Inside the Mind of David Choe

I know you were, you're gonna say some crazy shit and you're going to torpedo your life. Now that you're a cult guru with strawberry blonde hair, it's more uh... Strawberry blonde! Well, it's a home job. It's beautiful. So it's more... My therapist would always say, lean into discomfort, what you don't like. And I hate gingers, so I said, why don't I just become one? I'm like... Your therapist says, lean into discomfort? Yeah, if there's something that... Like, I'm in a men's group also and they said... And I told them, I said, I'm gonna go back on the Jorogan experience after... 4, 5, 6 years. I don't know when the last time I was here. Probably 5, right? I don't know. It's been a while. And so, they go, lean into the discomfort. Start with what you least want to share. And I go, this is me trying to... They don't know you that well. That's fucking terrible advice for you. So I sit there, I'm driving over here... And I go, okay, start with what I least want to share. I pulled over on Van Nuys Boulevard and I puked. Really? Yeah, I puked. Wow! I'm uh... I have a... I don't get nervous. You know, I used to have my own podcast. I've talked to you a million times. And like, I just had like a visceral response and I was like... And I just pulled over on Van Night. And I think someone took a picture of me. So, you're out there. And I don't get nervous. Like these things, like I'm able to just almost disassociate. It's like, whatever. And just go into any situation. And I just felt, you know... And I was like, maybe it was the breakfast I had. I had a hard boiled egg. And chia pudding. That's what I had for breakfast. That's it? That's it. And I pull over and I was like, oh my god. I'm fucking nervous. I'm just gonna puke. It's puke. I look across the street. There's a guy like, fuck. And then I get in the car and I'm like... Do I really want to share with Joe that I tried on like four different outfits last night? Do I want to share with him that I got caught yesterday at... I was eating at... There's a place called Johnny Pastrami's in West Adams that just opened. It's an old restaurant that just reopened. And I know the guy that runs it, Danny. And he said, you know, there's an outdoor... I only eat in outdoor spots right now. And I'm like, what the fuck? I'm so scared I'm gonna be canceled if I talk to Joe. You're gonna be fine. We're gonna maneuver our way through this. But then I go, I've been canceled so many times. Like, I kind of like it. It feels good. You haven't been canceled since the age of real canceling now. The age of real canceling has been since you were on the podcast last. That's when canceling is kicked up to new level. Because now the pylons happen. Right. Before it was just canceling, like you would get in trouble for things. Someone would write an article. He'd be like, oh my God, what did David do? He's crazy. But now the pylon, the social media and the effectiveness of the pylon has been established. So now whenever someone, anything happens to someone, all the pylon people. But I like getting canceled. Did you enjoy it? Did you see the Michael Jordan documentary? I still haven't seen it. Sorry, I'm not gonna ruin it for you, but it's... I heard it's awesome. The actual filmmaking is kind of amateurish, but the subject matter is so dynamic that like you're in it. And like the guy's a full on gambling addict. Yeah. And it's 12 episodes. It could have probably been like four. And the story's the same. It's just, this guy didn't give me the best seat on the airplane. This guy overlooked me in high school. It's like all these slights and he takes it and he uses it as fuel. And so I sit here and I go, oh, I'm driving to Joe Rogan's right now. I'm scared to be canceled. And I sit here and I go, every fucking horrible thing that's happened in my life, physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, spiritual abuse, prison, getting my career taken away, or this or anything has always led to bigger and better. So I'm like, kind of like it. That's yeah. But that's just because you're a real person. Like you're not full of shit in any way, shape or form. You might be crazy. You're a lovable crazy. And when people know who you actually are, it's like you have these moments where things are uncomfortable and you're confronted with a bad scene, but then you rise above. Thank you. I appreciate that. What is your threshold with receiving compliments? My threshold? Yeah. What's your comfort level? I haven't seen you in a long time. Yeah, it's been a while. Can I give you five? Sure. Okay. Okay. You only look better as you get older. Oh, thank you. You have a beautifully shaped skull. As an artist, as a sculptor, I painted you. I don't like the painting anymore. I think I can do a better one now. It's awesome. It's an awesome painting. I'm like this guy, like all artists and sculptors out there listening, paint this guy's skull. It's beautiful. You're unbelievably curious, inspirational. You give me hope. You're funny. You're entertaining. And you're a leader. Just talk to all your guys right now. You're leading this charge to Texas right now. You're a perfectly imperfect, unrepeatable miracle of the universe. Wow. That's heavy. You're great, man. Well, that's very sweet of you. I appreciate you. Thank you very much, man. It's very nice of you. Yeah. I love, you know, I haven't talked to you in a long time, but I told you, I just, I'm sure a lot of people feel