Joe Rogan and Tom Papa Impersonate New York City Rats

That's the rat with the pizza. I've seen that guy. Oh yeah, the pizza rat. He's famous. Rats are disgusting too. Yeah, they're pretty gross. Have you ever seen that Netflix documentary? On rats? Yeah. No. Oh. Oh no, really? Dude. Oh dude. Really? Yeah, you need to watch it. Because it's educational. It's not just gross, and it's really gross. But when you realize how many of them there really are in major cities, yeah, the biomass of them. Yeah. It's stunning. Really? The New York's all rat. It's just... It's rats. It's as many rats as more or somewhere in the neighborhood of as many rats as there are people. Really? And there's eight million people. And there's how many more? As much or more. Jeez. Yeah. I don't think they know. I mean, you see them nonstop walking around. Yeah, but they're just guessing. Yeah. Obviously, most of them are subterranean. Most of them are living in houses, and most of them, I mean, they burrow their way into tiny little holes. How long does a rat live? That's a good question. How long does a rat live? Because they're born... There's a lot of them, but do they stick around for like 20 years? Dude, the documentary showed how they send young rats to try out poison. Really? Yeah, the old rats sit back. Suicide rats? They send them out there because they don't know any better. They let them die. They're just assholes. Wow. Yeah. Here's a little tip. If they're ever doing construction in New York in front of a restaurant, you don't eat it. You don't eat on that street. Why? Because they're digging it up, whatever their little ecosystem is, and they're just... Oh, no. Yeah. So if they're digging up the street there, dine somewhere else. I would imagine in New York it must be so hard to keep them out of a restaurant. Oh, it's gotta be so hard. I guess maybe you leave some in the dumpster for them. Like, you give a little off-front to the monsters. Just a head. Yeah, like when they used to tie the girl onto the stakes for Kong. All right. So you'd leave everybody else alone. Not a little shish kebab stick. Leave them to the floor. It's like your last job when you're closing down the restaurant. You pull the gates out. You pull the rats. The rats are our friends. Put the skulls out. Well, what is interesting, what are those? Various sizes of them. They mostly go up to about two pounds. It says in New York City, he doesn't think there's any that are three because they'd be too big to be able to move around. Right. It's like a physiological limit to their size. Does it say how long they live? Average about two years, one to two years in the wild, up to four if you have it as a pet. Oh, wow. That's the same way they could more about hamsters like that. My wife had rats for pets when she was a kid. Was she goth? No. She was just a Jersey kid, just loved animals, and she would just ride her bike around and this rat would just be like on her shoulders. Oh, Jesus Christ. Weird rat lady. Weird. Yeah, it's weird. I get it if it's your pet. But she said they were super smart and super affectionate. Yeah. If you had it its whole life and you raise it right, yeah, why not? Yeah, it's not dirty. It's not like going through the sewers and eating poo and climbing on your hand. But it would if you just let it go. Maybe 100%. She like had it out with her. Go rat-like. If you just let it loose in the wild. How long would it take for a domesticated rat to adapt to living in like a New York City sewer? 40 seconds. What do you think they would do? They just get there. They would be like crazy fucking Disney movies. Hey, look at you from the suburbs. Yeah. What, have you been living in a house? Yeah, with like multi-colored rats. They have like all these cute little different colors on them. Oh, you're so clean with your pink hair. Oh, you got different colors. Look at you. Hey, Joe, get a load of this one. It's not even Greg. Hey, how come you ain't Greg? Look at you, you're white, you're brown, you're like a fucking dog over there. You think you're better than us, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, get over here. I guess you don't know how to get into the restaurant, do you? You're looking hungry. What, have you got money on you? You give us some money, we'll show you where you get all the good food. Yeah. You ever been to Little Italy? Wait till I show you. What a good roll of dice. It's a cool life. Getting born a rat. Being born a rat. Ugh. The worst. Terrible.