$600 Million Art Collection Up For Sale After Divorce

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Kurt Metzger

6 appearances

Kurt Metzger is a stand-up comic, writer, and host of the "Can't Get Right with Kurt Metzger" podcast. His latest special, "30 Minutes with Kurt Metzger," is available on YouTube. www.kurtmetzgercomedy.com

Kyle Dunnigan

3 appearances

Kyle Dunnigan is a standup comedian, podcaster, actor, and the co-creator of "Fresh Prez of DC," a satirical comedy series on YouTube. He is also host of "The Kyle Dunnigan Show".

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Transcript

Dude, there's this couple that's getting divorced and they have 600 million dollars worth of art. It is the biggest single art collection that's ever going up for auction. And there's one painting that they have on the wall that is a 2007 painting by some person I've never heard of. I obviously don't know much about modern art in particular. And it's worth, I think, 40 to 60 million dollars. That's it. That is 40, yeah, 40 to 60 million bucks. It's a fucking splatter. You know what that looks like, Kyle? That looks like a good pussy's background. That does. Yes. Look at this. It says, How... Cy Twomby's untitled work from 2007 has an estimate of 40 to 60 million courtesy of Sotheby's. What in the fuck are you talking about? Did you imagine? 40 to 60 million dollars is an insane house on a massive piece of land. Are they able to say, like, what about that is good? With Ferraris. This is like the original NFTs, guys. Come on. But this is so crazy. Like, for 40 to 60 million dollars, you should have a fucking insane house, a private jet, a Ferrari, a Mercedes, a crazy game room... Dude, I'm gonna have just a shit... Full bar, movie theater... It's a good toilet. I'm gonna have just a shitty house and a one... that painted. Nothing else would be nice and I just had that. I mean, fucking imagine. Just imagine that that's worth 60 million dollars. Please don't look at any of the other images. I just want to concentrate on the other one, Jimmy. I don't know what that is. That's Pinocchio. The other one is Pinocchio's head. They found Pinocchio's skeleton. Scroll down. Is that true? Look at that. That's worth a billion dollars. That's the actual Pinocchio. What is that? Lion. Fuck. It's a frame. He's lying about Marilyn Monroe and that. The whole thing is so insane. That painting is so insanely bad. Does anyone try to explain why it's good? Does anyone try to say... I can make that. I know. I cannot do what I want to do. I know why it's good because it's a huge canvas. It's all about how big the canvas is. That doesn't make any sense. There's no sense to this. There's zero sense to that being worth 40 to 60 million dollars. I don't give a fuck who made it. I don't give a fuck where he's from, where he went to school, who he mentored under. Fuck you, eat shit. That's not 40 million dollars. I could see it being worth 35 million. I think it's worth 3500. It's worth 3500 bucks. Steve Martin would be able to tell you if it's good or not. Is he an art... That's his big thing. Yeah? Yeah. But that doesn't matter. This is only worth what people are willing to pay for it. I guess some people are willing to pay for it because this gentleman, Thai Twambi, is apparently a very famous artist, which I get. Okay, that's fine. But there's no way I can do that. Like the whole art thing is such a bizarre status thing. I was at an agent's house once, in Aspen's, amazing house. And I was over this guy's house like, wow, this house is crazy. Like how much does the agents make? All those things. It's like he's just robbing people. And I'm in his house and I see this thing that's framed. And it's like this big and it's like tissue paper and like color. And I go, is this like something his kid made? And he goes, no, that's a bull. Like that's $30,000. I remember going, what the fuck are you talking about? Oh, is that it? Dude, you know how Buddy of Mine is similar. A lot of these guys. I can do that. My 11-year-old can fuck that up. She can do so much better than that. Dude, my friends and artists who started out, you know, a lot of them started with graffiti people. Like in New York, like Boss Gout was one of those graffiti people that became out. So my buddies, I didn't realize how much his stuff went for. Like he offered me a painting and I was like, I just wanted one. And I was like, I think it was worth like 30 grand when I looked up. I couldn't believe it. 30 grand? Yeah, I don't get the pricing on that. He's a good artist. I mean, he's really good artist, but I was shocked at like what the art world. Look at this one, Jamie, that I just sent you. And tell me how much you think this one's worth. This is, tell me. Let's play. How much is it worth? Let's see how close it is to me. I just want. Let's see if Kurt and I can see who's better at guessing. Just take a wild guess. Okay. I'm going to, that's very good under boob drawing there and some good hip action. I don't say it's worth a lot. That looks like an art school sketch pad from an art institute where I went to school. $10 million. How much do you think it's worth, Kurt? I don't, that looks like somebody's sketched me from, I don't think a lot. I think like $30. $30? $10 million. $10 million. My 11 year old made that. Oh, I'll give you $30. I paid $10 million for that. So this is how crazy it is. That's very good. She's very talented. No, it is good. And that's an 11 year old girl who drew that off the top of her head. But that's not splotches on a thing. That's why I knew it wasn't going to be worth a lot of money. But it's still even like that kind of sketch with the right artist is probably worth a preposterous amount of money. Wait, how old is she? She's 11. She might have been 10 when she made that. Oh, that's very appropriate. She might have been 10 when she made that. She's really talented. I don't like how Kurt said that. But imagine, imagine that you like that splatter, show that other image before, which is probably worth like $50 million. I was just looking at some of his other work. How much is that worth? Sotheby's. How much is that worth? Well, I know what that was. Please tell us. I know what that was. Hey. This fucking guy. Is that Ty Twombly? He's dead. I was trying to find his other stuff. Oh, he's dead. That's why. Yeah. Ty's dead. What's that, $20 million in that scribble? Oh, it's Psy. C-Y. Psy Twombly. Yeah, look what he wrote. Imagine making a living doing that. Like you go, my husband's an amazing artist. You go, oh, wow. That's cool. I bet you his name has a lot. Because first of all, that's a very good name. Psy Twombly. That just seems like a catchy art name. This has been explained to me by friends that are artists. This is what happens. When you bring your stuff to a gallery and then a big time collector buys it, someone who comes in and goes, I want this. This is amazing. And this is this incredible new artist. His name is Psy Twombly. He's incredible. And then this one person who's in the know decides that it's good. And then other people start buying your stuff too. And then it becomes more valuable because you only have so many pieces. And if they're big pieces, like big, huge pieces, even though it looks like dog shit, it's worth even more. That's why that piece is worth $40 to $60 million. It spawned a lot of people in LA to be, probably other places too, where I know a couple of artists, but they have no training, they just scribble like that. But they're not going to be a- You never know. Well, I guess. Imagine. What's their name? Psy Twombly? I don't want to say. No, now they don't. What the fuck is that? Like, it's a Psy Twombly. Oh, it must be like a big- If it's a Kurt Medskir, people are going to go, phwombly. It's not, yeah, it doesn't have the same. Psy Twombly is an amazing scribble name. It's not a bad scribble name. But that stuff's not good, objectively. It's got to be the last thing you buy with all your money. Maybe you would think, once you have your stuff, then you go, I have so much money left. There's people that are like these hedge fund fucks that are worth just billions and billions of dollars of nonsense money. They're moving money around, and they're making money, moving money. Yeah, you put it into some. And don't they have a place, some airport where it's all- Where they stack it? It's in that movie. What's the time travel movie that- Born in America? It's in Tenet. They rob that vault where they keep really expensive kind of paintings like Saudi Princes keep. So nobody sees them. They're just in this vault. They're at some airport. But in Tenet, I think that was a real place they were, where rich people keep their art.