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Brian Simpson is a stand-up comic who hosts the "Bottom of the Barrel" improvised comedy show at the Comedy Mothership and his own podcast, "BS with Brian Simpson." Watch his new special, "Brian Simpson: Live from the Mothership," on Netflix.www.briansimpsoncomedy.com
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Uh, did you watch it?
Did you watch the UFC?
No, I saw my lights.
Islam Makhachuk.
Fuck, dude goes up one weight class, goes up to 170.
He was the 55 pound most dominant champion ever,
most title defense in 55 ever, just dominates at 170.
Like, every round.
People are saying it's boring, but listen, man, it's boring.
If you're a casual, the fact that he was able to do it every round,
it was a little frustrating because you wanted Jack to try to adjust,
but he couldn't, man.
Islam shut his game down right away.
He low-kicked the shit out of his front leg real quick,
had him limping real quick.
Like, within the first round, he had hit it three or four times.
Bad.
I imagine being Khabib, you know, just your protege is coming in.
And Khabib's even better than him.
Right.
That's what's so crazy.
That's how good those guys are.
Khabib's not better stand-up, though.
Islam has really good stand-up.
Like, his stand-up, Khabib's stand-up was a means to an end.
It was like, his stand-up was to crack you so he could get a hold of you,
fuck you up, just drag you to the ground and smash you.
That was Khabib's move.
But Islam is fucking KOing people, man.
It's different.
He's different.
He's head-kicking Volkanovsky.
That's a, it's like a different level of stand-up.
Yeah, Khabib's saying, you're going to be better than me.
Crazy.
Crazy.
The Dagestani boys is here to stay.
You know what's crazy, dude?
Bilal Muhammad, you know, who was the champ at Welterweight,
went down to Dagestan and trained with those guys.
And he was like, I thought I trained hard.
I really did.
I thought I trained hard until I trained with those guys.
That's all.
I'm going to follow that advice.
If I ever have a son, I'm just dropping him.
As soon as he's hit puberty, I'm dropping him off in Dagestan.
He's saying, leave him here, forget.
That's the thing they always say.
Take him to Dagestan, two, three years, forget.
Yeah, for real.
For real.
Then he comes back telling you what to do.
How are you going to fuck with that?
Because that's real.
That's how those dudes are really rolling out there.
That's how they're really living.
They pray five times a day.
They're super religious.
There's no gambling.
There's no drinking.
There's no partying.
There's just training.
Just training.
Just training and training with a bunch of fucking animals.
Eating together, training together, just getting after it every day.
And then it's iron sharpens iron.
Because everyone who comes out of there is a fucking killer.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Yeah, you got to be real.
Most people don't want to live that life.
Yeah.
And they don't forgive the disrespect.
No.
No, they just fucked Dylan Dennis up this past weekend.
Did you see that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was the fight in the crowd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They don't forget.
You got to watch what you say.
Bro, and they're, you know.
The Agostanis, they not talking shit for promotional purposes.
No.
No, no, no, no.
You got to be real careful.
No.
That's down in the marrow of the bones.
Do you think that there would ever be, like, do you think Conor could ever
apologize to Khabib and, like, bury the hatchet?
Or is it too?
He would have to be in private.
And he would have to really mean it, man.
You know?
He would have to really mean it.
And you'd have to convince Khabib that you really meant it.
And that it was all, you know, because he just doesn't play that game.
That talking shit to sell a fight game.
He doesn't play that game.
Especially when it comes to, like, his wife, his people.
Oh, everything, man.
Everything.
I saw a clip of DC saying, like, he did, he had, like, Conor on his show one
time.
And Khabib was like, no, what's that about?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, like, that's my enemy.
Right.
And you're my friend.
Yeah.
And, you know, DC was like, oh, yeah, I didn't look at it that way.
But I had to check myself, like.
Yeah.
Because if you're a journalist or if you're doing a podcast, you're going to
have some people on that don't like people that are close to you.
But you got to, like, that can only go to a certain level.
You know, if someone is your, like, sworn enemy.
Oh, right, right.
And this other guy is your training partner and your brother, you can't really
have that guy on.
Oh, yeah, of course not.
Yeah.
Absolutely not.
Like, there's no scenario where Khabib is going to be friendly with Jon Jones.
Because he knows the history.
Like, he might be respectful.
Exactly.
But he ain't going to catch him kicking it.
Yeah.
Nah.
Well, I think Jon and DC have pretty much buried the hatchet.
Really?
Yeah.
I think they have.
I think they communicated.
I think they've had some interaction.
You know, it's like, look, when you have two bitter rivals like that and one
guy comes out on top, this is always going to be that way.
Always, forever.
Yeah.
Because they're different kind of people.
I forget that sometimes.
Like, the competitive, the people that are, like, also competitive.
Totally different kinds of human beings, man.
It doesn't go away.
Like, their drive is, it's like, you don't understand it.
You don't live it, you know?
Yeah.
And, like, wrestlers, like, elite wrestlers are the only people that train the
way, like, Khabib and his crew train.
Like, in any other combat sport, like, if you're coming over from kickboxing
and, you know, and then you want to fight MMA and, you know, you think, well, I've
already trained like an animal already.
Like, there's a difference.
There's a difference in the kind of exhaustion that you get from, like,
hardcore wrestling training, and that's something that these guys have that, it's
like, that's why wrestling is the number one base for MMA.
Because anybody who gets really good at wrestling, you've got to be a fucking
animal.
You've got to be a fucking animal.
Yeah.
I wrestled in high school the first couple years, and it was like, I was like,
this ain't for me.
You know?
It was, it was hard.
It's hardcore, man.
It's so hard.
It's, it's, because besides the technique and stuff, you have to be able to
suffer.
Yep.
You're training to suffer.
Yep.
Yeah.
And they break you all the way down, every single practice.
Training to suffer, and then the losing weight.
The losing weight and competing on the same day.
You know, I went to school with this kid.
He was 5'6".
All his brothers, like, 6'1", it's because he wrestled all throughout his
childhood and cut weight all through his childhood.
He essentially starved himself and stunted his growth.
Well, my friend Jeffrey, you know, Berner used to work at the club.
He used to perform at the club, but he was a wrestling guy, you know, did real
well in California and all that.
And now he, like, he doesn't, he doesn't know when he's hungry.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
You know, like, he just has to eat, because he's like, oh, I haven't eaten.
But his, whatever connection it is, like.
He broke it.
Yeah, like, he'll forget to eat.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
It's like that, it can really fuck with you.
So usually it fucks with guys the other way, where they cut weight too long and
then they just blow up like balloons when they don't have to fight anymore.
They get crazy and they just can't stop eating.
They develop real eating disorders.
It's like, it's really common amongst guys who cut weight.
Well, that's when I quit.
I did a tournament and it was the first tournament my brother was coming to see
me and I missed weight by a pound or something like that.
And so I still got to wrestle, but it was like in the loser's bracket or
wrestle the, you know, people off on the side.
And there was a guy that he had on what I know now is an insulin pump, but I
didn't know at the time.
Oh, you told me this.
Yeah.
And he just kept fucking me up because I didn't, I was scared to hurt him and
he didn't give a fuck about me.
And I got my ass whooped.
And then, and then when it was finally all over, I was like, and I went to the
vending machine and I fucking opened the snicker bar.
And my coach came over.
He was like, what the fuck are you doing?
You know, I was like, uh, well, the tournament's over.
He was like, you miss weight.
You can come over here and eat snacks.
And it was, and I was one of them kids were like, I was just defiant.
And I was like, fuck you.
You know, and that was the last time, that was the last time he saw me.
I was like, you know, cause if that's what this is going to be, I can't do it.
No snacks after losing.
Yeah.
Especially missing weight.
I mean, he had, looking back, he had a point.
How much did you miss it by?
A pound.
I miss it by, cause, cause, cause you know, it's like, you can't, it's certain
households where like, you know, my mama didn't give a fuck about no making
weight.
You gonna eat that food.
You know, it wasn't like, I didn't have control over my diet.
Right.
Yeah.
So then you would just have to run it off.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Run it off.
You ever figure out how much calories you actually like burn when you do a hard
workout?
It's not as much as you think.
No.
Like this dude, I forget what he ate, but he had some crazy meal with like
fucking pancakes, pizza and all kinds of shit.
Like 10,000 calories or something like that.
And then he went running to burn off the calories and he tracked it like on an
app.
He ran for 10 hours.
He ran like 30 miles.
Cause he was, yeah, dude's in really good shape.
But when he did this, like he was tracking like where is his cow, how many
calories he had burned so far.
And it took him like a marathon, like 30 hours of running to burn off a
thousand calories, 30 miles or other 30 miles of running.
No, it was more than, it was like 10,000 calories, whatever it was.
You know, I forget what he ate.
It was like pancakes and all kinds of crazy shit.
Very calorie.
But the purpose was like to see what happens if you eat all this stuff.
Like what does it actually take to burn this off?
So he measures all the calories and then he just goes out running.
It's kind of, it's kind of disappointing when you realize.
It takes a long time.
It takes a long time to burn off 10,000 calories.
Like that's a lot of working out.
That's why I'm all, I know I'm going to stay fat until I die.
You know, cause I, I got this, I got this row machine and then like it tries to
tell you how many.
It is, it is more discouraging than anything.
I had to turn that shit off.
Did you lose any weight when you did that carnivore diet for a month?
Oh yeah.
How much did you lose?
Um, I don't know, maybe like 10 pounds.
Yeah.
Well imagine if you did that for like six months.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Do you think you could?
The diet is everything.
That's the whole way to lose weight.
You don't really lose weight in the gym.
I mean you do.
You lose a little weight.
Your body gets toned.
You get healthier.
That's all good.
But the real way you lose weight is your diet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just discipline.
It's hard.
You know.
It's hard.
It was easier when I was poor.
Yeah.
You know.
Of course.
Yeah.
Of course.
It's, it's, cause I always, I try to tell people this, but it's like, when you,
when you're
your own boss, you can't also be a shitty employee.
Right.
You know, like I'm the one setting the rules, but I'm also the one enforcing
the rules and
I'm like, you good.
Yeah.
That's funny.
You get it next time.
Yeah.
You almost have to create a boss in your brain for like certain things that you
have to do.
Like a general just tells you what to do.
Yes, sir.
You just fucking go do it.
Yeah.
Gotta be a robot.
David Gawkins could, could definitely sell an app, just a motivational app.
He could, but.
Just calls you a bitch every morning.
Yeah.
I mean, really all you need to do is just go watch his videos.
If you want to get motivated, just go watch those, that guy's videos.
Yeah.
Do people ever go to like, just go stay with him?
Yeah.
He's done that before.
David Eiler.
Is that who it was?
No.
What was his name?
Who he stayed with?
Yeah.
The dude that wrote the book.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I can't believe I can't remember his name.
Like he's on some like Diamond Dallas Page shit where like he'll just.
Well, he, not, not really.
This dude was writing a book.
Jesse Itzler?
Yes.
That's it.
Stayed with him.
And, you know, David's like, all right, we're going to train.
And, you know, you're going to do whatever the fuck I tell you to do.
And we're going to do it.
I forget how many days he did it for.
He wrote, he wrote a book about it, right?
Like living with a Navy SEAL?
Oh, no.
I think he did it for like 30 days.
You probably got to pass a physical just to.
Well, yeah, you could die.
You could definitely die.
You could definitely have a heart attack.
But see, that's the thing.
He don't care if he die.
Right.
Yeah.
He's ready to die.
Remember, he had something happen, some kind of heart thing.
Rhabdomyelosis.
He had rhabdomyelosis.
He's had a bunch of things.
He's had heart surgery.
But he had rhabdomyelosis that he got because rhabdos, when you push yourself
so hard.
Let's put that into perplexity, our sponsor, and find out exactly what rhabdomyelosis
is.
Because I'm going to fuck this up.
What is perplexity?
We got an AI sponsor.
No bullshit.
Perplexity, yeah.
What, is it like a doctor?
No, it's an AI.
It's an AI, large language model.
And it gives you answers.
So, process is when muscle tissue damaged by trauma, excessive exercise,
prolonged immobility,
metabolic or genetic disorders, infections, toxins, or certain medications.
So, obviously, in David Goggins' case, excessive exercise.
So, the muscle cell breaks down.
Substances like myoglobin, creatine, kinase, electrolytes, and enzymes leak
into the blood.
Myoglobin filtered by the kidneys can cause urine to turn dark brown or red.
And in large amounts can cause acute kidney failure.
So, when your piss starts looking like Diet Coke, that's when you know you got
a problem.
I think you just gave Hollywood the worst idea.
Duh.
Instead of people coughing into a napkin so you know they're sick, they're
going to be taking a piss and it's going to turn on syrup.
Well, it's only if someone works out so hard that your body's breaking down.
That's really what it is.
Like, you're literally working yourself to death.
Yeah.
But then this crazy motherfucker finished the race.
Mm-hmm.
Went to the hospital.
He went to the hospital.
Recovered in the hospital.
Went back to the exact spot where he stopped and completed the race.
And then did, like, 100 push-ups at the finish line.
He's like, you just went to the hospital for doing extra.
You just can't.
You know, you just have to accept that's who he is.
Nah.
That's who he is.
He's got no knee cartilage.
He still runs.
He's just a different human.
But, again, it's like the Dagestan thing.
Like, there's levels to discipline and commitment.
And those guys have – it's a very high – it's also, like, very high-level
training, too.
It's not just discipline.
It's like they're very technical.
Abdulmanap, who is Khabib's dad, was a phenomenal trainer.
Just phenomenal.
But where did he learn all of this?
Well, it's all, you know, Rush and Sambo, and they all have, like, a long
history of – like, I think his dad – let's Google this just to make sure.
I'm not speaking out of my ass.
But, you know, you've got to think of, like, Sambo or Combat Sambo is – that's
where Fedor Emelianenko came from, too.
So, Russian Sambo is, like, MMA, but they wear, like, a judo gi top, and they
have shorts on and wrestling shoes, MMA gloves, and fucking headgear.
And they have Combat Sambo championships.
They throw each other using the gi.
They have ground and pound.
They're kicking and punching.
It's a crazy sport.
So, it's like a judo mixed with –
It's like judo mixed with MMA.
Oh.
But they're wearing wrestling shoes.
Like, it's really kind of crazy.
But there's no ground and pound?
There's ground and pound.
Yeah.
It's basically kind of MMA.
So, Abdulmanov, he was named by the Russian Book of Records as the most
successful Combat Sambo coach in the country.
So, he was the head coach of Eagles MMA, coached two UFC champions, his son, Khabib
Nurmagomedov, as well as Islam Makachev.
But, so, he practiced from a young age while serving in the Soviet Army.
Soviet Army began to practice judo and sambo.
First big success as a coach came to his brother.
Nurmagomed, Nurmagomedov, won at the World Sambo Championship for Ukraine's
national team in 92.
He trained a total of 18 world champions through his coaching career.
That's how good that guy was.
18 world champions.
That's crazy.
Show him a video of Combat Sambo.
Like, how about – show Fedor competing in Combat Sambo.
It's kind of crazy when you see him because he was competing in Combat Sambo, I
believe, while he was also fighting in MMA.
He was still competing for Russia in Combat Sambo.
And there's a difference between Combat Sambo and some other kind?
Yeah.
Well, there's Sambo, which is, like, just the grappling art of Sambo.
But, like, look at this.
They're fighting with punches, with the grappling gi on, and shoes on.
This is crazy, right?
Oh, wow.
Isn't that nuts?
They got wrestling shoes on, shin pads.
Oh, no knees.
Yeah.
They can't throw knees here?
Is that what's going on?
I don't know.
I don't know what the rules are.
Because I feel like if they could, he would have thrown one right there.
Pretty crazy, man.
So that's Fedor when he was world champion in MMA.
Maybe the greatest of all time.
He's definitely in the argument of the greatest of all time.
Fedor?
Yeah, it's the argument is him, Cain Velasquez, for heavyweight, Francis Ngannou,
and John Jones now, that he's a heavyweight.
But he hasn't really, the only heavyweights that he really beat, he beat Stipe
when Stipe was kind of at the end of his career.
And he beat Ghan.
But he caught Ghan in a guillotine real early.
