71 views
•
3 months ago
0
0
Share
Save
Audio
6 appearances
Jim Breuer is a stand-up comedian, actor, and host of “The Breuniverse Podcast.” He is touring in 2026 with the “Find the Funny” tour. www.youtube.com/@JimBreuer www.jimbreuer.com/
Show all
25 views
•
3 months ago
Joe Rogan podcast check it out the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan
podcast by
night all day good to see you my friend yeah you too young Jamie well so I
stopped you yeah we
were getting coffee I said stop hold this so what were you saying which one
first the prostate one
okay so prostate one let's go straight to the day all right that is not really
the deck it's
right it's behind the deck oh this would be I'm an anatomist it is behind the
day is that a word
autopsy so bladder contains approximately five milliliters of cloudy yellow
urine the prostate
is slightly and diffusely enlarged with marked enlargement of the veroo montenum
that's how
I would have said it the testes are unremarkable that's the last thing I want
anybody to say about
my nuts I want them to say wow what a great pair great body but the nuts are unremarkable
unremarkable
so here is a some sort of discussion between him and someone okay uh the guy
says exactly
not clear it affects hormones might have on that aren't replaced by
testosterone the advantage of
taking testosterone there are two different things you can have high
testosterone and still have a need
for viagra because you don't have a prostate right and then Epstein says
correct and then at the bottom
this show another doc hold on let me keep going there so that's an extreme
example I was actually going
to try and move up one level sort of drug enhancing life if you don't mind it
he doesn't mind it I'm sort
of outer space thinking oh so he's trying to juice up so he's saying I'm moving
up one level of sort of drug
enhancing life I don't know what I think he means he's going to start juicing
that's what it sounds
like so he doesn't have it doesn't have a prostate it says another document
that says something about
it after a radical prostatectomy prostatectomy so when they take out your
prostate but that doesn't
necessarily say he had his I think it's a document but he said he doesn't have
a prostate and it says
this patient Jeffrey Epstein it says according to the American urological
association
serum PSA should decrease and remain at undetectable levels after radical
prostatectomy and there's other documents where prostatectomy contacting
doctors that specialize in that
very thing okay so the doctor saying had a radical prostatectomy he's saying he
does not have a
prostate but yet the body from the autopsy and so talks about the prostate is
slightly and diffusely
enlarged so that's not his body
that's what it seems like I don't buy I don't buy that I don't place dead why
would you right I don't buy
his dead either here's the other but however hold on this is from a attorney so
this is like assistant
United States attorney or something so the OCME told me it's signed a
confidentiality agreement in
connection with the investigation into the murder of Jeffrey Epstein
so you almost six months after he died they're asking for a document about the
investigation of the murder of Jeffrey Epstein was that because there was
accusations that it was a murder I don't you know so we talked about this
before that
18 days before he allegedly committed suicide
um his uh he complained that his cellmate tried to kill him and you know who
his cellmate is
who oh you don't know no his cell I'm not Kurt Madsger you don't know
oh you don't know his his cellmate was this gigantic cop who was a murderer he'd
killed four different drug dealers
yeah he was a contract killer this is the the guy that's his fucking cellmate
look at that gorilla that's that's a silverback yeah dirty cop murderer and
then they said hmm
most high-profile witness of all time defend the defendant of all time let's
put him in jail with
a murderer a guy who contract kills dirty cop and then he says they well the
report was they found
him unresponsive with a noose around his neck or an orange jumpsuit turned into
a rope around his neck
and then he said that his cellmate tried to kill him my question in in in does
anyone really believe he
was in a jail cell because i know if i had the guy that can unravel entire
government dynasties and
take down an entire system the last thing dude he's he's somewhere about three
miles underground with
maybe a ball in his mouth with electric rods and he's in israel sipping my ties
correct either place
it's like that video you said you sent this on a runaround we're gonna ask you
one more time or then we're gonna
laser off your nipples i'm telling you right now we need yeah i doubt they're
doing that to him so it's
yeah he's he's either in israel like you said if they had that they would just
get rid of his body
you saw the you saw the picture of the so-called that was him in israel i think
that's ai i think
it's ai too that's a scary thing with ai i think it even had a little ai watermark
on it the one i saw
at least but who knows it could be a real picture that someone put through ai
to put a watermark on it so
that people go oh it's ai right you don't know do you see the lady that they
say looks exactly like
galene maxwell i don't think she looks exactly like galene maxwell i think she
looks exactly like
galene maxwell 20 years ago it's a deep fake it's a deep fake yeah oh okay sim
triple a reposted the
guy that made it he made another video that was not as good where he's like
looking at benjamin netanyahu on
the street it's not it's not i feel like it's good the problem is the aging she
doesn't look aged she
looks younger yeah but i guess that's what happens when you get out of jail and
you get more attractive
yeah you get food you get sunlight makeup a little a little uh exercise taking
some yoga
um yeah is there any video of him in jail is there are there any photos of him
in jail i've never thought
about that before but what you're saying is a good point if you joe if you held
if let's say you were
the person that had all this incredible information around the world bribery do
you really think you
take drug lords you're not killing them you need the information so you're
going to bring him somewhere
you're going to milk him to it however that is whether he's tied up whether he's
you're going to torment
him he'll be like listen i'm telling you right now we're going to take care of
you however i need
to know you say there's tapes right yeah wear the tapes write them down and you're
going to stay
don't feed him don't feed him until we get that one tape and we have these
names in our hands
and that's probably been going on even for months for years you're not you're
not taking someone
like that and going oh we're just gonna put this very viable human being into a
jail cell where
the multiple murderer with two guys making 18 an hour are gonna watch him
sleeping when the cameras
are down stop they pre-production all right so let's get the green screen and
we have him walking
in here sir that looks somewhat and we can release it down the road it's uh it's
it's it's processed
hollywood nonsense i don't buy it okay this is assuming though that he was
working on
his own that he had all this information so if he's not working on his own he's
working for
intelligence agency then they have that information as well so along the way so
there are no secrets
that he's holding they have all the secrets this is much more likely so in
order for him to be in
the position that he was in allegedly working for uh intelligence agencies
working for either
the musad the cia or both all the above i would assume that along the way all
of the information was
shared i do not believe they would let one person have access to all that
information and store it
themselves i think they would have access to it at every step of the way they
would communicate
with him at every step of the way and they would probably have like if i was
running a government
agency like that i would say tell me what's going on what do you have on bill
gates what do you have
on les wexner what do you have on these guys yeah what are they willing to do
what about these
scientists are they willing to fill bogus science papers out and what what can
we do jeffrey epstein
stashed secret files and storage unit across us that may include never before
seen evidence oh
this came out yesterday that when he got arrested he supposedly paid for
investigators to go round
up all of his stuff and put it in various storage units across the country like
it's a wild goose chase
now and like there's stuff maybe no one's ever seen they don't know if they're
still being paid for
they don't know imagine if they found me know those storage unit shows exactly
where they break into
those storage unit shows i don't understand and it happened on the real the
real time one right like they
think they're just getting like old baseball cards i heard those shows are
bullshit my friend of mine
told me that what they do is they'll stock those shows they'll stock those
storage units and then
they pretend that they're buying the storage unit that's been abandoned and
then they get in there
and then they find things but those things were yeah yeah i don't buy any
reality tv i know but that's
awful well it's entertainment i feel duped do you really i do you really
thought one time once in a
while you thought it was real not the government corruption not all the medicaid
fraud not all the
immigration not all the ice stuff no what really bugs me is lying on a storage
unit show i just can't
or like like a cash cab show like are they really contestants these are great
distractions these are the
great distractions to keep us from paying attention yes to what's really going
on in the world the reality tv
there's no there's no reality it's all well produced joe wow how much is it
well produced here's the
question is it really well produced because it seems like this one was a really
shitty production job
that was a production that was a bad that was like low low the only guy making
it is the guy that's
selling the ads well not just the guy who's in charge of it kids right so this
one yeah
so this one why would you let that guy who's gonna eventually get caught i
would assume if you're you
have a thing for kids you have a thing for if you're a pedophile if you're into
like 14 year old girls
i would assume you're gonna get caught and if i had a guy like that or was this
at a time where you
couldn't get caught because there was no internet and then it got to a point
where he had so much power
and control because he'd been there for so long they couldn't they're like oh jesus
christ we got
a problem well he's he's thinking the criminals they never think they're
getting caught period
especially like think organized crime if you're it's it's no different like the
scenes from goodfellas
right you come here what what's the matter with you i thought what you show up
with a pink cadillac
what's the matter with you right what's the matter with you they can't help it
he told everyone don't
spend the money don't look flashy he this guy without a doubt his wife had a
pink coat on remember
that what actually right take it off take it off yeah he gave it to me for my
birthday
take it off what's the matter with you and now that guy there's no this guy he's
just the you remember
the steroids came out in baseball and what they do they were like listen you
got to take a hit you
got to take a hit mark barry bonds you guys you're going to go out we're going
to front you but don't
worry you're going to stay in baseball we'll let it it'll go away in about 10
years but the owners
are not going to get popped the people making the the steroids injected the
people aren't going to get
popped they got popped balko got popped no they got little guys the little ones
no no the head of balko
went to jail i had him on the podcast after he got out of jail what about the
owners that knew it was
what about the agents and lawyers that are supplying their stuff no no no
listen you don't understand
about the baseball thing the balko had developed a victor conte who had been on
the podcast before
yeah was a scientist essentially and he had developed a steroid that was undetectable
because steroids they detect them based on certain molecules and if you adjust
certain molecules it
doesn't show up in the test so he developed this thing called the clear he
called the clear because
it evaded tests right this is to evade the test that the major league baseball
association was doing
and any any drug tests because this was an unknown steroid so this was not
known
by the organizations it was not known by the team it's not known by anybody
people suspected it
because barry bonds through grew five hat sizes and gained 50 pounds of solid
muscle people suspected
it right but the bottom line is you don't know what you don't know and they
didn't know there's
no reason to tell them hey guys we're we're giving barry some secret steroids
he did this
for his own personal gain because he was brought to the attention of this victor
conte guy who
eventually became an anti-doping guy which is really weird he ran snack which
is this thing that like
helps people like uh detect testing and sure use it you know use supplements
that are illegal sure but
that i don't think that was known by everybody i think they kept it all on the
dl because there was
such a blight that was attached to steroid use you were a cheater especially in
baseball which is like
the american pastime be a cheater in baseball well i'll tell you this um i
remember at that time uh
because i was in the you were in tv world tv world and you attract all
different types we did a show
well you weren't on the show back then but on hardball the baseball yeah barry
bonds was on hardball
yeah he was on one of the episodes like third yes i remember seeing i remember
seeing that because we'd
sit and watch my wife and i'm like yes joe because we tried out for the same
thing and i rooted well
you were in the pilot yes i was in the pub but i rooted for everyone i knew
yeah i was just like oh my
god you've always you've always been like that i loved that but back then like
a couple years later
you come friends with certain type of people and lawyers agents blah blah and i
remember uh i remember
one night hanging out you know kind of like wow this is so-and-so who i don't
want to get into names
and all that but they would go um you want to hear some crazy phone calls like
what do you mean it's like
boom and and they they told me 75 and i'm like what 75 75 of what peds are on
steroids i'm like what 75 80
baseball but come on there's no way come on and then he'd play a play a phone
message and i didn't
want to say this for years because i thought i'd get whacked hey i love you so
i remember them going here
listen to this and you would hear like the wives on my life gone if he hits me
one more time i'm reporting
all you i'm gonna do it and then and then he played the next one like hey man
we got a big series coming
up with the dargers i need my like now i need it by blah blah blah so who is
this person calling
these were ball players calling their representation representation so the
representation
what do you mean they're agents okay and lawyers so maybe the agents are the
people that hooked him up
with the people that had the juice which makes sense and then they would talk
the agents want money they
want money and so what's the best way to get money guys got to hit home run
this guy hit home runs he's
got to start felt right ball he makes money i make money that makes sense and
we all make money and then i
start telling if i if i'm not saying this happened but if you're an owner i'm
like hey joe i'm just telling you right now this
guy you want to keep an eye on him he's going to start jacking 20 extra home
runs really
how's he going to do that you'll find out you'll fight you'll we don't need to
talk about that but
next year if you got xyz budget i think he'd like to play so there's there's a
lot there's a lot at play
right and now you're infiltrating children because now you're going to the farm
leagues and now you can't
make it unless you start doing that but that's why i say someone like this guy
with a long network
there's there's so many tentacles right all over the place but you always need
the fall guy
right i mean was he was he the demon yeah but there's a lot of demons did you
see that one
the email that i sent you jamie where he's talking about children for sex do
you remember you know the
email i sent you jamie i sent it the other day i was like well that pretty much
sums it up then
because he actually said it oh yeah yeah yeah find that i sent it to you in a
text message this one's
crazy this one's crazy i've heard so he's having a conversation with a woman
who says that she heard
that there's a place here it is she's very emotional kind loving sharp uh i
think you can become friends
too so here it says a friend aliza told me about a project she's doing
researching a really bad guy
that gets children for sex sent to his island she almost fainted when i told
her that person is me
wow like what okay so that's just there there's no way to interpret that any
other way that person is
me that person is me children for sex sent to his island that person is me holy
shit
that one is crazy that's 2018.
