#1413 - Bill Maher

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Bill Maher

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Bill Maher is a comedian, political commentator, the host of HBO's "Real Time with Maher" and his own podcast, "Club Random." Catch him in residency at the David Copperfield Theatre at MGM Grand in Las Vegas on September 15 and 16 and November 3 and 4.www.billmaher.com

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0:00

hello bill great to be here in the man cave this is the professional extension

0:12

of the man cave this

0:13

part is a this is where real work gets done this is the only part in the

0:16

building it's worth it

0:17

just to see it no really i i thought i was and i did not expect this but you

0:23

know as i was just

0:25

telling you off the air i invited myself on this show yes i would you requested

0:31

and i did i would

0:32

have invited you we're doing we're coming back on the air real time's coming

0:35

back in a few days and

0:37

we always do something to promote it i said let's let's do that show you know i

0:42

like that show why

0:43

can't i do the shows i listen to wow got that in mexico should put that in a it

0:50

looks like it should

0:52

be a ring for maybe for a slash a roadie for a roadie what what season are you

0:59

guys coming into oh

1:01

fuck i don't know seasons it's hard to yeah i could just go by years we started

1:08

on hbo in 2003 but then

1:10

we used to do but the first few years they had us do two seasons they took us

1:14

took them a while to get

1:16

the idea that this is not like the sopranos or any other show this kind of show

1:23

is a habit show it has

1:24

to be on most of the year we used to do a season from february to like may and

1:30

then we'd be off for

1:32

four months and come back for a few months in the fall that's not the way you

1:35

can do it when you're

1:37

following events a live show right so finally somewhere in there they just okay

1:42

so then it was

1:43

one long season as opposed to two so i guess they counted the early years as

1:47

two we've been on hbo since

1:49

2003 but of course i started you were on the old show politically incorrect

1:54

somebody sent me a clip

1:55

of that wow i couldn't even bear to watch it just from the way we looked it was

2:00

too sad time is cruel

2:02

it's it's actually we look better now just because we look douchier uh younger

2:08

of course i mean that's

2:09

the trade-off in life is that you're douchier when you're younger yeah you do

2:14

look more pristine shall

2:15

we say less beaten down by time yeah but that started in 93 so i've already

2:22

passed my we did a 25th

2:24

anniversary show about a year and a half ago yeah in the fall of 18 it aired um

2:31

i couldn't believe that

2:34

do you know they're trying to bring back politically incorrect who is they

2:37

whoever the fuck they are

2:39

they came to me yeah that's so funny because i suggested that a while ago with

2:45

it not with me

2:46

hosting it of course but with somebody else hosting it but i'll have to ask my

2:51

manager about that i thought

2:52

we i guess we sold it i i think that's true when we moved to abc it must be abc

2:58

when we moved to abc

3:00

i think we probably sold them the rights to the show which is was probably

3:06

stupid but at the time

3:07

it made sense and well good luck with it i'm not doing it it was one of those

3:11

questions my manager

3:13

calls me up and says you're not going to want to do this but i'm obligated to

3:16

tell you why wouldn't

3:17

you want to just doesn't seem like something i'd want to do now i'm insulted no

3:21

i'm just i would

3:22

never want to take over your show after you did it and then you got it stripped

3:25

away for saying

3:27

something the whole thing was like you once someone does a show leave it alone

3:32

you know right leave it

3:34

yeah yeah like if you left and they started doing real time with adam corolla

3:39

right you know which is

3:40

exactly what they will be doing it's just come up with a new fucking show you

3:45

know right do you feel

3:48

constrained by the time but the the hour format uh sometimes i was on with howard

3:55

stern recently and

3:56

i was saying that to him and i feel the same sometimes when i watch or listen

4:00

to you um it's

4:02

it's funny america i don't get america like people's attention span is either

4:06

seven seconds or three

4:07

hours yeah there's no there's no in between well uh there's a lot of us that's

4:14

what it is this this

4:15

is a lot of people yeah they're playing to the people the shortest attention

4:18

span they say this

4:19

is all they have this is all that's there that's not true but it takes a big

4:23

risk to play to the

4:24

three hours i mean there are virtues and vices to both of them i mean i do like

4:31

um being forced to

4:35

condense uh and for people i always think of the person watching my show as the

4:40

person who is

4:41

interested in current events but doesn't have the time to follow it during the

4:46

week they've got kids

4:47

and jobs and lives they are going to watch me to catch them up and it's my job

4:55

to obviously entertain

4:57

them but also to point out what's important what what happened this week that

5:01

you should know about

5:03

somewhere in that live hour whether it's in the monologue or in new rules or

5:08

the editorial i do at the

5:10

end or in the panel somewhere i want to cover everything i think you should do

5:15

doesn't necessarily

5:16

mean it's the things that the newspaper or other outlets thought was important

5:21

what i think is

5:23

really important that's what i'm going to cover so there is something to be

5:28

said for condensing

5:29

there's also a lot to be said for letting it breathe you know i mean letting it

5:34

breathe i do miss that

5:36

sometimes i wish i could and very often we're in the middle of a discussion and

5:40

i have to move on

5:41

but i feel like with the way things are going now with streaming like i know hbo

5:45

has their new streaming

5:46

service maybe they could just give you an option to let some some of those

5:51

conversations lengthen out

5:54

it just seems like some of them you're just getting started and you have to cut

5:57

them off you're right

5:58

and again sometimes people just want the headlines very often i'm reading

6:04

something and it's too long

6:05

i just think just you should have given me the new york times starts every

6:10

article

6:11

not just tell me what happened yeah don't give me the background and on a rocky

6:17

road in afghanistan

6:18

and his friend lebowitz once said and remember just get to the part i care

6:23

about right um movies are too long lots of stuff is too long people need

6:28

editors but these kind of conversations lend themselves more than most art

6:34

forms to just letting it happen and yeah it's more natural i mean i like the

6:41

fact that unlike my early days when you'd sweat backstage and you'd hear the

6:45

tonight show band playing it's a

6:47

you know johnny's gonna ask you this and then you're gonna say that and you're

6:50

gonna listen don't fucking veer from this you get in trouble and

6:53

this is good i didn't prepare anything yeah you know obviously you didn't

6:57

prepare anything no i'm kidding i did

7:00

really have no list of questions no no i know you i like you right i i'm sure i'm

7:06

not gonna run out of

7:08

things to ask you or talk to you about but that's a talent in itself that you

7:11

could do that off the top of

7:13

your head i i i think you think it's not that much of a talent but trust me a

7:17

lot of people could not

7:18

do that i don't know if i would trust myself if you said you have two hours

7:22

with this guy

7:23

i i would work i would it would be in the back of my mind like shit what if an

7:28

hour and 10 minutes in

7:30

i'm like fuck i can't take a one more thing i can't imagine if you and i were

7:34

at dinner together

7:35

for two hours we would run out of shit to talk about that's probably true so

7:38

that's this

7:38

okay it's the same shit followed by dead air why complete dead air listen man i've

7:44

been a fan of

7:45

yours for a long time i bought true story and i have you wow yeah i bought that

7:49

book way back in

7:50

the day man i was living in new york it was a great book thank you very underrated

7:55

book on stand-up

7:55

comedy i appreciate that yeah it's a novel yeah you know it's a novelization of

8:00

my early life

8:01

very accurate though like it's you could feel like you live the life and you

8:06

know the names were

8:07

hilarious of the characters you chose no i i worked probably harder on that

8:11

than almost anything i've

8:12

ever done i would never really yeah i would never write another novel well just

8:18

to to make every

8:19

sentence every paragraph funny or telling no extra words to me that's the kind

8:27

of what year did you

8:28

write that i it's funny i started it in the early 80s when i was still almost

8:34

living it and i would get

8:36

busy and put it aside not to look at it for years and then uh i did a this is

8:43

my old life in 1985 in

8:46

december i went down to uh see juatanejo mexico to do the memorable tv movie tv

8:52

movie there there's a

8:53

phrase that dates you the memorable tv movie club med i think we all remember

8:59

it no we don't linda

9:01

hamilton was the star i think i do remember it i hope you don't i remember linda

9:06

hamilton okay in a

9:07

movie yes right with you now i'm picturing it it was a tv movie um and uh we

9:14

stayed at the club med

9:16

um i was in you know it was kind of a low budget thing as far as the people in

9:26

the cast and crew

9:27

went because we stayed at the club med which was not a club med is not a luxury

9:32

hotel you know what

9:33

club meds are you you give up your money you pay everything in beads but you

9:38

don't really need

9:39

money and the room for people who just you're going to enjoy the outside that's

9:43

why you're in mexico

9:44

so the room is monastic right there's no tv because you're out all day you know

9:51

you're just

9:52

going to be in the waves and then you're going to fuck and go to sleep and

9:55

whatever so i had a lot

9:58

of free time because i wasn't in the shot every day but i was in mexico

10:02

eventually i got fucking

10:04

cabin fever down there you know i couldn't wait to get home but i was there a

10:08

long time and had

10:09

nothing to do and i wrote a lot of the novel there and put it away again and

10:14

then i was in a real

10:15

career slump in the early 90s i had finished with acting mostly i didn't want

10:20

to do that anymore i'd

10:22

done a few sitcoms and i didn't want to be the office creep forever and so i

10:27

was just like nowhere

10:29

and that's when i finished it and also that's like the year i did cocaine which

10:36

i probably would not

10:38

have finished it without that it was only one year it was one year i was never

10:41

meant to do cocaine when

10:43

everyone was doing it i never wanted it you know me i'm a pothead like you i i

10:48

it's not my drug

10:49

but you know if you really insist you can get in you can get into any drug and

10:55

i and i just happened

10:56

to be at this point in my life where i was vulnerable to any i had nothing to

11:01

do all day i wasn't working

11:03

so uh it was and it helps you write it helps productivity it's a productivity

11:08

drive i was it was

11:09

never a drug that i liked because i wasn't social on it but i could i used to

11:16

like to have sex on it

11:18

really most men did not i loved that and uh and write but i didn't want to talk

11:23

some people like

11:24

you know that that guy i don't know i was never that guy who did coke and talk

11:28

a blue streak no but

11:30

but it helped me you know concentrate and organize and that kind of stuff and

11:36

you know and then i was

11:37

probably smoking pot too i was smoking cigarettes it was not a healthy year

11:41

that was not a healthy year

11:43

i i'd uh i remember you know you because cocaine which is kids that is the

11:49

worst drug it really is

11:51

because you get a little honeymoon period and then that quickly goes away and

11:54

then you're chasing that

11:56

high and you know it's not healthy and then you know you're you're trying to at

12:00

the end of the night

12:02

take the edge off you know you're into that put the edge i gotta put the edge

12:07

back on i took it off too

12:08

much by drinking jack daniels ah damn now i gotta take it off again i put it on

12:14

too much it it's that

12:16

was i never touched it i got lucky you you very smart i would have probably

12:21

really enjoyed it i think i

12:22

would have really enjoyed it yeah that's probably why i didn't at the again at

12:26

the beginning yeah

12:28

it's very much like a relationship cocaine good at the beginning you know i

12:32

think trails off

12:34

i always say that because resentment there is a time when relationships are

12:39

good spoiler alert it's

12:40

the beginning for a lot of them for sure now when you put that book out um is

12:46

it still in publication

12:47

another great question i'm finding so much about my own life here i didn't know

12:54

because

12:54

the comics incorrect was being redone um comics from my era like guys who grew

12:59

up and got a hold

13:00

that book when we were just starting out there was a it was huge a lot of guys

13:04

passed it around a lot

13:05

of guys talked about it hey you got to get this book yeah no i mean and i tried

13:08

to make it into a

13:09

movie uh there was many scripts written i mean it's my own fault for not

13:15

pushing that through i guess

13:17

but i thought at the time it would really would have made a a good movie but it's

13:24

probably too late

13:26

now and well you definitely have to change the names now it's very hard yeah i

13:31

did in the script

13:32

it's very yeah it's very hard to depict stand-up comedy in a movie in fact one

13:38

of the original

13:39

impetus to write the book was that no one was doing that well i remember that

13:43

movie came out with tom

13:44

hanks remember that punchline punchline okay and tom hanks was good i mean tom

13:48

hanks could could have

13:49

been a stand-up comic he did it as good as you can passable passable but they

13:54

just never capture

13:56

the whole essence of it and also when you're trying to have someone i see this

14:01

on um

14:01

mazel no i haven't seen that yet some show oh the one i think it's jim carrey's

14:08

show

14:09

on showtime about oh i'm dying up here thank you yes and uh

14:14

i i like the show but whenever you're showing a stand-up comic and you're and

14:21

it's acting you're

14:22

acting as a stand-up and then the audience has to laugh yeah there's something

14:26

about it that isn't

14:27

it just you can tell it's not real it's like a boxing scene in a movie same

14:31

thing a little bit yeah

14:32

yes rocky right yeah but that's sometimes purposely over the top this just

14:38

comes off as fake because

14:40

one thing we love about comedy is that laughter is involuntary yeah it's in you

14:46

can't as any

14:48

giant comedy star knows you can walk out at a comedy club and you'll get the

14:52

biggest ovation in

14:53

the world two minutes later you can be dying because it's involuntary yes they're

