking.
Can I show you this?
Yes.
Okay.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Check this out.
See these boots?
I don't think Jamie can see them though.
Can you see them?
Okay.
Where's your...
Check that out.
Yeah.
It's a boot.
Seriously.
Can you show that?
This is going to be cool.
Check this out.
Check this out.
These are Canadian army boots.
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
I wore these.
You know, I got them when I went to Afghanistan and did a...
Yeah.
I went and did a tour with the Canadian army.
Dad.
My dad was in Canadian army.
My dad Canadian army.
And, you know, check it out, man.
Like, these are good boots.
I'll tell you right now.
Are you telling me about your boots?
Yeah.
Is this what we've come to?
Canadian army boots.
Maybe we should wrap this up.
Yeah.
They're boots, right?
What do they have?
Like rubber, leather, a lot of shit like that?
Yeah.
They're comfortable.
Laces.
Really comfortable.
Yeah.
Okay.
You're right.
It probably is a good time to wrap.
It probably is.
Why are you showing off your boots?
Can I have another pump of that?
Yeah.
Sure.
When you're showing people your army boots and say, you really need to get on
this.
You know what?
These army boots are like super special.
They're boots.
They're from Canada.
Canadian.
You're like, you're a little proud of our Canadian.
You know, we have a lot of stuff in Canada that people don't talk about.
They don't talk about it in America because, but you know, like, like, you need
a song.
Well, I'm proud to be a Canadian.
Right.
Where I'm kind of sort of free.
Yeah.
Very free.
Very free.
Very free.
Sort of free.
Very free.
You don't have a first amendment though, right?
No.
Well, I mean, no, you don't.
Um, you know, the story about Mike Ward comedian who, uh, yeah, I do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In trouble.
And then there was another guy who got in trouble who was, um, involved in a
heckling situation
where these women were heckling him.
He said horrible shit to them and they sued him.
And then they won in court.
Yeah.
It's a different sort of a situation over there.
It was like they were insulting each other back and forth and he's on stage
doing standup.
And he, he wind up losing a shitload of money.
Yeah.
Remember that Jamie?
There was like, I believe he was Vancouver, Vancouver.
Montreal.
Montreal.
He was Montreal.
Yeah.
That was Mike Ward.
Montreal.
Yeah.
This guy was a different guy.
The guy.
Oh, okay.
This guy, I believe was BC.
Oh, okay.
The one who lost the lawsuit to the ladies in the audience who were heckling
him.
So they were heckling him.
I had not heard about that actually.
I know Mike though, but Mike's a good guy.
Yeah.
I met Mike.
He's funny as fuck by the way.
Yeah.
No, no.
Like Mike is hilarious.
I did a podcast with Mike.
Hilarious.
And I want to shout out to Mike Ward.
Yeah.
Um, lesbian wins 22.
Why do they have to say lesbian?
That's not Mike, by the way.
Jesus Christ.
But this is, isn't that fucked up?
They look, but, but hold on a second.
Guy Earl's the name of the comic, but look what it says.
Lesbian wins 20, $22,500 over comedians insults.
Lesbian.
How about woman?
That's a weird headline.
I mean, I gotta admit.
I gotta admit that's a weird headline.
That is an identity politics headline.
Lesbian wins money.
Oh, we know which side you should be on Tom.
I not on the side of jokes.
I got it.
I honestly have no comment on that.
I don't even know what's going on with that.
You should not be on the side of defending yourself against hecklers or trying
to ruin a show.
No, you should be on the side of the lesbians.
I think it was actually in all fairness, because one of the things that he said
about her was that she was a dyke or something like that.
I think it was just like one of those situations that I'm sure you've
experienced at comedy shows where people are drunk and they're yelling shit.
Wait, Joe, Joe, Joe.
Audience members.
Your shirt.
Iron Mike Tyson, Roy Jones Jr.
Yeah, next week, man.
Tell me about this, because I actually don't know.
November 28th.
I actually don't know.
I don't know a lot about that.
You didn't know about this fight?
Well, I know about it.
I do know about it.
Yes, I do.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm just not as in tune with the history of fights.
I mean.
Well, they're two of the all-time greats.
And listen, they're both in great shape.
Roy Jones Jr. has this crazy footage on his page.
Yeah.
Israel Adesanya added to Mike Tyson's versus Ward Jones.
What?
Alex.
Oh, no shit.
Alongside Sugar Ray Leonard.
Oh, my God.
And Al Bernstein.
That's an amazing lineup.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
That's a great idea.
They're smart.
They're on the ball.
First of all, Stylebender is the biggest superstar in the UFC right now.
So to have him, him and Khabib Nurmagomedov, the two biggest superstars in the
UFC for sure.
And Jon Jones.
Well, there's a lot of superstars.
But the point is like having him be on a Mike Tyson card automatically boosts
it up.
And Larry Merchant.
Or no, Al Bernstein.
Al Bernstein, right?
Not Larry Merchant.
Right.
Al Bernstein's an awesome boxing commentator.
And it's a weird fight because everybody wanted to see that fight.
There was talk of that fight back when Roy Jones won the heavyweight title.
He beat John Ruiz.
And he was like about 200 pounds.
And Tyson in his prime was like 215, 225 in that range.
And they had talked about those two fighting and it never came to play.
So to see it happen when one is 54 and one is 51, it's crazy.
But Roy Jones looks insane, man.
I know everybody talks about how good Tyson looks.
And Tyson looks incredible.
The videos of Tyson hitting the pads.
And he's doing it with Rafael Cordero, who's this very well-respected MMA
striking coach.
Rafael Cordero is legendary in the sport of MMA.
Right.
He runs King's Academy.
Yeah.
King's MMA in Orange County or Huntington Beach.
Where's King's MMA?
I've seen him in Hollywood.
I think their base is like Huntington.
Anyway, Rafael Cordero has been training Mike Tyson.
And there's all these videos of Mike Tyson hitting the pads.
And it's fucking insane.
He's so fast.
Right.
He looks so good.
It's crazy.
But then you've got to watch the Roy Jones Jr. clips.
There's Roy Jones Jr. clips that were put up over the last couple of days that
are Roy ramping up for the fight.
He's 51.
He's 51.
You can't believe how fast his hands are.
At 51.
He's like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
He's throwing all these combinations.
He's like, oh my God.
You forget.
Like his song.
You like rap music?
Y'all must have forgot.
He's got a song.
Really?
Yes.
Roy Jones Jr. when he was in the middle of beating the fuck out of everybody.
Yeah.
When he was the number one pound for pound fighter on the planet with no
questions asked.
Yeah.
He was also making rap music.
Really?
Yes.
Really?
Yeah.
Y'all must have forgot.
Damn.
Oh, just about what a beast he is.
Well, listen.
He should be.
It's an interesting fight, man.
It's interesting because some people are against it.
They're like, I don't want to see these guys fight.
I don't want to see these guys get hurt.
But listen, that has been their whole business.
Look how good Roy Jr.'s hands look.
Is this one of the recent ones over the last few days?
The most recent.
Look how fucking fast his hands are, man.
Right, right, right.
Oh, this is like a CBD ad.
Yeah.
What kind of CBD is it?
Oh, this is his company.
That's what it is.
Oh, okay.
Left hook CBD.
No bullshit.
Roy Jones Jr.'s left bicep is 30% larger than his right bicep.
It's weird to look at, right?
Why?
Wasn't it weird, Jamie?
It freaks you out.
It might be more than 30%.
I might be selling it short.
That's his punching hand?
His left is his front hand, and he throws a lot of hooks, so his bicep is
really big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's enormous.
He jokes around about how much bigger it is than his right one.
You look at the tube and be like, oh my god.
So when you got into UFC and fighting, do you enjoy that?
Well, yes, I do enjoy it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what do you do?
Like, hey, next week, let's go spar in the gym?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let's go fight?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I still do little jujitsu rolling, but I don't spar, like, striking anymore.
So how's that?
Like, do you do that, though?
Like, you go fight with people?
No, no.
No, like in an organized, you know?
Listen, when you have gloves on and you hit each other in the head.
It sounds like it would be fun as hell.
I've never done that in my life, by the way.
I'm trying to tell you it's not good for you.
Don't do that.
You should do that if that's what you want to do for a career or if you're
young and you want to see how good you can get at it, but when you get to a
certain point in your life, you shouldn't be getting hit in the head anymore.
Right.
Because getting hit in the head is like getting poked in the eyes.
Right.
You don't get stronger.
Like, you know, we're talking about eyes.
As you get older, your eyes, even if you work out hard with them, they actually
fall apart.
Yeah.
It's not like any other system in your body where you can train it to be
stronger.
You can train your muscular system.
You can train like a lot.
A lot of the things you do, like you get a, you get it like a pathway grooved
where you know exactly how, like martial arts are that way, where you know
exactly how to do it.
And as you do it longer and longer in your life, you get better at doing it.
Not with your eyes and not with getting hit in the head.
Those are two things when they have something happens bad to your eyes or
something happens bad to your head.
It does not get better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It does not.
But if you keep getting hit in the head, it's going to get worse and worse and
worse.
Yeah.
So don't spar.
That's what I'm telling you.
Yeah.
That's, that's, I love that.
Cause it's like, you know, that's a, you know, I mean.
People think that they, that it's just sparring, but it's, you're getting hit
in the head.
You're calling it just sparring and it is just sparring.
Some sparring I think is important.
I've never done that.
I've never done that.
Like, and I, now that I think about it, I haven't thought about this before.
It sounds like that would be probably pretty exciting and fun thing to do.
But I have been punched in the head a few times, Joe.
I'm sure you have.
I believe that.
Maybe once or twice.
I think most men, by the time you get to be a certain age.
Maybe once or twice.
Something's hit you in the head.
Not more than 10 times, but.
But all my, my point is, and this is not to diminish anybody who loves sparring.
If you love sparring, just like if you love riding a dirt bike, go ahead and do
it.
