Joey Diaz on Immigration "Maybe America's Full!?" | Joe Rogan

just a reminder i want to give props to American Allies for returning my luggage after a whole weekend and they missed that fucking half ounce of wheat in my boxing glove so you're the delivery driver you were dumbfucked that was your tip they lost my muy thai bag I was going to Columbus to go to short muy thai and i brought my little fucking shin pads and my gloves in some hand wraps you've been doing a lot lately huh muy thai it's great right go twice a week. Well, I've had a- I'm 56, the targets, the thing, and I take the class, with everybody else, I do everything else, I die, then I go to one boxing. Because Tuesday and Wednesday, Tuesday and Thursday is boxing. Now when you do the class, do they have you spar? I'm 56, I like no headgear, none of that shit. Right, so you just tap into each other? Just me and you tapping, pop out, working on accommodations, shit like that. Saturdays, Sundays I go in, there's an open mat, if I'm home I go in, there's a chick that's like an ice cop. An ice cop? Oh no. You know, she's a tough chick. Yeah? Yeah, she trains with Brett and the whole thing, so I go down and just let her beat me up to death. Let me ask you this, as someone who was born in another country, how do you think that they should handle the immigrations that are here? Because this is the big question. A lot of people know people that are, I mean, probably a lot of people listening, know someone who they love that's illegal. Whether they're illegal from Canada, whether they're illegal from Europe, or they're illegal from Mexico, where the fuck? There's a lot of people that get over here and stay over here, that aren't supposed to be. Some of them turn out to be amazing people. So how do you decide? How do you decide who gets to stay? And does someone coming over here trying to make their life a better thing, but just doing it illegally? Does that automatically discount them from staying here? That seems crazy. What if they're great? There's a lot of people come over here because they were super unfortunate in where they were born. They grew up in a shitty place and they wanted to make it better, but they didn't know how to do it. So they came over to America by hook or by crook. They figured out how to get here. They got here and now they're kicking ass. Why would you want to get rid of them? As long as they're not criminals, as long as they're not hurting anybody, why would you want to get rid of them? Well, for starters, let's do this. What's going on right now just points to the finger at a certain realm of, you're pointing the finger south of the border. Yeah, it's Canadians, a lot of Canadians. And I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody. This is the United States of America. People come here to fucking have a dream. And whatever happens, bro, sometimes a dream goes kaput. When I went to New York, I spent three weeks in New York and I Ubered. And I did a little thing in my mind. I took 20 Ubers. In fact, I became Uber Platinum because I was doing all these rides. Not one white person picked me up. Not one time. Not one time. And guess what? I asked questions. I asked everybody questions. And the most inspiring person I met was one that I worked with. I wrapped that six-story in the morning. There was no way I was getting the van to go home. And I just called Uber. I was in Ridgewood, Brooklyn. And this Indian girl picked me up. Very cute. You know, six in the fucking morning. It's still kind of dark out, you know, 5.30, whatever it was. And this little girl that weighed 90 pounds picked me up. Got in the car, hello. We have charger in the back if you wanna charge your car. And there's little caramels in the front, you know. And I said, where are you from? And she told me India. And I go, how long have you been here? A year and a half. Spoke perfect English. Wow. I go, why did you become an Uber driver? She doesn't became an Uber driver because I was a waitress in an Indian restaurant and the guy abused me. And he would only pay me eight bucks an hour and take half my tips. So me and my cousins got together. We put away money and we rent a car. We leased a car. She drives in the daytime and I drive it at night. Wow. And I drive, I go, why aren't you scared to go out at night? She's like, no. She's like, I love it because there's no traffic at night. I go, what do you walk with? I just asked her creepy questions. Not, you know, I just asked her questions. I gave her an extra tip. Let me ask you this. Can you be illegal and do that? Are they checking your citizenship? I don't know what the status was with her. I didn't ask her. I didn't know she was a citizen. What do you think? Do you think that you could do that? Do you think like if you came from another country, you came from Guatemala illegally, you came