14:58

thrilled to see you but

14:59

then if you don't say something funny they can't they're not gonna laugh it's

15:03

also a very uniquely

15:06

live thing it's like you have to be right i always say that like if you watch a

15:12

special on tv

15:13

you're really you're getting 60 of the funny you're right you have to be there

15:17

live you if you're there

15:18

live you'll get 100 of it so not only that not only are you watching it not

15:23

live right because you've

15:25

got a recording of it but now it's also a fake recording so it's a guy

15:28

pretending to be on stage

15:30

and an audience pretending to be an audience and the whole thing is a disaster

15:34

yeah so maybe it's

15:35

a blessing in disguise that it never got made a decent job of capturing the the

15:39

marvelous mrs

15:40

maisel does of capturing like the early scene in clubs like of her going up

15:47

drunk and talking

15:48

shit and then people telling her like you could probably do comedy like it

15:52

seems chaotic and real

15:53

but it gets a little less realistic as time goes on but you watch that show and

15:57

you like it yeah i

15:57

like the first two seasons the third season i'm like i hope they're not losing

16:02

me here and it takes

16:03

place in the 50s yeah yeah yeah i would watch something like that except there's

16:08

just too much

16:09

the first one is just too much too many things to watch yeah i mean i put it on

16:13

my list but you know

16:14

i'm gonna get to that and does everything have to be like a season you know

16:20

does everything have to

16:22

be so dry back to our subject everything is either very condensed or way too

16:27

drawn out and you have to

16:28

follow it and you're not like an episode of friends where you don't have to

16:31

know what the fuck happened

16:33

the week before and you just tune in to seinfeld it's not dependent upon the

16:36

week before right it's

16:38

everything's an arc and everything is and people binge i don't binge i i've

16:42

never binged anything

16:44

i i have the opposite problem i have watching add i when i i love to watch tv

16:52

it's the last thing i do

16:54

before i sleep at night um but unless something is absolutely compelling i don't

17:00

watch more than 15

17:01

minutes of it i'll watch 15 minutes of this and then 15 minutes of that and 15

17:04

minutes something

17:05

else thing and then go to sleep you know people are structuring their netflix

17:08

specials that way

17:09

because of that people are doing their closing bit first i read that somewhere

17:14

that yeah you have to

17:16

well you have to grab them that's why every fucking drama is something and then

17:22

six months earlier

17:24

yeah you know we have to go back because you have to grab them first and then

17:29

and it's such a tired

17:30

trope now you know it's like now that we've seen it a hundred times think of

17:34

something else or just go

17:35

really crazy and do something linear well it's you know this whole thing that

17:40

you were saying before

17:42

we either have a second uh seven second attention span or we have three hours i

17:47

i would love to see

17:48

someone try to make a movie like steve mcqueen's lemans because if you don't

17:53

remember that movie

17:54

the old steve mcqueen yeah the old steve mcqueen there's no kids there was a

17:58

steve mcqueen

17:59

before the very talented director oh i didn't know there was a director steve mcqueen

18:04

yes you do who

18:04

who is he was he he he direct what you know right you heard he directed he's an

18:11

african-american he

18:12

directed 12 years a slave i believe okay are you uh are you using your magic

18:18

light box to go and what

18:20

he's a big director he's a big director he's he's a major major guy that steve

18:25

mcqueen oh there he goes

18:27

i didn't know who he is um shame hung widows yes he just did widows never saw

18:32

that um widows 12

18:33

yeah okay anyway i remember the old steve mcqueen too yes steve mcqueen the one

18:39

who died of cancer

18:40

in 1980 i believe i remember him chasing cures in mexico poor guy yeah yeah

18:46

lung cancer uh i think

18:48

probably i think he probably was a heavy smoker and um but yeah he was uh he

18:55

was what about him

18:57

the movie lemans is a really slow beginning there's no talking for like the

19:02

first i don't know how many

19:03

minutes it's just you know people going about their life on the racetrack like

19:07

all preparing for things

19:09

and there's no chat oh you ever try to watch a hitchcock movie oh yeah same

19:13

thing yeah i mean

19:15

it just shows how different the audiences are and how we have developed or undeveloped

19:21

i don't know

19:21

if it's that or if it's that there's an expectation that people have a short

19:26

attention span so that

19:27

everything is made for that expectation no they do they do i think they i do

19:31

think they really do i mean

19:33

the more you i do i i must say as someone who grew up when alfred hitchcock was

19:39

still

19:39

was he still making yeah he made a movie in 1972 i was 16 i saw it in the

19:45

theater it was one of his

19:46

last he was on his last legs but psychohood was 1960 i was too young to for

19:53

that but he was still very

19:55

in vogue and a big director and i tried to watch um i did watch the one he made

20:02

in 1956 the year i was born

20:05

called um the man who knew too much i think it's a story he made three times he

20:11

liked that story about

20:13

the innocent guy who's being chased by somebody and he doesn't know why they're

20:19

chasing him and the police are

20:20

after him but he's he's got to find the bad guys before the police find him it's

20:25

jimmy stewart and

20:27

doris day it is i mean they talked about the master of suspense i mean jesus

20:33

christ it was like the

20:34

master of keeping me from falling asleep uh it's really subtle slow uh i'm

20:42

sorry but i think they've

20:45

improved on that i do maybe that's sacrilege to the movie community and martin

20:49

scorsese will write

20:50

me a letter or something but jesus christ i'd much rather watch salt you know

20:56

there's a thriller that

20:57

moves or the jason bourne those movies i feel like they took what hitchcock was

21:03

doing and yes they

21:06

revved it up and i'm glad they did hitchcock's hard to get through but you also

21:11

have to realize

21:12

when hitchcock was making films they've been only making films for 50 years

21:16

there's a really even less i

21:18

i mean he started in the late 30s right you know i mean talkies had only been

21:22

around for like 10 years

21:24

that's crazy way back yeah yeah so i mean there's something about that like

21:28

even when you think about

21:29

stand-up like if you ever tried listening to lenny bruce i certainly have good

21:34

example yeah i can't do

21:36

it doesn't work anymore it's just contextually we're in a different world but

21:41

any of those old schoolers

21:43

yeah that's a point that's funny it's it's in true story where i talk about how

21:47

those guys who are such

21:48

um icons couldn't make it today because they take too long you could take you

21:55

could take two minutes

21:57

before you got to the punchline you could take two minutes to set something up

22:02

the audience was

22:03

perfectly okay with that you could never do that today jack benny and bob hope

22:09

was more rapid fire

22:10

but a lot of these old schoolers you know i mean i have a never funny list

22:16

and being a friend of mine created years ago and some of them are on it you

22:22

know

22:23

danny thomas and i don't know red skeleton i mean there's some people i thought

22:28

were never

22:29

bill cosby i must say so it was on that list really oh yeah you never thought

22:33

he was funny

22:33

never thought he was funny even when he was doing bill cosby himself like back

22:38

at the album days

22:39

and i may have missed some stuff he did but everything i ever heard even when i

22:43

was a kid

22:44

and i saw him on tv i'm like no i don't like this shit's corny i know i feel

22:49

very very uh ahead of

22:51

my time i never liked him i did well it was one of those things where if you

22:57

had said any of this

22:58

that you're saying 10 years ago people would have been furious at you well but

23:03

now he's been exposed

23:05

somebody told me he was a creep back in 1983. ah okay someone told me in 94.

23:12

yeah yeah so i and it

23:14

somebody i liked not somebody i was romantically involved with but a girl who

23:18

he was horrible to

23:19

and i never liked him after that as a person that makes sense i had heard from

23:25

people on the set

23:26

of news radio that he drugged girls it was like one of those weird things you

23:31

heard as a room like

23:32

what does he do yeah he drug girls like bill cosby bill cosby bill cosby we're

23:36

talking about the

23:37

same guy right it's not like steve mcqueen steve mcqueen will get him confused

23:41

right no i mean

23:43

america's dad america and you have to wonder why a guy who could um get laid

23:50

yeah uh even as a married

23:52

man um that's obviously a sick kink he had but i also know a guy who was a

23:59

promoter and and told

24:03

incredibly ridiculous stories about things that bill cosby did that were not

24:08

sexual but just informed me that what his

24:13

kink is is part of a much larger sickness about control yeah and making people

24:19

do weird things

24:21

because he can let me tell you what i heard you tell me what you heard i heard

24:25

he makes people watch

24:26

him eat curry he would make the whole staff come into his dress room and watch

24:30

him eat i hadn't heard

24:31

that exactly but it's exactly in line with what i heard that he would uh do

24:36

things like make you um

24:39

what was one of them like he would order food and then he would say you know

24:45

scoop out the

24:46

the doughy part of the hamburger bun after you wash your hands and put it back

24:53

on the hamburger

24:56

or once he asked them to send him the soap that he hadn't finished using in the

25:04

dressing room like

25:06

send it to him send it yeah just like crazy crazy shit that again speaks to a

25:16

uh pathology that's

25:19

larger than what we know about him sexually that that fits as a subcategory

25:24

under that because

25:25

to need to have the woman be unconscious yeah that's that's a weird thing i can't

25:32

i can't

25:32

i can't get into i i don't know there's certain things like i can't even

25:37

imagine why someone would

25:38

find it attractive most to be with a child no i can't understand why that would

25:43

be appealing to you

25:44

i can't understand this you know a lot of things i can't understand um i worked

25:49

at a casino and he

25:51

made the security guard tuck him into bed yeah and shut the lights off things

25:57

like i'm gonna lie

25:59

on the bed and i want you to tuck me in shut the lights he had like a whole

26:05

routine that he wanted

26:07

them to follow and he wanted them to tuck him into bed yeah well i had a friend

26:12

who had an interesting

26:13

take on it and he said there is something that happens to some famous people

26:18

particularly famous

26:18

people who were famous a long time ago where they feel like they are better

26:24

than other people that

26:26

there is a giant gap between them and other people and they feel like they can

26:29

do things to people

26:30

and they that what yeah yeah i don't think that's uncommon but his pathology

26:36

but most people try to

26:37

hide that well i think they try to hide that feeling they try to but i think he

26:41

did you know it's called

26:43

acting you know that's why when they're in front of the camera they're so

26:48

charming but we know that

26:49

behind the scenes they're they're not but he seemed to wear it on his sleeve

26:53

well sort of sometimes

26:55

right but the other thing that he was doing in public was he was trying to chastise

26:59

uh other

26:59

comics for using bad words and you know he had a lot of weird control issues

27:04

with that as well

27:05

but my my friend's take on it was that he thinks that there are people that

27:10

they get to this position

27:12

where they think that they're owed things and he thought about that sexually

27:16

too he said he probably

27:17

felt like he was just so above those women that he didn't even want to

27:20

negotiate with them he just

27:22

drugged them and them because he's bill cosby and they should be happy yeah it's

27:27

crazy it's no it's

27:28

no the human mind is the bottom of the ocean it's mostly unexplored a giant

27:36

mystery well especially

27:39

that kind of scenario i mean how many human beings have ever experienced what

27:43

he's experienced he's

27:44

been famous since the 1950s right he was an american icon right rich beyond

27:48

imagination groundbreaker

27:50

and a legitimate world-class stand-up comic who toured the whole world created

27:54

this cosby show that was

27:56

a groundbreaking television show oh yeah so many factors so many factors and

28:00

then on top of that

28:01

a psychotic pervert and a creep and drugging women i mean on top and who knows

28:06

what other other

28:07

fucking shit you probably not just that no you know when someone's that fucked

28:11

up it's probably not just

28:12

they might find like 30 dead cats in his backyard who knows the fucking guys

28:16

into well i somebody told

28:18

me it this may not be true that he was drugging people with animal tranquilizers

28:25

that that's he had a

28:26

vets license or something and that's how it that's how he was because people

28:30

were like how did he get the

28:32

stuff that he was right using for the knockout pills would this would it offend

28:38

you if i put my feet up

28:39

no not at all and when why would it is a man oh it's a man cave i don't know i'm

28:43

gonna ask it's

28:44

your relax it's your place i want you to feel good i put my feet up here all

28:47

the time oh great you got

28:49

some loafers on purpose those are your choice you wore those today i didn't

28:52

even think about it see

28:53

that's that's why i'm saying i'm glad i did this because i don't have to think

28:57

about oh my wardrobe

28:58

but what i'm gonna wear and yeah is johnny gonna like me oh boy did you do the

29:02

night show with johnny

29:03

30 times holy shit 1982 to 1992 wow yeah 30 times yes which just shows you that

29:12

show

29:13

was when i when i started to do it there was such a proliferation of comics you

29:21

could do that show 30

29:22

times and that didn't make me famous i mean it elevated me to a degree it

29:27

legitimized you in show

29:28

business but that at one point just doing the tonight show once made you a star

29:34

but part of what true

29:36

story is about was the comics frustration that they came along at a time when

29:41

it wasn't that unique a

29:43

thing anymore there was too many comics you couldn't swing a dead cat without

29:46

hitting a comic

29:48

so i i have like in my sirius xm uh radio uh in the car the comic stations and

29:58

i love them

30:00

i i would listen and very often see somebody's name i've never heard of this

30:06

comic i'll never see it

30:08

again uh they're doing you know they play four or five minutes of their routine

30:14

it's very professional

30:15

it's funny i'm laughing and who is this person this just and seemed like an innumerable

30:21

supply

30:22

of of very competent stand-ups who have funny bits about the ketchup bottle and

30:29

i don't know

30:31

any of them and i guess they have followings and but you obviously you go to

30:35

the clubs though club

30:37

fuck no that's the thing it's like you go back to high school no i go to the

30:40

high school every day

30:41

you do yeah i work the clubs all the time and so does leno and lots of seinfeld

30:46

chris ross i don't

30:47

get it i don't know why i don't know why you want to do that first of all

30:50

because my friends are there

30:52

i like going there and talking to the other comics that are there all the time

30:55

wow and uh i like to do

30:56

it because it keeps me sharp i do that lineup at the store there's 13 other

31:00

comics on the list

31:01

but i work the road i do that too yeah but i'm saying but that's my how i keep

31:06

sharp as i or as sharp as i

31:09

can be uh is well also i gave up on memorization years ago first of all with

31:15

all the pot i've smoked

31:17

it just wasn't going to happen i've used what i call the poor man's teleprompter

31:22

for oh it's got to

31:23

be 20 years which is i'm a music stand on stage and then i have my notebook

31:29

which has my bullet

31:30

points and i don't think the audience even notices it after i it's very every

31:35

five minutes i'm very

31:36

discreetly moving the page and but that way i don't have to memorize anything

31:41

when i get home from

31:42

the gig i go through it i redo it in the computer print it out and it's it's it's

