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Brian Moses is a comedian, writer, creator, producer and host of Roast Battle.
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2 years ago
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Chuck Norris movies are the shit. I loved all those movies. All the Bruce Lee movies of course. Jackie Chan came through, Bruce Lee obviously. But what he did was made shit where it was like, it was a little more believable that he was fucking these guys up. In my eyes, as a lifelong martial artist, in my eyes, I was like, this is all real. This could go down this way. The way he fucked these guys up. And also he looks like a mean bitch. He looks mean. When he was young and thin, Steven Seagal looked mean as fuck. And I believed it. When he was fucking guys up, it wasn't like Pierce Bronson, head kicking people. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that was fake. Yeah, I'm watching this guy, I'm like, this is a guy who knows how to fuck people up. I'm looking in his eyes. You look in Bruce Lee's eyes. You look in Chuck Norris's eyes. Those are people that really know how to fuck people up. You can see it in their eyes. And I can see it in his eyes. He knows how to fuck people up. I mean, it's... What about John Claude Van Damme? He knows how to fuck people up. John Claude Van Damme was a legit martial artist. Absolutely legit martial artist. So those four basically though? There's quite a few of them, man. Michael Jai White is absolutely legit. Michael Jai White broke the chain on the heavy bag at Legends Gym in Hollywood. He asked Eddie Bravo, or Eddie Bravo Brother asked him to demonstrate the way he does a sidekick. This dude does a sidekick, a hopping sidekick, slams it into the bag. The bag goes, katink, against the chain, and the chain snaps. That's real? 100% real. We were laughing, because me and Eddie were like, Dude, if this was a movie, and the guy came over, like the movie star is going to demonstrate that he really knows karate, and he does a kick and it breaks the bag, he'd be like, get the fuck out of here with this movie. That's what I'm saying. And we were laughing our asses off. But he really did it. Michael Jai White, he has perfect technique. Perfect. There's a bunch of demonstrations of him kicking online. Let me tell you something. The guy has perfect technique. There's guys that maybe their knee is down too much, or maybe when they throw a kick. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Perfect technique. Everything he does, 100% hip engagement. You know, like when you watch him hit the bag. Remember when he played Tyson? Dog, I was about to say, that was my favorite role he ever did. Pretty fucking good, man. Or Spawn. Remember when he played Spawn? He was amazing in Spawn. They should bring back Spawn. Oh, they're going to bring that thing back. They should bring him back in Spawn. But he has a bunch of videos of him demonstrating martial arts online. He even did like a thing with Kimbo. They were working on a movie together, and he was explaining something to Kimbo about telegraphing things. And Kimbo was, you could tell Kimbo was like, oh shit. It wasn't just like an actor was fucking around. It was like, oh, this guy is legit. I watched him, man. I'm telling you, I know legit martial arts. What about Wesley Snipes? Very legit. Wesley Snipes, very legit. Very legit stand up. Very legit stand up. 100% black belt level stand up. Let's go. Like you watch him fuck people up in Blade. That's 100% Wesley Snipes. Yeah, he went hard. No, he's good. But Michael Jai White had a bunch of fights. Michael Jai White had a bunch of, yeah, he had a bunch of Kyokushin fights. Michael Jai White is legit. And you watch him like move around. Is that him with Josh Barnett? Cowboy. I thought they were really going after him. They weren't really. Has he been on the podcast? No, he hasn't. I definitely have him on though. I did a thing with him like back in the day in like 1994. I was hosting. I was a guest host of later. Remember Bob Costas had later. And I got him out as on as a guest. Okay. I wanted to talk to him. 94. Oh, dude. It was back in the Dizzy. Might have been 95. Might have been even 96. But it was in the 90s. Like so it was like, I think he was right when he was doing the Tyson movie. And I was asking him like, what? You know, 96 Tyson was still young and terrifying. That was a risky time to play him in a blue. You know?