Mark Normand on Meeting Jerry Seinfeld | Joe Rogan

He made this dope car. Were you nervous about beating Big J? No. I've met him before. He's really nice. He's always been nice. I know, but he's like a comedy Massachusetts comedy god. You know, the Tonight Show, and then now this car god. So he's like two loves. He does have that, but man, he is so much more comfortable and like happy talking about cars. Yeah. When he was on the Tonight Show, he's basically like, you know, hey, here's this guy. You ready to hicks pit? Yeah, of course, of course. Joey Lawrence, hey, you got a girlfriend? Well, sort of. She doesn't know who to move. He pulls out a gun and blows his brains out. His brains form an NBC peacock. Yeah. Because he's a company man to the bitter end. And he's got an oozy in his mouth and he keeps changing clips. Yeah. The older guys like Leno and Simon, they're so much more Zen now. They don't have the Instagram and all that shit. They don't care. They don't podcast. They don't do any of this shit. They don't do stories and tweets. And they seem like I've hung out with Simon. I don't want to say we're buddies, but I've hung out with him a few times because of comedy. And he's like wise and he does TM, you know, and he doesn't drink and he's like centered. And he's got a family and he loves comedy and he's got his money. And it's just he's a good guy to look up to as a comedian and like a business person where you want to be. And as a man, where you want to be in life and how you want to be and what you want to be like. Like, did I, have you heard about how I met him? No. Oh, dude. I mean, he was my guy. Like, I was doing him when I started and it was embarrassing. Did you do a guy in the beginning? Yeah, I did Jenny. Okay. I caught myself on stage once going, oh. Yes. Dude, I did a. Sounds exactly like him. I did an open mic in New York. And in New York, they were ruthless. I went on. I was walking to the mic and some kid in the back went. And it fucking crushed me because he was mocking me, leveled me because he was right. And I have to ever since that day, I chewed him out on the mic, but I also changed my ways because it hit me right to the core. And so, you know, whatever I'm doing, I'm doing four sets of the night and I run over to Gotham and they go, hey, slow down, buddy. And you know, when you got four sets, you got to make those times or else it's like dominoes. You lose them all. And they go, hey, slow down. Seinfeld's on. I go, ah, damn. I mean, that's how J.D. We are as comics. The biggest comic on the planet is on. I'm like, ah, fuck. Right. I could sit down and watch him, but I'm like, I got to make my shows. So they go, don't worry. I think he's going short. So he gets off and I, and they go, you got to follow him. And I go, fuck. That's bathroom break for most people, you know. Seinfeld's done. We're not going to watch the next douche. So he's walking past me off stage. I'm walking on and I go, you still got it. And he goes, hey, I like your stuff. And he just said that like in passing. And I was like, oh my God. I figured he wouldn't even acknowledge me, you know. And I'm freaking out. So now I go and it's for Merrill Lynch or something. It was like a corporate kind of thing. So he had to be clean. So I go up and I'm beaming from the Seinfeld compliment that I just fucking level the room. It's coming out of me. It's oozing out of my eyeballs. And I killed. And turns out he was watching. So not only did I have to go after him, but I had to be clean. Thank God. I have like eight minutes on school shootings, pedophilia and midgets. So like I had to be clean and it went well. And I got off and so I was like, oh, that was fun. Let's go to the next day. And he goes, hey, he came out of the shadows. He goes, let's go hang out. So I go, oh my God. And it was like a hot lady. You know, when you have a good set, you got a little juice with her. I would never have anything to do with this lady without comedy. And we go in the green room. We talk for an hour and a half. I'm shitting myself for the first 10 minutes. He's my hero. I grew up watching with my family. I must see TV, NBC, Thursday nights. And the first 10 minutes I'm shitting because you know this guy's face. You know his voice and everything so well. I know everything he's done. I've read his biographies and shit. And then after 10 minutes, he's just a comic. He's just a Long Island car guy, baseball guy, comedy guy. And it was just super cool. And we talked and he goes, take my number. And I go, I'll never call. He goes, use it. Use it. And that was it. We just texted a little. And then as I was leaving, he did a bit that was new. And I go, hey, I got a tag for you on that cemetery bit. And he goes, whatever. Take it easy. Next day. What do you got on the cemetery bit? Now we're texting. And I had nothing. So now I had to go write a bit. You know, I had to write a bit in the time. You didn't really have anything? I had nothing. I was fucking with him. So now I'm writing a cemetery bit. I'm like, oh, I'm Googling cemeteries and shit. I don't know anything about cemeteries. So I came up with some headstone, pun, bullshit. I sent it to him and I could tell he was like, ah, that sucks. Blow me. I happened to say, I tried to save it. I wanted to keep it going. It's like talking to a supermodel. Right. And I was like, but you don't want to step on Carlin's cemetery bit. And he goes, wait, what's that? So I sent him that clip. And now we're going back and forth by Carlin. And then I go, I think he's better than Prior. And he goes, what, are you crazy? So now we're going on a Carlin Prior fight. And we just fucking had it. Two hours of texting. It was amazing. Wow. Why didn't you just call each other? You could have got that conversation done in 20 minutes. Waiting for a fucking text message while you're also watching TV. I know he's 65 too. He took forever to get the words out. Probably has to use the glasses. Yeah. But I didn't want it to end. I was happy it was long. So yeah. So now. Your besties. I wouldn't say that. Pretty close. I wouldn't even say pretty close. I'm closer to you than I am to him. It's one of them weird ones. Yeah. You don't want to bother. Yep. I get it. And then you don't want to come on too strong where he's like, this guy is up my ass. How many people must be bothering that guy all day long? Exactly.