31:48

just been the greatest

31:49

thing because i can say i can get to exactly what i want to say i hate comics

31:54

who stand up there and go

31:55

what else what else it's like that you should know what else never hear me say

32:01

what else to it

32:02

i know what else and i'm going to tell you i'm going to try to condense it i'm

32:05

going to give you

32:06

the best show i can for 90 minutes and then leave look i mean you certainly can

32:13

do it that way

32:17

yeah we all have our own way yeah everybody's got their own way of doing it

32:20

yeah we are i i like to

32:21

be around a lot of other comics like a large number of very good comics all the

32:27

time i think you feed

32:28

off each other like i'm on the road all the time when i'm on the road i'm with

32:31

my friends i you know

32:32

i go and tour with other i know you do very funny comics yeah but when i'm in

32:37

town i just like to be

32:38

around as many as i can you should do my hawaii gig one year you know i have a

32:43

steady well i ran into

32:44

natasha and motion did it last year yeah i ran into them and maui i was like

32:48

what are you guys doing

32:49

like oh we're working with bill oh my god oh in maui yeah you were there yes i

32:53

was there with my

32:54

family we were just uh vacationing next year is the 10th it was like it was

32:59

like uh new year's right

33:00

yes i started this 10 years ago nobody would book it they they all said uh hawaii's

33:05

a dead market

33:07

and i found this promoter uh who was okay i'll try it and it worked of course

33:14

honolulu is a big city

33:15

they're it's more than a million people there yes and maui so we do maui on december

33:22

30th and we do

33:22

new year's eve in honolulu and there's always surprises and um this year sarah

33:30

silverman did it and bobby

33:32

slayton and we have some some sometimes some very well-known musicians who join

33:38

us uh woody harrelson

33:40

is also in maui and plays with us a little bit it just even towers in maui too

33:46

yes i saw him there one

33:47

year um but maybe you'd consider slumming and it's a great fun trip and you're

33:54

with comics and

33:55

uh i've never performed in hawaii every time i go there it's just to chill well

34:01

i'm gonna hit you

34:01

up on that okay

34:02

i stopped doing new year's eve shows on my own that's the great thing about it

34:10

i always hated

34:11

new year's eve what a day and the show is at eight o'clock so okay we so it's

34:17

just a show it's a regular

34:18

show right right right no exactly it's a regular show eight to ten or maybe a

34:25

little after ten

34:26

we always the whole group sings smile at the end of it i made that a tradition

34:33

the old charlie chaplin

34:34

smile though your heart is aching you know that one sure well you'll have to

34:40

learn it

34:42

and jesus what a weird gig and uh well it's new year's eve you got to do

34:46

something as you send them

34:47

off it's only an hour and a half left in the new year in the old year and i

34:51

feel like that was the

34:52

appropriate song because it was a song written by a comedian charlie chaplin it's

34:57

a hundred years old

34:59

it was a hit in the 50s for nat king cole michael jackson uh redid it in the 90s

35:05

when he was on

35:06

trial for child molestation chose to do a song by charlie chaplin the most

35:11

famous child molester so

35:13

that was michael's way of charlie chaplin was a child molester well charlie chaplin

35:17

but i think back

35:18

then they didn't call it that but yes he married i didn't know anything oh yes

35:23

he married like it was

35:25

like jerry lee lewis he was like with 14 year olds really charlie chaplin yes i

35:31

don't think i'm talking

35:32

out of school about charlie chaplin can you conjure something up there on your

35:36

magic light box jamie

35:38

and see if uh see if there's information that what are we i believe i just didn't

35:42

know it says child

35:44

molester yes charlie chaplin famous for it for that and you know back then i

35:50

don't think they got you

35:51

for it but what did they did what was the legal age back then possibly none

35:58

right they probably didn't

35:59

know i don't know if they even had such a concept i mean we're talking about an

36:05

era before women

36:07

they weren't letting women vote right teens they didn't women didn't vote till

36:12

1920. i don't know

36:12

know if they were child labor laws um i just don't know well priscilla presley

36:17

wasn't she like 14 when

36:19

correct yeah and that was elvis was a child molester too and that was the 50s

36:24

right right and that well

36:26

he he went into the army in 58 so that's when he met her in germany her father

36:31

was a colonel and she

36:33

was 14 and of course he was 25 and a giant rock star and he says to the colonel

36:40

would you mind if i took

36:41

your 14 year old daughter back to america she can live with me at graceland and

36:46

it'll all be good and

36:48

the guy says enjoy what the was wrong with people back then those are different

36:53

human beings so it's

36:55

not just a hundred years ago no no we're we're we're so different just yeah

36:59

just are i mean i'm a little

37:01

older than oh 16 year old harris met actor charlie chaplin 16 is not as that's

37:08

not even i don't think

37:10

the worst one it's a famous one i mean is there uh like charlie chaplin the pervert

37:16

or child blaster

37:16

yes there definitely is um but yes he's fairly young but people died young back

37:22

then i was thinking

37:23

recently people were just rougher yeah you know i mean you and i i think walk

37:29

the same path very often

37:32

talking about we i think are progressives but we have short patience with some

37:37

of the fragile

37:38

yes woke bullshit yeah okay and some of that is just the way you're brought up

37:43

i think kids are coddled

37:45

you know i think uh they're indulged and that's the reason why they freak out

37:50

over microaggressions and

37:51

stuff and some of that is just i was telling someone this story not a not apropos

37:57

of this just talking

37:58

about something else but it just reminded me that here i'm a kid who had i

38:04

think a a normal middle class

38:07

upbringing i consider it an idyllic time um i i consider it an innocence you

38:17

couldn't buy today

38:19

i mean first of all i grew up in new jersey uh in the 60s there was no racial

38:25

issues because there

38:26

was only one race in town that's just the way it was i'm not saying that's good

38:31

it wasn't but that's

38:32

so there weren't racial issues there weren't drug issues i didn't i didn't try

38:36

pot in high school

38:37

i may have maybe there was a rumor that a few kids were doing it but that wasn't

38:42

even a thing

38:43

there wasn't even any like divorce it was really the land that time forgot you

38:49

know it was leave it to

38:50

beaver land and i was telling someone this time my father who grew up in the

38:56

depression

38:58

uh cheap i you know love him dearly but i don't think that's the wrong word and

39:04

sent us to an army

39:06

friend of his as the dentist and this is 1964 i was eight and did not use novocaine

39:13

and i remember vividly like he i had like eight cavities that had to be filled

39:19

he said

39:20

if it hurts raise your hand you know as the drill went into my it's like okay

39:25

so they're drilling into

39:27

me and then i'm riding home up this big hill it was cold on my bike with the

39:34

tears freezing on my

39:36

cheek so get to the dentist yourself first of all they wouldn't do that today

39:39

they don't let kids just

39:40

be on their own like get your ass to the dentist on your bike get home after

39:46

they drill into you with

39:47

no novocaine and i'm saying i wasn't raised by bad people no people were just rougher

39:54

yeah it was just

39:55

a rougher time and i i wouldn't recommend these things exactly necessarily

40:01

although getting some

40:01

place on your own i don't think is the worst thing in the world but a little

40:06

more of that have you ever

40:07

had jonathan hate on your show yeah the his book the coddling of the american

40:11

mind is exactly about that

40:13

and he believes that you should let your kids roam around and let let them find

40:17

their way home and

40:18

there is a movement for that yeah we that's how i was raised i came home from

40:23

from school fly into

40:26

the house change into my play clothes fly out the door my mother never said

40:31

where are you going what

40:33

are you doing and you know you were gone yeah and again and leave it to beaver

40:38

town there was a six

40:40

o'clock whistle really yeah at the firehouse the whistle went off time for

40:45

dinner and then you

40:46

right and then you got your ass home when you heard the whistle we didn't have

40:51

watches or phones or

40:52

you know i don't want i mean i don't want to compare it it's a it's a different

40:59

world for sure

41:00

between the way we grew up and the way they're growing up today um i don't know

41:04

what's better i don't

41:06

know which one's better there's certainly a lot of high babies today yeah but

41:11

there's also a thing

41:12

today where we're we're giving them access to information way quicker so there's

41:18

got to be and

41:19

this is this is not something that's been studied right like what happens to a

41:23

young mind when it has

41:25

access to almost anything as soon as you get a phone you're given 12 year olds

41:29

13 year olds phones

41:31

and then they have access to everything in the world everything porn instantly

41:35

which i you know

41:37

you're talking to a libertine but i do not think porn is benign i do not it is

41:44

not benign not not the

41:46

way it is now on the computer i mean it's it's rapey it's um it's it's sites

41:53

are you going to any any

41:55

site i'm not getting the rapey porn but i think it's not benign because please

41:59

it's not it's not

42:01

it's domineering yes it's a lot of things that i am not interested in even in

42:06

my fantasies i was doing

42:07

a bit about that in my last special like even in my fantasies i don't want to

42:12

choke anybody yeah i i

42:14

don't want to come on your face i mean come on coming on your face that that's

42:18

not rapey or domineering

42:21

or i mean i i find that off-putting and gross it doesn't that doesn't move me

42:27

and nothing i don't

42:28

get it but that's half of what porn hub is well i think what half of it is now

42:33

is a lot of stepsister

42:34

stuff as like stepfather stepsisters what's that all about because people are

42:39

trying to be naughty and

42:40

there's nothing naughty left because like the idea of porn originally was like

42:44

i can't believe these

42:45

people are having sex like go back and watch porn from the 80s so they're just

42:48

having sex ass

42:49

fucking choking come on your face spitting yeah yeah it's gross and it's and so

42:56

i'm not surprised that

42:58

kids have mental problems because of sex yes if i mean what what's the first

43:06

date a first real date

43:07

like right when you saw you know a team of japanese businessmen come on some

43:12

school girl's face when

43:14

you were 10. oh you saw that one the bus that's that was a rough one i think it

43:19

was a flight attendant

43:20

i don't think it was a school girl yeah um the uh there was a squid yeah oh

43:25

there's always squids

43:27

they're into octopuses tentacles and shit yes yeah it's it's not necessarily

43:33

benign but neither is

43:34

alcohol neither is gambling i'm not saying it's a lot of other behavior yeah

43:38

but i mean if i was a

43:39

parent yeah it's an issue keep it away from kids there's also an issue that you

43:44

don't tell kids

43:45

about it so they don't they find out from other kids there's no discussion of

43:49

what it is there's no

43:51

like real like no one in their right mind would ever sit down and watch porn

43:56

with their son and say

43:57

this is what i want you to avoid like this is why i want you to avoid this

44:00

right but it's probably not the

44:02

worst idea i mean look it's there there comes a legality issue like i mean i

44:08

don't even think it's

44:10

legal to watch porn with a 13 year old kid but if you if you have a son and he's

44:15

13 and you know he's

44:16

going to be exposed to these things you almost have a responsibility to talk

44:19

him through it and just give

44:21

him some to give him some understanding of what it what is the landscape here's

44:26

a big one why these girls

44:27

doing this okay here's something that people don't like to admit that enjoy

44:31

porn the vast majority of

44:32

them have been molested the vast majority of who has been molested porn art

44:36

porn actors porn stars yeah

44:38

yeah yeah yeah there's some study they did on um girls who get into porn who've

44:44

been sexually abused

44:45

mentally abused and physically abused it was overwhelming it was overwhelming i

44:49

mean obviously it's just

44:50

anecdotal it's based on one group of people that they i don't know if it's the

44:54

largest study it's not

44:55

not surprising at all no so they're searching for acceptance and they're

44:59

willing to do something

45:00

that's way outside the norm i'm sure there's just some girls are just really

45:04

promiscuous they're into

45:05

sex and there's nothing wrong with them they just love it and they love

45:07

performing but i think there's

45:09

less of them than there are of the girls who were probably abused and you know

45:13

maybe they turn a

45:14

negative into a positive i'm not saying right they shouldn't do it i'm not

45:17

casting any judgment but i

45:19

am saying that you should understand what this thing is like what this why how

45:23

come some people like to

45:24

fuck on camera and everybody else is afraid you know that you're going to see

45:27

their genitals i don't

45:28

know about the watching porn with your uh son joe but yeah i wouldn't suggest

45:33

it either i'm just saying

45:35

i'm kidding but uh what i would tell a kid especially a boy um is son what you're