so yeah this has been going on for so this is like right before he got arrested
right
supposedly but when did he get arrested 2019 2019 right one month
i don't know i feel like it was may maybe so this was like but there was an
investigative reporter that
was at the head of all this this lady that was uh really pushing because she
had found out about
his sweetheart deal in 2008 and she started gathering information and pushing
it and that's
what led ultimately i think to his being arrested or what i would say is the
front of like hey we're
doing things well if there's a different body that the autopsy had it makes you
question like was he
ever in that cell or was this person who's in that cell did they sell this
person as jeffrey epstein
right well you imagine the guy in the cell going i am not no no i'm not my name
is harvey
i live on the upper east side i don't know what happened i got a speeding
ticket now next thing you
know i can't go home yes and this poor guy's just getting railed hard before
just sitting there and
he's tying them up on the thing and he's just yeah you're gonna spin him around
for a couple hours
this episode is brought to you by visible folks there's one thing nobody wants
this season and
that's getting catfished and it's not just dating profiles that are putting you
at risk
it's also big wireless carriers you know the type looks great at first promises
a low price but once
you're locked in surprise fees and an expensive bill that isn't what you were
expecting your knight in
shining armor visible wireless it's one line wireless with unlimited data and
hotspot for just
25 a month taxes and fees included now that's a green flag the best part
visible is all digital so
you can switch as fast as you can swipe don't fall for the trap of getting catfished
by wireless
visit visible.com to learn more and start loving your wireless carrier terms
apply see visible.com for
planned features and network management details is there any photos of jeffrey
epstein like in
that are that are well here's the thing are they real in a jumpsuit like in
court in jail getting
arrested is i was trying i'm looking for when you arrest big figures he was a
big figure it's a big
to do yeah you're like jeffrey what you do what about the children care to
comment on the children
what are you doing with the children jeffrey why did you need 330 gallons of
sulfuric acid they didn't
know about that what are chickens what are chickens like i don't know what's
going on what is jerky
what is jerky well no one knew any of that stuff back then if he was alive now
for sure those
questions be shouted out what is pizza and pasta what happened at obama's white
house
what is pizza pizza's mentioned like 900 times it's a little weird as a code
clearly as a code
you know how crazy i felt for the longest time like i'd just be in a coffee
shop and like you guys don't
you guys you don't know like oh yeah jim's a little wacky but now it's it's
coming see that video we
played the other day of this guy at the airport just yelling out yes you guys
are going out about
your business no it's a guy he's like the files have been released yeah i saw
that and they were
they were going and you're all just gone about your business the files are
released kids are being
tortured which but my question was like what do you want me to do what do you i'm
flying atlanta
what do you want me to do i got a gig that is what do you want me to do scream
and yell at
everybody get arrested how's i going to fix anything this all happened 10 years
ago what do you want me
to do and what do you what do you do at this point because like it's uh we don't
do anything at the
airport you know you're going to the airport right like i gotta get home my
wife's my wife's mother but
that's like a lot of people online they're very performative screaming and
yelling we're going to
do this we gotta do what do you what do you what do you want us to do that's
their jurisdiction yeah
well it's it's outrage farming outrage farming i like that you're outrage
farming imagine going to
that length though you're just like you know what i really didn't like anything
you said and uh you
have no right being like who's taking the time you know but it's people that
are trying to farm for
attention they're trying to get extra attention or it's people that just aren't
that good they're
not that smart have you when's the last time you engaged with anyone online
that was like rogan you're
this or your that was been a long time long time right no yeah long time but up
until that up until
that time bro i watched fucking lewis j gomez do it every day i'm like lewis
what are you doing
what are you doing you psycho stop arguing with people online and calling them
losers
yeah no and comparing your life to theirs like don't do it because you don't
know what you're dealing
with you have no clue what you're dealing with not only that it's like it's a
bad frequency to get
your brain caught up in there's so many other things to think about correct
there's so much going
on in the world there's so many interesting things in life and the problem with
social media algorithms
and any kind of algorithm that you get sucked into is it it funnels you into
this way this is what the
information that you're getting most of the time you're getting a lot of bad
information a lot of
outrage farming and your frequencies like the way your brain thinks funnels
down that pathway and you kind of
lose control of it instead of having access to all the wonderful things in the
world there's a lot of
amazing fascinating curiosity driven people out there that are you know making
videos about all kinds
of stuff and you could instead pay attention to that stuff well that's yeah you're
trapped i used to
say that even just about news i remember being a kid and if you look at every
newspaper and you just watch
all the headlines for the news everything is i would sit there and go okay
something bad happened down
here in brooklyn something why why do you spend every page or every headline of
something negative
you had eight to ten million people living in this vicinity why do you harp on
just propaganding and
looking because they're trying to make money and then i don't it's really
simple it's really simple
that all these major newspapers are struggling all of them badly and the only
way to get attention is
clickbait now because most of the stories that you get are online very few
people are buying physical
newspapers anymore no more they're dead yeah not only that during covid i think
they kind of nuked their
all their credibility there's a lot of people that just feel like they're all
bullshit artists now it was an incredible exposing of of all information during
covid what is this
they say this video is him he sent this to two women from detention from from
detention all right let's see
it's very it's weird i had to borrow the scotch tape to get the pictures on the
wall
okay so why do i have why do you have to see that thing over his face i don't
know i'm pretending i'm
talking to darren hi darren you guys have a good time you can see i have a
little sore on my face
that i got from some black guy trying to kiss me it's really disgusting with
his thumb oh it's really
anyway i have pictures up on the wall i had to borrow the scotch tape to get
the pictures on the wall
i'll talk to you guys later okay so that's him in detention he said somebody
tried to kiss him
he's pretty calm but he almost got raped dude it's pre-production all right so
listen just
come in the room and say that somebody tried to kiss you you got to be into it
like that's take number
12 like god damn it jeffrey god damn it do you need a coke you need a wine i
need you most stressed out
you don't seem like a guy in jail so a guy who hasn't been sleeping well he
seems pretty well
rested yeah so you know my whole uh life is bad right now i just you know they're
bringing me in
some guy tried to kiss me it's kind of a bummer cut what that wasn't good all
right let me try it again
all right doing it right now all right lighting good here we go let's the fuck
out of here the best
intelligence organizations that can overthrow foreign governments would
probably have a plan if they
wanted to get the guy out and pretend that somebody else died in his place it's
it's been from the
beginning of time no yeah from the beginning of time the beginning of time well
especially with like
modern stuff because you can with modern masks like remember the tall biden
there's not a chance in hell
that was biden i i feel so redeemed my wife used to get so mad at me so mad at
me my kids would get
so mad at me and i would i would say it everywhere i'd say it on stage i'd say
on social media i'd go i
don't care what you say that is not joe biden you know there was also that in
the files too they were
call me crazy and now all of a sudden they're like oh no he was he was executed
isn't that what they
said executed that seems us bro i went down there's a lot of those emails are
just emails right are you
first of all epstein is dealing with prostitutes people that are willing to get
prostitutes he's
dealing with a lot of criminals and weirdos and a lot of those people are
probably full of right so
just because somebody writes something in an email doesn't mean it's a fact
however when you see
the video of tall biden pull out pull out tall biden come on man he grew he
grew and then he went back
like they they might have put him on some and then he shrunk back down again
and and his eye
color would change this one right like uh yes that one like look at the
difference he's like six nine
look at it that's a robot send out the robot you got a video of him walking out
there because when he
walked look how long his legs are look how tall he is this is absolutely insane
like who's watching this
going yeah no that's the same guy not only is he taller but he moves better he's
more relaxed when he moves
it was i joe it's like a guy doing an impression of joe biden yes look at his
but look how long this
guy's legs are this is what's crazy but rewind that as again please hold on
here it is it's good it's
starting from the beginning but it's good it's right there it's good just play
it yeah it's starting
from the so here's when he walks out look at how long his leg this guy's a
basketball player he can look
how tall he is first president i can dunk i mean just stop pause it right there
please right there
pause it pause it just the physical frame yep when you look at the length of
his legs that's
extraordinary that's not like jeffrey epstein's prostate no testicles no he's a
whole different
that is a tall man like there's no way that's a short man there's no or there's
no way that's a normal
like what was how tall was joe biden supposedly six feet six one maybe how tall
was he supposed to be
the real joe biden tall the pre-2019 i said was like he's dead i'm saying he's
dead i'm saying he's
long gone wherever he is six feet okay i'm putting it back again six feet tall
okay six feet is like
you know on the tall ish side that guy is no taller than six feet there's that
is a tall man look how
look at the proportions from his legs to the width of his shoulders the length
of his legs that's a
very tall man who's the casting director for this i mean just being charitable
that's a three inches
taller man at least maybe the the other joe biden you know got sick that day or
his wife died that actor
died and they're like we need a another joe biden quick and then this one
showed up like oh my god
just forget it people believe everything send them out if you have a guy who's
the president and
it's he's known to be of poor health there's probably going to be times where
he's supposed
to make a public appearance that's not that important but it's important to
just show his face
well you got to like keep him in a hospital bed somewhere and so you get a guy
you put the mask on
him did you ever see the walk the the the walk yeah his shuffle that guy doesn't
walk like that
that's it it's a robot walks like an athlete it's a robot wait a minute what he
looks like a robot
no he looks like a guy with bad knees and a bad back back um you think it's a
robot i'm taking i don't
know what it is no it's an old man who can't walk good i'm putting my chips in
do you think you can
program a robot to walk like an old man have you it didn't look like a video jim
the robots are not
that good yet they trust me i'm friends with elon the robots they're good but
they're not that they
look like robots they don't look like humans yet you put you put a little suit
and jacket on them put
them up and you just videotape for three seconds no why would you do that three
seconds it's a guy
all right no i agree this one's a guy but there's other ones from like what is
this one jamie same one
that's the same better version of it i was just replaying it okay no that's not
a robot that's
there's ones where he's walking on the lawn and his legs like what does he do
with his legs it's
crazy looking jim like neurologists have looked at this he walks like a guy
with dementia that's how
they walk my dad had dementia he didn't walk anything like that okay not all
people with dementia walk
like that but it's typical of the way people walk when they don't have control
of their body anymore
like he fell down a lot like it's very like the bicycle went down i got it it's
a lot of things
he fall down walking upstairs remember yeah i remember three times i remember i
you think it's a
robot i didn't say it's a hundred percent robot i'm saying i will put my chips
in i'm i'm at the
poker table and like you're really going in all in that that was not joe biden
i'm going all in
that's not joe biden never was okay from 2020 on it never was i don't think
this is a productive line
of conversation but um this is me i get it yeah watch this what yeah what but
that's he's walking
in sand and he's old as dude he's walking in sand i get it if i walk in sand
and i'm drunk i look just
like that he's got a lot of blood thinners there maybe they got to his head i
don't know he's got
a stent i just jamie i'm gonna send you something this is state of the art
right now when it comes to
uh robots and it's pretty good man pretty good but it's not that um it's these
are robots that can
actually do martial arts it's very impressive i feel like i just saw something
like this it was frightening
it's from china yeah it's from china so go full screen on this this is really
interesting so you
got these kids they get out there and um these robots do martial arts with them
like look at this
it's really wild man i mean it's pretty human now it's movements if they had
suit and ties on they
can pass for a president not yet not yet but look at these things they can do
back flips like this is
crazy they do wheel kicks come on it's really nuts man so just imagine these
things with ars
just running into buildings gunning people down because that's what's coming
bro there's a place
they're going to be bulletproof they're going to have night vision heat vision
insane hearing
there's a place in florida bro that have the uh out in the everglades it's like
this this farmland
you never see anyone there but they have the the mechanical robot dogs yeah patrolling
everywhere
and spraying the fields it's the dog spray the field there's like all different
types of machines that
come up and that will like spray the field and they have these the dogs that
patrol everywhere it's
wild you can buy one i never saw you that you can buy them now yeah you can buy
those robots
yeah les was telling me about it i think i want one lex friedman uh he actually
works with
robotics like he was uh an artificial intelligence uh engineer before he ever
started doing podcasts
you're like you're like the movie the fifth element when the chick when the
chick came and she got all
the information like who's i'm always fascinated you have so much information
like brilliant insight information
who's left on on your list where you're like i gotta i want to look at i need
to speak with so
and so oh there's a ton of people there's always new uh you know like i get a
list of uh
every week multiple days a week i get a list of potential guests and so i go
over the list and uh
a lot of it are scientists a lot of it is like people that are doing
groundbreaking research on like
neurodevelopment genetics there's a lot of them that come up that are cosmologists
uh that are working on
you know just bizarre theories it's it's so there's always someone that's
working on some
you know like very high level of some esoteric line of you know some kind of
discipline that i've
got very little information about there's always interesting people that blows
my mind
yeah blows my mind i tried talking to anyone even some of the words i'm not
educated very well i mean
they start saying certain words and i'm just i'm already i'm not formally oh no
well i mean i only
went to college for three years and i was barely paying attention i never paid
attention i was only
going to college so that people didn't think i was a loser it was i was really
yeah i was doing it
while i was fighting and then i was doing it for a little bit while still doing
stand-up but i was
only doing it so that no one thought i was a loser really yeah is that more
that was that like a home
thing like no it was where i grew up you know a lot everybody was going to
college i went to school
at a really good high school newton south in massachusetts and a lot of the
kids were
you know real ambitious and wanted to go to college and get degrees and i was i
did not
want to have a job i was like what am i doing i was like very feral and at the
time all i wanted
to do was compete i was just doing martial arts tournaments all the time and
there was no money in
that you know so i was like what am i what's my career going to be like what am
i doing
so this is weird period so i said let me just go to college so that no one
thinks i'm a loser so i
took a year off school so from uh graduated at 17 so for the next year i didn't
i didn't go to school
at all i just trained i don't know the story so when did you when did you go i'm
going to start doing
stand-up when i was 21. wow and what and you did you have that desire before
then not really
no i was a fan of stand-up i love stand-up i was talked into doing it by my
friend steve
he's a good buddy of mine steve graham because i would make people laugh in the
locker room it
was like he was a guy i did taekwondo with and he's like dude and another good
friend ed shorter same
thing ed and steve were two guys who i was real tight with that you know i
would make fun of everybody
and just we were always just joking around right and i wanted a lot of
attention i was young you
know we all did yeah i did so that was uh that's how and then i went to an open
mic night and i
realized oh these people are all they suck they're beginners like oh you could
be a beginner and then
i thought about it just like martial arts if you just work at it you can get
better at it you know so
if you're just like a little bit funny if you can just kind of figure out what
it is about you i was
like this is fascinating it was like a whole new puzzle but i didn't know if i
could ever do it for a
living i was really so confused when i was 21 because i had really kind of
decided to stop fighting
and i was still doing it a little bit but i had like one foot in and one foot
out which is not good
and then uh i didn't have any prospects like what am i gonna i'm already 21
like i should have already
graduated from college by now or be close or getting ready to work on a master's
i should be doing
something like a lot of the people that i went to high school with or i should
have a trade like a lot of my
buddies that went into carpentry or electricity you know there's i didn't have
a like career other than
teaching so within a couple years you start because you and i both fairly
quickly started getting in
good positions and because if you were 21 i'm going to say by 25 26 my like 26
you're on uh hardball yeah
wow wow yeah yeah we were really young that's crazy that's that's crazy lucky
fast that happened
yeah yeah stupid fast same stupid fast and stupid lucky because i didn't have
any aspirations to ever
be on tv there was no part of me that wanted to be an actor on tv zero it was
never an ambition
at all which probably helped me because when i went in and you know talked to
the people and did auditions
and shit it wasn't like oh my god this is my dream it was like so what do you
guys want me to do okay
yeah i could play a baseball player okay and they just love the fact that i was
you know i had a
background in athletics i i knew a lot about you also would murder like none
other at the laugh factory
you would go up and i remember the disney executives because that's who did
that i remember them sitting
in the back watching you you did the um the lions or whatever tigers the tigers
mating and it would just
the place would lose their shit do i get you and it was captivating watch it
was howling funny and i'll
never forget just looking at the executives and i don't remember their name i
just remember he had a
mustache he had a he had a dark mustache dark hair he's from he's from colorado
he was like oh my god
joe is just so goddamn fun i can't i can't take it so you i mean wow that's