I'm not, I want you to do whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah.
For some people, the value of sparring and getting that aggression out is worth
whatever brain damage they might get.
Or it's like skateboarding too.
It's about risk.
It's about risk.
We have, we love to, we need to take a risk because it makes us feel like, you
know, like we're alive.
Yeah.
We're not taking a risk, you know.
So, so that's what it is.
I think it's a freedom issue too.
Like you should be free to get punched in the head.
Right.
If you want to do it.
Yeah.
If you and your buddy want to get together and punch each other in the head.
Yeah.
Nobody should be able to stop you.
Absolutely.
But as your friend, I want to tell you that you have to think about getting hit
in the head
differently than is the standard narrative amongst men that don't think about
it.
Yeah.
The thing is like, don't be a pussy.
Put your gloves on.
Listen, if you get hit in the head too much, your brain doesn't work well
anymore.
It just stops, it stops functioning at a high level.
I start developing all sorts of problems.
I, I don't, yeah.
So, oh my gosh.
You want some coffee?
No, I'm good, dude.
Yeah, I, yeah.
Don't spar, Tom Green.
That's what I'm saying to you.
Yeah.
And, and, and don't listen to me.
If you want to spar, go ahead and spar.
Yeah.
For some people it's better for them because they don't feel depressed.
Like they can get their, their exertion out and sparring and they're fine with
it for
now.
And they're just going to deal with that.
I get it.
But it's just, it's, there's a reality of getting hit in the head too many
times.
Yeah.
There's only so many you have in you.
Yeah.
It's better a thing to avoid.
Before the wheels fall off.
Yeah.
Don't avoid it if, if you can.
Yeah.
I, uh, yeah.
And yeah, well, listen, I mean, it's, it's, uh, I, I probably have been in a
few of those,
I mean, Joe, this is good.
Um, can I, uh, bring Charlie back into the equation for a second?
You must.
Charlie.
What do you want to bring her back to the equation for?
By the way, her new name is Chopper.
I thought we were just talking.
Chopper.
Chopper.
Um, I don't have to, but.
I don't know why I thought your dog was Chopper.
Yeah.
Where did I come?
Where did I get that one from?
Did someone say it?
I feel like someone said it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I might've, I might've said it.
Don't be nice to me.
Listen, if I made it up, let me know I made it up.
I'm not worried.
This, this dog is so cool.
I agree.
Yeah.
I feel really.
You're a salesman for a product I've already bought.
Yes.
This dog.
Well, you know what?
I'm happy about how much, how nice this doggy is.
I was just a good, she's a good girl.
She's a young puppy that got really lucky.
She's a good girl.
She's a good girl.
I can tell by the way you guys cuddle.
You guys cuddle a lot.
She loves you.
She's a nice doggy.
And Joe.
Do you have any plans to do another comedy special?
I can't wait to do one.
Yeah?
Yeah.
When do you think you'll be comfortable enough to get in front of crowds?
Um, like tonight?
Yeah, sure.
Really?
Yeah.
What would we have to do to get you on stage tonight?
Well, just ask me to come with you.
Is there a show going on?
But what, you wouldn't be worried to get into a big COVID soup?
I would be, but it's Joe Rogan asking me to go to a show in Austin, so that's
different.
No, we don't have a show tonight.
I would make an exception.
If I had a show tonight, I would do it.
I just, I did a show last night for the first time in a week.
All right, cool.
And the show before that I did the first time in July.
Yeah, but if you were serious tonight right now, I would, of course, yeah.
My point is like, you're comfortable doing a show.
If you did a show tonight-
No, not at all.
Okay.
No, not at all.
But you'd take a risk?
Some small amount of risk?
Yeah.
If, like, right now there was a show, I'd go do a show, yeah, because it'd be
hilarious.
We'd, let's go, you know, we'd go have a good time.
It'd be great.
But I would not plan on going out.
I'm not trying to go do stand-up right now.
You're going to wait for the vaccine?
Yes.
Yeah.
That's what I'm doing.
I hope it works.
That's what I'm doing.
Dr. Stockis a couple of days ago and he was telling us about the vaccine and
how it would
work.
And I'm like, if it was proven to be effective and safe, I'd take it.
Yeah.
But I would want to know, man.
I want to talk to those doctors.
Mm-hmm.
Want to know, tell me what you did.
You get the flu shot?
No.
I get the flu shot every year.
Congratulations, Tom Green!
Yeah.
How's that immune system?
I like the flu shot.
When was the last time you got the flu?
I haven't had it since I started getting the flu shot.
Wow.
I used to get it all the time.
Coincidence?
No, no, no.
It was instantly.
As soon as I started getting the flu shot, I never got the flu again.
Jamie, when was the last time you got the flu?
It did exactly what it said it was supposed to do.
I don't know.
I don't know if I honestly ever even had it now that I've heard how bad it is.
Oh, I get it every year.
I go down to the CBS, boom, boom, 26.
And you never get the flu because you get the flu shot.
So, yeah.
So...
Makes sense.
So, well, this is what happened, okay?
You'll appreciate this, okay?
This is...
Okay.
So, I guess it was like, when I started doing stand-up again, I was going out
on the road
every weekend.
Right.
I would get the flu every year.
And then I decided to start taking the flu shot and I never got the flu again.
But, yeah.
So, yeah.
I think it works.
Yeah.
Well, that's anecdotal evidence, Tom Green.
And I'm going to take it into account.
We're going to go over this and apply it to all the other data and we'll get
back to you.
Exactly.
I believe your flu shot theory.
Yeah.
Might be a crack of shit.
Yeah, it's...
No, I think flu shots are probably great.
But I also think that keeping your immune system strong is great.
Yeah.
I think you got to be on the ball.
And I think people don't want to hear that shit.
I need to know...
They want to be able to just go to the doctor and get it fixed.
I need...
Exactly.
I need to know...
Like, I do need to be more aware of how to look after myself physically.
Like, you know, what am I supposed to be doing?
Well, you know, there's a simple body weight exercise program that you could do
while you're
out in these remote locations.
You don't need anything.
I have weights with me.
Oh, do you?
Yeah.
You know what sometimes is even better than weights?
I got two 25 pound dumbbells.
Oh, that's good.
And I just do that.
Sometimes what's even better than weights is bands.
But I do it like once every seven days, I'll do it.
You know what I mean?
It's not like a...
I'm not being very attentive to my health, to be honest with you.
How come?
Come on and talk on that microphone, Tom Green.
Well, you know, I mean, I...
All right.
Well, you know, listen, I'm...
I don't know.
It's weird.
You think about everything that's going on in the world all the time.
Yeah.
It rattles around in your head and you start to think like...
Are you an empathic person?
Are you an empath?
Well, you know, I mean, in what sense?
Are you like...
I don't know if I'm using that word correctly.
Isn't that...
When you say an empathic person, someone who's like deeply in tune to other
people's suffering.
I think that's how I'm trying to use it.
Yes.
Is that a correct definition?
I think so.
I think I am, yes.
I think I am, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
The answer is yes.
Okay.
A positive word for a sensitive person.
Yeah.
Showing an ability to understand and share feelings of another.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think that's...
So you're...
That is...
I think that is what I am, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You seem like that kind of a guy.
Yeah.
So like when shit is awful.
Like when you say, "Can we all just get along?"
Some people say it and there's not a...
You have a real sincerity to the way you're saying it.
It's like you really do want everybody to...
Like your happiness would be enhanced if people were getting along better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, everybody should...
We should all just be having a good time.
I think we need to embrace those ideas.
I think that if there's anything that we can do as individuals, like as...
Because society is so whack right now.
It's just so out of tune.
But the only thing that we can do to each other is like create the minimal
amount of damage.
Like be as nice to each other as we can.
I'm not saying stop joking around.
I'm not saying just keep your mouth shut and don't talk about things you know
that are wrong.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying there's ways in most of what we interact...
Most of the ways we interact with each other where we could be nice to each
other.
We have to just think of ourselves as being in this together.
You're not a Republican.
You're not a Democrat.
You're a fucking human being.
And this idea that you have to be on that side or this side.
You have to support him or him or her or what the fuck ever.
You don't.
You need...
Most of these people that are talking about politicians and these ideas that
they're fighting over as like a cornerstone of their life.
They don't even really deeply understand the people they're talking about.
The people that they support.
There's a lot of things they're missing.
It's just the person syncs up with a good enough idea.
That's my team.
I'm a fucking Raiders fan.
Dolphins can suck my ass!
And next thing you know you're looking at it the same way a sports fan does.
And that's what most people do.
Right.
And I think it's fucking nonsense.
You just have to have shit in your own.
Like we all have these weird competitive drives and instincts.
That's why people love to get dedicated to teams.
You want the fucking Buccaneers to go out there and kick some ass.
Right.
They get really dedicated to it.
It means a lot to them.
Yeah.
It feels good to them.
Yeah.
But it's a trap.
Yeah.
It's a trap.
And it's the same trap that leads you to Republican versus Democrat.
Yeah.
That same goddamn trap.
It's not good for any of us.
And most of the argument is started out with you're on that side.
This person's on the other side.
And then you're like well they can't be right because they're not over here.
And then you become married to you being right.
And they become married to them being right.
And you're just duking it out.
And people will lie and fucking manipulate to try to win the argument.
And that's more common than not.
That's the weirdest thing about us.
And this is like the basest most primate level of like screaming at each other.
That is all happening right now.
Just filtered through really sophisticated law and language and behavior in
Congress and
the Senate.
And it's all the same thing.
It's just like this.
Yeah.
And they're duking it out.
They're all duking it out.
The left and the right.
The news anchors.
The fucking.
The people on MSNBC and Fox News.
And everybody's like.
All super ineffective ways of communicating.
Everybody's screaming into the night.
Doesn't it seem like that kind of.
That's what it is.
Seems like that's what it is.
Kind of right.
It's not a good way to handle this.
Oh my gosh.
It's not a good way to handle this.
