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Brian Simpson is a comedian, writer, host of the “Bottom of the Barrel” comedy show at The Comedy Mothership, and his own podcast, “BS with Brian Simpson.” His most recent special, “Live from The Comedy Mothership,” is streaming on Netflix. https://www.netflix.com/title/81684893 https://www.youtube.com/@bswithbriansimpson https://www.briansimpsoncomedy.com
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Dan Flores, Coyote America: A Natural and Supernatural History
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success
Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
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Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Do you gotta get new glasses?
No, I just have different pair for different stuff.
Did they get stronger?
No.
No?
I just have a...
Did you always have glasses?
Like, do you have an eyeball issue?
Yeah, I got a stigmatism.
Okay.
But I got one for driving and one for my computer.
I used to have to use reading glasses.
Oh, yeah?
Then I started using red light.
Red light therapy.
And I think that...
The first thing I started doing is taking...
This company, Pure Encapsulation, has this...
It's called macular support.
It's like a combination of nutrients that help your eyeballs.
I don't know how.
But I explained it to Huberman.
He read it off to me and he's like, this makes sense.
But then the big one was red light.
I started using red light therapy.
I don't need glasses anymore.
What?
Yeah, my eyes aren't perfect.
Like, in low light, they're not so good.
Like, in a dark restaurant, I have to use the flashlight on my thing to read a
menu.
But I don't need glasses anymore.
Oh, so I've been wondering that.
Is it that I'm getting older or are they just using darker light in the
restaurants?
They definitely use dark light in restaurants.
I don't...
I mean, young people can still read it.
Like, I've gone to restaurants with my kids and they can read in the dark.
I'm like, you can read that?
I can't read it.
But, like, small print.
Like, on my phone, like, reading an email, I didn't used to be able to read it.
And now I can read it perfectly.
Oh, see, now...
I'm in that age now where I've got to start.
Switching.
Switching glasses.
Different.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Listen, dude, I'm just happy you're alive.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know.
You know, man, I've always...
People don't know what we're talking about.
You had a heart attack.
Yes, I had a heart attack three months ago.
Yeah.
Super Bowl weekend.
Yeah.
In Atlanta.
Yeah.
Out of nowhere.
Well, was it really out of nowhere?
Not really.
You know, like...
It's not like you were a marathon runner.
Right, right.
Exactly.
But I was sitting there, you know, honestly, I was sitting there thinking...
Because I remember the doctor...
Because, you know, we really are...
Like, we've set ourselves up.
We kind of deal with trauma and not...
I mean, you can argue about whether it's healthy or not.
But our first go-to is humor.
Right.
And I remember the doctor getting upset with me.
Like, the surgeon, the lady that was about to...
She was about to put a stent.
So, you know, I'm sitting there and she was like,
Hey, something very serious just happened to you.
You know?
Yeah.
Because I was just talking.
You know, I was...
But it was just how I was just coping.
You know?
Right, right.
She was not happy about it.
Did you tell her that's how I deal with things?
No, I was already all drugged up and shit.
You know?
Because it was one of the things where I think, like, you can't...
They can't put you out completely.
Like, it's not that kind of anesthesia.
Oh, okay.
But I think they need you to be conscious, kind of, in case something goes
wrong.
Right.
But whatever the fuck they put me on, I don't remember any of it.
And you were joking around and she was upset.
Yeah.
What happened was, when I got to the hospital, the doctor that first saw me was
like...
I forget his name.
But he was like, hey, I'm Doug.
And don't worry about anything.
I'm going to be with you the whole time.
You know?
And then maybe 20 minutes later, you know, they wheeling me in.
They drugging me up.
And I'm like, hey, where the fuck is Doug?
You know?
And they're like, who's Doug?
I was like, he promised me that he wasn't going to leave.
And obviously, I was just joking.
I know, like, he was just saying that so I would calm down or whatever.
Right, right.
I don't know why Doug thought he would bring me comfort.
But I fake made a big deal of the fact that I felt abandoned by Doug.
And she didn't think it was funny.
Oh.
But somebody did.
And that's all I needed was to laugh.
I'm like, it's you, bitch.
It's not me.
You're the problem.
You're too serious in here.
Well, why would she need you to be serious if you're getting a stent put in?
Wouldn't that make it work better?
I mean, to be fair, I think my whole life people have said as serious as a
heart attack.
And I feel like if you dedicated your life to that, you're probably a serious
person.
I don't know any other heart surgeons, but I bet they are pretty uptight.
Yeah, they have to be.
It's life or death with every decision that they make, right?
I guess.
They got to get it in on time, right?
Like, if they're going to put a stent in you, if they're going to do something.
Like, if you're one of those people, like you are, that if you didn't address
this, you would have died.
Right.
So, that's one of those things that's time critical.
So, I guess with those people, like, hey, stop fucking around.
Like, in their mind, like, I got to save you.
I got to figure out what has to be done within a certain amount of time and get
you on the road to recovery.
Because if I don't, you're dead.
You know what?
Something else I remember.
And this was just flashbacks.
I only remember, like, these couple seconds.
Is she kept yelling at me because I kept moving my hands.
So, basically, like, I'm laid down like this.
And they want you to keep your hands right by your side.
And I just remember I kept coming to with her being like, hey, keep your hands.
She might have said, keep your fucking hands down.
I don't know, though.
I don't know.
I ain't going to make no accusations.
But she was clearly upset about it.
But I'm like, bitch, I'm on drugs you gave me.
I'm not doing it on purpose.
Apparently, my default response, because they have to put a stent in,
but they go through your groin.
Yikes.
So, you know, so apparently, like, my default response is to protect my dick.
Right.
Like, I'm waking up.
Somebody's fucking around down there.
You know?
It's like, why don't y'all tie me down if it's that important?
Why don't you tie my hands down?
Right.
But maybe they can't.
I don't know.
I don't know what else is going on.
And medical people are real sensitive about criticism.
You know, some of them are really like, we save lives.
How dare you?
And it's like, all right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some of y'all are still assholes, though.
Well, they don't have the best sense of humor.
They can't.
Like, that's not the way you...
If you want to be a really good doctor, you can't be also a stand-up comedian.
Well, see, the nurses have a sense of humor.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Nurses are fun.
They might as well be different species.
Yeah.
Nurses are fun.
Like, nurses come in.
They joke around with you.
They fuck around.
Like, some of them do, at least.
Yeah.
Some of them kill you.
Let's be honest.
In Atlanta, the nurses were incredibly attractive.
Like, there was hot nurses everywhere.
Damn.
Like, nurses, and it's something about, like, vet techs.
Like, working at the ladies working at the vet hospitals.
Yeah.
It's something about going into that field.
I don't know what it is.
Vet techs, you mean veterinarians?
Yeah, like veterinarians.
Yeah.
But not the doctors.
Right.
Just the nurses.
Just the nurses.
Well, they're people who love animals.
Sweet people.
Oh, yeah.
And money.
They love animals and money.
I, nobody...
Well, the nurses don't usually love money.
If they did, they wouldn't get into that profession.
But the veterinarian hospital certainly loves money.
The administration.
Speaking of which, I can't decide which pisses me off more is, like, when I get
the bill at the human hospital or when...
Because at the vet hospital, I feel like they...
I feel like they're extorting me.
Ooh.
You know?
Like, when I got the bill from this hospital, I was like, God damn.
But I was in there and they were...
Because they didn't walk up to me while, like, before the surgery and go, what's
it going to be?
Right.
But when it's your pet, that's what they do.
Right.
We could do this life-saving thing, which is the best thing to do, but it's way
more money than you have.
Or, you know, you can be a piece of shit pet owner and get the $20 thing.
Yeah.
They're trying to get you to take out a loan, all that.
Just really turn the screws.
That's awful.
Yeah.
I don't know when the last time you had to do some serious shit for your pet.
Pretty recently.
Marshall swallowed a bunch of rocks.
Oh, God damn.
Yeah.
He...
We...
Someone spilled chicken food on the gravel and he ate all the chicken food and
just kept eating and started eating gravel.
Oh, my God.
He's retarded.
He's the sweetest boy.
He's the sweetest, sweetest dog that's ever walked to face the earth, but he is
not clever.
And so we bring him inside.
No one knows.
No one knows anything that happened.
And then he starts throwing up and he's throwing up rocks, like little pebbles.
And then he starts getting diarrhea and he's diarrhea and pebbles.
I'm like, oh, no.
And then we put two and two together.
We figured out what happened.
And so then I had to take him to the vet.
So I took him to the vet and he had to stay there overnight.
And luckily, they didn't have to do surgery.
They pumped it out of it.
They somehow or another got the rocks out of his stomach and they had to keep
scanning it to make sure there's no rocks remaining in there.
And so he passed all the rocks.
He either threw them up or shit them out.
And then within a certain amount of time, I think he was there for...
He was there for at least 24 hours.
But after a certain amount of time, he started eating and then they weren't
worried about him anymore.
That dog fucking eats.
He just...
All he wants to do is eat.
He gets so excited.
Oh, yeah.
All he wants to do is...
It's like, I want every morsel of flavor out this dirt.
It's so crazy.
He kept eating rocks.
I mean, he ate pounds of gravel.
It wasn't like a small amount of gravel.
It was the amount of gravel that was in my living room on the carpet was crazy.
Oh, wow.
Out of throw up and just diarrhea.
It was everywhere.
It was a crime scene.
I bet you he won't do that shit again.
Oh, yeah, he will.
He will.
He'll do it tomorrow.
Dude, that dog doesn't learn shit.
He's the best.
Like, he's a sweet dog.
I love him so much.
I love him so much.
He's just all love.
Every time I see him, he's just wagging his tail.
I get down on the ground with him.
He kisses me.
I hug him.
I rub his belly.
He's the best.
But he is not.
That used to be a wolf.
That's what's so fucked up about human beings.
We took something that's the most clever, most...
They communicate with each other.
They plan traps on animals.
They're so clever.
You can't...
And also, you can't train them.
You know that about wolves?
You can't train them.
That's why you don't see wolves in the fucking circus.
You cannot train.
You could train a bear.
You could train a lion.
You could train a tiger.
Wolves just go, fuck you.
I'm going to do exactly what I want to do.
But not dogs.
Certainly not my dog.
Like, Marshall, he's the sweetest.
Like, he was so easy to train.
See, that's wild.
Because you can train a lion, but you can't train a house cat.
You can't train a...
Well, you could train house cats to do certain things.
Like, some people have trained their house cat to shit in the toilet.
No, Joe, there's a video of, like, I don't want to show you, she's Russian.
She's a Russian lady.
She's, like, the world champion cat training lady.
And she's getting these cats to do a whole bunch of shit.
But every now and then...
They do what they want.
They just do what the fuck they want.
Yeah, that's true.
You can't get them to do it, like, a really good dog will.
Like, a Belgian Malinois that's a soldier.
No, absolutely not.
Just does every task you ask them to.
That's impossible.
Absolutely not.
But with wolves, you can't train them to do anything.
They won't listen.
I didn't know that.
They don't listen to you at all.
I had a friend who had wolves.
He had, like, seven-eighth timber wolves.
And they got out and killed a bunch of his neighbor's sheep.
Like, you couldn't stop them from doing anything they wanted to do.
Whatever they wanted to do.
Why did he have a pack of wolves?
He's an idiot.
He had three of them.
I was like, you don't have these dogs.
You just feed them.
You don't...
This is not, like, a dog.
No.
They don't listen to you.
And you have a house with a yard.
Like, that's crazy.
Like, you should have, like, an enormous piece of land.
And even then, if you have wolves, they're going to kill everything they've run
across.
Yeah, they need miles of space.
Yeah.
They're cardio machines.
They run through the mountains.
They chase down moose.
That's why I get so irritated when, because I'm in an apartment now, and I'm in
one of those, I don't know what the fuck is going on with my building, but it's
full of dog people.
Like, the building is for dog people.
There's a dog wash.
All of the grass around it is all fake, and there's fucking shit bags every 10
feet.
And the front of the building, from, like, noon to 4 p.m., it's always just the
strongest scent of dog piss because 50 people have walked their dogs around it.
And that's fine.
I don't mind that at all.
But what irritates me is when I see, because I know I have the biggest
apartment in the building, and I know that I don't have room for, like, I don't
have the room for, like, a blue, like, a blue healer.
And it's like, you see motherfuckers with dogs like that, where it's like, yo,
that dog needs to be running miles every day.
Why do you got that big-ass dog?
Oh, yeah, well, I saw a damn, I saw a Cane Corso.
That's crazy.
It's like, you got a Cane Corso in a 1,300 square foot apartment?
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
And here's the other thing.
I don't see that motherfucker every day.
So, you skipping days?
This motherfucker needs to hurt things or...
He needs to have exercise.
It's like having an MMA fighter living in your house.
Like, you better take him to the fucking gym.
Oh, yeah.
Because people always...
He's going to blow off steam.
When people find out that I have a cat, they're always like, oh, so your
apartment smells like a cat?
No.
No.
But you know whose places always smell bad?
It's people that have a dog that's too fucking big to be in the place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, they probably can't wash it right.
Like, what are you going to do?
Do you get in the shower with it?
I used to get in the shower with my dogs.
I bring Marshall to a groomer, but my dog, Johnny, he used to love to get in
the shower with me.
Really?
Yeah.
He was a big Mastiff, and he loved it because it was just massages and love in
the shower.
I'd just cover him with shampoo, and I would talk nice to him.
I'd go, oh, we're getting so clean, buddy.
He'd give me kisses.
We're getting so clean.
The thing about seeing their human with no clothes, I think they lock, because
my cat does it.
She loves to come in the bathroom whenever she knows I'm naked, or she has a
shower running,
and she just sit there and watch.
It's probably weird to them that you could take your clothes off.
I mean, you know, I think it's weird to them that you wear clothes at all.
Oh, for sure.
They're like, what?
Yeah, what are you doing?
Why are you under the sheets all the time?
Yeah.
And I've softened my stance on people that put clothes on their animals, but I'm
like, they don't like it.
Well, some dogs, like chihuahuas in the winter, it's a good idea.
It's like 30 degrees out, put a little sweater on.
The dog likes it.
No, the dog likes that you like it.
They like pleasing you, but they don't want clothes on.
They don't, but if you have like a little dog, like a chihuahua, for instance,
they get really cold.
Those guys, if you put a little sweater on them, they feel better outside.
It just makes sense.
It's warm.
But okay, then go all the way then.
Where the boots at?
Bleh.
I'm going to wear boots in the summer because of like New York City, like the
street gets so hot.
Oh, yeah.
Like if you think about how hot the street gets, if it's 98 degrees outside.
It was like broken glass.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you're just walking on hot rocks.
Right.
But also, what are you doing with that big ass dog in New York City?
That's true.
There are no apartments.
Why you got a Great Dane out here in New York?
I mean, I would have to make a choice.
Like if for some reason I had to move to New York City, I'm not getting rid of
my dog and I'm not leaving my dog here.
You can't be rid of your dog.
There's no chance.
Not a chance in hell.
So I would just have to commit to a lifestyle of taking that dog out to like
Central Park every day, doing things with him every day.
I would have to make a choice.
Bro.
I would have to live near the park for sure.
Like for me to get rid of my cat, it would have to be like.
They'd have to die.
They'd have to die or it would have to be something where like I am absolutely
not capable of, you know, like I can't move.
Right.
You know, something crazy like that.
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
When I tried to, when I moved out here from Cali, like she can't fly.
Oh, so did you drive her across the country?
I paid somebody to.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, me, that would, that would be a fuck.
Actually, I didn't have a car at the time, but that would be a nightmare.
This is the most stubborn, like this creature, like I have a hard time getting
her.
I've taken her to three groomers.
They've all been like, you got to come get her.
Because she don't, she doesn't like to be restrained in any way.
Yeah.
And at the slightest sign that you're thinking about holding her down or
putting her in something, she will fight with everything she got.
Is she a feral cat?
No.
Well, she might have been.
Would you get her?
I got her.
The story the lady told me, it doesn't really add up.
But basically, she was, a divorce happened.
This family had two cats and a dog.
And then the wife got the house and started fostering animals.
And then my cat's brother, who, so her and her brother were the original cats.
My cat's brother started, basically like joined this pack of cats against,
because Millie don't socialize at all.
But her brother kind of turned on her.
Game of Thrones.
Yeah.
And so since then, she was just hostile at everybody.
Wow.
All the animals, I mean.
And so when I came to get her, all these animals were in this lady's house,
except Millie.
She was in the garage.
And they had a little post, and she was in the garage.
And when I came to take her, she was so down to go.
She was like, fuck all them people.
Fuck my brother.
Fuck this.
But she likes you.
Oh, yeah.
She loves me.
She still, to this, she follows me from room to room.
Oh, well, that's sweet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's some cats that just choose one person, too.
She also hates me, too.
She hates you?
I think she hates.
She probably had bad experiences.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's just, she's got some kind of trauma that I'll never know about.
You got to give her some kitty cat ayahuasca.
Bro, I've had to put her on CBD and shit before we go to the vet.
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Do you ever put her in catnip?
You ever give her a catnip?
