Joe Rogan Freaks Out Over Monster Dog

I almost bought a doggo Argentino and the guy was like, right before I bought it, he was like, hey, you're gonna have this dog in bed with you? And I go, yeah, of course. He goes, I'm not selling it to you and hung up on me. Really? Yeah, because you got it. There's certain dogs where you have to become the master. Like doggo Argentinos are like bull mastiffs, but pit bulls on steroids. And the guy was like, yeah, man, once it gets in bed with you, you've lost the house. All right, good call, man. Thank you for stopping me. So it fucking tells you, no, I'm running this house, bitch. I sleep in this bed. Who the fuck are you? He's like, why can't he fucking my wife? I'm like, I didn't know we were gonna share. Imagine he starts growling at you while he's humping your wife's leg. You're like, oh no, what have I done? I let this giant beast get too comfortable in my house. Two hundred pound murderous dog wants to fuck your wife. Look at the build on that thing. That's the most beautiful dog I've ever seen in my life. It looks like it, the clown, if it was an evil dog, it does look like it does. Go back to that picture. It looks like go back to that. It looks like Pennywise. Jamie, that's the picture you just on. Don't go back to the one you were just on. It looks like that's one. That's Pennywise the clown, bro. Fuck. That's fucking Pennywise. I'm so glad I didn't get one now. It looks like Pennywise, doesn't it? Look at that fucking dog. Oh my God. That muscle and that thing are preposterous. When was the last time you got attacked by a dog? I've never been attacked by a dog. Oh Jesus. That looks like the rock if it was a dog. Look at the build on that thing. Look at that man. Jesus Christ. That's probably 130 pounds. That's a girl too. That's a female dog. Try to grab onto any part of that dog to stop it from killing you. Good luck. There's not one part of you. That looks like a demon, like a sweet faced demon that you got wandering around your yard looking to kill burglars. That's the dog I wanted. Woo. Look at that build on that fucker. Jesus Christ. Look at those dead eyes. That is a crazy dog to have around your house. Like you got to really be on top of things. Jesus. Look at that head with the collar. Look at that one in the middle. Oh my God. Look at that jaw. Look at the fucking head. God damn it. The fucking head on that bed. Oh my dick's almost hard. That dog's so pretty. Oh my God. Bro. That's a polar bear. That's like having a polar bear. How's that any different? How's that any different? Those and Connie Corso's are fucking ridiculous. That's the shit with dogs. If my wife leaves me, I'm moving to Malibu. I'm getting a Connie Corso and a dog of Argentino. Yeah. Oh, look at the fucking muscles in the chest of that thing. Come on, man. That's just too weird. I feel like if you have a dog like that also, it's like you have this obligation to work that motherfucker out. Every day. Every day. You have a super athlete. You just can't have that thing in your yard being bored. That's a different kind of dog. That's why he was like, you're not letting in bed with you. I was like, well, of course, yeah. Why? He was like, wrong guy. He'll start running shit, son. You got to keep those motherfuckers on a leash and train them well from the time they're really young or get one that's trained. But even then, when I've heard about Belgium Malumwaz in particular, you got to be the boss. That thing has to respect that you're the boss. Is that what Shob got? He did for a little bit. He did for a little bit. He went out of town and wouldn't listen to his wife at all. It was like, fuck you, bitch. And she's like, oh, no, I got this crazy dog in my house. It's not listening to me. Yeah. But if a dog thinks you're not the boss, then it becomes the boss. Like he decided Brendan was the boss. Like, look at this big motherfucker with the deep voice. You know, he's six foot five or whatever he is. Brendan's gigantic. And so he's around this dog. He's like, hey, bro. And the dog's like, okay, big guy. Okay, big guy with the food. I got to be cool with you. And the wife's around like, who the fuck are you? Who are you? I'm the big guy. I think I'm the big guy, motherfucker.