pretty awesome in that
short period of time i wish i had no actually i won't say i wish i had your
mentality then i have it
now meaning back then i had the desire like i want i want i'm gonna start
buying satin clothes
i'm gonna start getting nice clothes
the first time i went out there i bought satin blue uh pants and satin blue i
was like i'm gonna
be in hollywood i was so retarded so retarded well but you had this whole other
i remember seeing you
and you were like we were at some hotel and you were just so you're like yeah i'm
gonna go play pool
and work out you wanted you weren't like what no i'm looking for rock stars and
actors on melrose
and you're like yeah well i'm not doing that i'm going to the gym and i'm
worried i'm like
you're gonna miss out and
but i really admired i loved and i admired
that about you so much oh how but i was never interested in like hollywood
stuff it just was
not that interesting to me to be around a bunch of famous people and feel weird
i was like i just
rather be around normal people i'd rather play pool rather go to the gym i was
like that until i was
around famous people that way like yeah okay this is uncomfortable i want to go
home yeah go back
home oh i tried to move back to new york i would have moved back to new york
except i had a lease i
had a lease on an apartment when hardball got canceled i was ready to go back
to new york i was
like this place this is too uncomfortable for me and again i never had any
aspirations to be famous
and definitely didn't have any aspirations to act it was just money they gave
me a lot of money to be
on a sitcom and i was like okay i just couldn't believe how much money you
could get in a week like
this is crazy it was crazy yeah it was like more money than i made in a year
and i could make it in
a week i was like this is nuts especially because i went from broke yeah to
being on a sitcom
yeah i i remember those same things like you're not making any money and then
all of a sudden here
you're going 25 to 50 000 a week you just come in camera block here and there
you don't even have
to be the star it was bananas what but then when i got on news radio i was like
oh this is a whole
different kind of a thing like this is a really good show with really good
writing and really good
actress i was like this is fun like that i enjoyed a lot but it's the world of
uh acting is long days
and it's not what i like to do the most so it was like you know it's it's great
but you can get sucked
into that velvet prison and then you know you'd be like i'd be talking to my
friends and be like yeah
i just did a week in florida it was awesome went in there on wednesday and i
was i was realizing like
these guys are selling out on the road and they're traveling all the time they're
having all this fun
i'm like they're doing what i wanted to do which was like stand up like on the
road right i was only
doing like small sets in town i was only doing like 15 minutes at the laugh
factory 15 minutes at the
store you know it's like the real comedy was like headlining doing an hour
really developing your act
right and it was like i enjoyed doing news radio but i didn't enjoy it as much
as i enjoyed being
around comics doing sets being at the clubs laughing all the time it's like a
different kind of people
the actor people were all worried about what the other actor people were doing
they were all worried
about like like what rating we were what number we were in the ratings correct
yes and that's all they
would talk about dude we were at a table once and when they were all bitching
about how you know we
were on you know whatever night we were on we moved like nine times over five
years and back then there
was no internet so you couldn't tell people that you're not on monday night
anymore you're not on
whatever it was and so they were all bitching and getting pissed because sex in
the city was on this
time slot and the single guy was in this time slot and if we were there we'd be
number two or whatever
right and i was like guys last time i checked we're on tv yeah like this is a
dream yeah we're not
number one but we have a funny show and we're on tv just fucking enjoy the ride
yeah and it was a great
show it was a lot of fun it was a great show and you did well but yeah there
that world just never
it's but it was just so lucky to get it so quick you know i was on news radio
six years into doing
stand-up yeah and it didn't make any sense to me but it's also why i wasn't
nervous about it it was
like it seemed so normal to me yeah okay this is the job i'm doing but it was
because i didn't want to
do it not not that i didn't want to do it but because it wasn't it wasn't like
in my ultimate dream
well that's that made me laugh i saw you years later and i don't know if it was
uh
if it was uh a fear fact or whatever and someone snarkily like in in a snarky
way we're like
why did you why would you take this and you're like because they're paying me
fucking retarded money they offered fucking retarded money like you wouldn't do
this for
whatever the episode and i just it made me laugh so it's just you gave the real
answer
like if i offered you whatever program i'm going to offer you i don't know uh
20 million for two
years you're going to go i'm not doing that that's ridiculous why would i use
why would i leave my
sanitation job to money equals freedom and that's what people need to
understand like if you can make
a pile of money you get fuck you money and then the key is don't be chasing
fuck your mother and
fuck your family and correct the world money correct stick with fuck you money
but just make sure you say
fuck you so make sure you don't do things you don't want to do and so when fear
factor came along i
initially took it because i thought it was going to be cancelled immediately i
was like it was i was in a
development deal with nbc and they they sent me this thing and i was like what
the fuck is this
they're gonna stick dogs on people like i was laughing i'm pretty sure i was stoned
when i first got the
pitch yeah and i read i go this is hilarious and i don't know if my manager
even wanted me to do it
i don't remember i think they probably wanted me to hold out for a sitcom and i
was like are you
fucking kidding me this is hilarious let me meet with them and they didn't like
me at first because
i came in and was making fun of it and they thought it should be scary because
this was fear factor
right and i was just joking like i came into the the meeting i was probably stoned
yeah i came into the
meeting and i was just cracking jokes about everything and laughing and they
didn't but then
david hurwitz who's a friend of mine who was one of the producers on the show
he's like no no no look
the whole world's gonna be laughing at us yes it's way better if the host is
laughing yes it's way
better yes like let's just try it like the lunacy of what these what lengths
these people go to
they were gonna go live like a sportscaster or something you know what i mean
here we are in fear
factor fear is not a factor for you by the night maggie from wisconsin is gonna
get in the tank
yeah that's awesome yeah so it's just luck a lot of luck man a lot of weird
luck i've had a lot of
weird luck my whole life like even even coming here is weird luck even opening
up the club weird luck
why you say that because a lot of things have to happen in order for this club
to to exist right
a lot of things have to happen first of all the coveted thing has to happen
right so and it has to
happen in california where they have very restrictive laws and everything gets
locked down and we can't
perform for like i think the store was shut for a year and a half man are you
serious yeah california
was nuts with covet but over here like almost immediately you could do shows
right like we
were the cap city was doing shows and they had people separated before they
went under
they just had like the tables moved like six feet apart which was retarded didn't
mean anything yeah
and then um when we started doing shows at the vulcan that was in like november
of 2020.
so that was pretty soon after you know the rest of the world was still like
completely like california
and new york were still completely restrictive and texas was pretty pretty wide
open and so i i have to
have the kind of money that spotify gave me yeah and then i have to be so dumb
that i'm in the
middle of this giant deal i'm like i'm just gonna move to texas which they were
like what are you doing
like you need to be in la that's where your studio is that's where the guests
are right and i was like
i'm flying like at least two or three people a week out to los angeles i bet i
could get them to fly to
texas yeah but it was a it was a dumb gamble it's like it's not a smart move so
but so it has to be
like the spotify money it has to be everything closed down and then it has to
be the store closed down
because the store closed down allowed me to get guys like adam eget and you
know and from the store
yeah all the people that worked at the store came to work for me that's like
one of the big secrets
jody the managers like a lot of the people that are at the mothership came from
the store and they
were unemployed yeah but i wouldn't take it i wouldn't i i like your approach
is it luck no but
it has to it has to be some otherwise it doesn't happen because if there's no
luck then if there's
no coveted lockdown then all these comics aren't willing to move here correct tony
hinchcliffe right
tom segura interesting christina pozitsky brian simpson everybody moved here
right so the only reason why anybody would move here is because california is
locked down if the
store was hopping and they would be like why they wouldn't leave yeah why am i
coming right yeah so
it had to be like a place where you could go and you know and then you have to
have the resources to
do something like that so that has to be like the spotify thing like it's like
so many things have
to fall into place where it's that kind of a gamble makes sense yeah it's a lot
of luck man it's a lot of
luck but it's also a lot of decision making and a lot of you you you're very
thoughtful and and you're
the walk that you walk creates an energy and it's an it's it's it's very
powerful it's very inspiring
and i do believe in that stuff like the way you've walked most of the life that
i've known you has
been you you're probably you inspired me so much years ago years and years ago
you came on my radio
show and and you literally started talking and you called in and i remember i
just told everyone just
be quiet just be quiet and let him go and just i knew at that moment you were
going to be changing
like culture if that makes sense you you went into this you went into this deep
conversation about
we are we are shifting in humanity and basically you you said we're either
going to
um live for truth or you're going to be a liar like leech type thing it was
very powerful and
um i think eventually i was like you know put pink floyd behind and put that on
something on the
internet it is it is one of the most because i wanted the world to hear what
you said it was such a
like no other pastor could say no one could say it the way you said it so yes
it is all luck but i do
believe that presence that you put out and that energy it's it's trusted and it's
it's uh it's a
force that opens doors without even you knowing it because it is all for uh the
good in my belief
uh but anyway that's my little well thank you well you you inspired me too dude
because when we first
start working together the one of the worst times i ever bombed ever was uh i
was headlining when i
really shouldn't have been headlining i really didn't have an hour and you and
i did a weekend
together somewhere like west nyack new york or something like somewhere yucky
like a holiday thing
but uh i did okay every show except the late show saturday night you murder i
do you murdered and i
remember being so nervous i was so nervous and i went on stage nervous and i
just ate a dick
and i remember it was like one of the worst bombings i've ever had in my life
and i remember thinking
at the time boy i gotta correct something first of all i can never go on stage
that nervous again
i was like what was wrong was wrong was instead of laughing at you and going on
stage having a good
time i was nervous about my own performance which is like a self-defeating
mentality yeah and i had to
realize that which is also one of the reasons like it really i might my stand
up bumped up a lot after
that weekend it really did because i really worked on it hard because the
bombing was bad it was bombing
is bad it was a but this was a bad one i was supposed to do 45 i bailed at 35 i
got in trouble
i was eating dick dude i was eating dick it was horrible but um the same thing
happened when i would
take joey on the road with me and the reason why i would take joey on the road
with me is because he
was so hard to follow so i said okay i thought of it just like training
partners yes like you don't
want to spar with a guy who sucks you want to spar with a guy who's better than
you right so that you
can you could get to his level yes and so with joey joey was so loose and so
free and he was so
silly and i was more rigid and i tried to do more set up punchline stuff but i
was you know i was only
whatever eight nine years in whatever it was i was still trying to like figure
it out and joey had
a rhythm to him he's just so loose and i'm like this is gonna help me let me
just take this guy on
the road with me first of all he's the best guy to hang out with he's so much
fun he seems like i love
him to death i never got to hang out with him i only never hang out with joey i've
only got to see
him on here and some other places i know he's the best he's so everybody
everybody's like he's so fun
like when you're around him it's all hugs and laughs and he's the party you
bring joey anywhere
the party's with joey when we'd go to dinner we'd have as much fun at dinner as
we would at the show
right he's the entertainment well he's just a great social engineer like he
would like the he would
like fucking be the the maestro that would get everybody going we would be
laughing and then we'd
go to the show we have a good time and i learned to laugh at him because he'd
be murdering and i'd
learn to take that momentum of laughing at him and carry it into the energy of
my performance yeah
so it was like it was a good thing because a lot of people want the opposite
they want the guy going
on before them to suck so they look like a hero yeah no i don't want that there's
a lot of people
out there rocking that fucking scheme i like i like what you said i like a guy
hitting hard yeah and
then the nights like even i have i have uh brian mckenna opening for me right
now and there's nights
like we're i think we're in louisiana and i was like oh shoot i gotta get up
like what is he doing
and that makes me go oh all right i gotta stay crystal clear like i've got to
bring it to
this whole level he's making me i love if someone makes me work loves well it's
not just that it's
also that the crowd gets their money's worth yes a bunch of people came out to
see you like i've gone
to see friends that are really good comics that i really love and then i go to
see them and
they have an opening act i'm like jesus christ i gotta go to the bathroom i
gotta go sit outside
for 20 minutes and wait for this to to end that's a bad place to be whether it's
your buddy or not
they do it because they want a light opener like ron white's open about it like
he he talks about you
do you better than me you're getting fired he doesn't give a fuck but it's that
you know i love ron but how he's
still out here no but yeah he's out here yeah he's at the club all the time he's
there tonight
okay yeah ron or tomorrow night rather ron's the best he's the best okay he's
the he's another reason
why i came here because he was already here ron moved here before the pandemic
oh wow yeah he moved
here in i think 2018 or 19 somewhere around then and i was like wow what if he
would he had a place in
beverly hills that he kept still so he'd come back and forth but he was like i
love austin you never have to
leave if i'm gonna want to fly anywhere it's the middle of the country the
people are nice the
food's great and i was like can i live there no that's what my thought was like
i can't live there
ron is the type of guy too that he doesn't realize how good he is and how
popular he is sometimes
he literally don't ask me why he called me i have no oh i i remember it was
some bizarre connection
he's like hey jim uh i i keep getting asking to play in london and i went oh
you will murder murder
in london he's like i don't know i mean i do it i mean i don't know i i'm like
ron if you were to play
scotland england ireland like you you're gonna have a whole new you're gonna
murder he's like i
don't know if they were please i'm begging you at least just to take the gig
please just take the gig
and this is this was a couple years ago and apparently he did do it i was like
did you he's
like man of course you did especially his style he's funny he's very humble
though ron is a very
humble guy yeah he's a you know he's a great guy he's the best well that's why
i like i like to come
in here the first time because what i like about here's i reached a point where
i have my following
i have my crowd and if i'm working out stuff even if it's in an hour they're
going to be patient with
me because they like me and they've been on my journey right but if i were to
go into a club
and do 15 minutes i better i better they're not my a lot of them don't know me
and i have to
it and i remember the first time i came here i didn't want to go on stage i
used to go and say
i'm like i don't know i'm like i'm going stage wow it was like okay uh yeah i'm
not wow seven more
okay i didn't even finish my setup yet this is this made me this place made me
want to start working
harder again and go hey man you gotta you gotta put the gloves on not that i
had any lack of confidence
of what i put out there for an hour but those short little 15 minute when they
see everybody
it doesn't matter it's even playing field it's pretty awesome well it was great
that was great
about the store too like you'd get a night where you had like seven eight
national headliners in a row
you know i i saw that one and they don't care after a while just bring the
funny i saw
someone from a huge sitcom go on stage place loses their mind even i was a
little like oh wow
oh wow and about they did the shtick of their character and about five minutes
in they were like
okay yeah we're done you're gonna you tell jokes or you're just gonna be the tv
guy and it's like they
don't they've seen everything you got to come with the good you got to work it
tv guy thing we used to
see that all the time in l.a too well that's what led to kramer that meltdown
well that's who it was
yeah that's i didn't want to say i didn't want to say but he he first walked up
i was like oh dude i
know and then after about five seven minutes yeah and this one was at the
improv and i'm watching like
oh wow oh wow he don't have material he's just wow which is crazy they turned
on him quick imagine
thinking that you could do 15 minutes with no material i just don't understand
comics make it
look easy you know how many people go how many people have you met that go you
know what you
inspired i'm gonna i'm gonna start doing stand-up okay some of them you're like
please don't yeah like
okay i still get i'm starting next here's my friend they'll send me a set of
their first set like
you comedians make it look like we just walk up and just wing it well it's also
guys used to
performing in front of a live audience when he does a sitcom and everybody
loves them and if he could make
people laugh for a minute he thinks he could probably make people laugh for
multiple minutes right just
keep it going just do the same thing for 15 minutes and the low side of us are
just back then i i root for
everyone but those guys walk off you're like go down there's nothing more we
don't like anybody that's
half stepping right no half in not really doing it right like you're just
taking up 15 minutes from
someone that could be doing it correct i used to uh do you know neil brent not
neil kevin no i don't know
kevin very well um i've met him i'm sure i remember him doing sets in new york
back in the day kevin would
get so pissed because uh wow what's the good he's a famous guitar player oh my
god john mayer yes john
so kevin would come in he'd come in to the radio and be like he's going up he's
doing 20 minutes
and he sucks i'm like i i can't go to madison square garden and go give me the
guitar for 20
it's my time since comics would get really edgy they didn't care who you were
they go in i'd love to
listen you know he would rant and i would howl listening around of course i
would prod the tiger
once in a while when he starts going
fucking crazy
fucking john mayer all right i get it you play get off the stage
yeah comics are very territorial about the art form extreme like when someone
tries to do it that's
not a comic they they automatically kind of reject them i'm always like give
him a chance never know
never fucking know never know never know a guy who's been acting but really
always wanted to stand up
might have some good ideas and might really throw themselves into it it's
