If You Had to Be Eaten By An Animal...

Maybe you got eaten by a bear? That's a way to go, boy. If you had to be eaten by any animal, what would it be? Oh, the bigger, the better. Shark. Over quick. Ah, no, not shark. I don't like that because I don't like my head being here and the evils under here. They're like, just... It's gonna take a bite out of me first to see if I'm edible. And then you're just sitting there, you know, missing a chunk of your leg going, please don't let me taste good. Let him just fucking leave. It's interesting. Sharks used to be, if you caught a shark, people were happy. You got that fucking thing out of the water. Good. Like when fishermen were bringing a shark, people would get excited. Now you're a monster. Well, there's this thing that I follow about sharks on Instagram and like, it's fucked. This person found a tiger shark. The 18 footer or some shit, right? And she went down, she somehow gained this thing's confidence and had like a fish, some fishing line and like took it out. Okay. This can't be real. And then somehow she ran into the thing again in the ocean and she was petting it like a fucking lap dog. Trying to suggest that this thing... Knew her? Knew her and was happy and respect... It mean the way they cut it together and of course the music always takes you emotionally where they want you to go. But I was just watching that whole thing going like, it's good that you did that, but I don't think you're at the, I can now, this tiger shark has talked to all the other tiger sharks. No, no, no. Bill's cool. Do you remember Beastmaster? Remember that TV show? No. There was a dude who was like a jack dude. He had like big bracelets on and he would fucking commune with the animals and they would like land on his shoulder and shit. Eagles would land on his arms and all the animals would listen to him. It was a really stupid show. Because there's nothing humble about that name. Beastmaster. Beastmaster. They're allowing you to live and you're... Jamie's got it. Now you're acting. Yeah. You gotta have the Tarzan hair. Who was the guy in Beastmaster? Was it a TV show? No, it was a... I think it was a TV show. That looks like a TV show. I think it was a TV show. Was a TV show? That guy had this special relationship with the fucking... with the animals. They all listened to him. Oh yeah, I didn't know he had a sword too. So it was... And a big dick too, judging by how long that fucking loincloth is, huh? It's like hanging down below his knees. If you don't have a big dick, the lion is not gonna listen to you. Look, that eagle's landing on his arm. Yeah, this was like the Conan the Barbarian days. Like after Conan, the movie, was a giant hit, there was a lot of dudes with their shirts off holding swords. Holding swords. It was a thing. Tell them lions where to go. Yeah, it was a... I'll tell you one thing that I would never do in acting is I will never, ever... I probably shouldn't say this, but like working with monkeys, aside from you know it's gonna be a bad movie. It's just no fucking way. I worked with a writer who got attacked by a monkey when he was a kid. And it was just one of those organ grinder ones and they fucked him up. One of those fucking... You fucked a monkey with a hat. Eating disorder monkey, you know? He has to eat all the bananas that goes in cukes. It's in show business, man. It's got a dance for the organ grinder music. Are there fat monkeys? And he was talking about... Is clarity an understanding of monkeys just by getting attacked by one? He goes, nah, he goes, I won't do it. He goes, you do like you're good for about 18, 20 minutes and then the monkey just starts fucking acting crazy and then eventually it just gets like, you know... I've always said that. You go to the circus, like a bear doesn't want to ride a bicycle. So what did they do to that fucking thing? To make it give in. Yeah. And it's a bear. So eventually it's going to become a bear again. You know? And it's something's going to... Like all that circus, all that shit. It's just, it's inevitable. Like what you're doing. Yeah, circus is dark. Because what they do to elephants and monkeys and bears, there's a great video. It's not a good... Well, it's horrible. Do you have any happy videos of animals just existing? I don't save those. I know you don't. Just them chilling out. There was a video of a chimp riding a bike and a bear riding a bike and the chimp tripped up the bear somehow and they crashed and the bear grabs a hold of the chimp, just rips it apart from everybody. With that fucking... Yeah, here it is. So the bear's riding and the chimp's riding and they collide. And when they collide, the bear is fucking furious at the chimp and just starts fucking wrecking them. It's like road rage, right? Goes down and he tries to help them get back on the bike. Is this it? Is this the one? Oh, he's got the chimp right there? Yeah. Oh yeah, it's too late. I thought they have a muzzle on the fucking thing. Not this time. They trusted him. So he just fucks up that chimp and they can't get it away from him. That's not even a big bear. It's a small bear. No, dude, that's fucking huge. Would you want to fight that guy in a bar? No. That guy that's stocky, that hairy coming at you. George Animal Steel. It's just such a stupid fucking form of entertainment. Let's get animals to do shit that they don't normally do. People are freaking out. I like it took them that long to stand up to realize that's not part of the show. Something about music. It can just take you emotionally where you want them to go. Yeah, it's a lazy one.