Oh, yeah, sometimes.
Does she get high and roll around and get freaky?
She loves it.
What is it?
It's so weird.
What does cat, it works on every cat.
I've never seen a cat where it doesn't work on.
Imagine, I mean, if there's shit like that for people.
Oh, yeah.
You just give someone.
We got plenty of shit like that.
But I don't know if it gets them high.
I don't know what it's doing to them.
So then?
Well, let's find out.
I really have no idea what the mechanism of...
Let's put this into perplexity.
All right, Jeremy, you already did it.
What's perplexity?
Catnip is an aromatic...
Perplexity is our AI sponsor, Brian.
Really?
Yes, we have an AI sponsor.
Oh, shit, okay.
It's the shit.
It's not ideologically captured.
Catnip is an aromatic herb in the mint family whose leaves and stems contain a
chemical...
How do you say that word?
Nep...
Nepetala...
Want to try that, Jamie?
I'm going to say nepetalactone.
Nepetala...
I think you're right.
Nepetalactone.
That triggers playful or euphoric behavior in many cats.
Many cats?
Interesting.
I thought it was all cats.
Plant is native to Eurasia, now common across temperate regions, and is easy to
grow in North
America, often in gardens or pots.
Why cats react to it?
Catnip contains an oil whose main active compound is nepetalactone, a type of
terpene produced
in glands on the leaves and stems.
When the cats smell nepetalactone, it binds to receptors in their nose and
stimulates brain
pathways linked to mood, leading to behaviors like rolling, rubbing, purring,
meowing, jumping,
or brief zoomies.
Only about two-thirds.
Oh, okay.
Eighty percent of cats are sensitive to catnip.
The tendency is genetic.
The effect usually lasts five to 15 minutes, after which they become
temporarily immune
for a while.
Interesting.
Is it safe?
For most cats, catnip is considered non-toxic and safe, and many vets recommend
it as an enrichment
to encourage play and reduce boredom or stress.
Eating a small amount is usually fine and may soothe the digestive tract, but
large amounts
can cause short-lived stomach upset, vomiting, diarrhea, or dizziness.
Your cat's just fucking a fiend.
Oh shit, you're only supposed to give a pinch?
I don't know.
That's what it say down there.
Only a pinch.
Oh, here it goes.
Because of this, people typically offer just a pinch of dried or fresh...
How much do you give your cat?
Bro.
I don't fuck to her world.
Oh my God.
You give her a fat bag?
You give her a fat bag?
I just let her go at it, man.
You know what's funny, man?
My cat is very...
Like, I let her do what she wants.
You know, like, I let her...
She can go outside.
Like, you know, she's not an outdoor cat, but if she want to go out, I open the
door.
Because I make...
You know what it is?
I make sure outside is not some mystery place that she...
If she want to go, I open the door and let her go, and then she get cold or
hear something
and run back in the house, because that way she's not, like, just dying to go
out there all the time.
Right, right, right.
I'm not worried about her running away.
I worry about coyotes, man.
When you let cats out, man, coyotes are fucking...
I mean, they target your house.
They know where the cats are.
They know the cats that get let out.
Yeah, but it's like, nothing comes near my building, because it just smells
like...
It smells like 50 dogs live there.
Yeah, but they eat dogs, too.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, my daughter's puppy got eaten by a coyote in California.
Guy was training, and he left the puppy outside and got eaten by coyotes.
But I haven't seen no coyotes.
Oh, I've seen them.
Also, but here's the other thing, too.
My girl is, you know, she takes zero chances.
The slightest sign of danger.
She already got...
No, she got 50 spots to hide and run.
Oh, okay.
Like, she's never gotten into it with anything.
The thing about coyotes is they're predators, right?
And cats are predators, too.
But pets are different than wild animals.
Yeah, this bitch ain't no predator.
They're very different.
She'll bring a fucking mouse in the house.
Yeah, I mean, they kill stuff.
They kill stuff for fun.
But there's a difference between that and needing to eat.
And needing to, like, eat cats in order to survive, which is what coyotes do.
So coyotes know where the cats are.
They know the smell when cats are peeing outside.
So they know a cat lives in the house.
They know the cat pees outside.
They just hover nearby and wait because they know it's a matter of time before
the cat has to go outside.
You know what's funny, man?
I haven't seen the coyotes the whole time I've lived in Austin.
I think it's for three years now.
They hide.
I know.
I saw them all the time in L.A., though.
You'll see them.
They exist.
You know what it is?
I think it's that the ones out here aren't starving like the ones in L.A. were.
Right.
Because they get bolder and bolder the hungrier they get.
Well, the thing about Austin as opposed to L.A. is there's a lot of animals and
there's a lot of moisture.
Right.
So if you're outside of greater Austin area, like a lot of these coyotes, I see
them all the time out where I live because there's a lot of animals where I
live.
I see, like, foxes almost every day.
I see armadillos a couple times a week.
I see deer every day.
I always see, especially when I come home, I see foxes running across the road.
There's all kinds of animals.
So there's all kinds of things that coyotes eat.
A lot of rabbits, all kinds of things coyotes eat.
And so they don't have to come into the city.
Whereas in L.A., you've got L.A. and then everything around L.A. is just barren.
Right.
You know, it's all dry and fucked up.
And you might find a rabbit, but it's way easy to eat someone's cat.
And I think that every person doesn't realize how many coyotes are around them.
Oh, yeah.
Every major city, they're like raccoons.
They're in every city, everywhere.
There's a great book on it called Coyote America.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's really good.
And it's all about how coyotes, what happens is when they yell out, they're
doing like a roll call.
And when they're doing a roll call, they're letting all the other coyotes know
that they're there.
And when one of them is missing, the female coyotes assume that that coyote is
dead.
And so their body responds by making a larger litter.
What?
Yeah.
So they'll have more babies if someone's missing.
Damn, death makes them horny?
Well, it makes them have more children.
They always have children.
They're always horny, right?
But they, instead of having three pups, they'll have six.
And they spread out because they were persecuted by gray wolves.
Like, that's the whole deal.
And being gray wolves and red, so coyotes and red wolves mate with each other.
That's why you get what they call a coy wolf, but it really is, coyote is a
wolf.
It's a type of wolf, but they're not related to the gray wolves.
And gray wolves and coyotes don't mate.
So gray wolves, the ones that have them like Colorado and, you know, like
Montana, those wolves just eat coyotes.
They just kill them.
Like, they don't fuck around.
So there's no chance of becoming allies.
So those coyotes learned a long time ago when they start getting killed by
wolves, just spread out.
Just get the fuck out of there.
Keep moving.
That's why they're in 50 states.
They're in every city in the country now.
And that wasn't the case when I was a kid.
When I was a kid, like, I grew up in Massachusetts in my high school years.
There was no fucking coyotes.
Nobody, I never even heard of anybody seeing a coyote.
Yeah, me neither.
I never saw a coyote in my life until 1994 in, uh, I, do you remember in LA
they have those Oakwood Garden apartments?
It's like furnished apartments that they had in LA.
And, uh, I was driving to it.
It was like when I first moved there.
I didn't have an apartment yet.
When I first moved there, I was like, are those fucking dogs?
What are these dogs?
And I'm like, oh shit, those are coyotes.
I remember pulling the car over, looking at them like, this is weird.
These weird little wolves just wandering around the city.
Like, that's how you know you see in a coyote.
You're like, is that a dog?
Well, that was the first time.
And that was in 94.
But by the time, you know, we left in 2020, fucking they were everywhere.
I mean, everywhere.
Like, they expanded.
Yeah, they everywhere.
And now they're in New York City.
They find them in the middle of the fucking park.
They find them in the Bronx.
They're in abandoned buildings.
They're all over the place.
They're in Chicago.
Coyotes are all over the whole country.
When I was in L.A., one of the neighborhoods I lived in, I was like, I was in
the neighborhood Facebook group.
And there was a dude in there.
His name was Coyote.
The guy's name was Coyote.
He just wanted everybody to know that he loved Coyote so much.
And he would literally, he would defend Coyotes no matter what the fuck they
did.
Like, somebody would be in the Facebook group, hey, a Coyote fucking ate my dog
right out of my hands.
Watch out.
And this guy would be like, if anybody here harms that Coyote, they have to
answer to me.
Fuck your dog.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
I think his name was like, his name was like Coyote Jones or something like
that.
He was serious.
He was real serious.
Really into Coyotes.
He was, you know, everybody got their thing.
Wow.
They're an interesting animal, man.
It's really interesting in that book.
It was, it's all about.
You know who's, I just saw something about how raccoons are the next animal
that's being, you know, tamed or domesticated or whatever.
Oh, I believe that.
The ones in the city are starting to have like shorter snouts.
Oh, whoa.
Yeah, they're starting to look more like how wolves became bitch ass wolves
when they came around the fire.
They're basically, they're starting to get cuter.
Like dogs.
The ones closer to us are getting cuter because they know it gets them treated
better.
Wow.
The cuter, the cuter ones have more babies.
The same thing.
Wow.
I know.
And that's crazy.
Because I read somewhere that we haven't actually domesticated cats or not.
That makes sense.
Maybe domesticated isn't the word, but.
Never got them to the point where we did with dogs.
Exactly.
But raccoons are getting there.
That's so interesting.
Yeah.
Because, but it makes sense.
Like, did you ever hear about that Russian study they did with foxes?
Like how quickly you can domesticate a fox?
Oh, no.
I didn't know that you could do that.
It's really quick.
So, you start out with foxes and any fox that shows any aggress, you start out
with a bunch
of foxes, any fox that shows any aggression to a person, you kill it on the
spot.
Oh.
Bang.
Dead.
Fuck you.
Get all the ones that survive or ones that have no aggression towards people.
And then slowly their snouts get shorter and their ears start to flop.
And over the course of like 10 years, you got a totally different animal.
See if you can find that, Jim.
Why don't people do that?
Well, they did do that with this one study, but it was just to show how,
how quick things change, like given natural selection.
Like natural selection dictated that if you're a sweeter fox, you live.
If you show your teeth, they fucking shoot you in the head.
You know, and I'm sure Russian scientists are probably a little bit more
hardcore.
Oh, Chinese.
Here it is.
Dmitry Belov in Ludmilla Trout, the Russian fox domestication program is a long-term
experiment
in Novosibirsk, Siberia, that successfully bred domesticated silver foxes, a
form of red fox,
selecting specifically for tameness.
After over 60 years and dozens of generations, fox act like domesticated elite
pets, displaying
dog-like behaviors such as tail wagging, licking, and whining for attention.
So you can buy them?
Can you buy one of these foxes?
That's crazy.
See if there's a video.
Oh, you can get one for 9,000 bucks.
What?
Let's, oh, known for high energy and needing intensive care.
Yeah, you don't want that in your fucking 1,300 square foot apartment.
What makes them elite, though?
It is interesting, right?
What does that mean?
Does it look like AI?
Let's see.
It's, who knows nowadays, right?
Oh, look at this.
Lay's got a fox as a pet.
Oh, wow.
They're like little dogs.
That's crazy.
Oh, bro.
But the thing about foxes are, they are, like, playful in the wild.
Even wild foxes are playful with people.
Oh, this little guy's missing a foot.
Aw.
I don't know if those are wild.
I think it's just showing foxes.
These are just different foxes.
I don't think these are those foxes.
It's showing the info.
Right.
It's showing the info and then showing a bunch of different foxes.
But if you remember Grizzly Man, like that movie, the Werner Herzog movie.
So he was living in the middle of Alaska around these bears.
And the foxes would come and hang out with him.
And the foxes would, like, hang out in his tent.
They would play with him.
They stole his hat once and ran away with his hat.
And he was, like, chasing him, trying to get his hat back.
And the bears don't attack the foxes?
Well, they probably would if they could.
But foxes probably can get away.
I mean, they'd probably catch a fox slipping every now and then.
But mostly what they were looking for up there was salmon.
They were eating a lot of salmon.
And when bears get salmon, that's all they want.
Like, there's a crazy video that we've shown before of this guy.
And they're on the edge of a river.
And the salmon are running.
There's all these bears in there that are just, like, just gorging on salmon.
Which is why those coastal bears are so much bigger.
Like, Kodiak bears, like Alaska.
The reason why they're so much bigger is because they have access to salmon.
They have access to fish.
And all the other animals that are there, too.
But when there's a salmon run, that's all they want.
They just want to eat salmon.
So you're saying, like, if you give salmon to a bear that's never had salmon
before,
that's all it'll want after that?
No, that's not what I'm saying.
It's probably delicious.
I mean, that's why we like sashimi.
But I think the access is so easy.
They don't have to chase anything.
They just stand in the river.
It literally comes to them.
They just bite it out of the air.
You see how bears do that.
And bears are kind of lazy.
Like, if they can preserve energy, they will.
They just want to get fat for hibernation, right?
So they just want to eat as much as possible.
So the point is, like, when they're like that and they're just eating fish,
you don't even have to worry about them.
They're not even going to kill you.
So this dude is, like, sitting there.
He's got, like, a little lawn chair.
And this fucking giant bear just walks up besides him and sits down.
Like, sits down almost like a person.
And they're like, hey, get out of here.
Hey.
I mean, it is as close to him as you are to me.
And it might be 1,000 pounds.
I mean, this thing is fucking gigantic.
And you see the river behind him.
So you see all these bears that are just scooping salmon out of the river.
And what is the bear trying to tell him?
The bear doesn't give a fuck.
He just comes to sit down.
Like, he might be a stick or a person.
It doesn't matter.
It's eating salmon.
It's all right.
Like, watch this.
Look at this.
Look at this.
This dude's just sitting there with his fucking chair.
And this giant ass bear just comes next to him.
Look at the size of that thing.
But it's not interested in him at all.
It's not, like, playing coy.
It's not pretending.
It's not going to kill him.
Like, it doesn't care about him.
Like, it doesn't think that he's going to eat it.
That's for fuck sure.
Right?
So, it's like, he's just chilling.
Like, that might as well be...
Look at it.
He sits down like a person.
Bro, you know what it is about these motherfuckers is how fast they can go from
this to terrifying.
Yeah, to 45 miles an hour.
But look.
It's like, hey, get out of here.
Then it walks off.
It's like, all right.
Not looking for any trouble.
Just hanging out.
It's amazing that the thing listens to him.
But it's also amazing that he's not freaked out.
I guess he's taking a photo.
So, in that video, you see there's a ton of bears that are just hanging out in
that stream.
They just lay...
And they don't fight with each other either during those situations because
they know there's so much salmon.
There's enough for everybody.
So, like, if one of them kills a moose, right?
The other ones will come over and try to steal it from them.
Fuck you.
That's my moose.
And they'll...
Because there's only one food source.
But on these rivers, there's just constant fish coming out.
So, they're just grabbing them and eating them.
And they're fucking gigantic because of that.
We don't know shit about these animals, man.
We know a little.
You know, I just saw some shit about Florida.
So, they have a serious snake problem now.
Like, I think it's...
Pythons.
Yeah, it's pythons.
And...
How did the dude on?
Python cowboy.
He gave us a head.
Where is that head?
Do you know where that head is?
Well, yeah.
Well, they...
So, they...
They've been trying to catch...
So, apparently, it came from the 80s and the 90s.
It was like a big python pet boom.
And then...
It was a research center that got hit by a hurricane.
Right.
That's what I was about to say.
The hurricane came.
They released it into the wild.
Now, it's a problem.
And they tried paying hunters to get them.
And they tried to training dogs to find them.
And nothing is good enough.
But then, they made...
They made robot rabbits.
You see this?
Yeah.
They made robot rabbits.
And they made them...
They put them in these boxes.
And they generated fake body heat.
And the scent of rabbits and everything.
And it did attract...
It did pull the snakes.
But it pulled everything else, too.
So, what ended up happening is...
The snake's only natural predator was alligators.
And the alligators was fucking these things up.
And the snakes purposely avoid the alligators.
So, it ended up having the opposite effect.
The snakes stayed away.
And the alligators were fucking these boxes up.
Oh, wow.
And it was almost a complete waste.
But then, one of the nerds...
As they were about to shut the whole fucking thing down...
He noticed in the data...
That...
What they actually found out...
So, they plugged it into AI.
And the AI did this whole fucking map...
Of all the data.
Because, apparently, before every attack...
Those boxes were still tracking movement.
And everything was going on.
And they found out that...
The animals have highways.
So, it's not that the snakes were in random places.
It's that the snakes and the alligators...
Were using these highways...
That only they could smell.
Of the quickest ways to get through the Everglades.
And stuff like that.
And so, they were able...
So, now they just...
They know where they are.
And they know how they get from one part of the swamp to the other.
Wow.
And they didn't...
So, we learned something.
We still don't know what the fuck to do about the pythons.
They used to...
Dogs a lot.
Where the dogs find the eggs.
Well, they trained these two dogs specifically.
But they got to the point where it's like...
You know, it's just so much ground to cover.
Two dogs ain't gonna do it.
Because that's the problem with the pythons.
I mean, we could wipe them out if we want it.
I don't think we can.
The Everglades are so big.
Well, that's my point.
We can't...
The cost of doing it...
