The Crazy Things Fans Have Done at Tom Segura's Shows

Do you know what I just had? It had happened at the show that, I don't know, I mean, this is so crazy that this happened at a show. I'm in Baltimore and doing a great venue there, like the Lyric, and it's probably 30 minutes into the show. And somebody says something, you know, and it's a theater, there's, I don't know, the 2,500 or some people at the show. So, but somebody says something on like a pause, right? So everybody hears it. Sometimes you navigate whether to deal with something or not, and the bigger the rooms get, you know, you ignore things. This person says it like, why is Bert fat or something? Because he eats too much, I don't fucking know, right? But my response made other people go, oh, this is when we can... Oh, no, I've had that happen. Right, so they start going, they start saying other things like podcast jokes or, you know, bikes and like shit from like other standup shows. And I'm like, okay. And then at one point, it happens, you know, like 10 people in a row. I go, do you guys, do you want to keep doing the show? Or do you want me to not do this? And they're all like, yeah, do the show. And when I say that, another guy jumps in from the balcony with another comment, you know, like, do you like Old Bay on your crab or, you know, something like that. And I go, I hope you die in a house fire or something like aggressive and rude. And people laugh. And I, you know, I just and then I turn back and I do I just continue with the show. But moments after that, you know, when you can you don't even hear something, you feel commotion, right? Like an energy. So I'm up there and I'm moving on. And I'm like, what is that? But I don't say it. I just because I just got through dealing with chaos. But I feel it and I look up there and I'm just like, whatever. And it kind of dies down after a moment. And I just keep doing the show. So I get off stage. I see Dave Oaken, who you met my tour manager who was at the party. And he's like, you're not gonna believe what happened. I go where he goes up in the balcony. I go, yeah, I sensed that something was going on there. He goes, a guy pulled his dick out and started pissing on people in the audience. And I'm like, what? What? He goes, yeah, but you know, we what we learn is that he was aiming for somebody, but sprayed a bunch of other people. And the reason we know this is that one of the people that got some collateral damage is a friend of another guy I work with on the tour here. So he's like, yeah, my friend was sitting in that section. And he goes, I see this guy pulls his dick out, right? And what we learn is the member of the guy that said the thing and I'm like, I hope you die in a house fire. Yeah, the guy behind him was like, you don't fuck with Tom show. He's on my side. He's like, I got Tom's back and starts to piss on him. And it ends up pissing on a bunch of people. And I go, wait, what did you do? He goes, well, we all were like, get this guy the fuck out of here. So then security comes over. That's the commotion was like people were like trying to get security. They thought that the guy who got pissed on was the culprit. So they go to grab him and he's like, I just got pissed on. Go get that guy. But it takes them a second to figure it out. And meanwhile, he gets out and as he gets up to the upper balcony, exit area, he runs and he sprints outside and they don't catch him. The pisser got free. The pisser got free. But he's on your side. He's on my team. Probably just had a really pee bad. It's like, you know what? I got a fucking idea. I'll get the heckler. Yeah, I'll just pee on the heckler because I have to pee anyway. Because if he's getting it everywhere, that's a heavy stream. That is a heavy stream. Yeah, he's just spraying. I was at one of the Boston venues and they told me after the show, they're like, sometimes they'll tell me, we had three injections or 12. It's like, they'll tell me that after the show. We had to eject the guy from the upper balcony. He just squatted forward and pissed on the floor. So he didn't want to get up. So they're like, everybody's like, what is this? And then everyone's like, it's this guy who's pissing in the seat. Jesus Christ, people are fucking animals. They're animals. Yeah. Oh my God, that's so crazy. One other venue, they said that a guy went, he left the aisle and then just went to the corner, like just pissed in the corner of the theater. And they're like, what are you doing? He just didn't. He's like, I don't want to go out and miss the show. So crazy.