45:45

seeing in porn don't

45:48

think that women really like that because they don't they don't want to have

45:54

somebody come on their face

45:56

someone must we were talking of course someone likes anything that's one of the

46:00

bad things about

46:01

the internet is that you could in the old days if you were some sort of weirdo

46:06

pervert you thought

46:07

and it was the world was better because you thought that you were completely

46:10

alone in the world

46:11

now whatever your kink is you could put it on the internet you could write you

46:16

know i want a hooker

46:17

to shit on me while i play with electric trains and it's a whole category a

46:22

thousand people in two minutes

46:25

who are saying me too yeah and that i don't know that now you have a community

46:30

yeah of electric

46:31

train shit around you got an echo chamber yes they're all enjoying shitting on

46:35

you with electric

46:36

chains so that's all unhealthy but but i just don't think that i mean that

46:41

would be my main lesson to a

46:43

to a adolescent boy okay we can't keep the porn away from you just don't think

46:49

that's real the way real

46:52

women are or what real women like i don't think they like tinder either in fact

46:57

i watched some documentary

46:59

i can't remember what it was called i think it was on hbo about

47:05

dating on social media and that was the main theme of it was women are doing it

47:10

young women but they

47:11

don't like it and it's not surprising they don't like it guys are of course

47:15

wired very differently

47:16

and they just want to hook up and move on i read also an article about it and

47:21

the i think it was in

47:23

vanity fair and the the woman says okay she did it once she tried tinder she

47:28

goes to a hotel or meets a

47:30

guy she had just met over the phone and they fuck and then she said as i was

47:37

getting dressed i turned

47:39

around and he was sitting on the bed looking at tinder whoa you know so he had

47:44

just come and here

47:45

he is looking for the next fix victim and victim this is this willing

47:52

participant yeah i said i'm not i'm

47:53

i'm not i'm not i don't mean i didn't mean no you're right she's the next he's

47:58

a predator she was a

47:59

willing to right predator how dare you that's what i'm saying he's out there

48:03

hunting yeah trying to get

48:05

gals but it's just what his gals trying to get the ladies yeah um but women it's

48:13

not designed for

48:13

women's sensibilities no not most women no they had remember ashley madison

48:19

yeah yeah it was the

48:21

cheating site and it was like uh 12 000 women and 126 million men it was like

48:28

some crazy number like

48:30

that and most of the women on it were hookers too there's a lot of them that

48:33

were fake they had like

48:34

fake accounts it's yeah that was hilarious when you have when you have a dating

48:39

site set up just for

48:40

people that want to cheat and then they all get busted because someone hacks

48:44

into it like do you

48:45

fucking dummies use your real name like jesus christ i mean just that you ever

48:51

read that book sapiens

48:54

yes such a great book and he goes into the fact that monogamy probably not what

49:01

what is wired in us

49:03

it's the reason why there's so much misery about relationships is it probably

49:09

wasn't that way

49:10

in early man and i'm saying early man like human homo sapiens which haven't

49:14

been on earth that long

49:16

there's no primates that are monogamous they've never found right and we are

49:20

primates right and um

49:22

we probably had a system system is just how we were that was closer to the chimps

49:31

and where it was like

49:32

communal fatherdom you know you didn't really know whose kid it was so there

49:36

wasn't this possessiveness

49:38

because you know i guess the women fuck different men in the in the grouping

49:44

and there wasn't that

49:45

feeling of i own you right and this pussy's mine and all that you read sex at

49:50

dawn no it's basically

49:52

about that okay my friend dr chris ryan wrote it okay interesting uh that's it's

49:56

basically about that

49:57

it's about how people behave the polyamorous relationships they had in these

50:02

right primitive

50:03

cultures and that before dna testing and before they understood paternity that's

50:07

really what it was

50:08

all about is about the community would raise children everybody would rate and

50:11

they would there was a lot

50:12

of like shared sex in between different people so much so much of love is i

50:18

think possessiveness what

50:21

people think is love it's not love you know and and also you make me feel good

50:27

is not love either

50:28

to me and they always say love is the thing that has never been able to be

50:32

defined i don't think it's

50:34

that hard it's it's selflessness it's when i care for your happiness more than

50:40

my own that's love in

50:42

any kind of relationship man or woman or at least as much as my own yeah right

50:47

and if if you if being

50:48

without me would actually make you happier then i'm for that that's love that's

50:55

not that would not

50:57

characterize most of my early relationships how i felt and what i thought well

51:01

what love was well it's

51:03

interesting when we look at other animals right because you blow no that's not

51:07

love

51:07

in other animals monogamy isn't a choice like the animals that are monogamous

51:15

monogamous they don't have

51:16

any desire like it's naturally built in wired into their system it's not like

51:21

they choose like swans

51:22

there's a bunch of them penguins for instance penguins yeah there's a few ones

51:26

are gay we know

51:27

that they all look the same they might as well be gay they aren't they're gay

51:31

wasn't there a big

51:32

thing about gay penguins well there was a story i feel like about gay penguins

51:37

or really yeah there's

51:38

something because i feel like the usual suspects on the right yeah look up charlie

51:44

chaplin gay penguins

51:46

fucking um smile there's something they were there maybe it was a story

51:52

something that made the

51:54

evangelicals mad about penguins yeah about penguins i think it's penguins maybe

51:59

it's they were in my

52:00

point would be that any of these animals that are doing this they're not doing

52:03

this because they have a

52:04

choice they understand what it is oh new york times gotcha gay penguins and

52:08

their hope for a baby

52:09

have enchanted berlin two male penguins the zoo berlin have adopted there that's

52:13

it that's what it is

52:15

two male penguins adopted an egg people are upset delighting germans but

52:19

upsetting pat robertson big

52:21

time oh was he bummed out about that yes somebody like that was or all of them

52:25

were i'm sure the family

52:27

council those types you think they want to have the example of penguins being

52:31

gay i wonder what that

52:33

leads to even give a fuck or if it's just a hustle at this point do you think

52:36

they really give a

52:37

fuck about these penguins being gay i think they have to say something because

52:40

it's some new thing to

52:41

talk about and it gives them fuel yeah for outrage yeah it's a juicy story in

52:45

the news they could jump on

52:47

yeah i mean pat robertson is it he's still on tv right he said yeah he needs

52:53

material like you and i do

52:54

yes that's what i'm thinking yeah yeah yeah yeah you never know what these

52:59

people okay penguins that's

53:00

where that's where you draw the line that's it that's enough their their agenda

53:06

has moved over to

53:07

the penguins such a strange time it's a strange time where like we're i i feel

53:14

like if you read steven

53:15

steven pinker stuff he talks about how yes this life has never really been

53:20

easier than we have it today

53:22

right but it's also probably one of the reasons why people are so outraged

53:25

about things today

53:26

is just there's it's so there's less real shit that's dangerous in this world

53:34

there's less there

53:36

still is real danger there's still real murder and real rape and real robberies

53:40

but there's less of

53:41

it than ever before but yet there's more outrage than ever before about

53:45

nonsense things well when

53:47

societies get too successful and you could make that claim about america that's

53:51

when they become a feat

53:52

and that's when they become soft yes and that's when they fall this is a story

53:56

that goes back to

53:58

ancient rome and lots of other societies you you're you're a victim of your

54:03

success in a large way we're

54:05

we're that because yes people don't we're just talking about how people were rougher

54:10

yeah no novocade you

54:12

know that wasn't even the roughest thing we don't know hardship except for that

54:17

sliver of the country

54:19

that fights the wars those people know hardship of course we do have poverty in

54:24

america but there's

54:26

also a fairly substantial safety net that this country has i mean nobody

54:32

compares in other parts

54:33

of the world but you know there's parts of the world that are real with crime

54:36

and gangs yeah oh of

54:37

those those those people deal with real hardship oh real hardship those are the

54:40

people coming from

54:41

central those central american countries that they always are freaking out

54:45

about the trump administration

54:47

because yes when gangs rule the country in el salvador and honduras those

54:54

places life is precarious and

54:57

easy to lose yeah but i know stephen pinker's point you know which is a great

55:03

point is like let's not

55:04

forget that in the last 20 30 years the amount of people we've risen out of

55:11

extreme poverty the people

55:13

who used to live on a dollar a day um it wasn't that long ago when i read this

55:19

that a billion people

55:20

defecate in the street you know that's where they poop that's all improved

55:28

greatly now part of the reason why

55:32

trump people are upset about jobs and stuff and going overseas well that's part

55:38

of the reason why is

55:38

because we lifted out of extreme poverty people all over the world but they

55:43

took those manufacturing

55:44

jobs that's why they're not living in extreme poverty and why they're not pooping

55:49

in the street because

55:50

they're making trump ties as opposed to somebody in ohio so pick your poison

55:58

yeah i mean this is like what

56:01

we're talking about with us growing up that life was rougher and life is easier

56:07

today and but you have

56:08

more access to information so maybe it could be better and then things seem to

56:11

be moving in a better

56:13

direction in terms of things being safer less violence less crime less rape and

56:17

then people also get

56:19

upset at you bringing up those statistics that's where it's really interesting

56:23

that pinker gets attacked

56:24

for just stating statistical facts just say and he's not making value judgments

56:29

he's just saying hey

56:31

things are if you look at the overall numbers of things this is the safest time

56:35

to be alive ever

56:36

it's and the people know but what about this what about that like it's a

56:39

horrible hallmark of our era

56:41

that we live in that facts almost always come second yes your political agenda

56:47

comes first yeah and if it

56:49

doesn't fit in then we don't want to hear those facts and that's the left and

56:53

the right yeah it is the left

56:54

and the right it's both and it's um it's it should be it should be something

57:00

that everybody rejects it

57:02

should be something that angers everyone it shouldn't be tied to one party or

57:07

another party and it really

57:08

should be something that if there's a there's a real problem with communication

57:13

in this society one of

57:15

them is the denial of actual facts and information if we if we know things we

57:19

have rock solid statistics

57:21

whether it's about climate change whether it's about war the budget whatever

57:24

the it is if you have a

57:25

real number yes and you want to spin and deny and like that that's a giant

57:30

problem it's a giant problem

57:32

right i get madder at the left because i want them to be better and they should

57:37

be better and they're

57:39

the they're the science party and they're supposedly the fact people i expect

57:43

this from the right right

57:45

denying climate change and so forth they've been doing that for a long time the

57:50

left has this dirty

57:51

thing if you disagree with them in any way you become an alt-right person like

57:55

right i mean it's

57:56

obviously a small sliver of people doing this yeah boy i got stuck in this alt-right

58:01

category i'm like

58:02

you guys are out of your mind i've never voted right in my life right i i know

58:06

but there's a there's a

58:08

a i feel like i'm sure as you do sometimes a man without a country yes and

58:14

there's a group of us

58:15

sam harris yes people you've had on yeah jordan peterson barry weiss yeah you

58:21

know i just we're

58:22

all progressives yeah but sensible progressives real progressives real progressives

58:26

we're not blindly

58:28

ideological to our party yeah right and we don't chase these virtue signalers

58:35

yeah who are always

58:38

as a friend of mine said they wake up offended yeah um and i i'm always reading

58:44

a story

58:45

like daily i read something and what goes through my mind is this country now

58:51

is completely binary

58:53

there's only two camps we're totally tribal you're either red or blue liberal

58:58

or conservative and

59:00

everything that one side does that anybody does that represents that side has

59:07

to be owned by that entire

59:09

side because people will go you well you're the party of so whenever there's

59:14

something on the left

59:16

that's cuckoo crazy we all own it and that's one reason why trump won sure

59:22

because people you go through the

59:25

polling his fans are not oblivious to his myriad flaws what they love about him

59:30

what they all say

59:31

they love is he wasn't politically correct it's it's hard to measure how much

59:36

people have been choking

59:37

on that political correctness they do not want to walk on eggshells yeah they

59:41

do want do not want to

59:43

think that one little misstep and they'll get fired or it'll be castigated and

59:48

these are not just famous

59:49

people i mean these are just regular people and i think when someone reads the

59:53

kind of stories you see

59:54

every day and it's an eye roll and it's a eye roll at the left that's when you

1:00:00

lose people i'll give

1:00:02

you an example i was about two weeks ago the giants my football team the new york

1:00:08

football giants

1:00:10

cut oh i think his name is janoris jenkins using the r word yes we have to say

1:00:18

the r word no you

1:00:20

can say retarded okay well we're just we're not saying it you gotta look like i

1:00:25

don't know what the

1:00:26

fucking rules are yes and he he okay first of all i don't understand why that

1:00:32

generation feels the

1:00:33

need to engage with their fans on twitter but he was and someone needs to teach

1:00:37

him social media

1:00:39

some guy was criticizing him and he's a good cornerback or safety uh whatever

1:00:43

he is and the

1:00:44

was criticizing him and he answered back yeah again i don't know why but saying

1:00:50

here are my stats

1:00:52

i'm pretty good i only can do my job right i'm not retard okay wait better if

1:00:57

he had three dots

1:00:58

part of the story i'm going to explain so then the guy the fan says well why

1:01:04

does it matter the team is

1:01:05

losing and that's when janoris jenkins said i can only do my job retard and cut

1:01:14

like cut from the team

1:01:16

cut like the next day and first of all i think he said it's something i thought

1:01:21

it was a hood thing

1:01:23

you know maybe janoris jenkins didn't get the memo because he's not you know

1:01:28

like on twitter

1:01:30

24 7 and living with the wokesters that we don't do this anymore i think they

1:01:35

offered him a chance

1:01:35

to apologize and he said i think he did did he i think he did he did after they

1:01:39

cut him but

1:01:40

yeah i don't think he like stood i insist on saying this word but you know

1:01:47

there seems like there's no

1:01:48

room anymore for someone just to go oh sorry i didn't realize this was such a

1:01:52

thing because you know

1:01:54

they do move the goalposts right often and they like to because it's easier to

1:01:57

catch people that

1:01:58

way so how about just oh sorry i guess you know we don't do this anymore my bad

1:02:03

and move on with our

1:02:04

lives instead of no you're canceled you're cut you are irredeemable yeah it's

1:02:10

hard ridiculous it's

1:02:11

ridiculous and what i'm saying is like every day there's some story like that

1:02:16

and it just all goes into

1:02:17

the bin left wing yeah and that's when people go you know what trump's an

1:02:22

asshole i don't like him

1:02:24

but i don't want to live in that world these people are even crazier yeah and

1:02:30

that is the great

1:02:31

danger of re-electing him and that very well may do it yeah it very well may

1:02:36

yeah this over correction

1:02:38

overreaction and things like that infuriates people and they they love it when

1:02:43

trump says crazy

1:02:44

shit because it sounds like something that they would say he's trolling like he

1:02:48

had that one speech

1:02:49

where he's talking about china this is the way you talk to china say listen

1:02:52

motherfuckers yeah everybody

1:02:53

went yes yes like just that alone like i even laughed and clapped i was like

1:02:59

that's hilarious

1:03:01

because that is what you would hope some crazy version of a president would say

1:03:06

that would never

1:03:07

really exist but all of a sudden he exists he sometimes he says something that

1:03:11

i totally do not

1:03:12

want a president to say but if he wasn't president like for example when he was

1:03:18

confronted may have been

1:03:20

by bill o'reilly when he was still extant uh about putin killing journalists or

1:03:27

something and trump said

1:03:29

something like uh well we're not so innocent either yeah now i don't think the

1:03:34

president of the united

1:03:36

states should say that but you know who else says that noam chomsky yeah that's

1:03:41

like something noam

1:03:42

chomsky says america's guilty of also being doing these horrible things we're

1:03:47

not innocent either yeah

1:03:48

he would be a little bit more articulate about it but yeah right yeah but the

1:03:52

point is that no one

1:03:53

judges anymore by the content of what they say it's just by whose team are you

1:03:58

on yes so if you liked it

1:03:59

when norm noam chomsky said it you shouldn't hate it that much when trump said

1:04:05

it or vice versa if you

1:04:07

hated it that norm chomsky said it then you should hate it that trump said it

1:04:10

but that's not how people

1:04:11

react well the team thing is so prevalent that even when he does something

1:04:15

militarily like backs out of

1:04:17

a country you see people on the left criticizing him for not not going in or

1:04:22

not not engaging like jesus

1:04:24

christ you guys are supposed to be the people that always don't want war and

1:04:28

when someone who's the president

1:04:29

does something that's not a move towards war we should all be saying yes please

1:04:35

more of this

1:04:36

he's got a good thing here's a good thing it's not like but we want to categorize