The best way to handle this is for everybody to just agree to be nice.
Yeah.
Start from that.
Yeah.
Start from that.
Let's go over the differences.
Let's go over the issues that we.
How much money do you think should go to education?
All right.
And why?
Let's look.
Why is it?
Why is education so cheap to you?
Yeah.
How much do you think it costs to pay a teacher?
How much should it cost?
Like, is it a matter of how much you don't want to give up in taxes?
Or is it a matter of how much a teacher is actually worth?
Yeah.
Because we got a lot of things that we would all agree on.
If we could put it into a perspective of this is how much is actually going to
impact you
in terms of how much you have to pay.
This is much how it can actually impact you into how much your, the actually
quality of life,
the quality of life in your community is, how much it gets improved.
I think most people would be willing, if they were absolutely certain,
to know that the quality of their life would improve and where they live,
if they could just add more to the tax pool, they would probably do it happily.
Most people.
If they really thought that it would enhance everybody, that we're all on the
same side.
I agree with that.
People think they're getting fucked.
That's part of the problem.
They think they're getting fucked and they think they're getting manipulated.
Why do they think that?
Because, well, let's go with California.
I don't think that.
In California, when you're paying 13% in taxes, you're like, where's my money
going?
How come you can go to Nevada and you pay zero?
How come I drive an hour that way and I pay zero?
Like, what am I doing here?
Why am I paying so much money?
Right.
A lot of people think like that.
Sure.
Sure.
It makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess, you know, I don't know.
I personally just kind of, you know, I was driving here today.
Right?
Austin, Texas.
I believe you.
And this guy at the freeway and people asking for money on the side of the freeway.
And you're like...
Tell him to get a job?
No, I did not.
You know?
I did not.
I feel bad that we have to have that going on in our world, you know?
Yes.
It's very unfortunate whenever you see it, because what it represents to me is
a baby that grew
up and became a person that finds themselves on the side of the road asking for
money.
Yeah.
And I don't know what's nature and I don't know what's nurture.
I don't know what is drug addiction.
I don't know what's abuse.
I don't know what gets a person to that point.
I don't know their life.
But when I see them, that's what makes me sad.
Yeah.
What makes me sad is that a person would get to this position and not have
anybody to turn
to, not have anybody they can rely on, not have anybody they love that loves
them back.
Yeah.
That's what that is.
Yeah.
If you see a person on the street, you're dealing with either drug addiction or
a person
who doesn't have anybody who really loves them, and they never even grew up
with someone
who loves them, so they don't understand love, they're bad at relationships,
they're bad at communication,
and they find themselves under a fucking overpass somewhere.
Yeah.
I think that should be something that we're all more aware of and we have
empathy towards
people.
Right.
When you look at a city.
That are in that situation.
When you look at a city like Los Angeles, for example, that's filled with tents.
Yeah.
You're failing these people.
Yeah.
Whatever you're doing to take care of, if you really want to be empathetic
towards people
that are homeless, or the people that are down on their luck, or people that
are downtrodden,
you've got to fix that.
I don't know how to do it.
Yeah.
I'm a comedian.
You fix it.
You have to come up with ideas to fix it.
You can't let it get worse every year, because it just keeps getting worse.
LA is bananas right now.
Mm-hmm.
Since you've left, how many tents do you think they've popped up?
Yeah, I understand.
One million.
One million new tents.
Okay.
I just made that number up.
Yeah.
Really?
Well, I will say, like, it is sad when you drive around in the city, and you're
in this
beautiful city, Los Angeles, with all its history and everything, and it's a
beautiful
place, and there's people sleeping under this.
Yeah.
It's a bar.
Under the bridge in a tent.
You're like, man, come on, you know?
You know what happens though, man?
Let's get this together, people.
We should be able to help these people.
Right.
But you know what happens?
These people develop communities.
Mm-hmm.
And then they're all hanging out together on this, like, tent strip.
And they know each other.
Yeah.
You know?
It's not ideal.
But then they started thinking about these people that are in apartments,
working shitty
jobs, hating their lives.
And they're like, I don't know if this is any better or worse.
A lot of people have that perspective.
You could live on the beach in Santa Monica.
Yeah.
Set up a tent.
Yeah.
Like, you don't need much if you're one of those dudes.
There's a lot of dudes out there like, I don't need much.
I don't even have shoes.
Yeah.
Like that.
I'm living in a van down by the river now, so.
That's why I brought it up.
Yeah, yeah.
You're closing in on that.
I don't need much sort of thing.
Yeah.
No, absolutely.
I mean, and it's funny how Charlie has been so quiet.
Has she been like the best dog?
She's an awesome dog.
I know a dude who started out doing what you were doing and then eventually
just decided
to travel.
He's a fitness guy, Steve Maxwell.
Mm-hmm.
Eventually just traveled all over the world.
Started out of his van.
Stopped living in his van.
Yeah.
And started living in hotels and living wherever he gets hired to do gigs.
Yeah.
Just travel all over the world doing that.
Yeah.
Teaching fitness.
Wow.
That's stuff.
Gave up on all his worldly possessions.
Fuck it.
He lives out of a bag on his back.
Wow.
Is he, yeah, I mean, that's, I mean, listen, it's fun to be able to explore the
planet.
Do you like going to like other places?
Do you like going to like new countries?
Yeah, I do.
What's your favorite country that you've been to?
Hmm.
Maybe Italy.
Okay.
Yeah.
Because I got a chance to go to the Vatican and you see the art collection.
Oh, that's cool.
And you wander around that place and just think of what kind of insane history
it was.
Wow.
In that time of the world where Rome was conquering everything.
And you get to, I've been to, you know, I went to Rome and saw the Colosseum
and you're
standing in this place where for who knows how many hundreds of years gladiators
fought
to the death.
And you're just thinking about how bananas this whole situation must have been
when this
place was filled and they would lift up the fucking bottom of the floor and
there'd be
a tiger and a dude with a sword and fight off a tiger.
Like what the fuck, man?
Like this was, this really happened.
And then you also see the beauty in their artwork.
Yeah.
And it's, uh, there's something about Italy also because I'm Italian.
So it makes me think of, uh, my ancestors, you know, someone wandering around
this weird
place.
Like you guys were freaks.
I was like, no wonder I fucked up.
You guys were freaks.
You were, you guys were freaks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a, that's incredible.
The, the, the Colosseum is bananas.
Yeah.
You just sit there and you thinking like, how many years did people entertain
themselves
with other people getting slaughtered?
Hmm.
Like I read some insane statistic about how many people died in the Colosseum
over the many
hundreds of years that it was around.
Wait, how many was it?
I forget.
I think I, it was hundreds of thousands.
It's too many.
It was an estimation.
I don't know if the estimation was even.
No amount would be too many, but I mean, it was too many.
Let's guess.
Let's guess.
I want to say it's close to 200,000 plus people died.
How many people died?
More.
More?
What?
400,000?
400,000.
That's what it was.
So I knew it was in the hundreds of thousands.
So 400,000 people died in the Colosseum.
Really?
400,000.
And a million.
400,000?
And a million animals.
Okay.
A million.
Wow.
Jesus Christ.
400,000 people and a million animals.
Over a period of how long, Jamie?
400 years.
Fuck.
So think about America.
I want you to think of 1620.
1620.
Imagine a Colosseum built in 1620 is still rocking today.
There's a dude about to fight to the death with a fucking elephant.
Yeah.
He's got a spear and a shield.
He's going to fight to the death with an elephant.
He's probably going to get his legs snapped in half.
Yeah.
As the elephant stomps him as he shoves his fucking spear into its heart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's going to drag himself over to the elephant and finish it off.
Wow.
That sounds so stressful.
Super stressful.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
They used to fill the bottom of the Colosseum up with water.
They had a very sophisticated, super stressful.
Did they not want to just like chill out?
No.
Look at stuff.
That's the thing, man.
Italians are bananas.
Why not just like, Hey, let's just look at everything and not do anything.
Dude.
When I was there, I don't know if they do this for a tool for a show for
American tourists,
but I was there.
I had one of my daughters in the car with me and this fucking Italian dude in
Rome stops
the car like almost in the middle of an intersection to, uh, compliment some
woman on her figure.
He's like, Oh, look at this one over here.
Like literally a caricature and drives off.
I'm like, Oh, Rome.
Yeah.
This is like, this is what happens to all the savages from Rome.
They've like, my people, they've, they've turned into this now.
Now they're just nutty, nutty male taxi drivers.
But when you see what they did in the Coliseum, like what they decided to do
was build up an arena where people would fight to the death.
And it became, it's a pretty crazy thing.
One of the most famous arenas in the history of the world.
Right.
If you stop and think of the history of the world, like what is more famous for
in, in terms of like, uh, like an arena where, you know, that like people did
crazy shit and fought to the death.
There's no other place.
There's the Coliseum and that's it.
There's no other place where you think of that immediately makes you think of
people in sword fights and bones and arrows and lions.
And it's only the Coliseum.
Yeah.
You know how crazy human beings are.
Yeah.
And the thousands and thousands of years we've been around, there's only one
famous place like that.
Hmm.
The garden is the closest I can think of.
Yeah.
The garden.
Maybe a hundred years.
But no one's dying in the garden, right?
I know.
That's the only difference.
Yeah.
But that's next.
I think of like, and I'm going to honestly starting tomorrow and going to the,
all these little, these amazing places, you know, like that, that, that, that,
that, that there's something, you know, there's like, like 15 of those, um, uh,
in New Mexico, there's about 15 archeological sites of, um, you know, early,
you know, uh, architecture, native architecture.
Like the one you showed us at the, the cliff stuff.
Yeah.
So there's 14 of those.
There's many more actually.
Are they different?
Are they, are they all in the cliffs or are they all different?
They are different and there are different places.
And there's, there was this whole civilization that was built up out there and
we can just drive out there and go look at it.
And you can go stand there in those spots.
