Bow Hunter Aron Snyder's Most Painful Experiences in the Woods

I bring up the Lancaster's are who I went with when I stayed in the NWT for that two months time frame. Mm-hmm. Those guys live up there. I bet if you asked a Bart or a Clay Lancaster how many times they've been blessed charged, left charged, it's like triple digits. Like, just hunting with those guys, the shit that they've done... Triple digits, meaning 100 times? At a minimum. Oh, God. So, like the shit those guys deal with, they've been doing it since birth, right? And so, I was telling them, like Amy and Frank, I was like, okay, you guys know how much I've done and all the different things, you know, hunted, how many animals I've put on the ground. It's a fraction. Clay Lancaster's been on 320 sheep hunts. 320. That's a lot. That's not including caribou, moose. He's been all over the world. So, the amount of experience those guys have and the stories, like when I get those guys on the podcast, it's hilarious because I, you know, I just got to experience a two and a half month section of it. We were literally from a light bulb, from a paved road, hours from any electricity. Like, it's a 12-hour drive to where the helicopter picks you up and then you're flown in another two hours. So, when I got bit by that bite, it was funny, like that spider, it was funny at first. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, I'm fucking... I bit by a spider up there and I'm like, hey, Clay, my legs fucked up. I think I bit by something. He's like, ah, there's nothing poisonous up here. Well, my... I fucking died. My legs swelled up and we're drawing circles around it. Well, the first couple of circles, right, wasn't that big of a deal. So, Clay cuts it open and listen to the podcast. He's hilarious because he squeezed that thing and I acted like it didn't hurt. I thought he was going to pass out from fucking chalk. So, squeeze the pus out? Yeah. I don't know that it helped, but it gave him pleasure. What kind of spider was it? Man, you got to listen to my podcast, hear the whole story, but we ended up calling it the Long Caulk Black Hobo Spider and there's a story beside that, but I think it was a Hobo Spider. Those are dangerous. Yeah, but I don't think they're overly poisonous. I think I was allergic to it, but the moral of the story, in six hours, my leg locked up straight, there was veins going up towards my heart and I had cold sweats, heart rate was racing, and Clay's like, dude, we got to get you out of here. You're going to fucking die. We are a long, long, long ways from anywhere. How far? Four hour helicopter ride, but then you're dealing with some fucked up doctor in the northern part of White Horse, you know? It's a fucking doctor. It wouldn't have been good. So, I called my buddy, who's a medic, and I was like, dude, what should we do? And he's like, all right, piss on it, bleach, ibuprofen, fucking get some shit. Yeah, because I guess bleach cleans everything out. Like, he's giving me, I can't remember all this stuff. So, Trump was right? I don't know what's wrong. Exactly. But I was like, holy shit. I was like, okay, so we're pouring pee on it. We're like crushing up ibuprofen. Yeah, do you pour pee on it? Did you let your buddy pee on it? So, here's the thing, one of my buddies must have had a big Johnson because he was ready to pee on it right there. And I'm like, dude, pee in a fucking bottle. I'm like, I don't want to see your wiener while you're peeing on my leg. And so, you wouldn't want it right off the tap. Somehow or another, it's better if he pees in a bottle and then pours it on you. It would have been awkward. And think of the stories that have been told after about getting pee on you. Yeah, but it would be funny stories. Well, either way, we're pouring pee on my leg. But it was a matter of survival. Isn't that funny? That you'd rather have a guy pee in a bottle and then pee, then pour that pee on you, then pee on you. I guess looking at it that way, yeah. It's weird. I get it. I feel, I'm right there with you. I understand your thought process. Well, I think I'd let the guy piss on me, though. At the time, I was not overly worried. And then when my leg locked up, it's what... So, if you measured my leg, it gained two and a quarter in circumference inches. That's how much my leg swelled up. Oh, wow. That's a lot. Yeah, it was... I mean, I'm laughing about it now. But what was funny is once it went back down, we just duct taped towels around my calf muscle to go on moose hunts because it was so fucking painful when the infection was going down because of the willows were beating it up. And I'm like, I really want to see some 70-inch wide moose. So we taped towels around my calf. So you never made it out of there? No. So you just dealt with it while you were in the woods? Yeah, it went away in like 24 hours. Oh, okay. Yeah, it wasn't that... But you didn't think it was going to. You thought you were going to die. Eh, I don't want to make it sound worse than it was. It got a little nerve-wracking there towards the end because my fucking heart started racing like... And I'm like, man, it's not good. So your body's doing good. Man, when you have an infection, infections are fucking dangerous, man. Well, I had veins going up my leg. Like, you can see the veins, that you're