Best of the Week - October 27, 2019 - Joe Rogan Experience

It just shows like, wow, this is wild. This is a wild sport. It's pretty exciting. How long are the rounds? Are they normal length? Three minutes? Five rounds of three minutes, yeah. Okay. Yeah, exactly. So it's very similar to Muay Thai. Yes, but then the crazy part, which my fights, I fought in traditional literary rules, is that you have an injury timeout. An injury timeout? Meaning that, let's say you knock me out, Joe, and then they pull me out in my corner, they slap my face, they bite my ear, they pull my hair. Bite your ear? Whatever, they want to make me up. Bite your ear? But that helps you wake you up. Really? I don't know. It hurts, no? Have they done that? Not to me. I never use my tongue. But you've seen people do that? Pull the hair, yeah. You've seen them bite each other's ears? Yeah, they go, they just like, they mumble, they... Just chew on the ear a little bit? Really? It hurts, no? Well, I'm sure it hurts, but I mean, what about ice? It seems like that would be a better way to wake you up. They do everything. Because let's say you have two minutes to get revived. Okay, so you get KO'd. Yeah. And the fight's not over? Two minutes to get revived. Why isn't the fight over? I don't know, that's the traditional back 2000 years ago, they want to give another chance. What? But the WLC, thankfully... Oh my God, that is so crazy. Yeah. WLC is eliminating that? They're wrong with that. And I'm good with that. If you want guys to have a career out of La Trois, right? Yeah. It's better for the brain. Oh yeah, a lot better. Yeah. Because I've seen, I think only seen one time actually, it was Thun Thun Minh with, I think, Cyrus Wade actually. You get the only guy. You get knocked out, he went back to his corner, got revived and won the fight. What? Yeah, he went by decision. No, there's no decision. No, there's no decision. The style. Cyrus Washington's corner threw in the towel. Yeah. Why would you do bald ponytail? It's so funny, man. Is there a girl out there that fucks guys only who are bald with ponytails? Sadly, yeah. Come on. Sadly, someone fucks the bald ponytail guy. How's that work? What's his game? Yeah. Money. Speaking of bald ponytail, did you see what happened in the game when LeBron's hair fell off? Somebody showed me a photo, but I thought that looked so, was that real? That's real. Look, the guy is a fucking billionaire. He's a god amongst men. He's a giant super athlete with a really well-shaped head. What the fuck, man? Shave your head, bud. Shave your goddamn head. Pill up that picture because I want to see the fucking... He's got some nonsense glued on his head that's like not his hair. He has a toupee? Look at that. Look at that. His hair moved up and someone had to tell him. He says, oh, thanks, bro. So he get the bandana back in place. His hair moved. Wait, why did he do that? He's got some shit glued on his head. Bro, the guy, he's handsome. He's a superior physical specimen. LeBron's hair falls out during game. Oh, god. Go full screen, James. Full screen. He's disappearing. Then he Davis is telling him, hey, dog, your hair's up. Your hair fell off, dog. Oh, he did tell him. Yeah. Hey. Someone's up with your hair. He's laughing. Are they friends? Yeah. He's the only guy on the team that could probably tell him that. Anybody else would get traded immediately. Look at him. He's fucking with his hair. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. And last night he didn't have the headband on. He had somebody fix it up nice. Oh, god. He did have the headband on? No, did not last night. Look at his... That's nonsense. What's going on with his hair? Hey. Hey, someone wore your hair. Yo, dog. He's laughing. Yo, dog. Gotta fix that. Just so weird. Why does he want to deal with that? You know what it is? Because he hasn't accepted it yet. Yeah. But also, he's still young. He's 35. Whatever. Yeah, I know. But in his mind, he's like, I gotta still be the young guy. Yeah, but shave your fucking head. That's like John Cena grew his hair out now. I saw him on a fucking billboard and he has long hair and he always had like short military cut, you know? Well, he's trying to be a family man now. I know. He wants to be that guy. You were talking about the movies he's doing now. It's like a kid's firefighter movie or some bullshit. Is that bad? Oh, come on, dude. He always seemed to accept the fact that he was like, oh, this is it. I'm a genius at this. All right. Well, he did it differently. He would do, I mean, he was probably the most prolific big name guy of all time. And he actually inspired Louis CK to do a new hour every year because that's what he did. Karlin, yeah. George did a new hour every year. And part of the reason why he did that is- It was on stage 275 nights a year. That's crazy. But part of the reason why is he owed a lot of money. He did. A big time debt. I don't know how that happened, but he fucked up. In his book, Last Words, he talks about like he bought a jet. And sometimes he would like- He bought a jet? In the 70s, he was that fucking huge he bought a jet and he would sit on the runway in Long Island at a fucking LaGuardia and just do Coke in the fucking plane. His book, Last Words, is amazing. They published it posthumously, but he was working on it with Tony Hendra