Ari & The Pelicans - JRE Toon

The levels of douchebag-ishness that it takes to boom. Oh my god. Sports fans, the worst. They're the worst. They're the worst. You name them after your town, that means the town owns you. It's not the fucking LA Rogans. You know? It's the fucking LA Lakers. And they're putting out a shitty product. Yeah. God damn it. Fuck off liquor fans. How's your season been these last couple years? Wow. What team are you? It doesn't even matter. The point is the Lakers suck. Oh, OK. I'm a Pells fan. We made the second round for the first time in history. What is that? Pelicans, New Orleans, Pelicans. How did you get to be a fan of the Pelicans? Because they started in North Carolina when I was there, then they moved. And then they changed their goddamn name. It's all a mess, but that's my team since day one. A team called the Pelicans. Not me. They're the wife of the guy who owns it. He owns a good franchise as a fucking billionaire smart guy who makes up a fucking living for himself. And he's like, oh, trophy wife, you want to name the team? That all these men have to fucking support? Wow. Is that really what happened? Yeah, that's what happened. Dude, you're very empathetic. It's fucking ridiculous. Very upset. What would you have called it if you were his child? Anything else. The Bath Matts is a better fucking name than the Pelicans. I had to research all the time about, like, vicious Pelican behavior so I could get behind a little bit. They are vicious, though. They'll eat ducks whole. They'll eat ducks whole. They'll go down there and see if they can do a duck, and they'll go fuck off. I just fucking eat one. I'm sure we could watch that. Oh, it's great. I'm sure we're going to watch Pelican Eats a Duck now. But no one thinks of that. What do you think of a Pelican? No. You think of, like, a cute thing that brings babies. Yeah, yeah. Let's start. They bring babies. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. All right, it's eating the duck. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back that up. Back it. You're just getting it. Look at this one. Oof. Oh. Swallow the whole duck. That is fucking insane, dude. Oh, the other duck's trying to drive him off. The other duck's mad. Like, come on, give me back my friend. Come on. Ah, damn it. He's down. Look, he's just swallowing him. He's in the stomach. One more time. Let me see that again.