Bill Burr Responds to Bear Video As Only He Can!

I feel if I was going to go out and go kill something cute and fuzzy, if I fucking had a total hypocrite because I am a meat eater anyways, if I used a bow and arrow, it would feel like an accomplishment. I watched Ted Nugent kill a bear, which I could never do when there's all these fucking places to just get a chicken sandwich. Do I really need to make a fucking bear double cheeseburger? Do you want to try some, I have bear sausage in the freezer back there. Would you try it if I gave it to you? No. Really? No, because I went to the zoo one time and I saw this bear and it was funny because it was sitting half in the water and half out and had its arms, its front legs fucking like, it looked like it was sitting in a jacuzzi. Like a lounge. And we pulled up on the bus to look at it and it was just the way it looked, I kind of locked, I met eyes with the thing and I knew what I was thinking. Pull up the video of the bear killing the deer. Killing the deer in the backyard while it's eating it alive and the deer's screaming. Why? Why? Because you need to know what a bear really is. When you see bears in real life, you go, oh, that's what that thing is. It's a fucking killing machine. You think the bear would just punch it in the head to stop hearing it? Look at this. See that? Look at that thing. No, it's getting it by the neck. No, it's taking chunks out of it, bro. The reason why that thing's screaming is because it's biting its back. Okay, that's enough. That's a bear. It sounds like me trying to touch my toes every morning. You know what's hilarious? You know what my daughter does? She likes to stretch with me. She thinks it's funny. And she makes those noises because she thinks she's supposed to. So she goes, when she goes, she goes, I want to stretch your dada. And then she goes, oh, oh, like I have like a foam roller and she'll come walk in the room and she'll look at me and she'll smile. And it's funny. She sits on it because she doesn't know how to use it. She sits down and she just goes, oh, oh, that's hilarious. And my wife laughs at me. She's imitating how old you are.