1:04:40

people as being

1:04:41

like you said one or zero binary irredeemable like either chosen or irredeemable

1:04:47

and you have to be

1:04:47

very careful with how you talk or you get labeled in in one or two of those

1:04:52

categories and people are so

1:04:53

scared now communicate it's i had a conversation with a friend a while back and

1:04:59

he was a crazy

1:05:00

conversation it was alcohol involved but he said something really ridiculous he

1:05:04

was saying that

1:05:04

maybe it's good that uh women get so much money in divorce because of all the

1:05:09

they've been through

1:05:11

from men over the years and i was like what do you like what does that have to

1:05:15

do with money and divorce

1:05:17

like if that's an individual person that's getting money from another

1:05:21

individual person is she getting is

1:05:22

she collecting is this like reparations for all the horrible things that have

1:05:26

happened for women

1:05:27

and he goes well and so he starts getting defensive he goes well what about uh

1:05:30

income inequality the

1:05:31

women have to deal with i go oh jesus i go well you know that's not real right

1:05:35

and he goes what do you

1:05:36

mean i go it's not like they have the same jobs it's not like both women the

1:05:39

man and a woman are both

1:05:41

mailmen they both do the same amount of houses but the man makes a dollar when

1:05:44

the woman makes 70 cents he

1:05:46

goes that's exactly what it is i go the it is that's not what it is it's

1:05:49

illegal it is illegal

1:05:50

we've already passed that i had to explain right everybody walked on eggshells

1:05:55

everybody was like

1:05:56

oh jesus what are you saying right you're saying income inequality is not real

1:05:59

right no it's not not

1:06:01

not that it's not real there's so many of those mic drop yeah phrases that they

1:06:06

use you know kids in

1:06:07

cages yes which of course we don't want kids in cages but there's a whole

1:06:11

discussion to be had about

1:06:12

immigration yeah as opposed to just kids in cages or islamophobia of course

1:06:17

that is a real thing it

1:06:18

exists but there's a whole other discussion but just these look the left often

1:06:24

uninformed yeah they

1:06:25

just are but they have these bullet points that they feel like they definitely

1:06:29

can shut a conversation

1:06:30

down that's what i mean they don't feel like they have to learn a lot about a

1:06:34

subject yeah because

1:06:36

you have these mic drop sayings or phrases that just stop people from talking

1:06:42

well i'd fortunately

1:06:44

known the actual statistics and so when we were talking about i was saying they'll

1:06:47

know they choose

1:06:48

different jobs and also they negotiate for themselves differently yes they need

1:06:53

to negotiate for

1:06:54

themselves better well that's one of the things when people accuse jordan peterson

1:06:57

to be in sexes you

1:06:58

know jordan peterson literally counseled and coached women how to be more

1:07:02

assertive in their jobs to get

1:07:03

better raises sure it was really explaining how to do this and and and just

1:07:09

even maybe possibly against

1:07:10

your better instincts to exert yourself and show that you understand your value

1:07:15

and this is what men

1:07:16

do and this is why men get raises and oftentimes women just kind of keep it to

1:07:19

themselves and they're

1:07:20

a little nervous about it but it is amazing i mean you mentioned divorce yeah

1:07:25

they don't assert as well

1:07:27

going for a raise but boy the divorce thing i mean that can go both ways if the

1:07:34

woman is the one who has

1:07:35

more money yeah but when the does that ever happen that's like women who beat

1:07:38

up men like

1:07:39

you know women right women beat men up too like when i hear that i'm like oh my

1:07:44

god go to the gym

1:07:45

yes you should go to the gym man it's like these men's rights are like

1:07:51

there's so much to make fun of men's rights guys but i had one of them on my

1:07:57

one of my

1:07:58

comedy specials i had a bit about it where they were saying do you know that

1:08:01

men get raped more

1:08:02

often than women i go yeah by other men you idiot exactly like i remember that

1:08:08

yeah chicks are out

1:08:09

there raping dudes what do you think cheerleaders are out there raping cops uh

1:08:13

have you had christina

1:08:14

hoff summers yes okay yeah i love her yeah i love her too she was on our show

1:08:18

recently and you know

1:08:20

we were talking about the fact that also they don't bring up a lot of the time

1:08:24

that most of the horrible

1:08:27

dirty jobs in the world yes are done by men yeah they're the ones who are up on

1:08:31

the telephone pole

1:08:32

most likely to die on the job most likely to be murdered most likely to go to

1:08:35

jail yeah most likely to

1:08:37

get a much longer jail sentence yeah for the same crime so we're not crying

1:08:42

about being men we're just

1:08:43

saying as she says life is a complex yes mixture of advantages and

1:08:50

disadvantages yeah i think the

1:08:52

pendulum's swinging the other way though i think really dumb statements like

1:08:56

all white men like

1:08:57

which used to hear on twitter and people used to like applaud and retweet it i

1:09:01

think people are now

1:09:01

like oh what the fuck well that's a little out there but i have heard when now

1:09:06

it's going in the

1:09:07

other direction because the race is winnowing but at the point of say six

1:09:11

months a year ago when

1:09:13

lots of people were getting into the race at some point there were 24 democrats

1:09:17

in there and when a

1:09:18

white guy would get in it was very common to hear do we need another white guy

1:09:23

yeah and uh that was

1:09:26

completely okay yeah on the left and it's like okay but then we are saying that

1:09:32

we are using race yes

1:09:33

to judge whether someone is qualified right yeah exactly we are using race and

1:09:40

gender to say whether

1:09:41

someone is qualified just so we understand what we're doing here because i don't

1:09:45

think that's exactly

1:09:46

what martin luther king meant no when he said judge by the content of their

1:09:51

character and not the color of

1:09:52

their skin which seems to elude a certain what's the dumbest form of identity

1:09:57

politics and it's really

1:09:59

ridiculously dumb when they don't realize that that same sort of strategy is

1:10:02

going to come right back

1:10:03

around at you it's like people that think that oh that guy's pissing me off i'm

1:10:06

gonna go punch him

1:10:07

well guess what he's gonna punch you back like this is this is not it's not

1:10:11

that simple when when you if

1:10:13

you go around judging people based on their gender and their their color and

1:10:18

their race guess what they're

1:10:19

gonna do that to you now like this is it's it's a terrible strategy i want to i

1:10:25

i want to know how

1:10:26

the divorce laws came to be i do i want to know i somebody must have written a

1:10:32

book on it i just want

1:10:34

to know how we got to this place where um you know first of all this idea that

1:10:40

you have to live in the

1:10:41

style of which you've become accustomed i can help you here i can help you

1:10:45

great couple couple ways here's

1:10:47

the big one lawyers make a lot of money if there's a large settlement so it's

1:10:53

lawyers yes lawyers don't

1:10:55

make a lot of money if there's no settlement you know phil hartman when he was

1:10:59

getting divorced one

1:11:00

of the things that he said to me i go dude just give her half come on man you

1:11:03

make a lot of money

1:11:04

he goes it's not half he was crazed he's like it's two-thirds he goes the

1:11:07

lawyers get a third it's

1:11:09

a goddamn scam and i've had friends that have gotten divorced and even though

1:11:12

they were they had come to an

1:11:14

agreement with the the ex like let's listen with this this and you'll get this

1:11:18

and i'll get this fine

1:11:19

then the lawyers jump in he's trying to you and this no they're trying to you

1:11:23

over you deserve more

1:11:23

that's exactly the plot of the movie marriage wc marriage oh it's terrific i

1:11:29

was again it at the

1:11:31

beginning because it was about an actress and a theater director and i was like

1:11:37

jesus christ can't

1:11:38

you at least pretend that there are people in america not outside of your exact

1:11:43

circle there

1:11:44

been so many big movies you know that are just about your world of show

1:11:49

business have a little

1:11:50

creativity make them something else but okay i got over that and then it's just

1:11:54

a terrific movie

1:11:55

about there's no bells and whistles it's just we're married we seem very happy

1:12:01

and then well we're not

1:12:03

happy and we're gonna get divorced and then um we're gonna let's just do it amicably