Clearly one of the greatest fighters of all time.
But the argument of him being the greatest heavyweight, he's only got two heavyweight
fights.
Then the other guy is Fabricio Verdum.
Fabricio Verdum, on paper, has one of the best arguments because he tapped
everybody.
He tapped all the world champions.
And people forget, man, because they only look at a guy when the guy's lost.
Like, MMA fans, once someone loses and they start, they have a few losses in a
row, people forget how good they were when they were in their prime.
And Fabricio Verdum, in his prime, tapped Fedor Emelianenko, Cain Velasquez,
and Minotauro Noguera.
Which is crazy.
Weren't you saying there's a window, right?
Was it nine years?
It was about nine years.
When fighters can beat at their best.
But I feel like that heavyweight window gets shortened real fast.
It gets short.
What's the most defenses in a heavyweight?
It's Stipe.
It's like two or three, right?
Let's find out.
It's just three.
Stipe Miocic is the, he's the consensus most successful heavyweight of all time.
You could say maybe he's the greatest of all time.
You know, it's all when you catch him.
I mean, the guy got through Francis in that first fight when Francis was just,
like, taking people's heads off.
Like, they were attached with sticky glue.
With three.
Yeah, three.
Three.
You would think it would be more than three, right?
Oh, man.
Because, like, all the other weight classes, like, uh, what's light heavyweight?
It's like five.
Well, he's got four.
Hold on.
Scroll back up.
Oh, this thing is three in a row.
Yeah, three in a row.
But he's got the most title defenses.
Scroll back up, please.
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So he's got the most titled defenses in the division's history with four.
Oh, right, because he took the belt back from Cormier.
Right, and then defended against Cormier, and then defended against Francis,
which was the craziest one.
And then lost it to Francis.
No, no, defended against Francis.
Oh, no, no, I fucked this up.
Defended against Francis, then got knocked out by Cormier.
Cormier knocked him out after the Francis fight.
No, you're absolutely right.
Then they fought a second time, and Stipe beat him, stopped him.
That was the time when he was hooking him to the body.
Body shots, yeah.
Oh, my God.
He had that beautiful left hook to the body that he just had wired.
So he beat Daniel, beat Daniel again, he beat him by decision in the third
fight, and then in the next one he fought Francis again and got KO'd.
That was a brutal one.
And then John Jones hit him with that beautiful spinning back kick to the body.
But it's like he's in the argument, too, for one of the greatest of all time.
My thing about Fabricio, though, is people forget how hard it is to submit a
guy like Fedor Emelianenko or a guy like Cain Velasquez.
And to be the guy that submits all, like, out of the guys who you consider
possibly all-time greats, he submitted three of them.
That's nuts.
When Velasquez first came on the scene, I thought nobody was going to be able
to beat him.
Bro, he was a monster because he was a heavyweight with cardio like a
lightweight.
It was nuts.
Nothing like that.
Yeah, but everybody has their day, man.
Yeah, there's nobody that's going to beat him.
Well, what happened with Cain is he didn't adjust to Mexico City.
So they had a fight.
Cain and Fabricio fought in Mexico City.
And Mexico City, I think, is like 7,000 feet above sea level.
Word?
Yeah.
Put that in there.
Let's see what complexity says about that.
I'm pretty sure that's the case, though.
I think it's about 7,000 feet above sea level.
And it's real thin air.
Also, it's a lot of pollution.
So it's not like the best air.
Like, it's not much air.
And it's polluted.
And Fabricio got there way early, like months in advance.
7,350 feet.
Yeah.
Above sea level.
So real, real high altitude already.
So your cardio is already going to be taxed if you're a heavyweight.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's 2,000 feet above Denver.
Well, why didn't he go?
Did he have a good reason?
I think there was some domestic issues.
Oh, man.
I think someone didn't want him leaving.
You know, he only got a chance to be out there, I think, for two weeks.
And that's not enough time.
That's not even close.
Not even close.
Fabricio was up there, I think, for six months.
I think they told him that he was going to be fighting for the title.
And I think he went up there for, I might be talking out of school, but it was
many months.
It was at least four months.
And he was up in the mountains above Mexico City.
So he's like, fuck it.
Let's go 9,000 feet.
Let's get crazy.
And so got accustomed to even higher altitude.
And then when he came down, he was in prime shape.
And he caught Kane in a guillotine and submitted them.
It was nuts.
It was like seeing him, like I said, he submitted three of the greatest of all
time.
Like that alone, you've got to think.
So he showed up two months early.
Verdum did his homework prior to the fight.
Showed up two months early and established a training camp in the mountains,
conditioning his body to even higher elevation around 12,000 feet.
So I was wrong on both counts.
It wasn't four months.
It was two months.
And he was at 12,000 feet, which is fucking crazy.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
He said, for the first two weeks I was here,
it felt as if I'd never trained before at all.
I was so tired.
So if you got used to doing that, okay, so, okay, Kane only went 10 days early.
Oh, my God.
I feel like that's some shit that George St. Pierre would do just for every
fight.
Right.
Get an oxygen deprivation tank or something.
Well, BJ was doing that for a while.
BJ Penn was sleeping in a tent.
See, it was a plastic tent that he would seal off and would sleep inside of it.
Like you put it up around his bed and there was a thing that sucked oxygen out
of the air there and it made it like you were sleeping at high elevation.
Apparently, that's the move.
Apparently, that's the move.
The move is sleep at high elevation but train at low elevation.
And the reason for that is when you train at low elevation, you have more
oxygen, you can get more reps, you can put in more rounds, you can put in more
work.
So – and then the recovery is where you really want your body to be adapting.
So then once you're done training, go back up.
Like say if you were training in like in the valley and then you went up to Big
Bear and you were sleeping at Big Bear, which is like – I think Big Bear is
like 6,000 feet or something like that.
But doesn't that only work if the fight is at – it's not at elevation?
Like if you're fighting him.
No, no.
The idea is sleeping at altitude is all you need.
Sleeping at altitude gets your body – the whole thing is about getting your
body to sort of adapt to this new altitude.
So if you just sleep at altitude, you can fight at altitude.
Exactly.
Oh, okay.
Exactly.
You'll have more oxygen.
You'll have more – and you'll be able to work harder.
Like this – so it's like they used to think training and sleeping at altitude
is the move.
But now they think actually it's probably better.
And maybe this is debated.
I'm not sure if like the – there's a consensus is out.
But I think what they're saying now is train at sea level and then sleep at
altitude, which makes sense.
It makes sense.
Yeah.
That's for people that's already training.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Definitely.
I've run out of breath just going up to altitude.
That's why Denver – whenever you go to Denver – like I love doing comedy
there, but it's so dry.
It's dry.
It's so dry.
Your boogers get sharp.
Yeah.
Your nose starts to bleed.
Yeah.
Your skin is all flaky and shit.
There's no air.
And then, you know, you can get higher than that too.
You can go to Aspen.
When they used to have the Aspen Comedy Festival, they used to have oxygen
waiting for you backstage.
Word.
Yeah, in case dudes started fainting.
Why'd they stop that?
I don't know.
I think, you know, they stopped a bunch of those comedy festivals.
They had – where was the original one?
It was in Montreal.
And then they started doing it in Aspen.
And I think they did it in Vegas too for a while, if I remember correctly.
It was the same people?
But it used to – see, those things used to be effective.
It used to be you would, you know, take time off the road, go to Montreal, do
your best set, and maybe you'd get a development deal.
And if you got a development deal, maybe you'd get a sitcom.
That was a whole – that was the carrot that they dangled the end of the stick.
Career-changing.
Yeah.
Like, for some people, it was career-changing.
It really was.
But that stopped.
And then so it was like, why are we going to these festivals?
Because I'm not getting anything out of this other than you selling tickets.
Well, I think that that's happened – what happened to most of the
institutions in comedy or just show business, period, is the people that used
to be the tastemakers, the people that used to tell the business who was next.
Yeah.
I think people – because this happens all the time.
There'll be some good – there'll be somebody that'll start a comedy show.
Then all of a sudden, somebody will make it from that show.
And then it becomes the show in the scene or in the city.
And then they start wanting to maintain that reputation.
So instead of them just fucking with who they believe in, they'll wait to see
who has a little momentum.
Yeah.
So they kind of give it up.
They wait for the industry to tell them who's popping.
Right.
And, yeah, it happened to the store.
It happened to JFL.
It happened to all these places.
And maybe people – maybe it's coming back now.
But you also have to realize who are these people.
They're just people that got jobs working for whatever media company that is,
whether it's NBC or Netflix or whatever.
They're just people that got jobs.
They might not have any idea, like, how a joke is made, what the process is of
developing material, who's got talent, who's derivative.
They might not have any idea.
But what they do is they lick their fucking finger and they hold it up.
And whichever way the wind's blowing, they pretend they're a genius.
And that's what they do.
And oftentimes they'll dismiss someone who turns out to be the best one of the
lot.
It's real common, man.
And then they always want to stand by those ideas, like, ah, I don't see it.
And they're like, okay, the guy's fucking selling out arenas.
I think you missed it.
But it happens a lot.
Yeah.
It happens a lot with these folks because they're not artists.
They're just business people.
And they're pretending to be artists.
It's weird.
Like, some of them give you advice.
But some people do have, like, there's a talent for dealing with talent that
some people do have.
Adam Eagat.
Right.
Adam Eagat's a perfect example.
Because Adam is an artist whose, like, job is to be a talent coordinator.
But he's genuinely an artist.
Like, he gets it.
He thinks like a comic.
He behaves like a comic.
He was a funny co-host of Norm MacDonald's show.
You know, when Norm had that show, Adam was on that show with him.
Like, he gets it.
He understands the business.
He'll hit you with a zinger from time to time.
He's a funny dude.
Yeah, he got a couple in the chamber.
He's a funny dude.
But he's also a smart dude.
Like, and he knows potential.
He sees someone and he can give them genuinely good advice.
Like, genuinely, like, you could take this and develop it this way.
Maybe you need to work on this.
Maybe you need to, you know.
But, you know, more importantly, I think he has the courage of his convictions.
Where it's like, like, when I first got to Hollywood, you know, I went
everywhere at least once or twice.
And, you know, some people, you know, people are like, hey, come back next week.
Or, you know, you got to wait till this time.
Or whatever.
Everyone saw me at least once.
Adam saw me.
He was the only person that was like, come back next week.
Like, you get a spot next week.
Right.
Because he gets it.
Yeah.
And, like, he started fucking with me immediately.
And it wasn't any hesitation at all.
It was like, from the time I met him, I was just getting spots at the store.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so to do that, to have that belief in your eye, you know, instead of
needing other people's.
Because of how most of show business works is everybody is just, no one wants
to be the first one on your dick, but no one wants to be the last one.
So even if they see something they think is dope, they'll be like, does anybody
else think it's dope?
Right.
No?
Okay, me neither.
Right.
You know?
But then as soon as a couple of people think it's dope, then it was like, I saw
it six months ago.
It's like, you know, it's that kind of shit.
Yeah, that's where they're pretending they have talent.
That's their talent.
But the problem is, you don't have to have the talent talent to be in a
position of that, to be in that position.
No, you don't.
You can just get a job, and they need someone to do it.
And if you sell yourself, and if you worked, you know, in production before, or
you did something as an agent, or whatever the fuck it is, you're in the
business.
Or you just suffer under some tyrant.
There's a lot of that.
Yeah.
There's a lot of that.
A lot of suffering under tyrants.
And then these guys, they wind up, you know, fucking ruining companies, because
they don't know what, like, how many terrible specials have you seen that just
fit the right demographic, fit this, like, silly thing?
Like, that was another problem that Adam was having at the store, is that, like,
he couldn't just give spots to the people that he thought was funny.
It's, there was pressure to make a certain amount of gay people on the set, a
certain amount of women, a certain amount of, they had, like, people telling
him he didn't have enough of certain demographics.
But where's the pressure coming from?
Oh, I don't know.
It was coming from, you know, I don't want to talk out of school.
Okay.
But it wasn't just comics.
There was, you know, people that were buying into it.
And that's nonsense.
My mind immediately went to something silly.
Like, he just wakes up, there's a dildo on his pillow with a note.
It's like, you've been warned.
He was being told.
He was being told.
And it's just like, you know, there's a lot of, like, vicious people in this
fucking business.
And if you're a guy and your job is working at a club and that's all you got,
and, you know, all of a sudden that job is threatened because people are
complaining about you and they think that you're not doing.
You're best to make the lineup more diverse, which is, like, it's so silly
because this is the thing that we always talk about in the green room.
Like, look how diverse that club is.
There's everybody there.
Like, all kinds of different kinds of people.
And the idea that, like, it's one thing.
This is the most dumb straw man that gets tossed around.
Like, it's all right-wing comedy club.
The vast majority of the people that work there are left-wing people.
Vast majority.
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
Yeah.
And you can't, like, you can't tie it down.
You know, it's all white males.
That's bullshit.
There's all kinds of people there.
There's Arabs and Muslim people.
There's people from India.
There's people from Asia.
There's black people, white people, Australians.
There's people from fucking everywhere at that club.
And just there's one thing in common only.
Do you love comedy?
Are you trying to get better?
Are you funny?
There is something to be said about being aware of your blind spots.
But I don't think that the way Hollywood always does diversity is wrong.
Because they'll go, instead of going and find, they'll go, we're missing this
slice of the pie.
And instead of going and finding the funniest people, they'll just pick anyone,
you know?
Mm-hmm.
And I don't know if that always, this is almost never the best way to do this.
It's never the best way.
No.
It's like the same thing for neurosurgeons.
If you're like, you know, I'm really looking for a Danish woman neurosurgeon.
Like, no, no, no.
You have a brain tumor.
Like, no, no, no.
I really want a Danish woman.
Like, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
You got to get the best guy.
The best guy's a Chinese guy.
We found him.
He was out of Harvard.
This guy.
No, no, no.
Like, that's crazy.
And that's the same thing with everything.
It's like, it should be a meritocracy.
And I think, ultimately, you're going to have examples of all sorts of
different kinds of people that rise to the top in a true meritocracy.
I mean, but the, well, the pendulum always swings both back and forth, but it's
almost never a meritocracy, you know?
In comedy?
Or just, I'm just talking about America.
I think comedy is one of the only things where it's a genuine meritocracy.
Oh, yeah, well, when it comes to the crowd, you can't cheat.
You can't cheat.
You can't cheat.
No.
It is what it is, unless you're stealing.
That's the only thing.
If someone's a joke thief.
Or unless you're a fucking hack, you know?
Yeah.
You can get away with a lot.
But you can't get away with a lot with your peers, right?
You can't, like, your peers won't like you.
They won't want to be around.
They won't want to go on the road with you with your whack-ass jokes.
No?
Nah.
Unless you're super famous.
People are just, people are just holding their nose and going on the road with
you.
There's a few.
That's true.
There's a few that will do that.
But ultimately, though, when it comes to, like, sustaining a career and having,
you know,
years and years of people coming out to see you and multiple specials and stuff
like that,
it either works or it doesn't work.
That's it.
It's real simple.
Like, once people find out about you, now you've got your foot in the door and
it's
all just about keeping it on the gas.
Keep your foot on the gas and keep producing.
Keep making stuff.
Keep writing.
Keep working on sets.
And you'll, you know, if you're working for those people, they'll keep showing
up for you
because you made them laugh.
I hope that stays true because that's, it's the only thing I'm good at.
You know, I'm bad at everything except writing, except my, my comedy.
You know?
Well, you're really good at your comedy, though.
Yeah.
Like, some people never get really good at anything.
But they, but I feel like every year you have to be good at something else.
No.
Editing, sketches, scripts.
They want you to act.
They want you to.
No.
You don't.
You don't.
You don't.
Look at David Tell.
Does one thing.
Does one thing.
Stand-up comedy.
Everybody loves him.
He's amazing.
Yeah.
Facts.
Does one thing.
That's it.
I mean, that dude, it doesn't even go on social media at all, which is the only
reason
why he's not selling out enormous arenas.
When we had him at the club last weekend, everybody was like, dude, he's the
best.
He might be, he's one of the best of all time.
And he's working clubs.
I mean, a lot of people, a lot of people put him at the very top.