over here though and became an Uber driver. Could you do that? Me? No, could anybody do that? Or do they check your citizenship? What do you think, Jamie? There's, yes, they can do that. So someone definitely can come over here and start working for Uber or another, or a similar company. I'm not saying they're doing that necessarily, like through the proper ways. You can, like if you have a legal friend, you can use their license to be the Uber thing. They don't know who's behind the car. So it happens all the time when I'm ordering food. You definitely have to have a valid driver's license, right? So can you get a valid driver's license if you're illegal? Well, that's the part, like I'm saying, so like, no, but that doesn't stop someone from getting behind a car if you don't have a license any day. That's sort of where I'm going. Well, at some point, you're getting in trouble right now. Aren't we on the shit list because we agreed in somebody else to give you legal licenses. Yeah, that's what I was asking. There was a thought that popped, a memory, popped into my head about some story like that, that they were gonna give illegal aliens the right to drive. I'm sort of saying like, it does happen, but not above the board, basically. Yeah, but are you sure? Do you see if they're trying to give illegal aliens driver's licenses? Because I remember a story like this too, as well. People were super upset about it. It's a weird thing, man. There's 13 states that allow it. There you go, baby. Where do you have to move? What are those states? In D.C. California's the first one. As of 2013, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, everywhere they're sweet. Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland, Nevada, New Mexico, New York. Interesting. Yeah, everywhere there's weed. Hawaii doesn't necessarily have weed. Utah, Vermont. I think Hawaii just has medical. I know, I'm just very close to that. From a business standpoint, they work for cheaper and work harder. I mean, there's so many benefits as a business owner. When was the last time you saw a white laborer? You see him. When you go in the kitchen at any restaurant, it's all, you know. So now you're questioning what rights you have as an American. You come here, you get a job, you're working hard, you stay out of trouble. You stay out of trouble, you mind your business. You and I grew up in the East Coast, where you go to a Chinese restaurant and you'd see the husband and wife working and the kids would be doing homework at the back table. And if you came in the daytime, it was a different couple. Which is telling me that two couples got together, they buy a home and they open a business together and they work together. That's what those immigrant groups do. And then from there they bring a cousin and they open, they open. And next thing you know, they got three houses on the block. And now you just had a fucking immigrant family moving to your neighborhood. Not necessarily good or bad. You know what I'm saying? They're nice. We all had them in our neighborhoods. And remember, 70 years ago, this was your grandparents. So you have to think about your grandparents. How would you want them treated? I'm sure your grandfather got a job laying brick way before he got his immigration papers. I don't know how they did it, right? I think they got it pretty quick. You get through Ellis Island and they push you through. I mean, the illegal situation. It was a different world back then. You could immigrate pretty easily. Like my grandparents weren't rocket scientists when they came over here. They were kids. Their parents weren't geniuses. Do you know what's going on? Farmers. Do you know what's going on in South America right now? Nicaragua, Honduras, all those places. Pure hell. Pure hell, you know? I can't be mad at you for wanting to get the fuck out of there. But there's other places on earth right now where there's pure fucking hell going on. Yeah. There's places around. And they're trying to come over too. Let's point everybody out. Let's lock all the fucking borders. Don't make it seem like it's just Mexico. That's the fucking problem. You know, we're getting bombarded from everywhere. We're getting new people in here every day from everywhere. I ain't mad at it. They're coming here to make better lives. But don't just keep pointing the fucking border there. You know who else is coming through that Mexican border? That nobody's talked about. Jamie, when you get a minute, if you'd love to check it just to verify me. You know how many Cubans are getting sent back to Cuba on a daily basis from Mexico? Really? Getting back to go shopping. But Cubans, when they come to America. They're not coming to Miami no more. They're not coming to, they've closed all that type of shit. So right now, You can't come through Miami anymore? It's easier