We just haven't found a way where we can do it where it doesn't cost just a
crazy amount of money.
But you think about all the money they do spend shit on.
Like, if they got all this Somali daycare center money back, maybe they could
kill the snakes.
Yo, did you see Ilhan Omar?
She was reading off of a script.
She's the woman who's a congresswoman from Minnesota, from Minneapolis.
And she's connected, at least accused of being connected to the Somali daycare
center.
She's Somali.
She's accused of being connected to this fraud.
So, she's reading off this script.
And you know how people write World War II, and they use, like, I-I for two?
Okay, yeah.
She reads it as World War XI.
This is a congressperson?
She's a congresswoman!
See if you can find the video, Jamie.
It's kind of adorable.
It's kind of adorable, because I don't think English is her first language
already.
At least it doesn't sound...
The last time the Alien Enemies Act was invoked, it was used to detain and
deport
German, Japanese, Italian immigrants doing World War XI.
Oh, two.
At least she caught it, though.
I didn't know she caught it.
I never saw it.
They always cut it off before she caught it.
Well, that's politics, bro.
Politics is fucking brutal, man.
It's gross.
I don't understand why anybody would want to go into it.
But, you know, how could you say World War XI?
Like, you know there haven't been nine other wars you forgot about.
But I've said way dumber shit than that.
But have you ever read off a written speech?
I mean, oh, man.
I would almost be...
You know what it is?
I do, on a daily basis, I do things or say things that...
Like, I'm like, I definitely shouldn't have children.
You know?
Like, I'm...
Well, if you did, they'd make fun of you.
I'm too forgetful.
Stupid shit and my kids make fun of me.
It's normal.
Yeah, my brain.
It's part of being a person.
To pretend that you don't say stupid shit.
But the thing is, like, you and I say stupid shit publicly.
Like, we'll say stupid shit on a podcast.
Oh, yeah.
And sometimes you get paid for it.
But I'm talking about stuff that I would be embarrassed to have said publicly.
Like World War XI.
Yeah, like World War XI.
Because I'm telling you, I do shit like that all the time.
I have wacky...
Tony makes fun of me all the time because he's like,
you're like a cartoon character.
I have that kind of luck where it's like,
sometimes I just have those days, man.
I wake up.
This happened like...
Remember when I was...
So, last Tuesday, right?
Last bottom of the barrel.
You walked in the green room and I told you,
I went to go smell the candle and I didn't know...
Don't you know Jelly Roll candles?
And it's a bong.
And I wasn't thinking about it.
And I went to smell the candle and poured the wax on my clothes
right before I got to go off stage.
And I was wearing, like, light pants.
So, it looked like I jizzed on my pants as the wax was drying.
And that's why I went home early that day.
Because I was like, it was one of the days I woke up
and the day started that way.
I woke up to my CPAP machine crashing on the floor
because I rolled over and pulled it off my nightstand.
And I get up to go deal with that and I fucking stubbed my toe.
And I'm like, it's going to be one of these days.
It's going to be one of these fucking days.
I'm going to drop a glass in the kitchen.
You know?
So, you just said, let's call it a day.
I said, let me, I'll call it.
Go home, go right to sleep.
Interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, you gave up on the day?
No.
I still, I mean, I still ended up at the mothership that night.
But your set was good, though.
My set was good, but I took a nap.
I napped till the mothership.
Because nothing could happen while I'm asleep.
I'm going to take a strong...
Take this edible, take a strong nap, get to the mothership, do my sets, leave.
Almost like it's a new day because you just woke up.
But no, but then I spilt the wax on me.
Oh.
So, my brain was like, you don't get to cheat.
Interesting.
The idea of good days and bad days based on just like, this is what the world
has planned
for you today.
This is a bad day.
You know what it is?
Is if I don't get the sunshine, like I, because I'm a night owl, which kind of
sucks.
But if either I need to stay up for the sunshine, because I got the blackout
curtains, but if
I wake up late in the day and I don't get no sunshine, I just, I feel dumber.
Yeah, definitely.
I do, too.
Yeah.
Yeah, when I, if I wake up late, even if I get a good amount of sleep, like
more than
five hours, but if I was up really late at night and then I wake up late, I
feel off.
Because your whole system's all scrambled.
Your system is used to waking up in the morning and going to bed at night.
But if you stay up late, like your brain is working on like 40% capacity.
Sometimes I, sometimes I, cause I get, I'm a big gamer.
Sometimes I get it.
And I'm one of those people like, if I pay $60 for a game or now it's like $80,
but I'm
going to play the fuck out of it.
Like the day it come out, I'm playing it all night.
So you playing online or you playing the game itself?
Both.
Both.
It depends on the game.
What is the games that you like?
All type of shit.
Like what's the big one right now?
Right now, the game I'm playing the most is called deadlock.
It's not, it's not available.
It's not open, available to the public.
It isn't?
No.
Dude, you're a developer?
I didn't get this shit.
No, but you can get, you have to be invited.
It's a closed, what do they call it?
A closed beta or play test?
Oh, okay.
Closed play test.
That's how hardcore you are?
You get invited to beta tests?
Oh yeah, I got a bunch of nerdy friends.
Wow.
Yeah, well actually, my little, one of my little nerd groups is like, it's
through one of the
servers at the mother ship.
We all game.
We on the same discord.
We'll get on there, we don't, because it's nice to have a group where it's like
some new
shit come out and we're like, yo.
This is Deathlock?
Oh yeah.
Oh, this looks cool.
This shit's cooler than a motherfucker.
Oh wow.
But it also will make you mad as shit.
So it's third person.
So you're looking at it in third person.
Yeah, it's third person.
And do you get to pick who you are?
Oh, what is that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right now, I think there's 34 characters.
So look, that's all different people.
I know, but what is, there's a lot of information on the screen that just
popped up.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, what's all those?
Buddy, this is.
What are all those things?
This is crazy.
I'm going to fuck this up in a bunch of people.
Okay, so basically, okay.
So, so basically, so see that bottom left number, the green number, 3003?
Yeah.
Okay, so those are souls, which is just money.
Your monies are souls?
Yeah, in this game, just think of souls as dollars.
Okay.
So she's got $3,000.
And basically, so the thing she just left is the lane she was in.
And basically, how well you're playing the game, how many kills you get, how
many minions
you're getting, you get more money.
And the money lets you go buy those items.
That's what all those cards are underneath those people.
It tells you what everyone's bought.
Okay.
And since this bitch got the most money, she's bought the most stuff, which
makes her stronger.
So this game is all about getting the money to get stronger faster so you can
win.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
It's like a zip line?
Is she on a zip line here?
Yeah, yeah, because if you see on the right-hand side, that's the map.
So there's three different lanes you have to control, right?
And that big box is like the, man, this is a lot to...
Is this like League of Legends, but on the ground?
Exactly.
Okay.
I'm glad you put it like that.
But that doesn't help Joe at all.
It doesn't help me at all.
He's like...
Thank you.
Yeah.
So see the yellow side on the left-hand side of the map?
Okay.
That first tower is where you start at.
Oh, okay.
And the point is to get stronger, get underneath that, destroy it.
Then you work down to the second one.
That one is a little stronger.
It defends itself.
That's what she's in front of right now.
And then...
They're on teams.
Yeah, it's two teams trying to...
And basically, you're trying to work yourself down to their base and kill the
one in their base.
Oh, wow.
So you gang...
You join up with a team of guys that are playing this online.
Yeah, it's six on six.
Oh, wow.
But then they just...
But here's the thing.
This is all very complicated and all this, but they just introduced brawl mode,
which is...
Or street brawl, which is basically...
It knocks it down to four on four.
It makes it one lane, and it gives you random items.
So you don't have to do any of the complicated shit.
You can just get in and get in.
So you get in, run around, grab something, and beat people up with it.
Yeah, so basically, the brawl mode is just the condensed version of the game
where you're just fighting.
You don't have to worry about managing anything.
Boy, that looks like it'll take up a lot of time.
Oh, buddy.
Yeah, because here's the thing.
What's crazy about shit like that is...
If somehow you end up in a game where everyone knows what they're doing and
everyone's communicating,
one of those games can be over in 25 minutes.
But if you're on a...
That's probably not going to happen.
So it can go anywhere from 25 minutes to an hour.
I've seen games go an hour.
Hmm.
Yeah, so it's like...
But most of...
If a game is going that long, it's just because...
It's either because people are playing with you.
Because it's one of those things where, like, if you get behind to a certain
point, you can't come back.
That's the whole point of the game.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's...
The whole point of the snowball is, like, I'm so much stronger than you that
there's nothing you can do.
It gets to the point where I'm just abusing you.
Okay.
And just because they've collected the most stuff?
Because they've had the most money for the longest.
Oh.
And they can just keep buying better and better shit than you.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
But my point is, the point is for you to get to a certain point and just end
the game.
But some people don't know when that is.
You know?
Here's a quick three-sentence overview of what the game is.
Is a futuristic urban fantasy New York.
You're God's part of an occult ritual.
Trying to destroy each other.
Yeah, so the back story is an event happened called the Maelstrom that...
There's a whole origin story.
Yeah, no, this is just the back story.
It opened up a portal that let magic into the world.
And all of these people got all these abilities and powers and stuff like that.
And there's two opposing gods in some other dimension.
And they want you to summon them so they can cross over into this realm.
And so the team you're on is whichever god you're working for.
Right.
And when you win the game, that's supposed to be you completing the ritual.
And if you help complete the ritual, you get a wish.
And so when you go to each character, it tells you their back story and what
they want, what wish they want when they get there.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and some people don't want nothing.
They just want to fuck people up.
And how long have you been playing this game?
It's been probably, I don't know, a year and a half.
So this seems super complicated and like it would dedicate a considerable
amount of thinking.
It's very complex.
Because you don't even know what the fuck you're doing for like the first 200
hours.
Like it takes about 200 hours before you're like, okay, I kind of get what's
going on.
This is the kind of things that people without kids say.
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I just, I can't, I'm not, I'm definitely, I'm definitely a 43-year-old child.
Like I don't live like an adult.
Yeah.
No.
I live like almost like a frat, like a frat boy or something.
Well, if you could pull it off, those are, when you ask people, some of the
happiest times of their life.
Oh, yeah, for now.
When they were young and free, especially people that don't like what they do.
Oh, yeah.
People get a job and they don't like it, and then they have responsibilities
and they can't leave their job.
Shit, or people that get a wife and don't like her.
That happens a lot.
That happens too much.
Boy, that happens too much.
And a husband you don't like too, both sides.
It is, that's probably worse.
Well, both of them are bad, but it happens a lot.
A lot of people.
Are you gaming one of these, Brian?
Ooh.
Um, that, that was, that is, that's insane.
That's life.
But that seems like how you should be playing a game like this, right?
Yeah, in a dark room.
Let's talk.
Yeah, I mean, but the thing is, I don't think that chair is very comfortable.
How dare you?
That chair goes upside down.
You're laying down, brother.
There's versions of it you could make, you could customize.
Oh, shit, how much?
Six grand?
So, wait a minute.
This is zero gravity.
Watch, hit the different images.
Look at, it's like that, Brian.
Oh, that's crazy.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's crazy.
But what else does it do?
Does it massage?
Sucks your dick.
I mean, 10 grand is wild.
A mouth comes out, just sucks your dick.
Yeah, I'll take that.
Can you piss in that thing?
Well, it used to be 10 grand.
It's on sale.
Do they have the one that's also, like, have you seen the bed version?
The what?
Well, this one does go backwards, right?
Show a version of it where it's completely reclined.
That's what I was trying to...
You got this shit, don't you, Jamie?
No, but there's things...
Oh, it's a scorpion.
Let me show you something else.
Hold on.
So...
That's pretty wicked.
And so you can adjust that, and you can make the screen right in front of your
face.
Yeah, bruh.
I'm about to skip four heart treatments and get that chair.
I'm about to do that motherfucking thing.
This is the other version.
That one's pretty cool, too.
Oh, see, that...
I actually prefer what we're looking at here.
This?
Do you?
Well...
You prefer that to the one that you lie back in front of your face?
No, because I don't use a controller.
The only games I use a controller with is Madden.
So you're a mouse and keyboard guy?
Yeah, almost exclusively.
That's what I am.
It's like a little futon built on it.
I never figured out how to use those things.
No, fuck that futon.
Listen, if you're going to get...
Who's choosing a futon?
If you got the money for a good gaming PC, you better not have no futon.
Well, that's...
He just went all in on the gaming PC.
Yeah, I mean...
No choice.
No chance of pussy.
My shit's got kind of...
It's gotten kind of crazy recently.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
Did I never show you?
Check this shit out.
What you got?
Hold on.
Make sure.
Are there any other ones that do it with an even bigger screen like that?
That kind of a deal?
Like, what is the ultimate setup for somebody like Bill Gates?
So, there's a new, like, for the F1 rig we have?
Yeah?
There's a new screen that's come out that's like a 100 and 60...
I don't know.
So, that's my shit right there.
Ooh.
Oh, you got a dual monitor set up.
Yeah.
Curved monitors.
Super ultra wide.
That's a problem.
Yeah, it's a problem.
That's a problem.
Yeah, it is.
I'm going to send this to me.
Send it to me and I'll send it to Jamie.
Oh, do you have Jamie's number?
Yeah, I know.
I got Jamie's number.
Send it to Jamie.
Because that image is crazy.
We need to show people that image.
That's a problem.
If I had that, that'd be a real problem.
Jamie, don't knock out your number, don't we?
I do my best writing, like when I get the most done, on my laptop.
Because I don't ever look at anything else on that laptop.
The only time I use the internet at all is to check things.
To like find out if something's real.
And even that I don't use anymore because I use perplexity for that now.
I just talk into the phone.
But if you have that much distraction, like two monitors like that, I would
never leave.
I would just be playing games.
It's too fun.
It's too much.
It's too much sometimes.
It is.
It is.
They're a fucking problem, man.
Games are a problem.
They are.
Because they're so good.
You know what it is, man?
It's a dopamine drip.
Look at that.
Look at that setup.
Bro.
What's that thing on the right?
That is for controlling the sound.
So basically like, so say I'm in the chat, I'm in the Discord chat, and I got a
YouTube video
playing and I'm in the middle of a game, right?
Right.
Then I don't, I can reach over and turn down the volume of the game so I can
hear somebody
more clearly or turn up the music without having to open up anything on my
phone.
That's crazy.
You are an addict.
Yeah.
Jamie, you don't have that, do you?
I was going to show you mine.
He's got, I have way more than that.
Oh, yeah.
No, yeah.
Jamie's out of control.
I have a soundboard play that are connected into mine so I can fuck with people.
Hey, Jamie, can you, can you blur that top thing?
Because it's got people's names.
Yeah, but I can record sound, like live sound when someone's chatting and I can
record their
voice and play it back like instantly.
That's amazing.
This is me not streaming.
I'm going to start streaming this summer so I'm going to have to add a couple
of things.
So you're just going to start playing video games and streaming it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can make a lot of money doing that.
It's easy money too.
It's crazy because you're already going to play games, right?
And I know some, I know some people just like, they don't go on the road
because they
make so much money doing this.
Wow.
But the problem is, how long is that going to last?
Going on the road is forever.
It's like, oh yeah, but you can always do that.
Yeah, but you might not have an audience anymore.
You have that audience.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
But they'll be, they'll be still stuck on those video games.
You ever had T-Pain on here?
No.
Yeah, T-Pain, he's one of them, he don't, he's like, yo, you got to offer me a
lot of money
because he still goes on the road, but it's like, you got to pay him because he
makes
some, he's like, why would I leave?
Why would I take less money to leave my house?
So he just streams?
He streams, yeah.
His setup he's got is fucking crazy.
It's insane.
Yeah?
He's like, we have one F1 setup.
I think he bought six.
He's got his whole studios in one room.
He's got the racing room over here.
He's got, I think probably four different rooms and different things.
And he'll game or he'll have on guests or he'll just make a, he'll just make a
song live
in front of you.
It's just his like normal live setup.
He's got, he's got, he's got F1 setups.
He's got, he's got multiple screens around there.
Oh, that's crazy.
So he has a whole room dedicated.
Oh yeah.
Oh my God.
It's all wired together too.
So when he's streaming, how is he making money?
Sponsors.
I think he, he's definitely a Twitch partner of some kind.
Okay.
So you, you get sponsors and like how much do you think he's making?
Fuck.
I couldn't, I don't even, I mean, if I had to speculate.
Yeah, speculate.
I would say he's probably make, pulling in at least a quarter million a month
or something
like that.
Probably more than that.
Just playing video games.
Just, just streaming.
He don't even have to play video games.
Sometimes he's just talking.
That's crazy.
Well, there's a lot of that, right?
A lot of streamers.
Yeah.
There's a lot of political streamers.
There's just talking.
There's different people that do different things.
There's in, there's, they call them IRL streamers.
There's nuisance streamers where they just, yeah, they just walk around with
people.
Fuck with people.
Drip simulators, two circuit racing simulators, and one flight simulator down
there at the end.
So this is the VR room.
Wow.
The computer I play on is right here.