He's up there, dude.
It's like, it's kind of silly to rank comedians.
Yeah.
Right?
And every comic that's alive today owes a debt of gratitude to the people that
came before
us.
We all do.
Because it's a relatively new art form.
Yeah.
I mean, I go, I go by joke, by joke, by joke.
I don't really have a favorite comedian, but there's some bits out there where
I'm like,
that's fucking.
And some of those come from, you know, a few of them come from the same people.
But, but it tells one of the people where you just, sometimes you just watch,
you're
just in awe.
Yeah.
You know, but I love that.
I love what, like getting to watch a comic and make you go, God damn, I need to
just
ball my shit up and fucking throw it away.
Yeah.
That's the best feeling.
That's, that's where the fire starts burning and gets you going.
You need to feel that.
That's why comics don't exist in a vacuum.
You know, we were talking about this the other day that, uh, we're all, we're
talking
about like McCann.
So McCann is in this thing where he might have to move and we're like, bro, you
got to stay
like you're, you're killing it.
And what you're getting funnier.
You're like funnier all the time.
And I think one of the reasons why is what you're around.
Comics don't exist in a vacuum.
You're not going to go to like South Dakota and find the best comic that no one's
ever
seen.
The best comic in the world lives in South Dakota by himself.
And he's, you know, he works at this little local comedy club and everybody
comes to see
him from miles around.
No, the best comics are around other killers.
You get to see a guy like David Tell go up and you're like, God damn.
You get to see Shane Gillis go up.
You go, God damn.
You get to see Joey Diaz.
You get to see all these fucking killers over and over and over again.
And when, when you're around that and you see Ron White every week, they're
like, that's
how you get better.
Like that's where it's all.
McCann brings the heat.
He's brings the heat, dude.
He's fucking talented and he's smart and he's a great guy.
And he's fucking just a curious, interesting thinker.
And he's got, he's got a, he's got a, he's got a zany.
Yeah.
Delivery.
Yeah.
Like whenever I follow him, he always brings me up like he auctioned in slaves.
He'll be like, you know, he says my name, like, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Django.
Brian.
Watch.
We're going to get it.
We're going to get, we're going to get that on tape somewhere.
Yeah, we'll get that tonight.
Well, I'll bring him in tonight.
Oh yeah.
Is he coming?
Is he coming in there?
I think so.
I think so.
I got to text him as soon as we get out of here.
Oh, speaking of the comedy, my, my don't tell shit came out this week.
Go check it out.
It's already out.
Oh, it was out this week?
It was out last week, but it's, it's, it's going, it's taking off.
Nice.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
It's like a, a couple of the clips, a couple million.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Go check it out.
It's on YouTube.
Don't tell comedy.
That WAP joke is one of my all time favorite jokes.
Oh yeah.
That's on my, that's on my YouTube channel.
Yeah.
So yeah, it's a, yeah, we got a lot of stuff online, man.
It's like, some people are like, I've just now discovered you.
And I'm like, really?
That's how it works, man.
Yeah.
There's so much shit out there.
That's the thing, man.
A million, a million people can watch your shit and nobody saw it.
Isn't that nuts?
Yeah.
That's how many people there are that are online.
There's people that are huge fans of yours that don't even know you do stand up.
It's crazy.
You know what I mean?
How's that possible?
Well, there's just too many things to pay attention to.
Like how many times have you heard about an actor?
Like my, my kids will tell me about someone and I'm like, who is that?
And they're like, oh my God, that person's huge.
I'm like, shut up.
Really?
And then I go to their Instagram page.
They have 30 million Instagram followers.
I'm like, how am I that old?
It happens to me all the time.
I've officially reached unk status.
Yeah.
I'm unk status for sure.
I'm like grandpa status.
Grandpa Joe.
Grandpa Joe doesn't know anything.
Cause I'm not looking.
Cause the thing is, I'm not at the point, like I'm not looking for new stuff.
So if the kids don't tell me.
Yeah.
I'm not looking either.
But then that makes me feel old.
You know, there'll be, it'll be somebody that's like world famous.
And I'm like, who the fuck is that?
I know.
Yeah.
I completely missed the, um, the baby shark thing.
I just started hearing people talk about it in jokes.
Baby shark.
Yeah.
Apparently it's like the number one YouTube.
It's the most streamed YouTube video.
Right.
Jeremy.
A couple of years ago, guys, but it's, it's still number one.
All right.
That's what I'm saying.
I completely missed it.
Baby shark.
Do, do, do, do, do.
Oh, baby shark.
Do, do, do, do.
Yeah.
I had literally hadn't heard that song.
It had been out for maybe a year and a half and I hadn't heard anything about
it.
I just heard a comic making jokes about it.
And then, you know, when something's in the pop culture, everyone will be
trying to have
their own thing on it.
So then I heard another comic say a joke about it.
I'm like, what the fuck is that?
And sure enough, it's like, I completely missed it.
How could I, I mean, I don't have kids.
That makes sense.
That's what it is.
Okay.
This is it.
That video.
That's a big video.
I've never seen that video.
The world's most watched YouTube video hasn't made its creator rich.
What?
Huh?
How come?
Hold on.
A company behind Ubiquitous Song is hampered by ad restrictions on children's
content.
Wants to raise funds for expansion.
What does that mean?
Raise funds.
You had one viral video.
You ain't a company.
16.4 billion views.
Oh.
That's insane.
And they can't make money?
It says roughly equivalent to Taylor Swift's 10 most popular YouTube videos
combined.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Last year, the company generated equivalent of about $67 million in revenue,
including earnings
from YouTube.
But wait a minute.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
So it seems like they are making money.
I don't understand.
Is it saying the quandary underscores how certain restrictions, scroll up a
little.
I think we must have missed something.
No, we haven't missed anything yet.
But why is it, it doesn't make any sense that the company hasn't made any money.
It's saying they made money.
Am I reading that wrong?
Revenue isn't the same as making money, though.
What?
Revenue is just money coming in.
They could have.
Their expenses are so high that.
They could have spent a lot on ads to get it out there.
That's what it could be going into saying.
I don't know.
No, but I'm guessing 16 billion views probably should make you more than that.
Is that what they're trying to say?
So revenue is your gross?
No, that's how much money they made total, including what they got from YouTube.
That's not just from YouTube.
Oh, so they make money from other stuff.
Yeah, they probably licensed it out and stuff like that.
So scroll up.
So you see the little graph there?
It says life.
I mean, scroll down.
I'm sorry.
So operating profit, revenue.
So they're making a lot more money.
Oh.
Yeah, but that's South Korean one.
I don't know.
Yeah, I just.
That was a mean.
Yeah.
Falling down the wrong hole.
Big out.
No, Joe's like, bring back the AI.
Yeah.
I don't know what that is.
Like, that baby shark thing.
Like, why would one thing catch like that?
Because it's something for kids.
And people love ignoring their kids.
You just put that shit on and kids are obsessed.
It can't just be that because there's so many things that kids can watch.
It can't be just that.
It's got to be.
There's some.
Remember that banana song?
Banana phone?
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.
Banana phone.
No.
I never heard that before.
It's like in the 2000s.
It became like really popular.
I think it was popular on Opie and Anthony.
They kept playing it.
It was like really catchy.
Totally innocent.
And then it was like everywhere for like three or four weeks.
And then it went away.
And I always wonder, like, what the fuck is it where something just catches
fire?
I don't know.
Remember when Tickle Me Elmo?
Because what was the last time we had a viral holiday toy?
Like, where was the toy everyone had to have?
It's not holidays, but those LaBuboos were pretty viral recently.
LaBuboos are pretty viral.
Oh, yeah.
People love the LaBuboos.
And I don't get it.
Why, though?
Are they collectors?
Is this like what?
Because they know AI is about to take over the world.
And they know the aliens are landing.
And Jesus Christ is coming back.
And they just, they're freaking out.
They're just buying stuffed animals.
They don't know what the fuck they're doing.
They're just following the lead.
So a LaBubo is just a stuffed animal?
I don't know.
I hear about them.
My brain shuts off.
There's a little bit of gambling involved.
What?
It's a mystery.
You don't know what's inside the box that you bought.
Wait a minute.
And then people can sell those boxes based off of what could be inside.
Is it a stuffed animal?
Yeah.
A stuffed animal?
And you've got to gut your stuffed animal to find out what's inside of it?
No, no, no.
The box, like, it's in a box.
It's in a package.
And then you don't know what's inside that package.
Oh, so you just buy a LaBuboos without knowing which one you're going to get.
Right, right, right, right.
And you might get a limited edition one inside.
It's like a real-life loot box.
A limited edition LaBuboos.
Yeah, it's like Beanie Babies without knowing what you got before.
And you might get the Princess Di one.
That's brilliant.
You could get a limited edition LaBuboos.
That's brilliant.
And other than that?
How much is it to buy a mystery LaBuboos box?
I couldn't tell you.
It could be $20.
It could be $50.
Let's take a guess.
Let's take a guess.
How much do you think it costs to get a LaBuboos?
Retail.
Retail.
I'm going to say $40.
$40.
Yeah, I think I'm with you.
I was going to say $36.
And after that, how much do you think it is at resale?
Oh, $150.
That's how much it costs to get them, yeah.
I bet it's like buying one of them, like a hot new car.
So retail is $28.
$27.99.
Okay.
Okay.
$30.
And then what does it cost online if you want to buy one right now?
I need a LaBuboos.
Like a mystery.
A mystery LaBuboos.
What do I get?
Are you Googling it?
Yeah, yeah.
It's going to.
Oh, no.
I'll turn off my ringer.
Up to $80 to $120.
It's not that bad.
Oh, well, a few human-sized auction pieces.
Oh, that's big.
What?
$100,000.
Wait a minute.
They have human-sized LaBuboos?
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Jesus Christ.
What?
That is so ridiculous.
I mean.
What is someone doing with a human-sized LaBuboos?
Who's fucking their LaBuboos?
Because you know someone is.
Let me see what their LaBuboos look like.
Is it something like a furry would fuck?
Let me try to Google a human-sized LaBuboos.
Oh, do you hear the latest that that dude who shot Trump might have been a
furry?
Yeah, I saw they found some more stuff.
What?
Yeah.
They think he was a furry.
That's like an art piece.
It's not really quite a LaBuboos, you know.
Well, that's not really human-sized either.
Human-sized LaBuboos doll sold for $150,000.
Let me see what it looks like.
Well, what they mean might have been a furry, I feel like you would know or not
know that.
They're finding stuff.
Like, let's find out.
I don't know what this is.
Yeah.
There it is.
There's the big LaBuboos.
Whatever.
This lady invented them?
She invented the LaBuboos?
Again, how?
How does that work?
How does that catch on?
How does that catch on?
Like, Build-A-Bear has been in the fucking mall forever.
I mean, I think I know what it is.
It's probably some fucking smoking hot K-pop star.
Probably they saw her with one on.
You know, there's certain women where they follow, and any time she does any
fashion thing, it just spreads like wildfire.
Yeah, there's a thing that does happen whenever a popular person starts, like,
wearing a thing.
Yeah.
They literally tricked all women into wanting a diamond from just looking at an
actress to do it.
Judas Priest had everybody dressing up like a gay motorcycle gang member.
What?
Yeah.
That started with Judas Priest?
Yeah.
Rob Halford from Judas Priest is gay, like, openly gay.
And now, at least, you know, I don't know if he was back then, but he dressed
like a gay biker, like, and that became, like, metal.
Oh, word.
Because Judas Priest was so good, they wanted to dress like this gay guy who
dressed like a gay guy who would go to, like, a gay biker club.
Yeah, it smells like hot women around the world, because dudes will do anything
that they think will get them laid.
And women will do anything that a pretty woman does.
That's true.
Anything to make yourself look prettier, too.
Yeah, and so it's like, because all of the dudes now talking all that gay shit,
they was dressing like that in the 70s and the 80s, like, earrings and makeup
and purses and all of that.
Bell bottoms, big collars.
Yeah, because they thought it was going to get them laid.
Flouncy shirts.
You could dress like Prince.
You could dress like Little Richard.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything that works.
Platform shoes.
Anything that works.
Anything.
Okay, Thomas Crooks used they, them pronouns, had obsession with political
violence and muscle mommies.
Uh-oh, that's what I like.
Yeah, what's wrong?
I like a woman that can move a cow.
I do.
The lone sniper who grazed Trump in the ear, killed a beloved firefighter,
critically wounded two other Trump supporters, apparently had a muscle mommy
fetish and repeatedly searched for videos about female bodybuilders and
muscular women.
But what was the furry stuff, though?
I was reading some furry stuff.
Crooks had two accounts on, two possible accounts on DeviantArt, a site that
hosts fan art, has become notorious for its community of furries.
People have identified as anthropomorphized animal characters and or are
sexually attracted to them.
Did they ever tell you about the time that I accidentally stumbled on a furry
convention?
No.
We were flying into Pittsburgh for a UFC.
One of DeviantArt accounts linked to Crooks shared just one post reposting of a
towering, muscular female bodybuilder and a slight man in his underwear.
Yeah, I'm all over.
Yeah.
That's like R. Crumb type stuff.
Hilarious.
Yeah, I don't kink shame.
I don't kink shame either.
No.
Have fun.
Me and Duncan wore furry outfits once.
For the pod?
Yeah, and we had to take the hats off after like five minutes.
Like, respect to furries.
He could walk around all day with this fucking thing on.
It was heavy.
It was hard to breathe.
It was hot.
We took it off.
Oh, yeah, that's what he likes.
Yeah, baby.
But who doesn't like that?
I don't know.
Some little dudes.
Some little dudes don't want to be dominated.
Don't want some man, some woman to use them like a dildo.
When I was, so I was flying into Pittsburgh.
We were flying in for a UFC.
And we got a rental.
And we're driving to the hotel.
And as we're driving to the hotel, I'm like, why are all these mascots on the
street?
The fuck's going on?
It was real weird.
Like, we didn't understand what was going on.
This is a while ago.
Like, at least 10 years ago.
And we're driving.
And I'm like, what the fuck is this?
Like, what's going on?
We get to the hotel.
And I'm like, and I go to the guy behind the counter.
I go, man, what the fuck is going on?
He goes, it's a furry convention.
Like, I didn't even, I kind of vaguely knew what a furry was.
But I never really dove into it, you know?
So I go, what are you talking about?
He goes, it's a convention of all these people that get off on dressing like
animals.
I go get off.
He goes, dude, they're asking us to serve them food in bowls on the ground,
okay?
When they get room service, they want their room service in a bowl.
They want it put on the ground so they can get on their knees and eat it out of
a bowl.
And they were asking for a litter box.
I know a lot of people don't believe this.
Like, because I told this story about a friend of mine who lives in Utah.
His wife was a school teacher there.
And one of the parents had a child that was a furry and they wanted to put a
litter box in the bathroom.
Now, this was entirely relayed to me by my friend who, it was relayed to him by
his wife who worked in the school.
I don't know if it's true, but everybody got so angry.
And they started saying what I was saying was transphobic.
And I got so confused because I was like, this was a couple of years ago.
I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
What does this have to do with trans people?
We're talking about someone who wants to shit in a box.
Like, where's the trans part of this?
So, somehow or another, furries and that kink are getting, like, lumped into
this LGBTQTAI plus whatever.
And they're trying to, like, lump furries in there in this debunking of my
conspiracy theory.
Well, furries are their own.
They're their own.
That's what I didn't understand.
For some of them, it's not sexual.
But these guys, it was.
When I was talking to the guy that worked behind the counter, I was like, what
is going on?
He goes, dude.
He goes, apparently what these guys like to do is they have, like, a hatch on
the back of their furry outfit.
And they like to bang each other without even knowing who they're banging.
All they do, they pretend they're banging a giant squirrel.
And they're into it.
And it's apparently, like, part of the fun is that you don't have to think
about your body.
Maybe you're ashamed of your body.
Maybe you don't like your body.
Maybe you're just like, I'd rather someone just fuck me and think I'm a raccoon.
And so that's what they do.
See, I pray to God I don't find out that that's my kink because it's just too
much work.
It's a lot of work.
The head is heavy, you know?
Heavy is the head that carries the throat.
Yeah, that's it.
