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Ehsan Ahmad is a comedian and co-host of "The Solid Show" with Deric Poston. https://linktr.ee/ehsanjahmad www.youtube.com/@TheSolidShow2024
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Marjane Satrapi, Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood
Michael Capuzzo, Close to Shore: A True Story of Terror in an Age of Innocence
Unknown, The Voynich Manuscript
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the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day
hey fella hey what's going on brother good to be back joe good to see you as
always yeah this time
this time i have something to like actually promote well you're always
promoting so i mean
any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion right you're promoting the
audience gets to see you
right right right you know it just it was so funny because it got me thinking
so i started watching
patrice's opie and anthony appearances because there's a list of them on spotify
and what was
so funny to me was like that you know how they have these like these group of
like mentally disabled
people that they kind of fuck with opie and anthony yeah yeah like a carousel
it's like kind of mean
it's kind of horrible yeah it's kind of like oh i'm kind of glad we're past
that but what made me laugh
the single one of them at the end of the thing was like and here's my website
i had a website and i was like damn i've been on the joe rogan experience twice
and i don't even
have a website you didn't have a website i didn't have a website this is the
first time i had a
website wow how did what did you do did you make it yourself uh no i find yeah
i realized like oh i
gotta just pay people to do stuff like that that's out of my wheelhouse of like
things i can do
ironically i'm terrible with technology for a guy who looks like me
there's um things you could do like uh squarespace has a great setup it's
pretty easy to do
yeah yeah but that's i think that's just pure it's like pure laziness almost on
my end for sure and a
little bit like i spend so much time on my like my brain space and this is
dedicated to my jokes i don't
i kind of shut out everything else it's a fun time to be alive one of the
things is really that's
really exciting about the mothership is uh for someone like me who's been doing
comedy for so
long it's really exciting to watch people's careers launch you know like see
guys like cam patterson go
from getting a spot on kill tony to being a regular on kill tony to being on
fucking saturday night live
boom it's crazy like some of the like uh christina mariani now just like sells
out rooms at the comedy
store all the time she's killing it just and then you have like peyton ruddy
and like dylan carlino
these are just guys who are just at the club and just made a way like social
media wise and you get
to see people get just tighter and better like mccusker's new set like we did
last night
really fucking good man super solid really fun it's just like we got a good
thing man it's a good thing
yeah it's a fun it's just a fun place to be around everyone just working jokes
that's what it is really
it's so funny there is such this narrative outside of the ship about what austin
comedy is and it's
just really just a bunch of people just doing jokes the narrative is only with
jealous people it's it's
not based on any reality it's not based on people who go there and hang out
right well it's it's it's
all of these people who love to talk about austin but they don't talk to anyone
in austin it's like
there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out and talk to you i think i've told
you this before but i have
a friend of mine who's you know somewhat of a philosopher an online friend i
don't even know what he looks
like we've been going back and forth for years but he warned me about this a
long time ago he said
you've created a walled garden and he goes and you've got all these friends and
you're all supporting
each other and you're all having fun but there's a lot of people that feel on
the outside and they
feel like left out of it and so they're like fuck those people that party sucks
you know it's kind of
along those lines and you know if you could find some connections to other
negative things you know
like me and tony we have this connection to trump and so does shane and you
know there's there's all
sorts of that oh fucking you gotta be a right winger to be and then the
narrative comes up oh you gotta
tell jokes about fucking trans people you have to yeah you can't be a liberal
you can't be this you
can't be like well that the the whole the whole like you have to be a right winger
that's like to me
that's like massive projection because there are these spaces where like if you're
a right winger in
comedy like the there's like leftist spaces that you just can't be in for sure
you'll get pushed out
right you'll get you'll get treated badly more importantly whereas at the
mothership like that
fucking green room like 80 percent of the time it's mostly like progressive
people yeah oh a lot of
people most of the people who work there are mostly left wing yeah yeah it's a
place where it's a place
where but because right-wing people i guess are allowed to be here or like also
allowed to be here
it's it's all of a sudden this right wing nazi haven well it's also it's like
what does that even
mean right like what is right wing like because you don't think that that
candidate and what they
were doing by like storming the fucking gates with illegal immigrants you don't
think that was a good
idea you don't think like rampant spending completely unchecked with no
documentation like what's going on
in california you don't think you don't think that's a bad thing what tim waltz
is doing i mean
so there's so much of it man but then it's also like yeah what ice is doing
like fucking shooting
that lady seems kind of crazy you know like grabbing people that happen to be
american citizens and
fucking dragging them out onto the snow and ask them for their papers that
seems kind of fucking crazy
too yeah that seems insane but it's also like they have a crazy job like
imagine you're a nice agent
just imagine what happened okay so we tried we used our sponsor perplexity the
other day and tried to
figure out through ai what the exact number is but when you deep dive you
realize they don't know the
number they really have like an estimate of interactions with illegal
immigrants and it's
somewhere around 11 million for four years which is fucking wild that's 10 austins
okay yeah at least
yeah of illegal immigrants were allowed to get in this country aided to get in
this country and then
moved to states they moved them they flew them out to certain swing states like
this is all mike benzes
documented all this stuff this is there's all you can see they gave him ebt
cards like so imagine
you can imagine two things one imagine you're one of those people like dude
they're asking me to come
this is awesome now i'm in america i'm gonna get a good job i'm gonna be able
to support my family
and then all of a sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof vests
looking for you on the streets
yeah yeah i thought you said it was okay i thought the red cross gave me a map
i was you gave me a fucking cell phone and now you're hunting me
right now you're just like caught in the crossfire
but now imagine the ICE agents okay this is your job
your job is to go out and find these people
and one of the things you don't you get about this
it's like because there was like a recent clip of mine that got like
highlighted where i was criticizing ICE
one of the things that you
don't think about
when you're into this is just like regular police interactions the ones that
you see online are the
horrible ones so you think all cops are horrible what you miss is the millions
of interactions that people have with
cops like how you doing today sir good sir how you doing can i see your
paperwork sure here it is
uh you in a hurry i fucked up i'm late for work you know all right man just
slow down
go like all right thanks brother everything's nice that happens too
like there's nice interactions with cops there's people that save people from
bad guys it happens all the time
there's people that are thankful that they called the police and they stopped
the burglar who is breaking into their fucking mom's house or
whatever it is right there's
so many more of those but you're not seeing those videos
and so with the ICE thing what you're only seeing and you're only hearing about
american citizens that have been arrested the lady that got shot you're hearing
about all these negative
what you're not hearing about is the number of violent criminals that they've
caught
and it's a lot it's in the thousands it's a it's not like thousands of american
citizens have been
shipped out to other countries that's no it's like net positive if you look at
it that way
like the see if you can find out how many because i know there's probably going
to be a bunch of various sources that are not totally accurate
but find out like what are the number of violent criminals they've caught since
they started doing this
well also also the there is a question on this is how i because i know this is
how they recruit some ICE agents
it's just like there are ads on local tv just offering like a signing bonus
they do it on the ufc yeah yeah yeah
they do it on the ufc there's an ICE ad
yeah and it's like these aren't just like also regular people how much training
are they really getting
right because when you watch the shooting video you're like why is the guy
shooting also recording with his phone
like there's no way that's like anything you're trained to do
his own safety like just to make sure that you can see this lady's unhinged is
he not wearing a body camera
he's not a cop right yeah but he's not wearing a body camera yeah i bet that's
why i bet that's why i filmed it
and also that same guy turns out was dragged by a car just uh recently so like
he almost lost his life
or someone did try to run him over he's hanging onto a car for dear life i
think he got
300 feet he got dragged 300 feet that's crazy 300 feet is that's a long way to
get dragged yeah yeah
right you know you 100 percent football there's a full possibility that you may
die
there's no single public record number of violent criminals captured by ICE
raids just over the last
few months and available data suggests those cases a relatively small share of
recent ICE arrests and
detentions one analysis ICE internal data said that only five to eight percent
of the people booked
it to ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal year 2026 had violent or serious
property crime convictions
but even if it's eight percent they've gotten rid of a half a million people
already and then 1.6 million
voluntarily deported so in a half a million people eight percent is a lot that's
a lot of violent
criminals so this is weirdly phrased as of january 22 i would say eight percent
is a lot like if you
have cancer in eight percent of your body i would say you're fucked you know
what i'm saying like if
you're saying oh it's only been eight percent that are violent criminals it's a
lot that's a lot of people
but now now the question is are these eight percent and the and then the non-violent
people sent in
this to the same place oh that's a good question you know what i mean because
like i do you do want the
violent criminals out but then i don't want the non-violent criminals to be
sent or non-violent
people who are here to be sent to a prison exactly it says ICE no longer
voluntarily publishes detailed
case level arrest breakdowns by offense type and independent projects so
imagine if you're a dude from
mexico that just walked up here because you wanted a better job and then they
shove you in a prison and now
yeah in some prison and you never did anything bad your whole life and now you're
in some well the
el salvador thing are they still doing that i don't that i don't know that that
was a bad yeah that's
bad optics yeah i mean this there's a lot of optics is the eyes optics with ICE
has been terrible it
says recent enforcement has involved thousands of arrests nationwide but
available analysis consistently
indicated that only a small minority of those is that in italics no uh is it
not is it maybe weird right
yeah looks a little funky no no it's not it's just that's that's perplexity
showing its bias
small minority of those that's a tone of those in ICE detention arrested by ICE
in late 2025 and early 2026
have violent criminal convictions most have no convictions but when they sank
small minority
they indicated previously that that's eight percent that still means a lot of
human beings
yeah yeah that's a lot of violent human beings like if you uh could sign a
piece of paper that said
that uh you know we're gonna allow a bunch of people into this country most of
them have no violent
convictions but about eight percent of them are monsters evil sociopathic
murderers drug dealers
eight percent is a giant ass fucking number right that's a giant ass number
right the real problem is
that they have to do this this is a real problem because the democrats did what
they did they did a
crazy thing they opened the border up and told people the border was open and
then let people and then when
people tried to stop them from doing it they used court orders like what was
that thing they did
down in texas at the border oh yeah because abbott tried to put up some thing
some like wall or something
they said you can't stop this yeah which is wait a minute but you can't stop
people from breaking
the law like what are you saying there's a method to stop this and you don't
want it stopped
right because the dirty secret is the census doesn't count citizens counts
everybody it even counts
illegals so if you live in a community that's half illegal aliens you get way
more congressional seats
from that district than if you are in a community where all those people don't
count they said that
i think they said that california if the census did see if we can find out what
the number is
but if the census did not count illegal immigrants in california i think they
would lose a shocking number
of seats right which is kind of crazy that's crazy you're rigging politics by
moving humans into place
yeah well you gotta you gotta you gotta do something and i it's a very
something that no one really talks
about a lot is like the democrats every single minority group shifted right in
2024 right every single one
and no one really is like actually trying to figure out why that's happening
they're like well if we just
import more people we can overcome that deficit but they could they could if it
was successful they
could overwhelm the political process they could make it just like it's california
forever where you get
half the people are like massively disgruntled and so confused about the
politics but they're stuck there
and that would be the whole country it would essentially be that kind of a
thing and then they do what they
do in england and what they do in canada was they slowly start clamping down on
your rights right and
england starts arresting people for social media posts well i you know i uh
hopefully that the free
speech stuff is so ingrained in our who we are as a people because england like
at the end of the day
that it's not like that country was built on that principle this is says that
they would only lose two
house seats it says um canada uh california would lose i called it canada yeah
it's like freudian
would lose uh an order of one to two house seats if possible if people in the
state without legal
status were not counted in the census used for appointment based on recent
expert simulations
all right what's that yeah here's the thing like what how many illegals are in
california let's find
that out like what is the estimated number put that in there jamie what's the
estimated number
of illegals in california i don't know where i'd be without this kind of yeah
yeah i'm so hooked on
using like perplexity for any question i have all throughout the day it's like
my smart friend it's
like better wikipedia because it can really like you can use it as like way
better than what yeah because
you can ask the entire internet and sometimes it does catch some bullshit
articles in there and says it
might be this you're like wait a minute what let me go to that article that
might be because it's only
pulling from the internet right undocumented 2.8 million in 2007 that's well
yeah that that would
be around two seats right because there's like 30 million in california
something like that yeah
yeah that makes a difference and then you do the same thing in seattle you do
the same thing
and wherever you know places you have massive numbers of undocumented people
cow um uh ohio is
a big one you know this is one of the reasons why they had this thing where
like why are there so
many haitians in ohio well what do you think i think they just decided ohio's a
spot and they all
a group whatsapp chat yeah you know whether no probably somebody's moving them
there because
it's a swing state it was it was funny when the somalian thing when uh when waltz
was like this is
white supremacy it was crazy it was like hey but but then who's the most
supreme white man in the
state governor you bitch yeah like that's a crazy freudian slip but it's also
like what a crazy
attempt at misdirection white white men commit most of the crimes yeah that's
part i think i told you
that's part of the reason why i think like minority groups are shifting away
because it's like
one they i don't think that's something the the whole victimhood mentality that's
not something
that minority groups really experience or like value especially not minority
groups that are immigrants
that are in the middle of the hustle right we got to go to work like we got to
overcome that's the
whole point yeah regardless of the hand you're dealt you got to just play it
and overcome and so that
victimhood mentality really kind of pushes people away from the left i think in
that manner and then
like you know when biden was like you know uh if you uh don't vote for me you're
not black it's like
that's kind of how they that's kind of how they view the minority vote it's a
hostage vote it's like
vote for us or else yeah it's like no one likes that energy coming towards them
and they'll lash out
and go in a different direction such a wild thing to say i mean unbelievably
funny unbelievably funny
man it's just i can't believe he said it he's so crazy and he said it with that
fucking crazy pulled back face and it's like this is madness that whatever they
did to him to make
him look try to look younger yeah doesn't work kids no oh my god all that we
know what you used to look
like you're on tv all the time and all of a sudden you you have a completely
different face like your face is
different like your all your everything's pulled back and looks it doesn't look
like anybody normal
that's 80 years old no all the all plastic surgery ages like you look like an
alien when you're old
there's just no way around it i don't know who lip fillers are for because i
don't know any guy who's
like yeah i like i like that look like that much but it's it's crazy how they
age the facial fillers
are crazy too because sometimes those things become a problem and then you got
to get them removed and
well now they're doing that buckle fat thing oh where they look like ghouls
after why would they do
that why would they take fat out of their face like fat in your face is what
makes you look youthful
what are those ladies going to look like when they hit their 60s they're going
to look like ghosts
maybe because their face will be all sunken in by the time they're 60 i think
medicine is going to be
at a level where they're going to be able to reverse aging they're pretty close
to being able to do that
they've already done some stuff with mice and they've they've done some stuff
where they're they're
understanding like what genes are causing you to have these problems what
things can be done to
mitigate it and they're treating aging not like an inevitable aspect of life
but as like a disease
that you get over time right instead of like accepting the fact that your body's
going to age at a
very specific rate and then when you're 60 it's going to suck when you're 70 it'll
suck worse
instead it's like what's causing that let's reverse what's causing it and you
know essentially if you
can do that and i think they can if it's they can't do it now they're going to
be able to do it whoa jesus
what happened okay but this is like day one this lady just had surgery popped
up on my feet a few times
she's 69 almost 70. holy that lady does not look even close to 69 or 70. is
that true though uncanny is
that true is that dr crazy he's making it up she's like i'm 40. it just it just
feels like one of those
human dolls what did she look like before there you go there you go whoa that's
the same lady
bro that's crazy you could pick her up at a bar and then you're like why do you
smell old
god that's that's great you had that old people smell the mothball smell just
sprayed perfume all over
their body oh i remember there was this uh episode of uh that show autopsy did
you ever see that show
autopsy there there's this guy michael badden and he's a famous forensic
scientist that like examines
cases and says this is actually a murder and he catches people and one of them
was this guy who was
really crazy and his wife died i don't know if it was his wife or a lady he
knew died i forget the
circumstances but he kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned some kind
of an artificial vagina
that he attached to the corpse and then had cases of perfume and so apparently
the bot he just kept
oh yeah is this like an older guy an older story yeah yeah it's like some cuban
doctor and it was
like some girl he fell in love with and then she died yes yeah yeah yeah yeah
right but it wasn't his
wife right no it was like it was like in a plaster case thing and it was yeah
yeah and then it had a
mask on it so it was like a corpse that was like years old with a mask on it
and an artificial
vagina and cases and cases of perfume so this guy's just covering this thing
perfuming getting his
on yeah yeah yeah jb just gotta find them you gotta find the picture of it he
even inserted a paper
tube into a decrepit corpse to serve as a vagina for making love yeah that's
what i'm talking about
that's to the fake vagina i think it was uh yeah it was like something he made
like he made something
dude people made a thing to people will go through lengths to get their rocks
off that's crazy it's
like ingenuity that's like man if you if you had that energy towards anything
positive you could get
get to the mars yeah yeah you can figure stuff out find us a photo of the
