Joey Diaz Tells Jail Stories | Joe Rogan

18th month nationwide investigation by the Guardian reveals for the first time what really happens at Journey's End Whoa, that sounds like a M night Shyamalan movie right? They kill a bunch of homeless people Like Satan's involved It's like they just move them away where they sit where they ship them Looks like this throwing them down in Miami and in LA Oh, huh. Well, I lived in Colorado in Colorado people would the homeless people would commit crimes They figured out what crimes they would get 60 days for and They would commit that crime Plead guilty do the 60 days just to get out of the winter. Hmm Because in those days Boulder would give you tobacco You Were loud they would give you tobacco. We got a roller that really that type of shit. Yeah Boulder County Jail in 1991 Boulder County Jail and some other jail will vote at number one and two jails in the country Wow that people would want to go to those jails then Boulder built the new jail and it became fucking communist land like Aspen communist land. Yeah, like no cigarettes. Everybody had a way uniform No more staying up till two in the morning when I was wrong with the other way Boulder County Jail the way what was good the good way Oh Boulder County Jail was a paradise. What was wrong with that? It got out it got out that it was too nice, right? So like I'm telling you homeless people would commit a crime to do 60 days. Can I ask you something guys? There's a person who's been in jail. Okay, would it motivate you more? This is an honest question Would it motivate you more if you were in jail and it was nice and comfortable in there and you got to relax and calm down Or would it motivate you more if they brought you into some communist type jail as you described it with everybody had wear uniforms There was no cigarettes. There was no fun. They limited your outside time Well, I did I did them both What would what I didn't think is a person who's been through what would be most effective in rehabilitating you? I Mean that's the idea right? I don't give a right now you said to me you you gotta stay in this fucking building For six months. This is gonna be a jail. There's like Pablo Escobar's jail It's still jail. I Want you to remember that right? You cannot leave the building for six months. I will let you out to the front of the cage one hour a day But you got to figure out what you're gonna do in here for 12 months. It's a cage. Yes I have more options here. I could lift weights. I could do different parts of my body. I could shoot pool Boulder was very simple Boulder you got locked up. They gave you the linens. You either took them or you didn't now only in my own clothes So you called home at lunchtime Joe Rogan brought me my jeans. My sneakers my t-shirts. I'm wearing my own clothes So now they determine what you were in for nonviolent or violent if you're a nonviolent offender You the world is yours the violent ones the ones that get lumped in the other violent ones. So now the violent offenders Depending on what you do as violent You go into one sector and that sector the longer you're in there the more rewards you get So if you're in green you step till 10 and they got cable TV If you are red you step to 11 and they got cable TV if you're purple you step to a one One a.m. Oh my god, Boulder County. Yeah, it was tremendous So I didn't drink milk Milk is big in jail because the bodybuilders like milk. It's like fucking drugs So I would trade you and you my milk for your Kool-Aid All right, so I was in there drinking fucking Kool-Aid Because I fucking hate milk Boulder was a paradise compared to other jails. I'll listen to this Thanksgiving day when I was I locked up Thanksgiving Day. Yeah, the guard came in and I'll never forget his name was Ron And he opened up the cell door and there was a phone there And he goes anybody who needs to use the phone use the phone. I figured out, you know those days you had to press mine They got an outside line. I Pressed eight to see if I get a long distance not that press seven nothing Six not then five not in four fucking long distance I got to call my peeps and Jersey for 20 minutes apiece You know you just figure out different things then they send you to a place where somebody looks you in the eye and says strip down and You got to go take a shower and then you come out and they put a finger up your ass To see if you got contraband Hmm, they give you a tidy white ease and orange Should they put like a rubber glove on and then loop their finger up? It doesn't matter does at that point I didn't give a fuck you putting a finger up my ass Is it it breaks you down as a man as much as anything in the world? That's the first breakdown Wow to turn you around to let you know they run you They're gonna stick it up your ass and you go to your cell and that those guys in there and are very nice They weren't like the Boulder County Jail guys. Those guys would kick your bed and make you get up Turn your light on the middle of night and say get out of bed. We're gonna do a search At two in the morning those people are not nice at all. Then I got transferred to Summer County Jail Which was a fucking paradise Paradise Paradise handball all day outside TV till two in the morning TV's in your cell Black and white TV's in your cell basic cable You could be up all night. You can eat if you wanted to go to breakfast you ate breakfast or not You could sleep through breakfast and we eat your breakfast for you and then from there They ship me off to the Department of Corrections That's where it's the nitty-gritty If you think black people talk at a movie theater at night Don't go there Don't go there Black people talk all night It's six or seven floors and I was in there in August with few full humidity Canyon City, Colorado Wow Alright with a little window, you know, and I was like on the third floor. I couldn't read And in those days they let you out you took two showers a week and one hour a day you went outside After that you were just in the cell by yourself And at night of froze in the daytime. It was like fucking beans sweating In a fucking tin can you were the tin can in the daytime Now we're finished no shit There's nothing two showers and then the three meals and Then that and then the first week is good because you actually get out of your cell to go test They test you everything Your math your English they fucking put a bunch of pictures in front of you. They put you to psychiatry They take your blood out. They do everything and then they assess you and then they have I Took care of all the dots Okay, there's a bunch of dots You have to you have to dot your eyes like if you have a high school diploma You get a point if you were working at the time of arrest you get a point If you were up to paying rent, so I got a bunch of points for that. It's so funny out