And so, so I was driving through Flagstaff, right before Flagstaff, Woopataki,
uh, I think it's Woopataki, uh, but, uh, I just saw the sign national monument.
I turned off and I went down and here you are all of a sudden you're standing
in a place.
It's like, it was built in, you know, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's
stone, stone walls around you.
And they were built in there.
It is right here.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
What'd you say, Jamie?
It's called bandolier.
Bandolier.
Like the thing, your bullets go on?
I might be saying it wrong.
That's okay.
So it's like that.
So go to Woopataki, go.
How do they get into those little holes?
They have ladders here.
I don't know how, you know, there's like, that's not, I don't think I've been
there yet.
Actually.
That's not, that's really different.
That's insane.
But there's stuff like that all over.
That's the move though.
Then you pull the ladder up at night and like, get the fuck out of here.
Right.
Right.
You don't want that ladder down there during the day.
Look at that.
But it's like the Ewoks, you know?
It's all like the Ewoks.
That's heavy, man.
There's all these Ewok kind of.
It's just so weird to think that people lived like that just not that long ago.
And it's right there.
Yeah.
And you can go visit it.
You can just drive out there and go to it.
Well, it just makes you think, if you weren't born in this era.
Yeah.
If you were born thousands of years ago and you were born in this spot, this is,
this would
be your village.
This would be where you live.
Yeah.
People like you and me, regular people, lived in that spot.
Yeah.
And you just think about what it must have been like to be alive.
Like the other one that you showed me, you said 1200 BC, right?
Yeah.
1200.
The Clift Wellings.
Clift Wellings and Hila.
Dude.
Hila.
National.
100 years ago.
800 years ago.
You're sitting around 800 years ago.
And you're looking up at the sky and there's nothing to separate you from the
stars.
You've seen incredible stars and you're just trying to keep people from eating
your family.
Yeah.
You're trying to keep other animals from eating you.
You're trying to eat animals.
You're trying to figure out how to keep the fire on.
You're trying to figure out how to make Flint arrowheads.
Yeah.
They had a macaw feather in...
So this is a thing.
I think I don't know.
In...
This is interesting.
In the...
Okay.
I'm just going to clarify.
I'm not totally wasted.
This is kind of interesting.
They had a...
This is the cutest route to get this macaw feather story.
They found a macaw feather in there.
And then that means that they were trading with the Yucatan Peninsula because...
Oh.
Because the macaw is from the Yucatan?
They also found a bison bone in those.
So that means there was not bison native to that area.
So that means they were trading with other...
Interesting.
Yeah.
There was not bison native to that area in the 1200s?
They could figure that out?
I guess, apparently.
Dude, you ever see all the shit that they do when they go back and look at...
Is it Pleistocene era?
Like what is the era where they had a North American lion?
There was a North American lion that was larger than the African lion that
lived right here.
Okay.
I don't know.
Yeah.
There was not...
Like a certain amount of time ago.
I think it was more than 15,000 years ago.
This place, North America, was filled with some really crazy shit, man.
Yeah.
I bet.
Saber-toothed tigers and...
Yeah.
Like we were at...
Like, you know, you think about Africa, right?
You think about leopards.
Leopards, Asia?
Leopards are in Africa too, right?
Leopards, jaguar is South America.
Jaguar, South America.
Right.
So leopards, lions, crocodiles.
You think of the fucking predators.
You think of the fucking predators.
Tigers are not in Africa.
They're Asia, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
People always would think, oh, Africa, tigers.
There's no tigers in Africa.
No.
Right.
There's plenty of shit that'll kill you.
Yeah.
Hyenas.
Right?
So you think all these wild beasts and then what...
You know, when we think of like safari in Africa, the dangers of safari.
Those are the animals you would think of.
North America apparently was filled with those things.
Yeah.
You know antelope today?
You know what a North American antelope is?
A pronghorn antelope?
You ever seen one of those?
Yes.
On...
Did you see them on your trip?
Yeah, yesterday.
They're really cool.
Oh, you saw one yesterday.
I did.
They're really cool, right?
It's actually on my Instagram.
Dude, those are prehistoric.
So if you go to my Instagram right now, okay?
Okay.
Let me...
Tom Green live.
What is it?
At Tom Green.
At Tom Green.
My Instagram.
I went, but seriously, the only reason I'm really pushing it hard here, Joe, is
because
I did...
I was driving down the highway yesterday, and we saw these antelope, and they
were, like,
really beautiful.
Yeah, they're beautiful.
And I said, "Whoa."
And I was streaming...
I went on Instagram story or whatever, and I said, "Hey, yo, check this out.
There's this antelope."
And we turned around, we drove back, we looked at them, and they were beautiful.
They're right there.
They're a really weird animal.
Yeah.
They're an animal that predates all these...
The mass extinction of the North American large mammals.
So, like, the North American large mammals, like the African lion, which was
previous,
but...
Saber-toothed tiger, American cheetah.
There was a cheetah that lived in America that was really fast.
Yeah.
And those cheetahs are the reason why these pronghorns are so fast.
Yeah.
They're so fast because they evolved to get away from an animal that doesn't
exist anymore,
but they still exist.
So they can run...
North American antelope can run much faster than any other animal around.
So, like, everything else can eat shit.
They take off.
And those pronghorns take off.
They're fucking gone, man.
They're so fast.
Have you ever seen them in full clip?
No, no.
They were just standing there, but it was beautiful.
Like, it felt like you were kind of like, "Wait, this doesn't feel...
felt sort of like you were in a different sort of place."
They don't belong.
They don't belong.
They do, obviously, they belong.
But they don't belong in the sense that they're from a different time.
Their eyes are set on the sides of their head this really weird way,
where they can literally see almost behind them.
Okay.
So, like, if you're...
If this is like an antelope that's looking here, and you're over here,
they see you crystal clear.
Okay.
Crystal clear.
They just don't see you back here.
Right, right, right.
But right here, they see you 100%.
They see you 100% here.
They see in a full range that we can't even comprehend,
because their eyeballs are out here.
They don't even look like they belong here.
They look like an avatar.
Why are...
Pull up a picture of a pronghorn antelope's face.
Antelope.
Look at his face.
There's really...
There's some...
There's some cool close-up ones that show how bizarre their eyes are.
Like that one up...
The one in the upper left hand corner.
Click on that.
Get close to that.
Look at his eyes.
See how wide his eyes are behind his head?
Where the deer and the antelope play.
Fascinating animal.
And that animal exists because...
Oh, give me a home.
There was a thing called the North American cheetah.
Where the buffalo roam.
And the skies are not cloudy all day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Antelope.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Yeah.
I...
I...
You know, it's a...
It's a...
Here's a good question for you, Tom Green.
Okay.
Yes, sir.
We don't want animals to go extinct.
Right?
Right.
We don't.
No one does.
Of course not.
But they do.
And most of them have gone extinct.
We don't want to be extinct for sure because of humans.
But animals have been going extinct since...
And 90% of all animals that have ever existed aren't here anymore.
Yeah.
Because there's some weird sort of a contest.
Yeah.
Going on with all of the animals on the planet, us included.
Yeah.
Would we be comfortable accepting the fact that we are like a dodo bird?
We're some sort of a dying species.
I would be comfortable with that.
Would you be comfortable with that out there in the middle of nowhere in your
van hanging
out with Chopper?
I assume that's the case, to be honest with you.
I think so, too.
Yeah.
I don't think that's bad for people.
I feel the same way I feel about someone saying, "Do you want to live to be a
thousand?"
Like, I don't want to live to be a thousand.
That's a long time.
But I don't want to not live to be a thousand.
I like life.
I like it right now.
That's cool.
I'm enjoying it.
It's getting a bit repetitive.
Well, you're out there in a fucking van, Tom Green.
Hanging out with your dog every day like Groundhog Day.
Yeah.
But yeah.
Yeah.
No, but I agree.
Yeah, it's getting a bit repetitive.
But yeah, no, absolutely.
I'd like to live to be a thousand.
A thousand's a long time.
A thousand?
You might be able to figure some shit out.
A thousand's a long time.
If you were a thousand and you were dating 18 year olds, what a creep you would
be.
Yeah.
Would they make a new rule?
Right?
If you were a thousand year old guy and you had an 18 year old girlfriend.
I don't even think it would be that interesting.
Enough, you piece of shit.
It doesn't matter what you look like.
Right?
I don't think it would be that.
You know, I think, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you think?
I think.
Wow.
Chopper's asleep.
First of all, I'm looking at Chopper here.
My lucky I changed her name.
You named, you renamed her.
You like my Swiss army knife, Joe?
I do.
You're out there out in the wilderness.
My dad gave me that.
You could do a lot of shit with this thing.
Open cans.
When I was a kid, my dad gave me that.
Do you use it as a can opener?
I do.
I have a few times.
I bet you do.
I remember the first time I ever opened a can with a Swiss army knife, the can
opener
one.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh, you know, I actually, I did, I have, I opened a can of tuna with it the
other day.
It was oddly satisfying.
Because there's been a couple of nights in the last few weeks where I've been,
said, you
know what I want to have dinner?
No, no, I don't want to have for dinner tonight.
What?
I just want to have a can of tuna.
I don't want to go to bed.
That's it?
Do you worry about, um, like getting enough food or having food or making sure
you're
at a place where you can store food?
No, no.
Is this something you just have like a schedule?
We buy food on Monday.
No, no.
It's, I, I, I, I, I just, no, it's, I mean, no, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's like
I, I've been just, just driving around and I've, you know, there's.
Shooting squirrels?
No, no.
But I, you know.
Eating rabbits?
No, I have not eaten a rabbit actually.
You've never eaten a rabbit?
No, I have never actually.
Have you ever had frog legs?
Yes, I have.
They're pretty goddamn good.
Oh yeah.
But you haven't done any fishing where you caught a fish in this whole trip and,
and ate it.
And so you should do that.
You should make that a priority.
Yeah.
Find a good spot.