corpse there we go yeah so
this is oh no that's carl tanzler that's a different guy but it's a different
one but he did the same
thing oh god yeah key west same thing secretly took her body or use french
plaster to preserve her skin
rigged wires and hangers to support her skeleton and then pumped a continuous
stream of perfume
to mass the stench of the scent of decay disturbing arrangement continued for
seven years till it's
finally discovered by her sister oh god what a horror story that is oh god you
find your sister's body
and it's just there's a continual stream of perfume to keep people from knowing
there's a rotted body
up there oh god he did it for years god men are well yeah well you know and any
sort of like weird
predator will end up in that situation where they can do their thing right so
like if you like dead bodies
you're gonna be in a corpse like same thing like there's like a like female pedophiles
just become
middle school teachers those in the 30s that's what they do geez carl tanzler
oh god and that's
dr michael badden the hbo show that show is awesome man oh and he did epstein's
autopsy yeah yeah he's
one of the ones that said that the wounds were consistent with ligature strangulation
not with hanging yeah
we talked about this last time yeah yeah you know so far so i recorded my
special on the 25th of
october and i have a bunch of epstein jokes in there and in the meantime they
were they said they
released the files and i was like oh no but they still haven't released them
and i was like oh thank
god the joke still worked i was like oh my god thank god because i have like at
least two separate
times where i bring them up because it was so it was even bigger back then well
it's gonna go on for
a long time i suspect i mean they said they released them but what did they
release no they're still not
all out yet what did they release yeah yeah like it's we the whole thing's
weird it reminds me it
reminds me of that onion article where they're like oh cia really realizes they've
been using a black
highlighter this entire time like it's like that it's like oh okay you just
just blacked out pages redacted
the shit out of everything yeah yeah it's like what did they release did they
release something
recently no they haven't released anything in a minute they had that initial
release where
everything was blacked out and it was that picture of winnie the pooh which was
hilarious but isn't
there talk about some new releases that are happening soon have they it feels
like everything's been
drowned out by everything else been going on with like somali uh the somalians
and the ice
shooting it feels like that's completely drowned out anything about it i think
some of that's on
purpose oh 100 yeah 27 minutes to go update story uh a federal judge blocked
the effort to force the
release of more files
okay the federal judge let's we said it a little bit wrong is the federal judge
blocked the lawmaker's
effort to force the doj to release the epstein file so they're trying to force
the doj they're already
were forced to they've missed deadlines and a federal judge blocked them from
forcing them to release it
so a federal judge said no you can't force them to release it even though you
campaigned on it yeah
even though you ran on it even though you stood outside of that courthouse a
bunch of binders
we've got it he said he ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to oh i see i see
expert to ensure it's all okay that's a little different yeah so the federal
judge wednesday ruled that he
lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside expert to ensure the justice
department complies with a law
that makes all files pertaining to the prosecution of jeffrey epstein available
for public view okay
that's different yeah but still the the the law chess that they play to make
sure it still can't come
out right pretty crazy impressive but i don't have a jurisdiction but if you're
a federal judge you can't
you have to do you can't step outside of your boundaries is that don't don't
they kind of just do that
sometimes though yeah but it's not you're not supposed to just because some of
them are unethical
or some of them right that's fair yeah i don't understand all this so i'm gonna
be charitable about
it yeah i'm gonna be charitable about it but i just don't understand how
anybody can go to jail for
sex trafficking when you don't have anybody they sex traffic to right like that
don't make any sense
like if i was glane's lawyer i'd be like to who to who like how did he not do
that like you want to
tell me there's some sort of a compromise trial how do you not have a lawyer
that goes
who did she sex traffic to right that's clearly there's some sort of backdoor
deal that was like
hey because you spend this time in jail and we won't kill you well of course
yeah or also
she's working with them right how do you how do you have i mean in any way
shape or form how do you
have a person convicted of a crime when there's like especially that kind of a
crime where there's
a person that hires you or gives you money or that you use to get influence
from and then you sex
traffic to them so there's another person involved and that other person is
completely eliminated from
the trial because what because they're billionaires because they're heads of
state like yeah they're
powerful enough prominent scientists what is going like how is that okay that
doesn't even make sense
that you could get through a whole trial like that yeah but i i think that's
just a i was saying this
earlier i think this is just a function of government these like intense like
blackmail sex rings that
everyone just kind of gets away with it well yeah it seems like it just happens
over and over again but
it's like look at it this way like imagine if you were selling hash right and
you had like pounds and
pounds of hash at your house and you've been selling hash and you got caught
selling hash they charge you
with distribution and you're like okay but distributed to who because you're
only selling to like rich famous
people you're only selling them to like heads of jp morgan you're selling all
your hash to those guys
and they're like well who did he sell the hash to nobody somebody bought a
hundred million dollars
with a hash and there's nobody you have no no purse that doesn't make any sense
there's no crime so he
didn't really sell it you could say he possesses it but maybe intent to
distribute but if you want to
get him for actual distribution and selling of hash he's got to sell it to
somebody man at least an undercover
agent right but like in this situation it's like did we ever really think
anyone was really going to go
to jail for this i feel like with continual constant pressure they have to it
has to slowly leak out
man i wish i was that optimistic about it i they've they've done a good job of
they've done a good job of
it of keeping it the names out of the press even after they said they would
leak them it says here fbi and
doj records from 2019 reference about 10 individuals described as an alleged epstein
co-conspirators
including maxwell and french modeling agent jean-luc brunel who died in french
custody in 2022. that's
a way to get out of it too be like oh he sold she sold it to a dead guy yeah
but it's also this is not
saying that sold it to them they're co-conspirators so they were probably
involved in facilitating they're
probably involved in acquiring these girls making connections because that guy
owned a modeling agency
so he's or he's a modeling agent right right right so that guy's getting him
girls so he's a co-conspirator
it's not saying that he was john you know he was a john that was getting the
girls he was a co-conspirator
so there's at least 10 individuals who are also which makes sense if you have
this giant blackmail
ring it's not going to be like one guy right i also find it funny the whole we
mark that mark epstein
guy his just brother came out of nowhere for like a little bit for a little bit
yeah and then he's
like fuck this it's like wait first of all what do you mean a brother that just
knows everything that
happened because he came out and said that wasn't like the the the email that
was like oh clinton
trump's on clipped clinton's dick yeah he was like no bubble wasn't clinton but
you didn't say he didn't
suck someone's dick
like it wasn't clinton
trump sucks some guy named bubba's dick some truck driver
what is what you just showed up disappeared that a few of those people were
protected by the
2008 non-prosecution agreement
that's a little slap on the wrist protected a bunch of people right and so they
continue to be
protected is that the idea uh that's where no i don't know if anybody knows
nothing's better
in law than a technicality huh that's a slippery one so uh what did epstein's
brother wind up saying
he said it wasn't bubba and then which which implied that he knew that he knew
exactly what was going
on on the island the whole time and it's just out and about but he's still
saying that trump
some sucks someone's dick yeah yeah and then he just straight up disappeared
where the did he go we just learned about him man i believe a lot of things i
do not believe trump
sucks someone's dick because he doesn't do drugs you know what i mean when charlie
sheen was saying he
sucks some guy's dick like okay charlie was doing so much crack it was out of
his mind i feel like that
level of power as a drug at that point i mean maybe i don't think so i don't
know it's a it's
a very i don't think it's gonna get a guy like trump to suck a dick it just
doesn't seem that's
a guy who's up on drugs that's like when diddy was doing it they were all doing
drugs it's a drug
thing right yeah unless you're a gay man it's a drug thing to go around sucking
dick so we're
assuming that trump's been hiding the gay the entire not a chance in hell that'd
be the most
impressive hide of all time also why would he do that yeah there's no if you're
if you're open and
you're gay you side with the fucking democrats like that's the move you can
probably do all the exact
same things when you get into office right it's all horseshit that's got a
follow-up question and
that does not know who's in charge of epstein's estate it's thinking look at it
thinking your laptop's
about to blow up i would stop fucking drones about to hit the building the
mothership's gonna be on
fire tonight we'll get there oh i'm so yeah jesus christ man it's so funny it's
like it's it's an
attempted cover-up of corruption that would have been successful in the 70s
right right if they had
pulled this shit off in the 70s the 80s gone gone well the whole franklin
scandal that sure yeah they
they they killed that reporter yes they killed that report there was definitely
some yep underage
sexual thing going on there and they were like dead you're you and your son
that's what you get for
fucking around yeah we'll kill both of you there have well you know tucker's
talked about this and
a few other people talked about this there's a bunch of secretly gay
politicians oh yeah and then
there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles as well yeah i mean definitely
for sure there's definitely
i'd like i i pulled that once on bottom of the barrel just secretly gay
republicans that was my
thing and then i was like can you imagine how good that sex feels especially
after you spent all day
being like it's bad it's wrong and then that sex is extra hot yeah because you're
going against god and
your party at one time some twink with his converse on your book yeah and then
you go back and be like
family value like that level of i think there's a lot of them that are putting
on a show a lot of them
they're putting on an act and you you're never going to get to know who they
really are and that's why
when something comes out it's like shocking like oh right they're all weirdos
they're all weirdos you
have to be a weirdo to want to run the or you have to be like this amazing
person like it's two options
right gandhi or weirdo yeah i mean and speaker pedophiles we had a speaker of
the house that was
a pedophile for like eight years that's right yeah yeah a real one a real deal
pedophile a real deal
convicted pedophile what was his name again has has that i think might have
been has there i think so
i feel like we should look that up so yeah let's look that up i don't want to
be like oh has it was
like a nice guy and we're calling it right of all but what speak of the house
he was involved in a
very big scandal of it yeah dennis hastert yeah yes it was it was uh it was
like some sandusky
it was at a school that he was teaching at exactly allegations that senate
scroll up a little
senate candidate roy moore spent his 30s dating propositioning and sexually
assaulting high
school aged girls was shocking but not without precedent there have been plenty
of congressmen
who carried on sexual relationships with teenagers from thomas jefferson that
was back when people
died when they were 18. yeah uh strom thurman perhaps more dastardly uh illinois
rep dennis hastert
served the speaker of the house from 99 2007. and a little further and
additionally agreed that hastert
sodomized a fourth grade boy in a high school in a school bathroom and
threatened him if you report
assault that's like sandusky stuff yeah christ since the statute of limitation
had expired on these
crimes hastert was instead convicted of evading bank reporting requirements in
order to
secretly pay off his victims that's so funny he served 15 months in prison that's
it holy
shit that's so crazy to pay off your victims and not do it in cash what a lot
of money yeah that's a
lot a lot of money that's fair i bet it was i bet it was quite a bit of money
holy shit dude yeah and
so if there's a house one kid that got saw a fourth grade boy in a school
bathroom how many more
did he do that to how many just don't want the shame of it coming out publicly
how many guys are
struggling with it right now they're 35 years old they don't want to tell that
story right that
ruined their life because the speaker of the house them crazy crazy crazy and
he so he's not alone
no right no that's the franklin scandal and there's no way that wasn't
uncovered beforehand by people
just the way the political machine works but that's like sort of like you get
me for this i'll get you
for this so you keep that under wraps you just have that in your back pocket i
think it's just part of
that game that they play oh for sure it's like game of thrones for sure it's
definitely really is it
really is like game of thrones it's just yeah whore houses and like and also
house of cards
right it sucks that kevin spacey got busted because that show ruled i know
right but you know it's so
funny because thinking back on it like if you looked about movies i my genuine
take before he got busted
for this is he plays the greatest villains yes he's like the greatest villain
actor of all time he's the
greatest creep mm-hmm he's like a brilliant creep like with darkness behind his
eyes oh yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah and then can turn it on the charm that southern charm for the camp
how about when he did
that weird video in front of the fireplace oh dude like dude in character right
kill him with kindness
right after right after the witness to his case died like another witness to
his case died yeah
like yeah people were dropping or like flies around space either crazy real
deal villain
acting out the literal plot lines as the character being the character while he's
tending the fire
goes to show you you can still be a i mean he's still a genius artist amazing
yeah just like amazing
and in any other time he would have never gotten caught mm-hmm anyway that's
just how the machine
work that yeah i mean he's just one of those guys that got an immense amount of
power and he was just
a dick grabber like good dick and i bet a lot of guys are like okay that's the
problem with wild pitches
you know you you swing at every pitch you're gonna hit a few right you know but
he's probably
you know for all these guys that he grabbed dicks and said you know probably
drunk probably
fucked up how many guys like let him suck their dick a lot i bet i bet it was
an effective strategy
right especially for famous in hollywood he did it to gay guys but he was like
uh the one guy that
the story broke was a young teenager right what do you see like 14 or something
like that yeah
and they were working together or something like that it was it was definitely
a minor
but it's also like why is that a teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk gay
guys like hey
where's your dad the fuck is going on what are you doing there but it's you
know it's not excusing him
for doing it the thing about people in the gay community is they look very
differently at teenage boy
gay teenage boy men relationships than we do at like teenage girl men
relationships they look at it very
differently like milo got in trouble for that as milo on his on my podcast was
talking about this guy that
molested him he was like trust me i was the predator right that's what he said
that's a crazy thing to say
but they look at it differently oh yeah that's uh i remember someone was uh i
was living in l.a
and we had this gay dude who was sleeping on the uh you know we had a uh bed in
the living room for
guests to stay over so he was he like lived there for like two months and they
were watching call me by
your name and he it's like a it's like a it's army hammer and maybe it's chalamet
i forgot i i was in
and out my roommates were watching it but it's like a about a gay story between
an older man and a
a younger boy and um yeah he he would say he said this read like he was
watching it like oh this reads
like a fan fiction of an older gay dude being in love with like a younger gay
guy yeah it's like a
i remember that i remember him telling us that i'm like okay that's interesting
well i mean it kind of
makes sense right because we think very differently of like like a high school
football player that winds
up banging a really hot science teacher yeah you know you're not mad you're
just like this is crazy
that lady's crazy she's 35 she's got two kids she fucks a 17 year old boy in
the bathroom like yeah
yeah that's i said there the female pedophiles become teachers that is that is
what they do they find the
way it's very very very different than the scenario of like the football coach
that's banging the
cheerleader that's crazy yeah that makes you want to lynch them yeah yeah that's
way gross it's weird
right yeah it is weird yeah it's like yeah with every every time there is that
there's a south
park episode about it every time you hear that story about you know the the the
older teacher
fucking the young boy every guy's kind of like nice yeah well you know how the
best joke about it was
zach alfanakis he said do you hear the boy died yeah his friends high-fived him
to death
man that live at the purple onion oh fantastic that was that was a that was a
great special what is he
doing these days i have no idea yeah he was on that show for a while in fx
baskets that was really good
about the clown louie anderson won the emmy on it he owns a farm somewhere he
has like a farm that's
i think he's like he's very smart have you ever talked to him i've never met
him i've never the only
time i saw him i only saw him live was at brody's memorial yeah he was real
tight with brody he he's one of the
ways that i found out that brody was off his meds he contacted me when do you
remember that one time
when brody got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy and it was like
yelling at people in the
audience sometimes and it got weird it wasn't like performance rd anymore it
was like what's happening
with brody and then he got back and he like bounced it out what brody had like
legit problem whatever it
was whatever his mental health issue was like he needed medication like he was
he was legit crazy
and zach contacted me and said it seems like brody's off his meds so just don't
engage with him
damn damn damn so it's like you got to kind of figure out a way to corral him
get him back on his
stuff and but man when it when he was in that main room when he was in that
main room and that
credit what was left of the crowd was rocking with him it was just so much fun
just watching him play
drums he uh came into the improv one night we were doing a later show so it was
like a 10 o'clock show
and he was on late and uh the show was kind of petering out you know how it
does and at the time
it was probably like about half full and then uh ladies gentlemen please
welcome brody stevens brody
takes his shirt off and starts swinging it around in the air like a flag he
goes through the crowd
let's go energy and like he just gets everybody fired up he immediately breaks
out the drumsticks
starts fucking drumming on the seat and then starts telling jokes and just
changed the whole tempo of
the room like everything lit up it was awesome it was like that's what brody
can do yeah with pure
charisma and talent and just personality and anytime i see him like anytime i
see a person in the audience
like this all arms crossed negative that's all i can think that's all i can
think it's like wow you are
giving me negative energy right now for no reason for no reason you're at a
show come and enjoy it
you know especially when you see it because i cold open a lot you see it like
like you see people be
like why are you why'd you come here like impress me like you're already here
enjoy enjoy the energy
sometimes for people to loosen up you have the hardest job when you have when
we do those joe rogan
and friends shows and you cold open i've only cold open a few times over the
last few years yeah and
over the last 10 years it's hard you gotta hypnotize those people you gotta
slowly work your way into
the rhythm of jokes oh yeah you have to sort of like it's it's i like it
because it's energy matching
like you have to find out where they are catch on to them and then bring them
to the energy that you
want you know who's really good at it yeah hans kim oh yeah really good well it's
just straight
jokes uh-huh it's just straight jokes and he's funny looking you know like he's
like he's got a big
smile on his face like he's having fun you kind of get into his groove real
quick and you know he did
so many arenas with me and so many big places and he was the perfect guy
because he would just go
let me tell you something about myself and then right away he would take
control of the room it
was awesome derek's great at bringing him in too it's fun watching it's fun
watching the different
people like their different cold open strategies derek is just like getting
everybody fired up yeah
excitement and he's so lovable you know he's got again so much charisma right
yeah but it's uh the