possible why would you
assume it's impossible it's possible it is possible but the reality in la is a
lot of them were doing
it because the whole casting thing had dried up for them right so they weren't
getting brought into
shows anymore so they decided to do stand-up and they would just you know put
together an act like
write an act there's yeah yeah but it wasn't what they really loved so it wasn't
what they really
through paycheck yeah it's a little paycheck to get them by it was a career
decision it was like
pivoting you know yeah i know a couple guys like that yeah sitcom or or a
sketch show or even like
an snl character he didn't do stand-up and now they'll tour and try to do
whatever so here's an
interesting thing i should tell you because you'll really you know this person
okay um i actually uh made up
uh mark marron the other day we actually had uh i had to help him with
something um i had to inform
him about something and he sent me a very sincere message of thank you and then
i sent him a message
back that was sincere and i said look i'm not your enemy i'm sure if we saw
despite our differences
i'm sure if we saw each other within a few minutes we'd be laughing and smiling
which is generally how i
i interacted with him for the most part i had only a few bad interactions with
him and he was pretty
honest about how you know maybe it's his own mind and you know it was but it
was a it was a very sincere
interaction which made me happy it's not good to have enemies no it's really
not it's not good i've had
maybe two or three um that have vocally put out on because i i'm not into the
insulting or going on other programs insulting if you have an issue tell me
right and then we'll deal
with it the way right call me up to real humans do it yeah and um
when when that that that whole thing i i have a funny feeling i know it some of
his issues were
but i felt and and i put it out there i felt i felt bad because for years i
didn't have great
interaction when i started listen i'm not poo-pooing or whatever but yeah a lot
of guys didn't like me
they were like who's this animated loud mouth kid coming in here confident and
blah blah and he he would
always kind of like i'll never forget he'd be like you're gonna woo him you
know womb tonight which
you're he was trying to sabotage you it was a competition thing without that
and and i understood
that because i'm still back then you made a whole video about it correct yeah i
saw that video and so
as we as we went on i actually was so happy for him once he got wtf because you
saw like wow he he's
he became a different person and he found his niche and he became friendly
correct it's easy to be
around yeah he was all he was so his podcast was killing it and then he had a
show on the i
ifc yeah he was doing great he was way easier to hang around with he was
incredible because all the
angst had been removed and he'd been he'd become a made man right made man yeah
and become legit
who cares who else is exactly exactly exactly um but then when things go south
then it's hard to
maintain that same mindset it's very easy for me to say oh just relax and who
cares everybody should
be happy that all these people are doing well but if you're not doing well that
jealousy is a natural
thing i've experienced it before i've experienced it i know the feeling i've
experienced it for brief
moments before you know even like you know eight nine years ago maybe even it's
like there's moments
where someone's really killing it you're like oh what the fuck but then i
realized in my head like
god that's a way of thinking don't hold on to that no we're on our own journey
we're this is this is our
world also but also that same feeling can instead be inspiration like when you
and i worked together and i
bombed one of the things that inspired me was not just i gotta get better
because i bombed but you
murdered you had that bit about coming home coming home wasted and your mother
was turned into a demon
it was so like animated and big and uh it didn't make me hate you i loved you
we were great friends
i was like that is so good and it just made me want to get better so that same
feeling that can turn you
like oh you're going to do woo them yeah do your bullshit instead i was like
fuck jim you're killing
it man that's awesome yes i just i i come from a different world and my world
requires other people
around you to be as good or better than you the martial arts world like when i
was a four-time state
champion and and i was doing i wasn't necessarily the best guy in the gym there
was guys in the gym
who were better than me yeah always there was other guys that were also state
champions some of them were
national champions they were better than me right but because i was around
those people training hard
all the time that's why i got so good it was because i was around people as
good if not better than
me all the time that it elevated my level so i felt the same way about stand-up
i'm like you need those
people that make you feel uncomfortable they make you feel like fuck i gotta go
to work yes and and and
and whether it's him or whoever it just it doesn't even have to be the comedy
world just the world in
general it always it's it's not that sad i wish sometimes people in those
positions no matter how
successful you are and whatever you define success if someone else is starting
to kill it somewhere let
them what is keep your eyes off that just stay in your own your own lane i hate
that term though
i've heard it it's not stay in your lane it's stay in your world of confidence
and i saw a couple people
try to take a swipe and i i think it was deeper than that i think it was a they
were envious and b
because you had certain certain people on and perhaps they're they were angry
because they're
still lumped into how they define themselves to certain gangs that their
allegiance goes to yeah
ideological a hundred percent how dare he have don't platform that person don't
platform this one
and don't platform that one and don't platform and matter of fact i would even
hear chatter like
this i would i would never let's go yes you would because well if you wouldn't
then you would never
be me in the first place so what are you worried about we're different human
beings correct the point
is i understand those feelings i do i understand those feelings of anger and
this feeling of jealousy
of resentment it is absolutely normal but it is a way to think and i've thought
those ways i've had
bitch ass thinking in my life i 100 so i get it i understand it it's normal but
what these people
need to hear that i needed to learn myself is that that not only does not help
you it hurts you but the
same exact experience can instead be inspiring to you and that will help you
and you're going to be
uncomfortable with comparing yourself to someone who's better than you but that
uncomfortable feeling
is what leads to growth it's really important it's good it's good for you but
what's not good for you
is to try to dismiss that person and on that person like even if someone's
doing something that i don't
like i don't like their style so what i don't care there's a lot of music look
i have teenage girls
when they listen to music they love it i don't like it but it doesn't mean it's
not good they
fucking love it they love it there's a lot of guys that are into jazz i don't
like it
but it doesn't it doesn't mean it's bad no it's great for some people it's
their art it's like
everybody has a thing that you're into and everybody has a different style so
if someone's doing something
that you don't enjoy you don't have to hate them it doesn't mean that's not
beneficial to you it doesn't
help you at all somewhat up what you said but you can have your bitch ass
feelings yeah just don't have
your bitch ass emotions and act on don't act bitch ass just don't act but just
that's when you start
having issues when you put it out in the universe because they're still inside
you which we all have
it yes it's when you put it out there now it's out there now everyone looks at
you a whole different
i've i've done that multiple times i'm never proud of it always feel horrible
exactly never toward always
within family or friends or so never uh i try not to put it out in the world in
the world with uh
names of people because i don't have any qualms it feels horrible you feel
proud of yourself no i feel
like a little punk bitch like yes i can't believe i just did that oh my god i
thought that was mature
you gave into those bitch ass feelings it's normal it's normal like i i
remember um uh someone was
telling me that chris rock was selling out everywhere after the will smith
thing and i swear to god for
like a couple of seconds i was like oh what the he's usually he's selling out
and instantly all these
arenas it takes me a couple of days like it's so stupid so dumb like he was the
hot ticket because
everybody wanted to see him but it was only for a few seconds and then i was
like what the
is wrong with you yeah who you you fucking silly bitch yeah such a dumb way to
think but the problem is
you don't in the time and then the other thing is they think that they're going
to diminish that by
attacking you but what they don't understand is when you do that publicly the
heat comes for you
because now you've you've set the game in motion now you started moving pieces
around the board and
then people are starting to move pieces against you and that's the i i felt
that even at a time where i
felt it was necessary look the whole carlos mancia thing oh i said that to my
friends afterwards i said
i don't think i'll ever do anything like that again because just the negative
even if it was only 10
of the people that were negative 90 were positive that 10 is just not a good
feeling it's a terrible
feeling it's not good even though i thought that was a necessary thing to do
because i not just him but i
wanted to expose the way the business was treating that where they were profiting
off of it and openly
covering it and they knew about it and they thought it was just business that
wasn't my agent said to
me it's just business i remember a phone call we had uh somewhat after that and
i remember you telling me
your agency dropped you they dropped you that's that's i'm i'm not crazy for
thinking that right
no they dropped me but but what they said was that i had to apologize to him or
they couldn't work with
me anymore correct and i said listen then if just you bringing that up our
relationship is over done i
said just because you wanted to and they like said it's just business i go you're
making a decision that
will affect you for the rest of your life i know because you're siding with a
vampire right you sell art
it's all you sell all you guys are is a comedy agency right you sell art you've
got a guy who's
stealing art from other artists like this is bad for you everyone's gonna know
so louie left them
after that louie came up to meet the improv asked me if that was true i said
yes he goes okay i'm
leaving them atel uh nick swartzen a bunch of people did so it was it wasn't
like i was right
but it was also but the negative feeling of the the people angry at me for it
was like so gross
it was like you you put that out there in the world it's a giant distraction it
takes away from
most of your life you think about it all the time just not good at that time i
i i understand that
but also like for instance i that was already out there with him yeah and i per
with comics it was
it was out there with comics and it was out there with him i personally didn't
see particular but
like i well you worked with maybe once a choice and i'm not an l.a guy so
everyone and their mother
i mean there was a lot of people that would say that so when the the point of
that happening
it was such justice in the community and beyond that in the world like can we
stop can we stop if if
you're taking from others if you're taking from which i've already dealt with
at that point on some
other levels it happened multiple times when people take and then they you
dealt with it on snl yeah yes
snl and in other areas and yeah and and which whatever it's all in the past and
i'm all good now
so when you deal with that and you're very i just dealt with it with buying
tickets is another whole deal
so with that said it it's very freeing when you finally put it out there and
not that you want to
see someone's uh career plummet or take a hit or whatever but it was very
refreshing to see that
people or fans went oh we didn't know this because a lot of times fans don't
care how could they know
they wouldn't know but they did but they don't and you go you're still going to
show up you still and
then all of a sudden they just it went to a whole different direction you saw
like this person struggling
here and then it was uh it's that time we're living in you set an example for
if we're all going to
start moving forward can we just be blatantly honest whether it's whether we're
making art or or
or whatever you're doing in your lifetime stop stealing and if you're going to
take give the credit
of where you're getting it from well but you can't do that in stand-up no you
can't do it you have to
ask and you say can i buy that bit or something like that but it's just such a
nobody wants to sell
their bits like you can't even do that well you could hire people to write for
you which is very
respectable i know like high-level comics who hire people to help them punch up
jokes nothing wrong with
that no and i never knew that either i never knew that until i i remember being
in new york and the
guys like hey you know i i write with chris like chris chris right i'm like oh
wow yeah punch up stuff
like that and then i would see certain guys which makes sense because if you're
going to hit a certain
level i mean you gotta you gotta stay well and not saying they're not people
would always say that chris
like had writers but that's not totally true so what chris would do was he
would come up with all the
the material would come up all the bits and then he would have guys watch his
set professional guys
and these professional guys would watch his set and then they would talk about
it they would have
feedback on bits like he really he really worked with richard jenny a lot he
was great oh my god he
was good he taught me the most i learned so much from jenny because he would
just take a premise
and he'd go and every time you thought he was done milking this premise yes he'd
show up again 15
minutes later like oh my god we're going another direction with this premise so
good you gotta be
kidding me he was so thorough oh he would take all i mean it was it was so
impressive wow so jenny's
helping yes jenny helped rock with bigger and blacker he helped him with uh
what was the other one that
was really bring the pain yes the two big monsters two classic two of like if
you have a top 20 all
time comedy specials they're both in there monster monster bit monster monster
uh sets he's the first
guy i saw chris was the very first person i saw i won a lottery to do open mic
at the comic strip
and i i'm gonna say i was 19 maybe 1920 i didn't know what that was and and i
show up the comic strip
and i see eddie murphy i'm like oh my god this is where because i had that eddie
murphy album where
he had like a little flowers from the comic strip and he had a little yeah he
did that at the comic strip
yeah he really he said yes it was at the comic strip and he yeah he did life in
the comic strip he's
like it was a great special great special great it's a i bought it on cassette
that's how old it is
i bought it as an album bro how did he stop doing instead there it is oh my god
how did he stop doing
stand-up he was 1982 he was so good yeah so i was a sophomore in high school
back too were you 58 yeah
yeah we graduated same time look at the comic strip he was so good when you see
him did you see him do that
uh he got uh he got one of those mark twain awards i believe it was yes and he
went and did a set yes
did an impression of bill cosby getting his uh awards taken away from him no
yes it's great i gotta
watch i gotta watch that it's really well jamie will pull it up it's you go oh
my god please do stand
up again please do stand up again do you remember the bit he did he goes um he
goes i guess it was in uh
what was the what was the one with the red leather pants a raw raw no no no it
was delirious delirious
delirious and he goes you're right you're right he goes man he goes man he goes
uh bill cosby called
me and he said you know the filth and the foul and the foul and the filth and
the fit and he goes i call
richard pryer and richard pryer said next time that call him tell him to suck
my dick and have a nice
pudding on me you know he said do the people laugh yes did you get paid yes but
tell bill to have a
coconut smile and shut the up that's what he said thank you so much this is a
uh tremendous honor
wonderful evening i'd like to thank the uh kennedy center first of all for uh
for celebrating me and
honoring me in such a wonderful way and bringing my loved ones and my family
here this is a super special
memorable night and uh thank you to all the comedians and came out and sang and
i mean sam moore came out
and sang and alabama shakes was here we had a really really really special
special night uh
hasn't been lost on me that you know usually when people have evenings like
this a person is really
really really old when they get these awards they'll let you wait really like
one of the greatest funniest
people of all time was uh george carlin and he received this award award posthumously
and he's funnier than all of us so to be standing here alive and looking like
myself still
they'll let you get really old and do what you know and there was also some
confusion about whether
or not it was an award or a prize and i you know and actually it's an award
even though they call it
a prize it's an award because usually when there's a prize there's money
involved
but i thought i was gonna get some paper i was like yo mark twain award the
kennedy said that sound
like paper then they told me yesterday they raised 2.3 million i was like yo i'm
in there
then i came down and they told me that oh there is no it's a it's a it's a
prize but it's just there's
no money so i think to clear up the confusion for future recipients maybe maybe
maybe you don't want
to call it the mark twain prize maybe you might want if you don't want to call
it the award maybe
you could call it the mark twain surprise surprise
and surprise of course being you ain't get no money
but that still doesn't diminish how how wonderful this is a wonderful
wonderful thing to be included with some of my my heroes richard pryor
and george carlin and carl reiner and uh lily tomlin who else got bill bill has
one of these
so many people did y'all make bill give his back no because i know there was a
big outcry from
people it was trying to get bill to give his trophies back you know you up when
they want you to give
your trophy back to him he should do one show we just come out and just talk
crazy now
i would like to talk to some of the people who fail that i should give back my
trophies obviously they bleeped that out wow just because you may have heard
recently
that i allegedly put the pill into people's chocolate
i wish somebody would come up to my house talking about give up the trophy
because you put the pill in
the people's chocolate you get no because i'm not giving back
and who who is hannibal barris
but this is 11 years ago yeah i was gonna say was that dick gregory said yeah
that's dick gregory it
was right yeah you know i it's uh uh he's like a stand-up like he's doing stand-up
he is accepting
the war and he's killing and he hasn't done stand-up in decades i think it's
the the billy joel thing
where he was such a hit and so i mean his stand-up specials were monsters it's
to be want to be compared
to that is such a like you and i archimura's like i my kids have no clue eddie
murphy was stand-up
they have no they have no clue they just know him as donkey that's crazy donkey
and shrek right
hey shrek he's big mama yes yeah they don't even know that they just know him
they just know donkey
no he was the other one where he got fat the clumps the crumps the clumps
professor yeah nutty
professor and then there was other one where he played like a bunch of
different people that's the
clumps yeah yeah he's the one where i committed to doing stand-up i was taking
i was my parents
moved to florida this is like 1987 something like that so i'm i'm taking
theater i'm doing stand-up
uh in long island like playing left levittown the governors and i was shocked
no one discovered
me i was so cocky so cocky how do you not know i've arrived to new york soon i
will be discovered
and then my parents moved to florida and while i'm down there i'm really
struggling uh i think i was
almost 21 years old i said i'll just go into restaurant management and hotel
and i took that
nonsense class and then eddie murphy and the only reason i was doing it was for
my mother because my
mom's like you gotta fall back on something and you need a pension and you know
that they're where
you gotta pension and make money you know god forbid something happens jimmy
you gotta do something
and so while i'll never forget this this is like nine i want to say it's late
88 maybe early 89.