Cause there's something about catching a fish and then eating it right away.
man.
It's amazing.
I did it in Utah.
My friend, Brent, we went ice fishing, caught a rainbow trout.
Yeah.
Cooked it like a couple hours later.
It's magical.
Yeah.
Make you feel like you're self-sustaining out there, Tom Green.
I got us.
Okay.
I got a story about that.
Please.
But like, so I did catch a fish on this trip.
Oh, all of a sudden you caught a fish.
Yeah, but it was the first fish I caught and it wasn't, you know, it was a sunfish.
And it wasn't like I didn't catch it too good and it was kind of a tough
situation.
So I felt bad, you know, and I just haven't fished again since then.
Oh, okay.
You know, sunfish are good to eat, right?
I grew up when I was a kid, those, you know, would catch those in the perch and
all that.
But it's like, yeah, yeah.
How come you decided not to cook it and keep it?
Uh, well, no, it was, it was, this last time?
It was.
The only time I know of.
It was, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was, it was my, I wasn't
really fishing
for a sunfish, you know, I was trying to catch a bass or a trout or something.
Something larger.
Yeah.
And I got a little sunfish and it was.
You decided not to keep it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the problem with not keeping a fish.
There was nothing you could do.
Yeah.
I mean, it was just no.
I hear you.
Yeah.
Why don't you just keep it?
Cook it.
Yeah.
Well, I wasn't, I guess, I guess it could have probably still probably.
Was it of legal size or was it tiny?
No.
It was just, it was just, it was just, you know, you kind of figured, oh, okay.
Well, it'll probably like, uh, I thought I figured it probably would have,
would have lived,
you know?
So I let it go.
I let it, I released it.
A lot of catch and release fish don't live.
Yeah.
I was hoping it would though.
Fishing is a weird thing, man.
Right?
I don't like it.
Standing on the edge of a world and you're throwing in a trick.
Right.
So that's what I'm saying.
So listen, here's, here's the thing.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
Now we're talking about this.
What are we talking about?
When I did that, like I was a kid, like as a kid, as a kid in Canada, I would
go with onto
a, onto a wharf in the middle of a lake, lower Beverly Lake.
This is where I grew up when I was a kid.
Okay.
Check this out.
This obscure geological place, lower Beverly Lake, Canada.
And I grew up there and I, we would go there and I, me and my friends, we would
catch Northern
Pike.
I love Northern Pike.
Off the dock.
We'd catch like five a day, these awesome fish, fish this big.
And then, you know, you would eat them.
They taste good.
Their bones are the shape, they're like shaped like Y's.
They're a little Y's and these, and, and, and, and, and.
They're a little bony.
Like when you're.
Very.
Yes.
They are.
You got to pick out some bones, but it's worth it.
Largemouth bass is like a sea bass.
It's the Canadian sea bass, you know?
And that was a delicious thing.
You know what they say that largemouth bass in particular, they taste better in
cold water.
Uh huh.
Like cold water bass, like what you would catch where you live.
Yeah.
Versus what someone would catch in Florida.
Yours would taste better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
I don't know if that's true.
Did they say that?
Yeah.
I've heard that.
I don't know if it's true.
Smallmouth bass are supposed to taste better than largemouth bass.
It's like a fight than the largemouth bass.
Yeah.
That's what everybody says.
They're more aggressive.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
So you can get like a two pound smallmouth is going to like.
And people prefer them to eat too.
The people that eat bass.
Yeah.
They prefer smallmouth over largemouth.
Really?
I don't know enough.
But yeah.
That's the word.
I did.
Smallmouth bass are supposed to taste better than largemouth bass.
I did.
So it's pretty crazy.
And then so like you know.
But like um.
Catfish.
I've got a few of them in my day as well.
Catfish are awesome.
You ever see those people that go noodling?
Would you do that?
I would do that.
Yeah.
Would you?
You don't give a fuck about your fingers huh?
I don't give a fuck.
What about snapping turtles son?
You ever think of that?
I.
So I.
That moment Tom Green realizes his fucking hand is in the grip of a shell
dinosaur.
I can tell you.
I have snapping turtle stories.
I mean.
You know like.
Like I.
I've been in front of snapping turtles as a kid.
Right.
And you realize.
It's like.
Oh this thing's heads the size of a coconut.
And it's gonna bite your dick.
Yeah.
I.
I'm staying away from that.
So it's kind of pretty interesting when you're.
When you're.
I saw a snapping turtle when I was a kid.
I was like.
I was living in Florida.
So I had to be between 11 and 13.
And we saw the snapping turtle in the middle of the forest.
We were poking at it.
Yeah.
It was snapping at us.
I was like.
Oh my God.
It was so big.
It almost seemed like somebody's pet.
They just like.
Fuck this thing.
And they just let it go.
Which people do in Florida.
That's why they have all those pythons everywhere.
You know.
They have pythons everywhere in Florida.
No.
They like.
They caught an 18 foot long.
The other.
One the other day.
Yeah.
They have alligators everywhere.
Yeah.
When I was a kid.
I saw a fucking snapping turtle.
And I remember thinking like.
What.
Yeah.
Like what is this thing doing.
Just wandering around where people live.
Yeah.
But the snapping turtle.
Is the only like.
Kind of like.
Weird sort of.
Like.
You know.
Like.
Like when you talk about crocodiles.
And.
Crocodile snapping turtle.
Mm-mm.
Jamie.
Crocodile snapping turtle son.
Get ready for the next level of horror.
Right.
Snapping turtle.
Has an ugly cousin.
And the ugly meaner.
More demonic cousin.
Is the alligator.
Snapping turtle.
Okay.
Look at that fucking thing.
Wow.
Was I joking.
Yeah.
Imagine.
That big thing.
Was trying to bite your foot.
So that actually.
That actually looks like a snapping turtle.
So that's what I'm talking about.
Dude.
Yeah.
So I grew up with.
The one on the right.
Is a snapping turtle.
I saw those when I was a kid.
The one on the left.
I remember.
Is an alligator snapping turtle.
I remember my.
My dad and I.
We went.
We were like.
Camping on this.
And this thing came up.
And I was like.
Wow.
That's like a.
Like an alligator.
And you're a kid.
And you're in like Canada.
And there's things.
You saw one of those?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where do those things live Jamie?
What's their range?
They're all over.
I've never seen one of those in a while.
But I would.
In my pants.
If I saw that fucking monster.
Oh yeah.
And they swim up.
And you're sitting there going.
Well that thing's the head's the side of a.
You know.
Like that could.
That could.
That could probably potentially hurt.
I saw a regular snapping turtle.
The one I saw when I was a kid.
It was a regular one.
Yeah.
That thing.
With the mouth on that thing.
Yeah.
Oh.
Primarily southeastern U.S.
Florida Panhandle to East Texas.
Wow.
Okay.
Well what's the snapping turtle that's in Ontario?
You know what man.
I mean.
Especially.
How old were you when you saw this?
I don't know.
It was like.
Six.
Yeah.
Imagine how little you are.
And how big that is.
Yeah.
Six year old memory.
Yeah.
Trying to.
It's probably a regular snapping turtle.
Just seemed like the size of a fucking building.
So I can describe the exact scenario.
Okay.
Check it out.
Okay.
This is what happened.
Okay.
I think about this a lot.
The snapping turtle story?
No.
I think about this in my life.
It's one of those beautiful memories that you think about in your life.
You go.
Wow.
That's cool.
That's when you realize how the fucking world worked.
You know.
Okay.
Me and my dad.
We jumped in a canoe.
At my.
We had a.
They had a.
Did you really jump in?
We went.
Went out.
We went fishing.
We went fishing.
We went over to the other side.
And we set up a tent.
And we.
We camped out.
We went fishing.
We caught two large mouth bass.
And it was an amazing night.
And.
Yeah.
It was beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful time.
That's it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no.
So.
Oh, so no, no.
Sorry.
I forgot what it was going to say actually.
Something about snapping turtles, right?
You're right.
Yeah.
Not the snapping turtle part.
No.
No, no.
Listen.
So listen.
This is what happened.
We went out to this island.
Okay.
And I remember.
Okay.
So.
We shaking hands?
Yeah.
How drunk are you, bro?
Very drunk.
All right.
Yeah.
No, I'm great.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Cheers.
I'm great.
Good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm not very drunk.
I'm, I'm, I'm great drunk.
I'm great drunk.
You're a good man.
This is like one of the all time good times ever.
I listen.
You know, I love you.
Like when you put it down, like, like in a book, you go like, what was the best
time
ever?
This was the best time.
Ah, let's give it like top 20.
Yeah, absolutely.
We don't have to make it the best.
No, it's good time.
Put so much pressure on ourselves.
Good time.
Good time.
Yeah.
So what's the goal for the end of this walkabout, this motor vehicle powered
walkabout?
When are you going to bring this dock, this boat into the dock?
Well, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to just, I don't know.
I actually, I'm not sure actually, to be honest with you.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm, I'm, I definitely, I'm going to go see my, my fam up in Canada at some
point.
But are you allowed to drive to Canada right now?
Yes.
How's that work?
Cause you have a double ID?
Cause you're a fucking spy?
You're so like on, you're like, you're like very like in tuned with everything.
Aren't you?
What do you mean?
Like it's like, it's like, like, yeah, of course.
Yeah, absolutely.
But you're, you're just so like Joe, like, I mean, yeah, absolutely.
How are you so connected with everything?
What am I connecting with?
I'm just asking if you have a dual citizenship passport thing where you can get
into Canada.
You listen to things like, you know, cause here's the thing when you, when you
stand up, you
know, when you stand up, you're traveling around the country and you go to all
these shows and
everyone's interviewing and everyone, but like you like really are, you listen
and connect
with people.
How did you feel?
How did you realize that you knew how to connect with people?
I'd learned, I'd do it.
I wasn't very good at it at first.
Uh huh.
Honestly, I'd, I'd fuck conversations up cause I would talk when I didn't want,
I shouldn't
have talked.
