Joe Rogan & Kelly Slater Freak Out About Crocodiles

North or something like 200 whatever it's like the closest saltwater croc. Yeah, like they keep a track like You know, they're pretty vigilant about how where they are what rivers they would be How they get a warn people don't swim here. Some people don't listen and they're stupid and they die But like a croc's not gonna just sort of give you an exploratory bite like a great white might and right you know They're gonna snatch you and they're you know, and they're not gonna get the surfboard in the way from the underbite You know, they're gonna there was a horrible story that I read it I think it was a National Geographic about this these two people that are kayaking in a river in Africa and this guy Why guy went with them? Did you this might be a different story? I don't know What story did you hear this one was like these two guys were gonna do a first descent down this thing and they were Contacting another guy who had done that River an American guy. Mm-hmm And the American guy was like I can't miss this descent. I got to do this I got to do that whole river and Then the three of them got into this zone where there was just crocs everywhere and the river was real slow and wide And as soon as they got there all the river all the crocs came off the riverbank and they were like, oh shit There's like tons of them and this guy's theory was to take his helmet and throw it off to the side So it would be like movement and distract them and they'd attack that and he paddled the shore And all three of them got together and the American guy was on the right side and the other two guys were together And they were so close they could like the guy in the middle like couldn't really paddle he was just kind of like, you know trying to move along with them and So they figured if the bigger we are the bigger we look and more intimidating like maybe we'll be okay 15 18 foot croc comes up grabs the guy takes him out of his pulls him out of his kayak disappears They never see him again. His backpack floats up and then his stuff's floating down downstream the other two guys get out of the water and I think I'm telling this story pretty good because I read it like five times Yeah online too and they got out of the water and then there's a little village just down and there's a little Bridge over and they had there were some boats and the boats were all dry docked and they went down and in broken English There was one person that could talk to him or whatever and they said, you know Our boats are not in the water because there's too many crocs here Like we know not to go in the water because they were like we need a boat We got to find his body. We got to try and save him, you know And then they went to this bridge and watch this stuff like float by that's the same story Yeah, it's and the guy wasn't supposed to be on the trip And it was about the guy the kayak flipping and then pulling his body out under the kayak. Yeah They're monsters, it's a there's a show called a charted they really are there's a show called uncharted by With you've seen that show. Yeah, my friend Jim Shockey is Florida. Yeah, that's a 15 foot fucking Alligator they found in Florida strolling across the golf course and the next day they found a giant snake a giant rattlesnake Strolling across a golf course. Look at the size of that thing. I fed I you know, I was friends with Steve Irwin So I used to go to look at the size of that thing. It's massive on a golf course. Here's the thing. I I think there's a misconstrued misconception about The crocs and they actually talked about this because I used to be friends with Steve Irwin before he passed away He talked he actually had me hand feed a 13 foot crocs. Okay, scary thing I've ever done in my life Terrified he I don't know. He told me you know, you got to feed a croc you're like Kelly you're ready, mate You gotta feed croc you gotta feed aggro. Oh, so for two nights so crazy for two nights. I had nightmares Look at what this guy doing. I told you I saw this few weeks ago. What's this guy doing? He's feeding them Why do you get the heads of these things? Look at their heads? I can't see man Good lord, and these are wild crocs. Yeah. Well, they look pretty like they know this guy's gonna feed him something They know something that bad ever man. Look at the heads on these things Let's see. This is like the conception we the concept we have about these animals, right? We just think that they're just killers and whatever you ever see the guy in Limon, Costa Rica who had a pet 15 foot croc Yeah, he raised that asshole This is crazy. It's a crazy animal, man Yeah, it's a crocs freak me out But I like I kind of mess when I'm playing when I'm playing golf I play a lot of golf when I'm in Florida. I always mess with the Gators like I'll grab by the tail Yeah, why? It's kind of I don't know. It's just like it's fun until you get your arm bit off. Yeah, I guess but This guy's not even worried. He doesn't even need to back step, you know, he's like well, those are smaller Yeah, but that thing's still gonna rip your arm off for sure rolls But that's so small in comparison to those other ones. I was fishing in Australia in this freshwater River, but it goes down to the ocean so salt waters for crocs come up it To a certain point there's like this dam and they don't go past that so, you know down here is up Here's all the freshwater down here is fresh and salt water and we saw a few 15 foot crocs this day and we're in a boat that was six feet wide and about 18 feet long 15 18 feet long and You know the guy Taken us he said, you know, we don't have problem in this boat But you know if you fell out of the boat, there's a fucking problem But he was telling us a story one day I was fishing with these guys It's one guy