Middle School Methanol Moment - JRE Toons

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5 years ago

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Greg Fitzsimmons

25 appearances

Greg Fitzsimmons is a comedian, actor, and writer. He hosts the “Fitzdog Radio” podcast and co-hosts “Sunday Papers” and “Childish.” His new special, “You Know Me,” premieres on YouTube on 8/27.https://gregfitzsimmons.com/ "You Know Me" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvUqkWh_x4U

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Transcript

Alcohol can cross the cell membrane and thus absorbs very easily into the human body. Oh, how about this? My friend, his wife is a school teacher in Utah and they have a problem in middle school because kids are taking tampons and they're soaking them and rubbing alcohol and stuffing them up their assholes and they're getting high. Really? Yes. Wow. One kid found out about it, a bunch of other kids did it and so they had a problem in their fucking school where kids were putting tampons, dipping them and rubbing alcohol and stuffing them up their butt. And by the way, I don't know how many millions of listeners you have. How many people are now going to do that? A lot. 40. 40? 40 people. 40? 40? I think about three weeks ago. I bet it feels good. Nice and cool. Define feels good. Tango a little bit. What if you got a hemorrhoid though? Yikes. Ah. Yeah. Okay. This is the definition of a drunk asshole. Don't be a drunk asshole. Especially when you're 12.