Like you don't realize it while you're doing it.
You're not trying to be an asshole.
You're trying to just get, you have an idea in your head.
You just don't know how to, um, you don't know how to seamlessly integrate your
ideas into
a conversation with someone else's ideas is that there's a dance going on and
the dance
is not just what you want to say.
And some comedians, they do it very poorly because all they think about is what
they want
to say.
They don't think about what you're saying.
And if they don't think about what you're saying, then they're not, they're not
really
dance partners.
They just expect you to move with them.
And I've been that person before.
We've all been that person before.
Uh huh.
Yes.
It's not the right way to communicate with people.
So you learn over time that part of the dance is you, you have to like the
person.
You have to listen to what they say.
You have to give them some love.
You have to be interested in what they're saying.
Genuinely, you have to be in tune on the same idea.
So if you're, if you're telling me about an idea, I'm listening to this, I
gotta be in
tune with you the way you're thinking.
I can't just be waiting to say what I want to say.
Right.
A lot of comedians are just waiting to say what they want to say.
They're not, they're not trying to help you get the most out of what you're
saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was Jack Benny, uh, is like, was Johnny Carson's idol and hero.
And, and Jack Benny, uh, you know, would often have on all these great comedians
of the
day and people would say, you know, why, you know, how do you feel?
They're getting all the laughs, you know?
And you say, yeah, but it's my show, right?
Mm-hmm.
It's my show.
So it was like, yeah.
So, so.
Well, here's the problem, man.
Yeah.
The, the, that's, there's, there's, you could look at it that way, but that
doesn't help you
as much, or it does, I should say, it doesn't, didn't help me as much as
looking at it.
Like, I don't, I don't have any control currently over what's more funny in the
moment, nor should
I want it to be me.
What I should want to do in the moment is laugh at things that are funny.
Mm-hmm.
And not think while I'm laughing at something that's hilarious, why am I not
the funniest
one in the room?
Yeah.
You can't think like that.
Yeah.
It doesn't do you or the moment any good.
It certainly doesn't do the person who's got a really funny thing to say.
Yeah.
Like when you, when you grow up and stand up, cause a lot of like what my
growth and stand
up is hanging out with Joey Diaz.
When you're hanging out with Joey Diaz, you're always the second funniest
person, no matter
who you are.
Yeah.
He's just the funniest guy that's ever lived.
Uh-huh.
So like that helped too, is being around Joey.
You're never thinking I have to be the funniest.
Yeah.
You just, all you thinking of is like, let Joey be as funny as he can.
Yeah.
And then just do yourself, but your job when you're around someone like Joey is
just let
him be as funny as he can.
Just give him as much encouragement as you can give him.
Let him be as funny as he can.
Cause he's, he, when he's fun, when you're encouraging him, he's free.
Yeah.
He's supported.
He's loved and he's free.
And then he becomes the funniest guy that ever lived.
So that probably gave you a lot of freedom though.
Cause then you could like fuck around in the, in the, in, in, you know, like,
and just be
hilarious in that area where he's, he was carrying a lot of that energy, right?
Well, you can also just kind of give you a support system.
Like he created a nice support energy.
Like that was, this was the area that you grew up in.
Well, you, you all, um, feed off each other for sure.
Yeah.
Everyone feeds off of everyone's particular thing that they're really, uh,
really good
at or success that they're having.
Everyone feeds off of it.
It's all, we all, everyone works it in together.
But there was a thing about Joey where he was so funny and so ridiculous that
he made other
things more ridiculous.
He made other people's bits more ridiculous.
Cause he was so far, he was so far into, I don't give a fuck land.
Yeah.
He was so down the road that you were yelling at him.
Where are you going?
Yeah.
And he was like, come on cocksucker.
Follow me.
He was so far ahead.
Right.
He was so deep into, I don't give a fuck land.
Right.
Right.
And like, my point is with all things, whether it's with podcasting or with
standup comedy
or with martial arts or with basically anything you do, we're all a mix of all
the people
that we've met and their influence as well as who we are and what, what our own
expression
is.
But we're a mix of all these other people and all these other, there's so many
fucking people
that influence you.
We're not, we're not autonomous.
We're not alone.
We're never.
And that's good and bad.
You know, the bad part is people know that they can influence you because they
know that
you're not alone.
That's where bad comments come into play.
The only reason why it's like a negative thing is cause it makes you feel bad.
And the only reason why it makes you feel bad is cause that's the intention of
the person
who's doing it.
Like it's a thing that people do because we aren't all alone.
We do, we can reach out blindly and infect each other and hurt each other and
smash it.
We can do it.
We can reach out blindly because we're weirdly connected in some way that we
want to ignore.
Yeah.
That's why it hurts when you read shitty comments.
Yeah.
Cause we're weirdly connected in some previously not completely understood way.
And you can just decide to not look at them.
Yes.
Just like you can decide to work out.
Just like you can decide to drink only water for a month.
Just like you can decide to eat only ribeye steaks for a month.
Just like you can decide to run a mile a day for a month.
Just like you can do a thousand pushups a month.
You can do whatever the fuck you want, Tom Green.
Yeah.
You just have to decide that's what you're doing.
I can do a thousand pushups a month.
I bet you could.
I can.
That's the key.
The key is for sure you could.
That's not that much.
I mean, I, I'm not sure if I could this month, but maybe next month.
Maybe a thousand, you know, a hundred a day for 10 days.
That's not that bad.
Uh, okay.
Next.
Maybe next month.
You could do a thousand pretty easy.
You know, probably do 10 pushups.
Well, you, you got to do what?
33 a day, 33 days, a thousand in a month.
33, 33 pushups a day.
Can I do pushups right now?
Sure.
You could, but why would we do that?
I mean, how drunk are you that we're going to bring ourselves to that?
Pretty drunk.
Plus this podcast, like eight hours old, right?
How many hours is it, Jamie?
4:15.
4:15.
It'd be funny.
It'd be funny to do something.
It's kind of long.
To do pushups?
It'd be funny at this point.
I don't think it would.
Okay.
All right.
I understand.
I won't do it.
Cheers.
Um, so that's what, how do we get to that?
About pushups and getting up in the morning.
Where'd that come from?
Check it out.
I'm going to do something, okay?
No.
Watch.
Let's end this.
Close it.
Close it down, Jamie.
He's going to do something.
He's going to regret.
No, you can if you want.
I'm just joking.
You want to do pushups?
Yeah, yeah.
Let me do something.
Okay.
Come on.
What are you going to do?
There won't be a camera on you though.
Charlie's chilling.
Let's see if I can do 10.
Don't hurt yourself.
Let's see if I can do 10.
Okay.
That's reasonable.
I like what he said.
He said, let's see if I can do 10.
That's a very reasonable thing to say.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Okay.
All right.
Let's see.
Ready?
One.
Tom Green, ladies and gentlemen, he will be appearing at a truck stop near you.
If you're in upper northern Utah, near the trailhead, holla at him.
He has a podcast.
It's, oh my God.
What were those noises?
Oh, that was her.
Oh my God.
Your dog was shaking her ears.
I thought it was your back cracking.
I just did 10 pushups.
I just did 10 pushups.
Congratulations.
I literally thought that was your back cracking.
No, no.
I was like, he's going to die and it's going to be my fault that I didn't stop
him.
Oh, Charlie.
Charlie.
Chopper, bro.
Her name is Chopper.
Chopper.
Yeah.
No, Joe.
Thanks, man.
Thank you, Tom Green.
Listen, thank you originally for inspiring me because you really did.
The day that Red Band and I went to your studio and I saw your house and how
you had it set
up, that was one of the first seeds.
And I was on Fear Factor back then.
But I remember wandering around your place, how you had it set up.
And you were very gracious and very hospitable and took us around.
You were an awesome host and you were so happy that you did this.
You wanted to show everybody.
It was a cool thing.
We left there going, God, first of all, God damn, how nice is Tom Green?
We both said that.
And they were like, how cool is what he's doing?
Like, it made me think that that could be done.
So Red Band and I, we were in...
So Red Band, you know...
He's moving here.
Yeah, I know.
Woo!
I knew that.
Yeah.
You guys are like taking over Austin, right?
No, we don't want to take over anything.
We just happen to be moving here.
You love it here, right?
You love this place.
Yeah.
No, I'm just saying in a positive way, you love it.
You love Austin.
Yeah, we do love it.
When we saw your place, dude, with the servers and the fucking...
He had these...
You got to think, what year was it that you were doing this?
So Red Band and I were in San Diego.
In your house.
What year were you doing it?
Oh, 2004?
2005, maybe.
So you have to think, folks, it's not possible to do this show with YouTube.
It's not possible to do this show with...
You know, there's no social media to speak of.
You can't really stream anywhere.
So Tom Green decides to do a website where you can stream it from a website.
Like, you were miles ahead.
So it's like when I was saying about my dad earlier, right?
My dad was a tank commander, right?
And so in the Canadian military, when he was finished doing the tank, he was
working...
Tank commanding, he was working with the Department of National Defense and
computers, right?
Cobalt computers.
So, yeah.
So like, yeah, it's just kind of like...
Computers have always been around up in Canada.
But you...
It wasn't just computers, dude.
It was the idea to do a show on the internet.
I even met with the people that you were working with back then.
Remember you were working with like a group of people that hosted the website
and did all the logistics and everything?
Yeah, yeah.
I met with them in Denver.
Oh, yeah.
But I remember thinking, I don't have the time for this.
This is too much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't wanna...
And I was thinking about this.
No, this is not...
Well, for whatever reason, I wasn't ready for doing it.
Yeah.
And then we started doing some stuff on Justin TV.
Uh-huh.
And then we eventually went to Ustream.
And then it went to iTunes and YouTube.
Right.
Because it was a very obscure space back then.
There was like...
Well, there wasn't many people even thinking about it, but it was still kind of...
But it was 100% inspired by you.
100%.