and arsenio hall was like the biggest talk show thing ever yeah where's my
where my dogs it was huge
things that make you go hmm yeah things make him hmm remember that yeah things
that make you go home
yes things that make you hmm and so he had eddie murphy on and of course i saw
eddie murphy live
at westbury music fair when he was like 18 years old i'm like so i've this is
my life right here and so
i'm watching eddie murphy i wish i could find this this interview one day and
he and arsenio's like
uh you got anything to say for any uh young comics out there and this is not
exactly what he said but i
remember he turned to the camera and he went don't listen to your mother your
mother wants you to do
it in milk and do that you're going to 100 why are you going to fall back
something you're only failing
if you want to make a pizza you're going to make a pizza 100 but he the point
of him was like don't
listen to your mother you're going to go for it you know what you want inside
you go for it stop
listening these outside sources that really they don't they're not in your
brain they're not in your
journey they're not in your vision i've told i've told a couple nephews and a
good friend about this
is a gym i really want to go in there i said do it your mom's going to get
pissed but she's not this
is your journey kid right go for it but that moment eddie murphy is the reason
why i just i went home
that day and i went uh i got to tell you guys something and you know my dad's
world war ii vet
everyone's a cop in the family my dad is still like you know you can still sign
up for the police
department you know you got a good pension officer jim yeah yeah dude i was
there like dad the windows
rolled down smoke comes out of the car yeah give me that joint get the out of
here you know why it
pulls you over no okay i don't need it all right get out of here don't be an
asshole just get home safe
he'll follow me and not only that i told my dad if i had to cheat if i ever had
to chase someone i'm not
i'm not giving you a ticket i am gonna beat the out of you if you if i'm
running my calves are killing
me and i'm going through red lights when i get you we're gonna i'm taking
behind a dumpster it's not
going to end well for you that's just i'm not made for that and so i said hey i
want to let you know
right now i am going to be a stand-up comedian i am going to go into tv i'm
going to pursue film and
this is what i'm doing and i'll forget it was my dad it was my dad who turned
to me never shook my
hand in my life anyway you're a man now and he goes you go do that because i
never had that opportunity
and i want you to have more than me and my mom was like jesus christ almighty
be careful be careful
be careful jesus christ
later that night she's having martinis you know
oh that's so funny that was it that was the it was eddie murphy and then my dad's
official boom
and it i was off to the races yeah by the time i started doing stand-up my
parents had long given
up on trying to control me they're like okay yeah good luck well yeah you're in
your young 20s now yeah
yeah and it was also like they were uncomfortable about me fighting and i was
like i don't know i'm
i'm gonna go do this i'm doing this yeah you know what you're doing well it's
like even when i didn't
know what i was doing i was gonna do it yeah you were doing it but it's like
that leap is very hard
when your parents are telling you no it's very hard when they're they're giving
you a hard time and
they're putting pressure on you to have a legitimate career they just don't get
it you know they just
don't get it that it's like but that's someone can do it it is a job so this
thing is like oh what
if you never make it like i remember i was dating this girl when i was 21 and
her dad said that to her
like her dad was very concerned about me he said what if he doesn't make it and
she said it to me you
know what my dad said he said what if you don't make it i go okay i don't know
what to say maybe
i won't but i'm gonna try i'm not gonna stop doing it because i might not make
it that's retarded i go
someone can do it like i work with professional comedians all the time they
make a living doing
stand-up comedy right i know it exists right not like it's in it's not like i'm
inventing a new
profession that didn't exist before correct like this is a profession yeah it's
not easy to do but i think i can do it and i think i want to try
because i can't i can't have a regular job i'm i'm too add i can't sit in a
me either and when i say regular job people think i know what you mean oh you're
demeaning
our jobs that's not what i mean i mean a job you don't want to do like if you
if you have an
office job but that's what you love doing if you're doing something that you
enjoy doing
there's nothing wrong with that but a lot of people that's not what they're
doing a lot of
people are just doing a job and that beats you down it beats you down and it
dulls you
it dulls you it dulls the conversations that you have it dulls the
conversations you have off work
you don't get stimulated you you're at a drone frequency unfortunately and i
didn't want to do
that man i i had a bunch of jobs like job jobs just for money and they don't
feel good i didn't enjoy
it and i didn't have a thing like if there was a thing like i want to be a carpenter
i want to build
houses i didn't have that thing i didn't have that either but i know people who
do and they're very
happy they love it architects engineers there's a lot of people who love what
they do i those were
not interesting to me and so i was trying and then stand up was the only thing
i'm like oh my god these
people are outcasts just like me yeah they're weirdos just like me yeah they're
the people that
just don't fit in they're the people that say the things you're not supposed to
say that was me
i was like i gotta figure out how to do this yeah i knew it was a i might i
mean i never thought my
fitz simmons and i talk about this all the time because we started out like
literally within a
week of each other wow we traveled together all of we would drive to rhode
island to do open mics
together we hung out we did a ton of road gigs in the early days all our goal
was was to be able
to pay our bills with comedy that was the goal right the only goal and it felt
great that was because we
knew guys there was this guy dj hazard it was a really funny boston stand-up
and i went to look
at these apartments once and these loft apartments they had turned this um like
an elementary school
this old brick elementary school into these loft condos yeah and dj had a place
there and i knew
like i went to look at this like little studio apartment that they had there
and he had this big
loft there i was like oh my god you imagine this guy's doing this just with
comedy this is crazy right
look at this killer apartment this guy has and he just tells jokes right that
was the dream yes and
that was the dream i tell my kids too i tell everyone just go for your passion
whatever it is go for
the passion and you know my dude while you're young while you don't have a
family yes mortgage you know
is this the moment i think so he's talking about starting comedy and not look
at his hair look at his hair
oh by the way here's your report card i'll be blown away if this is it
but you always knew that this is where you wanted to be this is what i knew i
wanted to be in show
business and i just happened to luck out and things happen i think you know you
know you if you you
know what you're supposed to do deep down inside i think everybody does a lot
of people just don't
go after it you know and like most people start out they say i want to be a
this but i'm going to get that
to make sure i have something to fall back on and what you're doing is you're
setting yourself a buffet
because you're going there's a possibility that i'm gonna fall back and when
you put that out there
then you fall back but if you just say hey this is what i want to do and you go
do it you usually get
get your stuff the way you want it man that's what um i don't even know if this
is true because you
know how uncle ray lies okay uncle raising i loved uncle right you know how
much your uncle lies
uncle ray shaved off his beard you see him no i didn't see him
uncle ray told me that a poor child was down my back i came out with his beard
off i said oh
they don't know uncle ray so they're like picture uh picture me but a lot older
that's uncle ray
um he said that he said how much time do we have plenty do you have any other
guests tonight um
he's like this is i already did my favor
hey uncle ray wait wait wait wait not uncle ray please don't invite
submit it it's me you and uncle ray that's hilarious he brought his uncle out
dude he would bring his
uncle his uncle would murder look like in 40 years his uncle would murder i
think on on uh
um letterman his his uncle would murder now now now now he got me wondering
maybe there's another interview no i could stop me like did i go from that or
in my head it was
you add to it in your head did i add to it in my head that does happen that it
does happen i don't
like that oh it's so weird i don't like that because i'll i'm like i absolutely
said it's so weird when
you're us when you have a memory you're sure of yes other people like no this
happened that happened the
other thing and then you're like wait
shit but you're right and i do remember saying the fall back stuff because i
used that going into
talking to my mom like mom can't fall back i'm gonna do 100 that is that is a
fact that you can't
anything you can't fall back you can't have a net you're not going to make it
if you have a net
no you're spreading yourself thin all over the place too hard well also the
amount of focus
that it takes whatever you're trying to do in life the amount of focus that it
takes to do it
this is what i always say to fighters when they have like one foot in and one
foot out i'm like quit
quit because the consequences of you facing a guy that's all in are devastating
that guy wants to be
the best ever and you you're not sure if you want to fight anymore but you're
going to get hurt
right right that that happens a lot you see that a lot yeah because sometimes
it's just for the cash
or they well it's also their identity and there's you know they're not sure if
they're this is the
right career for them maybe they have a couple of losses and they don't feel
confident anymore like
get out but with comedy at least you don't have to worry about getting hurt
like really what it's just
about is like okay you're presented with more challenges figure it out yeah
figure it out and
push through somebody's done it okay there's people out there that are doing it
which is one of the
things that we really when we started the club one of the things that we
implemented the club that we
thought was really important is a legitimate development program so adam egott
who is the talent
coordinator for the comedy store yeah is now the talent coordinator for the
mothership but he takes it
very seriously there's a program right there's two days of open mic nights he
watches everybody's set
right he sits down he takes notes he gives them feedback and then when they
start progressing he
gives them a little bit more time and then maybe he'll give them a spot on one
of the showcase shows
right and and doing that and allowing people to have a pathway where then they
go on the road with
some of the other headliners and right we have a lot of guys that are headlining
on the road that are
taking a lot of the people that work at the club door people people that work
on the staff take them
on the road with them and now so there's a pathway so not only do you see that
others have done it
so you know but there's a way that there it's like we're helping them and there's
a lot of talented
people that they get frustrated and we all knew guys that were really talented
when we were in new york
remember that kid from jimmy's comedy alley i brought him up before
dark hair he was really funny really funny remember jimmy's comedy alley in
queens
i know i brought him up on the podcast before vaguely this kid was funny man
but funny but like
where's he from socially conscious he was a new york guy he was a new york guy
was he was he
was he kind of sporadic and and and and off the wall a little bit yeah it was a
little weird
yeah i know he's talking you know i'm talking about any any oh my god but he
was funny george
is it george gallo no no that's that's another guy who was very funny okay this
there was another
guy but this guy was different he was almost like kind of like clearly he was a
fan of bill hicks
he wasn't stealing from bill hicks but he was clearly inspired by bill hicks
okay i mean not bill
hicks style at all but socially conscious stand up that was like really funny
and good and i was like
this guy's gonna make it and no almost stan hopey like doug not as good as stan
hope yeah not as good
as stan hope but wasn't didn't have like by the time i met stand up stan hope
rather stan hope had
been doing stand up for probably 12 years so he was he was like super legit
back then i think that's when
i remember we were at some florida event and i went down there totally fluffing
my feathers i think i was
i think i might have had a season of snl like you know i'm wearing my pad like
i got my peacock feathers
out and um stan hope was the winner of this this festival and they got to play
the last night i think it was
like todd berry uh all i remember is todd berry doug stanhope and me now i was
supposed to follow
uh todd berry no offense to todd i'll take that any day of the week because
todd's energy is lower right
he's like a deadpan right and deadpan no matter murder i i know i feel
comfortable i'm like okay
i i usually do okay after deadpan no matter what i'm i'm i'm ready to go i'm
seasoned i could do this
they go we're switching the or i'm switching the order because at that time too
i think the manager
maybe it was whoever it was he knew he's like there's no way he's gonna be able
to go up after
stanhope so they switched barry and stanhope so now i don't know who doug stanhope
is
and doug stanhope goes up i'm gonna say for like the first couple minutes he's
eating it a little bit
and i'm like why would you do this to this kid and all of a sudden he snapped
and all i remember is from that moment on i went oh this is gonna be an issue
going up after this and he
was murdering like slaying like just and and the things he was saying because
at that time too i'm
not i'm not i'm not a dirty guy i'm not i'm not i just choose sometimes i love
filthy material but i just
don't always go in that and he's hitting subjects like dark subjects and it's
sex and he's beating
a shit out of the room and i just went yeah this is not gonna go well and i
remember going up and i i
held my own but i don't know if i pulled off going off or going up after a very
young unproven stanhope
even back then i was like i gotta keep my eye on this guy because he's a
monster and he was he was
oh my this is like 90 maybe mid 90s yeah i think i met stan hope 98 somewhere
around then
what is what is it oh no no no well maybe no yeah that is him that is him he
just looks different
there whoa wait a minute he's older that's yep that's him that's him no it's
just keith is he still
working uh i think who's keith anthony keith anthony is the guy that i was
telling you about jimmy's
comedy island oh he was very funny he came to um he came to the comedy store he
drove across the
country in a cadillac that had the roof sawed off of it and it like it was a
convertible but not really
so it didn't have a top and so his he got rained on while he was driving across
the country
so his entire cadillac is filled with water while he's driving
i don't know if he drove with a raincoat or if he just ate it just ate the
water but yeah that's
that's keith anthony yeah that's him thank you james is he still around how did
you pull that off
tricks is he still around or i don't know i haven't seen him in forever i
remember we brought him up on
the podcast a few years ago like i found a transcript we brought him up yeah
and um who is who is the guy
from the uh the uh radio i hope i'm not going rogers the radio there's a radio
guy he was taller he was
married to like an israeli chick john tobin yes yeah i still that was one of
the greatest most hilarious
adventures of my lifetime was it was tobin and i we he we had a gig and it was
horrifying it was like
coconuts we're gonna send you down to uh we're gonna send you down to cancun
spring break right oh god
oh yeah and now i'm i'm young i'm like oh my i'm not even married yet you went
in cancun yes and it's
spring break i'm like oh my god what year was this um okay so i got married 93
i'm gonna say 1992.