this way. You're just on all the time. You're in on YouTube or on a podcast or on someone else's podcast. So I still, I'm like, fuck, I think about you. You're in my, you're in my head. Can I give you an on air gift? Sure. Um, I was, while I was trying on all my outfits last night, I was like, I want to see who Joe's talking to. So this mic smells like Post Malone. So I was, uh, I was painting last night and I made you a shirt. Oh my goodness. Cause you guys got on a little thing. I didn't listen to the whole episode yet cause it's four hours, but, um, you were talking about ghosts at the beach, ghosts on the beach. So there's a ghost on the beach right there. You made this? Well, I didn't make the, it's, it's, uh, you see the ghost on the, you see the ghosts on the front. Yes. It's fucking awesome. You can give it away. I'm going to wear the shit out of this. Thank you very much. Yeah. That's so cool. You're welcome. That's awesome, man. Yeah. Ghosts on the beach. Yeah. You never see ghosts on the beach. All the ghost stories are always at night. It's true, right? Yeah. That was a good point. I felt like I made a good point. That was a great point. Because like everybody, I mean, if ghosts were real, like if they were really scary, you'd see them in cool times, like at the pool, you know, in Vegas, drinking, everybody's having fun. Fucking ghost shows up freaks everybody out. Never. So, um, I got all the embarrassing stuff out of the way, I think. Oh no. So I was at this outdoor restaurant eating at the corner and not having a full on panic attack, but I have a nice, beautiful, wonderful quiet life now. I'm not on the air. I don't do podcasts. I don't do interviews. I'm not, I'm not like, my life is amazing. Like I completely changed my life since the last time I saw you. And I go, I do want to talk to Joe, but maybe, you know, maybe I'll just talk to you on the phone or go visit you in Texas. Like, do I need to go on the air? Well, I gave you that option. I was like, you don't have to do this. But right, but I'm a sick person. But you're a fun guy. You're fun. People enjoy listening to you. So I had this, uh, sculpture that I made and it was in my car and I just brought it out and I sat next to it and I said, I'm just going to prepare a little bit. So I started preparing for the Joe Rogan experience. And I started talking to this sculpture at the, and I'm like looking, I'm like, you know, it's three o'clock. There was no one eating there. And I got caught. I got caught talking to a scholar. I got caught talking to sculpture. I was talking to this thing I made and it wasn't a, it wasn't a friend, but it was a guy I knew. And he's like, Dave comes over and I'm like, Oh fuck dude. And he's like, shame red face. I'm like, Oh, Hey. And he's like, are you talking to a thing right now? And I was like, Oh yeah, I'm going on this thing tomorrow. I just wanted to prepare a little bit. I'm a little bit nervous. I got my nerves. I'm because I talked to you what Thursday? No, I talked to you a few days ago and we talked for a while and I'm like, this guy is a professional talker. He's a commentator. He's a standup. He has his podcast that goes on for hours and hours, thousands of hours. It's an art. Your painter, your MMA artist in my world. I'm also an MMA artist, mixed media artist, right? That's the bisexual of painting. It's like you use everything. Anything goes. So I go, this guy is so fucking good at it because I got off the phone with you and I'm like, he's so good at talking. He's so good at talking. He's just, it's like, it's like when you practice something so much that you don't even know how, how, how good you are at it, you know? And even, even, even your podcast, they go on for a few hours, which is against every, everyone's like, oh, kids, they have no attention span these days. It's like 10 seconds, 15 seconds. It's fucking TikToks or Instagram. Here's this guy, he's talking to Post Malone for four hours and, and, and making it seem just seamless and effortless. And that's because you're a master at it. And I go, I'm a, my confidence level as far as this art form is low. I don't talk to people anymore. I mean, I talk to my friends, but I don't talk as storytelling or entertainment. My memory is shot to shit. I watch three seasons of Ozark and I can't even tell you anyone's name. I go, there's Jason Bateman and there's the kid and the kid with the drone. And I don't know the wife. I don't know anyone's names. I can't recall anything. And you have all these scientists that are brilliant. You have comedians and everyone's like quick with it and they're fast. And I go, I'm dim with it. I'm like a human soft serve. I'm like, I can't, I can't. Are you comparing yourself to the other people? Well, I got to let that go right now. Well, you are who you are. The other people can't do what you do. That's true. Yeah. Your abstract way of thinking, like the way you are as a person, you're so freely yourself. That's what allows you to create such amazing art. Like you just, you're free. Some people can't be themselves. They're not good at it. You're really good at being David Cho. Thank you. You're really good at it. I'm horrible at taking compliments by the way. So thank you. It's uncomfortable for everybody I think, unless you're a real creep. You did a great right now. Just hung in there. You're fucking awesome. Just hung in there. That was good. Could I have done more? Could I have given you like... No, we're