It was inspired by you and inspired by Opie and Anthony.
You because you did it on your own.
And Opie and Anthony because they created the hang.
And then Anthony Cumia did a show in his house called Live from the Compound.
Mm-hmm.
Where he would like play karaoke holding a machine gun.
He had a green screen behind him.
It was madness.
Okay.
Madness.
And he was doing it by himself.
He was just having fun, being silly.
Right.
And he did it.
I believe he was on Ustream.
I believe Live from the Compound was on Ustream.
And he had beer taps in his house.
So he'd be drinking Guinness on tap.
Mm-hmm.
Singing, having a fucking party.
And he was doing that all on the side.
And then SiriusXM decided they didn't like it.
Because he was on the Opie and Anthony show.
And they were like, listen, you can't do that too.
And he was like, but it's just an advertisement for my show.
It's not hurting anybody.
Right.
They didn't want him to do it.
And then it became like a big sticking point.
And then eventually he wound up doing Compound Media.
But Live from the Compound was the original show.
So those are the, in order, the things that influenced me to do the podcast.
Yeah.
Number one, your show.
Number two, Opie and Anthony.
They're both interchangeable.
Because they're both around the same time.
And then after that, Live from the Compound.
Because I remember seeing that going, oh, okay.
Because this can be done way cheaper than what Tom Green is doing.
I'm like, what Tom Green is doing is requires businesses to get involved.
But what Live from the Compound was doing on Ustream, he just spent a lot of
money and developed his own studio.
He put his own green screen.
He had his own professional microphones like this kind of set up.
But he did it all.
He was the pioneer.
Anthony Cumia was doing it in his house.
Yeah.
In his basement, way before everybody else.
Why do you think it is?
We were, we just happened to be on the edge of the time when it became like, oh,
there was an opportunity to actually speak out and have your own opinion.
Right?
Before that.
Well, also we got super lucky with platforms.
Like you didn't get super lucky, but I got super lucky that I met you.
And I'm not bullshitting because you decided to do it yourself.
Yeah.
And I remember thinking like, oh, this can be done.
Like you have to sometimes see someone do it.
Yeah.
Like someone's house where you had your living room with fucking all these
cables run from these servers all the way to your machine.
I remember that.
I was like, oh my God, this is nuts.
It's like my van right now, by the way.
It was like a TV studio.
You got to come check up my van, man.
If you go to film like...
You got cables in the van.
I believe you.
I'm running cables.
I'm like, I'm proud of the way the cables are running the van.
If you were going to the Kimmel show and you were watching how they film it.
There's cables on the ground.
There's cameras.
They're on dollies and people are moving shit around.
I'm like, your fucking house looked like a set.
And I was like, how?
He can do it himself.
Then I'm like, I remember thinking this is not ready yet, but there's going to
be something that happens out of this.
And I remember thinking, look, I remember we talked about it.
Yeah.
There's a video of you and I talk about it saying, you're right.
Like you got it nailed.
Yeah.
Me, I'm sitting on your couch.
And I'm like, Tom Green, you're doing this right.
Fuck all these executives and all these people telling you what to do and what
to say.
Uh-huh.
They get in the way.
Yeah.
The people that are important.
The folks at home, what they want to listen to is what's coming out of your
mouth.
Yeah.
Whether you're right or wrong, whether it's good or bad, they want it to be you.
And as soon as you have a bunch of people chiming in and a bunch of fucking
exact people that aren't.
And you're not even talking about writers or creative folks, right?
You're talking about business people.
Yeah.
That are doing it just based simply on whether or not they want to keep doing
this successful.
If you want to keep doing this, you want to keep being, you know.
You were the first guy to figure out how to do it without those people.
And I remember sitting in your, in your living room, right by your desk going,
whoa.
All right.
I remember thinking, look at this.
Tom Green figured it out.
I remember thinking this is going to be a path, but it wasn't ready yet.
I was like, there's just not enough people, the bandwidth to watch it.
Not enough people understand what it is.
It was a small window.
Yeah.
But it was, it made me very interested.
I like just, I'm pausing for a moment and I'm bringing myself back to that time.
And I, I remember that day.
Like, it's so cool, man.
How long ago was that?
It's a long, long time, my friend.
How long ago was that?
17 years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah.
I remember being in there.
It was cool.
I appreciate it.
He's got it.
He's got it.
He's figured it out.
You came up and like, there was like, there was like, you know, you talk to
entertainment
tonight or something.
Was there?
Yeah.
That's right.
They were there.
And I was saying that it's the future.
Entertainment tonight from like 19.
What year was that?
19.
Well, it had to be 2003.
Yeah.
Right.
There's a video.
Video.
That's it.
That's my house.
That's my living room right there.
Let's hear this.
That's what I'm talking about.
This is my living room.
I was talking the same stupid shit even back then.
Yeah.
That's my living room.
And I still, that's still my house today.
Wow.
Look at your house, dude.
Yeah.
I made them eat my own poo?
Yeah.
I don't have the TV studio in there.
Maybe I have black down.
I actually, um, tried to keep watching an episode of Fear Fever.
I threw up watching it once at home.
I bet you it was the same episode.
Probably not.
Was it when they put the frozen rats in there?
Dude, this is basically a podcast.
We were doing a podcast back in 2003.
This is really early.
What year?
This was, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so.
Dude, this is you and me 17 years ago.
Oh my gosh.
Wow, holy shit.
That was you?
I didn't even recognize you.
Beautiful, dark beard.
Look how dark.
I look so silky smooth.
Yeah, there you go.
And you said all this cool stuff and you were like, you know, you're, you know,
you know,
you were, you were, uh, you were, you were hosting Fear Factor then I think,
right?
Yeah, I just started doing Fear Factor.
Yeah.
But I remember thinking when I was there, like, you got it nailed.
But I still, that's still my house.
You can't play it because if you play it, like, it'll get pulled even though it's
me talking.
No, no, no, it's probably Access Hollywood.
It's probably their video.
That photo, that old, that older gentleman in the background.
I took that photo when I was in college.
Who is he?
So he was, so when I was in college, uh, we had to do an assignment, go take
some photos.
So I went out in the streets of Toronto.
And you just met that gentleman?
Yeah, it was in the city of Toronto.
Do you remember his name?
Do you remember his name?
I do not, no.
I know.
He was one of, one of, uh...
Wanna call him something?
Wanna call him Harry?
Let's call him Harry.
Harry.
Thank you, Harry.
No, but I was just a guy I took...
Oh, look, there you are, Joe.
Look at you, fella.
Look at your place.
That's cool.
Look at you, TomGreen.com.
Look at back when TVs had those big-ass picked bezels.
That's still my house, by the way.
Isn't that funny?
That's still where I...
Let that, let the haters and fucking stalkers know.
They can still find you.
But it's kind of funny that it's like...
It's kind of funny that it was 17 years ago, my friend.
Yeah, yeah.
And here we are, we're still basically doing the same kind of thing.
Yeah, it's cool, man.
Yeah.
It's like, it's so cool, man.
Like, I appreciate it.
I really do love...
I appreciate it, too.
Love what you guys are doing.
And Jamie, I'm so glad you're doing good and you're not, you're feeling better.
Covid-ed out.
Yeah.
He felt bad for about 14 hours.
Yeah.
And even then it wasn't that bad.
I'm glad you're not feeling too bad.
Despite what Donnell Rawlings thinks, he's very strong, very fit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you?
And...
Inside joke, Tom Green slipped right by you.
No, but he... but I'm glad he's doing good.
He's great.
Yeah, he was only sick for a little bit.
That's great.
We didn't even think he really had it.
We thought he had some sort of allergies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Got lucky.
My gosh.
Well, listen, this is amazing.
Tom Green, stay gold pony boy.
Joe.
It's always good hanging out with you, my friend.
Joe.
And again, thank you for everything.
Thank you for being one of the most important initial inspirations.
I love you, Joe.
I love you too, Tom Green.
I love you.
I love you too.
I really do.
I love you.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
I've known you for two decades now.
Well...
You've always been super cool.
Likewise.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
I appreciate it.
We've known each other a long time, man.
That's kind of crazy when you stop and think about it.
Yeah.
It's a long time, Tom Green.
But I appreciate you very much.
Thank you.
And everything I'm saying is sincere.
You were one of the most absolutely important inspirations for me.
Wow.
You know...
You did it, dude.
Class act, Joe Rogan.
You did it, dude, before anybody.
And I'm glad you're still doing it.
So tell everybody about your podcast you're doing right now.
Yeah.
The Tom Green interview.
Google that in quotes.
The Tom Green interview.
That's going to bring you directly to the current show that I'm doing.
I love...
First of all, I love what you do, Joe.
I love what you do.
I love interviewing people.
I do really love sitting down with somebody.
It's fun, right?
And talking to them and getting into their mind and asking them what they're up
to
and how they think and really getting into it.
So I love it.
And so I just had Kenny Hotz on my show this week.
Kenny Hotz from Kenny vs. Spenny, one of the Canadian legendary...
This is all on tomgreen.com?
Yeah, it's on...
And so this is on tomgreen.com.
Is there any of the links to the videos that you do, the van life videos on tomgreen.com?
Yeah, they're just all good.
If you go to my YouTube channel, just go to youtube.com/tomgreen.
Just go there.
That's where I'm putting all the radio stuff.
This was a nice long one.
We did about four and a half hours, I think, right?
Yeah.
How about that?
Four and a half hours.
No peeing.
How long was it?
Four and a half hours, dude.
What?
Yeah, you got brain damage?
He got hit in the middle of the podcast.
One of those whiskey shots just fucking clipped and he woke up in the middle of
the fight.
Like, what round is it?
All right.
Four and a half hours, Tom Green.
All right.
Well, listen.
I take a lot of supplements.
I can burn through alcohol pretty fucking quick, son.
Glutathione.
Liposomal glutathione.
What's that?
What is that?
It's a very powerful antioxidant that allows your body to process alcohol more
quickly.
