#2093 - Sober October Crew


5 months ago




Ari Shaffir

67 appearances

Ari Shaffir is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. His latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube. www.arishaffir.com

Tom Segura

42 appearances

Tom Segura is a stand-up comic, actor, podcaster, and author. He co-hosts two podcasts, "Your Mom's House," with his wife, comic Christina Pazsitsky, and "Two Bears, One Cave," with comic Bert Kreischer. He's also the host of his own podcast, "Tom Segura en Español," and is the author of "I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays." Watch his latest special, "Tom Segura: Sledgehammer," on Netflix. www.ymhstudios.com

Bert Kreischer

36 appearances

Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comic, podcaster, and actor. He's the host of "The Bertcast" podcast and YouTube cooking program "Something's Burning." He's also the co-host of the "2 Bears, 1 Cave" podcast with fellow comedian Tom Segura. Watch his latest special, "Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle," on Netflix. www.bertbertbert.com

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1:46:00Bert brings out the cigars


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5mo ago

What cigars did bert bring?




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Episodes from 2024

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You wanted the picture? You wanted the picture? Dice Clay's, his Instagram is performance art. They don't appreciate it because performance art is snobby and You think like you have to be left leaning, you know liberal super fucking Progressive like that. That's the only way you can have performance art But no what Andrew Dice Clay is doing some of the best the funniest thing on his wild performance What about the head my hat the king's hat To the picture see that you're a fellow. You're talking about my goal worker. Oh no, if you wanted a picture, but you know, I see that. I see that. A picture. No, you wanted a picture with me? No. Yes? No, you wanted me to take you a picture. No, I told you. I'm just a super person. All right. I just said the king's hat and I haven't even worn it for years So many unsuspecting people first of all is even legal? Wait did you see the one with master legal? Do you see the one with mad Damon? No, no, he just got mad Damon He got mad Damon get mad Damon no, no, Damon's at the Damon. He got Matt Damon? Get Matt Damon. No, Matt Damon. No, he's not. Matt Damon's at the fucking airport. No. Having a beer and a burger. No. And he goes, I'm excited. He's gonna see it. It's so fucking bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so, and Matt Damon is the sweet LAX in Delta just having a burger in a beer like a regular fucking dude. He is just hanging out. You gotta find the beer. He seems like a very normal guy. But he's like, this is why I'm doing this. This is it. This is it. A couple interactions. I think that's fucking self-washed. This is gonna be a lounge. No, it's all on right With the glasses [2:13] Damon has no fucking idea No, here's the question is that legal sort of Is that legal you can just take some guy who's working in a poultry shop? Andrew dice close like he wanted to pitch He doesn't Corners a lot so like you're in public right and if you're in public you can be filmed Kind of wild and you can be filmed against your knowledge Yes, my favorite is when those young white kids do it to just black dudes, and then they're like, hey, did you want me to kiss me on the lips and the guy goes, now you talking to the wrong motherfucker. And he's like, in a second, and then he just jaws the dude and knocks him unconscious. And you're like, there's a bunch of those ego sideways that are stupid. I'll point you. There's a bunch thought out or there's the fart prank, you know, like there's people that do far elevators. No, the fart like in public, but they'll go to like the hood and [3:08] then like walk up where people are hanging out and then just fart and you see black people be like, I'm not. And like get up and like chase you. It's because it's like it's you're trying to elicit this. Do you remember? Yeah, it's super dangerous to do that. Yeah, it's very very dangerous Just because they don't know that you're doing it Yeah, they think you're a crazy person and they think they think they can't Stab they go if someone's that nuts they just get right in your face out of nowhere with some goofy thing to say Like you're doing the fart one. They think you're like you're coming over right? So we're people a fart yeah yeah yeah it doesn't go well no it's for a prank from my YouTube they're like who's yeah you just picked the wrong people and they just instantly go into violence did you see the fucking guy oh my god this is in Europe where his prank was he pours liquefied dog shit on people like uh... yeah yeah he just got arrested [4:07] so you're on the subway and he has a bucket on no dog shit that he's put in the bucket and put water and that dog is arrested yeah just kill him you know you were arrested for throwing bucket of poo on train past he's done it many times like that he's filming he's got to say a prankster was arrested oh fuck this is super insane throwing bucket of poo on train past. He's done it many times. Like, satis filming. He's got just a, oh my god. A prankster was arrested. Oh, fuck this guy. It's super insane. Oh my god. What a shit. Psychopath. Yeah. And then he's just like, what a psychopath. He just dumps a bucket of shit on this guy's back. Belgium. I've heard another's crap. Dead, yeah, you do that to the wrong person before you're in front of the truck any person That is so special. Yeah, there's a lot of people that is so crazy Dumped it on the guys neck. Yeah, I feel like water for a second. Then you got to realize oh Just shit all over your hours from home look at that little black chick going what? She's like I'm gonna be a prankster [5:06] It's insane. This is the most insane thing I've seen. What? But that is like he's not being charged with assault, bad, like you know. Well, I think it's like a bioterrorism too. There's something weird, like human shit falls into a weird category. Yes, fitting on someone is like, is almost like hitting them. He's like the half to some. There was a guy in New York who's rubbing shit in people's faces in the subways. Really? Yeah, just coming behind him with that pick up dog shit and then just rubbing on people and to Native Americans, he's adept at our heads and shit just to ensure that you'd be infected. Yeah. We got to care. Yeah. The poison people when you get hit. Right. Because immediately you're getting. Yeah. You're getting infected. They knew about that. Like shit is what caused all the plagues. Yeah. So it caused all the plague. We saw that guy that was shit in his hand. Tom and I have been offered out to Mark Cuban to rub shit on our faces for $1.75 million. His shit. We were shit on. You should rub it on your face. No, no. No, no. [6:00] No, now listen, we're hoping that Elon hears this and then ups the Annie. It says, Mark, if you shit on your face, I'll give another 1.75. But yeah, Tom and I, Tom's fans of this guy, they shit on his face. There's a guy that you're a fan of. Don't you love his face? Tom loves it. Yeah. There's this guy. He's surprised. He's like, this guy that will like, he'll do like a birthday wish naked he just stands there naked and then he flops his dick around But if you pay him more he'll shit in his hand You're not gonna believe this is actually worse when you see it. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad That's naked Martin My guess worse Joe you haven't one with the oranges I had a really hard time not growing up [7:03] There's multiple times I had to look away. Oh, geez. This guy looks like Old Joe. If you go to his naked mart Twitter, you might be able to find it. NakedMartin.co.uk, is that what it is? This for the folks at home. If you want to book a video, oh my God. This is Tosif. Tosif, you want to get yourself a video. But video but usually this gentleman is naked Martin. Yeah, Martin. It's naked Martin. That's a nice piece of it. It's naked Martin is just it's all about showing his hog which by the way is. No, by the way, hold on. I don't do that. Stop magic. He's magic. That's the reverse video. Yeah, that's the way that's a promo video I would have done it all. Can I just some fucking tickets? I just paused to point something out here. How wild is Twitter? Twitter. How can you get a full porn on Twitter? Twitter goes full porn. But no, but for some reason, that is like outside of the conversation when it comes to advertising boycotts. That's totally true. [8:01] Isn't that interesting? It's like they're saying if you allow certain kinds of conversations, we won't advertise. Is he gonna cover his glasses? Go back to the glasses. Go back to the glasses. Go back to the glasses. Oh my god. What are you gonna do with that? What are you gonna do with that? Are you making me wipe this out? Oh, don't wear it, Mark. Look, if stomach's puls bad. I do that this guy's gonna jerk off on food. I'm Joe I don't think the video's