before he died. He was so awesome, man. I think about him all the time. Anytime I jump on stage, because every night after reboot, we get up on stage and work the crowd and stuff. I got a chance to say hello to him once. That was it. Yeah? Yeah. I met him at the comedy store. He was very friendly. Said hi to everybody. Said hi to the door guys. Hey, how are you? Said hi to me. Hey, hey, hey. George Godwin, how are you? He didn't know who the fuck I was. He had no idea. Just said hi. I said, hey, man, how you doing? And that's it. That was our thing. I worked with him a few times in the movies and stuff. One of my favorite fucking memories of George Carlin is we go see him do a show, Me and Chris Rock. It was me and my wife, Jen, and Chris was married to his wife, Malak, at that point. And George was playing at Caesars in Atlantic City. And so he's like, I got seats for you guys up front and stuff. So Rock had his role with the new. He was fucking at the height of his game and shit. And so we go see the show. And Carlin had a bit where he... It was like, people I could do without. The guys named Skip shit like that. And one of them was people I could do without. Any man over the age of 12 who wears their baseball cap backwards. So long before I met him, I'd always hear that bit and be like, ah, so the night we're at the show, he's up there doing it a bit. And he's like, another person I could do without? Kevin, you're exempt from this. Guys over the age of 12 who wear their baseball cap backwards and Rock, like my eyes lit up and Rock's next to me and Rock goes, he knows who you are. Even though we'd worked together on the movie. It was so fucking awesome. He made you exempt though. For the show. For that bit. That's nice though. That's kind of sweet. But if you get a similar story coming out of Iran, for example, who's not a US ally, or they love to go after Maduro, and I'm not saying he's a good guy, but they go after Maduro because he's not a US ally. So they could harp away on all the negative things about him, but we're not having a conversation about Jamal Khashoggi. We're not having a conversation about people being beheaded in the public square for stuff like sorcery, Joe. They kill people in Saudi Arabia for sorcery and witchcraft and drug smuggling and apostasy. If you don't think God is real and you say that in Saudi Arabia, they could kill you. They could cut your head off in the public square. And we are killing people for sorcery. Yes. Really? Yes. They're killing people for sorcery. It's crazy. The Khashoggi thing is super disturbing because it seems like everybody's like, well, what are you going to do? Eh, what are you going to do? I know. I mean, it would have been cleaner if they just made him have some sort of heart attack or an accident or something along those lines. If there was plausible deniability in any way. The way they did it, it's almost like this guy wanted them to do it a certain way. He wanted them to chop this guy up and put him in bags and deliver him out of the country in suitcases and shit or whatever the fuck they did. However, they got rid of them. It's such a disturbing decision that they made. Yeah. And they know they're going to get away with it. And again, this is what happens. Right? It's been over a year. They have. They absolutely have. When was the murder? How long ago? Last time I was on the podcast, we spoke about it. And last time I was on the podcast was a year ago. So it was over a year ago. And it's just whatever. Again, if they're our ally, that means, I mean, they really do. There's so much business that goes on between the US and Saudi Arabia and the weapons deals and everything that the argument Trump Trump actually made this argument in the White House sitting next to, you know, the Saudi crown prince. He's like, they're buying so many weapons. It's so tremendous. The weapon is there by and he holds up like the pictures of this from Raytheon. This is what he's getting. This is from Boeing. This is what he's getting. And it's like, oh my God, imagine for a second it's anybody like imagine it was a deal like that with Kim Jong Un. He's like, we're selling Kim Jong Un these tremendous weapons. Did you threaten us today? Who I didn't see if Kim Jong Un did. Did Kim Jong Un threaten us today? I think they... I was waiting to show you this. Oh, we got here. Saudi Arabia's anti witchcraft unit breaks another spell. What? The unit established in 2009 is charged with apprehending sorcerers and reversing the detrimental effects of their spells in the Gulf country. Let me see the picture. Scroll up for the picture. Oh my God. That looks like Baghdad Bob. Remember Baghdad Bob from the Iraq War, when Iraq was getting slaughtered. He was like, everything's great. Iraq's kicking ass. Do you remember that guy? Yes, I do remember that. He was like their Ministry of Propaganda guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Ahmed Shalabi, the guy who they wanted to be the... When the severed head of a wolf wrapped in woman's lingerie turned up near the city of... How do you say that? Tabooka? I have no idea. In northern Saudi Arabia this week, authorities knew they had another case of rich witchcraft on their hands, a capital offense in the ultra conservative desert kingdom. Is that really what it is? Is that conservative? It