cold opening for as long as i i have done and my career even pre this club it's
just it made me i feel
like so much stronger because like almost like running with ankle weights on
and then now like leading up
to me releasing the too soon i was like oh i was like all these spots i was
getting at the end of the
shows these were material this is all material that i tested at the beginning
of rogan and friends
which especially at the beginning of the club a lot of people were like wait
you're not rogan talking
to a friend like they thought they were coming to a live podcast but you know
it took a while before
the shows were like oh yeah this is a stand-up show so really yeah people
thought it was going to be a
podcast at the very beginning there were some episodes where you had to like
introduce the concept of this
is going to be stand-up yeah yeah now it's not like that but like at the very
beginning it for sure
was but like it was like i felt my material was like battle tested well it
certainly is yeah that's
that's the running with weights is a great analogy because that's exactly what
it is yeah it makes the
jokes so much stronger you know what else is really good for your act is uh
hosting yeah because you go up so
often like one of the things that really helped a lot of guys at the store was
hosting potluck
because you know you have to there's all this chaos someone just bombed
something crazy just
happened someone just did something completely insane you have a chance to make
fun of it reset
the room reset the room and there's a comfort level that comes out because you're
essentially doing
stand-up from 8 p.m to 2 a.m yes yeah when i first started uh when i lived in
first was a door guy in
hollywood derek was booking the madhouse and i would come down and host the
weekend shows
so every day i'd host from every weekend or two weekends a month i would host
from five to two in
the morning because you'd host the open mic afterwards and you just host the
entire night
it's a full day's worth of hosting that's awesome yeah it's like it's it's
because the opening spots
suck but like they make you better it's the ones that suck that make you better
it's definitely well you
realize like where the sloppy parts of your bits are like you're saying them
you're like ew right
you know like it gets you you're like oh right like whereas the when the crowds
pop in and they're
laughing and everything they want to laugh you can get that through and i'll
actually get a laugh
but then when like it's quiet and it's the beginning of the show you realize oh
this bit sucks
right like oh i gotta bring this bit to the garage yeah yeah yeah i gotta i
gotta i gotta not put it
up front what was i thinking i gotta tighten this up but it's you know there's
plenty of other spots
that's the beautiful thing i mean we're running four shows a night every night
and so and then and
there's so much around the scene there's so much i was i was telling someone in
la it's like oh if i
true if i chose not to get up 10 spots in front of an audience member in a week
at the very least then
i chose that because it's so easy to just go out and get spots there's so many
people and like there's
around in downtown alone there's like 12 dedicated comedy rooms it's insane did
you see was it rapaport
that got kicked off of a show at cap city they canceled the show they canceled
rapaport and what let me
see what the post was because they said something like there's another big club
that will have you or
something like that yeah insinuating that we would have him and that he's
racist and we would have
yeah yeah oh yeah they just assume they assume the mothership is full of racist
people they don't
yeah people do but the guy that owns that is the guy that owns helium yeah but
no not just that i think
that's pervasive around comedy for sure it's nonsense they're just they're
pretending they think that
there's no way they think that if you just look at the lineup there's no one's
looking at the lineup
they're really they're really like oh joe and tony support trump so this must
be filled with racist
people that's what it is what did they say could you pull up the i think they
phrased it in an
interesting way so austin for palestine coalition that's a rapaport is pretty
funny that's a rapaport
he's done cancelled thank you cap city comedy and helium management for
listening to austin and
canceling the racist provocateur michael rapaport show at your establishment
and so hey michael rapaport
there's a that is make sure yeah yeah that's the the caption is like but there's
another club
that's insinuating that we would take but what is this this is just austin
comedy that's just someone's
account it's just someone's account yeah that's right when i first moved here
that was when i that's
how i figured out where all the open mics but they're but they're not even
accusing us it's pretty
sure there's another club or large venue space that will welcome you that aren't
run by helium so but
there's a lot of places that that's not necessarily they're saying us if you
still want to make a stop
in austin just let them know most of us here are friendly and won't use
politics and hate to cancel
silence performers so that seems like they're kind of saying like hey michael
come do another spot do
it somewhere else i don't think they're accusing him of that right right that
sounds more supportive
of him coming here and saying most of us are friendly and won't use politics
and hate to cancel silence
performance so that's not helium saying that i guess he's is he like i mean i
guess he's outspokenly
pro israel for this to happen yeah i'm not paying attention to that dude
because i feel like a lot
of it is needy you know what i mean there's a lot of like trying to get
attention too hard right it's
like yeah yeah he's like i get he's not a dumb guy he's got some really good
points but the problem
is if you try too hard and you're doing it all the time then the good points
miss me right they miss
me because you're already connected to all that other silly they're just lost
in a seat like yeah which is
good and bad depending on whether or not you want to be taken seriously right i
don't want to be
taken seriously so like if i do ufo shows or bigfoot shows like good oh he
believes in dragons good
good don't take me seriously yeah but when you're talking about something like
israel and palestine
i guess because it said something citizens for palestine like yeah it had to
have been they're not
canceling the coalition for palestine is not going out of their way i had no
idea anybody was calling
michael rapaport racist oh well yeah i don't i i this is the first michael rapaport
news i've heard in
years if i'm gonna be honest i had no idea that like there was an organized
campaign to stop his
shows there must be if it's happening here it's happening everywhere right has
to be
okay since early november our coalition sent several emails that's all it took
no it says that we're ignored while employees had privately shared that they're
uncomfortable oh
they privately shared that with anti-palestinian hate monger rapaport being
hosted management seems
unwilling to listen to their community that's not necessarily their community
that's just some
people in the community rapaport isn't just a fanatical zionist with political
views we disagree with
he's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children he mocks immigrants
and supports ice
detentions of people whose viewpoints he dislikes additionally has a reputation
for being generally
disliked by people he's worked with uh doxing his political opponents and has
been accused of working
with fox news to spread fake propaganda okay this is like a lot yes yeah who
wrote this austin for
palestine coalition so maybe it's just in austin oh yeah that's it awesome yeah
and then they got him
out of cap city yeah but so what did they go back up to the top of that thing
what is the original
no no no no the original thing that i read it said uh he's mocked he's a racist
who cruelly mocks dead
civilians and children is that true i don't think we'd have to go through his
yeah that's the thing
it's like when you say something like that yeah you just have to take that for
face value that he
does that if you want to believe that i've never seen anything like that i
would imagine that if
he did something like that it would go viral right maybe not mocking dead
children yeah i mean yeah
maybe not maybe probably this day and age yeah if he's famous enough for sure
oh yeah yeah straight
up mocking if you're mocking dead show look look at the people that mocked charlie
kirk the
the hate came strong oh yeah they they they all they all like lost their jobs
they felt the heat
yeah immediately immediately yeah yeah it is it is like the internet makes
people very comfortable
with putting their initial emotional reaction out for everyone to see and it's
like something that
derrick talks about it's like we got to go back to the times when like people
were like oh you can't
post yourself with a red cup because like a job might see that you won't get
the job like that
you think you're drinking yeah that used to be like and now people are like
just full-on sketches
of like people dying and like oh you see so many people die just constantly too
so it's like
everyone's just desensitized to everything there's a lot of desensitization
there's a lot of
people that also live in these echo chambers and they think when they say
things like well who was
that one lady that was she was a ceo somewhere she had a very high level
position somewhere and she
posted on her instagram story i think something like that she posted rest in
piss charlie kirk right
like like you're a regular person with a real job and you're talking about a
guy who got murdered you
just wrote rest in piss on the internet because in their bubble they were
saying that kind of stuff
and they thought it was a cool thing to say yeah your algorithm is so designed
to just show you what
things that agree with you right so everyone gets more and more like oh
everyone believes this everyone
because everyone around or everyone i perceive to be around me believes that
and when really it's just
it's all like half of it's fake most of it is just some pakistani guy right
yeah somewhere with like a
million a new ai where you just constant no no no the new one where you can be
any celebrity and it looks
exactly like that celebrity so all your movements you could be like you know
mike from stranger things
damn and it's super accurate damn crazy we're getting to the point where like
surveillance videos won't be admissible in court like it's gonna it's gonna be
it's gonna be up to
there it'll well it'll all have to be on the blockchain but even that like i
don't understand
the blockchain yeah do you who knows who's manipulated yeah see if you can find
that video of because there
was uh one performer who did a series of different people from stranger things
he did like l from
stranger things and mike from and it's fucking nuts so the same person just
moving their hands around and
talking right and they look exactly like the other person right so now you're
seeing heavily manipulated
content like you uh unless you go out of your way to look for another opinion
you're just going to become entrenched in your own opinion that's sort of the
problem with what's
happening right now is like we're entrenched in the opinion that they want that
they want yes they want
to promote you just sort of like oh you're just being fed this constant line of
like
bullshit you gotta do some like algorithm cleanses that's what like
fuck like you know how you go on juice cleanses you gotta do that with your
algorithm
you gotta i think honestly what you gotta do is stay offline yeah you're gonna
get got no matter
what your your algorithm is eventually gonna catch you again it's like i'm
gonna do a little heroin
this time right and the next thing you know you're a full-on heroin junkie
right right for me it's like
there's so many videos of people getting killed by alligators and lions that
are fake and they just look
a little off like the the lion jumps in the car and pulls them out you're like
no you're like something's
wrong with this the way people react right now the reactions of people in the
background don't match
right that's what's because it used to be you could see the fingers and the
fingers would be all
fucked up but they got the fingers pretty down now they're getting better at
that now it's like
you got to look in the if the people in the background aren't reacting you're
like okay
yeah like if i was people in the background would react to a guy getting eaten
by a lion
i guess they could probably fix that though with a prompt well that would be
the next
generation scatter that's the next generation i think it's just you got to just
ask it do a
better version keep correcting it asking it to do better kind of fix this fix
that have you ever done that
with a video where you asked it to keep fixing things it gets overloaded and it
just gets worse
and worse and worse if you ask it to fix the it's not good at making an edit on
the video you already
have oh so you can be like let's say you it'll just generate another thing and
because it's making a
video about a video everything gets fucked up look at this holy shit this is
crazy dude that one looks kind
of ai but this is like a little a little a little smooth in the face you know
so it's probably better
for do it again run it again from the beginning so you know the first the first
couple ones might get
you it's one when when one seems like obviously really fake you know the thing
is too i think it's
really good with young people like him it looks fake for some reason yeah when
i got there but then you
realize they all look fake after you see one that looks fake but not that fake
no it's just if they did the
lighting a little better you know it looks a little too bright i want but yeah
see i wonder if our
perception because the first three look real i wonder if our perception would
change if they put the
one of the guy that looks fake first you feel what i'm saying like i don't know
because this one looks
real like that looks like her like if you just had that one and had her saying
a bunch of things i would
think it's her saying a bunch of things that's well that's that's fucking crazy
we're fucked we're
fucked man anybody who doesn't think we're fucked isn't paying attention it's
gonna get super weird
yeah and how much how much of that are they gonna use on us in the news you
know oh yeah oh it's a
yeah it's the news is all the news is already fucked but it's like i i was
thinking about this the other
day how it's crazy that because our algorithms are so different i think this is
why everyone gets so
charged over news things now is news is the only thing we have in common
anymore like there's not really a
show that like everyone's watching or like a set of shows that everyone's
watching your algorithm
sends you things that you like so you're completely disconnected entertainment
wise to the people
around you and the only thing you really have in common is what's going on in
the world right
because that's the only thing that's consistent and your opinions on it what
side are you on yes
because every everything becomes divided yes and you have to have a take on
everything yeah vaccines food
pyramid gaza yeah everything yeah oh yeah oh we were cooked as a like companies
have to do it yeah i've
been saying like we've been cooked as a country i've known we've been cooked as
a country ever since ben
and jerry's had a take on gaza it's like there's no reason for this yeah there's
no reason for this
well there's a company trying to sell stuff there's a lot of incentives for
companies to like whatever
what is that esg score is that what it is what is the score that they give like
so so companies have dei
scores that yeah like and for favorable loans and for government money it gets
real weird when you
start intertwining the it gets real communisty esg score evaluates a company's
sustainability and
ethical impact measuring its performance in environmental social and governance
areas such as carbon footprint
labor practices and board diversity to help investors and stakeholders access
long-term risk and
potential excuse me assess long-term risk and potential calculated by
specialized agencies like msci and
sustain a sustain alytics scores often from 0 to 100 or letter grades gauge how
well a company manages risk
in these non-financial areas influencing reputation access to capital this is
what's important and long-term
financial performances yeah so climate change impact resource use waste
pollution energy efficiency employee
relations diversity and inclusion labor standards so you're essentially forcing
the company to act a
certain way you can't do it completely as a meritocracy you have to have a
representative board of people
which a lot of people agree with none of those people are exceptional none of
the people are exceptional
at their job that agree you should have specific categories of race or gender
replace meritocracy right
no one really good male or female black white asian whatever no one really good
at their job wants that no no
because that just gets in the way it gets the job it's like i'll have to like
work up worry about this social
score yeah yeah but yeah
fuck off that's kind of what we're like heading towards right well it's less so
now with trumpador
in office there was a guy who was a ceo of some company that was talking about
the gigantic
shift in dealing with the government that had occurred right after trump took
office he was like it was
instantaneous like all the restrictions regulations and this is one of the
problems with california
particularly in particular it's incredibly over regulated so it's really
difficult to do anything
which is one of the reasons why so few people have even began attempting
rebuild their house
right regulations everywhere for everything it's just over regulated within the
government buy a lot of
that land or are they trying to buy that land right now in the palisades it's i
don't think it's
government i think there was people that were uh interested in doing like low-income
housing and then there
was like whether they were going to carve out things without their speculators
and there's that famous
video of newsom standing in front of the rubble of a burning house go there's
been some discussions
he's doing that little dance remember that yeah what a sociopath what a freaky
dude he's running
for president there's no way he's not yeah i mean he's absolutely running for
president good luck dude
you think there's a lot of fraud in minnesota just wait till they start digging
deep into the fraud
in california it's going to take an army of people to do it's going to take a
long time but look man
there's so much money missing they spent 24 billion dollars on the homeless and
they can't account
for it and didn't well is it true that gavin knew let's find out this because i
saw this whole article
about this that said gavin newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where
the 24 billion dollars
to the homeless went well if their goal was to create more homeless with that
money they did a great job
they did a fantastic job the crazy thing is they're literally incentivized to
have more homeless because
the more homeless people they have the more money money goes yep which is what
and then you see the
salaries of the people that are working on it cole coleon noir my friend uh
that's a second amendment
advocate who's a lawyer he was the first guy to tell me about that because he's
a lawyer and he was in san
francisco and he was like why is there so many homeless people here it's like
do they need more money
like is it what and his friend who is a lawyer goes no no no no no this whole
thing is a racket the more
homeless people you have the more you have to fund the homeless initiative and
then you have this
entire ecosystem that's built around the homeless right and it's just money's
going to executive
millions and millions in california 24 billion dollars okay david spade was
talking about it
this really happened he blocked bills for an audit multiple times bipartisan
bipartisan bill ab 2903
unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the assembly 40 to 0 in the senate and would have
forced annual public
reports on where the money went and newsom vetoed it is there no system in the
state because it's like
if the president vetoes in a uh at a federal level i'm pretty sure the the i
think it goes back if it
goes back to the senator of the house they can do a two-thirds vote to pass it
anyway i don't understand
there there is legislative ways to override a veto this veto federally i don't
know federally i don't
know about a state level it says gavin newsom also vetoed similar bills ab 272570
and ab2093
wow that is crazy that money's just gone 20 billion plus dollars in missing
homeless money went
that is really wild man that you would veto that that it passes unanimously and
you're like nah playa
that's gangster dude that's why you become a governor it's probably a good move
if you're really
shitty mayor of a place like san francisco and you ruin it better be the
governor yeah tighten up and
stop the investigation yeah stop all the loopholes oh you know that i that's
what i would call that
good gameplay on newsom's part yeah yeah i like look i like looking at politics
from an outside
perspective that's some good gameplay right there it is if it's a game that's
what exactly what you
should do great oh yeah it's a great move yeah and now you're and now you sort
of can launch yourself
as this anti-trump guy and you're like oh it's it's it's trying to get on this
pod the problem
the presidential run is coming he lies so much he doesn't remember that he lied
like he gets busted
on like he's like we've never used the term latinx because latinos do not like
that latinx
no you you want to alienate the mexican-american community start calling them
latinx they're like
bitch what the are you saying well that's fundamentally gendered language yeah
it's fundamentally against their
language that's the whole point there are female and male things in their
language it's a gendered
language yeah yeah so everything has to be that's crazy that's crazy stop the
really crazy thing is you
know we were we were talking last night with uh jimmy carr's friend what was
his name i forgot his name
i'm sorry sir fun fun guy interesting guy but we got to talking about the um
the the different people
that lived in america before columbus got here and before cortez got here
before all these spanish
explorers turn the entire country into a spanish-speaking catholic country
right which is really
nuts man you know you want to talk about colonizing like those people in mexico