1:12:09

and not getting

1:12:10

lawyers involved and then it all falls apart and once it goes down that path

1:12:14

that you're talking about

1:12:15

it just becomes as vicious as anything yeah without guns well i had a friend

1:12:21

who got divorced and no no

1:12:23

family okay no children didn't have children and uh it dragged on for more than

1:12:29

i think almost three

1:12:31

years and even though they had come to some kind of sort of conclusion he was

1:12:35

paying for his wife's

1:12:37

lawyer i go it's like you're paying for the general of the army that's trying

1:12:41

to kill you you're paying

1:12:42

for someone to you in the ass yeah you're getting in the ass it's broken it you

1:12:47

can feel it i have

1:12:48

seen so many men broken by devastated every time somebody says uh you know they

1:12:55

people unfortunately

1:12:56

get a horrible disease like cancer and they say i couldn't have gotten through

1:12:59

it without my wife

1:13:00

i always think yeah and maybe she gave it to you i don't mean of course

1:13:05

literally but i just mean

1:13:07

that when you're in a bad relationship the stress yeah uh we don't know what

1:13:13

contributes all the things

1:13:14

to cancer but uh that certainly is i'm sure one of them and then going through

1:13:20

a divorce like that i've

1:13:21

seen people like like you say just broken they get wrecked and it's a system

1:13:26

the reason why the divorce

1:13:27

laws are set up the way they're set up people think oh we're protecting women

1:13:31

horseshit they're doing it

1:13:33

so that they can extract the maximum amount of money out of the mail that way

1:13:38

the lawyer gets the biggest

1:13:39

chunk that they could possibly get most lawyers have a they're working on a

1:13:42

percentage basis right

1:13:44

especially if a woman doesn't have as much money or if she's you know the loyal

1:13:48

come to her look we've

1:13:49

got a deal here we'll we'll figure this out don't pay me now we're gonna make

1:13:53

sure we get get you the

1:13:54

most we'll we'll take care of it all in the end and this is what has happened

1:13:58

to several of my friends

1:13:59

that have been divorced and you know what it is once you see it what i get and

1:14:03

i understand and i accept

1:14:05

and i uh i support is child support i mean i've i grew up with a deadbeat dad

1:14:10

my dad never paid for

1:14:12

shit and i have many friends that have also experienced a lot of financial

1:14:16

hardship growing

1:14:17

up because their dad was a piece of shit and and didn't want to pay for their

1:14:20

children but people

1:14:22

very close to me including my wife but when there's a big difference between

1:14:28

that a man taking

1:14:29

responsibility for his children it's a big difference between that and alimony

1:14:34

alimony is creepy there's

1:14:35

something creepy about like my friend like i said didn't even have a child with

1:14:40

this woman he is still

1:14:42

paying her by the way this is the same guy very good friend of mine has been

1:14:46

divorced for 14 years has

1:14:49

been married for 12 to a new woman still paying the old woman and my joke was

1:14:55

like you her so hard she

1:14:57

can't work right like she literally can't work because he he's a wealthy man he

1:15:02

made good money

1:15:03

and he works really hard he's a he's not in the business he's a you know he has

1:15:07

a real job and he

1:15:08

works you know long hours every day and he has his own business and he has to

1:15:14

pay hundreds of thousands

1:15:15

of dollars to someone he doesn't even talk to anymore guys because he used to

1:15:18

fuck her guys

1:15:19

couldn't i i i knew of a guy who's a doctor who went to jail every night

1:15:26

because he couldn't make

1:15:28

the payments oh god and they would like let him out on weekends to do rounds

1:15:32

and stuff but he was

1:15:33

it's i got a better one for you want to get him crazy yeah dave foley who's on

1:15:39

news radio when he was

1:15:42

uh getting divorced was when he was on news radio so it was a financial peak

1:15:47

you know he was the star

1:15:47

of the show he's making a lot of money right and so his oh yeah payment to that

1:15:53

were set up for that

1:15:54

sure so this is in canada right and he the judge tells him he tells the judge i

1:15:59

don't make that kind

1:16:01

of money anymore that was an extraordinary time in my life it's very hard to

1:16:04

make that kind of money

1:16:05

you know i'm an actor i just the doctors the judge rather says your ability to

1:16:10

pay has no relation to

1:16:12

your obligation to pay wow think of that just pause here for a moment what a

1:16:19

statement you're and where

1:16:21

else would we say that it's insane and we're talking about hundreds of

1:16:26

thousands of dollars hundreds of

1:16:29

thousands like as if he's supposed to conjure this up like his career is

1:16:33

supposed to magically resurrect

1:16:35

wrecked itself in some really financially is usually the man still who probably

1:16:41

has the more money and

1:16:42

is paying the woman yes it's very anachronistic to how we have come to think

1:16:47

about women as equal

1:16:49

and strong and able to do everything we can do but when it comes to this it's

1:16:54

like uh we got to take

1:16:56

care of them well they're suddenly they're yeah it's like they're very

1:16:59

dependent i think it's a scam

1:17:01

that's set up because the men in general are in control of the finances or make

1:17:05

more money and they

1:17:06

can extract more money from a lot of people turning it down yeah i mean that's

1:17:10

that's why the system i

1:17:11

think is set up the way it's set up it's it's dark man i mean the only time it's

1:17:16

happened the other

1:17:17

way that i know of is tom arnold tom sure yes it does it does happen the other

1:17:23

one he's one for the

1:17:24

males right we got one on the board there's like if the board was like here if

1:17:28

it was it would be

1:17:29

a billion scratches on one side and four lines and the one through it and then

1:17:35

next to it is like tom

1:17:36

arnold that's why i never a couple of the dudes never understood the concept of

1:17:41

marriage because

1:17:43

when people would say why don't you want to get married i'd say why would i

1:17:46

invite

1:17:48

the federal and state government into my love life it's very important

1:17:52

you have to have it otherwise it's not real if you don't get a signed piece of

1:17:59

paper what the

1:18:00

do you have just your feelings for that other not good enough how's she going

1:18:05

to tell her friends

1:18:06

she's got to tell her friends that he really cares you've been brainwashed but

1:18:09

he really cares

1:18:11

i think i'm serious i can see she's trained you to say the right answer well i

1:18:15

i think that's how

1:18:16

crazy i think that's a crazy backward way to look at it that without the piece

1:18:19

of paper it's not real

1:18:21

it's not real whatever you have with this someone emotionally uh that's what's

1:18:26

real the paper is

1:18:27

what's fake you shouldn't be worried about divorce because we're never getting

1:18:30

divorced i'm not worried

1:18:31

about you i don't know what the you're doing like why why you're getting so

1:18:34

upset about this bill

1:18:35

just sign the paper and get married we're going to be together forever i don't

1:18:39

know what you're worried

1:18:40

about jesus christ you're freaking out about don't you love me you're freaking

1:18:44

out about a divorce

1:18:45

we're not getting divorced we love each other god sign it sign it and then when

1:18:51

you sign it the

1:18:52

darkness clouds roll over but also like humans change it's like we it's so

1:18:58

funny when you're you

1:19:00

could say about anything else well i'm not married to it you know do you want

1:19:03

that thing there i'm not

1:19:04

married to it but with a human the thing that's most malleable we're like uh

1:19:09

yep i'm gonna marry

1:19:10

well but you know but for some people it works fantastically i think in some

1:19:13

countries they actually

1:19:15

have term limits they actually have marriage terms i don't think that's a real

1:19:19

thing i think it is

1:19:20

really yeah google it some countries have like a term we did this before right

1:19:25

yeah it's real some

1:19:26

countries have like you could get married for like seven years oh i see and

1:19:30

then you have like a seven

1:19:31

year yeah and you could decide at the end of it you're like look i think we're

1:19:34

good let's get out

1:19:35

of here right yeah well but that's putting a level of logic into it that's

1:19:40

probably not going to really

1:19:41

obtain when the moment comes because by that time you're so codependent girls

1:19:46

are not going to tolerate

1:19:47

that they're gonna let me let me ask you this how long you've been with phil

1:19:50

you've been with and

1:19:51

he wants a term limit right my god you guys are going to be together forever

1:19:54

what are you doing to the

1:19:56

fucking term limit because if you stuck with dave i bet dave wouldn't ask right

1:19:59

dave's not like that

1:20:00

like dave might be a little boring maybe he's not as funny but he's a solid guy

1:20:04

and you would have

1:20:05

signed the contract you'd be fine girl it's like when agents are competing to

1:20:12

sign you and they're

1:20:13

like you didn't read for that oh i could have as soon as there's a financial

1:20:16

incentive with anything

1:20:18

things get squirrely that's what i'm saying yeah but it also you know i

1:20:23

remember you it's funny you

1:20:24

mentioned tom arnold i had him on the very first episode of politically

1:20:29

incorrect i think with rosanne

1:20:32

and they were talking about marriage and he said the great thing about marriage

1:20:35

is uh when you have a

1:20:37

big fight and somebody says i'm leaving you can go you can't we're married and

1:20:42

i got what he was saying

1:20:45

some people like that that you have this yeah this self-imposed barrier that

1:20:51

makes it more difficult

1:20:52

it's like a waiting period with guns you know or when they make you look at the

1:20:57

sonogram when you

1:20:57

want an abortion in some states look at your fucking baby on the computer

1:21:02

screen there and tell them

1:21:04

come back tomorrow and tell me you want to kill that kid you know you have a

1:21:07

waiting period you have

1:21:08

to cool off you can't just leave whereas if you're not married you can right

1:21:12

unless you live together

1:21:13

that's more complicated or kids are more complicated but yeah and uh the other

1:21:18

one we got on the board

1:21:19

is kevin federlein we got him too what do you mean on the oh oh right right

1:21:23

britney's he's britney's

1:21:25

baby daddy yeah he's uh he's getting yes that's right right right now

1:21:30

absolutely absolutely absolutely

1:21:32

he's good yeah plus he got the britney spears which is a double fist pump is

1:21:37

that a good thing oh yeah

1:21:38

you know he hasn't said one thing the whole time we've been here for 16 hours

1:21:44

she has not said one

1:21:45

word and that was the one thing that made a sound come out of jamie she's got

1:21:50

two things in the men

1:21:51

men enjoy she's hot and she's crazy she's probably fantastic in bed is britney

1:21:55

but still hot there was a

1:21:58

photo of her recently on instagram she still looks hot as i thought yeah she

1:22:02

was in a bikini i think

1:22:03

she fell apart okay she might be i've never seen her in real life you don't

1:22:06

know until you see him

1:22:07

right right i mean i i didn't yeah i guess i haven't that's her right now i

1:22:13

haven't that's her right

1:22:14

now yep well that's a lot right now no makeup no filter that's a lot of look at

1:22:20

that picture right

1:22:21

there that's a lot oh that one looks crazy well she got some crazy videos i do

1:22:25

not find oh she's

1:22:26

crazy as man but that that one right there that we're saying is so great upper

1:22:30

left no no the right

1:22:31

one in the middle i do not oh listen if it's two o'clock in the morning and you're

1:22:36

both drunk that's

1:22:37

what you want well i'm never drunk anymore and now i go to bed at midnight

1:22:40

which is a quite

1:22:42

she's talking to your door bill wake up it's britney i'm here to fuck and my

1:22:47

dad's here with

1:22:47

me because he has to be wherever i go i see that controversy yes well she's

1:22:53

like 36 years old now

1:22:54

too do you think she still has to do that well she does that there's a whole

1:22:57

free britney movement

1:22:59

from people who have nothing better to do with their time and there's no more

1:23:02

issues of all the

1:23:03

issues in the country that you could adopt as something to take to care about

1:23:08

but people are saying

1:23:09

because yes she still is under that um order that her father has to run her

1:23:14

life because remember

1:23:15

when she went yeah she went crazy yeah yeah i think she's probably always crazy

1:23:19

she just expressed

1:23:20

it in a way that made people concerned and also i think she's a sweet southern

1:23:24

girl who

1:23:24

show business will make you crazy for sure i mean they said the paparazzi

1:23:29

chased her like

1:23:30

they chased lady diana she couldn't leave her house yeah um and yeah that level

1:23:35

of fame

1:23:36

is almost unmanageable for anybody it is what we saw elvis go through or michael

1:23:40

jackson go through

1:23:40

or any any like right do they get you get to that super pop star level like yep

1:23:45

no one can handle it

1:23:46

no one and it's it yes there is a point where it's fame i think we know is

1:23:52

terrific mostly unless it

1:23:55

gets to that point right i mean when it's the people trying to help you when

1:24:01

your other people are just

1:24:03

looking at like you know sales people and people at airline counters and people

1:24:08

who just look at you

1:24:09

like what the fuck do you want oh i don't know just for you to do your job but

1:24:14

if they recognize you

1:24:15

then suddenly you get a smile i always say being famous is like living in a

1:24:19

small southern town

1:24:21

you know in the 50s hello how you doing it's so good to see you you know they're

1:24:26

just people are just

1:24:26

friendly in a way that they aren't anymore in big cities well you know where

1:24:30

they're still friendly

1:24:31

like that dallas texas oh yes the south texas is crazy it's like all the south

1:24:37

is still a friendlier

1:24:39

place i love playing the south yeah i'm always in the south i never considered

1:24:43

texas the south

1:24:44

it's kind of its own thing it's sort of the south it is the west as much as it

1:24:48

is the south it's

1:24:48

everything it's a world because we're the south what we're the south if you

1:24:52

look at the south of

1:24:53

the country well with southern california we're the west but we're also the

1:24:57

south texas is a weird

1:24:58

thing but we know what we mean when we talk about the south we're talking about

1:25:02

old dixie yes and uh

1:25:04

but texas is so big austin to me is not texan enough they might as well be in

1:25:12

new york

1:25:13

you know it's more like san francisco like a slice of san francisco it's still

1:25:17

liberal yeah

1:25:18

yes i do i i want the you want a real barbecue yes i like well that barbecue

1:25:23

but i like that

1:25:24

texas flavor houston i love i always had a better one back when i used to go

1:25:28

out after a show always

1:25:31

had a better time in the south than the north much rather party in houston than

1:25:36

i don't know boston

1:25:37

which is a beautiful city and i love it and i love performing there but i never

1:25:42

found the party

1:25:44

but you can't miss it in houston yeah you know they're a little more jovial

1:25:49

yeah jovial it's

1:25:50

interesting how we think of the south too like arizona's not the south but it's

1:25:53

for sure the

1:25:54

south i mean it's bordering mexico yes well arizona yeah i mean they're they're

1:25:59

they're bringing up the

1:26:01

rear a little bit that's a strange spot uh certain civilization wise yeah you

1:26:06

know they're there's some

1:26:08

very conservative i mean it's the conservative bastion i mean this is barry

1:26:12

goldwater country

1:26:13

and yeah arizona's sheriff joe arpaio that guy yeah you know i mean there's

1:26:18

some real real cavemen

1:26:21

yeah in arizona but i love what's an open carry state yeah but look when you

1:26:25

stick to cities which we

1:26:27

do you know we're not playing theaters in the sticks it doesn't matter what

1:26:32

state you're in you're always

1:26:34

going to be and get a liberal audience look at the election map every year

1:26:38

there's a lot of red

1:26:40

but any place there's a city it's a blue dot especially if they have a college

1:26:45

town i played

1:26:46

birmingham alabama it looks like any place else at least the crowd coming to my

1:26:52

show i once was i think

1:26:53

it was birmingham it was somewhere in alabama must have been either birmingham

1:26:57

or mobile and um

1:26:58

um there was a bass fishing contest or an award show tournament something going

1:27:10

on like at the same

1:27:12

time as my show or maybe my show was starting and it was letting out but there

1:27:17

was this i was driving

1:27:19

up to theaters long crowd of people coming to my show who looked like and

1:27:23

dressed like anywhere else

1:27:25

normal and then on the other side of the street going the other way a bunch of

1:27:30

people in flannel

1:27:31

shirts and trucker hats and it couldn't have been a more obvious example of two

1:27:36

americas yeah but

1:27:38

within the city of birmingham alabama but it's still a city and you know we see

1:27:45

that electorally the

1:27:48

divide trump does super well among people who never left the town they were

1:27:54

born in rural people people

1:27:56

out in the sticks um and it does terrible in the cities and now much more

1:28:02

increasingly in the

1:28:04

suburbs the suburbs are the swing vote the suburbs last time in 2016 there was

1:28:08

a lot of people in the

1:28:09

suburbs who don't follow politics that closely and they just said boy things

1:28:14

suck in america

1:28:15

let's let the dog drive for a while let's see what happens let's see what

1:28:20

happens and they didn't you

1:28:25

know they want to he's a businessman he must know how to run the economy and

1:28:28

all this stuff we'll try

1:28:29

something new those people i think first of all a lot of them have peeled away

1:28:34

already those are the

1:28:35

gettable voters those are the people if the democrats want to win i think that

1:28:39

they have to target and they

1:28:41

already have but that's why it's so risky to run someone far left i think if

1:28:46

you run amy klobuchar

1:28:48

as much as people say oh she's you know dull and she's this and she's that and

1:28:54

no one's excited

1:28:55

yeah but again binary at the end of the day when there's only two choices trump

1:28:59

or her i think

1:29:00

it's very hard for her to get the nomination i think as far as like winning the

1:29:05

election i think

1:29:06

she would do it fairly easily do you think that bernie's too left do you think

1:29:10

he's for a lot of

1:29:11

the country yes do you think that's real the media asked the wrong question the

1:29:15

media asks and that

1:29:16

there's a debate tonight the media asks the wrong question which is what would

1:29:20

you do this is a

1:29:22

question that only makes sense if you're running for king the question should

1:29:26

not be what would you

1:29:27

do the question is what can you get through what can you propose that mitch mcconnell