Step down here.
Whoa.
It's VR.
We got sensors and roof.
This is the workshop.
It was just a utility room, but I'm like, why not put 3D printers in there?
This is the plug.
3D printers.
As you can see, I took a lot of inspiration from Tron.
That's amazing.
And he's married, though.
Yeah, but he's making money.
Oh.
How's his wife going to complain?
This is another one of my streamers.
You want to go shopping?
Listen, lady.
This is how we make the money for you to go shopping.
You're right.
You're right.
You know, I mean, she can't complain if that's what you actually earn money at.
You know, my wife used to complain about the podcast before it started making
money.
Really?
Well, she was like, you don't have to do that.
I was like, I do.
I have to do it.
I told people I'd be doing it on Monday at X amount of whatever, whatever time
it was.
But that's just always.
How long until you were like, I can fucking, this is making money.
Oh, it took years.
I didn't even try.
I never tried to make any money with it.
I always did it for free.
I did it for fun.
For how many years?
I didn't make money for years.
Oh, wow.
Zero money for years.
I never even thought of it making money.
It was just for fun.
I would just have everybody come over.
Like, Segura would come over.
Eddie Bravo would come over.
Joey would come over.
Duncan.
We would just talk shit and just have laughs.
It was just for fun.
We enjoyed the shit out of it.
We had a vaporizer, this giant bag.
The volcano?
Yeah, the volcano.
Oh, my God.
The thing was horrendous.
I remember when them things first came out.
They fucked a lot of people's world up.
Fucked a lot of people.
Fucked our world up.
There's a lot of podcasts in the early days that are unlistenable or watchable
because we're
just obliterated.
And I thought it could never get past that.
And now they got, you know, then people came up with the dabs.
Bro, Jelly Roll has this machine.
It looks like a robot.
It looks like a little Pokemon robot.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Is it that?
Because Frank Castillo is one of those.
He's like sponsored by those people.
That's great.
Those things are crazy.
What is it called?
Peak.
The Peak people.
You know what I'm talking about?
I don't know if it's a Peak.
It's a device.
It scared me just looking at it.
Can you look up the Peak Pro?
It's big like this French press.
It's fucking huge.
And listen, every time I see Frank, they've come out with a new one.
They have one that's like a Sherlock Holmes pipe.
It's all electronic and it's all for dabs.
But every time he visits me, he's like, hey, bro, check this shit out.
People like him, there's a reason why weed still isn't legal.
Well, actually, I just raised something today that Trump is making...
It's Schedule 3 now.
Oh, it's done.
It's done.
Weed.
Yeah, weed is Schedule 3.
So Schedule 3.
First of all, it should be right with alcohol.
If you're 21, leave me the fuck alone.
What schedule is alcohol?
Alcohol is not scheduled.
It's not a prohibitive substance.
I don't think alcohol is scheduled like that.
Alcohol for 21 and older is totally legal.
So Schedule 1, which is where weed was, which is so crazy.
It's like the most dangerous.
It said it had no medicinal benefit, harm, addiction.
Now, I won't argue addiction because I don't think I totally understand it the
way other people understand it.
I think it's highly genetic.
I think addiction is very genetic because people keep telling me that
cigarettes are addictive and that nicotine is addictive.
I recently got off of nicotine patches and I started taking ultra patches.
Do you know what these are?
No.
Pouches, rather?
They're, it's like nootropics.
It's like vitamins, like brain vitamins.
Is there nicotine in there?
No, no, no.
No nicotine.
And when I started doing it, I was like, okay, I wonder if I'm going to, like,
I've been doing it.
You want to try one?
Here.
That one's empty.
I just bought these over Amazon, but I was like, I've done it before when I
went on vacation.
Like, I didn't have them at all and I didn't have any withdrawals.
But then I talked to McCann and McCann said that when he got off of them, it
was like two weeks where he's like fucking super tense and yelling at people.
No, no, no.
Oh, nicotine.
Nicotine.
Pouches or cigarettes.
He got off of all of it.
And then I hear, but so my point is, I think it's a biological thing.
I don't think I have the biolog, I get addicted to stuff.
I get addicted to doing things.
Like, I used to be addicted to video games.
I would definitely get addicted again if I started playing.
I get addicted to pool.
I get addicted to martial arts.
I get addicted to doing stuff.
I get addicted to archery.
But I don't think I get, I probably would if it was like oxys or something like
that.
I get, I think that's just strong.
That would just get me.
I think I'm too much of a control freak to get addicted to any kind of hard.
Well, you quit cigarettes like that.
Yeah, but you know what?
You know why it was easy?
It's because I had a heart attack.
Yeah, but the heart attack did it for you.
It did.
Oh.
And I already felt like shit, so I didn't go, I didn't, the withdrawals were
nothing.
I'm going to send you something, Jamie.
This is kind of crazy.
But I sent this to Tom Segura.
I said, it's time to start smoking again.
Because there's this guy that's making this argument that there's a benefit to
smoking as long as
you do it with the proper diet, that there's some sort of an actual benefit to
cigarette
smoking.
Because one of the things about these blue zones where people like live forever,
a lot
of these people that are like living that are really old, they smoke cigarettes.
Yeah.
That's what tripped me the fuck out.
Like, you know, every time they, every time they go, this is the oldest person
alive.
They're 109, right?
They smoke.
And then they ask them, they go, what's your secret?
They go, smoke.
I drink fire water.
And so listen to this.
And I chill.
Smoking is good for them.
Top heart surgeons claim is breaking the internet.
Clip is exploding after cardiothoracic surgeon, Dr. Stephen Gundry made a claim
that's turning
everything people thought they knew about smoking upside down.
His argument is smoking, specifically nicotine, can have real benefits when
paired with the
right lifestyle.
At one point, he even says about a patient, probably it's because he smoked
that he's doing
so well, points to long living populations where heavy smoking is common,
claims that a part
of Sardinia, 95% of men smoke and live longer than the women, says nicotine
acts as a powerful
mitochondrial uncoupler, argues that the damage blamed on smoking can be offset
by diet, and
suggests that we've been looking at it completely backwards.
According to him, the real question isn't why smoking harms people, it's why
some smokers
live longer and what we're missing.
So there's a video in here.
Listen to him talk about it, because it's eight minutes long.
Yeah, but just play a little bit of it, because it's kind of interesting.
Credit to Dr. Mike on YouTube.
I've been smoking for 45 years, and they're living a healthy life, and they say,
it's because
I smoke.
And obviously, we laugh about it, because we all agree that it's not true.
So why did this one case move you so?
Actually, let me stop you right there.
Probably it's because he smoked that he's doing so well.
Okay, we need to back up.
How do we get there?
Well, I have a whole chapter in gut check, looking at the healthiest, longest
living people.
And one of the unique features of most of the blue zones is that, particularly
the men,
are heavy smokers.
And the smoking, actually, the nicotine in cigarettes, is one of the best
mitochondrial
uncouplers that's ever been discovered.
And we've looked at this through the wrong lens.
We said, wow, what other healthy lifestyle things are these guys doing that's
preventing
smoking from harming them?
In fact, we should have looked at it the other way.
What is it about these people who are smokers that allows them to live to 105,
110 years
old?
And when you do that, then you say, okay, smoking was good for them.
Why don't we see the oxidative stress that smoking, we all know, occurs?
Why don't we see the cancers in these people?
And it's because the rest of their diet facilitates the absorption of the oxidative
stress in these
guys.
So your state is that if you smoke but eat in this specific way, you can negate
the
effects of smoking, the negative effects of smoking.
Yeah.
What's fascinating as a heart surgeon, way back in the good old days, most of
our patients
were smokers.
And they had specific proximal lesions in their coronary arteries.
The rest of their blood vessels were absolutely gorgeous.
And they were skinny for the most part.
How did you gauge that?
What do you mean?
We operated on.
But you operate on what other vessels that you saw?
Like you would do peripheral arterial disease screenings on those patients?
And you would find.
I used to operate on blood vessels.
Because one of the number one risk factors for peripheral arterial disease is
smoking.
Correct.
Because the smoking, the oxidative stress, isn't stopped by our current diet.
Let me give you an example.
Okay.
We're one of the few animals that don't make vitamin C.
And vitamin C.
And I've written about this.
Should we keep going here?
We get it.
I mean, I understand what he said.
I was just sending people to Dr. Mike's YouTube channel for the rest of it.
But...
Dr. Mike wasn't having it.
Well, he didn't know.
I mean, this guy's the expert.
And this guy lays it.
And Dr. Mike's open-minded.
He's probably...
What he's saying is making sense.
It made sense to me.
It's the poor diet.
That's why I was hoping that video would give me hope.
But I'm like, bro, if I could change my diet, I wouldn't have had the heart
attack.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, so I'm going to get this perfect diet so I can smoke.
Nah.
I don't think it's a perfect diet.
I think you just got to move to Italy.
Bro, whenever I go there on vacation, I'm like, why am I trying so hard?
What am I doing?
How come I'm not just for chilling?
Well, you know, that's the thing about Italy is they have a culture of chilling.
Yeah.
Like, their culture...
I forget what they call it, but is it siesta?
No, that's Mexicans.
They call it, like, that nap they take during the middle of the day?
Yeah, that's only...
No, no, no.
It's a Spanish thing, too.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they...
I didn't know they did it in Mexico.
Well, obviously, it's a Spanish word, right?
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know they did it in Mexico, but...
Yeah, it's a Mexican thing.
The Spanish are like, nah.
Middle of the afternoon, everybody napping.
Yeah, my friend went to the Ferrari factory in Italy, and he said, dude, it's
hilarious.
He goes, they barely work.
He goes, they...
Like, the reason why it takes so long to get a Ferrari, he goes, like, these
motherfuckers
are just chilling.
And he goes, they take these big, long...
Oh, it's Lamborghini.
Yeah, he said they take these big, long breaks for lunch.
They eat pasta, and they drink wine, and they lay down.
They take a couple hours for lunch, and they work a few more hours, and then
they go home.
They got to figure it out.
Well, I think we work too much, you know?
And this is coming from someone who works too much.
But I work too much at things I love.
It's a different thing, I think, than most people.
Most people are working too much at something that's just making them money,
and they're probably
stressed out all the time and don't enjoy it.
But I think if you are working less and just having more enjoyment in life,
what are we here for?
See, that's why I'm...
I think subconsciously, that's why I've been avoiding streaming.
I've been talking about it for years, because I'm like, if I start making money
from streaming...
Right, and then it becomes a job.
Bro, I'm going to be like that...
You know that fat kid in the chair in Wally?
You ever see that movie?
Yeah.
I'm going to transform into that.
Just Uber Eats.
Yeah, if I just started getting millions of dollars.
Uber Eats, just millions of dollars just eating and laying there.
Everybody walking to the Discord.
And no exercise at all?
Oh, yeah.
Well, the more you stream, the more you make, right?
So, there's people that stream more than eight hours a day, don't they?
I mean, theoretically, yeah.
But some people stream a lot, and they don't make shit.
Yeah, but that's also podcasting.
There's a lot of people that are doing podcasts that aren't making any money.
Yeah, so, yeah.
But you've got to stream to make money.
You've got to be on.
Yeah, but it's a very specific type of audience, too, though.
It's people that are watching streams.
Very different audience than who's watching podcasts, I would imagine.
That's hard to say.
Yeah.
It's hard to say, yeah.
Because I think, I don't know if those, there's probably a lot of overlap in
those audiences.
So, I don't, what we were talking about before with the smoking, I don't think
smoking is good for your lungs.
I think it's bad for your lungs.
Because everybody I know that quit smoking, they say their cardio gets better.
This was a, this stuff, this, that interview you shared came out two years ago.
Oh, did it?
And there was some controversy around it.
Well, clearly.
But what is a blue zone?
Well, that doctor doesn't.
It's places where people live longer.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so here what it says.
Key details regarding Dr. Gundry's statements.
Controversial claims.
In a conversation with Dr. Mike, Gundry suggested smoking could be linked to
longer life, observing that some long-lived individuals in blue zone smoke.
Mechanism theory.
Gundry argues that nicotine functions as a mitochondrial uncoupler and that a
high polyphenol diet may mitigate the negative effects of cigarette smoke.
Criticism, experts strongly disagree, noting that smoking is the leading cause
of premature death and that any potential benefits are far outweighed by risks.
Right, but they're not taking into consideration what he said about food.
Despite the headlines, Gundry stated he does not smoke and does not encourage
others to do so.
So he's just a scientist relaying research.
Yeah, so what are the critics strongly disagreeing with?
They said they're not making any sense because they're disagreeing, but they're
not addressing what he's saying in terms of the high polyphenol diet mitigating
the negative effects of smoking.
Yeah, I mean, that's all he said was what he observed.
This is what I think in my years of trying and using nicotine.
I think there's something to nicotine.
The reason why I am backing off of it is it fucks up my pool game.
Really?
Yeah.
Nicotine gives you a lot of energy.
And I think like these Alps, these are like six milligrams.
And then there's Lucy's.
I have Lucy's that are 12.
But you put them in your mouth.
It's like you're sucking on a battery.
It's like it's so strong.
It's ridiculous.
They make you jittery and jittery is not good for pool.
Pool is a chill game.
Pool is like you're concentrating, but you want to be completely calm when you're
stroking the ball.
Like your hand, you're barely holding on to that cue.
I hold on to the cue like I'm holding a baby bird.
You know, it's very calm.
You don't want to be like, you know, so a lot of people stop drinking coffee
because they play pool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But nicotine in particular, which is interesting because I know a lot of people
who smoke cigarettes who play really well.
Maybe it's a different feeling in terms of like how it affects your body.
Then, oh, see, that's a good question.
How much nicotine is in a cigarette versus like one of these Alp pouches?
These Alp pouches is Tucker Carlson's company.
It's probably also has to do with like your level of addiction.
Like some people are.
Fully.
Yeah.
Some people smoke all day.
Yeah, they need cigarettes just to be back to zero.
John Mellencamp, he was in here.
That dude just that was like one of the big things.
Like, can I smoke during the podcast?
I'm like, absolutely.
No worries.
I go, we got a fan.
We smoke cigars all the time.
So he just chain smoked the entire podcast.
And he said, find what you love and let it kill you.
That's what he said about cigarette smoking.
Oh, yeah.
That's a, who's that, who's that quote from?
I don't know.
Typical nicotine amounts.
Okay.
Standard factory made cigarette usually contains about 10 to 14 milligrams of
nicotine in tobacco,
which an average smoker absorbs around one to two milligrams when smoking it.
Nicotine pouches are sold in strains that commonly range from two milligrams up
to 12 or more of nicotine per pouch.
CDC notes that they can contain high levels of nicotine.
Pouches that with six milligrams nicotine or less were most common, but higher
strength, eight milligram pouches have been growing quickly.
Yeah, because people are getting addicted.
Cigarettes deliver nicotine to the brain very fast within 10 to 20 seconds
after inhalation, which makes them highly reinforcing and strongly addictive.
Pouches release nicotine through the lining of the mouth, so the rise in blood
nicotine is slower and more prolonged compared with a cigarette hit,
though total absorbed dose over 20 to 60 minutes can be similar depending upon
strength or how long the pouch is used.
But the thing about like pouches is people just keep popping them.
Like Shane, that dude just pops them every 10 minutes.
He's popping six milligrams like every 10 minutes.
Combustible cigarettes are clearly more harmful overall because smoke contains
more than 7,000 chemicals, many toxic and carcinogenic,
whereas pouches avoid combustion but still expose you to an addictive drug with
cardiovascular effects.
That's why I'm convinced that people that do all the other forms of nicotine
are way more addicted than smokers are.
Well, I'll tell you one thing that I felt was the most addictive version of it
that I tried was vaping.
Those like Escobar things, those are weird.
Here's another weird thing about those vaping ones.
The only good hit is the first hit, maybe the second of the day.
Have you seen how vapors act when they can't find their vape?
Oh, they freak out.
It is...
They get sketchy.
It's crazy.
They get crazy.
I was in D.C. last year and I popped in on this comedy spot and I go to the
bathroom and there's a vape sitting on the sink.
Like somebody put a vape there to wash their hands or something.
And I go out to the bar and I remember all the...
I remember I bought the...
I bought the comics, like the comics are at the bar waiting to go up and I
bought a round for the comics.
And one of them was like, oh, thanks, man.
Got up, went to the bathroom, came back, sat next to his friend and was like,
oh, bro, I found this vape in there.
And they both hit this vape.
So they went...
He took a vape out the bathroom.
That somebody else was just sucking on.
Some guy who could have been eating ass just 20 minutes ago.
Also, it was on the sink in the back, in the men's room, at a comedy club.
That's crazy.
Hey, I found it.
Let's take hits off of it.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
It would be tough if that was my vape and I set it on the counter and I'm like,
oh, shit.
Because that's probably what happened.
Somebody set it there out of reflex and was like, I don't want that shit.
It's right here with all this filthy...
Maybe.
Or maybe they're like, I got to leave this thing here.
This men's room sink water?
Nah, you could keep that.
You could keep that.
These guys are just sucking on it at the bar.