oh we respect their
religion their culture that's the culture of their oppressors from just a few
hundred years ago right
they lost a hundred different native languages man they had so many languages
in what is now mexico but
wasn't even mexico until 1820 like whatever it was whatever they called it in
the different areas
they had like over 100 different languages that just lost in the wind because
the conquistadors came
through yeah and and out outnumbered they were able to do that bro this way outnumbered
crazy bro they
had 13 muskets that's all they had 600 dudes 13 muskets they burned the boats
and took over mexico
crazy crazy crazy crazy and then to this but here's just the gift of gab too
just able to convince
montezuma that they were god well they showed up with metal yeah they're
wearing armor and they're
riding horses and they're like this is crazy these guys are riding horses and
there's like a famous
i've almost said la malinche was like a was like a female native america or
native to the area who was
like helped them take them down oh there's quite a few people that helped them
they were very clever what
they did because there wasn't united tribes because the aztecs were absolutely
brutal one of the uh
spanish chroniclers um some i forget his name something diaz but one of the spanish
chroniclers uh
before the arrival of cortez he was there at the celebration of the completion
of one of the
temples i think it was tenochtitlan and they killed somewhere between 20 000 as
the low end
and 80 000 as the high end 20 000 to 80 000 people sacrificed in a four-day
ceremony
that's pretty gang so these are the people that were there so those are not
loved people right right
so it was really easy for them to get the other tribes and go hey guys we got
horses we got 13 muskets
with your help we can take them down we could speak spanish yeah
carnitas that's so wild is a fucking mexican word but it's a spanish word yeah
it's like this the
language like they had names like north american native american names right
like one guy was a cacao
lightning god that was his name like i did a whole bunch of research on these
people because i just got
fascinated because one of the things about the aztecs is a lot of these like
super complex temples
they didn't build them they found them oh yeah we talk about that like they
called it the place where
the gods were born yeah these these sort of like civilizations that like
clearly probably existed
because because this is something that i think about um is like okay so do you
know the uh the story
of the achaemenid persian empire like succession i don't know it in detail but
i'm aware of a lot of it
right the so you have cyrus he has two kids cambyses and bardia he splits up
the realm between the two
cambyses goes off to conquer egypt but he's like well bardi is popular so let
me secretly kill him
and then go off to egypt a magi priest then impersonates bardia takes over
the achaemenid persian empire he is the ruler now cambyses sort of dies on the
way back mysteriously
and then uh achaemenid nobleman named darius is like hey this is a magi imposter
kills
bardia he is now ruling darius leads the achaemenid persian empire to be as big
as it can be
and he's the father of xerxes the bad guy in 300. so that's but so but that is
the only official
narrative story we have that from a first like a primary source and the only
reason we have that
is because darius carved that story in himself into a rock relief it's called
the behistun relief
so that story is basically propaganda but then 50 years later gets picked up by
herodotus and that
becomes the story of the ascension right there's no other primary source on
what happened there you just
have to take darius's word for it wow yeah and that's in the fifth century and
the only reason we
know that is because someone carved it into a rock bro right like we're not
carving anything into rocks
now so if yeah so if something let's say like something happens to the internet
tomorrow and it
disappears and then our civilization just vanishes off the earth a couple
people survive and they build a
whole new civilization there's all those lines is that writing or is that
erosion i believe that's
writing i haven't really go back to that primary the original original okay i
think it's writing
it looks like cuneiform mm-hmm and it's the way it's yeah but that's the only
reason we know something
that happened from that time is because this exists and we have no idea if it's
true yeah we have no
idea if it's true but no one's even carving anything into stone for us right so
yeah look at it yeah there's
no way how dope is that line yeah look how cool that looks look how cool that
looks that's how
people used to write things down man right can ai like find there's got to be
some of these like i
know there's one from easter island that they can't decipher oh i've seen that
one no graham hancock
explained it and uh what he said was essentially the the island it was a very
small island they got raided by
slavers and they took everyone except for like a hundred people and the people
that they took and
enslaved they were the ones who knew how to read this language and then this
language was lost forever
right there's one piece of like wood where yeah that's it where it's written on
look how dope their
language looks like zoom in on like how crazy is that man just like what are
they saying and we don't
know like i wonder if they could throw that through ai and get sort of an
understanding of what
these symbols but you'd have to have a base like that was the thing about the
rosetta stone the rosetta
stone really helped people in egypt because you're like oh this is how it's
written in greek and
this is okay now we know what what it's it's said in multiple languages now we
get an understanding of
it yeah but so the the overall point being though is like in our time if the
internet disappears and
we're gone there's nothing from this time that's really being recorded it'll
just be lost oh yeah all the
hard drive stuff gone yeah just be lost we'll have to relearn things yeah but
our time the americans
there'll just be some ancient thing that people might not know ever existed it
says about the uh
it's called the rong rong rongo rongo rongo a glyph based script from easter
island remains
undeciphered despite over a century of study imagine you're studying it for a
century yeah you can't
figure out language people's whole lives have been dedicated to this no one
knows exactly what it says
as all attempts to translate it fully have failed and with scholars debating if
it's true writing or
proto writing as used as a memory aid a memory yeah lines alternate direction
often upside down oh so
that's so hard every even the direction is ever changing you're not writing
right to left you're just
kind of going wherever you want with it what is the latest on the voynich
manuscripts has anybody
thrown that through ai to try to see if it makes any sense do you know about
that yeah was it were
they found on a guy was that one of them no it's some weird book and the the
question is whether or
not this book is just complete gibberish and nonsense or whether it's some lost
language and where it's
it's really detailed too what was it found it's a good question i don't
remember um published
knobby cypher is that what it's called um published november 26 2025 in crypt
cryptologia by science
journalist michael greshko introduced the knobby cypher which uses 14th century
italian playing cards and
dice to encode latin or italian text into glyphs mimicking the voynich
manuscripts voyniches this
cipher replicates key statistical features like grip glyph frequencies word
lengths grammar rules
suggesting a similar medieval method could have generated the original 15th
century text although it does not
decode it wow have you seen it so you can find images of it it's freaky where
where was it found
that's that's a really good question yeah yeah let's find that out the voynich
ninja there's like
groups and dedicated to this people are obsessed with it i mean they've been
studying this is a fun
thing to be obsessed um just do me a favor and just uh go back to perplexity
and say uh how was it
discovered yeah i'm curious because uh i i feel like someone had it and someone
bought it from someone and
i thought i could have been wrong i thought it was found on a body
i could be wrong about that i might be thinking of another thing it was rediscovered
in 1912 by
polish-american rare books dealer wilfrid voynich okay he named it himself what
a clever guy i like
that fuck it something something of mine it's mine bitch they say you died the
second time you die
is when someone says your name less so we're just keeping him alive he acquired
it from the jesuit
college uh in friends frascati italy as a part of a batch of 30 manuscripts
discreetly sold
amidst amidst the jesuits financial difficulties how many of these motherfuckers
in the vatican
are sitting on some shit that they don't have to sell oh yeah like change the
world completely yeah
carbon dating places its creation around 1404 to 1438 likely in northern italy
emperor rudolph ii bought
it in the late 1500s for 600 gold ducats possibly from john d it later passed
to jacobus how about this
guy's name jacobus horc horsey key dep dependence
deeastern european stuff that feels like next but you can't even the problem is
there's some
names like joanna young jay check if you saw the way it's written oh there's no
way you would
pronounce any of those eastern european names it's like it's like how did you
even get that
stayed in jesuit hands until 1912 he publicized the undeciphered codex now at yale's
binecke binecke library sparking global interest despite failed decoding
attempts um pull up some
images of it so you can get see what it looks like it's real weird man it's
real weird and has uh detailed
illustrations of like plants and oh here we go listen here's a little video so
you can see like
how cool it looks when they're opening up the book anything that you're getting
that's a book that's
from the 1400s where 1200 when is it from 1500s so 1400s any book that you're
getting from the 1400s
is wild as it is just imagine these people living back then writing this down
with a feather
just touching it with our bare hands huh yeah you have to it's actually worse
to do it with gloves
really yeah they found out that gloves the the the rubber is more abrasive than
your finger the oils
of your finger is actually more protective or something along those lines wow
look how cool that
looks yeah and they don't know if that's a real language that's what's nuts you
can't decode it
this is this is a good this is a good youtube rabbit hole it's a good one yeah
it's an interesting one
because people say it's a hoax but the thing about it is if it's a hoax it's
like really well done
and very complex and like an incredible amount of time the fact is still tripping
up people now it's
like this all-time great hoax then sort of but think about how many languages
we've lost like we just
talked about a hundred languages were lost somewhere around that in what is now
considered mexico now you
know think about the rest of the world like here's another instance um mobs of
indigenous people in
australia the aborigines right so they call themselves mobs and that you know
instead of a
tribe all right and um they have mobs that will live six ten kilometers away
that speak a completely
different language and they're all over the place and they don't have these
things written anywhere
so there's a bunch of their languages that are just spoken orally and just
disappear and they
will disappear and we don't know how many languages there are like my friend
adam greentree who he used
to own a mining company in australia and he employed a lot of aborigines he
knows a lot about the culture
and he was like dude it's it's the it's the craziest history because a lot of
it is not written down and
there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide attached to it there's a cave
that you can go to
where they gave these this mob of aborigines poison food on purpose like a
whole crew of them and so
there's like just their bones are in this cave still to this day he goes dude
it's the darkest
fucking thing you've ever seen in your life you think about this family and
their children they're
starving and these people these you know white people in australia were
essentially prisoners that
england's shipped over there right just gave them poison and just damn damn
damn damn damn that's
yeah and they got bro they got some crazy rock art you ever see the the the glyphs
of like alien
looking dudes and oh yeah and shit and like yeah there's like people with like
rocket that look
like they're in rocket ships and space suits what yeah what information what
stories what is their
version of the bible that we missed well it's because they never wrote it down
yeah there's something to
do with a large flood that seems to be consistent to hope he had that yeah
something to do with a large
flood and something to do with some sort of either dragon or serpent type bad
guy right though those
are those are the two main consistent things across most cultures some large
flood event and some snake
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's all and i wonder what the snake in the bible
really look like because
in in the adam and eve story anytime you see a picture painted of it it's
painted as a snake
but his the snake's punishment was it lost its limbs so this was a dragon
right because the snake the uh the snake's punishment was it has to slith on
the ground
but is that the snake's punishment forever is that like why god did that to the
snakes period i think
so i think that's the whole that right that's what that doesn't that just
explain what a snake is
looks like rather than describe a dragon
like why doesn't have limbs god took away its limbs okay that's what you're
saying it's maybe it's
maybe it's reversed it seems like it's yeah maybe i just really wanted to be a
dragon yeah it seems
like how come they don't get to have legs yeah yeah how come you don't get to
have wings
you know because if you really think about it like there are so many different
stories this is why
like you know the view like that's that famous joy behar clip which he believes
in dragons great clip
yeah it's awesome it comes out of a conversation that i had with forest gallant
who's a wildlife
biologist who's like there's a lot of depictions of these flying serpents and
large serpents with wings
all over the world it's weird right it is really weird yeah it's like it's like
a thing really weird
and we know some dinosaurs flew so there might have been some do you think
there's some sort of cross
well here's the thing the congo has had a legend of some sort of a large
dinosaur-like creature
forever to the point where explorers have made their way into the congo to try
to find this thing
okay that resembles i think it resembles a brontosaurus that could fly no no no
okay that was
in the jungle like so the question is is it possible that a creature could live
for an extended period of
time and then you know maybe in the 1100s or a thousand years ago or whatever
2000 years ago they
slaughtered them all and killed them off like maybe maybe they have a long gestation
period like an
elephant you know maybe maybe it's possible they realized these things were a
threat they knew where
they'd end up there was a small population anywhere and they killed them off
right maybe maybe it's not
likely there's no bones there's no nothing but there's no bones of most things
that's the thing
right most things that die do not leave a fossil yeah and then they find things
that they thought
were extinct not just extinct but extinct for millions and millions of years
one of them is the
coelacanth you know about the coelacanth no so the coelacanth is this crazy
looking dinosaur
fish that is unchanged from god i want to say tens of millions of years i don't
know how old but when
you look at it you're like yo look at that thing and then they caught one once
they caught it like
i i don't know it was a fishing net or a fishing boat but they caught one and
then they realized like
oh my god these things are still alive like we thought this was a part of the
fossil record
damn and then they realized that there's parts of the ocean that we just haven't
explored and these
things and then they've caught a bunch of them since and then other fishermen
have caught them but it's
a very deep deep sea creature that is really ancient and they found they how
old is the coelacanth
like how long has it been around for man that's so i'm saying the word right
that's so wild to not
find one for years and then all of a sudden you just find a bunch well they
found a few yeah well
then now that they know they exist they're looking they kind of know what to
look for and then they're
fishing that area and they caught them but can you show me an image of the coelacanth
oh i think there's a there's a youtube channel that i think you'd really like
called like i think
it's called art like it's a it just goes and looks through what the earth look
like in every like in
different eras so that's that freaky fish oh yeah i've seen this it's armored
it's got like these crazy
scales on it it just it looks like a throwback um so three hold up go up
relatives being the first
left seas 385 okay um so they're not our direct ancestors but they're still
relatives of beings that
first left the seas they left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged
terrestrial animals
from which we sprung and these relatives are still alive today so how long has
the coelacanth
been around 38 38 floating off the south african coast the indian ocean
fishermen from the urban
caught an unknown creature weighed 188 pounds five feet in length dark blue and
color in color and
unabashedly chomped its jaws this was not a fish not just any fish that scales
fins and limbs or more
precisely rudiments thereof moreover there were seven of them two in the back
three on the belly
and another pair on the head they had limbs on their head whoa damn should we
know the local
population occasionally caught these creatures that didn't even come up with a
name for them
gombessa which can be translated as bitter fish love that just eat it first
find out later
the residents knew that it was nearly inedible inedible it was consumed due to
the belief that
its meat helped to cope with malaria symptoms yo although it was possible to
make something like
sandpaper from their extremely strong and bristly scales so when did they think
when look at what
it looked like that's crazy that's that's wild though that thing looks scary it
looks like a monster with
all those weird appendages right eventually made its way onto the shore yeah
nuts man that's how long ago
was that like how long did they think that thing had been extinct for
you'd have to look that up yeah just put up put into perplexity the uh history
of the coelacanth
okay here we go how old is this
420 million years wow rediscovered damn bro that's that's wild wow they thought
it had been extinct
for 66 million years and it was just living whoa dude to live that long that's
pretty that's pretty crazy
that's incredible yeah that's that's incredible so this thing that was alive
400 million years ago is
still alive today they thought it was extinct for 68 million years is it
possible that there's something
else like that that's on land like less likely i think i think ocean is more
likely well it's more
undiscovered right so not just that it's also like more protective of
environmental change right so right
it's probably less dependent on all that like especially if you're a sea
predator you're
probably less dependent on you know all the plants growing and nuclear winter
that's happening on the
fucking surface right everything dies off and the ice age comes and it's
fucking
meteor dust everywhere right you can survive you can survive a lot of stuff
like climate change
you're not worried about that really probably you are but it's probably
something more things
would probably survive in the ocean i would imagine yeah that makes more sense
like how how old are
alligators and crocodiles aren't they like aren't like isn't like aren't like
sharks older than trees
or something older than trees yeah older than trees such a mindfuck to think
about yeah yeah there's
something could be older than trees yeah and they still are essentially in the
same form mm-hmm just
fucking swimming eating machines apex predators forever you hear about that
lady off santa cruz that got got the
the other day no but have you read that book about the the i read that book
about the shark attacks
in 1916 oh yeah new jersey yeah close to short where it's like oh damn like
river yeah it went it went
in a freshwater river yeah but they also didn't think sharks were dangerous at
that time that's so great
like that was in that time they were like there were people like oh sharks they're
just like sea
puppies they'll leave you alone that was the thought part of the reason why
that stuck out to people were like oh
sharks are like dangerous creatures especially bull sharks because bull sharks
are the ones that can
swim all the way up to like they they made their way to illinois that oh yeah
and they're just as
they're more aggressive than great whites right oh yeah they're hyper
aggressive but they make their way
all the way up fresh water rivers all the way up into like cold environments
fucking illinois had bull sharks yeah fresh water just can a fresh water shark
it's just
how bad luck do you how much of a bad luck do you have to be in a river and get
attacked by a shark
it was your time to go you got your legs dangling out of an inner tube yeah
just all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and you see red in the water and
you realize your
leg's gone yeah it takes you a second to realize your leg is gone too because
it's so sharp and so
yeah slices through and you don't expect it geez yeah well we're not expecting
a shark in the lake and
you look down you see the white of your kneecap everything underneath it is
just torn tissue and
fuck yeah yeah they didn't think it was dangerous at the time like that crazy
that's
so wild it's so all the way up until 1916 in fact some people thought sharks
were just something that
sailors made up whoa yeah just like oh this giant sea creature that'll eat you
they don't know what they're talking like this is just a sea myth well it's
also when you think
about it when people came to america because there's no sharks in england there's
no sharks in ireland
right they don't have a problem over there so when they came to america there
was only
like we're talking about this shark attack was in the early 1900s right yes 1916.