Any kink that requires maintenance.
It's a lot of washing.
You've got to wash that furry outfit.
And if someone jizzes on it and doesn't tell you, then you've got a problem.
It might be a subsection of the community where they like it not washed.
They want the dirty furries.
They're over there.
Like an animal.
Like in the woods.
They don't wash themselves.
Yeah.
Come on.
Let's go.
We're furries.
Are we furries or are we men?
I once had a...
I used to work at this pub in San Diego.
And one time we had...
It was like a...
It was like...
I don't know if they're a subsect of the furry world, but it's like...
They're like My Little Pony people.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What do they call them?
There's a name for that.
Bronies.
Bronies.
Yeah, it was like a whole documentary or something.
And they were all very nice and respectful and you could see, you know, there
were a handful
of women involved and you could see everybody trying to angle for the...
But they took...
They just...
They filled up our pub.
And these are all the My Little Pony people.
Yeah.
It was a documentary that was like 10 years, 12 years.
See, bro.
And they hardcore.
Like they don't tolerate any teasing whatsoever.
Like if you try to come at them about it, it's going to be a problem.
You know, like...
You've got to be able to take some teasing.
Yes.
If you want me to take you seriously...
I'm telling you, bro.
Come on.
They're going to throw hoofs immediately.
They're throwing hoofs.
People will find a thing that they're really into.
No matter what it is.
They will find a fucking thing that they're really into.
But that's the reason...
That's why I don't kink shame because I'm like, hey, man, if you...
Just be lucky that all the things that make you come are things you consider
normal.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Because I feel bad.
Like imagine if you found out...
Right.
That that was your thing?
Yeah.
You could only...
You could only get off if you was dressed as a wolf.
You know?
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I think it's a psychological thing where they don't like who they really are.
I mean, if I had to guess what the furry thing is, I don't think there's any
well, I mean,
I don't know.
Maybe there's some well-balanced furries out there that just have a weird thing.
But I think most of them just don't like who they are.
And so they just want to hide in this thing that's all smiley and, hi, kids.
You know, you look like a fucking, some sort of a giant animal.
See, I have a theory.
I think whatever, I think the first time you encounter something sexual,
whatever's happening
gets, like, burned into your shit.
That's called imprinting.
Yeah, like, I got a homie that's, like, into, like, you know, the BDSM world
and stuff like
that.
And he has no idea.
And I was like, well, how did you know that?
He was like, oh, I have no idea.
And then, you know, years later, without completely unrelated, he's telling me
one time about him
looking for Christmas presents and going in the back of his parents' closet and
finding
a whole chest of, you know, whips and chains and shit like that when he was,
like, six
or seven years old.
Whoa.
He didn't make the connection.
He was like, oh, yeah, well, that's why you're, yeah, duh.
Parents are into whips and chains and shit.
And I don't know if that had to happen, because I think your kinks are genetic.
Really?
Yeah.
Why do you think that?
I think I've read that, right?
Well, I think some information is probably passed down from parents to kids.
And I would imagine kinks could be in there, because, like, artistic talent is
passed down.
Obviously, athletic talent is often passed down.
It would make sense.
I bet a lot of things.
I bet they don't know exactly what you're giving to your kids.
Well, let's find out, because if it's true, I mean, that's going to make you
look at your
mama real different.
Right.
You don't want to know that.
That's horrible.
Yeah, but I...
Like, I pity the poor people that have accidentally walked in on their parents
fucking.
What?
You never did that?
No.
No.
Me neither.
The horror.
No, actually, that's not true.
I never walked in, but I definitely knew that that's what was happening.
I can block that out.
Right.
You can't block out the visual.
Because you've definitely touched the doorknob and been like, you and your
mother...
Your dad with his feet up in your hair, your mom eating his ass.
No, no, I don't have no visuals.
Your dad stroking it while your mom's eating his ass.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, God, watch him.
Yeah, see?
There you go.
I can't live anymore like that.
I can't go through this.
I'm going to have to get electroshock therapy.
Yeah.
But imagine if you walk in and...
I mean, what would have to happen for you to be a furry?
What would you have to see?
I don't think it's that.
No?
I think it's...
I think there's probably some social disorder involved in some of those folks,
too.
There's, like, furry lights, which my kids go to school with.
There's some kids that wear, like, ears and, like, maybe a tail.
And every now and then you see one of those.
Yeah, yeah.
This brownie thing might have started as a 4chan troll that spread too far.
Probably was.
4chan rules.
Out of control.
Like a few other things I've done.
They're the best.
I can't tell.
Do you see what they did with the free flow, a free bleeding project?
What is that?
Hold on, wait a minute.
They tricked women into thinking that it's, like, a sign of feminism to just
bleed and
not have a tampon or a maxi pad.
Oh, like old school.
You just let it go.
Free bleeding.
And so they did it as a joke.
And then some women adopted it.
Who did it?
Because they thought it was, like, you know, radical feminist cuckoos.
Crazy ladies.
So now free bleeding is, like, a trend?
No, it didn't last.
It's disgusting.
Okay.
It's probably totally unsanitary.
You smell like fish.
It's hell.
It's hell.
You have a pussy blood running down your fucking pants, and you're showing up
at the office?
You expect to keep your job here at United Health?
Get out of here.
I mean, I don't think anybody was showing up at no offices.
Those are definitely chicks with no jobs.
At Starbucks?
You showing up at Starbucks?
Oh, that's not real.
No way.
That lady would die.
She would literally be dead.
That's like if you shot her with a fucking arrow.
The thing is, there's no, um...
Is this lady free bleeding?
These were the 4chan posts of people trying to, like, share it.
That kid was real.
I'm not putting us on this.
But that could be a lady that's just doing a marathon and forgot a tampon.
It's like, fuck it.
I'm going to push through it.
Because I saw one lady who diarrheaed herself.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It went all down her leg and everything, and she completed that fucking race.
Well, the thing is, it's hard to tell what's real and what's AI.
That's real.
That's real.
That's a little pussy blood right there.
I can tell.
I'm an expert.
But the thing is, look, but free bleeding is one thing, but it's like, but just
getting
your pussy blood on other people's stuff?
They don't care.
Like, if you're doing that shit at home or in the grass?
They're marking their territory.
Well, what did people do before they invented tampons?
Like, I mean, are you supposed to just wash it out?
Like, what are you supposed to do?
What does nature want you to do?
Like, nature doesn't want you.
That's why toxic shock syndrome is a thing.
When women have tampons and they leave them up there, and then they can get
really sick,
and women have died from toxic shock syndrome from tampons.
I don't think people even cared about...
This is someone...
I don't know if this...
This might be full satire, but this is someone talking about how it's not made
up and it's
a real thing.
Like, 4chan people tried to claim they started this.
Misogynic users of the online forum 4chan would claim that they jokingly
started the movement
in 2014 and see how far they could make angry feminists go.
Fake memes and Twitter accounts apparently belonged to feminist activists began
posting content
about free bleeding.
This backfired spectacularly for the 4chan trolls when they unwittingly created
a discourse
around the normalization of periods.
What?
The free bleeding movement, whether fake or not, quickly became very real and
got women
talking about their monthly cycle.
Since then, notable moments in the free bleeding movement have included Karan
Gandhi running the
Boston Marathon without...
Without something?
While...
They missed something there.
It says without while bleeding through her sports shorts.
Poet Rupi Kaur also became notable in the movement when an image of her menstrual
blood on
her pants and bedsheets was repeatedly removed from Instagram that same year.
Imagine, like, you're a hero because your pussy blood is on the internet.
This is so kooky.
This sounds like this is satire.
That's what I thought it could be.
Who wrote it?
What's it in?
It's a blog of...
I think you have a hard time convincing most women.
Yeah, most, but these are crazy people.
Like, most people don't want to fuck wearing a squirrel outfit.
But crazy people do.
Some people do.
I'm not saying furries are crazy.
What is the blog?
And do they have other things that seem like satire?
Because that seems like satire.
I'm checking real quick.
I'm trying to check.
It's hard to tell at the edges.
When you get to the edges of radical feminism and radical leftism and radical
right wing,
you know, patriot front type shit, it's hard to tell what's satire when you get
to the
edges.
When you get to the most extreme examples of any movement.
Well, also, everything's AI now.
And people just lie.
People just say bullshit.
Also, all those, whether it's the right wing movements like Proud Boys or
whether it's
Antifa, they get infiltrated.
Those guys get infiltrated by government officials.
One hundred fucking percent.
I guarantee you there's some FBI agents in Antifa and I guarantee you there's
some FBI
agents that are in the Proud Boys.
I think the head of the Proud Boys was already outed as an FBI informant.
Isn't that true?
I think that find that out.
Google that.
Really?
Yes.
That's not shocking at all.
I think every single movement.
I think he still went to jail, too.
I think he still went to jail for January 6th.
Yeah.
I mean, they still locked up.
Let's see.
Let's say.
What does it say?
The head of the Proud Boys was revealed to have been an FBI informant, Enrico
Tarrio.
Tarrio served as the national chairman of the Proud Boys from 2018 to 2021 and
was a central
figure in the group's activities, including its role in a January 6th, 2021
Capitol riot.
However, it was later disclosed that Tarrio worked as an informant for federal
and local
law enforcement agencies between 2012 and 2014 prior to his leadership in the
Proud Boys.
Oh, beforehand.
That's even crazier.
That's even crazier.
Like, were they telling us the truth?
Like, that he's not doing it anymore?
It's like, fucking, who knows, man?
It's layers upon layers.
It's those Russian nesting dolls.
And you open it, and there's another one in there.
And you open it, there's another one in there.
Corruptions at all the time.
Bro, the Epstein files.
I heard there's no files.
I heard it's a hoax.
And then all of a sudden, he's going to release the files.
Well, I thought there was no files.
Man.
He wants an investigation now.
Listen.
Like, what is going on?
They voted 427 to 1.
Who was the one?
Whoa, whoa.
Who's the one?
He re- I didn't see why he said, but he did say what.
National security.
No fucking way you will be the one.
National security.
If you found out, if you found out all of Congress voted for something, and you
the only one that didn't, can you change your vote?
You can't be the one, guy.
It should be.
It should be that it has to be, like, no one can know what the vote is before
you do it.
Bro, I would love to hear his reason.
How are you the one?
Well, you know, I was feeling like, let's move past it, and let's get on with
our business.
Bro, you can't move past it.
These billionaires are good people.
Okay?
You can't move past it.
They're good, solid people.
Clay Higgins was the one.
Who?
Clay Higgins.
Where's he out of?
Arkansas.
Oh, I knew it was one of them.
Yeah.
Somebody got to him.
One of the bottom ten in education or something like that.
Somebody got to him.
That's crazy, though.
Four and twenty to one.
I have been a principled note on this bill from the beginning.
What was wrong with the bill three months ago?
It abandons the 250 years of criminal justice procedure in America.
As written, this bill reveals and injures thousands of innocent people,
witnesses, people who provided alibis, family members, et cetera.
If enacted in its current form, this type of broad reveal of criminal
investigative files released to a rabid media will absolutely result in
innocent people being hurt, not by my vote.
The Oversight Committee is conducting a thorough investigation that has already
released well over 60,000 pages of documents from the Epstein case.
That effort will continue in a manner that provides all due protections for
innocent Americans.
If the Senate amends the bill to properly address privacy of victims and or
other Americans who are named but not criminally implicated, then I will vote
for that bill when it comes back to the House.
He's in that motherfucker.
Well, that's a point, though, right?
Like, there was people that had dinner over Epstein's house.
Like, Epstein had dinners and had celebrities go over his house.
Like, Chelsea Handler was one of the people that went over his house.
I don't think Chelsea Handler is out there molesting kids.
No, I get that, but I think we're past that.
We're beyond that point now.
Right, you just have to be able to say, hey, I went to his house for dinner.
Yeah, I'm not saying, because people try to do that to you with, like, pictures.
They're like, if you was in a picture with somebody, they think, you know, but
it's like, it's the difference between being in a picture with somebody and
being in 500 pictures with them.
Right, and flying to an island with them.
Yeah, I think the, because this is a big problem, I mean, related back to what
we were talking about earlier with Hollywood, too, is that I think a lot of,
I think a lot of these motherfuckers don't respect the public.
They don't respect our intelligence.
You know, I think the average American is smart enough to know the difference
between somebody that was just in there or somebody that testified than
somebody that was banging children.
See, the thing is, the average American probably can tell the difference, but
there are sub-average individuals that all they want to know is you're on the
list, and they hear you're on the list, and they might try to kill you.
And that is a fact.
But here's the thing.
The problem is.
And I'm not advocating for not releasing the files.
I'm just saying there's enough dumb, nutty people that will think that you're
guilty.
There's been so much obfuscation with this.
It would be different if there was no pushback.
But there's, I think, what's at stake is people's belief in the integrity of
the process.
That's already cooked.
Oh, well, yeah.
That's pretty good.
But whatever, the last little shreds of it that are left is like, no more you
getting to sift through and decide.
Because he's, you know, it's easy to say that.
But the truth is, they want to be able to decide whose names get seen and whose
names don't.
And people aren't with that.
Like, you know.
And they shouldn't be with that.
Or we agree with this guy, and then we let them Kennedy joints out.
We've been waiting for them to think about it.
They said the same thing about the Kennedy shit.
Well, we don't want to hurt people.
And every time they're supposed to release it, they kick it down the road.
They released some new Kennedy documents, but I never heard anything come out
of it.
Yeah, it was supposed to be, it's supposed to have been released two or three
presidents.
There's no way those people are alive.
Right.
The long, what we know is this.
We know that, I forget who said it, but justice delayed is justice denied.
The longer we wait, the more we let these fucking snakes kick the can down the
road, the more they get to obfuscate and muddy the waters.
You know what Trump said about the JFK files?
What?
He said, I saw them, and if you saw what I saw, you wouldn't release them
either.
That's what I'm screaming.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
I don't even, I can't even imagine what that means.
What does that mean?
What could that mean?
What does that mean?
I don't know.
Does that mean a foreign government?
Does that mean our government?
Does that mean the mafia?
Does that mean a coordinated effort with all the above?
What does that mean?
I have no idea what it could possibly mean.
I mean-
That's crazy for something that happened in 1963.
Yeah.
And almost everyone involved, almost everyone that could be embarrassed somehow
is dead.
62 years ago, man.
So, it would have to be something that, like, destroys an institution or
something.
Something.
Like this Epstein shit.
Right.
Like-
But just the amount, the sheer amount of people with insane amounts of money
that are attached
to this.
Because my conservative friends be like, they think I give a fuck about a
Democrat.
They'd be like, are you?
With a Bill Clinton's in there.
Like, I don't give a fuck who in there.
I don't care who in there.
You don't care.
Put that shit in the street.
Yeah.
They think you do.
That's so silly.
I don't have a-
Party identity.
I don't have a favorite politician.
I don't have-
There's nobody-
I don't give these motherfuckers money.
No, that's-
No, there's no politician that I love enough to do it.
Because this is what's killing me.
There's people out there that are literally like, well, how old is 16, really?
You know, like, they're trying to justify, like, because they want to come out
of this by still
showing support, but they don't want to be connected to the crime.
So they're still trying to justify their support of all of this.
That's crazy.
It's like, there's no politician I love more than I love my country, or more
than I have
my principles of like, yeah, I think if you can't draw the line at kid fucking,
then
you probably should stop talking in public.
Like, you shouldn't have public discourse, you know?
Yeah, I mean, I think this is a pattern that exists, has existed forever in
politics.
They want you to be compromised when you get into any sort of a position so
they can control
you.
And I think these things like Epstein, and there's probably a bunch of other
similar operations
that are being run, they provide you with like a really good time, or maybe you're
a
high profile, extremely wealthy individual, and it's hard for you to get hosed.
And some guy tells you, hey, we've got everything covered, you know, you come
to my island, nothing,
you know, what happens on the island stays on the island.
Bro, they just kicked, didn't they kick somebody out of the royal family?
Oh, yeah.
Who?
Prince Andrew.
Yeah.
Yeah, they kicked him out of the family, and there hasn't even been like a
former trial
yet.
It's not like he's been convicted.
But what does that, what happens when you're not, they just walk you out the
castle and
you just, you're just on the street?