over If I know Martin, he's got another trick up that sleeve. Oh What are you gonna do Martin? I Oh That's why you make some big book I legit just wretched legit just wretched I almost lost it you got to find a smate Stop it faithfully Jamie please stop on your own Mind the face Put bring it back [9:00] Okay, but I wanted to ask you You've had like I remember you had Jack doors No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. Someone's playing catchers that kids in the park. Wait, hold on. So when you had like, back into the head jack, Dorsey on, you've had Zuckerberg on, and you've talked about censorship, like what gets police, cause it always gets like these big companies have, kind of inconsistence rules about what they do. Oh, if it's this and this could be misinformation or we don't know if we can verify. It never feels like, oh, that's the clear answer. But on Instagram, there's this thing where somebody could say something about whatever, a political candidate, maybe COVID and then people go like, that account is gone, right? Or it's like, yeah, but you and I have a text thread [10:04] that is pretty horrific. That is fueled only by Instagram. Yeah. And you're like, wait, why is all this okay? Tom and I every day, Tom and I every day send each other the most horrific shit we find on Instagram. Right. That's bad every day. It's bad. It's people getting run over by trains every day. It's people getting all by animals. What do they say? What's the problem? Shot. So, I can electrocuted, hit by lightning, dump trucks fall on top of them. It's so, I asked, so I actually ran into an engineer at Meta two days ago. And he was talking to me and I kind of like, was like, what's up with this? And he's like, yeah, there's just so many accounts. It's hard to, and I'm like, no. I go, these are accounts that have been up forever and they just have murders. Well, here, not only that, they just show up in my feed and I'm not following them. Oh, yeah, that's the algorithm. It's like, they have, he said two seconds. Watch that shit. He if you look at something for two seconds, that means they will start sending you home. So does the algorithm recognize [11:06] that you like car accidents? For sure, or that you're watching them. It's just saying this guy will watch the cars. It's not like, don't click on that because it'll lead to more. But my point is that that means that the algorithm recognizes what that video is. Right, so if the algorithm recognizes what that video is and it doesn't flag it then it can it could take it off if it Want it but if they wanted to just like not only like let the algorithm encourage you to watch it Yeah, but leave the videos up because the baseline goal of all those is keep you on the platform We should go back in our text thread like six months and see if any of those videos are still up I bet you a lot are. That would be wild. Cause some of the ones, there's so many war ones. There's so many ones of like drones dropping down on people and you're watching their legs blow off. I want to do this. I just started with sinkhole. Oh god, yeah, I saw four black tears falling [12:00] to a sinkhole. I thought like sinkholes are crazy. That's Florida. Sinkholes are crazy. Like one day your house can just fall into a bottomless pit. Yeah. At a nowhere. The earth collapses underneath where your structure is. A car in an intersection. Yeah. Swallowed up. Swallowed up. And you realize that like, who do you call? Do you think you're like, hey, I'm mad at the mayor. There's nothing you can do. It's the urge, just do it. Well, the reality is, asphalt is preposterous. It's a ridiculous idea. It fucks up erosion. It does so many things. It fucks up absorption of the water naturally into the ground. You're covering everything with rock. Yeah, you're gonna call your antifalter. And then underneath that, what's happening? What's happening underneath all that rock? I would imagine a lot of that water is moving around in there. And if it creates a nice little pocket and then you get the weight of all these buildings and then one day just, they just go under, dude. They've lost blocks. [13:00] Have you ever seen like those crazy giant sinkholes or like a whole block is falling into it? Yeah, I've been looking at giant sinkhole. That's not real. That's not real. That's not real No, that's Photoshop. Is that Photoshop? Yeah, you have to be look at it read the caption. Oh, no, it's real That might be after after imploded. No, man. It might be real. It's so deep though Yeah, like Jamie double check, but I think that one was real. They did a good job with the overhang. Look, if you're looking at the ground, you're thinking the ground. If you're looking down, right? You're thinking the ground. Wow, that's real. I think it's real, dude. That's real. That was the original 911. It's insane because it looks like a fucking UFO just went through the earth. It looks like a black hole went through the earth. It looks so perfectly cut. How lucky are you if you're the house on the corner that now has a beautiful view. So lucky. Bro, how much are you thinking about moving? How much are you thinking about moving? Hey, be careful coming out. [14:01] Be careful. Leave it. Almost a perfect circle. Yeah. That's so weird. I have to make you feel so like so small in the world I would like you just falling and falling away from there of course I would want to get the fuck away from that spot that spot might fall into the earth But it just makes you feel like you're so arrogant. Oh, oh the any of this is yours. The arrogance when the big waves were coming in to California like a month ago about, why drove the girls out to go look at the big waves? They were fucking massive, 20 feet. You know, it's really impressive. It sounds like thunder. And I like, I swept out by a wave. She got, there's a video of it, not bad. She's fine, But it's funny. There's it's all my Instagram. Oh, I'll swept out. I just, you can see it. It's not, she can get taken out to sea. She got overtaken by a wave. And it was, it's funny because it's very lighthearted. But then as, and I don't even think I handed it well as a parent, I was like, is your you filmed it in help. I filmed it and then said, your cell phone is your cell phone in your pocket. [15:06] And so, but what's crazy is the moment of clarity after that, where you go, hold on, we're not safe here. Like this is, oh, hang on, this is actually really dangerous. This is Isla. And she just, like she was just fucking around. And then, and it's like aggressive. Of course we're all laughing. She's far enough away where I'm not scared. Yeah, sort of, but if she's looked at further back, that's all coming back. But what I'm saying is that like, that's one of those, you know, 50 feet here, 50 feet there of things. Like if you fuck up and you're 50 feet in front of that and you think you can get away. I've had multiple ocean scares now. Like the ones where you're like... Crying on the beach. Well, just like in the moment, I keep telling myself don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. You know? And one I remember was in Hawaii where we rented a Jeep and we were like, we want to go see something. you know? So they tell you, I'll take this road [16:05] and it takes you to this single road that goes up where there used to be volcanoes and we come up on this beach. And they had mentioned the beach, but not really too much about it. And so when we parked, I was like, I love the ocean water, I'm gonna get in the ocean, you know? So I get in the ocean and I remember that going in, the beach into the water was a decline, right? So like you go down and I was just like knee deep in there about to and and I was like, man, this current is pulling back hard, like really hard. And I kind of take like a step back and I feel myself going further down a decline into the ocean. Right? And when I decided to get out, I have to really push hard, like all legs, like run, like you're running up a hill to get out and I was like, that was fucking, that was kind of scary. That was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like to the hotel they go I go yeah We took I go that that uh that beach was that was a little scary they go did you get in the water? [17:09] And I go yeah, and they go oh you can't get in that water like you'll drown in that water No one did you notice there was nobody swimming there? I got yeah No, and they don't tell you they didn't tell me they're like do not swim in that water They're like you can't swim out of They didn't tell me they're like, do not swim in that water. They're like, you can't swim out of that. If you would, like, they're like, if you would swim 10 feet in, they're like, you're just gone. Oh my God. And like the panic you feel, especially in retrospect, because you remember the feeling of being like, I think I'm stuck here. You know, I think I'm stuck right Really? Yeah, someone was drowning and Fitzimmons swam out and saved them really yeah, pretty sure it was Thailand Somewhere crazy like that. Yeah, it's on vacation. I'm not a made-up Thailand It doesn't look like a place for him to go Thailand and oh he would go