saying? Clay was talking about it because I was... Because of course you have veins going up your leg. That's how you get blood. Yeah, and it showed them a lot. So they were blue or something? It looked like an Etch-a-sketch going up my leg. Dark? Yeah, yeah, dark. So you were worried that the infection was making its way to your heart? Well, from what limited knowledge I had was that is a pretty much sure thing you're going to fucking die. That's when I got nervous. Do you carry any antibiotics with you or anything when you go into a hunt like that? I do when I go to Canada now because of their weird government. I shouldn't even say this. I have friends that will prescribe them to me to take with me. Now, last... In 18, I don't even remember, my hands looked like Deadpool's face from that milkweed or some shit. I was... Shit that happens in the backcountry. What happened? So I'm on that mule deer hunt, and my hands are swelling up. And I don't know why. And they look like Deadpool's face. And I'm like, what the hell is wrong with my hands? I'm looking around like, what could be around me? It's not poison ivy. And my hands are swelling up like... Remember that movie, Big Trouble in Little China? The Asian dudes' hands swell up and blow... Yeah, it looked like that. Well, as it turns out, it's hogweed or milkweed. I don't know. Some fucking plant that does that. And if you... Now, if you Google it and you pull it up, it's fucking nasty. But if you want to Google hogweed, on certain humans, it has this crazy rash inflammation. So my hands, it's affected by sunlight. It's worse. So I'm at 13,000 feet, and I'm on the spotter with my hands in the sun all day to a point like... And at 13,000 feet, the sun is way stronger. Fuck yeah. Yeah, you get really burnt up. It uses solar charger. It charges up your shit twice as fast because you're that close to the sun. Is that really what it's from? Or is it just a lack of... Oh my God, look at that giant hogweed. Look at the hands. It wasn't good, let me tell you. So my hands look like those ones in the middle. Blow that picture up in the right hand corner. That is crazy. The one that you see, the large picture. The one... Yeah, look at that. What the fuck, man? That's from hogweed? So go to the left. The one in the middle there, that's what my hands look like. No. The one in the middle, the left. That one, yep. They look like that. So Frank comes over and he's like, dude, what the hell is wrong with your hand? I'm like, you know, that's a good question. So we come out because I... Dude, it was bad. And I go to the doctor, right? And I'm like, you know, I go to the emergency room and I'm like, hey, I... What does that hogweed look like just so I know? Some people have gotten third degree burns from it. Whoa. It's not good. Can we see an image? Yeah, yeah, it just was like a little plant. That's it? That stuff? That's beautiful. Giant hogweed and it's toxic cousins. Wow, that's crazy. But those are the things you just don't think about, right? So I went and they gave me, I don't know, all kinds of steroid cream and shit and it went away in a day or two and we biked back in. This looks like a flower. I would have never imagined. This is just... How did it get on both your hands? Your hands just rubbed up against it? Well, you figure there's big fields of it and I've got my bow hanging and I'm low crawling and just like it would any weed. To mitigate that, what do you do? Do you wear gloves? Is there something you could put on your hands? I don't know. Look how fucking tall that shit is. Yeah, I just kept my hands out of the weeds the next year. Oh my God. Toxic giant hogweed plants show up in Duncan Lake... I don't know, you just made it too big. Lake Cowichan Gazette. Where is that, Duncan? I don't know. Look at the size of that. It's like fucking nine feet tall. It wasn't that tall where I was at. It was three foot tall, right about even with your hands. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Just that weed has some sort of an oil or something like that? That's what they said. The doctor's an Ivy type deal? Yeah. Well, it's funny because when I went, they had no idea. I'm like, hey, my buddy from Alaska messaged me and he said, dude, I think that's hogweed. I'm like, what? I had the same reaction you did. What the fuck is hogweed? Googled it, drove across the road, Kaiser's whatever, emergency room, things like right across the road from Kefaro. I drove over there and I'm like, hey, I'm all screwed up. And they're like, what? They don't know what it is. And I'm like, hey, this is what I think it is. They googled it just like we did. And they were like, oh, well, that makes sense because they didn't know. And then they gave me like this steroid cream to put on it and I don't know, went away in a couple of days. Jesus Christ. So between that and the bite, what was worse? Oh, the bite. The bite was that much worse. I could have kept hunting with that. I just not knowing what it was. Well, we'd been in there 12 days. I'm like, ah, it's about time to come out anyway. So we came out. What was crazy, we came out a couple of days. We go back in and Frank's already got his deer. We go back in and Frank, I thought his appendix burst. As it turns out, he just ate too much sushi and it got clogged up in his