I think he's out in a house, like way out in the country.
Like, you stay here.
I just, in my head, I just picture him like crying over some KFC because he's
never eaten
peasant food.
I don't think he's eating peasant food.
So he's not a regular person.
I think he's in a manor, like a beautiful home in the country.
Okay, so being kicked out of the royal family doesn't mean that you just, that
you lose everything.
Who knows?
I mean, what does he have, and where did he get it?
Is it just money from the government?
Because they do get paid by the government, right?
They do, but I also think they're all, they're still dukes of something and lords
of something.
Here it says what he lost.
So after being stripped of his royal titles and forced to leave his longtime
residence at
Royal Lodge, Royal Lodge, Prince Andrew, now formerly known as Andrew Montbatten-Windsor,
will relocate to accommodation in the Sandringum, Sandringum?
How do you say that?
Yeah, I think that.
Sandringum Estate in Norfolk.
He is now excluded from royal duties and public life, and his status has been
dramatically reduced.
His status has been reduced.
Loss of titles and status.
Eviction from Royal Lodge.
Relocation to Sandringum Estate.
So he's relocated to an estate in the countryside.
Public exclusion.
He remains excluded from all royal engagements and official events.
Except for private family gatherings.
But that sounds sweet.
I feel like...
Yeah, I mean, he's getting away with not having to be, you know, like not being
in the public
eye.
That's it.
Well, they were basically like, you know, all the parts about being a royal
that suck?
Yeah, you don't have to do those anymore.
Look at this.
Financial support.
The king will provide for Andrew's basic needs, but his former royal funding
and security benefits
have been ended.
Andrew has sought private business opportunities to support himself, but no
public roles are
expected.
Wow.
Who's going to go into business with you, my guy?
He's going to go...
He wants to go into business.
He's going to open up a Starbucks?
Getting money from the king all this time.
This whole thing is nuts because they get money and I don't think they have to
do anything.
Like, I don't think they have like real function in government, do they?
Bruh.
Where's the Sandringham Estates?
Oh, that's where you got...
Poor guy.
Holy shit.
That's so sad.
That's so sad.
They made him stay in that castle.
Look how beautiful that place is.
That is so nuts that this guy got kicked out of there.
Bro.
He got kicked out of wherever the fuck he was, the royal lull.
Unless they tell me his punishment is like, they give you that estate, but they
take all
the servants.
Bro, look at the gardener's house.
That's the gardener's house.
That's where the gardener lives.
That fucking place is beautiful.
That is hilarious, dude.
Like, if they give him that place, but they don't give him no servants, and he
just got
to clean everything, he got to walk a mile to the kitchen.
Yeah, he's got to do his own dishes.
No, but this guy's living the life.
So he just gets banished to a mansion.
He don't got to do no public duties.
And they probably just bring hoes out to the mansion.
Do you think he gets a puppy?
It's not like stop banging hoes.
No.
Right?
I mean, I don't know what he's in trouble for.
Right.
That's the thing.
They haven't told us.
But to get kicked out of the royal family is...
It must be.
They didn't even kick Meghan Markle out of the family, and they racist.
Legal and public impact.
What is this?
These changes result from longstanding controversies over Andrew's association
with Jeffrey Epstein
and subsequent legal settlements.
Oh, he's got settlements.
Particularly the civil case bought by Virginia Guffrey, which concluded without
any admission
of liability by Andrew, but resulted in a multi-million pound settlement.
Do you know that there's the amount of money that's been paid out to victims of
Jeffrey Epstein?
It's like $300 million so far?
From where?
From where?
I don't know.
Is that true?
There's also a bunch of money that just moved after he died that no one really
understands either.
This is all so sketchy.
Bro, I'm telling you, a lot of people, if they really release this shit in
earnest, it's going to change everything.
I hope.
I hope it's that powerful.
Do you think it will be?
Well, all I know is the most powerful person on earth has been doing a lot to
keep that shit from coming out.
And I'm not like everybody else.
I don't think Trump is in there in a criminal way.
But I think he has a lot of powerful friends that have been putting pressure on
him to keep that shit under wraps.
I think that definitely has to be the case.
I think it's going to be royal people.
It's going to be prime ministers.
It's going to be Supreme Court justices.
It's going to be all type of-
Former presidents.
Yeah, some CEOs.
It's going to be all type of shit in there.
Scientists.
Get it out.
Yeah.
Get it out.
Yeah, yeah.
The world already-
There's nothing to lose for America as a whole.
What a crazy operation they were running.
What a crazy thing.
To have a bunch of people fly them out to an island that somehow or another you
own.
Like, where did you get the money to buy a fucking island, bro?
It's not as expensive as you think.
A whole island?
Yeah.
We looked at that island.
We were trying to buy it.
Actually, I shouldn't say we're trying to buy it.
We were thinking about it very briefly.
But it was too expensive.
It was like $55.
It's not discounted now?
That's a discount.
That's the discounted price?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I would imagine it's worth well more than that.
Yeah.
If you buy a beautiful house in, like, Miami, a beautiful house in Miami might
be $200 million
if it's on the ocean.
Those, like, crazy manors in, like, West Palm Beach.
Yeah, but it's like, but the island's basically haunted.
You gotta save the whole motherfucking thing.
It's too late.
You gotta level it.
You gotta remove the dirt and go get dirt from, like, some pristine island.
Yeah, you gotta remove everything.
It would be, that's the same reason why we never bought the One World Theater.
The same thing.
Oh, that weird cult?
Yeah, the cult thing.
I was like, oh, man.
There's not enough sage in the world.
Yeah.
You had to come by with some holy water, anointed oil.
It has a beautiful property, but I was like, what do they do to those poor
people there?
You know, and that island is like.
I wouldn't be shocked if that dude was on there.
What was the name?
The cult leader of that cult.
Well, he had different names.
His first, I forget what his real name was.
He had the same name as a boxer.
I forget his fucking name.
What is the cult leader's name in Holy Hell?
But he changed his name twice.
So he had a fake name when he was teaching yoga in West Hollywood when he
started the cult.
And then when the cult awareness network started going after him.
Because after Waco, they started going after all the cults.
They're like, these motherfuckers are arming up.
Like, this is dangerous.
Let's find out.
And also, it's like a lot of people lost their family members.
Jaime Gomez.
That's right.
So he was Michel, and then he became Andreas once he came to Texas.
So what happened was, they were after him.
And so this dude picks up shop and just moves to Austin.
And just to throw people off, has his followers build a theater so he could
dance in front of them.
They built that.
His followers built that theater.
Beautiful place.
For people to get sucked in and stuff like that.
But I feel like we know enough now where it's like, if you're unsure, if you're
in a cult, like, as soon as the guy wants to fuck your wife, you should be.
Or your dad.
Right.
Or just anyone.
This guy was fucking everybody.
As soon as the leader need to fuck your family.
Yeah, that's a problem.
That's the red flag right there.
If there was no alarm bells before that point.
Like, when they asked you to give up all your stuff.
Yeah.
Maybe you still had hope.
Mm-hmm.
You know, when they started giving you duties as a servant, maybe you still had
hope.
But when they need to fuck your family members.
I feel like that should set off all the alarms for me.
They wait until you're deep in the cult before they bust that one out.
Like, David Koresh, didn't he wait, like, a long time?
I think they were already on the compound.
He was like, God just told me I have to fuck your wife.
Like, for real, it was one of that, it was that dumb.
It was, like, that dumb.
Like, God spoke to him and told him that no one was allowed to have sex but him.
And he could have sex with everybody's wife.
Group pressure is very powerful.
I find out if that's true.
Like, none of us are really above it.
You know, you gotta be careful what groups you're around in.
Because that pressure to conform, you know, because I best, he's not just like,
I gotta fuck your wife.
But he's surrounded by people going, do it, do it.
They're all cheering on with towels and shit.
Or they have their little saying they say, you know.
Right.
That pressure to like.
Praise Jesus.
Yep.
That pressure to please everyone.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, because there's a certain type of person that gets sucked, roped into
those things.
Well, I always wonder about that.
Like, is there a grand pattern to the universe?
Is there a mathematical formulation that we exist in where you have to have a
certain amount of gullible people and then a certain amount of devious people
that try to trick people and con artists?
And then a certain amount of people like you that are like, what the fuck is
going on?
Like, that all of this sort of like dances together and balances itself out.
And just like nature has predators and it has wounded antelope that get too
close to the waterhole.
All these things like kind of have to exist at the same time in order for
progress to be made.
It seems like it's just a certain amount of people that are just born gullible.
And not just gullible, but kind of like wanting to be tricked.
He reportedly annulled marriages of couples who joined the sect and took
multiple women as his spiritual wives, some of whom were very young girls.
Former cult members have alleged that Koresh slept with wives of other members
and maintained a harem, sometimes with women who were already married and
fathered numerous children with various women.
Koresh also instructed male followers to practice celibacy and surrender their
wives to him.
This behavior was part of his doctrine and control over the group's women and
children, often accompanied by allegations of sexual abuse and manipulation.
Yeah.
See, the thing is, those guys, they're not influential guys.
Their superpower is their ability to know who.
Like, they can sense who's broken in just the right way and come in and be
daddy.
Yeah.
You know, because, yeah, because, can you imagine a motherfucker telling you to
be celibate while he's banging your wife?
Crazy.
Crazy.
And you're living in a compound with him and he's heavily armed.
And you gave him all your worldly possessions.
And he sings and he's terrible.
You have to listen to him sing.
You ever listen to him sing?
Or he dancing on a stage that you built?
Listen, play some David Koresh music.
He has, like, he would sing songs.
They were terrible.
He has music.
Yeah, he was terrible.
Yeah, he was a musician.
He was a frustrated musician who became an evangelical.
The, I don't know, give me one.
Any one.
They're all, I'm sure they all suck.
Let's listen to David Koresh.
Recorded in Waco, Texas, 1989.
If I was in that cult, I'd be like, there is no way.
I think I want to let him fuck my wife now.
But how about that name?
The name, is that, like, the name of a woman he was trying to fuck?
Shoshanim.
I mean, that's a weird name.
What does it say?
Very unusual name.
I've never heard that name in my whole life.
It probably was some girl he was trying to smash.
Probably has to be.
That's, uh, by Biblical.
Oh!
Psalms.
Hebrew lilies.
Hebrew lilies.
Mentioned in Psalms 45 and 49.
It is meaning, its meaning in these psalms is uncertain.
Some believe it's kind of lily.
Click on that, what it says.
A kind of lily.
What is that saying?
Lily-shaped straight trumpet.
What?
A six-string trumpet.
A word commencing a song or the melody of which these psalms were to be sung.
Like, they don't even know.
So, yeah, it was probably some girl's name.
Yeah, probably a chick.
Yeah.
I saw Lil, and I was like, is that Lilith?
Do you know who Lilith is?
You ever heard of Lilith?
You mean, like, the demon?
Well, Lilith was, like, apparently before Eve.
There's, like, this is, like, now, again, I don't know who to believe or who
not to believe
and what, I don't even know what scriptures show Lilith and what don't, but Lilith.
Everything I know about Lilith is from Diablo lore.
Oh, that's funny.
No, Lilith is, like, a character in ancient religious texts.
Right.
Like, she's a daughter of...
Who is...
Well, we're going to find out, because I'll butcher it.
I'm very hesitant to say what I think it is, because I don't really remember.
She's the daughter of Beelzebub, right?
This is...
Did Wes Huff tell us about this?
No.
You know who told us about this?
Kurt Metzger.
Kurt Metzger was ranting and raving about Lilith.
You don't know?
You don't know about Lilith?
There's a few different ones, but this is the one that he was talking about.
Lilith is not a character in the Bible.
Her name is only mentioned in one verse in the book of Isaiah.
This one here.
Okay.
Origin of the legend.
The story of Lilith as Adam's first wife comes from later Jewish folklore, such
as the
alphabet of Bensirah, which was not included in the canonical Bible.
The legend's core story is, according to its folklore, Lilith was created from
the earth
at the same time as Adam, making her his equal.
When she refused to be subservient to him, she left the Garden of Eden.
That sounds like a true story.
Some interpretations claim that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 describe two different
creation
stories and two different women.
This is considered incorrect and ludicrous by many biblical scholars and theologians.
Evolution of the figure over time, Lilith's story evolved from a simple night
demon from
Mesopotamian cultures to more complex figure in Jewish tradition.
In modern times, some have reclaimed her as a feminist symbol of independence
and equality.
That's funny.
That Lilith fair.
That's where that Lilith fair.
See, that picture of Lilith, that's from Diablo, the video game.
I would play as that character.
Can you play as her and fuck people up?
No, no, no.
She's the bad guy, but she fucks you up.
That would be a dope character for Quake, if you could be Lilith and run around
a map
fucking people up.
I think you can be her in Fortnite or something.
Nice.
I think they buy everything.
But that's what she looked like?
In the game?
In the game?
Oh, yeah.
And she's hard to beat.
Yeah?
Yeah, I've only beat her once, but I haven't played it in a long time.
But yeah, everything I know about her is from that game, and it sounds like it's
all wrong.
But isn't it funny that Shishonanim or whatever the fuck it is, they don't even
know what
that was?
Like, it might have been a trumpet, it might have been a flute, it might have
been a person.
I don't know.
It could have been a song.
It could have been the way you sing.
I bet you, like, a Hebrew scholar could probably tell you.
Maybe.
It seems like it's up for debate.
That's the problem with a lot of really old shit.
It's like, they're just guessing.
They're really old shit.
They're just guessing.
Like, what are they trying to say in the book of Ezekiel?
What are they trying to say?
Is it crazy?
Oh, my God.
Well, I haven't read a Bible in, like, 20 years.
Oh, the Ezekiel stuff's bananas, man.
Oh, there you go.
I asked, perplexity, a little more about Shoshana Him and David Koresh.
Was a group or entity related to the Branch Davidians cult led by David Koresh?
A group or entity related to it?
The name seems to refer to Koresh's followers who identified themselves as
students of the
Seven Seals.
Oh, so they were his people.
So he called his people that group.
Alliteration that gets you every time.
Reflection, reflecting their focus on apocalyptic teachings derived from the
Bible's book of
Revelation, Koresh positioned himself as a messianic figure, calling himself
the Lamb who would
open the Seven Seals, an event that would lead to salvation and the apocalypse.
Followers under Koresh's leadership and ideology were sometimes referred to as
Koreshians.
You know what would be crazy?
What really would be crazy is if heaven was real and the murder, like them
being murdered sent
them to heaven because they were, those people were murdered.
Do you ever see what the actual footage of the, the, when they stormed Waco?
No.
Oh bro, it's crazy.
They killed those people.
They lit them on fire.
They, they, they drove tanks into the buildings and flames are shooting out of
the tanks.
They just cook those people, not just Koresh, not just people that like
everybody, men, women,
children.
What were they trying to do in the first place?
Just have them disarmed?
Well, there was a problem with it's, there's a lot to the story and it seems
like in the
beginning there might've been some governmental overreach.
Like they were trying to get a win and they were trying to, uh, like I, who,
who described
this to us?
Was it Oliver Stone?
Who, who is telling, it might've been Daryl Cooper.
Daryl Cooper has an amazing series, um, all on, um, the, the Waco.
No, he doesn't.
It's the Epstein files.
Someone has, he doesn't have, he doesn't, he has one on Guyana.
That's what he has on.
Somebody has one on Koresh.
Is it Cooper?
So who has a series on Koresh?
I'm sorry, I'm blanking here, but the point is they wanted to win.
So they wanted to take out this cult.
And so they, they exaggerated what they were doing and they had to stand down.
So they stood outside of the, of the gates with like fucking armored vehicles
and cops
and men with guns and they waited them out and eventually it escalated.
It escalated to them getting agents on the roof.
Agents on the roof got shot at by the people that were in the cult.
And so then they started shooting at them and it became a gunfight and then
they brought
it in tanks and lit it on fire and killed everybody.
It's, it's a crazy story, man.
It is crazy.
It is the whole thing.
There was a, I know there's a documentary on it as well that, uh, like details,
like all
the different things that led up to the eventual storming of the compound.
And did that, cause what year did that happen?
Was that like 80?