But I guess if you dip it in whiskey, it'd be all right.
Just dip it in your glass before you take a hit.
Bro, you could just wait until you get to your vape.
Because it's not...
You got one.
The first hit is the only one that's good.
The first hit is euphoric.
The first hit of an Escobar, you're like this.
Oh, yeah.
Everything's amazing.
But you don't get that with a second hit.
It doesn't maintain.
After a while, you're just taking hits and you just feel nervous.
Like, this is terrible.
This doesn't feel good.
But it's the first hit.
The first hit's wonderful.
Oh, yeah.
You know how many vapors I've had to curse out because they unplug my phone?
Nah, they're plugging their stupid fucking vape.
They're like, yo, what?
Yo, you was at 30%.
I'm like...
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I need it all day.
Right.
Don't unplug my shit.
Junkies.
They really are, man.
Junkies.
Oh, they're junkies.
I see people hit them all the time.
They hit them like a fiend.
And you know the worst thing is the people that they try to start vaping to
replace smoking.
They just end up doing both.
Well, I think the vaping is more addictive than smoking.
Oh, yeah, because you can...
You know why?
It's because, one, like you said, I think you're getting delivered more nicotine
than a smoker will get.
Even though...
Look, smoking has other bad shit that you're putting in you.
You know, but in terms of addiction is what I'm saying.
I'm not saying vaping is worse for you.
But you're getting more nicotine and you can vape in places you can't smoke.
And on top of that, you're getting all these weird oils and chemicals and stuff
in there that aren't good for you.
But you can vape any time.
Right.
You can vape...
But you know, people are getting these new diseases like popcorn lung.
Have you heard of that?
I heard of that, but I ain't heard of nobody that got it.
I've heard like, you know, it's one of those like, what do you call them, urban
myths or urban...
There was a kid that I knew back in California.
He was one of the people in our neighborhood's child.
And he was 19.
And he was in college and he was vaping like crazy.
He was vaping all day long.
And he got pneumonia and wound up dying.
And they connected it to the vape.
Like he had destroyed his lungs.
The kids are damaging their lungs.
But you know, I think that started back when...
You remember when some people have like the adjustable ones?
Where like you...
Oh, the big ones.
Yeah.
Crazy ones.
Because now the popular ones are like the disposable ones.
Adam Curry has one of them big jammies.
Yeah, one of them big rigs.
Look at a lunchbox.
I think people were going crazy back then.
Like in the beginning of it when nobody knew a lot.
The real vapors, man, they still go crazy.
But they're doing it themselves.
They think it's healthier.
They're getting like their own like nicotine drops.
They're putting it in the thing.
And they're putting their own oil.
They're using like MCT oil because it's healthy.
This organic poison.
Yeah.
I get it.
Whereas like if you're getting it from a factory in China or Vietnam.
Have you ever seen that one?
There's one video of a dude who has to test every vape when it comes out of the
factory.
With his mouth?
With his mouth.
The ones you get have already been sucked on.
So this dude is just sucked in Vietnam.
Just I don't know where he is.
He might be in Laos.
He's just sucking just wherever this vape factory is.
This dude's just sucking on this vape over and over and over again.
Everybody's vape.
He sucks on once to make sure it's good before he sends it out.
Bro, we're doomed.
So this guy's got, what is his dose of caffeine in a day?
It must be off the charts.
Yeah, so that's the other thing.
I think the vapors are more addicted because they get more nicotine.
They just get to do it.
They just do it all the time.
Yes, you could definitely do it.
But I'm telling you, it's like you don't get the good feeling.
Like it's weird.
It's weird.
Like a cigar, like the relaxation, the good nicotine feeling of a cigar.
You get that like every time you take a hit out of a cigar.
That's not the case with a vape.
At least not for me.
Look at this dude.
He's sucking on every one of these.
Checking them out.
Look, that's nuts.
They got to make sure they're good.
Like how vaped out is this cat?
That's probably how that's probably what he gets paid in just vapes.
Just smoke.
I mean, how many fucking thousands of vapes is this kid sucking on in a day?
How many do you test in a day?
He says.
Around 7,000 to 8,000 tests per day.
Jesus Christ.
Does that dude sleep at all?
He probably dreams in like horrible black and white like lightning bolts and
fucking stress.
He also smokes after work.
Oh my God.
Someone should see how long that guy lives.
Bro, that boy's otter is done.
Yeah, he's not in the blue zone.
Not at all, bro.
I was just looking at popcorn lung.
Yeah.
According to this, it came around 2000 when people at an actual popcorn factory
were exposed
to a chemical that was causing this called broncholitis obliterans.
Bro, look at this.
It's first recognized from clusters of workers at a microwave popcorn factory
exposed to the
butter flavoring chemical diacetyl.
Wow.
I thought it made your lungs look like popcorn.
This is saying there's like, it's very, it's super rare for outside of that,
actually, though.
Cancer Research's UK states that there have been no confirmed cases of popcorn
lungs specifically
caused by e-cigarettes, although some older e-liquids contain diacetyl before
regulations tightened.
Do you think that's like big tobacco trying to scare people away from vapes?
No, no.
No, I think they invested in that shit.
Yeah, but if they don't, like, what if it's like some companies maybe don't and
they're
worried that these cheap vapes...
Well, there's only, there's only, there's only three companies.
The big tobacco is really big tobacco.
So it's R.J.
Reynolds.
What are the other ones?
Phillip Morris, or is it Phillip Morris?
And then there's a, and then there's an overseas one.
Maybe there's four companies.
Who's making the American spirits?
It's the same people.
It's the same people?
There's only three or four big tobacco companies.
This lady, Suzanne Humphries, who's a doctor, she was making the argument that
those cigarettes
are probably not even that bad for you.
And they own, and they see the writing on the wall.
Like, they own all the patch companies?
They own that shit too?
Of course.
Of course.
Why wouldn't they?
Because the writing's on the wall.
They were talking about it in Canada, and now I think they're trying to do it
in the
U.K., where basically, like, people of a certain age will never be able to buy
cigarettes.
Yeah, I think they're doing that in Canada right now.
Or they're definitely doing that in the U.K., that's right.
No, American spirits of cigarettes are not safer than other cigarettes.
Despite marketing that highlights natural and addictive free tobacco, studies
show they
contain similar levels of toxic, cancer-causing chemicals as other brands.
Research suggests they may even be more addictive due to higher nicotine levels.
No reduced harm, no evidence of the absence of additives makes cigarette smokes
less harmful.
On high nicotine addiction, studies have found that many varieties have higher
nicotine
yields compared to other popular brands suggesting higher addictiveness,
misleading marketing.
FDA previously required the manufacturers to stop using natural and additive-free
in marketing
as these terms falsely implied lower risk.
Why does that imply lower risk if you say additive-free?
Consumer misconception, 64% of American spirit smokers incorrectly believe they're
less harmful,
often because of their natural branding.
This lady, this doctor, was making that argument.
She was saying the chemicals that they add to cigarettes that make them more
addictive.
Like, remember that Russell Crowe movie, The Insider?
Remember that movie?
Mm-mm.
Good movie.
It's about a guy who is, a true story, about a guy who's a doctor who works at
a tobacco company
that makes cigarettes, and he's specifically formulating these chemicals in
order to make people way more
addicted.
And then he has to go to court, and they try to kill him.
It's like, you know, big kind of whistleblower-type drama.
But that was the premise of that film, which is also based on real life.
And what she's saying is that those chemicals that make you more addictive are
probably much
more dangerous, and that just the actual tobacco itself is probably not as
dangerous.
She wasn't definitively stating this.
She was just saying that, most likely, they're probably safer for you.
Well, the American Spirit ones, also, you smoke less, because they take forever
to smoke.
It's like, every time I was smoking around an American Spirit smoker, you know,
you'll
see a damn three-quarters of a cigarette left in the ashtray.
Do you think that those, like, Marlboros and shit like that, like, they smoke
quicker on
purpose so that you smoke more of them?
Yeah.
I think they're...
Probably gunpowder.
Something they add to them, make them...
Make it burn faster?
Because that's the thing, with American Spirit, you sit it down, it'll go out.
Right.
But if I was the light of Marlboro and sit it down there, it would burn all the
way up.
Right.
I think they do that so you waste cigarettes.
That makes sense.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
That makes sense.
Yeah, because they probably calculate over time how much money that would be.
Yeah.
In fact, I read somewhere, like, that is why there are 20 packs in a cigarette,
20 cigarettes
in a pack, because they discovered that that's exactly how many you needed to
smoke as much
as possible in one day.
Like, in terms of how long it's in your system, and when you start getting
another craving,
you can smoke.
Well, that's crazy, because some people smoke two packs a day, three packs a
day.
Yeah, those people are like, oh, animals.
How are they alive?
I don't know, but I was getting close.
Where were you at?
I was at a little over, like, I was at a little over a pack a day, where I
would smoke
I would go through a whole pack.
And then tip into the next pack.
And then dip into the next pack, yeah.
Hmm.
It makes sense that they would buy patches.
Why wouldn't they?
And why wouldn't they buy up the companies that have alternatives, like gum,
Nicorette,
all that shit?
Years ago, the VA tried to get me to quit, and they prescribed me the patches.
Yeah.
But, like I said, there's 12 to 14 milligrams in a cigarette, but you only end
up getting
one or two.
Right.
But the patch is five.
The lowest step of the patch is five.
And do you feel it?
Yeah.
You have crazy fucking dreams, too.
Whoa.
You put one of them patches on before you go to bed, you're going to have a
fucking crazy
dream.
And now you're more addicted.
Oh.
Right?
Because you're not used to getting five.
Now you're getting five all night.
You wake up like, oh, shit.
You're not used to getting nicotine all night.
Ron White used to wear a patch and smoke all day.
Yeah.
That's what I was about to tell you.
It's like, everybody I knew that got on the patches was patching and smoking.
Yeah.
Ron was patching and smoking, and then one hypnotism session, quit.
Everything.
Cold turkey.
Really?
Yep.
That's weird, because he don't seem very suggestible.
I know.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think I've ever seen him change his mind about nothing.
About nothing.
All of the arguments that he's had with Tony in the green room.
I live for that shit.
I live for those moments.
Those are hilarious.
Ron digs his heels in.
As soon as I hear Ron go, well, well.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's not my experience.
Yeah.
He was wearing the patch, and he was smoking those little cigars.
You know those little cigars?
Mm-hmm.
He was smoking them like cigarettes.
You're supposed to not inhale those little suckers.
Like, those little suckers have way more nicotine.
You know those little tiny Monte Cristos?
Oh, yeah.
Those little things?
You're supposed to smoke those like a cigar.
Yeah.
Like, when I smoke them, I try to smoke them like a cigar.
You hold it in your mind.
It's a tiny cigar.
You can't tell these Texas gentlemen not to smoke nothing.
Well, Ron has got amazing willpower because he got off the alcohol and just
done.
Never touched it again.
Got off the cigarettes, done.
Never touched him again.
Yeah.
I love that guy.
He's the best.
He's the best.
But it's like that ability to just turn something off like that.
The amount of money.
How much money?
Let's look into that.
How much money is in the nicotine business overall in America?
It's probably way more now with pouches and vapes on top of cigarettes.
I think it's less now.
But the cigarettes have probably been less.
But now so many people are on the pouches and so many people are vaping.
Well, the thing is, I think there's less money overall.
But that's why there's less companies because they keep getting bought.
Right.
Because people are smoking less.
Like the kids are smoking way less.
Cigarettes.
Way less cigarettes.
And they don't vape as much as we think.
But I think there are a lot of them are on the zins.
A lot of them are on pouches.
Let's guess.
What do you think the overall industry of cigarettes or nicotine products in
America?
The collective amount of money that nicotine products in America generate every
year.
I'm going to say $10 billion.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
It's less than $10 billion.
For the whole country, I'll say $6 billion.
Let's say $6 billion because there's 350 million people plus Mexicans.
It's just for the oral nicotine.
It's how much?
$6.
Whoa.
Cigarettes is way higher.
What is cigarettes?
$76 billion?
$76 billion?
Oh, shit.
That's more than sports.
That's crazy.
That's more than football.
It's cigarettes and traditional tobacco, which would include cigars and the
hookahs and stuff.
Okay, but what was it 20 years ago?
Was it higher or lower?
It doesn't have 20 years ago from what I look, but it has grown.
It's growing slowly every year.
It's a total of $100 billion when you include everything together.
That's crazy.
But it isn't really crazy because it's one of the legal and socially acceptable
drugs
to be on all day.
Nicotine, yeah.
Yeah, you can smoke it because you can't even drink at work.
Especially if you use pouches now.
Everybody's using pouches.
They're predicting the pouches are going to go from around $4 to $6 billion now,
and by 2030, so it's only five to six years from now, could get up to $50
billion.
Well, here's the thing.
They have nootropic benefits.
They do enhance your cognitive performance.
Nicotine does.
And there's a lot of people that swear by them, like for creativity and stuff.
One of the things that Stephen King talked about in that book on writing was
that one of his biggest bumps in the road with his writing career is when he
quit smoking.
He's had a really hard time getting his synapses to fire the same way.
It was really noticeable, the difference in quitting nicotine.
But then again, his best shit he wrote when he was on Coke.
He was doing Coke and drinking beer.
Yeah.
And he wrote his best, craziest shit when he was doing that.
No, but I'm going to be honest about that, though.
Like, I do feel less creative.
Or less, not less creative, but less, I don't know.
It does feel like, it feels like my brain is working different.
What about cigars?
You ever thought about cigars?
Or you just, like, think it's too much of a gateway?
Yeah, I would be right back on it.
I'd be right back on it.
Maybe we, can we get some, are there nicotine drops, Jamie?
You can just shoot it into your fucking eyeballs?
You fuck with the pouches at all?
Or do you worry that the pouches will bring you closer to the cigarettes?
No, but I've never fucked with the pouches.
I don't know.
You want to try one?
Aren't I trying one?
Oh, this doesn't have nicotine in it.
That is no nicotine.
That's an ultra pouch.
Don't do it.
No, no, no.
Maybe the gum.
Maybe I'll try the gum.
Yeah, I've tried the gum.
I like pouches better.
How is that?
I like pouches better.
It's interesting that, like, they would probably, I wonder how much money is
spent.
Okay, what is the patch, what's the patch worth?
Like, how much does that generate?
You know what's wild?
They were trying to give me nicotine in the hospital.
For what?
Because they knew I was a smoker.
And they were like, you don't, you don't want any?
I was like, no.
How are they trying to give it to you?
In what way?
I don't know if it was a pouch or a gum.
They have mints, too.
But it had been prescribed to me, and it was just sitting there.
And they, you know, and every time a shift changed, somebody would remind me,
hey, so
you know you got some, you know you got some scissors right here?
I was like, no, I'm okay.
I was like, oh my gosh, somebody sent me some nicotine mints, and they made me
nervous.
Like, I didn't like them.
They made me feel uncomfortable.
It was a tiny slice.
Okay, nicotine patches are a tiny slice of the nicotine economy.
The U.S., they amount to at most a few hundred million dollars per year versus
tens of billions
for cigarettes and other nicotine products.
Yeah, but you know what?
The reason they still invest in them is because every time you try to quit and
you use the
pouches, when you come back, you're more addicted.
Right, right.
So it's just, it's a cycle.
Yeah, it's insurance that you'll get back on the cigarettes.
Yeah, because I bet you they're not, they probably don't track how many people.
What's so funny, Janet?
Nicotine replacement therapy.
The global nicotine replacement therapy market, patches, gum, lozenges, et
cetera, is around
3.1 billion.
Therapy.
Just reading that in this room sounds like a-
Silly.
Weird conspiracy or something like that.
Predicted to reach 4.7 billion U.S. dollars by 2034.
But it makes sense that they would invest in that.
Like, you know, why wouldn't they?
It's like if they're smart business people, you know?
Yeah.
Did you hear about that special forces soldier that got in trouble because he
bet on polymarket
that Maduro was going to be kidnapped?
Or they found out who it was.
Yeah, they caught the dude.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
He made four, I believe he made $400,000.
And he tried to cover his tracks.
Oh, I thought it was like Trump's son or something.
People thought it was Don Jr.
Well, who knows what they've done.
Oh, yeah.
They probably did it all.
I mean, they're probably not looking at them the same way they're looking at
these special forces guys.
Boy, Trump don't leave no crumbs on the table.
He's like, I need all this bread.
I'm on the way out.
I still need this bread.
Yeah, I mean, think about that, the coin, the Trump coin.
I mean, that's crazy.
That's crazy.
It's legal, but it's Melania coin.
Bro, if you're buying any celebrity's coins, you deserve to lose your money.
Hmm.
But I think what Metzger explained to me, he goes, these are gambling addicts.
They're gambling.
He goes, they know that it's going to crash.
No one's under any illusion that this is going to last forever.
They try to get in and get out and make money while they're doing it.
It's like they just figure out when to buy and when to sell.
Yeah, but there are people that think that, you know, those are the suckers.
Those are who you're getting money from.
It's the ones that think it.
You could look at it that way.
Or you could look at it as this is an effective way to pay people off legally.