to come go from Cuba to Mexico and just join the walk. And walk up. But once Cubans are in America, we give them asylum, right? Right, the tag. But then- Is that still going on? I think Obama removed it. Did he really? Yes. Trump made it so we can't go over there anymore. There you go. Africans, Cubans, pack Mexican shelters, hoping for a shot of asylum. People are going to Mexico now. That's crazy. So I think the number a couple weeks ago, I think 900 Cubans are getting sent back weekly to get shot. Does you think that more people are making towards the border, since Trump was like, build that wall, build that wall. Do you think more people are headed towards the border now? Because it's just like, it's a popular thing to do. It's a part of our culture. A part of the conversation is the border wall, right? Like, do you want a border wall or do you not want a border? Build that wall, make it a fucking million feet high, bring it right to the top of the earth. Or are you one of those people that thinks anybody should be able to come over here and have a better life? You know, and those two ideas are fucking clashing, left and right. Some people think that people should be able to try to do better, try to better themselves. They should have the opportunity. And then some people think, fuck them. You're born somewhere else. You don't ever get a chance to come over here. Go in through proper channels, which is almost impossible. Do something that's very valuable to us over here. See, that's the thing. If you're a person who has some extraordinary skill, you could probably get American citizenship easier. You're unusual. If you're contributing to the physics department at Harvard or something like that, and you're born in Germany or wherever, you probably could get citizenship a little bit quicker. And you're just a guy who lives in Guatemala and wants to come to America because he thinks he can advance his life. You think he can get better. Whereas where he lives, you can't go anywhere. You're stuck. The poverty is extreme. The crime is extreme. And he wants none of that. He wants to do better. So he makes it over here. I'm like. Listen, when you talk about immigration, you're gonna get good and bad from every country. Sure. You know, Castro in 79 opened up his prisons in the Marielle. And you got 100,000 Cubans and 100,000 fucking spoiled, rotten savages from Cuban prisons where they wear no clothes and they have to shit in a hole in the middle of the floor. They're savages. They're animals. They got no problem taking your life from a piece of toilet paper. But the same one's true from other countries. We get the good and the bad from other countries. Let's not beat around the bush. Before Russians come here, they got a course. They go to a school and take a 12-week course on how to come here and get money right off the bat. How to go to Social Security. Check that out, Jamie. That's a very weird one. They get taught how to come here and scam the system. Whether you want to call, scam. I'm not putting nobody down. I have tons of Russian friends. I love them. I'm not saying nothing bad. But I've heard that's a fact. I've heard them from them. I have a friend who's married and she told me one day that before they come here, they take a course to prep them on how to get money as soon as they land. Three days after they land, they get cash and dola. Paperwork, what to say, they coach you. That's hilarious. Is this like a service that they offer? Yeah, some type of class. Sign up for it if you want to scam the system. I don't know exactly how it works, but if you ask somebody to rush, they'll tell you how to do it. How many Armenians come over, come over, get citizenship? Guess what they do? They get Social Security and they move back to Armenia and they get the checks sent back to Armenia. They have a system on how to do that. They got a thousand loopholes now, brother. And if you learn those loopholes, you can cave the fucking system. There's nothing wrong with having a group of people that all agree on certain rules, right? Which is what the United States should be. But the problem with having a group of people is you don't get to pick who's in that group. So you're just deciding instead of being admitted by your merit or how good a neighbor you are or how nice of a person you are, now you just, whether or not you're born on the dirt. Like, were you born on this dirt or that dirt? Because you're born on that dirt, you can't stay. But if you're born on this dirt, even if you're a shit human being, you get to hang out. You get to ruin other people's lives while you're here. As long as you don't do enough that we need to put you in a cage. And then if we do, we keep you for a couple of years and let you out and you do more. I mean, this is, we have no problem with that. I don't know what the fuck, what