Yeah.
It was like, I think it was like in either the early 90, like 90 or 80.
What was it?
The siege was in 93.
Oh, was it really?
93.
See, I don't remember that.
I remember it.
I remember it.
Like I vaguely remember hearing about it, but I, in my mind it's like, it's not
like something
that happened.
Yeah.
You know, cause that's the same, that was right around, um, wasn't it around
the OJ
murder too?
Yep.
Yep.
Cause that trial was 94.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I was like, to me, that's a significant cultural event and I don't remember
the Waco
thing being, like I remember hearing about it afterwards.
I don't remember hearing about it while it was happening.
Oh, I heard about it.
But were people, how did, how did, how did the people react to the government
just killing
people?
Even though they didn't know, even though, see it took, there was no internet
back then.
It took a while before people really got hip.
There was a few documentaries that released or some news footage that was got
released and
maybe you can get ahold of a VHS tape, some obscure VHS tape that might have
something
to do with Waco.
But people that really didn't know until they started making documentaries
about it until
they saw it on the internet.
Once you can see it, cause most people are just going to believe the narrative.
What's the narrative?
People had guns, which they did.
The guy was a piece of shit and a cult leader, which he was, but like, how did
it lead to
mass murder?
How did it lead to them just, well, it led to, they blocked out this guy's
house.
They, they, you know, and that's not even the worst one.
The worst one is Ruby Ridge.
That one's horrible.
What happened to Ruby Ridge?
Put, put that into perplexity.
Ruby Ridge.
This one's a crazy story because the Ruby Ridge story is like.
Totally avoidable and horrific.
Like they shot a mother while she was holding her baby.
Like crazy.
This, these fam, there was like a family of like preppers that were like out in
the woods.
And you know, maybe the guy was like a little radical, but they completely
escalated it.
Was this in Texas too?
Murdered.
No, I don't remember where that was.
Um, where was that?
Idaho.
Okay.
Incident was 11 day standoff in August of 1992 in Boundary County, Idaho
involving Randy Weaver,
his family and a friend, Kevin Harris against U.S. Marshals and FBI agents.
It began when U.S. Marshals sought to arrest Randy Weaver for failing to appear
in court
on federal firearms charges related to the sale of a modified shotgun.
The situation escalated after Weaver's dog was shot by a marshal during
surveillance, leading
to a firefight in which Weaver's 14-year-old son, Samuel, was killed by gunfire.
Kevin Harris, a family friend, shot and killed Deputy Marshal William Deegan
during the exchange.
The FBI hostage rescue team was called in and during a sniper shot, Randy Weaver
was wounded.
The sniper's second shot, intended for Harris, also hit and killed Weaver's
wife, Vicky,
who was holding their infant daughter behind a cabin door.
The siege ended when negotiators, including activist Bo Gritz, convinced Weaver
and Harris
to surrender.
Harris was arrested on August 30th and Weaver, with his daughter, surrendered
the next day.
Criticism later arose over the FBI's rules of engagement and use of deadly
force, particularly
the constitutional legality of the sniper's second shot that killed Vicky Weaver.
The standoff highlighted tensions between federal law enforcement and citizens,
especially among
anti-government and white separatist groups.
Weaver and Harris were charged with several offenses, but were acquitted of the
most severe charges
except Weaver's conviction for failure to appear in court.
Interesting.
That were both acquitted.
Damn.
They got in a firefight with the feds and they were acquitted.
Well, Kevin Harris popped it off.
Look at that statement.
Weaver and Harris were charged with several offenses, but were acquitted of the
most severe charges
except Weaver's conviction for failure to appear in court.
That's all they got him for.
So nothing.
Failure to appear in court.
They killed his wife.
They shot his kid.
They killed his kid.
They killed his dog.
And it was because he failed to appear in court because he sold a modified gun.
I don't even know what that means.
Was it a sawed-off shotgun, which is illegal?
Did he change the trigger?
What did he do?
Something.
Did he put a large magazine at the bottom of it?
Like, what did he do that was illegal?
That's crazy.
But also, why are they allowed to kill your dog?
Exactly.
Because that's what popped it all off, right?
Oh, you want to hear one of the worst ones of that?
There was a mayor.
I forget what he was the mayor of.
It might have been Washington, D.C., but he was a mayor.
And he had a postman that was doing some sneaky shit.
And the postman was getting weed delivered to his house.
Because they figured, I'm delivering the mail to the mayor's house.
And if I get the weed delivered to the mayor's house, no one's going to check
the mayor's packages for weed.
So I know which one my friend sent to the mayor's house.
I'll just take that.
And that way, you know, I'll have the weed and no one will be any the wiser.
Well, unfortunately, someone was tracking that package and they knew that that
weed was going to this particular address.
They didn't know it was the mayor's house.
So they stormed the mayor's house, shoot his fucking golden retriever,
chase it out in the yard while it's cowering, and shoot it.
You've been around my golden retriever.
Golden retrievers are not biting anybody, ever, ever.
They're the worst guard dogs in the history of the world.
Anybody who comes into my house like, hey, you want to give me a treat?
Like, he loves everybody.
And they shot his dogs.
They fucking zip-tied his family.
Checked the whole house for weed.
Couldn't find anything.
And then, eventually, it unraveled and they realized what had happened.
Like, the guy who was delivering his mail was also involved in this weed dealer.
And they, you know, they didn't piece it together until after they shot this
guy's fucking dogs.
But who's they?
The cops, the SWAT team, they burst down his door.
They did the whole thing, man.
They came in, guns, armor, fucking zip-tied everybody.
They thought they were breaking into the house of, like, a drug.
That's how bad their information is.
It's too intense.
It sounds like they need some weed.
I find that story because it's a very, it's a crazy story.
And it was so heartbreaking because the family had to, the kids had to see
their dog get shot by these cops for fucking no reason.
No reason.
They really got to start letting cops smoke weed.
I think some.
Mushrooms.
Weed's not strong enough.
But something to, well, also, it's like therapy and, you know, also, it's like,
hey, no for sure.
Like, really do an investigation.
How about find out who lives there?
Oh, my God.
It's the mayor.
Or, like, if you shoot a Govan retriever, you should probably have to retire.
So, here it is.
Maryland.
So, police say Maryland mayor appears to be innocent victims of a scheme by two
men to smuggle millions of dollars worth of marijuana by having it delivered to
about a half a dozen unsuspecting recipients.
So, he was one of the many people that this guy delivered mail to.
So, he got home from work, saw a package addressed to his wife on the front
porch, brought it inside, putting it on a table.
Suddenly, police with guns drawn kicked in the door, stormed in, shooting to
death the couple's two dogs and seizing the unopened package.
In it were 32 pounds of marijuana, but the drugs evidently didn't belong to the
couple.
Police say the couple appeared to be innocent victims of a scheme by two young
men to smuggle millions of dollars of marijuana, unsuspecting recipients.
Two men under the arrest include a FedEx delivery man.
Investigators said the delivery man would drop off a package outside of a home,
and the other man would come by a short time later and pick it up.
Wow.
Isn't that crazy?
And, but only, hold on, so only the dogs that died, though?
Our dogs were our children.
Yeah.
Police apparently killed the dogs, he said, for sport, gunning down one of them
as it was running away.
Our dogs were our children, said the 37-year-old Calvo.
Two labs.
Two labros.
Oh, they were labs.
Oh, that's, oh, they're black labs.
I thought they were golden retrievers.
I fucked it up.
Our dogs were our children.
Again, labs, same thing.
Labs aren't biting anybody.
The sweetest dogs in the world.
Said the 37-year-old Calvo, they were our reason we brought this house, because
it had a big yard for them to run in.
Unfucking believable.
He was handcuffed in his boxer shorts for about two hours, along with his
mother-in-law, said the officers didn't believe him when he told them he was
the mayor.
No charges were brought against Calvo or his wife, who came home in the middle
of the raid.
Fuck, man.
But they ain't even apologize for killing the dogs.
Killed labs.
Bro, you find a wow shit.
Like, I just, I just.
That's so sad.
I just came from Tulsa, Oklahoma, with like the, you're like the Tulsa Massacre.
What's the Tulsa Massacre?
It was like Black Wall Street.
It was like.
What was this?
This was the 20s, I think, or maybe the 1910s, like the 1910s, where like after
the Trails of Tears, well, the civilized traps, basically they were told that
they could have.
And they left Oklahoma because the land smelled funny, the air smelled funny,
whatever.
And then they found oil.
And that set off a whole bunch of shit.
Because now you got a bunch of natives and freed slaves that's about to be rich.
So you ever, you see that movie, the Flower Moon movie?
No, I didn't see it.
Oh, but it's kind of like that.
Like they would, because you couldn't, they couldn't sell their land.
Some tribes couldn't sell their land.
So you had to marry into the family.
And then if you killed everybody, it was yours.
Really?
Yeah.
And so, but Tulsa was, it was Black Wall Street, but it was like the Greenwood
area of Tulsa.
And they, and it was basically like a prosperous, wealthy black community.
And there was a riot one night and they burned it all down.
And so they did this because of oil?
No.
Well, that was the backdrop for Oklahoma.
But, but they did this just because of like racial jealousy, just like, oh,
they did it
because they were doing well.
Yeah.
They were doing too well.
And it was a lot of racial tension in the community because the whole, a whole
idea behind
institutional racism is that poor white people don't mind being taken advantage
of because
they know that it's black people somewhere that they're doing worse than them.
But that doesn't work.
If you live in next to dudes that's dressing better than you, they got cars,
they got thriving
business and it got racial.
Like the National Guard came in and, and that's what, that was all stuff I
learned before I
went there.
But then I went to the museum there and I bring this up just because it would
blow your mind
how recently they, like, they just now acknowledged it like five years ago.
Right.
This all happened because I was at, at the comedy club I was at, I mentioned to
the owner, I
was like, I've stayed in Hilton's all over the place.
Why does my Hilton say, why does it have these pure things everywhere to tell
you that the
air is clean and the water's clean?
And he was like, oh yeah, they just started filtering the water that goes to
the north
side of town like a few years ago, like the black side of town.
I was like, what?
Like how long, how recently?
He was like, uh, 20.
And me and my friend was like, 20?
It was like, yeah.
Put that back up, please.
So, so I was like, he was like, have you not been to the museum?
I was like, no.
And so we went over there and it was like, it was a heavy day.
Bro, this is crazy.
Look at this statistics here.
Look how many blocks, 35 square blocks of the neighborhood.
Yeah.
At the time, one of the wealthiest black communities in the United States, colloquially
known as
Black Wall Street, more than 800 people were admitted to hospitals.
As many as 6,000 black residents of Tulsa were interned, many of them for
several days.
The Oklahoma Bureau of Vital Statistics officially recorded 36 dead.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And so they just now started, like the guy told me.
Look at this.
Estimates from up to, from 36 to up to around 300 dead.
35 blocks.
Yeah.
They, they don't know how many are dead because there was a lot of mass graves
and stuff that
they just started looking for.
Holy shit, man.
But even still, even still to this day, they're not allowed to teach about it
in schools.
Like they just now started being allowed to teach about it, but they're not
allowed to say
who was who.
Even the YouTube video is age restricted.
I was going to show it to you, but the account I'm on, I didn't want to do it.
Yeah.
This, this shit was crazy.
And so, and, and so Joe, if you want to, if you want to feel real uncomfortable,
so I'll
go in the museum and they have these holograms.
So you, you sit, you sit in the barber chair and you can see yourself in the
mirror, but
there's a hologram of a barber, like cutting your hair and there's three of
them in a row.
And they're like having a conversation about what's going on around town.
It's, it's heavy, bro.
Wow.
Put that back up.
So the cause of it, they're saying, so it says the massacre began during
Memorial weekend
after a 19 year old Dick Rowland, a black shoe shiner, was accused of assaulting
Sarah
Page, a white 21 year old elevator operator in nearby Drexel building.
He was arrested and rumors that he was to be lynched spread.
The most likely, most widely reported and corroborated inciting incident
occurred as the group
of black men left when an elderly white man approached OB man, a black man, and
demanded that he hand
over his pistol.
Man refused.
And the old man attempted to disarm him.
A gunshot went off.
And then according to the sheriff's reports, all hell broke loose.
The two groups shot at each other until midnight when the group of black men
were greatly outnumbered
and forced to retreat to Greenwood.
Fuck.
At the end of the exchange of gunfire, 12 people were dead, 10 white and two
black.
Alternatively, another eyewitness account was that the shooting began down the
street from
the courthouse when black business owners came to the defense of a lone black
man being attacked
by a group of around six white men.
It is possible the eyewitnesses did not recognize the fact that this incident
was occurring as
a part of a rolling gunfight that was already underway.
Holy fuck, man.
Yeah, shit went down in Greenwood.
And the thing is, it's still not back.
Like, so, so then they, uh, they, they put a highway right through the middle
of that neighborhood
and it completely like destroyed all of the, the economy and everything.
Wow.
Yeah, man.
And I, I, like I thought I knew about this shit, but then when I went there, it
was, it
was real intense for me, but then we, we ate, we ate some good ass food though.
It was me and, it was me and Lucas McCurry.
And we, when we got done, we got back to the hotel.
He was like, oh, that's the blackest day I've ever had.
I was like, might be mad too.
This is the place?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's called the, oh, wow.
Um, it's called the, uh, the Black Wall Street Museum.
And they just recently, they just recently admitted this?
Uh, they, they admitted it probably in the, like 2010 or something like that.
They, they acknowledged it.
I mean, everyone already knew, but now they're just now getting to the point
where they're
allowed to like teach it, but they, but they still aren't allowed to say what
the people
look like.
So they, they can say group A did this and group B did that, but they can't say
black,
white.
They can't say clan, this, you know.
Really?
Yeah.
They, they, they still won't say people's, certain people's names.
Cause this is, these are like, cause the clan is heavily involved too.
Like when you go to the, to the museum, there's like a, a clan ledger of like
the meeting,
you know, like a, like a roll call.
Whoa.
Yeah.
It was a, it was a wild ass, it's wild out there in Oklahoma.
And the thing is they still haven't recovered.
That neighborhood is still not recovered.
I mean, it never will at this point.
The history of Oklahoma is so crazy.
Oklahoma is not.
Well, that's the thing.
So we, we get done the tour.
We walk out of the tour guide and I, and I walked past this guy.
I didn't know he was one of the guides cause we didn't take a guide.
We just walked through the museum ourselves and he goes, you look familiar.
And I was like, you probably know me from comedy.
Well, he was like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, and he is like the guide.
And then he, we walked around with him for like an hour.
Oh wow.
And he just, he told us, he was like, yeah, they don't even say everything.
So this is also blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
He took us to like all these historical spots and we, we, we ate at this place
called sweet Lisa's, which you, bro, you could taste, you could taste the, the
struggle,
the season, everything, the season, just perfection.
You know what I mean?
You could just tell this recipe came from the ancestors.
It was incredible.
And it's like in this little shop, they just got indoor seating, you know?
Wow.
Yeah.
It was like, it was like, it was, it was almost like, I guess cause in my mind
it's easy to learn about shit like that and think of it as something that
happened
a long time ago.
But then to be there and realize like, they still haven't come all the way back.
You know?
You see that photo of that lady, that Native American lady at the front door
where
she's breastfeeding a child.
You've seen it.
Oh, at the mothership?
Yeah.
Here, here in this room.
Oh no.
I went outside.
You never saw it?
No.
You know that, um, that one, um, the, you've seen the, the painting of a Native
American face that's on bullets.
It's like all the back.
You've seen that?
Yeah.
That's Quanah Parker.
That lady, Cynthia Ann Parker, she was kidnapped by Comanches in Oklahoma.
So what they used to do in Oklahoma is, this is so dark.
They would give people these plots of land knowing they were going to get
attacked by
the Comanches.
Like, hey, go, you could go live out here.
And they basically like use them as bait.
They're like, start, they started conflict to try to conquer these territories
by just
having people go out there and, and get shot at and get killed and get
slaughtered.
And then eventually they would have to send the army out.
And then they won after a long time, they eventually went through that and went
through
here where at Texas, the Comanche ran this place too, but they killed her whole
family
and they stole her when she was nine years old.