he's a world friend He's a Hawaii guy. He surfs in Hawaii. Whatever it was. Fitzimmons went in the ocean and saved no shit [18:05] Yeah, I saw my dad save a lady Why you guy? He surfs and why? Wherever it was. What? Fitzimmon's went in the ocean and saved him. No shit. Yeah. I saw my dad save a lady. That's a scary thing. And the resort. It was at the bottom of the pool. Just laying at the bottom of the wall. Oh my god. And I was like nine years old. It was like father's son. He took me to the resort. where the water that comes off the slide, so in other words, when you hit the water, it's like high impact. Yes. Holy shit. And it pushes you down. I'm nine years old. So this is many years ago. And I remember I could swim. I was on swim team as a little kid, but I remember being like, fuck, that is powerful. It pushes you down, right? And you just swim up. we're all people are you know at the resort and Then look down and my dad Swims at the bottom of the out of the pool and pulls up this lifeless body and then they do CPR and she came back Yeah, and they would write letters to our house for years really she was 19. Oh my god [19:03] She's the guy. Oh my god. The snowboarder upside down when the random skier comes by Yes, she sees us. No board sticking this far out of the snow Is this the one where you know is buried under the snow? What the fuck he stops? They go the guys life randomly is this that is this separate? Have you seen the footage where the guys were in the GoPro? Right and then he's like, it falls into the denture like a hole? Yeah. That, you can, is visceral that feel. Oh my God. And then he's just like, we'll see what happens. Obviously he got out because there's footage. When you're watching that, you're like, oh my God, you could just fall in there forever. And apparently that's something that happens So this guy just falls and then watch this bro What I know birch feeling this no, I've had a couple experiences like this. I mean man. Just to stop himself What the fuck how the fuck do you get out of that how the fuck do you get out of that fuck the skis? It's over Joe, but no, he's that he's no no [20:03] They they had to I think I've read read about this They had to get search and rescue he had to hang out down there for a while search and rescue had to come up I'm thinking they're more the G-Bus tracker You see though. He's so lucky that he stopped right there, but the way he right here. He's not flailing He's like putting his arm and his ski out to try this like so this guy was able to keep some composure Which is like kind of the craziest part. Oh my God. So this is the snowboarder that's buried upside down. So this guy just sees that little blue piece. Bro, just random. This happened to me. Skate right over. Yeah, he easily couldn't make that. Yeah, could've gotten the other way. There's not much blue. tree wells, it's really soft, soft snow. So if you get stuck in a tree well, you are fucking dead. A lot of people die in tree wells. God damn. Yeah, I'm thinking of getting one of those GPS things. I won't be going. We went snowboarding in Madahorn, Helleskying, and the guy put a beacon on us. And the first thing he said, he puts a beacon, it's And he says this is so we can find the body And I was like what he's like you might fall on Kervas or an abalanch so we put the beacon on to find the body [21:14] That feeling this happened to me that feeling is terrifying this guys like thank you He's panic the panic. No, okay? He was panic. The panic? I feel panic watching this. The panic, so what happens is, like what happened to me and when we were hellesking is I fell face forward in powder. I just, I never, snowboarding in powder, four feet of powder is very different than snowboarding. It's like you have to have your bindings reset, you have to really know how to ride the powder and I could not turn right and the guys hold me is like don't go within Five feet of my tracks stay within my tracks. So the whole time I can only turn left I'm at the time. I really wasn't that could have a snowboarder and I but I could snowboard but not powder and so he's going like this And all I can do is go left and I'm just going off the track [22:02] Oh, no, and I'm fucking panicking. By the way, we're at like 13,000 feet, 14,000 feet. It's very little oxygen. I'm gassed, I'm fat, I'm hungover. It's the day after the National Championship that we went to. So we had the netables. It was like... It was the day after that. It was the day after that. I flew to fucking... I flew to Switzerland and immediately landed and went Helleskine. I don't remember that. And so, no, no, no, when we went to Florida State versus Alabama, 2013. 2013. So, all of a sudden I go to turn, cut, right, and I catch my nose, and I fucking go face for it's in the snow. And at first I'm like, fine. I push my arms in, and they just do not touch anything. It just goes like this. And now, snows impacted on my face, so I can't really breathe. And I'm, first of all, I do a panic, but panic kick kicks in immediately. And I'm like, this is why I have the fucking beacon on. And so I try to clear the snow out of my face, but I'm like pulling all the muscles in my back, [23:01] trying to turn over. And then the guy just comes up behind me, grabs me on the back, flips me over, and he goes, you should see a sound guy. My sound guy's upside down, ski's kicking, upside down in the snow. And we just got the fuck out. We got on a helicopter and got the fuck out. I was like, this isn't safe. Yeah, I'm not interested in any of that nonsense. That's all you about my last ski experience. I only used to ski with my family. You, this resonates every time I go skiing because you go, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. He always says that. He always says that. When I would go skiing because they wanted to go skiing and I would be like, this is fun. It's good for kids to learn early because they're really good at it and my wife likes it. But I would be like don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt, didn't get hurt. Back up, don't get hurt, don't get hurt, don't get hurt, didn't get hurt. Good. So all I'm doing is mitigating risk. The entire time I'm skiing. Cause I've had fucking three knee operations. I really know what it's like to blow your shit apart. And they're like naive to how vulnerable your knees are and kids are fucking rubber. They just fucking bounce off rocks and they're fine. [24:09] They fall down. They only weigh 80 pounds. They fall down to get right back up. Right back up. But so this last time I was going around this turn and this lady didn't know how to ski and it looked like she was just a fresh beginner and she was like doing the pizza thing but she was sliding right into the trail. And it's a narrow trail. And I'm like, I have two options. I'm wiping this lady out, or I'm gonna catastrophically fall down. I went with option two. And I fucking tried to slide around this lady, and my skis went up in the air, and I banged the back of my head hard. Oh, fuck. And I fractured my leg. Hell no, really? Yeah, it's called an insufficiency fracture. It's a fracture at the top of the fibula, or the tibia rather, where the tibia, like, touches the cartilage. I had a fracture. [25:00] And I was 100% concussed. Wow. Because I got on. Like, hold on. Excuse me? Hell mate. Yeah, hell mate on it. But it didn't matter. It was a hard snow head first. Bam. And I remember thinking like, wow, that was a big one. I remember thinking that like when I got hit, I was like, that's a big one. And I got on the ski lift afterwards and I just miscalculated like I wasn't coordinated and I fell down and I couldn't get up What like I couldn't get up with without help the lady had to help me get up Should have reached out and grabbed my hand and because of the concussion 100% yeah, wow 100% so I'm I'm just Dizzy I'm off how long ago is this a Couple years ago. It was more than that. It was more than that. It was pretty pandemic. Joe, I think about this every time I go fucking snow was three years ago. No, I think it was three years ago after pandemic. Yeah, I think it was during pandemic. I know people start seeing again. It was definitely more. I don't think so. Joe, this story resonates. Maybe so I think it at the most it's four years old But I was like what did we go? [26:06] That's just and then Shane Dorian tore his fucking Neaport world champion big wave surfer tears is Neaport snowboarding Just slammed into a tree and they got a ski folks I was skiing. I was skiing. You don't like snowboarding? Oh no, no, no, no. Let me share the story of skiing with Ari Schaffer. So first of all, Ari gets this app that tracks how fast you're going. So the entire ski trip is based on how fast you're going to get it. And Ari's like, I think I got up to 70. I feel like I can break 75. I've got to. Yeah. So we go our last run in there's on it's a blue. Park City. And Ari is absolutely reckless off trail. Well, because I'm better than me. I'm trying to, I was like, let's race and I'm like, go. And I just got the one second head start. So we got Sean Patton, Mark Norman, O'Neal, [27:00] a nice easy loser. Yeah. uh... renese