so think about
that there's only like a couple hundred years of people even being here right
and that year was like
a perfect storm of like the beach became like an acceptable thing to go lounge
at before that it wasn't
the thing even tried to twist it to say that it was trying to attack a dog not
the person
in the way no yeah it hates dogs uh what it there are it does lay out certain
things like if you are
swimming with a dog you're more likely to get attacked by a shark interesting
and it's like
something like a full moon like the moon really regulates sharks emotions so
like more shark attacks
happen on full moons oh there's certain things yeah apparently having the dog
they never attack the dog
really but the dog attracts the something about how they swim attacks don't get
killed by sharks
not they will attack the person really wow it's something the book lays it out
there is something
there is like a uh like a coordinate like if there are a bunch of different
factors that sort of apply
to that whoa i don't think there's anything alive right now that is you know
dinosaur-like but i wonder how
how long they stuck around for how long some of them stayed just the last if
crocodiles and
alligators didn't exist like let's just imagine crocodiles didn't exist the big
ones the nile
crocodiles let's imagine okay no one thought there was a crocodile it's
nonsense and then one day someone
got a video of one in the congo you'd be like no dinosaurs are real right that's
a dinosaur that is a
straight up dinosaur yeah it's a giant lizard that is yeah that is technically
what's left this dude josh
bomar he's a bow hunter and he just killed a world record crocodile and i think
it was in tanzania i think
actually i think he might have did it like two years ago this thing is so big
it's i think it's like 17
feet long and it's probably over 100 years old he killed it with a bow look at
the size of that thing
god now imagine if that thing didn't exist if no one thought that that thing
existed and then you
saw that and then you saw that you'd be like yeah that's not yeah you'd be like
that's a monster that
i saw like look at the size of that thing man like if nobody went to tanzania
ever if it was just a
place that no one went to and then people went there and they saw that they're
like oh my god dinosaurs
are still alive right because that's a dinosaur yeah period full stop you would
yeah you'd be
absolutely a fan called a crocodile whatever it's a species of dinosaurs that
made it it's still here
like when did crocodiles first evolve 83 to 95 million years ago late cretaceous
younger than the
coelacanth yeah crazy up to 250 million years it's still young by 100 million
years well it's probably
the ancestor that came to shore and said eating right yeah yeah if everything
came out of the ocean
allegedly oh okay there is something so there's something that i do it's like a
gratefulness thing
that i do every year because it's like this is like a big moment for me in my
career i just released
the special i i'm i'm walking away from i'm like not working social media at
the club anymore i'm like
making steps out so this is a youtube video that i watch every every time
something like sort of big
happens to me or like i'm a crossroads and it's and it's have you ever seen
this uh mr rogers emmy
acceptance speech have you seen this no okay can we pull that up jamie and it's
like a three minute
video but like genuinely because i'm because i'm gonna do it too i want you to
do what he says okay yeah
yeah yeah it's just a quick little thing okay yeah and i'm i'm all right yeah
yeah let's see it
for giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves for
being their friend
for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they
have worth it
is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on behalf of the millions of
children whose mornings you
you have brightened with your kindness to present you with this lifetime
achievement award
so thank you
oh it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood
so many people have helped me to come to this night
some of you some of you are here some are far away some are even in heaven
all of us have special ones who have loved us into being
would you just take along with me
10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are
those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life
10 seconds of silence
i'll watch the time
whomever you've been thinking about
how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made
you know they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world
special thanks to my family and friends and to my co-workers in public
broadcasting
family communications and this academy for encouraging me allowing me all these
years
to be your neighbor may god be with you thank you very much
he seemed like the real deal yeah yeah
what do you think about nothing ever came out about him yeah for real right he
wasn't like
jimmy savile i just i'm happy he was the real deal he really does seem like he
is
who'd you think about oh do i want to say it publicly oh yeah if you don't have
to
yeah oh you know family yeah personal people you know but i you know we you and
i in particular
are very fortunate we have a lot of people that help us be who we are yes you
know and uh
that is like the one thing that i think we really highlight at at the club is
that we really are all
happy we really are all lucky and we yeah we really enjoy our time together
yeah
feet off of each other i'm i'm so happy to like the the way this i i would say
the scene is like
incredibly incredibly supportive of each other in a way that like it's nice i
guess in this sort of
new system that we live in too where like you can just make it on your own like
you don't need like
i'm not auditioning for a spot that like fuzzy's auditioning for because we're
both brown
right you know like in the old days yeah there's no there's no reason there's
no reason for me to
be like damn i hope he doesn't get this right you know there's like it's a
system of like oh dude we
can all just create and then help each other yes like piggyback off each other
and like that's it's
like such a refreshing experience to have it really is the rising tide lifts
all boats and that's how
it should be and it happens everywhere too because like you know obviously you're
at the mothership
and you see how hard the door guys there crush but like i'll go to sunset and
sunset has some
fucking killers as door guys now especially because like they came up in this
experience where sunset you
know famously the ceilings are high and like the the room can be cavernous can
feel cavernous when it's
like tight and so they come up in a harsher like mothership the rooms are set
up for comedy
sunset it never happened that way the guy the guy died before he could make it
what he wanted to make
it and red band came in and just sort of saved it so he can open at the very
least so it's like they
come up in these harsh situations and like there's this one there's this one
kid at sunset his name
is well kid is very funny he's the grown man but uh mumford davis he closes
every single uh
uh death squad which is like 18 hours long so he closes every single one goes
up in front of a
tired beat audience and now he's just an absolute monster running with ankle
weights yeah i mean he's
running with the biggest ankle weights on to go at the end of that in that room
they're tired they've
been there forever but you think about it like that's how kinnison came up mhm
kinnison was the
they that was the kinnison spot was the last spot at the or you know and right
think about his style
that's screaming yelling in your face that's designed to shock an audience back
to life right just try to
keep brody that's don barris that's brian holtzman like those guys that develop
that act they could just
jolt you out of your complacency it's kind of by necessity right how to just
like keep keeping
someone's attention yes like bringing it back it's just so it's so impressive
that's what i miss about
the comedy stories i left before i got past so i never got those like late
night or spots those one
in the morning six people just survived i mean some of my best sets favorite
sets i've seen people have
are in those spots yeah damn you really made this work well sometimes like
reality shines through like
they have a real moment on stage where the comedy is just like people like oh
like i remember lara
bites had a set one time and i even posted it me and burt kreischer sat in the
back of the room
and she crushed so hard in front of there was only like 25 people in the room
right and by the time
she was off stage there was 50 people in the room because people were coming in
from other places to come
and watch her set yeah when you hear that noise you're like okay what's going
on exactly she was
just on fire she was killing yeah it's like i those spots are nice because it's
like you know your
jokes and certainly you have to work your jokes to get to a certain point where
like my jokes are funny
enough to showcase and work at the club and now that i'm at this level i got
the jokes now can i be funny
right you know beyond like what my written can i be just funny me as a person
that's you can kind of
really hone that in those sort of late night tough rooms yeah you got to do
those yeah yeah and that's
why you know the store at the end of the day even through hard and like good
times and tough times at
the store that's the reason why they always create monsters yeah the store
creates monsters and mitzi knew
what she was doing you know she had a method to her madness and she tweaked it
and got it to the perfect
form yes essentially used a similar form here yeah it's it's kind of like the
method to make comedy
happen it's like just people in like these tough spots over and over again can
you follow monsters
right can you follow monsters that's the best part about being at the ship is
like they i've had to
follow like theo and shane and be like damn i just gotta do this yeah and then
you and then and then
you have to follow like the emerging stars too because then they have a whole
separate energy to
them like i remember following both cam and james mccann after they both
started like popping and being
like whoa just watching the energy around them shift yeah yeah it's like australia
i know he'll be back
he's gotta be back he'll be back i can't believe they had to go back so funny
though he's the best so
he's one of my favorite guys out there because he's got such a unique like it's
his perspective it's
like you don't expect it it's coming out of him if you think the way he does
you get it yeah but if
he does it's really smart really funny high energy too like it's it's uh
because usually the hyper intelligent
go low energy it's very rare that a hyper intelligent person like who's
intelligent on
stage on purpose like that like he is goes high energy right that's uh that's
what makes him
unique to me too yeah it's because when they're when usually when comics are
being smart on stage
and i'll do this too they go soft they'll look at me think yeah mccann's like i
have the energy of
i'm in a bar yelling at you but it's about kyrgyzstan yeah yeah yeah we're
lucky dude uh yeah the the
the scene is thriving yeah yeah there's so many places to go that's why i did
mine at black rabbit
just a small little black box room that's been like i've had sets there and it's
like
10 people and they're amazing wow yeah yeah they're just they're just there for
comedy a lot of them
are like they tend to be like these sort of just out of college kids who can't
really afford to go
to like any of the clubs they're just they just have money for the first time
we're like oh we can
go to this little spot like 10 tickets just get introduced to comedy so it's a
bit of a younger
audience there well there's just how many spots are just on our street on our
street i mean like
there's within our street like within close like that you can walk to cap city
because it's like
one block over uh uh i'm not cap city i'm sorry uh vulcan no and sunset creek
creek creek in the cave is
one okay over in that area you have vulcan uh sunset creek um velveta and then
bulls these are bars that
run at least run comedy at least three to four times a week is bulls um oh fuck
i'm forgetting i'm
forgetting uh one of the places it's i'm blanking on it now so but bulls black
rabbit um if you want
to count roscoe's in east austin they're a little bit down the road but they're
still kind of in the
downtown area so it's nine right there narbar that's one i was thinking about
that's ten shakespeare's runs
it a bunch of maggie mays runs it i think three times a week so there's at
least 12 pretty much
dedicated comedy rooms and that's not including mics that's crazy that's not
including mics just in
the area when you say mics for people who don't know you mean open mic yeah
just open mic you're
talking about booked clubs of professional comedians yeah these are shows with
people and like there's some
of them are rough bar shows but they are shows and they're booked wow yeah and
there's it's you can get
on you can there's so many ways to come up oh you can walk you can walk i've i've
had nights where i've
had five sets and none of them were at the mothership wow i'm just you're just
out and about yeah it is
it is so and it's just different people getting up in different places it's
each each of the each
different place has their own ecosystem of comics you know because you you go
you go where it gives you
what gives you time right that's where you always that's the right way to go no
matter what yeah just
whatever is feeding you go that's where you go so there's different ecosystems
in each places and
this is it's really it's really fun and you just get to see people like man
just figure it out
and it's and it's fun to watch and they'll figure it out on the podcast end
they'll figure it out
on the comedy end and it'll all sort of works together it's got to be extra
dope for you too
because you were an early settler man i got i feel like i got to the gold rush
in 48 i feel like because
because when i got here there was only three it was me hans kim and derek and dylan
dylan was eight
years in but those are the only four of us that were like not famous headliners
that weren't new
comics basically right so we got to just do so many shows because the there was
no middle class it was
all it was it was like california it was all upper class and all like lower
class it was very that
now now it's robust now there's just a bunch of killers that are like
just moving here all the time there's this guy nick murphy moved from atlanta
what year did you move
here uh 2021 i moved here early i got on a zoom i got on a with dylan sullivan
we were i used to play
this uh i used to play we used to play game nights from the pandemic online
with our friends because we
weren't allowed out right and so he pulled me aside one day on discord and was
like you got to move here and
he made the pitch and then i was like i was pretty much there and then derek
moved here and he was like
you gotta and this was just when we're doing shows out of the vulcan this is
just shows of the vulcan
this was just but it was indoor shows man and so i i moved here and then i was
like because the way i
looked at it was like look either i'm gonna like la's gonna reopen and i'll be
working at the comedy
store again and i'll we'll have at least gotten up in that time and gotten paid
to go up because they
paid they paid for every spot here right if you're booked so it's like at least
got paid
and so i was like and then i'll go back to la with a little glitch but so so
when you came here
it was just like look i'll get some spots i'll get paid and if the comedy store
reopens i'll go back
yeah i'll go back and or the club was still two week two years away from
opening but it's like i'll stick
it out to the club and see what happens we were just starting to talk about
club back then right
yeah you would put it on the universe and that was enough for me to be like i
think he's gonna get
that done and so i took a chance and it ended up working and then i ended up
being one of the first
people like passed through there which ended up a huge huge blessing because
now there's so many killers
that it's like hard to get into the mother yeah there's so many like people who've
moved it's like
it's i almost tell people like it's a major city in that way in the sense of
like if you can
get good where you are first and then move to austin that might be better now
than a blind move to austin
right as an opener yeah as a beginner as a beginner yeah it's hard as a
beginner yeah it's like la was
for a while oh la la is super tough i imagine new york is super tough as well
the store was really
tough if you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots like bro you got to do
spots somewhere else right
you really should be better you're better off coming there with potential like
you've already
gotten a few years under your belt than like trying to figure it out because
the la mics are especially
brutal the thing is man if you guys didn't come it wouldn't have worked like
that was the thing it's
like the people that really are responsible for the movement the the the crazy
new scene here are the
ones who came before the club was open brian simpson tom segura segura was here
early man right
i told him about it he's like i'm moving and then bam i was like whoa and when
tom moved i was like
that's a big deal you know because tom was already doing arenas yeah it
required a certain amount of
amount of people to buy in yeah and and that i uh you know i'm very because of
that i'm very pro austin
of because like man if you buy in look what can happen like yeah there's you
shouldn't no one should
not be pro austin it's funny because lewis and tony were going back and forth
and arguing
like lewis shits on the austin scene right this new york versus austin thing is
the stupidest
fucking thing it's it's like they should both be awesome who cares yeah it's
unnecessary it's
unnecessary like in fight it's like catty girl fighting it's like why we both
clearly can exist
in a space where we can also help each other the new york guys are always here
and we're i feel
like we're always there but the point is what what tony and lewis were going
back and forth and
lewis said well la isn't even in consideration anymore as what's the best place
for comedy
in the country and and tony goes agreed and why do you think that is what do
you think happened
where'd those people go and lewis is like oh shit
but you know it's it i will say this because i was just in l.a i like i like
where the la scene's at
it's rebuilding stronger of course it is yeah it's the store it's l.a it's hollywood
it goes it goes
through dips it's done it before when i got there was at a low when i came in
94 the or was half empty
main room was never full it was oh and then there was no big talent there it's
always like that it comes
it goes new people come up it's legendary it's got a vibe to it it creates
comedy just by existing
yeah it's like it's still every time i'm there i'm like man this is the place
it's the place man
that's been the place since 1970 something i mean that place is crazy yeah you
could do what the
building is alive in that place that's crazy yeah you feel it it's like soaked
with the memories of
kenison and hicks and prior and here's what's crazy you know the bucket seats
in the back yeah if you go
during the day they might have repainted the wall so this is when i worked
there but when you go during
the day because i'd get there early and like right or whatever and you can look
where the bucket seats
are the outline of all the heads because of all the oil of the people leaning
back was just there so
you were just there and it's just the energy of all these great comics just in
the room with you
yeah it was it was it was an interesting place to like be during the day
because you could sort
of feel it very special place very special place you're never going to take
away from that but the
thing is it's like it should be and it will be even better than it used to be i'm
sure but the
point is it's like denying that austin is an amazing scene is just stupid yes
it's just stupid yeah it's like
and also don't you want another great scene do you want a limited amount of
options for comedians
don't you want more comics more comedy right and more places for you to end up
performing
shut up like now yeah now you can go to austin and spend a couple weeks there
and get a lot of time
and learn how to talk to people here there's so many in this world so many
bitches and those bitches never get anything done they just sit and bitch
nothing ever gets done yeah yeah they never progress
yeah man just video essays i like i watch all the videos
it's just so funny to me because they all start they all the the whole concept
that austin is ruined
comedy is very funny to me because there's so many comics that are blowing up
outside everywhere all the
time it's just it's yeah it's like my friend said it's a walled garden that's
what it is it seems
like the people are having too too much fun and if you're not there and if you
don't have aspirations
to be there you feel bad about it when i lived in boston the store was like mecca
like people would
talk about it you know it's like you had to make the pilgrimage to the comedy
store it's one of the
first things i did when i came to la oh no it's a big deal the first time you
go there i remember
looking at it being just the feeling in my heart the first time i went there i
hadn't even moved there yet
i went there just to watch i told them i was a comedian from new york i'm like
can i go and watch
a set i'm like yeah sure and they let me come in and i sat in the back and
watched and it was like
bodax it was terrible it was really bad it was like a bunch of cruise ship acts
like a bunch of
guys who had the same act from the 1970s they had never you know those dudes
that like you'll see them