the percentage is. What the fuck was I gonna tell you? I don't know, I lost my thought. What the percentage of good people versus bad people that come across the border. The thing is every time there's a bad one that comes across the border, it's highlighted as an example of why we gotta keep the border closed. And they have a point, they all have a point, absolutely. When you see someone who is talking about illegal gang members that are sneaking across the border and murdering people, it absolutely has happened. It's 100% of a real thing, it's not fiction. The question is how much does it happen? And how much better is it for those people's lives that make it across? Is there a way to screen better, to make sure that the bad people don't come in? All of these questions are legitimate. You don't want a bunch of fucking evil, vicious people from another country in your neighborhood. That's how everybody feels. You don't want your children, your family to be in danger because someone's knuck across the border and they have a long history of working for the cartel murdering people. That's a real thing, that's a real possibility. So all the people that are vigilant, all the people that are scared, they're probably smart to be scared. Look at fucking human history. People are capable of doing some awful shit. I don't think there should be no wall at all, nothing stopping people from coming across. You definitely don't want pieces of shit coming over here. But the problem is how you find out. Did you ever notice that maybe we're full? Yeah, we're probably exactly. Maybe we're full. Did you notice that when you go on this homeless people on Ventura fucking Boulevard, on Lancashire Boulevard, under bridges everywhere, has it ever come to your mind that anywhere you go there's cars everywhere and then between Uber and Lyft and cabs, now there's traffic in every major fucking city, there's deadlock or whatever. Did you ever notice that maybe it's not that I hate Cubans or Mexicans or Puerto Ricans or Blacks or Germans or Irish? Maybe that we're fucking full. Have you ever come to that conclusion? Yeah. That we're just full right now. Yeah. We have to take five years off. Like I would accept that. I would accept that. I would accept special circumstances, like why? Like you have family here or something. But at this point right now, we're fucking full, bro. Yeah, yeah. We're full. We don't have nowhere else to put anymore. We really don't. Look at these cities. Unless we pack them all to Iowa and send them all, you know, send them all into, where's the highest population of Mexicans in the country? I would probably say Southern California, right? Wrong. Indiana, Chicago. Indiana and Chicago? Yeah, they farm a ton of shit up in Chicago. Oh, that makes sense. Illinois. Wow. You know, where's the highest population of Puerto Ricans? The Bronx? You're wrong. Cleveland. Cleveland. Because in the 50s, they shipped, all the dealers were taking Puerto Ricans and putting them to the Cleveland, Ohio area to work in the fucking Ford plants and all those type of plants. And after all those places sat down, all those people sitting there holding onto their dick. When you go to certain parts of Ohio, there's a suburb outside of Cleveland. 12 fucking Puerto Rican. Wow. You know? Interesting. I don't think of it as, we hate Russians or Germans or anything. I look at it from a different perspective at times and maybe we're full. You know, for me to send my daughter to day camp costs three bills a week. I'm not complaining, it's a great day camp. They make potions, they learn about light bulbs and electricity. My point is I did the same thing for free when I was a kid. All I had to do was walk to my park. There's no funds left. There's nothing left for these kids. I don't know if, whenever I walk into a Dodger game or an event, I go, I always think of the family of four in America today that both parents have to work. And everybody has to work. If you go by my office for the podcast, in the middle is a 24 hour day care. And many times I'll leave my office at midnight and I see parents picking up their kids, carrying them out over their shoulders into that car. You know, it costs a lot to control the American family. There's not a lot of jobs. Why do you think you see everybody's driving Uber? If you take Uber, Uber's is interesting. I'm thinking of doing a documentary on just going Uber's and talking to these people and asking them why they're Ubering. Yes, they're having an engineer. Engineer lost his job, 58 years old. Got to work, Asian fellow. Very nice. I've tipped them extra. You offered me to plug the phone. I mean, you know, you have to look at that and go, wow, there's a lot of people in this country without work. There's a lot of fucking homeless people. We're running out of money to take care of what we got here.