was what my body was responding to against malaria. The first time I lost 33 pounds in five days. And so as a vomiting red and green, blood and bile, I lost most of my hearing. My peripheral vision started disappearing. I had some called black water fever where my urine was literally as dark as that black clock. Take pictures of it? I didn't. I probably should have. It freaked me out. Five days I didn't urinate. And then when I finally did, if you Google black water fever, one in four or one in two people that get it, they die. You didn't urinate for how many days? Five days. Five days I couldn't pee. Oh my God. They were trying to get IVs in me. My veins were collapsing. Oh Jesus. So that was pretty brutal. But yeah, man, so I'm getting my health better there because I do want to fight again if I can. Can you if you have this stuff in your brain? I'm journaling my road to recovery. But if they don't know what this parasite is, how are they treating it? How are they going to get out of your system? Hopefully they don't find anything because it just got off those rounds of... So they're testing me for Lyme disease. They're testing me for all these kinds of parasites, amoebas, bacterias, mold. You can get Lyme disease in the Congo? Well I've been camping out here and I've gotten like a bit by five or ten ticks or something like that. But yeah, there's these wicked kind of ticks. My record is pulling five roaches out of my beard in one night. Oh Christ. So there's tons of bugs there. Dino, does Oklahoma have that Rocky Mountain tick? I think so. Not that. North Longstar tick? The one that gives you a meat allergy? The Lone Star tick. Have you had that one? I've been bit by that one. I don't think I have a meat allergy though. I hope not. Yeah, that's a crazy one. What is it called? Alpha-gal, alpha-galactose? It's something that is the reaction that this tick bite gives you. It makes you allergic to this specific element in red meat. Wow. Yeah, you can only eat fish and like if you try to eat meat you'll get really sick. Wow. It's crazy. That is crazy. But they're trying to figure it out why, and this is going to be crazy, why I'm 32 and I've had shingles five times. My first time I got malaria, I don't know if you can see the white in my beard over here, but I got white in my beard the first time I had malaria. The second time I had malaria, I had white come out of my beard down here. So your body's just freaking out. Yeah, so now I've got shingles five times and then this is going to sound crazy, but I know I have to have a ... This might be too much information, but I know I have to have a bowel movement whenever my nose starts running. So literally whenever I have to go, my nose starts running and then you take it. Running and running and running. How is that connected? I don't know. That's what they're looking into. Did you ever see any of Steven Zagal when he was very young? Mm-hmm. When he was teaching in Japan? I was totally fast. I mean, it's like, and it's really ... It's weird, right? Like me, right? Like serious actor, thoughtful actor. I'm like, what did you ... But I, like above the law, because I was into all that stuff when above the law came out and there was the scene in above the law and he's in an Aikido gee with the black thing and he's doing these things. And I was like, oh my God, this is so cool. When have you ever seen this in a movie? Yeah. And he was a big guy. And he made it violent. Yeah. It was a very unusual sort of contribution to martial arts, in martial arts movies. He made it realistic. Yeah. He was one of the most realistic martial arts movies ever. Yeah. You know, when you look back on it, there's things about it that don't date super well. Yeah, of course. But he was undeniably skillful. Literally what you just showed, the thing of the guy coming, it's that simple thing, that thrust and the break and the thing. Yes. He also, in the film, when the guys come at him, I see ... This shows you how it burns your brain. There's a scene where there's like a bodega and the guy, I think he smashes a bottle and he comes at him and he does a move in Aikido. It's called Kotakai-shi. It's like the wrist break flip over. And it was just like, oh my God, he's doing nuanced Aikido moves in a big action movie. It was kind of cool. Well, he was one of the first, I think the first Westerner to run a dojo in Japan. I mean, he was a legitimate Aikido master. Yeah. But what's interesting is when I studied over there, it was slightly controversial because I don't think he was ... He had broken away from like, like, Yoshiba Aikido. He was doing like the way that Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is not pure Japanese Jiu-Jitsu. He was doing something with ... It was somehow it was associated more with Osaka than Tokyo where the Hombu Dojo and Aikido is. And there was ... Some controversy. There was just like the way things are with schools of thought. But yeah, he had a certain legit kind of thing. And it's really wild because people like Mike Ovid's who was like the power agent of all of Hollywood in the 80s. Mike got a black belt training with Seagal. He was really serious Aikido-ist. I didn't know that. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, it does. He's a cautionary tale too though. I mean, not even Ovid's. I mean, Seagal.