Okay.
Glutathione.
Wait.
Glutathione.
Glutathione.
Glutathione.
You want liposomal glutathione so that your liver is like, ah.
There is actually, no, no, all bullshit aside.
There's actually a doctor that I'm very good friends with, Dr. Mark Gordon, who
brought
it up on a podcast and some guy tried to dispute it.
We wound up Googling it.
It turns out liposomal glutathione, glutathione in particular, liposomal is
just a different.
Glutathione is controversial in that there's some people that don't believe it's
a more
effective way of getting glutathione into your system.
But some people think it does.
I'm not qualified to have that argument.
But I know that glutathione has been shown to help your body process alcohol
more quickly.
How much more quickly?
That's up to debate.
And I don't think there's ever been any real long term peer review studies on
drunks.
We give them glutathione.
You give their twin glutathione and you find out who recovers quicker with the
same amount
of food in their body.
Same amount of rest.
Yeah.
Same amount of stress in their life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But allegedly glutathione, all those caveats and disclaimers aside, glutathione
helps your
body process alcohol more quickly.
That's true, right?
Glutathione.
Yeah.
Glutathione.
Glutathione.
Glutathione.
I want to say it's an amino acid.
Glutathione?
What the fuck?
Glutathione.
What is glutathione?
It's an antioxidant.
Okay.
That's what it is.
Alright.
What is it, Jamie?
Went too far.
My recording stopped.
Oh, the recording stopped.
We went too far.
That's all right.
We broke the show, Tom Green.
How about that?
Is anything recording right now?
Damn.
That's right.
Okay.
It's back?
It just hits a limit once we go to...
Fucking break it.
We broke the show.
Break that shit.
The show.
The show has gone so long.
Tom Green and I broke the show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glutathione is an antioxidant in plants, animals, fungi, and some bacteria.
Uh-huh.
I don't know what that word is.
Archaia?
Archaia?
Anyway.
Yeah.
Glutathione is capable of preventing damage to important cellular components
caused by reactive
oxygen species, such as free radicals, peroxides, lipid peroxides, and heavy
metals.
Glutathione.
And can you Google glutathione and alcohol or hangovers?
Ah.
That's the thing.
I think glutathione is supposed to be a really good thing to take when you're
in the middle
of recovering from a hangover.
That is wild stuff.
Wild stuff.
Alpha-lipoic acid.
Alpha-lipoic acid is a potent antioxidant.
On its own, it helps your body produce glutathione.
Take about 400 milligrams before you start drinking.
Acetylcysteine NAC is a precursor to glutathione and a great nutrient for liver
support.
Take 600 milligrams of NAC before you start drinking.
Okay.
Like dedicated drunks.
They're like, "Before I start drinking, I'm going to carb load.
I'm going to fill up with liquid."
Yeah.
A buddy of mine drank with Jean-Claude Van Damme once.
Wow.
And he said Jean-Claude Van Damme would drink, but he would bring a gallon of
water.
Uh-huh.
So he had a gallon of water.
Uh-huh.
Like a giant jug of water.
Oh, nice.
So he would drink, and they would take a jug.
So he knew how to like...
Yeah.
He said he was super impressed.
He was like, "Whoa.
Like this guy is a professional partier."
So he would be drinking, but he would also downing this gigantic bottle of
water.
He kept pissing.
Oh.
That's all you got to do is hydrate.
He kept hydrated the entire time.
Oh.
He said he was so blown away by it.
He's like, "I can't believe this guy."
Why did nobody ever tell me that?
You didn't hang out with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Oh my gosh.
You got to party with JCVD.
The amount of nights you could have probably survived if you just drank a
little more water.
Here's something embarrassing.
You know the Volvo commercial where Jean-Claude Van Damme does the splits
between two trucks?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know if that's real.
And I've questioned whether or not it's real, but I know it's not real.
Okay.
I know they would never spend...
Do you know how much money you would have to...
But the concept is real.
I'm sure he's really capable of doing the splits.
No, but it's the idea of is probably almost better than the ability to do it.
No.
Thinking of it is cool.
No, it's crazy.
You're trusting your life to these two trucks and then they've got to push
together.
Yeah.
Get the fuck out of here.
You don't think that he did that?
I don't think he did that.
Oh really?
No.
I think if he fell, he'd be a dead man.
Are we breaking news right here?
I think if he fell, he'd be a dead man.
Wow.
And I don't think they would ever do that without a harness.
I just don't believe it.
I think it's CGI.
Wow.
Really?
He'd be capable of doing that if the trucks could be so specific in their
movements that
they never separated and then he had time to strengthen his legs at like 50
plus years
of age.
I don't have the video of it, but it says...
That's cool, man.
There's a Wikipedia.
Three days of rehearsals.
It was made in one single take.
Yeah.
He was protected by a hidden safety harness.
I believe it happened.
Oh, okay.
Hidden safety harness.
Okay.
Well, that makes sense.
I thought it happened, but...
Hidden safety harness, now I believe it.
Yeah.
He's definitely capable of doing it.
Have you ever seen it?
Yeah, I watched it.
Yeah.
Let's watch it one more time.
I thought it happened.
Let's end on this.
But now we know it did happen.
They just hit a safety...
They probably CGI'd the safety harness or something.
Yeah.
But it...
He's most certainly capable of doing those kind of splits.
Yeah, absolutely.
Look at it.
They're going backwards.
Oh, they're going backwards.
Where's the safety harness?
I wonder.
You definitely can't see it.
I know, but...
There's also a little platform you can't see, I think, where his feet are
on to help that.
Oh, okay.
That don't exist.
Look at the...
What's Globetrotter?
What is that?
That's the...
Oh, that's cool.
So they're very, very slowly moving backwards.
25 miles an hour.
This is a cool shot, actually.
But look at this.
Look at this.
This is very cool.
Very, very, very, very cool.
Check this out.
Look how they spread.
That's right where my balls break off and fly away.
That line, see how they're marking it?
Yeah.
Look at that.
Can you believe that?
I know, but the fact they're doing it going backwards, that's bananas.
Yeah.
So he's not...
His weight is not being supported by his ankles there.
That's the only thing that's preposterous.
It seems he has no strain at all.
It's not preposterous that he could get into that position.
But there's a difference between getting into that position and doing it in
between two
chairs.
Like people do it in between two chairs.
So you don't think that's real?
No, you can do it.
Yeah.
You can do it in between two chairs.
Okay.
People can do it.
They've definitely done it.
Do you think that's real?
Yeah.
I think he definitely did it.
He's definitely capable of doing that.
So is that real or is it CGI?
I think he was supported by some sort of a safety harness.
The question is whether or not this...
Okay.
But still, the image you're looking at is him supported by a safety harness.
Yes.
100%.
Yeah.
And then CGI'd out.
Or whatever.
It's just so he didn't fall.
Like chroma keyed out or whatever the hell they fucking call it.
The safety harness is just so he didn't fall, they're saying.
Jamie's saying.
I believe that too.
I would imagine it would take a little...
I believe that too.
I would imagine it would take a little bit of the weight off.
And I think that would help his ankles.
Okay.
The PR guy said the stunt is real.
The PR guy can eat a whole bag-o.
He can eat a whole bag-o.
Because you know PR guys are always honest.
The point is it's way more difficult to support yourself in that position if
you're being held on each ankle.
If all your weight is being pressed.
Right.
He's probably 170 pounds or something like that.
All his weight is on both of those ankles out extended like that.
That's very difficult to do.
It's not easy.
So for him to just be sitting there all calm and stretched out like that and do
it over a long...
I've seen people do it in between chairs, but they don't do it for very long.
It's not something you want to do what two trucks are driving.
I mean this is just what they're saying and everything I can find that his feet
were not connected.
So there were his feet were able to be moved and that harness was only in case
he fell.
And they did it.
They only did it that one time.
Well, I mean if he has enough support again, if they only did it for a couple
of seconds, he has enough support where his ankles...
I mean he 100% can do that and has done that his whole life.
Where he suspends himself in a split over two chairs.
A lot of guys do it.
My only question would be like, how long can you hold that spot?
I'm good, dude.
How long can you hold that spot?
Have you ever seen a guy do that?
A little more.
One more tap.
No, you drink a whole bottle of whiskey.
Just have a little.
A little sip.
I don't know.
No?
Okay.
Have you ever seen those videos where people do that?
Yeah, yeah.
I was going to say that maybe if they would have said it was a camera trick and
it was just like high speed and they just slowed it down.
No, man.
Oh, you got one.
You have some more.
Let's one more tap.
One more tap.
One more tap.
That's all I'm saying.
Time footage.
Seems like it was real.
No, I'm sure he can do that.
If they really did do that with those two trucks, that's even more impressive.
I assume that they CGI'd it.
Still Austin.
That is so good.
But I assume that he did do the splits.
I finally found the making of them.
Let me see if I can find it.
Oh my gosh.
I'm going to end with this.
Shout out to Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Oh my gosh.
Doesn't show it.
Doesn't show it.
That's it.
Tom Green, it's over.
Show's 18 hours long.
People falling asleep at the wheel.
Joe, I love you, man.
I love you too.
And honestly, I really do want to say I'm so proud of you.
And congratulations.
You've just done some...
It's just amazing to see how great you're doing.
And I love you, man.
I love you too, buddy.
I appreciate you being cool all these years.
I appreciate you being cool too.
Every time I meet you, you've always been cool.
And you have with me as well, man.
And that's why we're good friends to this day.
Yeah.
And again, thank you.
Because you're doing your show was one of the very first things that inspired
me to do
this.
100%.
Absolutely.
You're the fucking man.
Tom Green, ladies and gentlemen.
Check out his...
What is it?
Tom Green podcast.
Tom Green interview.
And of course, The Van Life, which is on YouTube.
TomGreen.com.
Much respect, my brother.
Love you.
Goodbye, ladies and gentlemen.
And non-gender, non-binary people.
Good night, everybody.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Here we go.