Kevin Hart Tells HILARIOUS Patrice O'Neal Stories | Joe Rogan

You do it. You ping pong hate all for one another. Yeah. Unless it's funny. It can be funny hate. Sometimes it can be good hate. Funny hate. Funny hate is just between yourselves. Like Patrice? Patrice was one of the best. That funny hate. One of the best funny haters. Okay. You bring up a good point. Comedic hate is a different kind of hate. Is a different kind of hate. Yeah. Comedic hate. Right, because if you do Patrice, you rest in peace. One of the, not one of the, probably the best. Patrice used to do, I remember when I would talk and if I was saying something, you would just hear, ugh. What? What are you talking about? He's like, ugh. What? What are you talking about? He's like, just the way you talk bugs me. I was like, what? Your voice, everything about your voice just makes me want to punch you in the face. I was like, what are you talking about? He was like, ugh. When he would go after you too, it kind of made you feel good too. Like if you're a comic, especially if you're a comic, like I called Opie and Anthony once I was talking to them and Anthony, Anthony always has a gun on him. He carries a gun everywhere. Like he has a concealed carry permit and shit. And I said to him, I said, do you ever worry that maybe you're putting out this energy and you're manifesting something, like some sort of an attack on you because you're constantly dwelling on it and you always have this gun. And Patrice goes, Joe believe in magic. Joe believe he conjuring up the world. Hey man, I'm positive energy. He just starts laughing. See, he's magic. Joe's magic. Shit, mommy. And I'm like, when he would go after you, man, it was like you just want to step back and watch. I remember he got Bill Burr so married one time. Oh, Bill used to get so fucking mad. Beautiful thing about Bill Burr, but we'd be snapping Bill. Bill was the guy to get back. It's not funny. None of this funny. You're laughing. Where's the punch line in it? There's no punch line. He was just so fucking mad. We, the comedy seller, the days that we had their man, Bill Burr, Patrice O'Neill, Keith Robinson, Jim Norton, Colin Quinn, myself. When I say we would sit at this table, we would sit at this table for four to five hours and it would be nothing but beautiful trashins to one another. When I say they used to give me so much shit, that's probably why it's so hard to bother me now. The trashins that I took from the age 20 to 24 and my young comedic career about how awful I was. I had a joke way in the beginning of my career because of the times I mean, preface this. This was way in the beginning of my career. This was a joke that I had about little people, ninjas at the time. And it's, you know, it was so bad. It was I got robbed by a cross-eyed midget. And the joke was I didn't know he was robbing me because I was with somebody else. So he was looking at my friend, but he was robbing me. It was like a play on being cried. It was very, very awful joke. I remember telling this joke and a phone book comes flying on the stage. Patrice threw a fucking phone book at me. I'm talking this is the way at the Boston Comedy Club. There's people in a crowd. Tiny little place. All you heard was and you sit back and hits the floor. I say, yo, what the fuck was that? And Patrice said, read it. There's better material in it than what you're saying. Crows starts laughing. He's like, they used to trash me so bad. So bad, man. Patrice, I'm going to tell you a story. I caught Patrice jerking off in my house before. This is I moved to L.A. I'm standing in the two bedroom apartment. I just got there. Patrice coming out. I said, yo, you need to play sass. I got two bedrooms. You can come there. This is my ex-wife at the time. You know, I come home. It's like afternoon. I was like, Patrice, I'm like, yo, you home? Patrice. Patrice. I go in the back, open up the door. I had his big ass computer. All I see is his back hunched over. It's like baby oil right here. And I come in. I'm like, yo, what you doing? He's like, yo, get out. Get out. Get out. Are you jerking off in my house, man? He's so sick. He's so fucking sick that he didn't stop. He was so concerned with finishing that he didn't even break stride. He didn't turn around and not be nothing. Get out. Get out. You just saw his back hunched. He came out like seven minutes later. It was like my bad. I know he was coming home. Didn't even acknowledge. Fucking Patrice, man. I love him to death. Love him to death. Yeah. He had the most don't give a fuck of any kind like I ever met. 100%. 100%. Good and bad though. Yeah. There was a good to it and there was also some bad to... A lot of things that didn't have been for Patrice probably could have happened, but I think the level of not giving a fuck prevented some of those things. Well, he was almost too authentic. Yes. Did you ever see that? Was it Charlie Sheen's roast? Whose roast was it that he did? Where he just tortured everybody else that was on the roast with him. And then he got up there and afterwards he was like... You want the fuckers on my level? He talked shit about me. Why am I here? I shouldn't be here with you guys. Who the fuck is this bitch? Who is this bitch? Oh my God. Patrice has so many of those things. Yeah. So many of things. One of the best to do it. If you are listening, you're not educated on Patrice O'Neil. I ask that you just watch elephant in the room, one of his specials. Some of the funniest shit ever, man. And so insightful. He was so wise. Very smart. The way people thought and behaved, he would say shit. One of the things that he said that I tell people all the time, it's a brilliant thing that he said. I forget what controversy it was, but he was on television with some woman who was saying that you should never tell jokes about certain things. They were getting mad at someone. I think it was Opie and Anthony about a joke. And he said, you got to understand that all jokes come from the same place. The ones you like and the ones you don't like. The ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you mad. They all come from the same place. Someone's just trying to be funny. Sometimes they just don't work. I had a talk with the, I forgot her name. I forgot her name, but it was when I was doing all the promo for Upside and they kept trying to break down where the jokes come from. Kevin, these insensitive jokes that you told back then, why? What makes you, why would you even say those things? And the hardest thing for me to explain, I was like, do you think people think of jokes and while thinking of them, think that they're not going to be funny? Everything that you think of in a joke form, you're thinking of it because you think you're going to get a laugh behind it. The gamble is, if I get the laugh versus not get the laugh. If I don't get the laugh, the joke was not funny. If I get a laugh, then I guess I'm on to something. There isn't a bunch of thought that goes into the funny moments that we think may be great bits. I wish that I had a more logical answer to put behind it. I said, but I don't, especially at that time in my career. I just thought it would be funny. The same way that some people think certain jokes are funny, they're not funny. It's a thought. Comedians are constantly throwing shit out there. You're constantly rolling the dice and throwing shit out there. Have the shit you roll ain't good. It's not going to be good. The other half may be all right, may be kind of good, but it's all with the intent of entertaining. It's not with the intent of being malicious. It's not with the intent of sparking hatred. It's all trying to make you laugh. That's it. It's literally that simple from a thought within a comedian's mind. Nothing else. They kept trying to look for this hard definition of why. I said, I don't have it. I don't have the reason why. I thought it would be funny and it wasn't. That's the downfall.