standing up in the boat fish and he falls out of it He and the guy was about 250 pounds or something like a big dude like to maybe 300 pounds He's like a big overweight guy and he fell in the boat and the guy said the guy was in the water for about two minutes And he was just like any second. This guy is dead He's like there's nothing I can do and he said it was all they could do to hit that to get him from the front Of the boat. He was trying to pull up come up the side and he couldn't and he was panicking So he's you know when people go into panic mode like when people are drowning and they're panicking they say you got to punch him in the Face and try to knock him out and calm down and they they couldn't punch this guy Like they were they were trying to get him to calm down And then to get him all the way to the back of the boat because they had to get him up to transom And they said from there they could get leverage and lift it wouldn't flip the boat or whatever But he said this guy was in the water for a couple minutes and and he's like at any time There's a croc that's big enough to eat you within sight of us here at all times But this guy said that he said that um the biggest you know I said what's the biggest one you ever seen because we've seen 15 foot crocs like every 20 minutes every half an hour We see a 15 foot. Yeah, no Giant freaking really? Yeah, and we're fishing. Oh my god. Um, we're fishing for a barramundi That's a crazy fish. Yeah, and um And so we're fishing for a barramundi and and I keep thinking like I don't know when you got one in line It's like a shark will bite that thing or whatever and anyways what we start asking the guy What's the biggest one you ever saw and he said might the biggest one ever saw was about 28 feet 20. Yeah 29 feet maybe and he said he's only seen it once and he saw it from about a kilometer away in the estimated the size And he said this guy these guys in a helicopter saw it once and it doesn't stay in the river It stays out in the ocean and he said it's so smart It knows it's in silty water where nothing can see it. There's nothing as big as it it owns its territory, you know Yeah, and he said that he said that the back we're in the six foot boat And he said if this thing he goes I tell you this how big they are He goes this one would be he said if it was under our boat It would be sticking out about four to six feet on either side across its back sideways and we're in a six foot wide boat So he said it'd be like 15 foot across the back its back like that's how what? So think of the girth something that big 15 feet across the back. Yeah, that's what this guy told me I don't know. We didn't see it. Oh my god I mean we're seeing you know 15 footers that are like it's girth close to that You know like a great white when you see a 15 foot great white its girth is 15 feet right much They're so fat Yeah Once they get like 10 feet then they start getting fat and their girth gets about the length them So if you see a 15 or 20 foot 18 foot great white and you measure their girth, it's pretty much their length How big do crocs get? I don't know this guy said I don't know this guy's claiming It's like must made the biggest croc in the world, but there was one They called Gus or something in Africa I used to late night just YouTube this stuff and they were saying this is one that had eaten like they think it's eaten over A hundred or two hundred people in these villages. Oh, and they think it's like 23 feet long or something Well, this Jim Chunky show that I was talking about uncharted They just have on him just look at that fucking thing the Savannah King Is that a perspective shot though? Look how far back those guys know you wonder you wonder Yeah, but people do that with pigs and they make them I do that with my choice when I when I catch a fish It says 28 feet 4 inches. So that makes sense like what's that? Look, that's a replica of how big it was fuck that thing Fuck that thing and everything that was alive before it that made dinosaurs Do you know like this go back to that picture Jamie that replica make that larger the replica and just make that larger Look at the size of that fucking thing. Oh Like what is the largest confirmed one because if that one is 28 feet 4 inches Thing about that when they said 28 feet 4 inches. That's like back when people were full of shit Yeah, I mean this guy who told me this Ozzy guy might have been trying to freak me out, too I mean because the back that thing's that thing's 20 feet and it's not 20 feet across its back or 12 feet, you know, yeah, but another 8 foot long is pretty Well, you see when you see like a 5 foot croc alligator and then you see a 10 foot the girth Relative to the length changes at that is it's like a what he's talking about the ratio and the size. Yeah one point Right. What does it say number one? What does it say number one candidate? This is a list of the top 10 So I think the largest Cambodia crocodile seven me now is this just the the species they're talking about This is just the five largest crocodiles ever recorded. Okay, Cambodia show the picture of the Cambodia one 23 feet That doesn't have a doesn't this is the one that had a picture. Why would you not take a picture of a 23 foot long crocodile? Trust me, bro She was big Yeah, I mean I would imagine that there's probably bigger ones out there I know there was a super killer croc that went extinct that far Dwarfed those those that were 60 feet or whatever giant enormous I had a extinct pull up that extinct giant crocodile I had a friend who was a commercial fisherman in South Africa and he's like he told me he's like brew the biggest sharks are Way bigger than you think he's like yeah, and I go I want to see a picture or something He said I'll tell you this I was on a 60 foot boat with ten guys