Bert's Mickey Mantle Gene | Sober October Preview

I'm cool with anything we decide. I just think it should be... Hip-hop dancing and we should do it twice a year. Pfft! Okay, just... Wait, wait, wait, wait. One other thing. Shoot. You were saying earlier how your body moves. So... So, I want to know... Like, are you flexible or are you super flexible? Very. Yeah, show me. Really? How flexible are you? Can you do this when you touch your hands behind your back? Yeah, of course. No, no, behind yourself. Let's do this again! This way, this way. Stupid. Behind you. Can you... I got it. Let's see it. Can you... Can you do the splits? Yeah, I can do a split. Show us on the table right now. Can you do a split? Yes, I can. You can do a split. He only buys jeans that have Lycra in them. All right. So, he can do them. Let me... Show me how to do a split first and then I'll show you if I can do a split. Listen, I don't want to get a muscle pull, so I'll go down as far as I can go without warming up. Same here, same here. Yeah, yeah, you do the same. Why don't you guys just save time and touch dicks now? All right. Here we go. Oh, fuck me. Got that. Oh, my God. See, yeah. This dick is about that far off the ground and I think if he didn't have... I think if he didn't have jeans on, the gravity would take his dick all the way to the ground. Okay. All right, all right. That's legit. Yep. Bert? Yeah. And you want me to go that far? Yeah, farther if you can. So now, wait a minute. If I was at the end of yoga class, I could definitely... Take a jig and a grab, like... ...take a full split. And you want me to go all the way down like you did? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay, ready, Bert? Yes. Okay. Those pants are not even designed for that. Guys, let's keep going. Keep going. Take your shoes off. Don't hurt yourself. Okay, I'm hurting myself. Don't hurt yourself. Dude, I got to tell you, that was really close. It's a lot further than I thought it was. This is the exact conversation we had all month last October. You got a knee down. That was pretty good. What the fuck are you saying, man? Dude, but look, here's the deal. What's the deal? I'm not going into sober October half-ass. I'm definitely charging every one of you motherfuckers, just like I did last year. You have to. You can't follow up one of the shittiest all-time specials of all time with something even shittier. Yeah. Yeah, Bert, what are you saying? You got to like do something better. What are you saying? No, whatever we decide to do, I'm still going full tilt. You said you did that last year? No, no, no, no, no, no. Last year you went full tilt? No, last year I talked shit. No, last year he did his awful, and he's going to come back strong. But he was saying he's going to come after us like he did last year. I think pretty sure... No, no, no, no. Did we rewind that? Did he say something like that? No, I was saying, I was... Did he say something like that? Listen, hear me out. Okay. I was saying I'm not going to talk shit this year. Interesting. Okay. Right, but you know it can't work anymore, right? But that's why when I do it, it'll be so effective. Mickey Mantle's dead. Mickey Mantle's not dead. Mickey's not dead. I ran the Mickey Mantle line though, right? Mickey Mantle's dead. Literally, literal Mickey Mantle is dead. Yes. Acknowledge that I have the Mickey Mantle gene. You two first. I've already acknowledged it many times. Thank you. It does have the Mickey Mantle gene. What does that mean? Dude, my dad spoke at the memorial, at the Horace Memorial. He mentioned the Mickey Mantle gene. No, I wanted to. He goes talk about the people who died of disease and stuff like that. I was like, there's a lot of people and I wanted to yell out. They didn't have the Mickey Mantle gene. Oh my God. I did a date, I don't know, recently and there was with the promoters that you work with now and so you work with like one promoter. Easy bro. What? You work with the promoter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all do. Okay, keep going. So I was... What are you talking about? He's talking about your gene. He's talking about the one promoter is what he's trying to say. Yeah, the Mickey Mantle gene. Mickey Mantle promoter. It's like a single guy, when you're like, yeah, when we're hanging out with your girlfriend, he's like, this is his fucking... Anyway, she's got a lot of girlfriends, a lot of girlfriends. He's got this one guy. With the girlfriend charm. The problem is he's talking about this one guy. He's got this one guy. Sounds like a new girlfriend. He's going to get a call. I guess I'm your promoter, Bert. Oh yeah. Bert, I guess I'm the one promoter you work with. I'm definitely getting that fucking call. Bert, I just want to tell you, I heard Tom talking about the promoters and it may be proud that I'm your promoter. Oh, they know. They fucking know. I know that there's someone else. They know. There was someone else you would, I mean, you wouldn't be that hurtful that you would be referring to someone else as your promoter. I know you're talking about me. I don't want to be presented to a fucking sweating right now. Bert, I don't want to be presented to a... Oh my God. They brought up the gene and they were like, I've done a bunch of dates with him and I tried to hang out, but a couple days they're like, I can't do it, man. The booze. Yeah, they're like, I can't hang out with him. Very few people can keep up with my pace on the road. Mark Marin or Mark Norman, I have to say is worried about. He was like, I don't know if I can keep up, but don't try to. You broke Norman? You broke him? Is it day? Is it night? Why did he try? I don't know. It's just, I don't even notice. The party follows you. No, no, no. I'm going to say why did he try? Why would he try to keep up with you? Rookie move. Rookie move. I told him, I said you go on your pace, just be with him. 100%. Who's that guy's name? The promoter? You're all, you're all, you're one guy. The one guy he works with. I wasn't saying anything. I was telling you stories. You fucking... What the fuck? All right. So one thing, I think we all agreed that the surfing challenge was too crazy, right? That was dumb. That's Burke's idea. Hell yeah. That's Burke's idea. Surfing challenge. I was thinking it might be a fun idea to like, the amount of time on a board. No. The amount of time in the fucking mountain. I know, but here's the thing. It's like... I don't live anywhere near a fucking, you're going to be in Europe. It's just too hard. You live near New York and you live near LA? They have Long Beach, but you're going to be on the road. Oh, fuck, whatever. Where do people surf in New York? They surf? Long Beach. Really? I'm going to dance. I don't know.