is a loser and we're all just all we're doing is skiing to a bar okay we're all gonna go get drunk a ski to a bar i just hear arey fucking basketball he's dressed as a guy fucking thirteen year old basketball jersey fucking he's got the fighting horn helmet on like a fucking lunatic this isn't that's my match that's why that's my manager's either and look at like i miss what pants over the chair. And so Ari, I'm a damn faries worth the top of the mountain. He's like, let's see how fast we can go before you get to the bar. And I was like, I'm on a snowboard. The fastest I'm getting is 37 miles per hour. That's the fastest I'm going. And I'm terrified because I hear you in my head going, it's not Decides to break the sound barrier pins his feet together and like a goddamn bullet starts fucking flying Literally feet in front of the bar wipes out and breaks his wrist no board it turned back too fast He was making nice wide look your wrist and then he like made his sharp one flew yeah demolished it Constructed. Yeah, it was a pin in there really yeah [28:03] And all I heard was Joe Rogan is not worth it We killed our heroes. I was going pretty fast. I was winning. I thought O'Neill was right behind me He had stopped immediately you have to think about it this way for this momentary thrill of adrenaline and excitement You potentially risk a life of Catastrophic it's every time I come on this podcast I potentially risk a life of catastrophic. That's every time I come on this podcast. No. No. I get it. Look, I get it because life is finite. I get it. You want to live and experience everything you want. But I believe you should mitigate risk. And I believe people are drawn to examples. Yeah, but I'm telling you, I mitigate risk. The risk of skiing to me is like that one is like there's too many variables What do you think the most dangerous? around you do well when I'm training and I'm not doing jiu jitsu right now, but that's for sure the most Because of the potential damn car. Yeah, you're practicing strangling each other [29:04] Yeah, and you're doing it with people are really good at strangling people Yeah, I love seeing so much grabbing your legs and yanking them apart. Yeah, it's this last trip was a last time I was a sking as a fact as a less pack as a sober person less I posted I didn't I did a weird thing this year. I didn't post any videos. I didn't record anything I just hadn't lived. I just lived. Wow. My girls loved it. They were like, this is great. We're not on Instagram for fucking people to see. But I and I wasn't drinking and I was and I was skinny. And I was like, I said, the only thing I recorded was I want to show you my favorite trick. I could touch my foot. I could never touch my foot, snowboarding. So getting my bindings on was so fucking tough. So I know you know, the way that was in the way and it was so uncomfortable. You were on stage Tuesday night. I was like, you're too jacked. You're too jacked to take your shirt off now. You look great. It's not funny anymore. It is. I can't. You know there are people that really believe that. Yeah. There are people that really believe it. Oh, no, listen, you're not funny. You're like that. [30:05] The freedom of you being you is you taking your shirt off. If you're freedom of you being you and now you no longer have a gut and you've got jacked shoulders, you've got traps and shit, it's like that's a celebration of still who you are. Also, you're still f. I'm still fat. He got so fat that he lost weight. I was like, that's amazing. When he started playing the fat guy, playing the fat guy. Playing the fat guy. You mean when Tom started fat shaming me? Yes. When Tom was better than me and decided to start fat shaming me. I not evenly thought that when we did the first challenge, like you'd like stay on that path. You got so skinny. I didn't care. I didn't care. You have to, you have to want to do it. November first. I tell you right now, sober October was an interesting experiment, but I will tell you having done like three months or whatever I did, that one month is, and you, and the big difference is I stopped drinking on planes because I wasn't not drinking on a plane [31:06] because of you three assholes. Like I was not drinking because of you guys. And then when you're not drinking, and you go, I'm not drinking for me, it's very fucking different. And then that was then I got really comfortable on planes and I was like, oh, I can get through this. I can't scientists, just make up booze that doesn't kill you. Yeah, can't you fucking Out there has to be there has to make a booze that doesn't kill you To if you can make synthetic marijuana and turn into pills There's gotta be a way to take whatever the fuck it is that alcohol does good Yeah, it gives you that fun sparkle here for the fun so far so fucking cool the buzzed smile right it's got to be boys yeah it's watching over you the sun sets and the day goes away and just like in a [32:00] good mood you get that buzz you write it nice meal like how many times we had meals on the road Well, we're having a couple of drinks. We're eating a nice roll. It goes. We're talking and we're laughing Lubricant and join ourselves God damn it's the best. It's the best such a fucking tool the potion Dude I was doing the Wilbur I'll do it again this weekend, but she asked a bloom rush stars I just say ours. If you're gonna be at the Wilbur in Boston this weekend Thursday and Friday Funny I thought you were in Cheyenne Wyoming next week. How many shows? Is that you? Two Saturday once one Friday through Friday one Thursday. Oh shit You're not gonna be at Lanark City Hardrock No, who's that wait I saw no no I'm not gonna be in that line of city. Oh, fuck me. You're not gonna be in that Atlantic city hard rock? No, who's that when I saw that? Oh no, no, I'm there in the somehow, I did that when I saw it. I did it when Joey and Tony was fine. You know what, Joey told me he goes, first of all he goes, if I see you wearing those glasses, I'm gonna Hawaii. I'm like, what? Like a happy new year. And he's like, you got to take those off. I go, I need them to see though. [33:09] I put them on to see. No, he goes, can't be those. I go, why? He goes, fucking, we're doing the news. And I go, no, I just, that's when people read, I go, well,. Am I allowed, can I wear another pair of glasses that are approved? And he's like, he goes, yeah. He goes, but he can't be those. And I go, okay. And then he goes, he takes his buddy Holly over here. Yeah, he goes, I'll see you in two weeks. And I go, where are you gonna see me in goes, I noticed the last time you went to Jersey, you didn't give me a call, you were hanging out with your white friends. I go, I go, I go. He goes, don't think I forgot, you're fucking Hispanic. You give me a call every time you come to Jersey. I go, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Is the king of New Jersey? [34:00] Yeah. Joey's open to a residency here in Austin. Yeah, we're talking about doing it once a month Joey will come down for like three days. Great. That'd be great Yeah, Joey and I should get a house together. I'm here for three days dude. He he loosened up On the podcast like like having a podcast with Joey like you forget You forget like what that dude is I don't what a special unicorn here he is I told I've said this is a unicorn there's no one even remotely like him he was there when already drugged me he came and said my life he came he came he came he's this is this guy I just don't know I was having so the other mom no he no this is the best Joey the story he goes I call him up I'm having a panic attack I go Joey, Joey, I already just drugged me. He's like, I'll be there in five cock suckers. Walks through the house, he goes, Mrs. K, don't come out back. Bad shit's happening out there. Come on, come on, come on. What's going on, cock suck you die I die we're all dying [35:11] He's the fucking back. We're all see the devil's dick tonight. He's the best He's funny human being. I'm like a house with Joey in a heartbeat. Yeah, well, I think that's one of the ways to do it I think I's one of the ways to do it. I think the comedy condo. Make it up. You can go on the religion, but I'm thinking about that. I've been thinking about that anyway because I've been thinking about doing a studio in downtown Austin with a view. Because there's a lot of departments that have a view. And if you could do a studio in an apartment out there, you could have nighttime podcasts right after doing a comic. A comic trucker. A comic trucker. So you do a show at the comic, just like we do at the ice house. I know, yeah. So you do a show at the mother ship and then go straight up to the condo, which is like three minutes away. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, it makes sense, right? I'm gonna solve this. And after doing now, I think seven sets in this couple days at your club. I think that's a horrible idea. The amount of freedom that is at your club. [36:05] The amount of free speech at your club is so dangerous. Yesterday I went up and I was like, wait, I didn't realize I can say anything I want. You should have seen his face light up. I was like, what are those bags I know? I was like, wow, Shane Gillis is really taking some chances. And then how communism's good. Yeah. Yeah. Paul Bob was a god. And so I got up, I was hosting and then did an hour at the end of the, when we did like three hours at the end of the show. It takes a whole long time together. Wild shit. And if I didn't realize you can say whatever you want, you really can just take chances. Yeah. So I felt like I wasn't doing my due diligence as a comic. So I wrote the worst joke I could think of. Like just insider joke, just like a... I was just... And it did well and I was like, fuck, this is crazy. You want to take that energy up to that studio and do a podcast? And then I get off your thing and I'm talking wild and then I go up to yours and I'm like, you know what about Hitler? Here's the deal. His dad wasn't a bad guy. He got him from good people. [37:05] Because he was a beekeeper. You know that, Joe, you interviewed a beekeeper? I did interview a beekeeper. And basically interviewed almost every walk of life. Thank you. Yeah, how many episodes have you done now? 2001. Wow. Wow. 2093. Yeah, and then there's the fight companions, which is like a hundred and how many of those? 60 to 70 of those in one of those Yeah, so that's another 200 What's your worst one? I don't think I have a lot of bad ones. Oh wow we can go around and nail our stinkers I know early ones definitely I sucked at it. No you didn't that's when it was wild as well I think the only ones definitely, I sucked at it. No, you didn't. That's when it was wild as well. You got nobody on you. You just put, but if you're having conversations with people, you're not good at facilitating the conversation, especially if you're talking to a scientist and you're trying to get as much information into as many people's minds as possible. So if there's any confusion about what they're saying, [38:01] you have to know when to interrupt them or when to lay back and when to you got a bookmark Like I thought like I don't want to interrupt But I got a bookmark this because I got to understand what do you mean exactly? Yeah, you're gonna say that way wait I wasn't clear to make you say that I can make that clear to me I'm sure you can't pretend you understand something if you don't you know you have to you have to just like You're almost like like a cattle herder, a little bit for the conversation. You're just kind of trying to keep the conversation. You're trying to let it flow as much as possible, but you're also trying to like, you have to interact with it, like, say if to figure out, like what am I not absorbing about this? Do you feel like there's somebody looking back that you understood the least? In other words, you were were like fuck. I don't get what is going on no matter how hard I Simulation theory is the big one Because I have this conversation with what what is what was that gentleman? Remember we had a lot he was That was hoping it was a subtle doubt understand it's like swimming [39:03] It's about probability theory understand. It's about probability theory. Probably. Yeah. So what his argument was was like simulation theory. Nick Foster. That's it. Thank you. He's brilliant. Brilliant guy. But when when we're having this conversation, he was in he was talking about simulation theory and saying that simulation theory, the idea that this whole thing we're experiencing is just a simulation. Because of probability theory, the idea that this whole thing we're experiencing is just a simulation. Because of probability theory, because of the probability of extraterrestrial civilizations, just give the amount of planets that are out there, the amount of time that has gone on, this is an inevitable thing that's going to happen and that it's probably already happened. That it's probable that this is a simulation? If it's not, it's going to happen and it probably already has. The idea through the first run of your... If you're a real expert, Salute. Oh, it's finished it. I know I'm butchering this, but the, I believe the concept in layman's terms is that [40:00] given the sheer number of planets that probably have intelligent life and given the amount of time if they can develop technologies Given the sheer number of planets that probably have intelligent life and Given the amount of time if they can develop technologies to the point where we have and then further on to the point where you literally create Some sort of a simulation that all time and all experiences exist in and that this was something that was possible through technology eventually. And if you look at all these planets, you look at the direction that human beings are going, you look at how far our technology's progressed in a relatively short period of time. It's inevitable, give it a thousand years, 10,000 years from now, if we don't blow the earth up, we will have a simulation theory that's indesernable from the reality you're experiencing right now. And that may be how life is experienced sometime in the future when we integrate with computers. That might be like one step into that integration. Wow. So yeah, having that conversation is like what? [41:00] That also gives you, I think you might have a better perspective than people when you try to, when you really break down how brilliant some people are, like the scale. Do you know what I mean? We're all of moderate intelligence and you go like, you can understand these things, like I can have this conversation with you. No, no. And then you know, you meet people who are notably not there, and then people who are existing on it. Yeah, you keep looking at your child. Yeah. And you go, wow, those people are really operating on another wavelength, right? Somebody's like them. Like it's just like athletes. Athletic, I was about to say, it's like athletic ability. Some people who you go go holy shit. You look 40 and it's vertical. Yeah, like just dunk it. Yeah, what? Well, there's some people that are just, I mean, we've all met guys that don't even work out and they're just ridiculously strong. Yeah, they just have superior genetics. Okay, you know, there's a lot of folks like that that are just country strong. The guy that'll do the Tomahawk dunk in jeans and you're like, what the fuck's up? It was even workout. You got Cam Hayes' children run marathons in jeans. [42:10] They're different people. Yeah, and his other sons are Ranger. Yeah, I mean, different humans. That D1 body, where you're like, this is different. Well, Cam's dad was an athlete too. Really? Yeah. His book is amazing. I think Cam's dad was an athlete too really hard runner his book is amazing I think cam's what's he a jumper? I what did he do? He was a lot of us. He was like a very high level athlete his father was cam's modest to shit about it So modest. Yeah, he's like you're like how the fuck he like well, you know, you just gotta you know what man that guy He's tired You know what man that guy is tired But I mean that's why he's like so chill. Yeah, he's conserving energy knows this run 18 miles in the morning sleeps like a baby though I bet he sleeps like a brick. I think he's Christian. So then he doesn't worry about death Yeah, he shoes have you run with his shoes? [43:03] Those shoes are great I wanted to put a toast out or a post out today because they're that good. Oh, they're great. They're actually, they look cool. They look cool. So Cam was sponsored for a long time by Oner Armor. And then he went for a second, tried out Solomon. And then he said, who develops technology in the shit that makes him comfortable, this shoe is amazing. These bowel aces keep your heel in place. Blood splatter on it. Yeah, that's blood. That's blood. You can say it's mud, but it's red. Shut the fuck up. You know what that is. I love that Tom's pouring a drink. This is the time I love their dope sneakers and they're super comfortable. They're amazing and the thing about so the thing about Planner fasciitis and a lot of people have is your foot moves around in your shoe Laces do that but with cam shoe those boa things lock your heel in and I've been running every single day No planter fasciitis and it's they're very fucking comfortable. Yeah, they're great [44:01] You know, I think planter fasciitis probably is a a lot about foot strength and foot endurance, isn't it? I used to have it. I think so. Like you just go too far. Everybody also like the PTs will tell you that a lot of that Originates from your big toes movement though. Really if you start if you start the because you can feel Planner fasciitis Starting a lot of times you're like, oh, this is starting to get uncomfortable. It's not full blown in the mornings. And they'll tell you to train your big toe to work on strength through big toe. People move to the York get it because you're walking constantly. Yeah. You guys walk so much. And then it's just like, what the fuck's my heel? Do you remember when you told me to get rolved from our planter fashionitis? Yeah. What does that mean? We just come out of a do disaster. Hey, no that's that's that's naked mark Don't you know show going on to the internet? This is felching the whole world is gonna