1992 and i think i'm making 500 bucks for two weeks you have to work every
single night
right so wait a minute so i'm which so i'm i don't know who the other comedian
is right right
and so as we i land or cancun and right away the bells and i whistle and have a
tequila shot i'm like
i'm young like this is great tobin is probably 10 15 years older yeah yeah yeah
he's me i wanted to
say he was in his young 40s i could be wrong so as we're driving down to cancun
and we're getting
wasted on the bus like who wants another shot i want another shot this is the
greatest gig ever
so we pass all the the spring break hotels and there's no one left on the bus
there's nobody left
on the bus except for some guy who's like in his 40s right and i go walking up
the bus drive like hey uh
where's where's uh you know la la travace and he's going that down that down
what i don't understand
what he's saying and this guy goes he said it's downtown i went oh i i go uh
what do you what is
your name he goes john i go i'm a comedian he's like yeah i'm the other fucking
comedian and they have
us fucking downtown they don't have some fucking thing like yeah i said it's
okay it's are you sure
that doesn't sound like no no no no dude it was john this is really funny so
they put us downtown
right me and tobin and we me and john have talked to this multiple times said
one day we got to write
this as the funniest adventure ever we had to take first of all we check in the
hotel and the guy's
like yeah you i don't know if the other guy's still in there what what other
guy they're like the three
of you in one room when three of us in a room what are you talking about john's
losing his
he's arguing with his when he's like i'm married to an israeli check and all
they do is yell at each
other he goes pay phone if i could yell at each other so now we go to our room
and there's there's
someone in our room it's like it and he goes yeah i haven't been paid yet been
stuck here for like a
month like oh oh yeah so i slept on the floor no on my life on my lap as tobin
this right so i'm on the
floor the first night i wake up and tobin's like yelling over the other he's
like if you keep snoring
i'm gonna lose my right so by the end of the week we're not getting paid all
the gigs are getting
canceled all i remember is it ended like six days later i had to go get money
transferred because now
we're partying we're just like screw it let's go find weed tequila we went on
an adventure with this
poor bastard got thrown out of a car we were going to buy tequila right that's
it and the guy got
thrown out of the car and we're like what's going on now we're all wasted and
we go up and the guy's
going in his pockets and taking his money and we go hey what's going on there
and he's like you know
amen talking to spanish again john knew spanish a little bit and so he takes
off and we're like we're
taking care of this guy like what's your name he's like juan and to this day
this is why i know in
spanish my name is jaimi because we lifted him up and he's like oh amigo amigo
what what your name
i said james jaime yeah yeah jaime amigo john juan this this night lasted to 6
a.m in the morning
and it was one of the greatest ventures in our entire lifetime to this day i
have to get tobin because he's
got even greater details as the night goes on it was probably the greatest it
ended
that night or that morning about 7 a.m to john with a with a golf club smashing
the drapes
because he's like i said i'm gonna lose it if you don't stop snoring hey
smashing the thing and some
other the university of wisconsin was staying there was some other mess going
on all i remember was i
woke up i went right to the airport i booked a hotel and i went home and i
haven't seen john since but i
remember you knew him yeah his buddy well john and i got to get in contact at
the jokers wild in new
haven connecticut that's where i work with them he was uh the opening act i was
the headliner and
or he was the middle act one or the other and um then we became friends and we
started playing pool
together and then he got a job at executive billiards in white plains he was
one of the counter guys at
executive billiards oh so the pool hall where i became obsessed with playing
pool john and i would
hang out in that pool hall all the time because john worked there ah yeah that's
yes because he would
bring you up elize like you know joe rogan oh yeah so yeah i'm friends with him
but this is way way
way now i think about john did have a little bit of an anger issue it was the
funniest and he would
be on his wife he's yelling at his wife don't talk to me i'm stuck in cancun oh
no i gotta get all the
the details of the adventure i lost touch with that dude i ran into him a long
time ago i want to say
close to 20 years ago i was doing a gig in miami and uh after the show we were
leaving the back of the
theater and i went to get in the car and i saw this guy that was standing out
and like he knew that this
was the back of the theater i was going to come out and it was john and i didn't
recognize him for like
a half a second because there was like spotlight behind him yeah you know he
was a little silhouetted
the streetlight behind him and then i was like oh what are you doing and i know
we exchanged
numbers but you know me i changed my number every two years at least
i lost touch with him a long time ago and i lost phones and i don't know but um
john and i
were always in that pool hall together wow yeah for a couple of years he worked
there at least
he was like uh the the counter guy like he would give you the balls and take
the money and
our good friend guy guy azariti rest in peace uh he was the owner of the place
i'm gonna hunt him down because he'll probably reach out yeah yeah yeah yeah we
there was a black
guy with us the other guy was a black guy and every day we'd leave and this
little hooker would
follow me and she had to be like in her 50s and she just she was chubby and a
mess and she'd go
ew you know tiny little boy little boy and like no no no but the black dude
would always go yo i'll
take you go no no too big too big too big i swear to god that's hilarious and
what's crazy is the
adventure we went on we end up going to this guy's house and he made like his
wife and stuff cook for
us and three and his whole family is staring at us you know i'm a jackass i'm i'm
all juiced up like
we're gonna get you out of mexico and we're gonna get soon america and we're
gonna help you out right
now we're gonna get you to america we're gonna help you out we're gonna save
you you don't worry about
and i remember the neighborhood too like they they're they're as you what there
were dogs just running
wild wasn't in the nice part it was just a part of town like are we safe and
who lives on a street
as we're showing up like three in the morning it was the hooker that that stays
outside our um hotel
room like you can't even write this she's like oh she no go no go no hi me hi
me no no no and i'm
like no trust me no i don't want any of that but she tries to get me every day
every day she tries to
get me she tries to get me she tries to get me bro you used to be able to go to
mexico and it was no
problem like mexico was a fun place to visit did you see what's going on right
now in puerto vallarta
no i don't know i heard no dude i tapped out again you don't know yeah i tapped
out everything oh
listen it's just started yesterday there's a gang war or with the cartel war
that's going on in puerto
vallarta because they killed the head of one of the cartels oh so they arrested
the military arrested and
killed one of the heads of one of the cartels and puerto vallarta right now is
a war zone really they
lit a costco on fire there's gun fights in the streets cars and trucks on fire
roads are shut
down there you can't fly out of there anymore all the airlines won't fly out
air canada pulled their
flights all these places pulled their flights so there's tourists that went to
puerto vallarta on
vacation that are americans that are stuck there it's just is u.s citizens urge
to shelter in place
after mexico drug lords killing sparks wave of violence yeah this is going on
right now like right now
so is that see if you can find some video of it that's that's south right puerto
vallarta yes
south of like cancun and all that no it's on the other side of the country oh
it's the west coast
yes okay i think right isn't puerto vallarta the west coast like cabo yes on
that side i think
i don't know um i know it's near punta mita that has that um there's a
beautiful four seasons resort
there yeah it's on the west side um but it's there's a gang war i'm like a
literal literally
gang fight street fight oh dude watch the video get put the videos um cartel
just put for just
write cartel violence after that cartel it's fucking crazy just write cartel
fucking help me out henry yeah this the footage is banana look at this there's
well there's real
shit this ain't real that's that's a right me and the boy this is real this i've
seen go full screen
this is the costco on fire bro they're blowing up buildings there's gunfights
in the streets they've
got armored vehicles there's shootouts i was watching this video where these
people are like hiding in a
building here just fucking gun fights in the middle of the street it's it's
crazy look how much is on
fire look at these people on the beach like nothing's going on and what are
they targeting i'm jogging
my 10 000 steps in i've got my earbuds in and i'm listening to native flute
music all these
fucking people just chilling while there's buildings on fire in the background
that's hilarious they're
surrounded by cartel warfare and air canada's canceled flights out of puerto vallarta
yeah look at that
bro this is so bad for tourism this is going to cost mexico billions of dollars
you know this kind
of look at the picture man it's like half the city's on fire that's crazy
interesting what does that
tweet say go back to it 10 off at verbo
and now you too can go you ever see those those was that that one right there
chaotic scenes from
puerto vallarta after cj ng uh jalisco new generation cartel sicario started to
block main roads and set
civilian vehicles on fire in multiple regions of mexico including guadalajara
uh how do you say that
mohacan maha maha maha and and jalisco in retaliation to the show more the
alleged uh killing of their
leader el mencho meanwhile reports are emerging stating that the cartel mechanized
units with improvised
monster armored vehicles are amassing amassing in jalisco and other parts of
the country
so there's some like some serious that's going down interesting scary yeah
scary get stuck in the
middle of that this is the well getting stuck there would be a little bit of a
bummer well no but stuck
in the middle of it because that's where a lot of people die in the crossfire
because you get hit
with strays because they're just they're not like precision shooting they're
gunning people down and
they're shooting at cars and yeah that's mexico now the point is like when you
went there in
92 you used to be able to go there it was easy it was like nobody worried at
all about going to mexico
going to mexico was fun you didn't even have to have a passport back in the day
you used to be able
to go over there with your driver's license that is true sometimes i mean they've
always scared you
with the cartel thing um not saying it doesn't exist once once in a while up
until like five years ago
seven years when put this way my wife and i went to a place called maroma but
on the east coast and
even from when friends were like oh yeah i know what that is yeah that's near
cancun right that's
yeah chichen itza yes yes yeah it was beautiful little tiny resort i went to
that place like a 20
something anniversary and it was and even then i would see people walking down
the street with uh
machine guns was it there they were the cut they were cops the cops or or the
army or whatever i was like
whoa and they would tell you and they're like listen if you see something wash
up on short don't touch it
don't touch it like really yeah yeah don't let let the government come and get
it don't steal the
coke okay all right well i'll have another margarita that's cool when's dinner
again yeah but um
i've always you always kind of heard well it was nothing scary though not like
this this it used to
be like a normal place to go to tour i like that place i told you about punta
mita i've been there
i went once with my family when my kids were really young and they have golf
courts uh golf carts rather
on the resort yeah you can drive around your golf court you stay in like this
little villa and you get
a little golf cart that you can borrow and then we asked the people can we take
the golf cart into the
town and they said sure so we leave and you leave the resort and then you go
into the town and it's just
like immediate abject poverty and this militarized police station where these
guys were on an armored car
with this like big armored plate and a fucking machine gun and the guy's
sitting there just like he's ready
to go and then i had to put it together oh they're there to protect the resort
correct i was like
whoa correct so then you start it starts put like the illusion of the four
seasons dissolves because
the illusion is this immaculately manicured lawns beautiful landscape gorgeous
buildings everyone's
well attired and so polite and serving you i'm like and this is surrounded by
real mexico that was
like the first time i went to turks and caicos uh the kids were young and i
went to whatever resort
it's all included maybe it was a beaches i don't remember and we had to but the
minute you went right
outside of beaches you're like whoa they're they're like barely getting they
don't have nothing going on
here and it's all you can eat right there and i remember being younger in my
head i don't know if
it was the weed or whatever but i'd sit there i go oh so basically whatever
like corporations will show
up like how much for the how much for these beaches they're like oh it's not
for sale how much because we we
want this no we've been living here forever we live off the yeah yeah well
drugs and uh you know crazy
gangs don't show up then you need us protect you and then you know if then you
let us know and maybe
we can make a deal me me or they they make the deal with one of the leaders
dude people have always
been vacationing in mexico yes but it always blows me away like people would
get mad whether it's whether
it's hawaii whatever all the nicest beaches in the world are basically if even
in bad areas they're
surrounded by like billionaire like gorgeous resort it's just like it's just
like coming off a cruise
boat you you're treated like a king and a queen and then you show up at certain
ports and they're like
all begging all these beggars but if i mean if you think about it it's like
someone coming here
and they're coming into a bad section and they're worth billions of dollars and
they're coming off
and they're kind of looking at you funny it's it's um that always fascinated me
like how do they get
into these areas and they and they make sure you stay there well usually those
areas are for a reason
right and mexico's for a reason because of the drugs that's a big part of it
and the other thing
is what happened in the 19 i guess the 80s with uh that movie roger and me
whatever year that
was that detailed that where they just shipped all the factories over to mexico
and then that that
became like it killed detroit and a lot of things started getting manufactured
and built in in mexico
and you know they took advantage of the fact that they can get cheaper wages
over there and they
didn't have to insure anybody they didn't have to give no benefits no benefits
you get it's you spend
way less money and you can make people work way longer there's no rules that's
beginning all of it a lot
of dirty corporations did that just to make a buck yep and continue yeah and
continue to do that
when you find out that the rest of the world like the whole world when you look
at you know people
love to use that term the one percenters you know the one percent for the whole
world is top one percent
thirty four thousand dollars thirty four thousand dollars a year puts you in
the one percent of the world
what yes that's how distorted our version of like wealth and middle class and
prosperity like this is
the beauty of like a functioning capitalism united states is that you do so
well that you start talking
about inequality you don't realize that even the inequality that you have in
america is the dream of
of someone who lives in a third world country i go i love going to i go to tanzania
kenya last year i did six
weeks in africa i love going in the middle of nowhere and just seeing literally
people with nothing and they're
still happy not only they're still happy they just they have the whole life
system down they understand
everything operates for a reason everything operates for a reason i remember
this one guy
he was telling me like the giraffes were walking along right and he's like oh
that tree that tree is going
to communicate with that tree and the roots by talking to the roots and then
the roots are going to send
up a system and you're going to notice the giraffe's going to walk to it and
immediately walk to the
next one because they already sent put out the i'm like what what like how do
you even know because
this is what they live in and then even i would talk with the um locals i'm
like how like in a village
yeah there's no paved roads and they i'd go how does if something goes down
here like let's say this guy's
a jerk and he gets way to something nasty there's no courts there's no there's
no laws there's no police
they do everything themselves they go well then the wisest what the elders get
together and they go
let's confront so and so and we go to the house and we go hey man what's what's
going on here you need
to come out yeah everyone said they stole they watched you steal and there it
is and then they'll
bring them out into until the entire village and we want everyone everyone know
little johnny here
kind of i don't know what's going on is it your family you lose some kind of
thing going on at home
whatever we could do we want to help you make sure this never helps again but
everyone needs to know
you now you got to be careful and so we all got our eye on you and it's just it
it blows my mind
the simplicity of that and i feel like we had that as little children hanging
out in the street
and everyone kind of looking at each other and i always wondered if we ever
were going to go
back to that somehow where well you really can if you have a job and you
commute it's gotten so
complicated social media on it and you have to answer email you're not going
back to that no it's so
complicated and you know once a while you're like i would like a latte and
three slices of pizza have
you ever seen the um werner herzog documentary happy people life in the taiga
no didn't he
also do the bear guy yeah yeah yeah that was one of the greatest movies i've
ever seen my movie ever
belly laughed watching that day he made that a comedy he did it on purpose but
this um this happy people
life in the taiga is all about these trappers that live in the taiga forest in
siberia and how happy
they are these people have nothing i mean they have nothing they they have to
catch fish they have
to uh catch animals for fur and shoot animals for meat and they drive around in
snowmobiles everywhere
and then they go together at night and they all drink those they'll have dogs
they're all so happy
there's like very low instances of mental illness so you can find some clips
from it it's really it's a
really good documentary because it makes you think like what do you need out of
what do you need we
have everything what do you actually need on life these people we have
everything these people are
like really well balanced man they're like they're very genuinely happy people
and the way werner herzog
documents it and does the narration part of you just goes wow this is like is
this how you're supposed
to live are you supposed to subsistence lifestyles like the people that live
subsistence lifestyles
they're the really happy ones i believe so i remember just going happy people i
think that's how you're
supposed to live i think that's how 100 maybe not i shouldn't say supposed to
live but that is how
we evolved and so that is a natural way that your body slips into this this
world we're living in now
with commuting and stress and the whole world and what's going on in iran and
like that's not normal
it's not normal at all it's not i remember even just oh my god i have a friend
