Ben O'Brien Asks Joe Rogan For Marriage Advice

Listen, do you have any like Marriage advice like I've been married for coming up on five years. I Have a two-year-old my wife wants to have more children. I Guess bought a new house living in a brand new house in a new town This is you got a lot of things going on there pressure points right living the American dream Yeah, I'm very happy with my family. They're wonderful people. I love them, but like I want to sustain this I have a great thing. I'd like to put my arms around and keep this is so great I don't want it to go away. Well just that attitude alone your your awareness of how special it is You know you are doing the thing that everybody thinks of when they think about like fulfillment in life You're raising a child you're having children Yeah, you're you know you're engaged in this intense relationship with another human being we've created a person All those things those are giant man There was a giant and also you're engaged in an activity the 50% of the people fail And then they fail at it fucking good Hard man it goes down hard. It's screaming and swearing lawyers of all the levels of failure in life Like there's nothing more no failure more impactful than a divorce. I've met I mean I have so many friends that have been fired from Jobs, and it's not fun. It's not good, but they bounce back. Yeah, you bounce back they the I've seen guys Lose who they are from divorce. I've seen it happen I've talked about this too many times, but it's a true story I have a friend who has been divorced to a woman for 14 years. He's been married to a new one for 12 He has a family he has children with this new woman. It's over with the old one. He still pays her Every year and there's a possible children because he fucked her so hard. She can't work It's Because it's crazy cuz the laws are insane the laws are insane they don't make any sense We're not talking about a woman who is like 80 years old and can't work anymore either We're talking about a completely you know viable human being Dude, it's bananas. It is bananas for that to flip like you said when back to like the I do thing like when you say I do There's never I did have a buddy who when he said I do and they turned around she looked man. He looks scared Why was she bad? I probably that that she didn't say it right yeah, you didn't say it right well I just say that I want to be like a movie Yes, some people just don't they're not supposed to be together But they think they should be with somebody yeah They find somebody and they talk that someone into doing something fucking insane Yeah, like signing a legal contract that says you're gonna be together forever and ever till death But see like what my problem is a very lucky problem that I've got something that at least in this like early years It seems to be the right thing right Love you, honey. Love you, honey. Hope you ain't listen She made it this far. What are we two hours and what 30 minutes? Yeah, she's she's she's she's got a two-year-old by herself at home She ain't wrong. She checked a long time ago, but I like you know my challenge right now is I think about life I'm like I got this wonderful beautiful thing yeah, and I'm just the stresses that I'm gonna fuck it up Well that is Always this dress and I think that's one of the reasons why a lot of marriages fails because of this Intense pressure of the relationship you know like there's a finality and and I understand the need for this finality right there's a need for This contract and that everything locked down if you're a woman you can't like you when you're raising children You need help right you need a man to be there to help you raise it hopefully Yeah, but you also need financial help. It's difficult. You know it's it's this is all It makes sense that the woman wouldn't want to lock things in yeah like that it makes sense It's also a weird cultural tradition right. It's this weird thing that we have this law Like we we we bring the law involved into relationships, and it's it's very strange like legal contracts Yeah, and some of them are fucking preposterous right sometimes you see a guy who looks like Rupert Murdoch, right? And he's got this banging wife, and she's like 30 years old She's got big tits or how about Harvey Weinstein and his wife she's in it for the right reason And you're like hey son. I see what happened here. He sees it too. We can't believe I'm When they say I do they're like well, okay. Yeah, this is well you have a disgusting troglodyte type you know just gelatinous looking job of the hut looking man and A beautiful hot young wife because the guys got fucking cajillions. That's a normal thing and they're both enters Put up any pictures But they're both going those folks there was we're both going into that knowing like hey look this isn't a traditional or parents Maybe he was really sweet with her, and that's all she needs Maybe she's just this rare soul that if he had five dollars in his pocket. She'd be super happy with them That could be fucking down it. I would doubt it as well. It is like a motherfucker I don't know it fucking doubt it yes. It's a preposterous union in the first place It's listen. There's some relationships that you could define as legal prostitution They are absolutely legal prostitution a woman has made a determination that she will let this sloth Yes fluid into her vagina On an intermittent basis if she could be bathed in diamonds and drive a Ferrari and live in a mansion This is