listen to show How many fucking people are gonna book a video? With that guy right now. Oh so many I hope he's rich right now order. Oh, they are gonna be rich You know, but in a perfect world he would be rich. Yeah, that's an oddity. Like if you're gonna go that far, for a service, you deserve money. [45:06] That's the only fans I'm sorry. That guy ate his own shit covered in gum. And we watched. It did eat a pause. And he smiled. And he smiled and I. He hosted Fear Factor for six years. I almost threw up. I can't say. From watching that screen. We're What's the present? You'll see. It'll be in the group thread. That feeling of a... That's such a horrible film. It's like... You know of it. It's a whole thing. Oh, I do. For real? Hold on. Yeah. Here's what's fascinating. I lost it when I was filming Fear Factor. Nothing can make me puke. The... Desensitize. Completely desensitized. Before I was the kid in high school that like if you threw up in the hallway, I would throw up. I do. You like you smell throw up, you like, that's a YMH stretch. Yeah, yeah. That's a YMH stretch. [46:01] Yeah. The way I made it, right? That is what it is. I think that's evolutionary. I think that when you smell, smell throw up, no, no, no. It's letting you know that someone around you has consumed something that's bad. And that you should purge too. So it's like a survival instinct. It's a protective instinct. It's not a weakness to wanna throw up when you smell throw up It's actually a strength. So what happens when people cry and I cry too. That's good too because you're commiserating you're showing your good person I Christ. Oh, yeah, sweet art really because he's supposed to weed more Yeah, well weed weed is really beautiful. We look at your cry. It allows you to appreciate you an emotional guy I get I cried the other day on our podcast. You did he's grown tits. Nobody cries more on pocket. Not me anymore. He cries. I cry a lot. I regret a couple cries. Yeah, shulses. I regret that one. You cried on shulses podcast? Of course. Would you cry about fucking nothing? Bambi. No, he's tough. No, I'm marketing. I think you're gonna see Mark. I'm marketing. No, he brought out a clown and some balloons [47:06] and it fucking fucks me out. The phone and balloons made you cry. No, no, no, no, no. It gave me a panic attack. What? Yeah, I don't like clowns. You should make an hour just fucking with your shoulder. Hold the fuck on. Hold the fuck up. How about you, I let's it in. Yeah, I let's it in. It's like, what? What? Yeah. For real? Sholes gave me the opportunity to not, don't play it. Don't play it. Don't play it. There's no reason to play it. Okay. No, you have a real issue with clowns and then you became one. Technically, isn know, crazy. Yeah. I have a real issue with clowns and a real real issue with balloons. Like if I smell balloons, I fucking freak out. They freak me out. Wasn't there a Jerry Lewis movie that was never released where he was like a clown in the Holocaust? What? Really? [48:00] No. Like a beautiful no. Patch is the clown. Patch is the clown. Patch out. That was no. It was Robin no well no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no There's some weird Jerry Lewis movie that never got released. Oh, that's weird. Long buried Holocaust movie. The day the clown cried may finally be viewable one year today. So they buried it? Yeah, they buried it. It's like a movie. Like what? This is this thing that's going to be available to you at one place. Hey everybody, get me up in! One of few people have seen even a rough cut of the film coming in voice over artist Harry Sheer of The Simpsons told spy magazines in 1992 that the movie is so drastically wrong. It's pathos and it's comedy are so wildly misplaced that you could not in your fantasy of what it might be like [49:03] and prove on what it really is. Oh my God That's all you can say this movie was so bad. I want to see so bad. They buried it forever Holy shit. Oh wow they buried it forever and when did this movie get released? 72 so this is a movie from 1972 that was so bad that never saw the light they put it in a vault in the bottom of the earth. I've paid it, I've paid it. I want to see it. I want to see it. I want to see it. Even if it's bad, I want to see it. I want to see it more than I want to listen to that. We'll take out part of that. Martin Scroo-Low. Big J has it. That's the other guy. That Yeah, they went on Legion of Skanks. It's one of the most frustrating episodes to listen to because it's Legion of Skanks and you have Martin Scrily and Shane Gillis is grilling him. And then, but you got Legion of Skanks being Legion of Skanks. They don't really care about the information. They just want to fuck and talk about whatever yet come and everything. But Martin Scrily said, I have the album you want it and all of them are like fuck yes. So how do you give it to them? Jay's the same way you got your thing. [50:05] You have it in what form? Like just sent them in the end of the year. In P3. Not in Hots. So the Nets out on the internet? No, no, Legion of Skanks didn't know whenever I shared it. Wait a minute. So what's Martin doing with it? He bought it. I had some good information where he was like, you know what he was like, got the thing for the AIDS. It's so interesting. And he goes, he's jacking the price. He goes, you know what, no one ever said? There's also a generic version of the same drug. For $40 bucks. I don't know why he's mad at me. I mean, it's like Viagra versus whatever the fuck. But wait, you can hear it? No, no, no, no, no, no, of the AIDS medication. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like, wait, is it without Risa? Well, hey, this is a real conversation, but this is a real conversation because with AI, [51:06] they're gonna do that. You're gonna make new versions of Wu Tang songs. I keep it. They already did it with Drake. I think that the thing too is, you know how they go, oh, likeness and like the stars. Like, hey, you know, I wanna, this movie's without Tom Cruise will be like, no, you cannot use my likeness. I'm protecting it. That's like what some of this labor union stuff is about protecting your image and likeness. Yes, but I just feel like there's, you know, there's just gonna be one of these offers to one of these people where they go. Okay, go for it. Right, like it's going to be. It's going to be. Oh, Bruce Willis has a neurological condition. Yes, I forget what it's called. It's called aphasia. Aphasia, I think I might have. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're talking about it, not so. You just bring it back to yourself? You're talking about birth. I can't look at a post and not think about me. He's a, I could think of Bruce Willis sold. Bruce Willis sold his likeness. likeliness like this so you can like this sorry for the purpose of AI he did yes [52:11] Thank you mean but in his position I mean he's incapable of making money anymore he has a real issue Yeah, it's actually very advanced and they think this is toward the we're at the close to the end. Oh my god Yeah, I follow his daughter, Taluila. So no Bruce Willis didn't sell his likeness to a deep fake company. Despite initial reports, the deep fake company does not own the rights to Bruce Willis' likeness. Partially because that's literally not possible. The company said Willis appeared in a recent advertisement through Deep Cake, which managed to create a digital twin of Willis that can appear in new content despite the actual Willis retiring from acting as a result of aphasia. A brain disorder that hinders cognition and speech abilities. I like the precision of my character Willis set of the process, according to the quote, [53:00] Deep Cake website. It's a great opportunity for me to go back in time. The neural network was trained on content of die hard and fifth element. So my character is similar to the images of that time. So it's young Bruce Will is doing ads. I sent you guys. That's what they're saying. I sent you guys George Carlin's new special. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But hold on a second. That seems like that is what we're saying. Yeah. It feels like this is and also this is literal phase one of the, yeah, a list celebrity being like you can use it for this. Sure. But like, Barbara's pricing gets to be a certain age. Right. We're Trump's president again. Yeah, she might say, you know what? For just $1 million dollars before. Exactly. And also what about the people who it's not a major movie making it just some YouTube account? Oh, when happens to 10 people? You know, what happens like to their estate? To their estate. Their estate. It would have the estate decides to the Maryland or [54:01] O.A. Yeah. This is the George Carlin one that came out a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. How many views? It says change the cover. Center 500K. It keeps getting pulled down. It goes really? It keeps getting pulled down. Yeah, because George Carlin's daughter Kelly, I think, keeps it doesn't want it up. Oh, I disagree with that. This is put on a YouTube account called Doodzie. Doodzie says I'm a comedy AI. They wrote this as though Doodzie made it, if you will. When you look at what Doodzie is, Doodzie's account on my bill. It's Will Saso, but they have an AI. That's where it becomes like how would Will Saso have this super secret AI? We'll probably be able to do how would Will Sassos have this super secret AI in programming? Hold on, Will Sassos has a podcast, if I'm not mistaken, where he has AI bring up the subjects of the podcast, and that's what they talk about, theoretically thinking this will, based on research, be one of the best podcasts out there. Well, there's a podcast on it. Let's click on that search code. [55:01] Resurrected. That's what George Crowe resurrected. That's what this is. So that's what I'm trying to say. It's like when I was looking into like, what is this George Crowe thing? It's on this account that they call Doodsy and they're saying like Doodsy made this. Oh, so they made it through AI. It's most likely like that Kanye song we play with Tony where someone wrote in the, in the like work and how George Crowe went right and then performed at all and then got George Collins voice to go over top of that well it's like a first of his voice no wait a minute so i didn't write the jokes no i heard a i wrote the jokes that's of that's top that's what becomes very do you think you're saying that he that i didn't write the jokes in this case i don't know but it seems a lot more like the fake thing like the Drake song and the Kanye song where it's not a hundred percent done by AI. What you're hearing is like an AI doing a deep fake video like. And he was right. I would write it. And that case it was the rapper who wrote the rap song. In this case, it's probably comedians who know how to write like. On Skate this week, they played AI versions of their standups to this to the soda, J, Lewis, Dave, and one other guy forget guy forgot and they were like here's your AI [56:06] version of your stand-up and they just played it for them and they all broke it down. How was it? They said there's a lot of fun. It's hard to be worse. Yeah, butterly. Yeah, it's hopefully it's not amazing. I feel like we're joking around about the first rain shower that comes before the torrential flood that caused. I think it's going to get bad. It's going to be a new world. Like the world is going to be built in a very hazy way. All this stuff about AI, everybody, like we all thought it's scary and you see, you know, I understand why writers were like, writers guild was like really concerned about this. And they're concerned by version one dude, like this just started. And this magic of the next first fucking iPhone. [57:00] And you're like, also, it's gonna get rid of a lot of shitty writers. That's a big ride back to you stop still All those Hagen TV shows make something All those people keep making the same cop show over and over and get the fuck out Doing Mr. Mrs. Smith But what do you think? It'll replace a lot of low level basic shit And you'll lose a lot of great ones You still need your Christopher Nolan to write yourself Christopher Nolan had to be a shitty writer first 100% You to be a shitty writer first. 100%. You got to be a shitty writer first to become Christopher Nolan. Yeah, you got to be, unless you're some wizard that comes out of the room. Charles Gough and Charlie Colvin. But that's very rare, very rare. The only thing I think that would be beneficial is be great. If I could do my podcast with AI and then type in, yo, can you take all the knowing parts of me out of there like when I talk over you or I talk like I would love Not talk over people. I don't need a kind of robot. It's kind of fucking tough. You don't need a robot I finally I told you I so Bert has this thing where anybody Anybody with any level of celebrity? He fucking geeks out [58:04] Like a tick-tock. Oh, I like it stuff. It's so embarrassing. Like a TikTok. Oh, I like this stuff. He's like, I'm the biggest fan. Oh my god, I saw the video. Oh my god, I'm the biggest fan. I love you so much. I saw the thing. And then he goes, and then he waits to tell them about him. He's like, he tells me his resume. For a do you have imposter syndrome? Of course. I didn't say I don't. Okay, yeah, of course I'm upset. Why is this so aggressive? No Chris, I'm very aggressive, right? I'm sorry. My answer was fairly calm, right? No, but in Poster Syndrome, I was trying to find out what he was feeling. Imposter Syndrome has been loaded as like a slur, as like... I don't think it's a slur at all. I have it. It's a slur No, no, I don't think it comes. I think in post-Sendroam is a sign of an introspective person who's trying to navigate a very bizarre situation. I think it's completely 100% natural and normal. And if you didn't have it, again, like what you said, I would be curious. And then I think it comes in waves, like there's days when I'm getting on. Yeah, what am I getting on? Yeah, but the whole reason I brought you up doing that because you're you're ridiculous with it like you I'm really do it to everyone [59:07] I didn't do it to Joe. Oh, I did it Joe, but you told me you didn't know it to me. Yeah, I didn't see it Oh Joe when I met you was that your front door I Already zillowed how much you paid for your house Fucking said you I said you real quick. I said hey man, I'm such a big fan. I need to meet your dog. I need to see your deprivation tank. I want to play pool and I'm gonna get high and then we can do the podcast. And you were very generous. You're like, cool. I remember you walked me in your door, you said, hey man, if you stand on this thing and you work out it. We saw John, Johnny Cash. You say, you told me like, oh, we just got this property, so the dog's be out there. I can't really have them, we got the kids. Come on, we'll go out back, I'll show you the swings that we'll get high. We got high and then we did the podcast and I was like, man, that is the, guy, like he's cool as fuck. And then we did the podcast, I had a fucking blast. [1:00:06] And I remember going home, going like, man, I don't wanna say this out loud, but I was like, I wanna be like that guy. Like I wanna be like that guy, like cool as fuck. And real, I remember, little things in my life where I've pinpointed things in your life where I go, oh, I got a thing Joe had your closet was a fucking mess. There were dildos or not dildos. There was flashlights everywhere. And you had flashlights. So much sponsor we had, we would give flashlights away. Sure, if you could get the early. Hey, do you want to fuck this? You can go home. And you're out there and be like, hey, you fucking pussy. Feels great. But I remember the game is a fucking, I had a perverts box. Yeah, a large large box like like that. That's a large. That's the only in Boston. I got the alien butthole blue one. But you I remember you had so much stuff in there and you had this generosity go yeah grab whatever you want, man, it's all stuff from people that want me to check it out. [1:01:01] And I remember I took a bunch of vitamins. I like grab shit. I was, I wasn't poor, but I was like free stuff. And I grabbed a bunch of shit and went home and I was like, but I look at life and when you talk about a posture syndrome, I highlight, we talked about the other day, I highlight cool people and I kinda wanna be like them because I go, man, I wanna be a better person, you know? Like, but he does this. He's like I met lead singer of you know, Wilcox humiliated myself I humiliated myself I humiliated myself he just tells him how much he loves that and then he's like have you seen my stuff? He tells me he tells me Oh yeah I'm going to draw Martin. How'd you be here? Meta buffet? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I clocked him like three times three times Thursday night Friday night Saturday night [1:02:05] You want to and then Sunday night? Yeah, there's us Sunday night I fucking I couldn't control myself man. I was a junkie I was like the way a pedophile must feel when he sees good ride to like best part is Shut up You shut up, you shut up, you shut the fuck up, Tom. Stop, stop. George reveals things about the show that like nobody knows. And then when they leave, Leanne's like, can you believe he told you all that? And he's like, told us what? He's like, wait, told you all like those insights, like secrets about game of Thrones. And he's like, what secrets? And then he's like, I just wasn't listening because I wanted to talk. He's like a coke head. He's waiting to talk. He told me secrets about right. He just embraced this aspect of yourself. It seems like it. It don't like it. It makes you angry when it comes out. You get upset at yourself. But yet you also embrace it. It's so gross though. It's so gross. It's like you're playing [1:03:02] you're playing tic-tac-toe against yourself. You're on that. But here's the thing, I wanted to confess to you, because you told me that you admired the way that I am around celebrities. I love it. I love it. I want to be that. You're the guy in an orgy. You're the guy in the porn who's jerking off before he fucks her. But I'm the guy in the porn going down through the worst analogy. Literally, that one makes no sense. No one's like, no one listened