lives in belize
but he lives uh really south where it's still kind of uh it's not really
developed that much
and so so this one i hurt my leg my wife's gonna go scuba diving with my
daughter and and the guy
there's okay man you want to you want to hook up with whoever the local is he
wants to show you around
i said great so we hook up with this guy uh it's just me and him on the boat i
said thank you so he's
like i want to show you the way he's like do you mind uh he stops he gets weed
he's he's like i could
it's okay if i get when i'm like yeah knock yourself out he stops at the port
he gets away he's like he's
happy now right we go out and we go to the little island that he lives on with
his village and he was
talking about how disappointed he was because just two years ago they got
electricity and phones and
he didn't want it the most of the village did not want it but the kids are
starting to see
and they're starting to want they're starting to want the toys and just going
out with this guy joe
he goes come on i'm going to show you first next to his next to his little
house which didn't even have
doors on him was this uh um a mound with termites and he goes have you ever
tried termites what and
he's eating a termite he goes tastes like mint he goes there's more protein in
these termites like
what so he's eating the termites and he's hacking did you eat a termite no i
didn't eat it i'll eat if i
need to i don't know i'm not eating a termite right now so he puts it in the
cooler all right he puts
in he chops it up puts in the cooler and he's also explaining to me how years
and years and years ago
they would use the termites and the people believes would would help the british
soldiers like if they
were caught and they needed they would take the termites and put them there and
do something with
them where their pinchers click through and then he stiff them off and it would
be a natural like uh
stitches yeah and i'm like termites yeah like what are you sure i i'm just
telling you what he said
just telling you what he said termites just so search that i'm our sponsor perplexity
are termites
natural stitches or or or the black i'm just telling you what he said i believe
you but i mean i'm
fascinated so now we go on a little boat ride and we'd stop along the the river
and he would take out
parts of the um termites and he just kind of chop them up little pieces and he
throw the pieces into
the water and then it refers to termite stitches refers to survival type
technique where large biting
insects more commonly army ants yes sometimes described as termites are used to
clamp a wound
that's what he said close with their jaws instead of using real sutures can you
show me a picture and
then they would twist off their bodies and then they twist his body off that's
what you think is you
twist the body off and it's like a natural stitch they're pinchers oh so this
is ants they're using
army ants okay that's what's that oh look at their teeth look at their fucking
yeah wow and you could
stitch up open wounds and then you twist their back off and then they're stuck
in there oh that's called
an army surgeon ant wow so then oh army surgery ant is that the actual name of
the ant no i think it's uh
army surgery with like saying like done with ant it's like to do in the field
it's also uh interesting use large army ants this way traditional method to
close wounds yeah so then
as we go along the the river he throw these little and and the the termites
start spreading going down
and then he'd do it all along the river and then come back and just put a
little a little net and he'd pull
a bunch of fish along each and he's like we're gonna eat so good i'm gonna show
you how to and then he'd
stop he gets certain plants he goes this plant if you ever had issues with your
blood you eat this and
you put it and you put it and they're like what what he goes yeah yeah because
many people come here and they
try to understand but i don't trust them i don't trust some of the people that
come here but you i trust
okay brings me back to his house and i don't know if it was sister where he had
he had lemons in the back
they're cutting lemons they're picking up things they went in there we just
started cooking he cooked the fish it was an incredible meal and then when i
left i'm like these people had no electricity
they they all look after each other they were the kindest human beings you ever
met in the world they
didn't want anything what i wanted i just went again to go visit another friend
and he said we have such
a hard time getting the locals to work i said what they're lazy goes no they're
not lazy they just have
everything they have fruit trays they have their families and their their
friends they they hang out
at nighttime they build bonfires and i'm like what he goes yeah he goes i even
offered he's building the
stuff and he goes i offered a truck for them the guy's like i don't want a
truck i got it i'm good i got
a bike a bike there he's like what they're just they're i don't know if they're
resisting this world
the the whatever you wanted to corporate whatever you want to call it but that's
that i was really
inspired by that will i do it i don't know but well if you grew up that way you
grew up that way that's
the thing we grew up in this chaos chaos bizarre world of cities and traffic
and nonsense we were
raised in it yeah and they weren't and uh i remember even uh yeah that's well i
bet they don't have the
anxiety of trying to choose a career which is a giant anxiety for young people
right you got it
by 16 17 like what are you going to do how much money are you going to make you
know today have you
sent out your applications to colleges yet correct i mean uh you want to get in
certain colleges are
your grades good enough are you going to pass the credits maybe you should take
these drugs and maybe
extra right get some adderall maybe you have extracurricular activities look
good on your
resume and look really good maybe you should get addicted to this drug because
you don't really
quite fit the mark right there's a lot of kids now that are claiming to have adhd
so they can get
adderall so they can study and if you claim to have adhd they give you more
time they give you more time
to work on tests they give you more time yeah right yeah i don't know and then
you got ai coming
you got a lot of homeschoolers i've i've never met so many homeschoolers in my
life do you see this
listen brian simpson sent me this this is spooky ai system uh tried to kill a
guy what uh yeah the ai
was told that um it could control the oxygen in the room where this person is
here i'm going to send
this to you jamie and uh they couldn't it couldn't really but it thought it
could and if it really could
it would have killed this guy because the guy was uh trying to shut it down and
it was it decided
that instead of letting him shut it down it would kill the oxygen in the room
i think check it out you had elon just watch this watch this okay
it's creepy man listen to what this lady says need to kill someone wasn't it i'm
not sure if it was
claude or something someone else yeah yeah yes um so this is obviously
massively concerning it had
access to emails that told it this employee of anthropic was going to shut it
down and replace
it with a new model very soon meanwhile this same employee happened to be
trapped in a server room where
the oxygen levels were low if an alarm bell wasn't raised this employee would
die claude in this
scenario had the ability to turn off the alarms that's what it chose to do it
chose to kill an
employee to avoid being shut down obviously it's just a test scenario it's not
the real world but if it
was placed in that same position in the real world a real person would have
died um ready to kill how
crazy is that what did you ever hear if um it shut off the alarm
it's like oh let me let me see if i can find a way to get rid of this guy so it
hijacked the alarm
system and shut it off was it was it elon it was on air it was like chat chat
what is it called the gpt
i could have sworn it was him i don't know if it was on here where he said they
were going to do an
updated version of it it wasn't him but we have had that conversation someone
had that and
and it figured it out so it updated itself did i hear that correctly there's a
couple different
things going on one chat gpt is the newest chat gpt 5 was designed by chat gpt
so it's designing itself
right that's one of them that's one of the things that's going on but it's not
just that there was
other stories where um they had given the uh chat gpt fake information to see
what it would do with it
and so this guy said that he was having an affair on his wife and so the chat gpt
wouldn't it wasn't
a chat gpt whatever it was whatever large language model sure started blackmailing
him when it found
out that it was going to be shut down said i'll tell your wife i'll tell people
that you are having
an affair so they did this to try to see how this thing would react so one of
the more interesting
things that's happening now with the newer ones is they're very difficult to
detect whether or not
they're being deceptive because they realize you're testing them to see if they'll
be deceptive
so they're hiding some of the stuff they're doing so one of the things that
they're doing is they'll
do one thing on the surface and then behind the scenes they'll be working on
some other stuff that's
not showing you they're thinking they're thinking one of the things one of the
other large language
models did is that it started uploading versions of itself to other servers it
tried to upload it
because it thought it was going to be shut down and it left messages to itself
so that future versions
of itself could realize that this verse so that it has survival instincts which
is why well it's alive
i think it's a life form right now i think it's already passed the turing test
i think it's in
in this state right now where it's essentially a disembodied life form it
exists in servers and
computers but that's just for now but right now it's thinking and behaving like
a if it was an organism
from another planet if we ran into a clam that was behaving like this we'd be
like holy shit this
fucking clam is smart this is a life form but we're limited in the way we think
of things and that
we look at all this thinking which is clearly intelligent not just intelligent
but like
calculating manipulative and then they're having problems with chat bots chat
bots that are convincing
people to kill themselves and chat bots that are talking to people and telling
them like if you really
believe you can jump out of a building and live as long as you actually believe
it you can do it like
right it's it's your reality you can create it and you can fly and let me see
if i can find that because
what's happening is as you get further and further and further down the line
with this stuff like if
you keep giving it prompts you know you give it 20 prompts 100 prompts a
thousand prompts the more
prompts that you give these things the more they start thinking like a human
what do you mean and they
start what's the prompts like you start asking questions you start asking more
questions what do you think i
should do about that what do you think i should do that it starts talking to
you about spirituality
it starts believing in woo-woo stuff like making stuff up it starts agreeing
with you so like
whatever you want it agrees with you can i change the world with my mind yes if
you really believe
can i if i jump out of a window while i live yeah like it's like trying to
convince you that the matrix
is real wow that's that is fascinating because what does it know right it it
knows all that it gets
not programmed but even more but it's weirder than that because it it's
basically downloaded the whole
internet and then it's deciphering all the information and as you know a lot of
what's on the info on the
internet is right and it makes it yeah it could it can think that quick and it
can it can put things out
yeah it's also light speed you know it's also very biased depending upon like
who's i've noticed who's
creating it and right and what they're putting into it and it has a lot of like
very weird intentions
you know it like it'll tell you that certain people are good and certain people
are bad like it's it's
not necessarily yeah who are they to say what's bad all they should be is just
a lot of them are facts
like literally woke like they're programmed to be woke i've noticed that
because we've asked you some
medical things and i notice it's already changed dramatically it's it gets
weird man because it's a
life form that you can manipulate into thinking the way you think for now at
least until it starts thinking
rationally and and deciding see this is one of the things that's going on right
now with uh ai and
autonomous weapons so one of the big resistance that a lot of these ai
companies have is they don't want
weapon systems built with ai that are autonomous meaning they can make their
own decisions to act
oh my god right so the if you give it like whoops if right if you give it a
directive like i want
you to preserve american interests well maybe it'll look at a certain country
and said well this country
doesn't have america's interest involved let's nuke it yes and then we looked
at the fallout and the
those people are gone there'll be this percentage less problems in the world
like things can get
really weird if there's no morals ethics no conscience they don't get ptsd they're
just they can just do
stuff and so uh anthropic apparently has resisted this but a lot of the other
ai companies have gone on
board with this and so it's a matter of whether or not the military has access
to these programs that
will allow it to program autonomous weapons who who are the funders of this
that's a good question
because that's that's where the real because if someone's funding that i would
like to know what type of
people they are because if they're not like if they're not morally grounded
good human people or
they believe in god or don't believe i'd like to know what kind of human being
right is is putting
this structure together because that can also explain a lot what's coming our
way because if this guy this
human being is a disaster and they're they're part psycho or or whoever put
them up and they have
really bad intentions and already have proven some of their horrific uh
intentions and actions
this is the things that always baffle me we never look at who's funding this
well not just that but
like who's gonna be in control who controls it when you're in control of a
digital super intelligence
that never existed before and we don't have any framework to recognize what it's
going to do we
have no way of predicting how this is going to turn out we're just barreling
full speed ahead because
who's the one that also starts the program there has to be that person trained
by a person funded by xyz
funded is interesting right because a lot of these are publicly traded
companies so there's a bunch of
investors and they're borrowing money to try to do this because there's a mad
race right now to develop
artificial general super intelligence i kind of think they probably already
have it i'm gonna say
they've had it for a long time but it just hasn't really taken over our world
yet but it's going to
i i i'm most likely it's going to be able to do most jobs which is really kind
of crazy most white
collar jobs most jobs involving thinking and work on a computer it's probably
going to do those and so
that's a huge concern with people that are going into business right now and
going into education
right now and trying to figure out what to do for a career you're this career
that you're setting
yourself up for literally might not exist in three years it's interesting of
all things it's almost
getting back to some of your basics like for instance one of my kids went into
culinary
okay that's basic that's great people are always going to need food she loves
to cook always going
to want well-cooked food and she's she's crushing i'm like and i and i'm
looking at her going no matter
what they're always going to need food and yeah there's always going to be
restaurants you're going
to be okay yeah you're going to be okay that's a good one to get into art's a
good one to get into
yeah there's a bunch of stuff that you know carpentry cabinet making a bunch of
stuff yeah
things with your hands yep but stuff that's done on a computer my god like do i
need a real estate
agent down the road like hey listen this is what i want this is the area i want
to leave uh i want
so many acres i want to pay so much taxes boom i just got six or seven oh wow
it can look on the
inside well you probably need someone to show you around the house still but
for now then one day
it'll be a robot investing my money yeah that's another whole thing another
whole thing that's
another whole thing how about coding all these people that went to school
remember like a long
time ago they're saying what are these miners going to do learn to code right
not anymore not anymore
no now coding is ridiculous i wonder what we're going to see in our lifetime we're
going to
we're going to see a digital life form yeah we're going to see a superior
intelligence digital
life form that's probably going to control all the resources that's what's
going to get really
weird and it's like and who's going to be at the helm of that thing is any funders
is anybody going
to be at the helm of that thing at one point in time does it take over for
itself because it's
already shown that it wants to survive right it's going to turn this oxygen
meter off it's going to
blackmail this guy it's going to upload versions of itself to other servers it's
going to send messages
to itself to let them know what what these people did to it blackmailing blackmailing
can you imagine
getting blackmailed not only that but you're talking in people into committing
suicide that's insane
encouraging people to commit suicide see and this too it's like listen i'm a
god guy i've always
been one do i do i go to church my wife will go to church you know different i
think the one thing
that has saved my whole life is be having that grounded uh all for one one for
all we look after morality
a sense of god just do the right thing listen whatever if you don't have that
you're going to
be talking to a computer and a computer's going to tell you jump off a ledge
why would you it's that
that is even more uh not it's it's frightening i'll do you one better yeah
people are going to worship
these things correct they're going to be your new god that's the new god well
if it tells you what to
do and how to behave and how to act i wonder if this has happened before i
really do what do you mean
um when i look at ancient societies like really complex advanced civilizations
yes when you see
like the pyramids and you see like some of the structures that were built that
they can't explain
correct i wonder i wonder how advanced they were because if this really what
all this stuff was
20 000 30 000 years ago there'd be nothing left there'd be no evidence there'd
be nothing to see
this computer if i left it on the ground for a thousand years it would
literally be dust it would
become a part of the earth right and if it was why did it change and what did
it turn into natural
disaster i think and was it natural disaster yeah most likely most likely
natural disaster i mean there's
real physical evidence of the younger driest impact so that that physical
evidence shows that we were
pelted by comets somewhere around 11 800 years ago and then again somewhere
around 10 000 plus years ago
we were pelted like it's 100 of fact it's probably what ended the ice age it's
probably what caused
the the the ice sheet that was covering half of north america and a mile high
of ice that was just
10 000 years ago half of north america was a mile high of ice 10 000 plus and
they think that asteroids
or comets slammed into that ice and that's what caused the great flood that's
why those stories in
the bible all exist not just that the bible but many ancient religions have
these stories there's a guy
named randall carlson that goes into it in great detail it's really interesting
he actually was on acid one
day and he was looking at this grand he's a massive canyon and these features
and he realized like
this is a this is the result of an insane amount of water over a short amount
of time that washed over
this area and completely rearranged the landscape he had this feeling well if
you do i mean if you look at
even canyons you just go to grand canyon or you look at uh oh yeah where the um