So here's the thing.
I'm not accusing anybody of doing this, but I'm saying, let's say if I started
a JRE coin
and maybe some Middle Eastern government decided they were going to invest $500
million in a JRE coin.
And then I announced the JRE coin.
They put in the money to back this JRE coin.
I get a substantial stake in the JRE coin.
So I get a bunch of JRE coins.
And then I just dump all my JRE coins.
And then I get all that money.
And then it goes from being worth X amount of dollars to being worth almost
nothing.
Is that the pump and dump?
That's the pump and dump.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, so that would be a way I'd pay you.
So, like, say maybe if you and I had some sort of a deal that was a little
shady.
And I said, Brian, how about this?
I can't pay you outright, but what I can do is why don't you start a crypto
coin?
And I will invest in your crypto coin, which is a very legal venture.
And I will put in $100 million into your crypto coin.
And so now your crypto coin, a bunch of people will also throw money in because
there's $100 million in it.
And they know that it's going to pump and dump.
It's going to happen like the real clever fuckers.
And then you just get out.
So, you get out.
As soon as it hits the peak, like, you get it set up so that, like, it maybe
peaks in 24 hours or whatever the fuck it is.
Like, let's, like, let's, and again, we're not accusing anybody of anything.
No.
But let's look at.
Nor are we taking notes.
Let's look at Trump coin.
Let's look at Trump coin.
How much was Trump coin worth, like, right after it came out versus five days
later?
So, somewhere that money has to go somewhere.
And so if I invested in Brian Simpson coin and then that money, it got to the
coin was worth, I don't know what a coin's worth.
I don't know what it's worth.
But let's just say it got to its peak and then you sell and you just dump all
your coins.
And so that you just rake in a big pile of money, millions and millions of
dollars.
And then everybody else is, like, the people that, like, we're dummies, they
don't get anything.
And then me, I didn't expect to get any money.
I'm just trying to bribe you.
I'm trying to pay you off.
Well, the thing is, America.
Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah.
The thing is, America is, like, three quarters scams.
A lot of scams.
And some people sit around complaining about the scams instead of getting in on
them.
Did you hear what Dr. Oz said?
No.
Dr. Oz works for the government now.
They, California has a big hostel scam going on.
You know how, like, Minneapolis and Minnesota had the daycare scam?
California has a bunch of fake hostels where they're taking care of people.
That's what it is, right?
So they shut funding down to 400 of them.
Not one of them complained.
They're just like, whoop, see ya.
And so it's his assertion that that's because they were all scams.
So that Nick Shirley guy, the same guy that investigated the fraud in
Minneapolis, he's investigated some of the fraud in California.
And one of the things that they found in some of his videos is, like, a lot of
these businesses are registered to, like, a hotel.
And, like, every room in this vacant hotel is a different office for whatever
company.
And so each room in the hotel is raking in money as an office that's supposed
to be working as a hostel or as some sort of, you know, a rehab center or, you
know, fill in the blank.
They have all these learning centers, all these different kinds of things.
And it's all just government scams, Medicaid scams.
Yeah, get in on the scam.
Get in on the scam.
Scamming is the American way.
Looking at it, how you asked, isn't the best way to look at this?
Here's what it said.
Of course not.
But I'll show you what it says after this, though.
Okay, Trump's official Trump meme coin launched at around one U.S. dollar,
range reported roughly 0.18 to 1.20.
And within about five days, it had crashed down from a brief spike near 70 to
75 U.S. dollars down to a high of 30s per coin.
So that's within five days.
So it spiked at 75 and then it dropped down to 30.
Different data provides slightly different start points, but they are in the
same general zone.
Crypto Analytics notes Trump was launched on January 17, 2025, initially worth
18 cents per token.
So everybody buys in when that happens.
Other coverage in Exchange Post described trading beginning around $1 or about
$1 within the first hours after launch.
So reasonable takeaway is launch price is 0.2 to 1.0 U.S. dollars per Trump,
depending on which exact tick you chose.
So within first hours after launch, the price skyrocketed from around $1 to
around $75 U.S. dollars.
So that's when you want to get out, within the first hours.
Reports the same weekend cite highs near 70 to 75 U.S. dollars and a market cap
over 10 to 12 billion.
A finance report on days after launch, trading started around $7 U.S. dollars
on Friday, jumped as high as $74 on Sunday.
So that's when you're supposed to get out.
So let me ask this.
What is it worth now?
That's like $2 now.
Interesting.
So it got as high as $74.
Well, now you got to hold on to it.
Now you're fucked.
Just in case.
There's a little bit more.
It's like there's more into it because it's not the easiest coin to get and how
do you get it and all those kinds of things come into play.
And that's kind of what I think this sentence is more about.
Right.
But if it went to 75, somebody must have made a ton of loot, right?
Had to.
Yeah.
That's what it says.
Right.
800,000 wallets, which could be people.
Collectively lost around $2 billion while the Trump Organization and partners
profited heavily from fees.
Interesting.
So this is the thing.
Like that's just that one.
What is the worst pump and dump in crypto coin history?
Let's look at that.
Let's find out.
Sam Bank from Freed.
I think it was him.
Well, I think what he was doing, he said that if he was left alone, he would
have recovered the debt.
And that he had been doing this back and forth.
They just caught him in a moment where this one guy sold all his coins off to
try to crash him on purpose like his rival.
And then he didn't have the money to cover the spread.
And then people wanted their money out.
And then they realized.
But he had been.
They all do that.
Apparently it was what his.
I don't know.
But that's what his argument was.
I believe is that I think he said that if he was not that they didn't interfere
with him.
Not only would those coins have gotten the money back, but they would be
profitable today.
See, I have friends that have profited from it.
But when I hear them talk about it, it's like, I just don't quite understand it
fully.
I feel the exact same way.
And I can't put my money in some shit that I can't articulate how I can make
money.
I can't do it.
Yeah.
Not only do I not understand it, I don't trust it.
Yeah.
It sounds crazy to me.
I don't mean to.
The people that try to talk you into it, they freak me out.
Well, a lot of times they just, no, there's a new scam.
Somebody in my family is getting caught up with these fucking scammers.
But they're finding elderly, it's like going through the elderly community, a
new Ponzi pyramid, Ponzi scheme.
Oh, no.
And basically, they're telling these old folks that they are joining a crypto
exchange, but the crypto isn't real.
Oh, no.
So they download this app, and they're telling them, all you got to do is get
up every morning and make these trades.
And you make this much percent of your money back.
And so, and they go, and you know what, and just so you know it's not a scam, I'm
going to put in a grand for you.
I'm going to put in two, I put in five grand for you.
But you don't realize that money's fake, too.
You download the app, they can show you how much money you want.
But you can't get that money out.
So here's how they get you.
So they get you either way.
So if you do, so the ultimate plan is to lull you into going, like they want
you to log on every day and see that number going up and go, oh, shit, I'm
going to put my money in there so I can make even more money.
Right?
That's the ultimate plan.
But even if you got suspicious and you're like, I want to take my money out,
well, they go, okay, we'll just send us an early withdrawal fee.
So they only end up getting a little bit of money out of you, but they still
get real money out of you for no money.
And even if you end up getting so suspicious that you won't even do that, well,
they got you to download this app on your phone.
And so they got your information.
Most people use the same login credentials across apps, so you done gave them
that as well.
Right.
You know, they got your email address, they could sell that.
And they have your security questions, so they know your first dog's name and
shit like that.
So it's like, at the very least, they get in the way with your info.
Right.
Or some of your real money.
You know?
And a lot of old folks, they hear crypto and they don't really understand it.
So it's easy to convince them that, oh, it's just something I don't understand,
but this app makes it easy for me.
Isn't it crazy that the poly market thing for this special forces soldier, that
he's going to jail for this, but Congress is allowed to insider trade?
Oh, bro.
Bro.
And that's kind of crazy because you can't be sure that the mission to try to
overthrow Maduro is going to be successful, right?
So if they're trying to overthrow Maduro, that's a military operation.
They're not always successful.
So if he's gambling on a military operation that he's about to embark in, he's
kind of betting on his own life.
Well, I think what they're getting him for is more that he endangered the
mission.
Really?
Because I seem, because, uh, because I was saying, because, yeah, because you're,
because if, if, if we're supposed to keep our military movements a secret and
it gets out there that someone keeps on predicting when we're going to make
certain movements, then our enemies will be watching poly market for when
people bet on.
That actually makes sense.
Right.
Is that really the case, Jamie?
What is he in trouble for?
Uh, I mean, I was, I'm reading through the justice.gov thing.
What Brian was saying started to make sense off of here, but at the bottom it
says the actual charges and the charges are three counts of violating the Commodity
Exchange Act each, which carries a maximum of 10 years, one count of wire fraud,
which is a 20 year max, one count of unlawful monetary transaction, which is a
10 year max.
And what's the other one?
Well, that's only two, but it says there's three.
Um, that's crazy because like, how come no one in Congress ever gets in trouble?
They do sometimes when they don't vote correctly.
No, like every year somebody goes down, not an insider trading.
They get busted for other shit.
Yeah.
You're right for like taking bribes and stuff.
Yeah.
Has anybody ever been busted Congress wise for insider trading on stocks?
I don't think so.
If I guess.
There was another controversy recently.
They're accusing Fetterman of doing it.
But the type of shit the average person goes to jail for?
Oh my God.
What?
You want to talk about something that'll piss you off about somebody going to
jail?
Yeah.
This guy in Florida, what was his name?
Yeah.
A few people have for sure.
Really?
Congress people?
For insider trading?
Yeah.
Even recently.
That's crazy.
It says rep from New York, Chris Collins, pled guilty in 2019 to insider
trading and lying
after tipping his son about a civil drug trial, 26 months in prison, T-Mobile
stock purchase.
Definitely no senators though.
Well, these are people that nobody knows.
Look at these people.
This ain't Nancy Pelosi.
2020 scandal.
Nah.
So occasionally, oh, COVID trades.
No powerful people are going to prison for that shit.
No.
Martha Stewart's the most powerful person that ever went to jail.
Yeah, but she didn't even go to jail for that.
She went to jail for lying.
78 members.
78 members have been arrested?
In one different, not arrested, but all violated the Stock Act.
Interesting.
Which requires reporting financial trades within 45 days.
Maybe that's just because they tried to hide it and everybody else is just like,
oh, I just
made a good bet.
No, Joe, but they're saying just in this Congress.
In April, three candidates were fined by Kalshi for allegedly, whatever,
betting on their own
races.
Political insider trading by betting on their own races.
But wait a minute.
You can't bet on your own race?
That seems crazy.
Like, if you think you're going to win, you don't know if you're going to win.
No one knows.
But you're probably the first one to know which way it's going to go.
I don't know about that.
I don't think those polls are ever correct.
Nah, that's not true.
They must be somewhat correct.
Well, in that case, they were suspended from Kalshi, so I don't know that they
got in
trouble for that.
So, Joe, check this shit out.
This is going to get under your skin.
So, this dude, Michael Martin in Florida, he made an addition to his house, a
million dollar
addition to his house.
It got approved by the city and everything.
And after he put it up, his neighbors complained.
They went and dug up some, like, hundred-year-old statute and complained, right?
So, they take him to court.
And his argument is, well, it got approved by the city.
Like, that's why I built it.
Right.
So, fuck them.
But he compromised already.
He compromised and he put up a thing to block his view so it wouldn't bother
them.
Okay.
And that wasn't good enough for them.
So, then the judge ended up ordering him to tear it all down.
Oh, my God.
And he refused.
And now he's still in jail.
He's still in jail right now.
Oh, my God.
For contempt of court.
Is this a homeowners association thing?
No.
No, it's just his neighbor.
No, because everything was approved.
It got approved by the HOA.
It got approved by the city and everything.
And he spent all his money.
He spent all his money, built it up, and then his neighbor had a problem with
it.
Oh, his neighbor's a piece of shit.
And now the judge wants him to tear it down.
Can you imagine your neighbor wanting you to take down an addition to your
house?
Like, why do you give a fuck?
I'm telling you right now.
If I'm going to jail over that, I'm going to whoop your ass.
I'm going to at least be in there for something.
That's so crazy that people can take someone to court for doing something to
their house.
Like, what does it matter to you?
Is it affecting your view?
Like, what is it?
Yeah.
I think it's one of those things where it's like, technically, I think the
argument you
can make is that I bought this house because the forest was right there, and he's
chopping
down the forest.
Is that what he's doing, though?
No, that's not what he's doing.
But I was like, I don't know.
And I forget what the statute is that they found.
His name was Michael Martin.
But they found some old-ass technicality, right, that the city didn't even know
about
because they approved it.
You would hate that neighbor forever if that guy made you take down your
addition that you
spent 200 grand building up.
Yeah, because that's my thing.
It's like, how is the judge, how can you tell a man, fuck your million dollars?
Right.
Right.
That's what's crazy to me.
And you got approved by the city.
And he can't appeal that?
I don't know.
He's in jail while it's being appealed, and that's what his lawyer's like.
No, because here's the thing.
He can get out of jail any time he wants.
All he has to do is tear down the addition.
He has to tear down the addition.
Yeah, but if he's appealing, why would he tear down the addition?
And then if he wins the appeal, he builds it back up again, and then the guy
appeals the
appeal?
It's also saying that demo's going to cost 800 grand.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
This fucking cunt neighbor.
Yeah, you talk about being fake.
What is the specifics, though?
Am I wrong?
I mean, maybe the neighbor's right.
I'm not going to see how it went down.
Yeah, because what did the neighbor have any?
How could that make sense?
Yeah, it's starting off.
It said, the lawyer for a Tampa couple who asked a judge to fine their neighbor
in contempt
of court over a disputed guest house says there's more to the story than we
first brought you,
Bob.
Of course.
There's always more to the story.
What is he growing shrooms back there?
I'm trying to read it.
It's not sharing.
My old neighborhood, there was this guy who built a house.
And it was just kind of flat.
It was a flat.
It was kind of boring.
It was like just a, it was just like not creative.
The guy was a builder.
He wasn't much of an architect.
And I don't think he hired an architect.
He just had his own idea of how to build a house.
But he got permits and he did it.
But I remember my neighbor complaining.
And he's like, you believe this guy built this fucking house?
I'm like, what is the big deal?
And he's like, you don't think that's an eyesore?
I go, well, it's boring.
It's a boring house.
Like, what do you care?
I just didn't understand it.
But he wanted to like start complaining and get a bunch of people to file a
complaint about
this guy's house.
Local news site.
The location will allow the occupant of the guest house to peer into the
backyard and pool
area of the Babbitt's home.
Oh.
Martin subsequently removed any windows facing the Babbitt's property and
installed bamboo
along the property line to obstruct the view of the guest house.
Yeah, they were mad that you could see into their house.
To their yard where their pool is.
Yeah, that's how it started.
That says that was the initial complaint.
But there's 500 filings that they've had over five years.
Oh, God.
1924 original subdivision said it was public space or supposed to be public
space or something
like that.
Look at that, 1924.
They went and found a 1924 statute.
They're saying that the company he hired that got the approval did that
illegally.
And that's their claim, I guess.
And it all has to do with, yeah.
So, Martin signed a contract with a demolition company and needs to pay $392,372.50
to dynamite
demolition.
What a great name.
I want to get a t-shirt.
Dynamite demolition.
To begin tearing down the structures, Judge Nash rejected them until last week,
finding
Martin in contempt and ordering a writ of bodily attachment, which orders all
law enforcement
to take Martin into custody and take him to jail.
No one is above the law, McLaren said.
So, we just want the court's ruling to be complied with, and that's it.
Boy.
But somebody being able to see into your pool is wild for you to really go
through this much
trouble.
She said, oh, so this general contractor, Julie McGill, is one of the several
outside contractors
and developers I asked to evaluate the case.
She says she can't remember a time when a judge told the city that it didn't
follow its own
code on neighborhood conformity.
Wow.
But see, Mr. Martin, you fucking up the game.
You know what you got to do, man?
You know what you got to do, Mr. Martin?
Just comply.
Okay?
Because you're not going to win like this.
Do what they say.
Pay the money.
Tear it down.
I'm guessing you got the money.
If you've been in a million-dollar guest house with a pickleball court and a
pool just for
your guests, you got the bread.
Pay that bread, and then you take the money you save from not being caught up
in all of
these lawsuits, okay?
And you spend it on revenge.
You hire the most cold-blooded fucking creative people you can think of, and
you make this person's
life miserable in all the legal ways possible, in all the ways where he knows
it's you and
he can't do shit about it.
You hire a bunch of college students, you get them a prize for whoever finds
any statute
that can fuck this man's life up.
That's what you do.
Don't sit in jail.
You cannot take any revenge that cost you something.
It's got to be pure delight.
You know, it's got to be served cold.
That's what they're saying.
The revenge is best served cold.
It's like you have to take care with the dish.
You can't just react emotionally.
It would be weird, though, if you always had a backyard where your pool didn't
face anybody,
and then all of a sudden a dude put a house right behind your pool.
Put up a gazebo, motherfucker.
I'm reading more.
That's not exactly what it was.
It says there was already...