And they kept her because they had a hard time having children because they had
so many
horse riders.
They were riding horses all the time and a lot of women miscarried.
So it was very difficult for them to keep their numbers up.
So when they would go on raiding parties, they would kill everybody except the
children.
And then they incorporate the children into the tribe.
Cynthia Ann Parker was the last of that tribe.
She gave birth to Quanah Parker, who was the last chief of that tribe.
She married the chief of the tribe.
She had a baby with him.
That baby, that half American baby was Quanah Parker.
He was the last chief of the Comanches.
So now it's no more Comanches?
I mean, they still exist, but they don't have a reservation.
Like, you know, like they don't have territory.
Oh, word.
They were nomadic.
And they ran all.
I mean, I'm sure.
Is there a Comanche reservation?
We should find that out.
Probably not.
But they don't get represented because they didn't have art.
It's a crazy civilization.
Well, the dude was telling me that, like, so there were four tribes considered
the civilized tribes.
But those are the people that agreed to, like, stop fighting in the United
States, to, like, learn English, to, like, be Christian, those kind of things.
And they were promised Oklahoma knowing that it was already commanded.
And so they got out there and got to, you know.
Yeah, the United States government did that with everybody, I think.
Bro.
The Comanche Nation is a federally recognized tribe headquartered in Lawton,
Oklahoma.
But do they have a reservation there?
There's no longer a Comanche reservation in Texas, the historical one
established in 1854 near Clear Fork of the Brazos River in present-day Throckmorton
County.
The Comanche were later forced to relocate to Indian Territory, now known as
Oklahoma, in 1859 after the reservation was dissolved and the current Comanche
Nation is based in Oklahoma.
So it seems like they don't have a reservation.
Bro, it's mad history that I'm so ignorant about.
Got to read this book, Empire of the Summer Moon.
Get it on audio.
It's incredible.
Empire of the Summer Moon?
Empire of the Summer Moon.
I'm going to get it right now.
It's all about the Comanche in Texas and in Oklahoma.
But that's part of the story.
So, like, what I was getting at is, like, the history of Oklahoma is just seeped
in violence.
And it's still not fixed.
It can't be.
But a lot of people are moving there right now.
Well, I bet.
It's a lot of people want to move to a place where they don't get fucked with
as much.
You know what California is?
What's it called again?
Empire of the Summer Moon.
You know what California is proposing?
I don't know if they're going to do this, if they're going to be able to pull
this off.
But there's a new wealth tax that's basically they're going to tax your savings
account.
I've looked that up.
It's only for 200 billionaires.
What?
Is what that's for.
What does that mean?
It's not for, like, every person.
Okay.
Even if it's for 200 billionaires, that's their fucking money.
If you have a savings account, that means you paid taxes already.
Like, that's the only way you get a savings account.
They're taxing billionaires' savings accounts?
This is what I was reading today when people were talking about the proposition.
This proposition of a wealth tax for savings accounts.
That sounds, if I'm not reading into this incorrectly, it sounds crazy.
Whatever.
I'm just saying.
I understand.
But why?
Why?
Why do you get to have a one-time tax of money that's already taxed?
California does not currently have a wealth tax, but multiple proposals have
been introduced,
including a recent one, for a one-time 5% tax on individuals with a net worth
of over 1 billion.
Yeah.
I'm with Jamie on this.
Fuck them.
Yeah, but not fuck them, because that could be you someday.
I didn't say that either.
Here's the thing.
It's like, it starts with them, and then it trickles down to someone who's
worth 500,000
or 5 million or whatever.
5% on money that you've already been taxed for.
And then it goes to what, though?
When you say fuck them, all it does is make more bloated government, because
what are they
going to do?
They're going to spend it wisely?
They never spend any money wisely.
But the reason I say fuck them is because most of these billionaires, they go
out of their
way not to pay the taxes they're supposed to pay anyway.
It's not like they're getting taxed.
A lot of these motherfuckers don't even pay any taxes.
Oh, that's not true.
No?
They all pay taxes.
Everyone pays taxes.
It's just taxes on what?
A lot of them, the way it works is all your money is in assets, and you get
paid a certain
amount by the company.
So when someone's worth X amount of money, that's not like how much money they
have liquid.
Right, right.
I get it.
You know, that's a lot of it.
But the point is, the government should not be taking your money that's already
been taxed.
If I'm reading into this correctly, so if you get a paycheck from the mothership,
and then
you do your taxes, and then you take that money, and you put it in a savings
account, you've
already paid your taxes.
So if you've already paid your taxes on that money, how can they tax money that
you've already
taxed?
Oh, no.
That's crazy.
I don't give a fuck how much money they own.
I don't care how much.
If there's a loophole in the tax code, fix the loophole.
But if it's there, and that's the law, and they're able to skirt around that
law in whatever
way that's legal, you don't get to steal their money.
According to the Washington Post, this is from a health care workers union.
That's a recent proposal, and it will go to fund health care spending.
It still has to be voted on also.
But either way, all you're doing is taking money from people.
And the group believes this could raise about $100 billion.
Right.
And what would they do with it?
What do they do with the fire money?
What happened to all the money that was raised for the Pacific Palisades fire?
Does anybody know?
That's a charity being corrupt.
That wasn't the government.
Right.
But this is what I'm saying.
It's the same thing.
It's a group of people, you're giving them a bunch of money, and they're
supposed to allocate
it in a positive way.
Whether it's the government, or whether it's a charity, who fucking trusts
anybody that's
doing these things to be wise with the money, where it makes sense?
Where you're a billionaire going, you know what?
I like it.
Take my 5%, and we're going to fix crime.
No, you know, I'm fixing shit.
You're just going to take my money, and you're just going to be more incompetent.
You know, when Gavin Newsom got into office, they had a surplus.
California had a surplus.
Really?
Yes.
Why don't you Google that?
What was the surplus of California, and during the time where Gavin Newsom was
the governor,
how much is the deficit now?
Because I only hear surplus with regard to Bill Clinton.
Bro, they spent $24 billion on the homeless crisis, and it got worse.
So this is what I'm saying.
You're going to take tax money, and you're going to do what with it?
In 2022, California Governor Gavin Newsom announced record-breaking budget
surplus of approximately
$97.5 billion, which was projected to fund new initiatives like cash payments
to residents
and investments in drought relief, child care, and education.
However, the state later faced a significant budget deficit, primarily due to
overestimating revenues from a booming stock market that later declined,
coupled with increased spending commitments during the surplus period.
By 2024, Newsom was proposing a budget to close a multi-billion dollar deficit,
which required spending cuts and other measures to balance a budget.
So the surplus of $97.5 billion, it became a multi-billion dollar deficit in
two years.
Because of the stock market?
It seems like there's a lot of stuff.
Overestimating revenues, increased spending commitments, which is probably a
big part of it.
They probably spent too much money during the surplus period.
But the point is, it's mismanagement.
What if they only tax the people that's on the Epstein list?
You only get so much.
Just take all their money.
Yeah, if you're on the list, take all your money.
They'd probably only get a few hundred billion dollars.
That's the thing.
It's like, at the end of the day, they're going to blow through that money.
It sounds crazy, but they're going to blow through that money.
They blow through all the money.
But, you know, I mean, it's not fair on paper, but it's hard to have empathy
for people that have way more than the people.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
I'm not having empathy.
I'm just recognizing the law and recognizing where this goes.
The problem with any decision that we make on people that have more money than
us, eventually it's going to trickle down to you.
Because if they could just tax these people, because there's only 200 of them,
they can't really talk too much shit.
You're like, okay, but why are you doing that?
Look, if they did something illegal to get that money and, you know, you're
going to punish them for that, I'm all with you.
But if they have the money and then it's in their savings account and then you
decide to tax the savings account because you need money to do what?
More incompetent bullshit?
That's the problem.
Like, they're not competent.
If you're going to take that 5% and you knew this is going to be what cleans up
the Palisades, this is going to be what fixes education.
But it's not.
It's not going to do anything.
The homeless crisis gets worse.
It's bigger than ever.
Well, that's a whole – the homeless thing is a whole racket because I
experienced that firsthand.
It's just people making money.
That money isn't going to actually help anybody that's on the streets.
I mean, it kind of is, but not really, you know?
There's so many charities that are dirty.
Just like people that are dirty, you know, like those creepy guys who pretend
to be male feminists and, you know, they're really a piece of shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's the type of people that set up charities but they really just want
the money.
Like, there's people that have run charities where the charity makes – the
actual thing makes like 6%, 10% of the money generated.
Most of it goes to the people.
And they have lavish lifestyles.
They get paid tremendous salaries.
Did I ever tell you the –
To run charity.
The shelter I was living in, how we – the guy that was running the place got
– he got high and then the executive had to show up and he pulled up in a
fucking phantom with a fancy-ass suit on and a nice-ass watch.
And I was like, hold on.
How the fuck is he – because that's the first time it hit everybody like, oh,
this isn't –
It's a business.
Yeah, it's a business.
Yeah.
It's a business.
They're generating income, spending the least amount possible, providing you
with the least amount of care that they have to, and then pocketing the rest
and say we got a high overhead, very high overhead.
And as long as nobody dies.
Yeah.
Because that's the thing.
It's all a racket and everyone knows it's like all wink, wink.
Yeah.
But they were – the rules actually applied to the actual homeless residents.
Yeah.
But it was all nonsense.
It was like they were real strict about you make sure you sign in these papers
saying you were doing these activities because they were getting grants for
those things.
But I was like, well, just put my signature in there.
This is all bullshit.
Isn't that crazy?
But, yeah, I think most charities are a scam.
Most charities have an element of scam.
Yeah.
But there's a lot of legitimate charities out there for sure.
There's a lot of really good charitable people out there for sure.
Well –
Real people that are doing charities for the right reasons.
Yeah.
Well, the workers – a lot of the workers are in there for the right reasons.
Yes.
But it's just like colleges, right?
Where it's like – it's just that the entity has become so bloated with –
because – I think –
I think – can you look it up, Jimmy?
Most of like the top universities, most of their money goes towards
administration.
So they've just – you know, first they hire people to collect the money.
And then they got to hire more people to watch over those people.
And then more people get more –
And then before you know it, the whole admin side is so bloated that the
college gets upside down if they don't raise tuition.
Yeah.
You know, and it just keeps going.
And then the cycles just keep going and going and going and going.
And then they have donors, which is weird.
Yeah.
I don't understand how that works.
Crazy amounts of money.
People donate to colleges.
Yeah.
People love their alma maters.
But there must be –
Love them.
There must be a tax thing too.
Where does the money from most universities go?
The money from most universities primarily goes towards faculty and staff
salaries, student services, and campus maintenance.
Significant portion is also allocated to research, academic programs, and
scholarships.
Universities spend on maintaining buildings and facilities, supporting student
housing and dining, healthcare, technology upgrades, and activities like sports
and events.
Government funding, tuition, investments, grants, donations, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
Eventually, administrative costs and strategic initiatives also consume parts
of the budget.
Overall, salaries and wages usually make up the largest expenditure category
for universities.
So, it's salaries.
Yeah.
They get a lot of money.
It's salary for the admin people, the fucking coaches.
Yeah.
Some of those coaches.
Well, there's weird gigs that people have where like a major university will
pay someone like a half a million dollars a year to do stuff.
Like, does Elizabeth Warren get paid from Harvard still?
Like, you could, like, teach it.
To, like, speak?
Yeah.
Like, you know who had one of them gigs?
Biden.
He had one of them gigs where they gave him like a million dollars a year and
he pretended he was a professor.
And then, you know, like, he said, when I taught law at Penn State or wherever
it was, he taught law.
It was like Professor America.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he never taught class.
Like, it's all horseshit.
Oh, he was never anybody.
You got one of them sweet gigs where you get money from the university.
Bro, sign me up.
Those are like mafia jobs.
Yeah, I'll take a bullshit job in my heart.
Elizabeth Warren, currently a United States senator.
She's on leave from her teaching position at Harvard and no longer receives a
salary from the university.
Her current annual salary as a senator is $174,000.
She and her husband, also a Harvard professor, report additional income from
book royalties and investments.
Her salary for this 2010 to 2011 was reported at $429,000.
This figure came under scrutiny during her first Senate campaign with critics
mischaracterizing it as payment for teaching only one class.
Politifact rated this claim half true because the amount covered a two-year
period in which she taught two classes and was on leave to advise the Obama
administration and also reflect their status as a high-ranking, accomplished
professor and researcher.
Stop mischaracterizing Elizabeth, Joe.
What is her net worth?
Put that in there.
Net worth.
That's not going to be accurate.
Let's find out.
Bro, this shit's always wrong.
It's not a good place to look.
Is it worth shit?
Because I look, the net worth shit, the internet, they said I'm worth $4
million.
I said, where the fuck that money at?
Maybe they just say you should be.
I think people just be making up shit.
Well, they definitely do that.
Yeah.
They definitely make up stuff, especially those websites.
That's like some Indian website.
Some scammer dude is just faking it.
Just trying to get clicks.
Maybe they say, uh, uh.
It says an estimated, this is in Open Secrets.
Oh, in the Senate.
In the Senate.
So, an estimated net worth of $7,977,000.
Bro, isn't.
In 2018.
That was in 2018 she was worth that much.
Isn't there an app where you can, like, match the stock trades of senators?
Yes.
The Pelosi tracker.
Oh, it's just her?
Yeah, she's the best.
Oh.
She's the go.
So, if you just make all the same moves she makes, you'll be good?
Yeah, you'll make some money.
Yeah, 100%.
Especially if you act quick.
I'm sure there's a lot of people doing exactly what she does the moment she
does it.
I gotta get one of those guys and just be like, yeah, put it all on.
Because she makes, okay, now she's worth $30 million.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
What's that?
This is the Pelosi tracker.
Oh.
There's 14,557 copiers.
I was going to say, she's worth way more than $30 million, right?
Invested that much money.
Isn't she worth, like, a couple hundred million?
I think so.
Yeah.
She's worth a lot.
She's about to retire.
Of course.
She's got $400 million and she's a million years old.
Why is she still working?
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Can you imagine working at that age, 82?
I think they're addicted to the power.
Power.
You can't have-
This is bringing up Mayor Taylor Greene's recent stock trades.
Oh.
She's been making some stock trades?
Yeah, follows everybody.
Bro, they all do.
All follows everyone.
They all do.
Yeah, bro.
They all do.
I think that should be illegal.
It should be illegal.
I don't think anyone in the federal government should be able to trade stocks.
Well, especially with stuff where you have some inside knowledge about a bill
that's going
to be passed that would be very, very good for some corporation.
Right.
Or they all have to invest through like, there's a non-partisan government
agency where they
can put all their money they want to invest that invests everyone's money in
the same thing.
No, no, no.
No?
Because you start doing that and then you got more corruption, more room for
bureaucracy,
more room for bullshit.
You got too much money flowing around.
They're not going to be evil with that.
So then what do you say to the argument that they should be able to-
No.
No?
No, you're insider trading.
What if they just tell people to do it for them?
How do you stop that?
Well, that's what they're supposed to be doing now, but-
Yeah, I mean, what's the end?
That could be-
No, that could be a problem.
But at least then they could catch you and you can get in trouble.
That's how insider trading works.
Like, so say if they do that and they do it, you know, through WhatsApp or
something like
that and then the government gets access to your WhatsApp and then they find
out you've been trading.
That's the emails thing with the lady getting emails-
Stacey Platt.
During it, it's like, what?
No, if it were up to me, it'd be Judge Dredd shit.
Where like, you get four terms and then they take you out and they just put you
out in the desert with nothing.
They take all your shit, donate it back to the people and they just send you
out.
You were in charge for, you know, having long and now get the fuck out of here.
Look, there's no way you make $170,000 a year and you're worth, let's say she's
worth $180 million.
I've heard it's a lot more than that.
I've heard estimates as high as $400 million.
But there's no way a regular person who makes $170,000 a year ever gets there
and keeps that $170,000 a year job.
Get the fuck out of here.
There's not a chance in hell you keep that $170,000 a year job where you're
working eight hours a day, every fucking day.
And on the side, you've racked up $400 million.
Well, bitch, that's what you're good at.
Imagine if you were doing that all day long while you've been working in the
Senate.