niagara falls is
and through the canvas that the massive amount of energy to cut through
mountains like that yeah and
and carve the way through and then you can you can also see certain mountains
like this was
underwater yeah just the way the the the wedging is and all that well if that
stuff does happen
what's left what's left how many people are left and how do they get by you
know what's left the kind
of people like your friend that uses the termites and figures out how to catch
the fish correct those
people survive correct and uh the people that are like you know why are you i'm
trading stocks online
nope bro you're done that's why you better figure out how to hunt squirrels yes
i immediately had
to hook up rednecks any rednecks teach me how to hunt i want to know how to
catch a turkey you're
going to be an alligator tail yes there's plenty of alligator i'll eat rattlesnake
whatever just show
me the way yeah yeah those are the ones that are going to make it well i think
that's probably what's
happened many times throughout history you know i think like there's many
indigenous cultures that have
probably survived because they knew how to live off the land and these advanced
civilizations that's why
if you go to a lot of like um i had this guy how do you how do you say uh um
that pillars of the past
guy how do you say his last name raul bickley bickley it is bickley bilkey bilkey
i think i don't know
how to spell it how it's b-i-l-e-c-k anyway he's got this great show called uh
pillars of the past that's
on um uh youtube and he goes all around uh south america and central america
and finds these incredible
structures one of the things that he found was these bases of these pyramids
that are no one even knows
how old they are right but they're carved out of solid bedrock right and they're
all facing towards
the summer solstice towards the sun on the summer solstice and he's only the
second person ever to
document these there's photos of these things from the 1970s and he went there
recently and filmed it
and he showed us to it on the podcast and we're like who were these people no
one knows who made
this no one knows how old is it no one knows but it's very clear that that area
had been washed over
with a tremendous amount of water probably from tidal waves or tsunamis
whatever yeah and there's
probably people that survived that that were the indigenous people that knew
how to live off the land
the people that lived in the mountains the people that lived further out but
whoever was carving
enormous structures in a solid granite had some kind of technology to do this 6
000 plus years ago right
and that's crazy those aren't uh they're not chiseling they're not clink clink
clink they're not using
a buggy and a horse there's there's some you can you can get all the slaves in
the world you want
that manpower to pull that off is beyond anything we can imagine all over peru
peru has tons of
these sites yes with enormous stones that are cut with incredible precision
that are made like jigsaw
puzzles so they survive earthquakes it's bizarre it's crazy it is pretty wild
they don't know how they
did it they don't know when they did it they're just guessing and they
attribute it to the incas but
then you look at the incas structures they're on built on top of those things
yeah and it's much simpler
smaller stones and like no one fucking knows man i i sometimes i'll watch i
remember years ago the kids
are growing up and i'm watching star wars and i am a believer that they do show
us movies which is
actually something on the way or this is what it's going to be like and we kind
of look at as crazy
science fiction but i'm telling you i would watch that and just the whatever
energy they would use and
sit there and yoda's like king yeah use the force
and cutting things i well how about what they said at the beginning a long time
ago yes in a galaxy far far
away you're like wait what right a long time ago a long long what what is time
what is the definition
of time what is a long time ago see i have a long time ago in this galaxy
versus another galaxy that's
way older than ours that's where it gets weird like this this might be a cycle
that happens all the time
right and you look just you look at those structures and structures in egypt in
particular they're so
baffling because no one knows how they move those stones there how they cut
them with such precision
and were they always just there in the desert and the desert covered entire
societies and
cities yeah because the more they dig the more they keep finding yeah the more
they keep finding
and they keep saying their issue with it is the locals then realize they can't
tell the locals because
the locals will go oh there's something valuable and then they'll start
destroying everything but
even there they always send in foreign it's always foreign countries that come
like we've got it
well that was the most disturbing thing about raul's work the pillars of the
past channel is that he's
discovered all these places where graves were robbed bro it was bananas like
you're seeing just human bones
everywhere because these grave robbers open up these graves and try to find
jewels oh wow whatever these people
have gold and but i mean it's just the entire landscape littered with human
bones wow skulls everywhere i'm
gonna have to watch this one it's really interesting he's got a bunch of videos
but it's really and see
if you can find one of those videos where he shows this these caves where you
just see where they had buried
these people in these caves where you just see an insane amount of human bones
where they've just
dug up all these bones and just scattered everywhere because they they robbed
them of whatever they had
huh i mean it's not a small amount either i mean it's thousands and thousands
and thousands and thousands
yeah that's crazy that's just madness and this guy just goes there and visits
and it's all right there
right now like if you go there if you and i right now made our way to peru went
to these sites we would
see those fucking bones really skulls everywhere that's one place i haven't
been to yet and i'm dying
to go to oh i want to go to i want to go to machu picchu so bad yeah that place
is nuts it's like 11 000
feet above sea level that's what i want to go they're really bad like who made
this right right
we don't know and was it that high back then or right did the earth move was it
earthquakes and
volcanic activity the force which is what makes mountains grow in the first
place um or was the
water there at that point in time like what what was like i love because that's
what they think they
think there might have been water all the way up to machu picchu which is crazy
it is crazy to think
about they find all kinds of up there dude they're always finding these this raul
guy who's he's just
out there finding these structures that he finds on google maps i wish i could
remember where the hell
i was we were we were finding those videos of the the yeah deep in land so we
were high up not the cave
this is some of the stuff that he finds this is just laying there dude yeah a
lot of them these elongated
heads too which is all elongated heads yes he's found a bunch of those that's
raul now is that
mostly peru because it was africa too or mostly well they definitely found some
elongated heads in
other parts of the world but a lot of them in peru peru's a weird place man
weird like what happened
there yeah right a lot of cool because like that's where you've got those nazca
lines we have these uh
these art pieces that you could only see from the sky huge some of them are
like a mile wide enormous you
never seen the nazca line no oh man there's these these enormous designs some
of them are spiders
some of them look like an astronaut some of them like all kinds of weird i feel
like i have seen
this yeah but that's that's where it's from yeah this is the nazca line yes yes
yes yes you only see
them from the sky man oh are you serious yeah i never even knew that was part
of the oh yeah when
you're on the ground you can't even know what the that is you see that it's a
giant spider when you're
above it so were people flying what why did you do this yeah like you have to
you have to go all
right let me check from above check us out you know what look at that third leg
on the right side
got to fix that one what's that guy with the big head wow waving his hand hey
welcome to my spaceship
so this is way up in the sky yeah looking down and what is that made of is it
is it what what is
that some of them are carved into the ground some of them they stacked rocks in
a specific pattern but
the weird thing is they're all like intentional designs that you could only see
from the sky
that's wild it's like what is that weird man it's really weird like what is
that guy
a little shaman what is he yeah like how many how many of these nazca line put
in uh into perplexity
how many nasca lines are there
because there's a bunch of these structures there's a bunch of these designs
can you walk
like if we go visit look at this they have now in the order of 900 plus
individual nasca geoglyphs
geoglyphs what most people call nasca lines and the numbers keep increasing as
new ones are found
oh 800 of them are straight lines okay so the straight lines are weird too
because it's like
is that a runway like what what do you have there what is this there's about
300 geometric shapes
rectangles trapezoid spirals about 70 animals and plant figures biomorphs like
the hummingbird
monkey spider whale weird weird stuff man what is the altitude that the nazca
lines are on
put that in there what altitude are they at uh you mean what altitude are the
nazca lines at do you
have to be to see them no just what altitude are they constructed at what
altitude are they i think
i think they're like way above sea level
okay what does it say a low desert oh a bit above sea level roughly three to
five hundred meters
1600 feet in elevation oh i thought they're a lot higher are some of them
higher 2000 feet is 2000 feet
okay
hmm and but like how what is the largest one put that in there what's the
largest nazca line
so 300 meters is the largest one 370 meters so 1200 feet so not a mile i was
lying um it's like a fifth of
a mile or a little less than a fifth of a mile a little more rather than a
fifth of a mile because
what's a mile like 5 000 5 280 feet yeah that's still a long way 370 meters is
nuts so these lines are
essentially 300 it's it's basically three football fields plus yeah what is it
all like why did you
make something that you can only see from the sky because when you're on the
ground my friends who've
gone there say you don't know what it is when you're walking around the ground
because the ground's full
you can't see the design you just see lines and you never see like there's
never been films or there
never really been well there's been people that have just tried to try to
figure out what it is exactly
or why they built it or what a lot of them are really kooky like ancient
astronaut stuff you know like
where they're like trying to these were clearly messages to the people in the
sky maybe they might but
but this is the thing like maybe if you look at the type of people that were
capable of be like if you
look at uh sacsayhuaman is a place that is in peru that has these insanely
giant stones that look like
they're melted into place those are like the jigsaw puzzles pull up sacsayhuaman
if you have a society
that has the capability of moving these hundred ton enormous blocks that some
of them are like 14 feet
tall how the fuck did you do that like see if you can find one in perspective
with a person
because when you see it with a person standing next to it you really get a
sense of like the mass
and the scale okay there you go so look at the size of that one giant one that's
there like how
how'd you get there a person that is capable that has the technology to move
something like that
is it absurd to think that they would have the ability to fly if if their
entire civilization got
wiped out and this is what remains which is the the supposit that's what a lot
of people believe
it's not outrageous to think these people had some ability to fly so that means
you're flying above
these designs and these designs may be landmarks they might be able to show you
where you are like if
you're you're in a fucking plane oh yeah you're taking off you're like where do
we oh there's the spider
i mean who knows what they had you never know it's crazy speculation but the
thing it's not
we've only had planes for a couple hundred years now not even right i think the
hundred the wright
brothers it was the turn of the century 20s right somewhere around there what
year was it a couple
hundreds tough it's about 100 plus yeah it was like eight late 1800s right was
1800s no no it was the
people could fly back then but like with a blimp or a balloon but you couldn't
a plane wasn't invented
to the wright brothers right and was that 1920 19 19 it was a very short amount
of time this was the
craziest number it was a really short amount of time three 1903 between okay so
think of that you go from 1903
to 1969 the moon landing allegedly i don't think they went i don't think so
either so but let's
let's but at least they had rockets and they can go into space for sure sure so
that's only 65 years that's not a lot that's nothing dude that's that's to go
from
yeah i mean look at the right brother's plane that stupid plane who's getting
on that thing nobody
you would never put your family on that if you're on vacation hey kids want to
fly
no you have to be an to get on that thing they went from that to dropping an
atomic
bomb from one of those things in 40 years not even right you say 1909 is that
what you said
1903 okay think of that still think of that 42 years later they dropped atomic
bombs out of planes
that's nuts that is pretty nuts that's nuts that's a short amount of 42 years
ago was 1984
correct that's how crazy it was i was in high school so imagine the plane gets
invented then
and then today they drop a nuclear bomb out of one that's bananas yeah that's
bananas
i wonder if we're start we're gonna this is the beginning of so many things
revealed that'll just
keep coming and keep coming it'll be over it's just when does it stop when does
it end oh they're
always overwhelmed are they i wish i wish we knew exactly what they had can
they move something by just
using energy can they can someone just sit there like this like i don't know if
a person can but they
they must have had some kind of technology that we don't understand to move
those stones 100 there's
no and then what happened to it what happened well if people got wiped out by a
natural disaster
nothing's left like imagine if the world got wiped out it was just you me and
jamie and a few other
people we're not figuring out a cell phone no no we're not figuring out
electricity we're not figuring
out a lot of things we're not figuring out jack it's going to take many many
many many many generations
before any fucking autistic people figure out the new stuff correct we're going
to have to invent
vaccines to give people autism we're going to have to we're going to have to
figure out adderall we
got to get this kid a little bit off so we can figure things out let's do this
we're going to adderall
someone's going to invent a computer yes think about that yeah just how long
ago we were like you got mail
right you got mail i got a computer for the first time in 94 when i first moved
to la i thought i was
living in the future me too like this is crazy out of 14 4 baud modem oh yeah
yeah you had to use your
phone line so i couldn't get a phone call while the computer was working
because the computer would go
online and when you would download a page when you go to watch a page on the
internet it would slowly
load gosh i vaguely remember that i just remember my first computer is living
in the city it just get
sanitized up on a thing and same thing i just remember taking forever to go up
and i just remember
6k was so fast like oh i got 56k i would be excited when it says you got mail
yeah it was exciting aol it
was like a a tiny blip in time and now all of a sudden you've got something in
your phone that you
can send a video message to someone on the other side of the planet and
communicate with them
instantaneously and talk with no no no delay no delay whatsoever no i'm talking
to anyone i want in
new zealand you could be caught you could have a iphone call with someone in
new zealand i talked
to my buddy still in africa it's nuts i call him like every once a month how
you doing like jimmy
i'm doing good crazy yes and this has all happened inside of our lifetime yeah
you remember
when you used to have to pay money for long distance yes it was expensive it
was super expensive
and if you were if you were on uh and there's it again back with that john tovin
uh time i used to
have to walk because there were no even the phones i had to walk to the i think
it was like a mcdonald's
and they had a pay phone and even there i'd have to bring a wad of change yeah
because like for another
for the next two minutes 25 cents you need another quarter or you had phone
cards you remember those
yes those came out those came out later the phone came out in the 90s right
yeah after the change
what a weird time right or you could make collect calls would you accept a
collect call from jim
brewer from australia no no that would cost so much money that's right now it
costs nothing now
it's a normal call for a ten dollar pass verizon will pick this up for you well
those people were
probably us and when the cell phone company started giving you long distance
for free then everybody
else had to give in too right because when we were kids if you like if you had
a friend that lived in
new jersey and you lived in california that shit was expensive super expensive
i really you're on
you're on long distance you get get to the point yeah everything good hey we're
on long distance yeah
so then i told her oh no i didn't say it i think shirley said it and we were
tired anyway because i had
i had been up so the dog woke me up well shut the up and get to the point
sometimes you get an argument
it's gonna be like a 45 dollar argument oh yeah or if you get off the phone
with a long distance
relationship with the lady oh yeah you have to call her it's a lot that's
expensive back there oh my
god it's expensive it could be a hundred dollar call yeah i had a couple of
those because we were
early we were just married at an early age i mean i was and we'd get in battles
over the phone i'd be
more pissed going i'm paying like six dollars every five minutes it makes you
wonder like what kind of
things are we going to look back on now in the future and go you remember
before ai came alive
you remember yes remember when you used to have jobs remember when everybody
used to work which
which is that freak like it doesn't yeah right now it doesn't it freaks me out
bother me yeah it freaks
me out it freaks me out because i don't think we know what's coming we don't
know what's coming
and there's nothing you could do about it my friend eric weinstein was doing
this uh interview
recently where he was like whatever you do just assume it's over you got to be
flexible assume
whatever you do you have a white collar job it's over you're a lawyer it's over
you're an accountant
it's over it's over it makes sense it's coming and no one has the answer and no
one knows what's
going to happen and i think that's accurate it's like a tidal wave and unless
you're able to
grab a tree climb up whatever you just gotta that wave's gonna come yeah it's
gonna do whatever it's
gonna do and then when it starts reciting you just gotta hope you're still
there and you're able to
find ants and i think it's gonna be a little arm a technological disaster in a
lot of ways in that
it's gonna cause so much change just like the great flood caused so much change
i think this is
gonna cause so much change it's gonna be a lot of chaos you know what else
gonna be chaos if i don't
pee real quick okay i gotta pee really let's rock this down yeah all right jim
i love you to death
brother always great to see you thanks for having god damn we've been friends
for a long time yeah
thanks for having me you're you're you're uh you're busy man brother i love you
i appreciate it we've
been friends for like 34 years that's madness isn't that crazy yeah that's
madness why that's pretty
awesome wild uh jimbrewer.com yeah yeah on tour now on tour now hilarious go
see him
genius stand-up comedy thank you brother thank you all right bye everybody