1:29:33

will not either

1:29:34

block or you can override with votes because that's a very different discussion

1:29:39

what bernie sanders wants

1:29:41

to do we shouldn't even be talking about because it's not going to happen the

1:29:45

free education paying

1:29:47

back student loan debt better care for all care for all you know all these all

1:29:52

as long as the unless the

1:29:55

republicans self-deport even if the democrat wins the election there's still

1:30:01

going to be half the

1:30:03

country that's republican and half the congress is going to be republican and

1:30:07

there's just a lot of

1:30:09

democrats are not for this stuff you know when the democrats took over the

1:30:13

house in 2018 it was

1:30:15

moderate democrats who won their elections it wasn't the the far left so so you

1:30:21

get four years of spinning

1:30:23

your wheel in the mud you get hoping to get some traction yeah if he gets in

1:30:29

again it's what can

1:30:30

get through congress what can you get a consensus on what what can you make

1:30:35

possible obama when he did

1:30:37

health care said yes if we were starting from scratch it would make sense to go

1:30:42

for a single

1:30:42

payer system but we're not starting from scratch we're starting from a system

1:30:46

where most people already

1:30:47

have health insurance through their employer it's a crazy story how that

1:30:52

happened it was world war ii

1:30:54

and they couldn't raise wages because that was the law so they had to find a

1:30:57

way to give employers

1:30:59

something else so they gave them health insurance but that's what we have now

1:31:02

and a lot of people like

1:31:04

it or say they like it i don't think a lot of people like arguing with their

1:31:08

insurance company

1:31:09

but they're afraid of something worse and i don't blame them you know if you're

1:31:13

going to tell me the

1:31:14

government and i'm a democrat but if you're going to tell me the government is

1:31:18

going to smoothly handle

1:31:19

taking over something that large i am going to be a little skeptical we should

1:31:24

be they don't smoothly

1:31:24

handle anything there's no evidence they smoothly handle anything rather than

1:31:28

maybe delivering the news

1:31:29

well or delivering uh the mail look again as an old school progressive when you

1:31:33

go down the list of

1:31:34

things that the progressives have accomplished especially in my lifetime i

1:31:39

cheer them all social

1:31:40

security well that wasn't my lifetime but they improved it in my lifetime medicare

1:31:45

medicaid these

1:31:46

are great programs i mean before social security the senior poverty rate was

1:31:51

like in the 28 or something

1:31:54

and then it went down below 10. it was a success but when you look at what the

1:31:59

government really what

1:32:00

their big successes have amounted to it's passing out money that very often

1:32:04

they don't have that's what

1:32:07

they're really good at running a giant healthcare system especially when the

1:32:13

politicians who are

1:32:14

proposing these systems will not a talk enough about we got to cap the gouging

1:32:20

you can't pass out all

1:32:22

this money with if you're if you're going to allow people hospitals

1:32:26

pharmaceutical companies to charge

1:32:28

charge anything they want when the price of an epi pen can go up from 12 to

1:32:32

1200 overnight that just can't

1:32:35

happen and also they don't ask the people to lift a finger to take care of

1:32:41

their own health nobody's

1:32:43

healthcare system is going to work unless you involve people have some sink

1:32:49

skin in the game you can't

1:32:51

like not tell the people look you can't keep eating as much as you want and as

1:32:57

shitty a food as you want

1:32:58

and expect us to cover the bill you just can't that is not something that

1:33:03

anybody wants to hear though

1:33:04

oh i know because i did that editorial and i know i remember that people got

1:33:09

upset well people here's the

1:33:11

story people did not people loved it until james corden said something oh that's

1:33:17

right he had that whole

1:33:17

first of all he did that and in doing that made fat jokes which was which i did

1:33:24

not by the way yeah mine

1:33:25

mine were talking about obesity cheap on morbid people morbidly obese ever

1:33:30

first of all he missed

1:33:32

a great opportunity to literally save lives if he had taken the opposite

1:33:37

approach he took the easy way

1:33:39

out of course you can always get applause for saying oh let's let's boo the

1:33:45

mean man who told the truth

1:33:47

that's not brave um first of all my point was a that you can't solve health

1:33:54

care unless you ask the

1:33:55

people to participate in that that was one and also that we've gone to this

1:34:01

place where we're proud of it

1:34:04

we're proud of being unhealthy weight watchers had to take the name weight and

1:34:09

watchers out of their title

1:34:10

it's ww now it it's like we what it's see being fat isn't bad what's bad is

1:34:19

someone pointing out that

1:34:20

fat is bad but i mean i read the statistic in that editorial 40 000 people a

1:34:27

month a month die from

1:34:31

obesity that's a crazy number that is a crazy number we have to somehow reverse

1:34:38

this idea that we have

1:34:39

in this country not just about obesity but about a lot of things where i'm

1:34:43

perfect the way i am

1:34:44

i am just perfect the way i am and if you say different you're a very bad

1:34:51

person

1:34:51

that's not a good place to be it's not healthy for anybody it's you're you're

1:34:58

protecting people's

1:34:58

emotions but shielding them from a possible right moment that might make them

1:35:04

realize that they are

1:35:05

eating themselves to death right i mean look i said it also in the piece beauty's

1:35:10

in the eye of the

1:35:11

beholder that's fine whatever you think is beautiful that's your deal but

1:35:16

health is science yeah that's

1:35:18

science and when we get apoplectic when there's 50 deaths from shootings or

1:35:25

something a month yeah it's

1:35:27

very bad and we should be serious about that problem but 50 versus 40 000 every

1:35:35

month and that's just

1:35:36

what they're counting from the big ones cancer diabetes and heart disease there's

1:35:42

literally nothing about

1:35:44

your health that is improved by being overweight so you know i said we shouldn't

1:35:49

taunt people but

1:35:51

you know compare it to anything else i also owned up to the fact that i used to

1:35:56

drink too much and i

1:35:57

smoked but i didn't defend it when someone said you know you went kind of hard

1:36:00

last night with the

1:36:01

drinking i didn't say how dare you drunk shame me well the weird thing you're

1:36:06

right i did weird thing

1:36:07

about cordon too is he's not that fat like he could fix that in a couple of

1:36:11

months that's not that hard

1:36:12

no he took it out it was a it was opportunistic and i'm saying yeah he could

1:36:17

have he literally lost an

1:36:19

opportunity to save lives because as someone who does struggle with weight he

1:36:24

could have taken the

1:36:25

opposite approach and said you know he bill makes a really good point and um we

1:36:31

should we should look at

1:36:33

how we are dealing with this i i noticed jillian michaels the fitness expert it's

1:36:38

took a lot of

1:36:39

for lizzo for lizzo yeah and you know if if you want to be whatever weight you

1:36:45

want to be that's fine

1:36:46

but it's wrong to shame a fitness expert for saying this isn't healthy well it

1:36:51

gets even she said it's

1:36:51

not going to be that amazing when she gets diabetes yeah and people went not

1:36:55

diabetes has nothing to do it

1:36:57

wait uh diabetes has for sure everything to do with it for sure also they they

1:37:02

they lie they say things

1:37:03

like well it's the fat gene it's there you know there's not it's not that or

1:37:07

here's another one and

1:37:09

look this is valid it's valid that in this country it is a lot harder to eat

1:37:14

right if you're poor yes

1:37:16

and we should totally address that yes doubt if it's on any candidates top 10

1:37:22

list but the way the food

1:37:24

situation and subsidies are done in this country is horrible but given that let's