at the store occasionally now that have an act from the 80s well these dudes it
was like a decade earlier
yeah when when i worked at la jolla there was one guy that they booked that
they had like some some
deal with mitzi that he got to perform once a year at the la jolla and man you
could just tell me it's
been you haven't changed this act since the 70s yeah they just never evolved
and you know and they
weren't getting spots when kinnison was around the place was packed and then kinnison
left and then he
got a billboard he put a billboard right in front of the the comedy store of
his new album that was coming
out like why did he leave the store oh i don't know he probably did something
stupid okay i think he
definitely uh fired off a gun because yeah remember he shot the bullet hole is
still there yeah yeah i
heard they fixed the the sign though no uh it's fixed the plastic i yeah they
might have i think the
the plastic was falling apart but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet
hole is still there okay
yeah i went i went and looked i made sure pretty crazy the kinnison bullet hole
is like part of the thing
there yeah but the cracked glass was also part of the thing yeah but i think
eventually it just fell apart
it's been like 40 years since that happened i mean that might have been what
got him banned not sure
but then he was banned and then uh when i came it was 94 so he was already dead
he was dead and hicks
was dead so it was weird okay and so that was a lot that was a lot was from
they were just kind of
missing that top yeah guy there was a lull and guys would occasionally drop in
to work out um but
they didn't put their name on the marquee no one ever knew they were going to
be there like chris rock would
come in and work out damon would come in and work out but the big comics were
there like dom marrero
would stop in there was guys that would stop in but then it was mostly us
younger guys holtzman
was a big part back then i can't imagine holtzman as a young guy i mean we're
only a few ages a few
years different it feels like he's just looked like that since he was a kid he
was a throwback he
looked like he was from the 1950s when i met him in 94. yeah like slick back
dark hair right always
the best always a nice guy yeah oh my god he's the sweetest guy in the world
and there's something
about guys who are like that on stage are always super sweet off stage all
because they like truly
get all the venom out it's like william if you watch william montgomery on
stage he's a raving lunatic yeah
yeah look at that picture oh wow look at holtzman to the right with a suit on
oh my god nepali who's
next to you look at that freddy soto that's freddy soto damn yeah boy that was
probably like 96
crazy yeah brian does look the exact same he had jet black hair and uh he would
look at you know what
he kind of looks like there's that's his headshot there's this guy on instagram
where his whole his
whole thing is it just he pretends to be a greaser oh really yeah but like unironically
and that's
kind of what he looks like but his it's really funny because all his all his
comments are just like yo
show us that hog like that's that's become the he does like greaser shit and
then all the comments
like but how come where's the hog reveal why is hog yeah it's become like that
he's so unironically
trying to be a greaser that the that the comments came up with their own sort
of culture around him
so it's comedy accidentally yeah the kind of mock they're all kind of making
fun of him but he's
genuinely trying to be portrayed this guy this greaser guy it's like mike the
greaser or something like
that it's so funny well holtzman was just i thought he was going to blow up man
i really did i was like
oh this guy's going to be huge this guy's going to be gigantic there was a few
guys back then that
i was like that guy's going to be big you never did you ever see mike ricka no
the early 90s mike
ricka was great man i don't know what happened i know what happened with him it's
so i don't even
know if he does comedy anymore yeah it's so like it's so easy people fall off
all the like it's
like because it is brutal the game is brutal it can be yeah yeah but you have
to have something brutal
outside of the game to keep you centered you should do something else that's
also difficult for me it's
obviously working out that's a big part of what keeps me sane i think it's
important for mental health
the people that are the most mentally unhealthy and unstable that i know all
have no control of their
body none of them exercise they don't eat well they eat terrible food they take
medications
and they're all up in the head and then little things can send them off a deep
end once a person
makes a mean tweet about them and a couple people pile on they want to jump off
a building right
you know there's a bunch of those people out there and i think like with the
pressures of this job
you have to for your own sanity you have to find some sort of an outlet yeah
some sort of a thing or
like take a walk that too yeah yeah it's so that'll help but it should be
something that's a little bit
that you exert yourself well that's like i was like that's a good place to
start if you're one of these
people that like don't do like yeah just a simple walk can really get the ball
rolling don't jump right
into crossfit yeah yeah nothing couch to crossfit yeah just be outside and like
smell the air and be
we're so because like does your phone send you the screen time updates what do
you mean like so my
phone will send me like a weekly like this is how much you spend on your phone
oh yeah yeah yeah for
me it's like damn this is like a full-time job that i'm spending on my phone it's
like it's disgusting
and i have to just remind myself like oh the reason i feel bad is because i'm
on this 100 i'm on this
and i'm consuming a fake reality that like i think one of the most dangerous
things that the the phone
like the online existence does is it calls like people like call their fans and
stuff a community
and it's not really a community your community or it has to be people you see
in person it can't be
this online possibly fake fan club basically well it can't certainly can't be a
large percentage of your
interactions with people that's nuts but i mean there is some sort of a
community that you kind
of cultivate by interacting with people on social media it's just at what price
right you know and
what price and then how much are you doom scrolling other than interacting with
people and having like
semi-positive experiences communicating with like sharing ideas how much of it
is just doom scrolling
right for me it was a it was a lot and so i backed off it heavy so i still
spend a lot of time on
youtube though my distraction time is almost all youtube no my i'm a doom
scroller yeah yeah because
you get caught you see one thing and you're like it's so easy to just do that
it is but i don't want
that because it makes me feel weird but youtube doesn't make me feel weird so
if i watch some really
cool video on you know ancient history or something it's i never feel bad at
all i'm like oh that was cool
like i don't i don't don't come out of it with any negative feeling i just come
out of it like oh that's
interesting i learned something youtube is like the modern television oh it's
phenomenal that's the
one you can just find some there's people making high quality things sometimes
i'll get caught up in
things that i don't even care about yeah like the uh i don't i'm not like a
huge horror movie fan i like
movies but but i found this one one page called nightmare movies and he just
explains his favorite
horror movies and he has a like great voice and i've watched like all of his
videos zero interest in
watching any of the movies i'm interested in watching him react to the movies
really yeah yeah
what's really dope on uh youtube also is these little short horror movies that
people make on their
own like real super low budget but like really interesting ideas there's a ton
of them man right
some of them are great they're really cool like eight minutes long yeah two
minutes long and they can
just get you yeah yeah there's so much entertainment i like watching people
make furniture for some reason
yeah i really do yeah i love watching people make like live edge tables and
shit and i don't know
yeah it's just it's just like oh this tickles me i like watching people cook i
like a i watch a lot of
cooking well it's it's so it's so like you can everyone's entertainment's so
like in their own lane
that you can come across a video be like eight million views and you've never
even seen right right
like true virality is tough like in the future are there going to be even like
a list celebrities
like that you know like or like it's going to be there's going to be less and
less like a like what
would you describe as like an a-list celebrity right right everyone has their
own sort of lane well
there's more celebrities now than there ever have been before for sure there's
more let's just say famous
people right there's more people that are known than ever before because of
social media like
think about all the streamers and youtubers and oh yeah austin has a huge
streaming scene it's yeah
yeah it's insane so there's that so that muddies the water because like you go
back to like let's go
back to like 1960 when paul newman was a superstar making movies how many paul
newmans were there
right yeah was it 10 yeah on earth like if you wanted to make a big movie you
got marlon brando
paul newman you know you have a few people like a star on sydney sweeney's like
level now right back
then that would be a name to sell movies now like there's movies that she's in
that people don't watch
right and that's like what like an a-list celebrity is now it's like they see
there's so much stuff
you're competing with there's so much content just period i'm always watching a
new show right there's
always a new show and they're fucking great there's so many great shows yeah or
not even just
random instagram accounts dude i watch this guy sandwiches of history all he
does is he finds a
sandwich book from like some of them from like the early 1900s and just makes a
sandwich in them
is any of them good some of them are amazing and some of them suck ass some of
them are like
some of them are like depression era you know what i mean it's like bread and
sawdust or whatever you
know like but some of them are some of them are like damn that's like a good
sandwich and i just
watch this guy eat sandwiches and be like this is this is a this is a great use
of my time making
an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here 1921 and take orange peels you mix it up
with mayonnaise and you
spread it on bread let's see his face he always he always goes i'll give this
sandwich a go he has
like a catchphrase i'm all about it hmm okay it doesn't look like he likes it
it's a terrible
idea that's a terrible idea orange peel sandwich the fuck out of here well that's
what people ate
yeah starving starving eating an orange peel sandwich yeah the sandwich was
made by a guy was in a hurry
right wasn't that the idea he just threw some fucking meat and some bread and
to eat it all together
yeah i think so and then the people were like wow what's his wasn't his name
sandwich he was like
the earl of sandwich i think it was something like that yeah and as i'm saying
that is is that real
though is that just like didn't we we definitely searched this before isn't
there an earl of
sandwich is that like a no there 100 is but it's also like a store and i'm just
like i'm like is that
even not that maybe just like a silly method i'll tell you what if if the
sandwich didn't originate
with the earl of sandwich what a mighty coincidence that is what a real deal if
there is an earl of
sandwich what is the origins of the term sandwich i'm stuck looking at the earl
of sandwich okay so
the earl of sandwich exists but just put into perplexity what are the origins
of the sandwich
i'm pretty sure it was like a military guy yes and he was like
fuck it just give me the bread and the meat i'll put it together and cut the
bread open stuffed it
in there because i think they used to just eat bread and eat meat eat bread
they just ate bread by
itself like stupid to combine them yeah yeah very autistically yeah keep the
food separate 18th
century england named after john montagu the fourth oral of sandwich aha
someone is the earl of
during a prolonged card game in 19 in 1762 oh that's right he was gambling that's
right now i remember
oh well now that gambling's so fucking massive now what cool food is going to
come out of that
that's already here all the fast food uber eats will deliver it right to your
table allowing him to
eat without interrupting play the practice creation popularized the handheld
meal among england's elite
there it is oh that's so far it used to be an elite food oh okay so it looks
like the romans had it before
it says similar concepts predated montagu uh such as the roman ophela which
involved meat or cheese
between bread slices that's a sandwich right they just didn't call it that
they finally had a name that stuck is there a current earl of sandwich i bet
there is yeah imagine if
he's gluten sensitive that's what i was thinking through is this but i didn't
get any good information
from it well now we know yeah yeah you want to talk about places to eat austin
has an amazing
selection of places to eat during the during the day the night leaves a little
yeah there needs to be
there needs to be a late night diner well we were talking about that last night
like one of the
things i really miss about la is the jewish delis like canter's yes we used to
go there after the club
we'd leave and we'd go to canter's and i would get a pastrami reuben with steak
fries
oh my god have you ever had a pastrami reuben from canter's yeah good lord that's
what you get
at canter's that's good yeah i mean it might be the best pastrami reuben on
earth it's right up
there with cat's deli in new york city which is maybe the king oh i've never
been there oh lord
cat's deli in new york city is legendary first of all you have to you get a
ticket when you get there
i don't even know if they accept credit cards you might have to pay in cash oh
i like you get a
ticket when you get there and you can't lose your ticket if you lose your
ticket you got to pay like
50 bucks because you take that ticket and on that ticket they write all the
things you get
so you go up to the counter and they're like we're gonna get you and these guys
that have
been chopping meat since the 20s you know and they'll slice you off a couple of
pieces of brisket
slice you off a couple of pieces of pastrami and you get to eat it while you're
there while you're
waiting for your sandwich to be made and you know you tell him what you want
and he pulls the
fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it up in front it steams coming off of
it he's piling it on
that rye bread you're like you can't wait and then he gives you a couple
pickles in there and then
you're like what else you want and then you move down the line like you get an
order of fries you
get an order of fries i want a root beer and then you get to the end and they
put it all on your
ticket and then when you leave after you've eaten then you bring the ticket up
to the counter
it's a weird old system so nobody pays attention so everyone loses their ticket
if you're from out of
town if you've never been there before you're like what the ticket what what
happened how much
is it uh so it's a way to it's a way to scam the tourists a little bit i don't
think it's like a
tourist fee not a scam well i just think it's how they used to account back
then they just never
changed it it's kind of the charm of the place right this weird thing show me
some canter sandwiches son
yeah some of that we were uh my when i was a door guy we were big swingers guys
that was the that was
show me cats yeah that was that was the that was the the diner we went to but
like swingers was great
that was a great diner yeah that was a great diner really good food and that
was open pretty late too
look at that son are you kidding me look at that pastrami with swiss cheese oh
lord that's so good
and they piled it up high and they've been doing it that way since the 1800s
yeah how old is canter's
1888 1888 jeez yeah 1888 look how good that looks oh you can see how she's
pulling it like that
the flavors oh yeah see this is what this is what austin is definitely missing
yeah we need
uh they need something late night something that we can all where you can go
and hang out and like
now i had heard that someone was opening a cat's deli in austin right but i don't
think it's
cats cat's deli from new york city no it's just called cat's deli cats never
closes oh coming soon
hold on go back coming soon on 6th street how far is that from us well we're on
six it's on west
it's on west six so it's like near over a current spot yeah what's that it's
taking over us like i
think there's like a bar there or something now oh okay yeah it's kind of near
where opening in the
same locations the og cats is operated for 32 years so it's way down by j carvers
yeah but this said
that's not that's a five minute drive yeah that's you can walk there yeah we do
that we do that all
time cats never closes but that was august 18th has there been any news since
is it open yeah no no no it's
it's going to take a year oh they're building it out yeah yeah whoa there's a
few places like that
that are just they got the name out and it's going to be open in a year and a
half so was there an
original cats is never closes or is this the one that's that that's where it
was it closed in 2011
so they lied no what do you mean fucking closed
yeah cats sometimes closes for 15 years by the way i would have never allowed
them to use a k for
closes like guys we're not kooky stop yeah you're not crispy cream yeah why are
you doing that right
um so expected in 2026 maybe 2027. oh okay well hopefully they yeah because
that's that's the big
hole right now in the austin game look at it though this is it new york style
deli menu with sandwiches
like rubens day-long breath breakfast dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes
entrees including
pork roasts and meatloaves oh my god it sounds amazing open 24 7. oh all right
that'll be it for
us that'll be it finally finally because that was the big hole outside of that
austin has like amazing
food we should help them but yeah after after 10 p.m it gets rough pickings
around yeah let's blow them up
when they open up a lot of halal carts which i wouldn't expect in austin that's
such a funny
going through there i wouldn't be like oh halal carts would be a good way i get
late night food
entrepreneurs yeah dudes recognize the need yeah there's the only the only
things you can get
oh there's golden tiger that's great they're open pretty late right they're
open until like you're like
1 30. yeah yeah that's pretty late that's pretty good but the comic life you're
like out at two i know
yeah looking for food at two yeah at two and you're like well i thank god the
the mexican hot dog carts
people are here right yeah that happened recently they start showing up yeah
there's always smart
people to capitalize because there's always i mean there's just so many people
walking around
drunk right just looking for stuff especially 6th street like you got a taco
truck you kill it
oh yeah on 6th street oh two in the morning all the fucking zombies and there's
that road when you
go up to 7th where when you're headed towards uh creek there's a whole parking
lot that's got
a bunch of food trucks oh yeah up in there that i've got that there's a place
my favorite place
called diddy dog they got bulgogi fries oh bulgogi fries bulgogi fries isn't
there a really good
cheeseburger place over there too um oh yeah there's the yellow burgers they're
pretty good but for me
downtown if i'm if i'm eating downtown i'm eating the bulgogi fries that good
huh oh yeah there's a
there are a lot so you can't i can't get them very often now that i'm older
that i'm like oh yeah i have to
take care of myself but when i first moved here i was on that bulgogi fried
diet son it's kind of
insane how many great restaurants there are here though it's like oh yeah the
numbers nuts yeah just
and good casual eating places too it's like you can really everyone who moves i
call it when you
move to austin there's the freshman 15. just from eating here just from eating
here you just get it
and then after you live here for like five years you get like i think you just
get so tired of
brisket that you can't look at it again for a while i i eat so much brisket
that i only go now when
like out of town people that's funny yeah i could eat it 24 days out of a month
i'll take six off oh no
no i love it yeah sometimes they the the terry blacks will come to the green
room and i'll be like i
can't look at this right oh no this is like day three in a row of terry blacks
not to complain but it is
terry blacks has those beef ribs dog that's the best ribs are insane i do
describe it i had that you
got to take every tourist it's like the disneyland of austin yeah yeah it's a
line that moves quickly
you can see everything's made and it's a huge place they they i think they're
like the highest volume
restaurant in the country really yeah i think in terms of like brisket and
barbecue and stuff i think
they were telling me that i forget what the exact statistic they told me but it
was like the volume
of food that they serve there is like as high as anywhere in the country that's
that makes sense
it's always there's always a line there giant line yeah yeah oh and they always
move quickly so
they're always getting people like in and out well you can only eat so much
like when you sit down and
eat barbecue you ain't sitting there for three hours bitch no you can't no and
you also always get more
than you can eat yeah yeah you always like yeah because it looks so good up
there and then like the
second you have like their cornbread you're so full those beef ribs they're so