They put together some lots to make one bigger lot, and there was already
something on that.
And so when he bought it, they're like, we don't see any problem with fixing
that, changing
how it looked.
Like, that might be with it.
But here's also the thing, though, Joe.
He offered to block, like, put up a wall and block the...
And have no windows.
Yeah.
Put up bamboo.
And I feel like if it's a good neighbor, that's reasonable.
Yeah.
That's a reasonable compromise.
Go, oh, you know, I didn't even think about...
I can see into your house.
We'll just knock the windows out.
That feels like...
Instead of being like, no, I want you to waste a million dollars.
To me, that's when you became the bad guy.
When he offered a reasonable compromise and you said, fuck no, then fuck you.
Fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you.
I'm telling you right now, they lucky it's not me with a million dollars.
Because I'm Batman now.
I'm Batman and you the Joker.
And I'm going to spend my whole...
I'm going to live my life as no those...
That's true.
Yeah, I'm going to tear it down.
I'm going to sell the house.
I'm going to use all the money from selling this house.
I'm going to use all that money to wake your life hard.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm going to pay people to break in your house and throw...
Don't do that.
That's illegal.
You don't want to pay...
Don't do illegal things.
Let a crackhead do it.
But that's illegal still.
Okay.
Crackhead will rat you out, too.
Then you'll be in jail.
Cut your internet line.
Wait till you call the repair shop.
That's illegal, too.
Have them throw dead mice in the back of your vents.
You can't have it be illegal.
It's got to be legal.
You're right.
It can't be illegal.
It must be legal.
But I just can't think of anything legal right now.
Well, you can sue people for all kinds of stupid shit and just make them go
through legal problems.
Don't sue.
Yeah, just have people outside with a tape measurer.
If they're a centimeter from the curb, call them the cops.
Straight neighbor wars.
Neighbor wars are real, man.
People kill each other over neighbor wars.
Oh, yeah.
The Hatfields and the McCoys.
Ancient.
Yeah, I think that was over some other shit.
There's nothing worse than living beside somebody like this.
No.
It's completely unreasonable, completely unable to compromise.
Nice neighbors are beautiful.
Oh, man.
You have good neighbors, it's great.
I have nice neighbors.
And I have nice neighbors in California, too.
Because here's the thing.
It doesn't take much to be a good neighbor.
You have to be thoughtful.
And in the times that you're not thoughtful, when it's brought to your
attention, you have to have the appropriate amount of shame.
Well, here goes.
It was over a stolen hog.
Illicit romance and longstanding judges.
Two neighboring families in the backwoods of Appalachia.
So, here's the thing about that, though.
I think this is from, is this from Malcolm Gladwell's book?
I forget whose book it's on from.
But there was a book where they explained that what had happened, I believe it's
Malcolm Gladwell,
was it explaining that the reason why the people in Appalachia are so violent
is because they come from hurting populations in Europe.
And so herders in Europe are very different than farmers.
Because if herders, someone can come along and steal all your sheep and you're
fucked.
You can't really steal all someone's corn.
It just takes forever.
You've got to chop it down.
You know what I mean?
So, these people were used to defending their animals with violence.
Because people would come in and try to steal them.
Yes, Malcolm Gladwell, yeah, Outliers, that's the book.
Chapter 6, Hatfield-McCoyd feud is analyzed as a prime example of a culture of
honor.
Where, similar to the findings in this Reddit thread, ancestral herding roots
forced rapid, brutal retaliation for insults to maintain reputation.
This cultural legacy, not just poverty, drove generations of conflict.
So, culture of honor.
Gladwell argues that families descending from Scottish and Irish herders
brought a culture of honor to the Appalachian Mountains.
In these regions, law enforcement is weak and survival depends on establishing
a reputation for strength and prompt, often violent retaliation against slights.
Yeah, that makes sense.
What was the name of the book, though?
Outliers.
Oh, yeah.
It's a fucking great book.
It's a really good book.
Yeah, I have it.
I haven't read it, though.
It's really good.
It talks about, like, why people are successful.
One of the more interesting things is about the Beatles.
In the Beatles, it talks about how they got this gig in Hamburg, Germany, where
they were performing every fucking day.
Every day.
They were doing multiple sets every day.
And they did it for, like, a few years.
And they went back to Liverpool, and everybody's like, what the fuck happened
with you guys?
Like, how'd you get so good?
And they got so good because they were just performing all the time.
I think it was at a strip club.
I think it was something crazy like that.
Like, they were performing music at a strip club.
Like, something weird.
And because of that, they were just getting reps, like, crazy reps.
And I think that's the key to, like, almost anything.
Almost anything.
And this is the argument in Outliers.
It's like, you know, the 10,000 hours of mastery, like, that argument.
Yeah, but wasn't, the 10,000 hours is, it's not exactly what he said, right?
No, it's a rough, because there's obviously people that are savants.
Well, I don't know, I think he modified it because he talked about, it's not
about the amount of time as much as it's about the kind, the quality of
practice.
Right.
So, like, intentional directed practice.
Which would be, like, performing on stage.
Exactly.
For all those.
Where is, what were they doing in Hamburg, Germany, Jamie?
Were they, uh, were they at, were they at a, was it a strip club?
Something like that.
It said they played in clubs and strip bars.
Yeah.
So, there's a lot of places, I guess.
So, they were just going off.
They were just, like, doing as many sets as they can.
Which is the same with comedy.
Everybody that we know that really progressed rapidly, they did as many sets as
possible.
They're hopping all over the place.
Like, guys in our club, like Ari Matty, for instance.
That fucking dude, he'll go up at the sunset.
He'll go over here, go there, go there.
It doesn't show up the mothership.
He's just in it.
You know, he's in it.
Yeah.
You know?
All day.
And when you're doing that, you just get better quicker.
Just get better and better.
And those dudes that we know that do a set a week, you know?
Come in, drop in, do 15 minutes, that's it.
You don't see them again for another week.
They kind of, like, get stale.
They stay flat.
They get stagnant.
They get stagnant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whereas the Beatles just got after it, and then all of a sudden, love, love,
may do.
They just got smooth, you know?
Which makes sense.
That's the case with everything, though.
With, like, everything you do.
Like, you don't want a surgeon that does brain surgery once a year.
You know?
You want a guy who's, like, in it.
Yeah.
He's in it all day.
He's fucking studying journals and practicing with robots.
Yeah.
I'm trying to be your third brain that day.
That's right.
Yeah.
You don't want to be the fifth brain, though.
It gets tired.
No.
Yo, you know, what's funny is I just saw something about, um, they did a, he
did a study at a
courthouse where, and they found that.
They found that the, that judge, whenever the judges had, like, how harsh of a
sentence
you received, uh, was directly related to how long it had been since the judge
ate something.
Oh, yeah.
I've seen that before.
Yeah.
I've seen that.
Yeah.
That's crazy as hell.
That's crazy.
Like, and it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's enough, it's
statistically significant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which makes sense.
Cranky.
Yo, give me.
Or if the judge's getting no pussy.
Maybe he's going through a divorce, you know, maybe his wife fucked her trainer.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give me the, give me the hot judge right after breakfast.
What if you come in and you're, you're a personal trainer too, and you're
dealing with some shit?
The judge's like, my wife just fucked her trainer, you piece of shit.
Some people get real petty like that.
They don't give a fuck about, about, like, doing the right thing.
Oh, hell no.
No, they just want to, they want to feel power, fuck people over, fuck you,
fuck all trainers.
Well, you know, another thing I just found out about is, um, um, I think, I
think that the country's Anguilla, right, Jamie?
They, they, um, so you know how, you know how, like, in America, the websites
are all dot com, and in Russia, it's like dot r u.
Right.
In Anguilla, it's dot ai.
Oh.
Which didn't used to mean shit, but now.
Now it's worth some money.
Now they're making so much money selling domains that it's like half of their
money.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it's completely changed the economy.
Oh, that's crazy, because it seems like you're legit if you have, like, perplexity
dot ai.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
So anybody, anything dot ai, they got to pay these people.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Well, there's so many domains now.
Yeah, just from something we didn't use to think meant anything.
Because it used to be, like, you only had dot com and dot net.
Oh, yeah.
You know?
Like, you never know what the shit, like, bro, somebody just held up a,
somebody, because
I'm on a, one of the, one of the subreddits I be on is called, uh, why would
you touch that
or what is this?
And usually, usually the same posts are on both, because people are like, what
is this thing?
Right.
And then also, why did, why did you, why are you touching it?
So, I just saw one recently, but somebody held up a thing, and they were like,
what is
this, what is this, what does this OF mean?
And it was like, but it, but it was, it was from, so, you know Tyler, the
creator?
Yes.
So, he, when he first came out, his group was called Our Future.
So, this was way before OnlyFans.
Okay.
And so, if you saw OF, you know, before, seven years ago, it meant, that's what
it meant.
Right.
And so, it was one of their, like, stickers or promo things or something like
that, but
this was a young kid, he found it in an attic or something, he didn't know what
the fuck
it meant.
He was like, why is it, because he knew how old it was, so he was like, it can't
be OnlyFans,
what is this?
Right.
Yeah, and it's like, shit changes all the time.
These motherfuckers, they, they, they got this, uh, .ai, they never thought,
nobody
thought they would make any fucking money off of it.
Right.
Now.
Well, there was other, there's other ones like that too, that are kind of
interesting.
There's a bunch of different ones.
I'm trying to remember some of them, but some of them are like .biz.
Mm.
Where'd that come from?
I don't know.
Who, what is that?
Is that a. .
I don't know, but they have that, like, they have .biz for some.
I remember back when that used to mean something, like, we used to have, like,
.org.
Mm-hmm.
I think .edu is still a thing.
Like.
Well, remember when people sell websites for a lot of money, so people would,
like, buy
a bunch of domains and hold on to them, like, business, I think business.com
sold for a
ton of money.
Yeah.
But now, I think it's hard to do that now.
Yeah, what kind of business do you have that people are just looking up
business.com?
Why is that even worth anything?
You know what I mean?
That's like eating.com is worth money.
I don't know if you remember back when, when white, when whitehouse.com was a
porn site.
Ah!
Because the actual site was, it's always been whitehouse.gov.
But that was back when people didn't know.
So, whitehouse.com, so people, whenever anyone was looking for the whitehouse,
they go whitehouse.com,
they go to this porn site.
Do you know what Red Band did?
No.
Do you know the Pepsi Spice thing?
No.
What is Pepsi Spice?
One of Red Band's greatest trolls was he bought Pepsi Spice.com.
So, Pepsi Spice was a type of Pepsi that came out.
And so, Red Band bought Pepsi Spice.com, and then he started documenting how he
was drinking Pepsi Spice, and he was having bloody diarrhea.
That's all he was drinking.
He was dying.
He was getting cancer.
It's like the fucking craziest thing.
I mean, 14 years ago.
So, play the gun full screen.
Oh, 169.
So, he's losing weight.
Hi, this is Brian from PepsiSpice.com.
A lot of people wouldn't believe me, so that's why I'm making this video.
My pee has actually turned, um, not yellow, not white, but it's, um, very red.
It's got a fake accent.
No, so, and I'm not making this shit up.
That's why I'm filming using this, uh, Canon camera, the S, uh, four megapixel
camera.
Um, so.
That's how old this is.
That's pretty gorgeous.
Okay.
Toilet.
Yeah.
I'm going to pee, so I'm just going to.
So, he's, like, pretending that his pee's bloody.
Oh, this guy.
He's so silly.
He just kept doing the, like, he got worse and worse and worse, and eventually,
PepsiSpice
bought it from him.
The hardest part to believe about that video was the 170 pounds.
Oh, he was really skinny at one point in time.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brian, at one point in time, got real heavy, and then went on a crazy fitness
kick.
He got, uh, like, a stair climber in his house, and he was fucking riding that
bitch
every day, and he lost a ton of weight, and he had a photo of him, like, with
his old
jeans.
This is a Pepsi Spice Project.
Pepsi Spice Project.
He's so silly.
But this one, man, he committed a lot of fucking time to this.
It was very funny.
Like, I remember reading it and, like, dying laughing.
I'm like, you're so ridiculous.
Yeah, well, you know, if Red Band decides, fuck you, he can really elevate to,
like, a 50-cent
level of-
Of pettiness?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but this wasn't even, fuck you.
This is just him having fun.
Did they come after him?
I think eventually they did.
But the thing was, like, they were too stupid to buy pepsispice.com when they
had Pepsi
Spice.
Like, you gotta buy that.
Like, who the fuck?
You should fire somebody.
Somebody in your organization is slipping, because he didn't know that Pepsi Spice
was
going to be a thing until after you released it.
So the fact that you knew that you were going to release Pepsi Spice, and you
didn't buy
up pepsispice.com, is kind of crazy.
That is kind of crazy.
Kind of ridiculous.
Yeah.
That's just shitty planning.
That's whoever works for it.
They deserve whatever he did.
Yeah, I try to, when I try to get, because all my social media stuff is BS, and
I try
to get BS.com or BSComedian.com or something like that, and somebody already
owns it.
It was, like, a Canadian improv group or something.
Oh, interesting.
And I was like, well, I'll buy it from you.
And the price they said was so crazy that I was like, what?
How much?
I want to say they asked for, like, $10,000 or something.
And this was back when I, that was, like, I wouldn't pay that now, but back
then I didn't
even have it.
Right.
But I was like, what?
$10,000 is crazy for a website, y'all?
Because it wasn't like they were doing tons of business through this website.
Were they using it at all?
How much would you have paid for it?
Back then?
Yeah.
I would have gave them $1,000.
$1,000.
If they said $2,000, no way?
Maybe.
Maybe $1,500 would have, best and final.
I think today, though, all anybody does is do a search of your name and then
they find
your website.
Like, if somebody wants to find your website, they just search and it's right
there.
Oh, yeah.
But part of me always wants everything to be the same.
And it ended up not being that way anyway because my TikTok is a different
thing than everything
else.
Everything is BS comedian except that.
It's interesting that you have TikTok.
Don't you worry about the terms of service?
Like, all the access they have to your phone and access to computers around
your network
and all that shit?
The Chinese?
I mean, it's American.
Well, now it's not the Chinese anymore now.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
It's like, you know, for me, I've never...
Now it's the Ellisons.
I've never...
Because once Edward Snowden told us what was up, I'm like, they all...
Who gives a fuck?
I care who's spying.
I'm getting spied on no matter what I'm doing.
Yeah.
Yeah, what the Chinese are going to do to me?
They're going to be like, oh, he's...
Basically, they have everything that you've ever done and they only use it if
they catch
you.
So, if they're looking for something, like, say, if you run for Congress and
you do some
insider trading, you do something shitty and they come after you, then they go,
oh, Brian,
it's interesting because we have a voicemail that you left on someone's...
When you were talking about...
They got that shit, though.
They already got it.
They always have stuff.
Somebody got arrested today from Fauci's administration.
They arrested the first guy who was involved in the cover-up of the lab leak
theory and he
was using a Gmail account to avoid Freedom of Information Act requests.
So, he was using Gmail instead of...
This is allegedly...
I don't know what the reality of all this is, obviously, but I'll just read
about it
today.
Ex-Fauci top advisor indicted over alleged COVID cover-up.
Hidden emails.
David Morenz allegedly received gifts, including wine and high-end meals from a
collaborator,
prosecutors say.
Uh-oh.
See, this is why I don't believe in incognito mode.
Yeah, it's all bullshit.
I'm like, yo, jerk off on your mane and delete that shit out your history.
Because all incognito mode is, is just you going, hey, Google, this is the
stuff I don't
want nobody to know about.
Exactly.
Just making it easier for them.
And then they put it in a file.
He's served for years as a top advisor with the National Institute of Allergy
and Infectious
Diseases, um, indicted and is accused.
Your phone's talking to you, dog.
Google's like, you can trust me.
Yeah, Google's like, hey, I, no, incognito mode is legit.
Incognito mode.
Um, so, uh, he was using his personal email account to evade federal
transparency laws
and shield key discussions from Freedom of Information Act requests, according
to the
DOJ, indictment unsealed.
It was also apparently bragging about it, uh, allegedly.
Alleged that Marenz conspired with others during the pandemic to hide
communications related
to a controversial coronavirus research grant that involved collaboration with
the Wuhan
Institute of Virology in China.
The grant was later terminated amid scrutiny or whether COVID-19 may have
originated from
a lab leak.
Isn't it amazing that-
But did he- did- how did they catch him?
Did he-
Well, I mean, they can't get Fauci, right?
This is the- the- the thing, because they wanted to get Fauci.
That's why the Biden administration gave him a pardon from 2014 on, which is
really kind
of wild.
Uh, federal prosecutors also claim that Marenz received gifts from a
collaboration
creator, including wine and offers of high-end meals, and later took steps to
justify these
perks by contributing to a scientific publication supporting the theory that
COVID-19 emerged
naturally, rather than from the Wuhan lab.
So they bribed him to get him to do this, allegedly.
Um, he's one of, I think, a bunch of people that are going to wind up going
down.
There's too many people that are pissed off.
There's too many people- I mean, too much money got lost.