1:37:30

not just throw up our

1:37:31

hands and say we're the can't do country and because it's harder let's not even

1:37:37

try yes it is harder

1:37:39

to eat right on a budget but i'll tell you something something you never need

1:37:44

to have with your food soda

1:37:46

which is a large part of it okay and you'll save money you don't have to have

1:37:51

soda you don't have

1:37:52

to have a snickers bar a banana is 19 cents so it's not impossible

1:37:57

adele got shit recently because she got yes because she got healthier that's

1:38:04

was also a part of my thing

1:38:06

was fit shaming not fat shaming people go eat something eat something i'm fine

1:38:13

what so you can feel

1:38:14

better about your weight problem i should eat and get fat too well when heavy

1:38:19

people have a fan or have

1:38:22

someone that they're a fan of that's also heavy like james corden like so he's

1:38:26

heavy he's got people in

1:38:27

the audience that love him and they love him standing up for other heavy people

1:38:31

yeah we're fine we're fine

1:38:33

he's one of us we're fine i think they felt like that with adele adele was this

1:38:37

fantastic singer super

1:38:39

talented extremely popular and overweight like yeah it's fine it's fine i'm

1:38:45

like adele everyone's fine

1:38:47

it wasn't then she loses weight like you feel like she's betraying you because

1:38:50

one of the reasons why

1:38:51

i liked you is because you're fat now you're not fat anymore it wasn't that

1:38:55

long ago that we were

1:38:56

applauding people when they lost weight yeah i remember when remember when oprah

1:39:00

came out that time

1:39:03

was she was oh this was like in the 80s i think but she had lost a whole bunch

1:39:07

of well there's a

1:39:08

picture you it's a very famous picture i think she's she's like in jeans and

1:39:12

she's got a like

1:39:13

really thin waist and you know she was raising your hands in triumph and

1:39:17

everyone was applauding

1:39:18

i guess that's bad now because again you have to be perfect the way you are and

1:39:24

if you criticize

1:39:25

that then you're a bad person i my take on this is just that there's too many

1:39:29

voices that you hear

1:39:30

because of social media you hear so many nonsense voices and they stand out

1:39:33

just like everybody else's

1:39:35

voice there's so many people just screaming into the void because there's so

1:39:38

many social media accounts

1:39:39

there's so many people that are tweeting about things and facebooking about

1:39:42

things and and it gets

1:39:43

people confused is that this is like a rational perspective and again with

1:39:47

these echo chambers they're

1:39:49

all just hop on board and support james cordon or support you know adele needs

1:39:53

to fatten back up

1:39:54

and you'll get thousands of likes everybody will go crazy that's the key word

1:39:58

yeah that's is what i

1:39:59

didn't understand until about a year ago that so many people are saying things

1:40:04

on social media not

1:40:05

because they really believe it to get the likes yeah yeah that's really scary

1:40:11

it's weird we had a billboard

1:40:13

once when we were coming back on the air in january just like now about four or

1:40:17

five years ago and the

1:40:19

the tagline was he's not in it for the likes and it's my favorite piece of

1:40:24

promotion that anyone has

1:40:25

ever done for me that's great he's not in it for the likes yeah uh advertising

1:40:30

that as this is why you

1:40:31

watch this show yeah um but obviously that's not the way a lot of people feel

1:40:38

they are in it for the

1:40:40

likes and they will take a position that they don't believe in because they

1:40:45

know it'll get likes and

1:40:47

i've heard this from people i actually respect and i'm like wow you have an

1:40:51

addiction that is an

1:40:53

addiction addiction of likes addiction yeah there is absolutely that and they

1:40:57

calculate their posts

1:40:59

based on the kind of response they think it's going to get it's not like a free

1:41:03

expression it's not

1:41:03

like they're they're making a post saying how do i feel about this thing okay

1:41:07

this is they're writing it

1:41:09

down going how are people going to react to this how am i going to get people

1:41:12

to really think that

1:41:13

i'm awesome how am i going to get people to really think i'm progressive really

1:41:17

i'm an open-minded

1:41:18

person hmm the male feminist perspective right yeah i was just talking to jimmy

1:41:26

my friend jimmy

1:41:27

door about that about male feminists about that that's like a holy false

1:41:32

perspective and you never see

1:41:34

it in gay guys like there are no male feminist gay guys because they're not

1:41:38

trying to the women

1:41:40

so it's like it's not a position they would take right it's it's they'll they'll

1:41:45

support you they'll

1:41:45

be your friend right this whole idea i'm i'm an ally i mean like you're trying

1:41:49

to man it's so clear

1:41:51

it's such an obvious perspective right you know it's just such a weird sneaky

1:41:56

thing yeah

1:41:58

but that's a that's a it's a version of the same thing people are doing for

1:42:02

likes on social media

1:42:03

it's a calculated expression in order to get uh you know what what the kind of

1:42:08

response you're hoping

1:42:09

you know it's greasy right it's greasy not the word i would have thought of but

1:42:17

perfect

1:42:18

whenever i read male feminist posts i get angry i just get i just not that i

1:42:21

don't want equality for

1:42:23

women i just you're a greasy man i know what you're doing do you read your

1:42:27

twitter no me neither never

1:42:29

because exactly and and what i read about people very often who've killed

1:42:38

themselves

1:42:39

oh yeah after reading their responses that yeah this is a big thing how about

1:42:44

this guy losing his

1:42:44

fucking job for saying retard couldn't you just yeah yeah couldn't you just

1:42:48

stop well he got a job with

1:42:49

the saints did he oh so he's like like he was a great which is a better team

1:42:54

yeah but i mean everybody

1:42:55

i asked some people who i know like barry weiss who's like brilliant person and

1:43:01

she's like oh my it's

1:43:03

like so depressing my it's like don't read it oh yes that generation cannot

1:43:09

stop reading even when it's

1:43:11

going to kill them i don't understand that well it's it's very impulsive right

1:43:16

you see your name

1:43:17

and you see someone what they say oh barry you're brilliant oh thank you and

1:43:20

then you go a little

1:43:21

further and you've died oh jesus christ and then there's a bunch of them liking

1:43:27

that response and

1:43:28

then a bunch of people piling on and you got to realize this first of all they

1:43:31

don't even know you're

1:43:32

a real human a lot of people have never met anyone famous they have no they

1:43:37

they are looking at and

1:43:38

a lot of them are 15. like when i i always say that if i had a twitter account

1:43:41

when i was 15

1:43:42

i would have said horrible to famous people right just to get a rise right just

1:43:46

to get a react to see

1:43:47

if i can get them to react it's not even things that they necessarily mean they

1:43:51

don't know you but

1:43:52

unless they meet you they don't even really know you but that people take it to

1:43:56

heart so much that

1:43:57

they killed themselves you know what a few of these k-pop stars have killed

1:44:03

themselves really look that

1:44:05

out from from social media yes i think so i think that's the main reason and

1:44:10

and they're and these

1:44:11

are you know pop stars yeah i can't top of the world bobby sherman right you

1:44:16

know in 1968 reading

1:44:20

his fan mail and going ah this one hates me too if elvis had a twitter account

1:44:26

hey man who the

1:44:27

fuck you give a shit priscilla's 14. we like each other man yeah come on what

1:44:32

the i ain't a pervert

1:44:33

yeah well maybe he could have used social media back then that's it right that's

1:44:39

the balance like

1:44:39

you don't want jerry lee lewis marrying his cousin and drowning his wives and

1:44:43

you also don't want elvis

1:44:45

fucking 14 year olds maybe be better i yeah so maybe a little bit there's a

1:44:50

balance to be achieved

1:44:51

wonder what my life would have been like as a teenager with this stuff because

1:44:56

maybe it would have

1:44:57

made me kill myself but i was painfully shy couldn't really talk to a girl if i

1:45:03

had been able to text

1:45:05

them maybe i think i would say some clever shit i exactly i think i could have

1:45:11

done really well

1:45:13

with that i would have had a lot of dick pictures floating around 100 i would

1:45:20

have sent it to everybody

1:45:21

you're fucking dumb and young you have no you have no idea that's gonna last

1:45:26

forever i thought that was

1:45:27

a humble brag about his no no it's a regular dick but it was just any just any

1:45:32

old dick i'd send people

1:45:34

other people's dicks but i would just think that the whole idea because young

1:45:38

boys love dick pic they

1:45:39

draw it and they yeah they're crazy remember that scene in what was the movie

1:45:44

super bad that was one

1:45:44

of my favorite scenes in a movie ever where he's just drawing dicks in class

1:45:48

all day it's

1:45:49

hilarious because it's so true that's so true yeah look we got real lucky that

1:45:56

we are not held up to

1:45:57

the standards that kids are today because everything they do today that they

1:46:01

put online they're going to

1:46:02

put a lot of things online it's permanent forever i couldn't imagine something

1:46:06

that i said when i was

1:46:07

14 being permanent and that points me back to this thing about this football

1:46:12

player and things that

1:46:13

people write on twitter it's something louis ck said to me recently we're

1:46:17

talking about this he said

1:46:18

people look at stuff when it's written down like it's different but it's just

1:46:23

talk it's talk but it's

1:46:25

written like people say oh she's a fucking bitch i'm tired of her and then you

1:46:29

see her you're like oh

1:46:30

i'm sorry like but that's talk right but when you see it written it's like oh

1:46:35

my god did you see what

1:46:36

he put on twitter do you see what he wrote like you're talking to the whole

1:46:39

world now right and you

1:46:40

got to realize this is a different thing and then people get a screenshot of it

1:46:43

you can never take it

1:46:44

back you said it we're gonna keep it forever we're gonna archive it look he

1:46:48

said it he said she's a

1:46:50

fucking bitch and you can't there's no just talk anymore but we're wired for

1:46:55

just talk people are

1:46:57

wired for gossip and and nonsense talk especially when you're drinking but if

1:47:00

you're drinking then

1:47:02

you get on twitter oh you you could you could say the dumbest ever you could

1:47:07

tank your life and

1:47:08

people have yeah well justine sacco that famous yes that was one of the first

1:47:12

ones the one who

1:47:13

was yeah as soon as she got off the flight she was upside down right yeah she

1:47:17

gets on a i mean it's

1:47:18

almost comical except for her it's comical you know she gets on a plane and

1:47:22

tweets that she said

1:47:23

something is funny and then by the time the plane lands her life's over by the

1:47:27

way family guy

1:47:28

did a hysterical version of that where brian the dog goes into the theater he

1:47:33

tweets something going

1:47:34

into a theater and it's it's semi-racist but it's and then by the time he comes

1:47:39

out of the movie his

1:47:40

life is is destroyed by the twitter mob is literally a mob outside his house we're

1:47:45

not designed for

1:47:46

permanence like that to be able to just express yourself loosely it's like if

1:47:50

you're going to write

1:47:51

something in a book and publish that book and you're going to carefully

1:47:53

consider every word and then you

1:47:55

put that book out and you go okay we've gone over it we've edited it that's it's

1:47:58

a different thing

1:47:59

then fuck this guy so what do you think should go on with louis ck you

1:48:03

mentioned him um i know more

1:48:08

about it than most people because i've talked to louis about it but what

1:48:12

happened versus what's being

1:48:14

portrayed is what happened there were there's a lot of stuff that's just not

1:48:18

true like he he's never

1:48:19

blocking anybody's door and what's and what's unfair is that he cannot say it

1:48:26

he can if you engage and

1:48:29

defend yourself and correct the record then you make it worse yeah so you're in

1:48:34

this sort of purgatory

1:48:36

where if you hear things that are not true you also cannot say anything about

1:48:41

it yeah that's a that's

1:48:42

an unfair place to be and also like is everything a hanging offense my problem

1:48:49

with some of the me too

1:48:51

stuff and of course i think like every right thinking person it was a great

1:48:55

thing that happened

1:48:56

that men have been put on notice that you're playing with five fouls

1:49:01

and you just can't get away with a lot of the you use particular men in

1:49:07

positions of power in the office

1:49:08

place right i mean i think employers let's let's also extend it to the fracking

1:49:14

industry and mcdonald's

1:49:15

and every other place in america where probably it's very prevalent nobody ever

1:49:19

hears about it

1:49:20

but there is just no consistency charlie sheen who i'm not picking on i like

1:49:29

him but he got a super

1:49:31

bowl commercial last year well he did way worse things than louis ck way worse

1:49:39

you couldn't give louis

1:49:41

ck so people would like louis ck's in a super bowl commercial that is

1:49:46

ridiculous charlie sheen yeah charlie

1:49:48

sheen has no shame and i know but he held a knife to his did he didn't that

1:49:54

time in aspen wasn't that

1:49:57

he was with the third wife or something and i seem to remember but he's done he's

1:50:02

being sued for giving

1:50:04

people aids i mean there's just this litany of things that are way worse than

1:50:10

whacking off in

1:50:12

front of people which is not cool either of course it's so but louis did

1:50:16

apologize and own up to it and

1:50:18

i just think the there where is the consistency yeah well and also where is the

1:50:25

is it a is it a

1:50:26

is everything a life sentence louis is is a horrible person forever or is there

1:50:31

some point where we used

1:50:33

to go yes a person pays his debt to society in some way uh and then you know i

1:50:40

you know you're allowed

1:50:42

back i i feel i just feel bad for him i mean i feel like he did weird that he

1:50:49

shouldn't have done for

1:50:50

sure and i think he knows that i know he knows that but what is the proper uh

1:50:56

punishment

1:50:57

and is and who decides it well he's definitely working again so all the people

1:51:03

that are complaining

1:51:04

and and bitching about overseas no he's working here no he's doing a lot of

1:51:08

theaters he's doing he's

1:51:10

touring again right yeah yeah when you're selling his tickets to his fans yeah

1:51:15

sure but he certainly

1:51:17

can't do everything he wants to do right and he can't he can still tour but

1:51:20

even if he wants to do a

1:51:22

special boy who's gonna take him up on that right yeah you know who's gonna

1:51:26

jump jump the line and

1:51:28

maybe maybe the proper punishment is another five years before you can have a

1:51:32

special but oh that's

1:51:33

a long time well i'm just saying i'm just pulling it out of my ass i'm just

1:51:36

saying yeah what we need

1:51:39

some sort of it's been more than two years some sort of me too court yeah that

1:51:43

will hand down a fair

1:51:45

and just a justified judge rose mcgowan presiding yeah yeah how would you how

1:51:51

do you decide when

1:51:53

you know a person has been punished enough and what and what is the crime yeah

1:51:57

but he's he's got

1:51:58

some hilarious bits about it he goes so the problem was uh i like jerking off

1:52:01

and i don't like being

1:52:02

alone right and i wanted to the rest of the material he does about it but you

1:52:10

know he asked he asked

1:52:11

can i jerk off in front of you when they said yes he did it it's not a good

1:52:15

thing nothing's good about

1:52:16

any of it but and he knows it no i'm not defending him but right people are

1:52:20

portraying it as far worse

1:52:22

than like he went up at skank fest in new york and people went crazy and cheered

1:52:27

and i reposted the

1:52:29

video of it and someone posted on twitter one of the rare times they look fuck

1:52:33

you joe rogan he

1:52:34

assaulted women yeah no like no he didn't no but he didn't you're gonna you can't

1:52:40

change what assault

1:52:41

means right he asked if he could jerk off in front of people and then he did

1:52:44

there's some question as

1:52:46

to whether or not he jerked off on the phone with somebody i don't think that's

1:52:48

assault either it's kind of

1:52:50

creepy not even kind of it's i'm sure he would say it's creepy but we're not

1:52:54

talking about someone

1:52:56

assaulted people like you you can't just change the definitions of the word

1:52:59

because it makes you feel

1:53:00

better about hating someone now i also read but i don't know if it's true if

1:53:05

his management i think

1:53:07

um threatened women who were going to talk about this or prevented someone's

1:53:13

career from moving because

1:53:15

of this if that happened that to me is almost worse yes that's really bad stuff

1:53:21

yes agree i don't know

1:53:23

if that's true and he's not allowed to talk to straighten that out well it's

1:53:27

not that he's not

1:53:29

allowed to talk well it would be he's considered talking about it a few times

1:53:33

and i think he just

1:53:34

he decides at the end of the day it's just better just keep pushing ahead right

1:53:37

and his new hour

1:53:39

apparently i'm not advertising for it but from everybody that i heard it's

1:53:44

amazing because all

1:53:45

the pain all the craziness he apparently has a talk about new material rock and

1:53:50

new hour right

1:53:51

talk about something to talk about do you have to get out of here because they

1:53:55

said you got two hours

1:53:57

i do because it's like a work night for me all right wrap this bad boy up tell

1:54:02

people when is it uh when's

1:54:03

the new season air uh friday this friday yeah the 17th of january um same bat

1:54:09

time same pet channel hbo

1:54:12

at uh 10 eastern and i guess you can figure out the other time zones from that

1:54:19

and uh we're gonna go back at it again plenty to talk about plenty to talk

1:54:25

about always see

1:54:26

congratulations by the way on making this such a big stop and such an iconic

1:54:32

place you did good

1:54:33

thank you thank you i don't know what the happened stumbled into it will you do

1:54:37

my show sure okay i

1:54:39

asked you before and you were very squirrelly so many people they're all

1:54:42

talking over each other for

1:54:44

soundbites you know i heard you say that once yeah when you were laughing at

1:54:47

some guy doing a terrible

1:54:48

impression of me and and it's a very kyle kalinsky he does a great impression

1:54:53

of you i i didn't know

1:54:55

who he was have you ever seen the face off the face swap version that he does

1:55:00

of you on instagram

1:55:02

no oh i don't know what find that before we leave what's that that's it kalinsky

1:55:06

sorry sorry kyle

1:55:07

no we don't we don't have to look at this i'm i'm leaving it's amazing i to you

1:55:11

it was amazing

1:55:12

it wasn't i don't i don't man but people have done me and i can laugh at it it's

1:55:17

not that it was

1:55:17

your face he's got your face and he's doing an impression of you you've never

1:55:21

seen this i saw

1:55:22

what anyway the point doesn't matter yeah it doesn't matter the point was what

1:55:27

was the point

1:55:28

uh point was there's not too many people talking over each other on your show

1:55:33

correct it feels like

1:55:34

it is to me it's very difficult to have a conversation when there's so many

1:55:36

different

1:55:37

people talking that's such a fundamental criticism of my show it's not your

1:55:42

show it's just that format

1:55:43

that's the size but that's that was i think you're thinking of politically

1:55:47

incorrect was that way

1:55:48

i'm thinking of your show right now well i'm there every week okay and i

1:55:53

monitor it pretty closely

1:55:55

of course when you have a panel which we do there can be those moments but we

1:56:00

don't book that kind of

1:56:02

person and that kind of show it's not the old let's get them fighting thing we

1:56:07

don't want that and

1:56:09

honestly the number of times when people have been shouting over each other and

1:56:12

you can't hear them

1:56:14

is very little it's not even that they're shouting over each other if you have

1:56:17

a point and you want

1:56:18

to talk about something you got to let it roll around your head yeah but you

1:56:23

would be the mid-show

1:56:24

guest to my left and it would be a one-on-one you know i do a one-on-one twice

1:56:30

in the show

1:56:33

have you seen the show yes okay in the middle of the show yeah i bring out more

1:56:37

of a celebrity

1:56:38

usually to my left and we talked the one where sam harris started going at it

1:56:42

with ben affleck

1:56:43

because of that sam was your one-on-one that's right okay well that's you know

1:56:49

you picked the one

1:56:49

example where somebody that's what you were talking about i think he's seen one

1:56:53

show i've seen several

1:56:55

i saw the one with milo i've seen jordan peterson i've seen many many shows

1:56:59

that we've done over

1:57:00

500 when hitchens it's good i'm glad we got glad we i only i don't demand that

1:57:05

anyone be a fan i just

1:57:06

like honesty one of my favorite now we're getting to the honest christopher

1:57:09

hitchens went after most

1:57:10

deaf well he's been dead for like 10 years so once again we're establishing

1:57:13

your knowledge of this show is very limited so i've watched a bunch of episodes

1:57:20

i hope you

1:57:20

you don't have to watch any i don't need you but i have i have lots of fans i

1:57:23

don't need one more

1:57:25

what i'm saying is i'd like you to do it because i think you'd be good and i

1:57:30

like listening to you

1:57:31

and you'd be to my left one-on-one there would be nobody shouting over you

1:57:37

because they wouldn't

1:57:37

be involved okay so you wouldn't have that problem so will you do it yes great

1:57:42

all right and then we'll

1:57:44

talk to me anyway and then we'll work on hawaii all right all right bill marley

1:57:48

thank you thank

1:57:48

you appreciate you being here man yeah real fun bye everybody