rich you can only eat
like so much of it before you're like oh oh yeah yeah yeah i not before a show
that's always a that's
a mistake that people make bro last time we had a whole group of us i made a
mistake of sitting next
to metzger and i was in the corner i was looming over me with conspiracy
theories like kurt you gotta
stop try and enjoy these ribs yeah you gotta stop i don't know if it's just the
terry blacks in austin
because i know they have one in dallas i think too but uh it says 18 of america's
brisket is served
by them 18 of america's that's so much brisket that's crazy metzger's a fun one
in the green room
he said my favorite is when he'll be like what i thought this was common
knowledge you don't know
yeah you don't know there was there was something he said in the green room the
other day about like
morgan freeman and some deep conspiracy about morgan freeman and we're like
what the
are you talking about it's like well i thought this was common knowledge it's
like no no one knows
anything about what you're talking about is it the morgan freeman dated his
granddaughter step
granddaughter step-granddaughter yeah had a stated her and then the the
boyfriend went crazy and like
killed her and he was like i thought that was common knowledge it's like what
do you mean
is that true the boyfriend went crazy and killed that's what he said i was i
looked at it afterwards
and i was like i don't know where kurt kurt gets his news plugged in straight
from the matrix i think
i don't even know where he finds his stuff well he's on that jimmy door show
you know and jimmy door show the entire show is about exposing corruption and
conspiracies and
it's a lot yeah you live in that world all the time then everything becomes a
conspiracy and
everything doesn't leave a lot of room for sunshine also here's the thing there's
enough conspiracy
like we talked about the franklin scandal there's enough conspiracies that are
absolutely real
and provable that if you go into it you will kind of go crazy right i mean this
is what kind
of happened to alex jones this is what happens to a lot of people that get
involved in conspiracies
it's like you you find out how many of them are true and you start losing your
mind you're like
what is real like what really controls the world like what lizard people are
really at the center of
this whole thing right yeah this is kind of better just stay away at a certain
point just be like
yeah we should probably pay attention a little bit but some people must have an
obligation to do it
because if it doesn't get exposed then it's going to continue and the only way
that you can kind of put a
stop to this stuff is people have to get busted and they have to be held
accountable the public has
to get outraged so someone has to be making these videos but it doesn't have to
be you right yeah
for your own personal mental health it's just not good to absorb all of the
evil of the world
yeah there's no reason to take that on there's no reason just just find
happiness in your lane
yeah yeah that's that i feel like that's pretty easy to do yeah i feel like
that's pretty easy to do
yeah just just be a lot of it just be happy with where you are and work from
there yeah but it's
just like some people feel obligated to be a part of something you know and
then you you you find the
thing about like with metzker is like he wasn't always like this i was friends
with him long
before he started working with jimmy and he was you know fun and crazy always
like the same kind of
guy but now it's like the the obsession is all on deep corruption and conspiracies
it's like yo
but he's right he's right about a lot of it right which is nuts and he
maintains a lot of it in his
fucking brain just bouncing around in there like but yeah but i mean it's yeah
it just takes over
man i do think uh white precious his his common essential special that's low-key
one of the most
underrated specials of all time that the special is great very funny that
special is great he's very
good his writing's very good he's just very smart you know he's a great podcast
guest too basically just
got to kind of corral him a little bit you know yeah because he'll go from one
subject to the next
subject to the next all in like one rant you're like okay go back to that first
one queen elizabeth
did what yeah yeah you know yeah he's just uh well we have a lot of i mean he's
another one that lives
in austin now we have a lot of them it's pretty cool yeah it's uh i'm it's it's
so it's so fun
watching like all these like young kids to like rise up and be and just like
find themselves it's so
like uh i mentioned fuzzy earlier but just watching him on stage like he does
it it's so it's great
watching him just like figure out to not give a fuck and then see what comes
from that yeah like
right now he's doing these things at the end when he closes out like fat man he'll
also do a q a but
he's not famous so the questions are so much funnier and like the answers are
so much wilder because
it's just some guy that they all just met that's hilarious yeah so it's a it's
a very fun dynamic to
watch his q a's and just being because the whole audience is like wait we're
doing a q a why we had no
questions coming in that's funny yeah the first time i ever saw anybody do a q
a was seinfeld
really yeah he did a whole set he did like 45 minutes and then it was at the
paradise in boston
the paradise was a small club was a rock and roll club that was connected to
stitches and stitches was
the comedy club so for the comedy club like if you're a regular comedian i
think stitches probably seated
maybe 150 people it was like a little bit bigger than little boy and um so if
you were a regular
comic like a you know road headliner you would do stitches and then if you're a
big guy like jerry
seinfeld that had been on television you do the paradise okay so i was with a
date i think i was
maybe 20 and i went to see jerry seinfeld before i ever did stand up and he did
stand up and then
he came back out and he answered questions and he would just riff with the
audience and it was
great it was really cool he just started riffing about stuff and i guess that's
like how he was
creating material and coming up with new premises yeah do you get bits when you
do sometimes yeah yeah
yeah it's it's not an exact science like we'll have a whole fun q a session for
20 minutes and
there's no bits right and i'll do it five times six times and then one time bam
i got one and then
you just gotta grab that sucker and reel it into the shore yeah and just work
on it yeah and then figure
it out but i've bottom of the barrel is the best bottom of the barrel is the
best premise factory ever
yeah yeah oh yeah i feel like because there's certain people who do it like i
think you're i mean
you're great at it and i feel like you should like if you were thinking about
doing a special would you
ever consider doing a bottom of the barrel type special no because i'd say too
much wild that i
wouldn't want to get published that's a very fair point that's a very the most
insane i've ever
said has been on bottom of the barrel and just like i'm so glad there's a place
where i can get this
thought out because they'll look at you like yo what the and you're like hey
you know this wasn't my
idea you you wrote this down yeah yeah they get mad at you i remember one time
i got beastiality
and it reminded me of a story so the way we consumed porn as kids because you
guys had like
magazines and you'd find in the woods you have a bit about that yeah yeah that
was not so weird
there was these this was like pre-pornhub so these pre-youtubes of porn as i
call them but
there were these like dedicated sites they'd be like one of them was like mr
chu's asian beaver
i think you can tell what that's about that one was great because probably run
by a jewish guy
yeah for sure definitely not a mr chu there was a there was at the very end
there was this very
racist cartoon beaver and he would have like the buck teeth and the rice hat
and then he would rate
every girl out of fortune like out of five fortune cookies at the end of each
video that was the
whole premise of the site that's what we were coming up with important and then
one day and
we'd watch that together in like seventh grade like that's the r are huddling
around the magazine
and then one day we invited the weird guy and he had found one where people
fuck animals
yeah it was like wow and and there's been very famous videos i think there's
one called like mr
hands or something like that yeah yeah there's very famous like those
originated out of those sites
and so he was showing us that and then what i said on stage is it gave me the
life experience to
know that sometimes when you sometimes when you watch people a dog sometimes
the dog enjoys it
and they all looked at me like i was horrified which is a kind of horrifying
thing to say but i was
also like well you brought it up yeah i wasn't gonna tell the story unless you
asked me some dogs must
like it there's probably a girl girl dog out there that likes some dick oh i
mean there's probably a guy
there's probably a guy dog out there that's giving some dick right now for sure
oh yeah to some yeah
i've seen crazy ladies i've seen videos when i was a kid there was like this uh
video that a friend of
mine had and i remember one of us had to watch the door so it was like like a
century the door yeah because
there's a door down into the basement so one of us had to stand up at the door
and the rest of us were huddled
in front of this 12 inch television with a vcr attached to it damn and you put
the vhs tape in
there we're watching like a copy of a copy of a copy of barnyard betty and barnyard
betty was this
crate they took some crazy crackhead and they gave her money to suck a dog's
dick and get
fucked by a german shepherd it's weird to watch man yeah you come across some
weird out there dog just
pumped nut into this poor drunken sad alcoholic drug addict lady jesus sad yeah
sad yeah that's uh
but that's yeah that's that's how well porn's fucked it's just so it's so crazy
how it's just moved
towards i guess it's more empowering i guess what it's about individual
creators right like only fans
yeah it's you know the numbers you ever seen the numbers oh i saw the the one
lady that makes more
than lebron yeah that but i mean the number of actual girls that are on only
fans oh it must be
it must be depressing crazy yeah and it must be depressing how many people are
selling themselves
to like nobody exactly that's the thing the the vast majority aren't making any
money right and then
their pussies out there forever just forever yeah they're getting by a dildo in
front of the whole
world the guy saves it on his hard drive forever and ever and ever and ever
right and you were 19 you
just didn't want to work but i think the number between girls of 18 to i forget
what the age is
something in their 20s it's like 10 that's crazy wild this is it's but it's
content creation it's like
that's a genuine market that people are going for that's what that's the way to
do it it's also
pornography it is pornography right but i mean content creation is tick tock
instagram right you know
what i mean like that's content creation i think they view it in the same vein
wow like it depends
on what you do right i know that top lady and this is something sophie rain
sophie rain and this is
something that's just interesting across all gen z is that her thing is that
she's a virgin
right and that's how she sells which is like yeah which you know it take it for
what it is but like her
and that the nick shirley guy virgin nick fuentes virgin it's like that's like
a thing that you
can sell to gen z is virginity yeah you were talking to me about this in the
green room that like this
incel problem is unrecognized that there's a giant percentage of people that
are like voluntarily
celibate in this country yes i think so and it's like a lot of it is maybe this
sort of new religious
this sort of religious fervor that's sort of developing with them as well
because gen z is more
religious yeah when i say horny i don't get it they're not meat they're not
there's something like
some crazy amount of women under 25 have never been approached by a guy their
age like
in public what yeah yeah it's the game is dm's so it's all online so it's all
fueling that sort of
loneliness yeah gent they don't go out they don't go out like alcohol
consumption from gen z to
millennials is like they drink 800 less some crazy like that third spaces you
know the concept of a
third space no okay so you have work and home that's space one space two and a
third space is like
you know when i was in college we go to the bowling alley every day for one one
summer it was stuff
like that's a place that you can all go the library the mall places to exist
outside of the two spaces
those places are completely disappearing whether people are staying inside all
the time or they've
become too expensive like movies now are like very expensive so it's like kind
of priced out of being a
third space on top of all the things that are going on with movies so those are
also disappearing so
places where you can meet someone in person are gone so they're not meeting in
person a lot of it is
app driven and and you know and then you gotta wonder about like sex drive drop
off because well you can
access porn can like like instantly now right so you can at least play that
part of your brain give it
something right give it a rush of some kind that it would kind maybe get from
like a lesser version
of sex but still feel fill that void right you know there's also testosterone
levels have dropped
like fertility levels amongst women have dropped yeah miscarriages have risen
the the west the west the
the fertility rates in the west are like massively concerning like it's you
know we people like
worry about bringing in migrants but at the same time there's the only ones
having kids at replacement
level like the west isn't having that i i had my i had my 15 year high school
reunion recently and i was
in town i was like i'll go to this and i was like damn i'll probably be the
only one who's like not married
and doesn't have kids and most of the people weren't married or didn't have how
old are you now 33.
wow yeah most most of the people there just i would say have yeah didn't have
kids which is which is
wild 33 at any other generation this is a late time to not have a kid yeah this
is pretty for people
who grew up middle class millennial i would say this is pretty standard to not
have a kid and there's
certain i think driving factors too the fact that a house is unbuyable for a
lot of people my age and
younger that like because you're sold the dream on a house and two kids well if
you can't get the house
like it it sucks to be renting with kids right you know the instability
average home buyer age is increasing while the median age for all u.s home
buyers
reaching 59 yeah oh that's pretty late yeah record 20 25 40. median age for
first time buyers hit a
record high of 40. yeah so it's like that's how much that's how long you have
to like it's hard to
raise a kid without a house you know that's crazy and the american i i think
the american community in
in that way is dying because like you know you it takes a village to raise a
child so you raise a house
you raise a child in a house you bought your neighbors generally stay the same
there's a certain level
of comfort and like you know oh my mom can do this thing for me i can go to my
neighbor's house and
you know what i mean there's safety in that but if everyone around you is a renter
then your community
kind of disappears yeah there's no like set community that's a really good
point and it's like
bringing up a kids need consistency so bringing up in a world that's constantly
shifting it's it's
probably anxiety inducing to people who can't afford homes for sure definitely
on that and then
child care is expensive then if also your friends aren't doing it you know and
then women are waiting
later and later because they want to prolong their careers right and then it
becomes harder and then
you get into in vitro fertilization yeah there's definitely some this this with
this wave of with
feminism and capitalism there's definitely some like insidious ties there of
just like you can
you can oh like work create capital for us and then make it make it so it's
impossible or very hard for
one working house spouse to like just if the man is working to raise a kid do
you think it's on purpose
i think
maybe it wouldn't start on purpose but i think it sort of became intertwined
well isn't it just a
just a side effect of if women want to pursue careers yes you're gonna have
less children but
the that that is for sure but there's a thing about it there's this like almost
demonization
of the women who choose to stay at home like you know it's like look oh trad
wife it's looked down
on but but isn't that just because of the women that are pursuing careers that
give them that that look
down on yeah this is true and it's probably because they secretly feel like
maybe they're missing out
maybe it's it to me it's like i it's so funny that it both can exist it can be
the woman that go for
their careers and the woman that want to stay home it's just for one group to
demonize the other i
think i think it's just very interesting yeah it is weird but it's also like
population drop is a real
thing it does look like the humanity have you ever seen that population curve
of the deer
yeah it's like so i think humanity is kind of at that point where it levels off
hmm have you yeah because i remember my bio classes there which that would be
the population like
the yeah the exponential growth and then the level off and we've had the
exponential growth
and we're looking like that part of the graph well the thing is like there is
still exponential
growth it's just not in the west that's what's kind of weird right right poor
people poor people
want to have a bunch kids and they're having them all the time right and then
they want to come over
here yeah take over minnesota and then have their kids in daycare that doesn't
exist right but yeah
there is something happening in the west or like the the way that like the
south korea and japan
oh they're fucked they're like they're like actually they're like a couple
generations
away from like how you're going to support this whole thing right unless you
let people in
well or you encourage people to have kids if you turn it around with the
youngest people and then you
have like a blip for a while but then it gets back to it but man you have to
like make a concerted
effort and how do you encourage people to have children like because you're
going to have to have
women that don't pursue careers right right if you're gonna have five kids like
what are you
going to do you're working all day right that's kind of crazy right when you
have kids you realize
how nuts that is because it's like man your kids they they want their parents
you know and that's good
for them to have their parents around especially in this world of predators and
creeps and weirdos
right and things that can happen at daycare right now yeah yeah no it's uh it's
i don't know how they
would incentivize that to happen how do you yeah you can't you can't really
yeah because people are
selfish they want what they want in their life and you know when elon's like oh
experiencing population
to collapse they're like so not right bye right i'm going to the movies with my
friends you know what
i mean like the idea of changing diapers like i don't want i don't like her
that much to stick
around with her for the next 18 years yeah you also you also when you have the
ability to choose
everyone at your fingertips it's like netflix when you can watch everything you
watch nothing
so we can choose everyone you can't you don't commit to anything right yeah it's
just because
everything's these sort of superfluous like kind of deep relationships i know a
lot of people that
have used the apps and then found someone and got off the apps so there are
people but generally they're
a little older right yes they're they're like at a certain age you sort of like
look for that yeah
but like when in your early 20s when people were like settling down in their 20s
beforehand yeah it
made sense they were the only person around maybe like but now you're in a city
you can just it can
be like in a big one in new york where there's like an endless stream of people
there's no reason to
make a choice if you don't want to i always saw a video of a lady who created
an app where a man
is allowed to pay for her preparation for the date so the man sends her money
so they can she can get
her nails done get clothes for the day all these different things for the day
and this lady set up
this app damn i'm like smart it's kind of prostitution i mean it's sure i mean
it's kind of without the
guarantee of sex i know it's weird you're not just showing up these are my
clothes i drove here in my
car i'm meeting a person no it's that person is paying me to prepare for our
date right and creating
me into a person in his head it's well you're gonna get a very different kind
of person that's gonna meet
you you're gonna get a kind of person that's willing to give you money
immediately before he has any
connection with you at all right like he might meet you and you're fucking
super annoying and he's like
god damn it i gave that bitch 100 bucks that's so funny that's uh richard well
i think it was richard
fineman he was talking about getting girls because he was good at it and he was
like yeah i never paid
for the drink on the first date never something like that kind of crazy yeah
yeah yeah that's not gonna
get a lot of quality women ah well maybe it was back then it was different yeah
and you're kind of
famous in your world yeah he's a famous brilliant guy the scientists back then
were all like rock
stars isn't that crazy yeah yeah they're all like just everyone around them
yeah yeah yeah
and that was just making the atomic bomb just losing their minds that was the