Too many people wound up dying.
Wait a minute, why do you think- why do you think anybody's going to go to
prison?
They never go to prison.
No, you don't know.
This is a new thing.
I mean, this kind of thing is a new thing.
And there's enough people that want heads to roll.
This is a weird thing.
I mean, this is a weird thing where they shut the whole country down.
If you find out that these people actually paid to have this virus engineered,
and they
were lying about it and hiding it and covering it up-
Oh, I see.
That's not what I took from that.
The virus came from the Wuhan lab, okay?
These people were hiding the fact that they were funding the Wuhan lab.
They were funding the creation of this virus.
He was part of a group that was funding them.
And he was also, allegedly, being bribed with things to promote the idea that
it came from
naturally, from natural spillover, versus from a lab leak.
Allegedly.
Who's alleging?
Whoever the prosecutors are, whoever the- I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what they know and what they don't know.
But I do know that, obviously, there was a concerted effort to make it seem
like this came naturally
and not from the Wuhan lab.
There was a giant effort, which is why on YouTube, if you had posted during,
like, 2020 about a
lab leak, if you said, I think it came from a lab, they would literally pull
you off of YouTube.
They would kick you off of Twitter back then.
Before Elon bought Twitter, they would kick you off Twitter.
If you were going on and on about it, this is a lab leak.
I mean-
We living in them times, man.
A hypothetical could fuck your world up.
You can't even, you can't even chew on it.
You can't even, like, have a, play devil's advocate.
Well, you can now.
You can now because of Twitter.
Because Elon bought it.
But before then, when the government was essentially in control, I mean, the
government was conspiring
to control and to limit-
Can you talk shit about him?
About Elon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
People do all day.
They're all day.
Yeah.
All over Twitter.
In his defense.
I mean, I'm sure he blocks them.
But, I mean, he can block somebody.
But you can talk, people talk mad shit about him.
Bro, that motherfucker be on Twitter way too much for how rich he is.
Not only that, how busy he is.
I don't understand it.
A boy busy tweeting.
What's he doing?
But he's busy making rockets and shit.
I mean, I don't understand it.
I don't know how he has the time.
I can't do it.
But he ain't making the rockets.
He got, like, slaves or whatever.
Baaah!
I don't know.
I'm sure he got, like, geniuses chained.
He does.
But he's in charge of a lot of it, man.
I went to the rocket factory during the launch.
Jamie went too.
We all went and watched SpaceX launch.
We went down to the Gulf.
What's the Gulf, right?
Oh, yeah.
They're the main guys.
Bro, you know, they just launched, or they're going to launch on SpaceX.
They're going to launch the new telescope.
Yes.
The, what is it?
The Nancy Grace Roman?
The Roman.
The Roman telescope.
Ooh, this motherfucker is.
These new telescopes are kind of crazy because the more they find out, the more
they find out that, like, oh, we didn't know that.
What's crazy about this one is how fast they built it.
And this is the craziest part.
It's under budget.
Really?
So they built it faster than they said for less than what they said.
And how, what is the power of this one as opposed to, like, the James Webb?
Apparently, so I was listening to this shit.
I was fascinated earlier.
But they're saying, so they weren't comparing it to the James Webb.
They're comparing it to the Hubble.
Because the James Webb is more infrared.
This is more like the Hubble.
But it takes the pictures at the same resolution as the Hubble, but way, way
bigger.
So they were saying that there is not a screen that exists that you could
display the picture on.
Yeah, it's a wide field instrument, whereas the James telescope is near
infrared.
Interesting.
So what is this going to be able to detect that the James Webb can't?
Exoplanets is one of the big ones.
Oh, shit.
Like, way, way, way, way more than we can right now.
Imagine if they find exoplanets and you could see lights on them.
Well, I don't know if that's possible.
One day.
Just imagine.
Imagine how crazy.
Oh, yeah, I think about it all the time.
Fucking crazy that would be.
So, yeah, so see how huge.
Holy shit.
Yeah, it compares more to the Hubble, I think, than the James Webb.
And the type of telescope it is.
Yeah, and just the amount of information that it can take in.
They're finding shit from the James Webb that's freaking them out.
They're finding things that make them question the age of the universe itself.
Oh, yeah.
And this thing is going to do, like, we, because I don't know if you remember
this, but the first time I was on this pod, I told you about the James Webb.
Wait, like, a year and a half before it came out.
What were you telling me about?
I was just telling you that it existed.
Right.
That it was going to change everything.
Yeah.
And.
It has.
And this one is going to do the same thing.
The formation of galaxies is freaking them out.
They find these galaxies that are formed way too quickly.
So they're confused.
And now they're starting to, like, are we wrong about how long it takes to form
a galaxy?
Or are we wrong about the age of the universe?
Yeah.
I mean, there's, there's the, we're wrong about everything.
I mean, we're wrong about a lot of things.
But, but, but, you know, the thing about scientists love being wrong.
Yeah, they do.
Well, especially these kind of scientists.
Yeah.
They love, they love new discoveries.
Like, oh, more questions.
They're not very, they're not dogmatic.
Also, it's, it's very difficult to argue when you get the data back from these
things.
I mean, it is what it is.
We were talking about this recently that they found a black hole that's bigger
than our galaxy.
Oh, well, yeah.
Yeah, that.
What?
Well, I think you were sending me that.
I think you sent me that.
Something, um.
Or it might, may not be bigger than our galaxy or it's commensurate with our
galaxy.
It's like, it's, there's one that they found that was bigger than our entire
solar system.
It was ton something.
Ton 618.
It's bigger than the solar system.
But that's one.
But there was the alpha.
What was the other one that we looked at the other day?
Um, and then we brought it up the other day.
There's one that's even larger than that.
Like, they keep finding these ones that are just impossibly big.
Yeah, because it would have to have been primordial, right?
Like, it would have to have formed.
But this was the question.
They, they said that it was so big.
It didn't make sense that it had enough time to suck up enough stars to get
that big.
That was the problem.
Right.
They were like, there's not enough time from the birth of the universe for this
thing to exist and be this big.
Yeah, because it would have had to have started at a time where the, where
matter wasn't close enough together to even form things.
Oh, it's so fucked up.
It's so crazy.
Yeah.
Just the idea of a black hole bigger than all the way out to Pluto.
A black hole.
Here's the real sad thing.
There's, there's probably, there's, there's a lot of things that we, that are
just not knowable to us.
Like, we just will never know.
Right.
And we, and that's, you know, we just got to accept that.
Like, like you hear, every time you hear them talk about how we're, you know,
we're expanding, the universe is expanding so rapidly that eventually it's
going to be, because it's speeding up.
So eventually it's going to be expanding close to the speed of light.
Right.
And so it's like, at some point, if there's still people on earth by then, at
some point, there's not going to be any stars.
We're going to be, it's going to be expanding so, so rapidly that when you look
up at the sky, you're not going to see anything.
Like, they're going to think, they're going to think that everything outside
our galaxy doesn't exist.
I mean, they're going to see stars, but they're not going to see, they're not
going to know that there's other galaxies.
Because the light, the light won't be reaching us.
Wow.
So it's like, so imagine the stuff that we, that we can't know now, that we
already be on where we couldn't even know.
I think it's called Phoenix.
I think that was the.
They were both part of the same thing.
It's the same thing?
I'm looking at the, everything about ton 6118 says it's the biggest thing they've
ever found.
And how big is it exactly?
88.
It's, oh, I just had to switch.
88.
I just lost the.
Mass is the size of roughly 66 billion suns, I think is what that means.
I don't fucking know what that means, man.
I don't understand.
66 billion solar masses.
That's so crazy.
You can't even really, you can't even really imagine that.
Do you know what they said?
That there are more planets in the, in the universe than there are seconds
since the Big Bang.
Yeah, I, yeah, yeah, that's.
There you go, yeah, Phoenix is surrounding ton 618.
Oh, that's what it is.
Okay.
So Phoenix, eh, the quasar, as a quasar, ton 618 is believed to be the active,
active galactic nucleus at the center of a galaxy.
The engine of which is a supermassive black hole feeding on intensely hot gas
and matter in an accretion disk.
What does that mean?
That's the, that's the disk around the black hole that, uh, like when it eats
something.
That's where, that's where the light is coming from.
Oh, I, when did they discover this?
1950, 60, uh, uh, nature of this object was first known in 57, 13 years later,
1970, discovered emissions from it.
Yeah.
You want to get it, really get freaked out?
Jamie, look up the great attractor.
What is that?
This scary, so there is something on the other side of us that we can't see and
everything is moving in that direction, including us.
And we don't know what's pulling it.
What?
Hidden galaxies discovered in the zone of avoidance.
What does that mean?
The great attractor defeat dark energy.
What?
No, look up.
What is it?
The great attractor is a region of gravitational attraction in intergalactic
space and the apparent central gravitational point of the Lana-Kia supercluster
of galaxies that includes the Milky Way galaxy as well as about 100,000 other
galaxies.
The observed attraction suggests a localized concentration of mass having the
order of 10 to the 16 solar masses.
However, it's obscured by the Milky Way's galactic plane lying above the zone
of avoidance so that in visible light wavelengths, the great attractor is
difficult to observe directly.
Bro.
There's no way you can know everything.
And the attraction is observable.
There's too much information.
So we know everything's being sucked towards it.
What is that?
We don't know.
And it's sucking all these galaxies, all these super galaxies.
Everything's moving towards it.
And we can't tell what it is.
Imagine if it's your job to know what's going on in the universe.
Hey, Brian, write me a paper on what's going on in the universe.
Like, everything?
Everything?
It would never end.
With every new satellite that gets launched that can see into the space, every
new telescope that gets utilized, like, we're fucked.
Here's the other thing, though.
And I could be wrong about this.
I mean, I'm wrong about a lot of shit.
But I think that it's actually physically impossible for you to know even a
fraction of the things.
Because any device that could store that amount of information would collapse
into a black hole before you could get anywhere near storing enough.
So your brain couldn't even hold even a percentage of a percentage of a
percentage of the information.
That makes sense.
We have pea brains.
Yeah.
There's no way we could have that information.
The South Pole?
What is this?
Flat earthers are going to love this.
Okay.
South Pole Wall, or the South Pole Wall, is a massive cosmic structure formed
by a giant wall of galaxies, a galaxy filament,
that extends across at least 1.37 billion light years of space, the nearest
light and consequently part of which is aged at about a half a billion light
years.
The structure and its astronomical angle is dense in five known places,
including one very near the celestial South Pole, and is, according to the
international team of astronomers that discover the South Pole Wall, the
largest contiguous feature in the local volume and comparable to the Sloan
Great Wall at half the distance.
Okay, you just like...
I just were blocked in by walls.
That's all I was getting at.
Aha.
Maybe that's why they're confused.
Maybe that's what they think the Antarctic Wall is.
Or maybe the rest of the galaxy knows that we're a problem and they got us
locked in.
You know, perhaps we'd gotten out before and fucked the galaxy up.
Maybe.
Back in the Egyptian days, maybe that's what they were doing.
Something.
You've seen that shit that they found underneath the pyramids, right?
No.
You haven't seen that?
I don't think so.
What do you mean?
Oh, you don't know?
Okay.
Oh, you don't know?
Kirk.
Kirk.
Oh, you don't know.
Like, he should sell t-shirts.
You ever heard?
Oh, you don't know.
They found these structures.
They use, oh, God, what is it called?
Radio tomography.
Satellite radio tomography.
And it's this ground penetrating shit that they've found these structures
underneath the pyramids that go, like, over a kilometer deep into the earth.
What?
Like, pillars, giant columns that are surrounded by coils that go down into the
ground.
And they've used this technology successfully to detect things that they know
exist, like certain voids that are in pyramids and certain chambers and certain
temples that they know exist underground.
And they've accurately described these things, including they use this radio
tomography on, there's a mountain in Italy that has a particle collider at the
bottom of the mountain, over a kilometer into the mountain.
They built this particle collider.
And this thing, this information, this technology, shows an accurate image of
what this particle collider looks like.
The exact dimensions shows it exact.
And so they're using this underneath the pyramid.
And this guy, Filippo Biondi, this Italian scientist that I had on the podcast,
explained that they've used this underneath the pyramids.
And there's these undeniable structures that exist that go down into the ground,
like very deep into the ground.
So the pyramids are just the top of this immense structure.
When you said Italian scientist, I just keep thinking about him, like, taking a
nap in the middle of it.
Eating pasta, drinking wine, eventually we're figuring it out.
So you're saying that there are machines down there or something?
They don't know what it is.
So they haven't really dug into the ground and investigated it fully yet.
But they know that these sensors, this technology is detecting these structures.
Jamie, show them what it looks like.
So show them the 3D model.
They made a 3D model of it.
I'm shocked that we can't get in there and just go.
That's what they think it looks like.
Okay.
What?
Imagine if that's accurate, if there really are columns underneath the pyramid.
I mean, that just seems so impossible.
It seems impossible.
And there's heat?
No, I don't think it's heat.
I don't think that's what it is.
There's a water table underneath there, too.
And they think it has something to do with the use of the pyramid in the first
place,
that it wasn't simply just a structure, that it had some sort of a use,
and that these columns were doing something,
and that it was probably some sort of a technology.
Look at how nuts that is.
Megastructures underneath the pyramids.
Could you go back to what that one said with the...
Yeah, right there.
Look at that.
Alleged megastructures under Egypt's pyramids,
sparking fascination and fierce skepticism worldwide.
Will you lose something?
No, I'll take it by.
So if it's true, that's nuts.
Yeah, I mean, that sounds absolutely fucking crazy to me.
I'm just thinking about the work that it would take to even do that.
Right, and what kind of a society did that?
And for what purpose?
And it's at least 4,500 years old.
At least, at least.
Yeah, and so apparently those ancient pyramids were before we thought they...
Like, I thought, like, the modern Egyptians built those pyramids.
No.
But the pyramids were ancient to them.
Well, that seems to be the case with a lot.
That's the...
The labyrinth.
The labyrinth.
That's underneath.
It's outside of the pyramids.
This is another insane structure that they found that Herodotus documented way
back in,
you know, thousands of years ago.
But this is all Ben Van Kirkwick from his Uncharted X YouTube channel.
Sort of described all this and explained it.
And they've used scans, ground-penetrating radar to show that there's this
immense structure
that Herodotus described as being greater than Giza itself that's underneath
the ground.
And inside the labyrinth, there's a 40-meter-long metallic object that's shaped
like a Tic-Tac.
So whatever the fuck that is, who knows?
But I think there's a lot of shit from that part of the world that's going to
show us that
civilization at one point in time had reached a very high level.
Like, probably even higher than we are today.
And then it was wiped out, and then we're the rebuild.
But they didn't cure syphilis.
Actually, bro, you know there's a new syphilis?
I heard.
From Michigan or some shit, right?
No, from Washington.
Probably from Michigan.
No, no, it was in Washington.
Washington?
Yeah, the dude, the dude.
A new kind of syphilis?
Well, it's not a...
The dude had two syphilises.
Two different?
Yeah, two ones.
What a dirty pig he must have been.
And they...
Like, the same way that COVID was going through, like, genetic recombination.
So, like, they were exchanging traits inside his body.
Oh, boy.
And creating a super syphilis.
Yeah, and then what happened is a bunch of old ladies kept going to the ER, and
they all
kept describing the same man.
And they...
He spread it.
He was a super spreader.
He was spreading it, yeah.
And he went to the ER, because apparently, like, this...
Whatever strain he has, it just causes you to go blind super quickly and all
these things.
And there's debate about whether he knew he was purposely spreading it and didn't
give a fuck,
because they told him, yeah, you've got to come back.
He just kept fucking?
He just kept fucking and didn't go back.
And then he went...
He didn't go back until he had another emergency, and he went to a different
emergency room.
How many times in human history has that been the cause of a plague?
Because somebody wouldn't stop fucking?
It wouldn't stop fucking and just won't tell anybody.
I mean, how are you going to be mad?
You can't be mad at...
It's five cases of rare ocular syphilis.
Which can cause vision impairment or blindness, identified in southwest
Michigan.
Michigan!
Between March and July 2022, all linked to a single heterosexual male partner.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
All five women, age 40 to 60, he wasn't picky, reported having sexual contact
with the same man.
This guy was a freak.
Yeah, bro.
He was out here fucking.
Fucking people blind.
Because his was crazy.
Imagine leaving the emergency room.
Because the first time he was in the emergency room, they thought he had herpes.
Wow.
And they gave him something for that, and he left.
But imagine coming from the emergency room from an STD scare and going right
back to fucking.
And going blind.
Mm-hmm.
All patients were hospitalized and successfully treated with intravenous penicillin.
No further cases were linked to this man after this treatment.
Woo!
All right, Brian.
Let's wrap this up with super syphilis.
Mm-hmm.
Anything going on?
When it when is you're gonna put your special later. Yeah, when you can put
that out?
I think it's gonna be a summertime July. Okay. Take put my special up on
YouTube come back in July. Yeah, we'll do that. I'll see you tonight
All right. Yeah, it's comedy calm Brian Simpson comedy calm. Goodbye
Thank you.