fishing Almost he said like everybody in the boat saw the shark said it came up next to their boat They were 20 miles off of Port Elizabeth where there's a reef they fish and he's claiming the thing was more than half the length Of their 60 foot boat. Why yeah, he's like it was 35 feet. That's what he tells me. What is the biggest great white like 20? But he's saying there's it's been like jockers doke supposedly film one in Cape Verde that they didn't have anything They couldn't tell the size because they didn't have something next to it. He said it was close to 10 meters, which is 30 feet But this guy's this guy's telling me he goes no He goes I've seen the shark twice out there is what he told me, but I don't know they're out there every day That's the thing how many people are out there? Yeah, I don't know You know it's like people are the biggest ones the biggest ones are smart You know yeah, like I don't I rarely said big shark rarely I'll see like I've seen a couple of great whites in South Africa jump look at that thing That that is the replica of something that used to exist 12 animals. You're glad it looks get the Fucking skull this guy's basically standing inside the skull that's crocodile Fuck that man. Well. That's that that's the premise of that stupid movie the Meg Meg is megalodon. Yeah, I won't even watch it Just like oh come I don't know Do you remember that movie the deep blue is that what it's called there was a shark that they were true There were sharks they were training like they were like GMO sharks or something These genetically cloned sharks, and they were supposedly training them, and then they got too smart And they started eating everyone and then there's like you know the girls the hot girl in the bikini And she has to like take off her wetsuit because it's rubber I don't know there's you see these movies, and he's like the the artistic license on these things are so bizarre There's no truth to it. It's like You know what you know what dangerous water is not dangerous ice is dangerous To get out of here Yeah, good moving see that I mean I wouldn't I wouldn't see that coming at all I wouldn't go in the water for Seconds after that I saw that movie. You know I actually was with Samuel L. Jackson like three weeks ago in Paris No, we're playing golf together. What how big I wanted to ask him about that, but I didn't I didn't know the balls I Mean how big do you think they could be and people don't know I mean 30 feet sounds reasonable if they think they're 25 feet There could be one that's 30 feet maybe yeah I mean I think it's reasonable to go and but that's a lot more years and eating and like no one saw it during that time I mean It's kind of like UFOs. I got a C1. Yeah You've seen sharks, and we know they get big and we're not there's not how many people out there looking for them That's the thing but they don't want to say film one. They call big blue last year I think in Guadalupe Island I think it was and it was 21 or 22 feet yeah the videos online And it's you know a big day look right yeah this thing's face and nose looks small because it's body's so huge It must have been a pregnant female or something, but its body looks like even bigger around than the length And they said it was 20 yeah See like its face almost looks like small But see the girth the girth is so for world's largest shark seven meters, so that's 22 feet 23 feet What this guy touches it that guy comes out of the cage and touches it oh? Look at the size of this thing. That's another thing this the shark feeding freaks me out There's this guy touched it watch he just comes out and he's like I gotta touch this Got to get out of there bitch, but see like its face almost looks small compared to how right so massive Scary that is so big it looks like a whale It literally looks like a whale oh My god and to think that there's something out there That's ten feet bigger than that well killer whale could eat that thing's liver without thinking about it That's a half and it killer whales just a dolphin It's so weird to think that that thing has dominance over that thing it is, but there's just so much smarter Yeah, it's not even close. There's so much more agile so much smarter How what this is a seven-gill what do they call that Oh a green land shark? Yeah, they think isn't wasn't that one of the speculations of what the Loch Ness Monster was I think there was Some sort of a landlocked green or not land wouldn't have been in the lock now They think was in the lock because it was trapped because the locks used to be connected to I think that was a twig Could be that was a good driftwood man, or it could be like a sturgeon or some shit like that like there was one of one of those Was a Lake Champlain or one of those yeah the surgeons are huge. Yeah, but sturgeons are crazy. Yeah, that's a that's another dime an alligator Guard you seen those things. Oh, yeah, man. My friends went fishing for them. Yeah, they have them in, Texas Yeah, you can catch them in Texas those things are bizarre. I don't think you're noodling for those things That's another thing that's hundreds of millions of years old, right? Yeah, I mean that would be I'd love to go take my friends and just go noodling sometimes sounds kind of creepy your girlfriend be like what noodling Oh for catfish yeah, yeah, but but you get accidentally get turtle sometimes those snapping turtles and bite your arm off wouldn't it? That looks like we just break your arm in half probably fuck you up I mean, I'm sure dudes are probably lost fingers snapping those what's that yeah accidentally googled that and the snapping turtle incidents popped up Oh guys losing their hands Don't show me this because that's like two razors. They're like two razors that those yeah like garden shears. Yeah, yeah Taking your fucking arm off