crazy thing about
the oppenheimer thing right you're right heimer was a freak good for him it's
just out there
getting his on yeah fucking communist chicks yeah they're probably fun oh yeah
that's living
especially back then that's living dangerously that's that's the same level of
that's the same
level of cum as the gay republican senator it's like and this is this is banned
right yeah this is bad
right how many gay republican senators you think there are i mean not zero yeah
for sure in the closet not
zero no definitely not it's usually it is usually the ones that are like the
most pro like anyone who's
like still very pro anti-gay marriage now like loudly it's like what's going on
here or really into war
we gotta get those iraqis out of their homes oh yeah the just so just war hawks
with iran's going
through it right now what's going on right now yeah you don't know what's
happening in iran i know
about the protests and i know about killing the protesters yeah that's what
yeah because it seems
like there's some sort of a strike that might be imminent doesn't it it feels
like it like from
united states yeah i think the us is kind of gonna stay back for a little bit
you think so a week in
iran is they're weak right now well because they're dealing with internal strife
it's kind of crazy to
see how many people are on the streets i mean the iranian the average iranian
civilian has gotten a pretty raw
deal since the 50s since we installed the shah yeah we installed the shah and
then khomeini comes
and is like hey remember the democracy they stole from you because we had deposed
the democrat an
elected leader well we'll bring it back and they're like okay and then the clerics
just took over and
them and they've just been a constant stream of like the average the average iranians
is just getting
fucked by outside forces for so long well it's all about the nationalization of
their oil yep they
wanted to nationalize their oil and we were like no play yeah yeah yeah you
think you're gonna have
control over your own state get out of here did you you heard uh metzger's
theory about venezuela
last night no he's like he goes i think i think maduro is secretly working for
the cia he helped them
arrest him and then he is going to testify that the 2020 elections were rigged
wow if that comes true what what a what a babe what a babe ruth call what a
point to the sky that is
that's crazy that comes true i'm buying you a car yeah go find a find a car you
really like we're
gonna get you a car yeah that's crazy you need an american muscle car i'll get
you a mustang gt or
something but i will say this when when the iranians protest it's like admirable
because you know
they're gonna die a lot of them have already died a lot of thousands of them a
lot of them that ended
the same with the hijab protests where just women were disappearing for not
wearing any job it's like
damn bro that's how bad it got they really like it it they've gotten a raw deal
historically for the
last half a century and they're still fighting yeah crazy yeah i read when i
was a kid i read this book
called persepolis it's in my like greatest books of all time but it's uh i read
persepolis and i was
like maybe in high school early late middle school and i just realized like oh
man because you get
bombarded especially at that time we're in fighting in the middle east you get
bombarded with propaganda
of like what these people like over there and i'm reading persepolis i'm like
oh right they're just
people like she has a scene where she's just wanting to listen to music with
her friends but the
islamic police is like we'll fucking fuck them up if they get caught and they
just have these secret
parties with just listening to music secret listening to music parties just
listening to music jail yeah
just regular things what is this venezuela opposition opposition leader maria
corina machado insists that maduro rigged the 2020 u.s elections against donald
trump
and many other elections in the region what how third i saw that going around
too so i don't know
that kurt's too crazy on that one what yeah there's a this isn't even the first
one this was just i'm
showing you today how could maduro rig united states elections yeah what yeah
what is where is that
power coming from all of a sudden because if the power to rig election do you
think he would be able
to stop himself from getting arrested this is from the gray zone it says uh hugo
el polo
carval carvajal is likely to serve as the star witness for the u.s against maduro
max blumenthal reveals
carvajal is a coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to save himself he's
even indulging the trump
uh trump's conspiracy theory that venezuela rigged the 2020 u.s election
the great what's the gray zone is that so i think that's max blumenthal's show
okay so that's like a
source yeah okay okay okay he's legit okay yeah uh anti-war um um so if if he's
saying that maybe there's
something to it damn how would be how would he in what mechanism would maduro
be able to that's what
i'm saying to do an election what are okay let's find that out how do they
think maduro had a hand
in rigging the 2020 election what's the conspiracy yeah was it like he did all
the like he helped with
the mail-in votes right because that's the only that's the only way you could
steal that election
right like venezuela's pretty far away here's a tweet from before the election
even happened
nicholas maduro's campaign manager uh this is from 2024 just went on national
tv to declare victory
despite exit polls showing a historic loss for their socialist regime they're
setting up to commit a
bigger election theft than the 2020 election in the united states that's not
that's just someone's
opinion yeah how does that add up that they're stealing the election yeah
because they stole
it in venezuela but they did steal it in venezuela yeah that's for sure uh what
does it say looking
around that this is it says he he did uh clearly stole venezuela's election
threatened bloodshed if he lost
restricted uh what is that intel what is it international observers
international observers uh block
transmission of results yeah that that definitely happened i mean it was very
telling how happy the
venezuelans in america were when he was gone yeah that was that was a genuine
thing if they were
very very pleased about that yeah and then you had people you had like white
leftists be like this is bad
yeah yeah you're supporting a dictator it's like and the way they did it was so
unprecedented
going and stormed the castle and steal the guy yeah kind of shows the power
like it kind of tells also
the other countries like hey back off well it's pretty crazy what they did if
it's true with that whole
sonar weapon or sound weapon whatever it did that like literally like makes
your organs bubble
everybody like falls to the ground they're in writhing in pain and agony and
then they just stormed in
and everybody was incapacitated damn stormed in and fucked everybody up and
that was a wrap well if
that's what war is becoming that's kind of better it's kind of crazy that's
kind of better than like
ground troops and non-stop fighting in 20 years in afghanistan okay here's
lawyer sydney powell in 2020
talking about maduro having access to voting fraud technology maduro's going to
sing like a canary and the
democrats are screwed no wonder what okay is that lady even real that that
looks like a no the avatar
that the person the person tweeting this see this this this reeks of bot to me
yeah yeah follow me for
breaking news yeah yeah yeah why do you know yeah or just guy clearly account
clearly just making stuff
up um see if you can find an account of how they did it because there's an
account by someone who is a
witness that was there at the scene that said how fucking crazy it was that
these guys came out of
nowhere the helicopters came out of nowhere the drones they shut down all the
radar everything got shut
down and then all of a sudden there's drones flying everywhere and helicopters
and these dudes 20 guys
killed you know who knows how many fucking humans right no one got killed on
the american side they
captured him and his wife stuffed him back in the helicopter and they were in
and out in 10 minutes 10
minutes yeah there's there's that there's a very famous video of a twitch
streamer in venezuela just
out in the streets and then everything just really yeah whoa yeah it just goes
dark that's crazy damn
that's crazy and yeah you can and you're a human you can tell like oh something's
up yeah this is
not a normal everything like all the street light it went just dark well it's
crazy because we knew they
had some really wild technology but they didn't know we didn't know what they
were capable of until we've
seen this right like oh what's really interesting is my friend evan hafer was
talking about that
like a year ago on the podcast he was talking about it maybe less than a year
he's like if we go to war
with the cartels like they have no idea what kind of ultra violence they're in
for he's like the
that these guys are going to do when they get when they go plan this out they
had a they built a replica of
his house and they went through it blindfolded yeah so they know exactly where
every turn is where to
go they they get war planned this for a long time everything was uh false that
was false which one
from over the live stream going out yeah right but find the account of the
witness i just stumbled
across that on the way to it okay the the account of the guy who said he was
there if it's accurate
is crazy because he's he basically said they just incapacitated everyone and
then just went
in and murdered everybody and pulled pulled out maduro like no one could move
you can't do anything
and then these guys land in helicopters everyone's writhing in agony like just
running through damn
whacked everybody no one got shot back at crazy yeah but i think yeah i think
that's what warfare outside
of what's happening in russia ukraine that's kind of what warfare is now right
like oh is is iran gonna
is israel gonna go to war with iran we'll just quickly just take out all their
govern all their
generals real quick well that's if the threat of war is done you know you're
dealing with venezuela
versus the united states of america right but if it was the united states of
america versus russia
china it'd be a lot different it's a lot more fucked up yeah venezuela doesn't
have nuclear bombs
that's why right get away with shit like this right right yeah that's a fair
point that is part of the
thing you know and then it's like the whole thing's so transparent trump's like
immediately we're gonna
take the oil there's plenty of oil oh yeah working on a deal yeah i don't think
it was a coincidence
all of a sudden there was i had gas under two dollars last week in the gas
station across the street i was
like huh i wonder if that's venezuela related not in california california gas
companies are pulling out
valero pulled out of california it's gonna cost them one billion dollars and
they're like yeah it's not
worth rather leave yeah damn you well yeah the cost of living there is so high
too it's like like when
we talk about like young comics it's like it's what you have in austin is like
at least a way a much
cheaper quality of life and better and better yeah where you have space and
like you know things are
more expensive than anywhere else in texas probably for sure but like it's
still like gas was under two
dollars you can get you can like rent is stabilizing it's going down it's going
to go down i think a
lot of like california new york developers came in here and they were like austin's
where people are so
we can just build a lot but in new york and california you have a finite amount
of space
and also you can just build out and once you build out like the rent at my
place went down because
people were like oh just buy a house out there right and no one's living in
this apartment complex
and it like you know like if you live in dripping springs it's way cheaper and
it's only 30 minutes
away yeah everywhere in the country 30 minute commute is normal right right
yeah it's normal here here
what's nice about here is you'll see something that's 15 minutes it'll be 15
miles like oh that's
that's normal that's normal yeah yeah it was an hour and a half no it was
almost two hours i went from
redondo beach to burbank after a podcast at five and i was like oh i should
have just killed myself
that would have been a more effective use of my time locked up yeah yeah when
the 405 or the five gets
locked up it's depressing oh it's hell that trip down to san diego if you want
to do the la jolla store
you gotta leave early you gotta leave at noon leave at noon because that means
you'll be down in san
diego right around the time rush hour starts yeah yeah crazy yeah it's it's but
yeah it's just a
cheaper place to like for a young comic who like if it's time to move to a
place yeah it's like
austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality stage time as well it's also
just a better vibe
there's less tension there's less people yes yes i feel like there are times
where i would take a day
off in la and i feel like i'm falling behind because everyone around you is so
frantic and here it's
like oh i can breathe i can actually just enjoy this day off which is important
you gotta have some kind
of balance you know yes you want to be a little bit frantic but then you gotta
you gotta achieve some
balance and let your brain sort of recalibrate come back on just get a new
perspective yeah rest is so
we're so this so this grind culture for uh here we go get into this though same
kind of thing i'll
check the account fucked up account main main proponent for the drive to recall
gavin newsom
california needs to rebuild the better so it might be a fake person and then
there's no uh there's no
evidence to like a link or where they got the information from which is why i
just checked first
but they didn't they just have a long story here it just says interview
security guard so it could be
total propaganda right yeah it made up for me you know you could ask ai to make
up a story what it
right good story to put on twitter right and then yeah just don't you try to
find it anywhere else
is it only from this one guy yeah that's why i was finding it was caroline levitt
uh shared it
this is the that's the main account where she shared it from what you're doing
and read this
i googled that and she she said that a ton of times how long how long has carolyn
levitt been the press
secretary this whole time right aren't they how quickly do they move past those
they usually last
about two years except for that last last one yeah i wonder if that set a
precedent she decided to hang
in there to bid her and they were trying to get rid of her and she sucked saint
pierre right yeah
whatever her name was it wasn't saint pierre it wasn't saint pierre i thought
it was something like
kareen jean pierre okay yeah it was something pierre yeah bro she was terrible
she did it forever and
again the president is committed the president like she would do like the obama
thing with her fingers
yeah yeah yeah get the fuck out of here they just try she had a lie all the
time like that's her job
dead person yeah yeah that's hard to do that's that's pretty like you know you
have to keep juggling
a lot to be like oh this dead person's still alive i thought he was going to
die like immediately
after he left office i'm like he's gonna die soon like real soon yeah it's kind
of wild he's kept
going but every now and then he'll they'll trot him out and he'll start talking
he'll be at an eagles
game he's like yeah you know what's going on but every now and then they'll
they'll he'll talk they
still let him talk like and there's been a few of those where he'll talk like
thank god you didn't win
jesus christ if you came back if you know they never replaced kamala with you
and you won or you and
kamala and you won and you're this guy now well yeah well he he them by not bowing
out
yeah yeah it's like let him at least let him have a primary because because
then it just became
kamala versus trump and the whole like oh vote for me to fight fascism but no
one voted for you in the
first place the thing is if they had a primary who do you think would have been
at they probably would
have made her she would have probably the democrats would have decided on her
anyway i think because it would
have been too soon for newsom to run he still has that stink of covet on him so
he's that's why he
waited for this this go around yeah it's been enough people have forgotten
covet enough it's been
more than half it's been half a decade since it's people's minds like people's
political memories are
so short that yeah 2028 that's so far away from covet that he he can he can
just be like i did fine or
whatever the fuck do you think so i think so enough to enough to run enough to
probably get the
nomination you think he's gonna get the nomination who else who else i feel
like someone else can rise
over the next three years someone someone else would have if it had been an obama
thing it would be
like someone would be rising in this upcoming midterm so if there's someone
like that maybe but all it
takes is someone who's a compelling speaker who's not demonstrably full of
because the the thing about
him is he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate when someone starts talking
about the fraud and waste in
california how about the high-speed rail they spent billions of dollars and it's
like nothing
soon we're gonna get it done soon right there's so much fraud so much waste
yeah but i don't think
they have anything because you can right now all you can run you can just run
on like i'm not trump
and that'll be enough to get people be like yeah he's not trump what about that
josh shapiro guy the
guy who's uh governor of pennsylvania maybe i don't know it's just to me it's
like a it's just like a
political popularity contest and he's making a lot of noise a lot of people
upset with the jews right now
yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a fair point yeah that's a fair it's shapiro hmm it
just seems
like hmm yeah that's a good point it just seems like he's the one making the
most noise and we're
getting we're getting towards crunch time not really but like it's the closer
we get to the midterms and
there's no other big voice it makes me feel like it's gonna be him well clearly
he wants to do it he
definitely wants to do it yeah and he might just be powerful politically enough
to win that nomination
if that guy fucks up san francisco fucks up california and then goes on to fuck
up the whole
country oh it's very possible i think that's maybe not very possible but i
think it's it's a it's an
outcome it's an outcome he's definitely running it's going to be it's i don't
know what that ticket's
going to be but they're going to make us all trans yeah it's going to be like
it's going to be like a
newsome crockett that's my early call of what they're going to try to run no
shut the up are you
kidding yeah yeah i think so i think really yeah yeah i think that's who they're
because she's very
revered not aoc maybe aoc i think aoc is more reasonable aoc is much more
reasonable for sure
you ever see when crockett marjorie taylor green start going after back and
forth with each other
insulting each other and yelling at each other no that's oh yeah i did i did
see that that's a very
very fun moment oh nobody wants to be a representative that's the thing it's
like
all these successful business people and academics like they don't want to do
that no it's all like
lawyers and like yeah and creeps and creeps yeah that's the only well it's like
it's one of those
things where you're right the person who wants to do it probably isn't a person
who should do it probably
isn't gonna want to do it 100 because you do have to make decisions that
negatively affect millions of
people's lives sometimes and you gotta grease the pockets of your donors yeah
and to be like a
regular guy and want to do that it was probably would tear you apart to be like
ah here's a decision
that'll kill people you gotta be kind of a sociopath what's really is how much
of an impact
people like us have on elections now that's what's nuts like podcasters have a
big impact on elections
now well that's how it's really weird that's how much the mainstream media has
kind of lost its lead
drop the ball drop the ball hardcore well it's just by being unreliable like
being people that you can't
trust and uncensored conversation is like people are going to trust them more
because this is how
this is how people talk to their friends more often than not yeah then like oh
i can't say this because
this sponsor is going to be mad at me right you know like this this is this is
just a much more
accessible way of finding out people's real thoughts and a lot of it is just
how we talk i mean this
there's been so many times we've been in the green room that totally could have
been a podcast right
just put a camera on it live in the green room it would up the vibe right but
it would be a great
podcast yeah it would it would it would up the vibe yeah it would lose that
quality that would make it
a good podcast if we were trying to actually podcast yeah yeah definitely
definitely yeah all right
brother well i'll see you tonight i'll see you tonight and tell everybody your
special it's out it's on
youtube it's right now it's called too soon check it out it's uh i'm very proud
of this material it's great
material man and you've been killing it you've been killing at the club and the
new stuff's fantastic
too thank you and yeah i'll go to that hair look at that hair every time i've
been on here i've had
different hair today today i went cornrows yeah yeah you've had the cornrows
for a while now right
just a week or so i did it for a sketch and then i was like i kind of like this
yeah it's crazy for
this guy this hairline to have cornrows all right my brother appreciate you see
you tonight bye
you