You would have even more money.
Are you crazy?
You're wasting all your valuable time and resources doing a job that pays you $170,000
a year.
But it has nothing to do with your investments.
Why would you even suspect that it has anything to do with the profit that I
make from my investments?
Is she the richest person in Congress?
She's got to be up there.
She can't be.
Well, there's probably some billionaires who signed up and won and got into
office somewhere.
There's probably a lot of them.
But the thing is, they're all richer when they leave.
Well, Bloomberg, wasn't he like a multi-billionaire when he became the mayor of
New York City?
I don't know.
I think he was.
Michael Bloomberg is crazy rich.
I think he was a billionaire while he became mayor because he wanted to fix New
York City because he loved it.
Did it work?
Well, I was just there.
It was nice.
It's worth $109 billion estimated.
Yeah.
He's worth a lot of money.
Imagine.
Richest person in the world.
Those sandwiches you put up?
Ooh, Giovanni's Italian deli, bro.
You could barely get your mouth on them.
They're like that big.
I want him to come out here.
I want him to open up a deli out here.
Are you talking to him about it?
He said he would be interested in doing it.
I mean, look, he's a fucking hilarious character.
He's a very funny guy.
And his food is fucking sensational.
And all of it gets imported from Italy.
So he can import it from Italy.
All the ingredients?
Yes.
Everything is imported from Italy.
Oh, okay.
Or the mortadella, the mozzarella, all that stuff.
So he's getting it all from Italy.
All the sun-dried peppers.
Bro, it's sensational.
I mean, it looks good.
I've still never had a chance to try it.
Next time.
Next time I go to New York, you're coming with me.
All right.
Deal.
Bro, you're going to feel so bad the next day, though.
Oh, my God.
Sunday, I was like, I'm not eating anymore.
I looked like I was pregnant.
My stomach was out like that far.
I ate so much.
Yeah.
He gave me a four-foot-long sandwich, dude.
It was four feet long.
I just kept stuffing it in my fat face.
Yeah, I was kidding.
I ate meatballs.
I ate four or five cannolis.
I ate so much.
I should not have gone that deep.
What, did they cater to the event?
Why do they drop off giant sandwiches?
He just does it for me.
Like, I've blown him up online.
I've blown him up on the podcast.
His deli's killing it.
That's a good guy.
He's a great guy.
And I found them just randomly.
G&R Deli in the Bronx.
That's how I found them.
After you left.
What do you mean?
After you left New York.
This is like.
Oh, yeah.
This is recently.
This is like within a couple of years.
I, I, you know, because most of the time I eat really clean.
And most of the time it's just meat.
But when I go off, I go, I like to really go off.
Yeah, I've seen you literally like eat like a hostage.
Like somebody that just got released.
It's a problem.
Yeah.
I'm a real glutton, man.
I, I, I eat massive.
It's not just eating food that I shouldn't be eating.
I'll eat a massive amount of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some good pasta.
It's hard to stop.
I can't stop.
It's hard to stop.
Oh, yeah.
Well, so I ate at this place, Teresi with my wife on Friday night.
That was incredible.
It's Italian food.
I ate way too much there.
Way too.
It was insensational.
And then the next day, Giovanni shows up with these two giant four foot
sandwiches.
But I, my rule is when I'm in New York, all bets are off.
All that diet shit's out the window.
I'm eating for fun.
I'm just eating for fun when I'm in New York.
My greedy ass.
I ate at, I ate at a Dai Dewey.
How do you say that?
Oh, Dai Dewey, yeah.
I had a Dai Dewey on Sunday and then I, and then I did Sushi by Scratch last
night.
Oh, my God.
Shout out to Jesse Griffiths.
Jeff, Jesse's the head chef and the owner of Dai Dewey.
Oh, buddy.
He's the man.
Brilliant.
I stumbled onto that place and I, I thought I was putting you on.
You were like, oh, I know that guy.
Yeah, I found out about that place years ago because he was on my friend
Stephen Rinell's
podcast and I was like, oh, that guy is so interesting.
And so I actually had, I don't know if I had him on my podcast before I ate at
his restaurant
or after.
I don't remember.
But then we went to his restaurant like during the pandemic when we first moved
here and it
was like he had to be spread out.
We actually ate outside the first time we did it because we couldn't eat inside
yet.
Bro, and you know, you know, because I love, because, you know, there's great
restaurants
all of Austin and I, and I know, I know it's going to be good whenever the
staff is generally
happy to be there.
Like you go on Dai Dewey and everyone fucking loves it there.
Especially like if you see old people working there.
Yeah.
You see somebody that like, you know, that's pushing 50 and they still love and
they happy
and gingerly that it's, you know, it's going to be good.
Yeah.
Dai Dewey is sensational.
Yeah.
The thing, and the thing about them is everything is from Texas.
There's nothing in there.
You can't, like, you can't even get like a Diet Coke in there.
They don't have anything that ain't from Texas.
Mm.
Nothing.
So good too.
Yeah.
And he always has like exotic shit on the menu.
Yeah.
The menu is always changing, but you can always get those, um, those pork chops.
Oh yes, pork chops are sensational.
But the wild boar pork chops.
Sensational.
Yeah.
Everything's sensational.
Jesse's like one of the best chefs in the country.
I've been there enough times now where I know like anything you order is going
to be good.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
We are spoiled here, bro.
Yeah, big time.
There's so much good food in Texas and specifically in Austin.
At the medium to high level.
Mm-hmm.
The fast food is trash.
Like if you, no, seriously, like if you, if you're, if it's not a Texas fast
food place,
I, I, it's, it's such a phenomenon to me.
Like what's trash?
Like everything that's not a Texas, like Dan's is great.
Whataburger's great.
But like, but like Chick-fil-A is not as good.
McDonald's is not as good.
Chick-fil-A's not as good?
Wendy's is terrible.
I had Chick-fil-A like a month ago.
It was amazing.
No, it's okay.
But, but it's, but it's, it's not up to.
The service is not as good.
I mean, Chick-fil-A tastes the same everywhere.
You go inside to Chick-fil-A?
Yeah, I'm going inside or if I order it.
Chick-fil-A is a drive-through thing, man.
You want to eat in your car like a pig, like a disgusting person who hates
himself.
But Chick-fil-A might be somewhat of an exception, but like even In-N-Out, even
In-N-Out here is not as good.
Were you telling me that Chick-fil-A has like aluminum in it?
Were you one of those telling me?
No, that's probably Kurt Mesquist.
It was Tony, I think.
It was Tony?
Yeah, it was Tony.
Yeah, he was saying Chick-fil-A has aluminum in it or something.
What?
What does it have in it?
What is a controversial ingredient?
I think it's the buns or something, but it's aluminum.
It's in a lot of stuff.
Aluminum what, though?
It's not just aluminum.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's not.
It's like a...
It's foil.
They grind up foil.
No, it's not foil.
It makes it thicker.
It makes your bun thicker.
But sometimes certain names sound scary.
Right, right, right, right.
But it's just...
It's something normal.
Right.
Like vitamin C sounds scary.
Ascorbic acid.
Like, oh, no.
Sodium, aluminum, phosphate.
Yeah.
Is that a preservative?
Oh, look it up.
Man, fuck preservatives.
That's what's wrong with us.
Everything is preserving your gut biome.
It's all getting in there.
All this bacteria.
Sodium, aluminum, phosphate.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think that's bad.
But also, I've probably eaten so much of whatever that is.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's...
When you think about, like, food like that, you're just not supposed to eat it
every day.
That's all it is.
It's really good if you just want to eat it and enjoy it.
Like, you ever have Cane's, those chicken fingers?
Yeah, yeah, I've heard Cane's.
Those are good.
Cane's, yeah, Cane's.
Cane's is pretty good.
Pretty good.
If you...
Just don't do it every day.
Just every now and again.
But again, even Cane's...
Even Cane's is better in other places.
What?
Yeah.
Are you a Cane's connoisseur?
No.
No, but I'm just...
I've eaten...
I'm a fast food...
I've eaten a lot of fast food.
I've heard that In-N-Out here is not as good.
In-N-Out here is not as good.
Really?
Wendy's is not as good.
Does the In-N-Out here have the same...
KFC is bad.
Does the In-N-Out here have the same sort of menu or you can get off-menu stuff?
No, it's the same everything except the service sucks and the food is not as...
It's just not as consistent.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
Like, because I've never...
Before being...
Before here, I've never been to...
Because, you know, like Chick-fil-A in In-N-Out, that's a certain standard.
Okay.
Especially if you're coming from L.A.
But you said McDonald's, too.
Yeah, the McDonald's here is trash.
It's a food distribution issue.
Is it?
Yeah.
This happened once when McDonald's actually bought, like, my favorite pizza
place from Ohio.
They couldn't expand it, right?
Because, like, you couldn't get the same ingredients you get in Ohio and
Florida.
So, you don't like your quality.
But doesn't McDonald's, like, send all the ingredients to all their places?
But that means you don't have one giant McDonald's farm.
You don't?
No.
No.
It's not how...
I mean, we would know where that is, you know?
No.
Oh, my God.
You imagine the slaughter going on at the McDonald's farm?
How many fucking cows are losing their lives?
So, you gotta get it.
You gotta source that shit locally.
But if I'm gonna eat at McDonald's in any city, you can find the good McDonald's.
Like, you just Google, the good McDonald's in Detroit, whatever.
But here, there aren't any.
They're all terrible.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And so, it's a food distribution thing?
I'm pretty sure...
How are they getting bad beef in Texas?
It's not bad beef, but it's just not the same.
It's not consistent.
It's not the exact same.
So, the processing might not have the same...
Because the thing is, it's not great food.
You eat at McDonald's because you know what you're gonna get.
Right.
It tastes just like it does every other time you've had it.
Yeah.
It's not because it's the best.
No.
So, when you settle for McDonald's, right?
And you just, you know...
And you have a standard.
Yeah.
It's like calling your ex.
You know?
It's like you settle for it, and it's not as good.
You're just like...
No.
It's like it's gotta taste like I'm expecting.
Got it.
You know?
But it's just off.
Have you ever seen some people argue that restaurants are just who can cook the
best Cisco food?
So, it's like they're all getting it from the same kind of distributor.
Well, I think most of them are.
Really?
But it's...
I mean, that's a...
That's really dwindling it down to the base of like, that's not really what
everything's
happening.
Yeah.
Like, I'm pretty sure if you see like Southwest Egg Rolls, like, it's probably
a 50% chance
that that came from a Cisco freezer.
You know that Mexican place you turned me on to went under?
I know.
That was a bummer.
I can't believe it.
Boulevard, is that what it's called?
No.
No, that's not what it's called.
Boulevard is a place that's still...
I don't even remember what it was called, man, but it was incredible.
It was so good.
Yeah.
Maybe they just moved.
Maybe I need to look them up because I forget the name of it.
I don't know, man.
I think they went under because they spent a lot of money on that place.
Remember the artwork in that place?
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
Well, the location was not...
Because they weren't near any other restaurants.
It wasn't terrible, though.
It wasn't hard to find.
Yeah, but it's still off the path of like any...
Like, if you had to go over there, there was no other reason to go over there
unless you
lived over there.
But you go over there for a restaurant.
Yeah.
Like, it seemed like they were packed when I was there.
That's what was confusing.
They were.
They were, but towards the end, it started being less and less.
That happens, man.
People get excited about a new place, and it's popping at first, and then it
just sort
of dies off.
Yeah.
But that's the first one of my...
That's the first time I've seen a great restaurant go under that I liked.
I know.
And quick.
Yeah.
It was probably a year.
Yeah.
It's a fucking tough business, man.
It really is.
It's a tough business.
Yeah.
And that was started by a guy that knew what he was doing.
That's how tough it is.
Right?
Don't you know the guy?
No.
I met him.
No.
Okay, yeah.
I met him there.
You know what I wish they would bring here is a bizarre meet.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's probably...
He probably would go to like a bigger city than Austin, maybe, but...
Well, he's got one in Chicago.
He just opened up one in New York.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
We ate the one in Chicago.
It was great.
Oh, of course.
And the new one in Vegas.
He's got a new one in Vegas.
He moved spots.
Oh, okay.
To a different casino?
Yeah, same deal, though.
Oh, sensational.
It's got to be.
Sensational.
Off the charts.
Oh, bro.
And they always look out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're great.
Yeah.
And Jose Andres came on the podcast, the head chef.
Oh, word.
He was great.
Such a nice guy, man.
That guy, genuine...
You want to talk about real charity?
That guy genuinely goes to war-torn regions, anywhere there's some sort of a
natural disaster,
and he brings trucks, and they start cooking, and they feed people for free.
They feed people that level of food, too.
Yes.
His food.
Yeah.
His food.
He loves helping people, like genuinely loves helping people, and loves cooking
for people.
And he went to Poland and was catching the Ukrainian refugees when they were
leaving Ukraine.
These people were starving.
He set up shop, started feeding them.
That's how good a guy he is.
Yeah.
And he's a master.
A master chef.
Yeah.
His restaurants are incredible.
He came in here.
He was making food for us while we were doing the podcast.
How?
Like, he had a hot plate?
He had a piece of ham.
He was cutting off ham and shit.
Oh, he had like that fancy-ass ham.
Yeah.
Hamon.
Hamon.
This thin-sliced.
Remember that?
It comes with like a stand.
Yeah, man.
He gave me a whole leg.
I took it home with me.
Yeah, it'll last forever.
Yeah, it'll last forever.
It's cured.
Yeah.
Bro, it's so good.
It's so good.
Good food's going to be the downfall of me.
Yeah, but you could have both.
Yeah, you could have both.
You just gotta, you gotta have like, you ever see The Rock's cheat meals?
Yeah.
On Sundays, The Rock will have these legendary cheat meals.
I don't know if he still does it, but he would post them on Instagram.
It was like a stack of pancakes, giant chocolate chip cookies.
No, but The Rock shrunk down now, like John said.
He did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think he got too big, because he did that movie, the movie about Mark Kerr,
the Smashing
Machine.
Oh.
By the way, it didn't get the love it deserves.
It's a really good movie.
It's not just an MMA movie.
It's a very realistic MMA movie, too.
It's like, really, he like, The Rock is Mark Kerr.
They even gave him like a forehead thing, like a prosthesis, so he looked more
like a Neanderthal,
like Mark Kerr does.
I thought he was going to get a nomination for that.
He gained 30 pounds of muscle, wore 22 prosthetics, and trained in MMA camp to
physically transform
for his role as Mark Kerr.
Look what he looked like.
Scroll up so you can see what he looked like.
Look what he looked like there.
That's Mark.
That's the actual Mark, and that's The Rock next to him.
But that's The Rock, obviously, playing Mark when he was younger.
Oh, is Mark Kerr still alive?
Yeah, yeah.
He did my podcast recently.
Oh.
Yeah, man.
That Smashing Machine documentary is crazy.
I thought The Rock was going to get a nomination for that.
He should have.
He should have.
He did a fantastic job, but nobody watched it.
It's one of those just slipped under.
If it comes out the streaming, I can't recommend it enough.
It's a really good movie, and it's not just an MMA movie.
It's like there's moments in that movie where you get anxiety, like, oh, my God,
don't do
that.
Jesus Christ, what are you doing?
It's one of those movies.
It's crazy, but he does a phenomenal job.
Phenomenal.
He hasn't not been nominated yet.
They haven't come out yet.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh.
Well, he should be for that.
I don't think he will get.
You know, it's hard.
The Academy.
He's doing a martial arts movie, and it's like, you know, it's for meatheads.
Jamie, I'm surprised you ain't got no sponsorships with a search app.
What do you mean?
What you mean?
You're literally known for looking shit up.
Well, they should call me.
Holla at your boy.
Let's wrap this bitch up.
Let's get it.
So, tell everybody, name your special, where they can get it.
Special is Live from the Mothership.
You can see it right now, streaming on Netflix.
You can also watch the Don't Tell thing just came out, and you can come see me
on tour,
BrianSimpsonComedy.com.
And my podcast, BS with Brian Simpson, also on YouTube and all the other
streaming platforms.
And I will see you in a few hours.
We're going to have some fun.
Tonight, let's go.
Alright, goodbye everybody.