good. We're good. You want to hear something funny? Okay. So the reason why I kind of did that was I wake up every morning wracked with anxiety and nerves and it starts immediately. You're a piece of shit. You're no good. People don't like you. This and that. And then like, what did I say when you showed me my painting from 2018? I immediately have to self-dep... That's not that good. I could do a better one. So I talk to my therapist about it. I say, I don't have a self... I don't have a high self opinion of myself. And they go, well, an average human living in society today, from morning till night, will say thousands of horrible things about themselves. Like thousands. Like, I'm not good enough. I'm fat. I'm ugly. This and that. Just... And for you to say just a few nice things, I'm like, one of those is some fucking Stuart Smalley shit. And I'm good enough. And I'm pretty... And they go, see, you did it again. You just went right into it. Like, why can't you say you're a good painter? You know you're a good painter. Why can't you say you're... And so they go, give me five right now. Five what? Say five fucking things about yourself. And I couldn't give them one. I couldn't give them one. And they're like, don't you think that's off? Has that always been the case? I think so. I think it's... To go into that kind of self hatred is... I could sit here and say it's a Korean thing. K-Rage. But it's... K-Rage. They said, you know, take a stick of deodorant. Go home tonight. And write, I am enough on your mirror. So you see it every morning. And I go, I'm not doing that. That's fucking retarded. I'm not doing that. The way you deodorate. Yeah. They go, we're at... You're paying us. You're here. Just do it. All right, fine. I'll do it. I go and I write, I am... I misspell it. E-N-U-F-F. I am enough. And then I go next week and they go, so how's it going? You know, brushing your teeth. You look at, I'm enough. I can't see it. They're like, what kind of deodorant did you use? You know, the clear invisible one. No, get the thick, white, chunky, whatever. Any perspirate. Yeah, Old Spice and like, you're a fucking graffiti artist, right? So okay. And I said, I can do it, but I don't believe it. Because I can sit here and tell you the amount of times in my life that I wasn't enough. Like I can sit here and go through many, many stories of women dumping me for richer, better looking, more famous, better this, better that. I can tell you of jobs I didn't get. So I'm not enough and I'm not, you know, so, and it's this struggle. It's this burning fucking like the Michael Jordan shit. Like I got a fucking, I'm not at war. I'm not, you can't fucking cancel me. I've already canceled myself. How are you going to cancel someone who's already canceled? There's nothing you're going to say. There's nothing you're going to fucking do that's going to outweigh anything I've already said to myself. You are that guy sucks. He's ugly. He's fat. He's full, full of shit that I've already said that, you know? So do you think that fuels your art? Do you think there's a benefit? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. But you know, there's been that, there's been that debate forever. How do you create great art? I'm not talking about good art, but like the transcendent art, the art that like is, you remember it, you're, it'll live on for generations. And it's like, oh, it's like the Picasso and, and Van Gogh and all the comedians that fucking hate their, it's, it wasn't a debate for me. When I look at the art that I enjoy, the comedy that I like, the music that I like, you must fucking suffer. You must suffer. You have to suffer. Comfort is the, is the killer of creativity. That's what I used to say. And you know, and I'm, you know, I'm saying it now, but like, I'd be like in a room, like ranting this. Comfort is the killer of create. You got to fucking, it's the killer of everything, man, but I'm rich as fuck. Yeah, I'm very comfortable. But you're, you're comfortable financially, but that's how you keep sharp. You keep sharp by not being comfortable in other ways. So I sit there and I'm going off on this rant. I'm like in a fucking echo chamber. They're like, how long you been telling the story for my whole life? I believe it's not a debate for me. Right. Do you know great artists that are comfortable and they're happy and they're like, they have loving families and there's always something. There's always something. I think you can have a balance, but you have to have this thing, whatever that thing is. There's got to be some sort of a struggle. And that was never a debate for me. I go, there has to be that struggle. And they go, but what if you take it away? Like what if you chose happiness over great art? What if you chose? And they go, Dave, for someone who's rebelled and like made your own rules and done everything your own way, it's so weird that you just kind of accept this. They go, can like what you just said, can great transcendent next level art be created without that thing, without that edge, without, with you pursuing joy and peace and love in your life? And I go, you know what? Never tried it. I never tried it. But why haven't you tried it? What did you just say? I don't know. F, E, P, S, H. Fear, ego, pride, shame, humiliation. That's why you never tried it. All right. Fuck. You know? And I go, you know what? I'll try it. And I'm, today I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm the happiest.