stomach. But Frank is harder than woodpecker lips. We get on these two deer we're trying to get and he's not getting out of the tent. And so Frank is not like that. And he's like, I hear him go, sir, I'm going to stay in a tent this morning. And I'm like, dude, you good? Now, keep in mind, Frank got pulmonary edema. And that dumb shit hiked out with pulmonary edema. He literally, his lungs filled up with liquid. And that's an altitude sickness, right? Altitude sickness and that fucker hiked out nine miles with pulmonary edema. Jesus Christ. When he got back, he'd cough and it was like imping a water bottle. He's a tough individual. So I'm like, dude, this guy, I even texted Amy. I'm like, hey, Frank's fucked up. I might have to hit the beacon. Like I might have to get help. Anyway, I go over, I shoot this deer. So it was just sushi? I can't say. So where did you guys eat sushi in Denver the day before? So I think what had happened, we had starved ourselves for 12 days, right? Dehydration and he must ate in the woods. We came out, we all went out to dinner and I think he ate all that white rice and it just clung to his intestines like a wooly mammoth because he ended up just having to take a big poop, right? Right in the middle where your appendix is, he's like, it hurts right here. And I've had gallbladder issues. I got, I passed a kidney stone like six miles in. So I was like, his appendix has erupt. He's going to die back here. And so let's show you how the Moxie, the Frank has, he drug his ass out of that tent and filmed me shooting that mule deer and he hobbled his ass over there after I shot it. And it's fucking mile and a half from where he's glass and flagging me in. And he just sat by the deer. I cut it up, whatever. And I'm like, dude, I'll get most of it. You good? And he's like, yeah, I'm OK. I'm OK. And I'm like, I can tell you're not fucking OK. Like you're in pain. And he made it out and then he took a guy in poop and everything was OK. But I thought he was going to I thought he was going to have to eat the beacon. That's so bizarre that it was just from rice and poop. Well, we're not doctors, but that's what I chalked it up to. Yeah, maybe food poisoning. Sure it wasn't food poisoning. It wasn't puking. That was the only thing. But again, I'm not a doctor, but every time I've had it, I puked. So those are the worst experiences. What about injuries? You ever get like really hurt out there? Trying to think the kidney stone. That was a bad one. You had to piss that out. Oh, fuck, that was horrible. How big was it? No, I'll tell the quick version of it. I think I was 10 days into a hunt and I shot a mule deer. We dehydrated? Fuck yeah, I dehydrated and I peed blood and of course, like an idiot. And I'm like, that's fine, whatever. And I hiked the mule deer out, turned around. I met a buddy, dropped it off and then hiked back in. And then like that night or the night after I was it was pretty high elevation. But anyway, I went after this bull and something like knocked loose in my kit. You know, I didn't know what it was. Just all of a sudden I had this shooting pain. And I looked at the dude on the green mile trying to pee. Right. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Like I literally I'm like, I'm going to pass out from shock. What the hell is wrong with me? Did you think it was a kidney stone? I didn't even I didn't know. Right. I did. I didn't. It was so much pain in my back area that I knew it had something to do with my kidneys. But every time I tried to pee, I literally would drop me to my knees. And so I was like, OK, let's assess this. And I'm trying to think through should I take next to no gear and try and hike out, take enough gear to stay the night, but then have the burden of the weight? You know, what's going to be the best option because I didn't have any service and I didn't have a big I didn't have anything back with me that I could get a hold of anyone. And so I'm like, fuck it. No guts, no glory. I grabbed the basic essentials and hobbled my ass out. And at one point I did have a phone by them service. I texted my buddy Tony and said, hey, what is the nearest hospital to this trailhead? And I lost service. And so all he knew was I'm fucked up. So I get to the trailhead and I get in my Jeep and I had a giant Jeep and I'm doing like 90 down the road and I get pulled over. Well, the cop was looking for me because my buddy had called and said, I don't know what's going on. He's somewhere. Well, the cop was kind of a dick, right? I get out and I'm like, hey, man, he wanted to call an ambulance. And I'm like, look, dude, I just hiked out six miles. I'm not paying thirty five hundred dollars for a fucking ambulance ride. I just hiked six miles out. I can make it to the hospital. And so he was a little bit of a dick, but he followed me into the hospital and I passed it. I don't know. Click in the toilet. Tink, tink, tink. And it looked like a chicka. No, but it would look like a chicka pea. Oh, a chick pea? Like a little spiky little bastard. Oh, OK. Yeah, it was horrible looking. How big was it? Not very big. But you know, in the baby, your dickhole. Holy moly. Anything going through that. What was crazy is right after that, I was good to go. I mean, once you passed it, I was fine. I went by hike back in the next day.