a normal part of life some people would say and I might even say like as long as they're consenting And they're both aware that's going on then Well that would be a good argument for prostitution as well though wouldn't it's a bit of a transaction. I guess I don't know It's a transaction. Yeah, I guess sure sure I guess when you look down at it. It's right that way I've always said why is it okay to give some of a massage you give some massage? You can't you can't even jerk them off It's not legal That's weird the government decides who can touch your penis and like if the massage therapist said hey I really enjoy giving you a massage. Let's go somewhere afterwards of my own free will I'll jerk you off Be like that'd be fine. That's fine. Yeah, you're right You just can't do it right in the confines of the massage parlor unless it's a public health issue I imagine like if loads smell like gunshots, and you were You go to massage power. It's supposed like a shooting range like fuck is going on this place. This is a dirty massage Imagine load smell Jesus the devil's coming boy the devil purify that man Yeah, I mean there's a lot of laws that are ridiculous But there's there seems to be someone here is the marriage advice. I'm looking for I Got it maybe it was what we were talking about earlier Maybe it's long form conversations having long conversations with each other I have a long respect like respecting the fact that you can't get through some of this stuff in a very short time I've I've always said like I appreciate a nice road trip for that reason. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you're hanging out with each other for long periods of time Yeah, I'd like I'd much rather the stress of an airport with a kid and a wife is not I'd much rather just drive it Mm-hmm take the time because you get this like Connection if you can get the phones out of the way. Yeah for the passengers You just get this connection that you wouldn't get otherwise. Yeah doing things together that are unique that that helps You know, yeah experiencing things together But also you also have to both have the mindset that you enjoy each other's company Yeah, and you want to make it work good. Yeah, some people just don't man And this is me involved seen that happen, right? We've all seen relationships where the girls just like check, please. Yeah, the guys like baby. I'm different But it's a 50 like you said it's a 50-50 thing so like you have been married for quite some time and We were talking about prior to when we were shooting our bows out there Like you're you know Like there's things you've done to make it work Like you like your wife and she likes you and it works and it's been working for a long time And like the percentages say that's that's what you say 50-50 is It's Chris Rock had a great joke about it. He said he was 50% of the people leave he goes he goes But how many cowards just stay? Look relationships don't always work. But here's the thing. You don't always know who the fuck you are. Yeah, and I'm a different person than I was five years ago. Yeah, I just am yes I guess hope I'm a better person. I'm trying very hard to be a better person. I certainly know more about myself I understand myself better. This is a long slow Process. I think we are all a work in progress. That's right and not everybody engages in this work So you could be a person who's on this path of You know Being present and and trying to be kinder and trying to improve and then you have a spouse Male or female that just shits on you and I've seen that too man. I've seen me to really brutal toxic relationships where they insult and say rude things around your friends to try to fuck with you and and People get into these these relationships where they genuinely hate each other But they're stuck together and what that does the children too because I I tell my dad I wrote my dad this letter recently This is getting real deep now or number three of the podcast we get real deep We're pro nuance. I Even sent it to my dad, but he won't listen to this but I wrote this letter that was like listen, man Because I bought I had seen recently like his developing relationship with my son And like it shot it put this Thought in my head that you know my relationship my dad the kids caring for me the fact that he stayed with my mom then they developed this like place for me to grow and nurtured me and allowed me to Become a person in that environment like there was a north star for me when then I left that environment like I always I never Wondered what my path was gonna be I always could look up and be like that bond that I developed my family their love for me is like the thing that I'm always You know, I'm looking back to but also looking forward to because that's what defines me and regardless of what I do I can always fall back on that that my dad loves me. My mom loves me I love them and I grew up like with this strength of soul because I knew I don't have I have friends that Came from the same place that I did same town. I did in Maryland That OD don't heroin they live in the same little suburb suburbia community that I did They had parents that were the same age. They went to the same high school. They lived in the same Environment they went down one way. I went down another and I truly do feel that that me going down that way was the way that my parents Like built this structure around me that was always around that bond and that love and the things that that's very very fortunate