to that. It was like, yeah, I can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good call. That's a good call. But here's the thing. What I told him was the truth, which was that I would say 90% of the time when I meet a famous person, I don't care that I'm meeting them. In other words, I'm just like, yeah, all right, what's up, how you doing? So it looks like I'm being cool or a little, but I just don't give a shit. He really genuinely does not care. He really does not care. Right, because if you go, like, hey, this is the guy from the show, I'm like, what's up then? And Tom, And then Tommy has hung out legit his friends with Brad Pitt and Jason Mamoah and didn't fucking tell me and then I go [1:04:09] Why wouldn't you tell me this immediately and he goes? I don't know I didn't think about it It just didn't really but then he goes well what would it take and I'm like I don't know and then I text you last night I go I guess it's Snoop Dogg because I fucking went in days we were on Kimmel and I'm in this dressing room and I was like I'm going I guess I'm going but I did my version Wow, I was like I was like it's so admirable that your career has lasted I didn't So nice he's so nice he's so nice and all I did was I was like I couldn't believe I'm on with him I met him first first. He told me he's like good all I did was I was like, I couldn't believe I'm on with him. I met him first, first of all, he told me he's like, it's good to see you again. I was like, we've never met. He told me. He told me. And then I went back into his dressing room and I was just like, it was great to be on the show with you. And I had to tell him I was like, you know, three, the year before in 92 was a deep cover. [1:05:05] I bought that and you're still like, you're still snoop. It's fucking, it's crazy. It's 30 fucking whatever years. Yeah, he's got the best longevity of it. And so I just admire that like so much. And then he said, you know, he says everything cool. Yeah. He goes, try to guess what I'm like. Shut the fuck up. Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm like I'm not in any mood. You in a very big movie is Mark Wahlberg. Bro, no, hi, he is all day long. Do you know how he was there? Luke lives in an alternative dimension. Yeah. And he really is. Where is not where we are. It's very cool to be, because I know you've been on the podcast, but like to be around someone and be around other people who you're like, dude, everyone, every age group, every generation, everything's Sesame Street. [1:06:07] It's fun to be around. Did you only turn the Stuart? Yeah. The only time I ever saw him serious is on this podcast when he was talking about how he had to switch to backwards rolling papers. And he was like, the young kids are telling me and I really had to make a change. Yeah. You got it. You should have fucking showed. Road Blunts Yeah, the blood of the monsters. That fucking show roadblancing time. Wasn't that like crazy to be on a shoot? I live with Snoop for three, a month, we lived in a hotel together. We were across a hall and I worked with them every day, but I have to say, and you know this, I was really nervous about meeting Snoop second over well-people sometimes. Like I was just, I have a wide, large way that's self awareness that's advanced He's not out of it. That's advanced right I'm trying but I said to Tommy Can you tell me how to meet Snoop? Because like I know how you do it you do it cool Tell me how to do it cool because I want to be friends with them Hey, whatever you don't know Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you said and you said I Like you snoop will like you be yourself [1:07:07] So I was myself, and of course I fucking lost my goddamn shit and snoop stopped, snoop stopped, and real quick, like in the middle of me being me, he just facetimes red grant and he goes, hey, you know this guy, and he flips it around, and I go and red goes, he's cool and he goes, all right, cool. And he's like, you're cool. It is me and Snoop FaceTime with Dave Chappelle and Donnell Rollins. But that was the night we got high and fucking snoop's the best man. He's like, you got him to the point where's like, maybe I don't want to be in this conversation. I had to check my credibility. I checked him. He had to check my credibility. Yeah. We were talking about cat Williams, and I was talking about Pimp Pimp Chronicles. Chronicles. And then I was, and then it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing, but I knew this snoop, new red. And I knew that if I brought up red, Snoop would think maybe, okay, he might know people I know. That was smart. But then immediately Snoop called me on my shit, [1:08:01] and in the middle of my story, justTime read you know him and then Red's like yeah, he's great. I love bird. Yeah, but having you ever had conversations with people You know you don't know them and they pretend they know you all the time also bring up people that supposedly they know References you know you're not gonna check. Oh, you know Chris man. You know Chris. No boy Chris Yeah, I met this dude. I'm just and he was like yeah, he goes we met before we met before with Mark Walberg I go cool never met Mark Walberg He's like great. I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. Yeah, I remember. Oh you're crazy Crazy crazy liar person a lot of people say you bring your name up. Yeah, that's a stounding. Yeah, I'm friends with Joe This is a guy I'm gonna do it too his dentist told me his dentist told him he played golf with Oh, yeah, what's the golf? Play golf with you Every day, yeah, you're dead. It's crazy. Don't let him operate on you bro Put you under it's take his beard. I think about the Joe connection is people being like can you give this to Joe? [1:09:06] Oh, I get that all the time. That's the thing I get. I wrote this. Can you give this to him? What is it another mefesto? Yeah, sure. I'll definitely if the type is really little they write really small and get scared. Or you get the scariest is that? You're trying to like two sentences in one line You know like one on top of each other. I'll be fucking terrified. You've seen writing on writing Yeah, let's get some friend it sister friend it tell tell us cuz the friend yeah writing on top of writing We're gonna top of right so like you write something in the right right right on top of it So like it's it's it's it's you can't read it. I'll you yeah, yeah, and then they'll be like check this out And so you immediately you're just like oh yeah, no, this is good Mm-hmm. I'll get to them. Oh, yeah, this is really good people Yeah, there's some people that for whatever reason whatever fucking happens whether it's chemical or neurons Whatever it is that makes that shift they're seeing things completely different You yeah, by the way gentlemen, y'all look very sharp. Thank you. Hey, by the way, it cheers to Burke because it was his idea for us all the [1:10:09] wear suits. Cheers. We've been doing these. So the first one was the three of us and that was the weight loss challenge. That's 2017 There's one teen I left there. I left right. I left yeah, you guys there right before I took off It was there before you became a New York comedian Bestie ever did what shut the fuck up. I'm giving a hard time already changed Are you change the scope of comedy? All right, you know what fuck you changed the scope of comedy. I did a United States you did I did the, United States. United the scenes. You were not under no end results without Ari. I don't know. Uh, I would not know Chris the staff in the center rosary. You may not know Tim Dylan without Ari branch. Ari, no, I reached out to Tim Dylan. No, I showed you with three depots and you're like, that's good. [1:11:00] Hey, that's true. No doubt doubt you 100% introduced me to very funny comedians. Hold on. James Joe, you don't not know the back tweets we back text we have when we want to introduce you to people. Why? Because you are the biggest maybe a brand in the world. And I don't like what? Recommendations. I just don't. I just don't find them on my own. Well, I do like to find as many things organically as possible. I recommend that Brian Simpson Yeah, he definitely did yeah, well Tommy's recommendations are different than me and are we recommended Shane Gillis for a year How long did we text back and forth are you one time? I've taken this guy and we're like and we're like yo, we got to send him send him the Toyota ISIS and then and then are is like I'll send it you reply and be like how fucking funny is this, Ari? Yeah, listen, I get the things, oh my God, you're right. I get the things in the whole, I get the things in the whole, I get the things in the whole perfect amount of time. You do, no, you do. I have to follow, it's too overwhelming. The, the wave that comes at me is too overwhelming. my best just stay present. Think about what I want to talk about. A lot of information. It's actually freeing because people like can you get me on Joe's [1:12:07] podcast but he's not going to listen to me. So no, there's no point. The I had a guy, I'll say his name. Yeah. Guy reached out on it to be on Joe's podcast. So fucking bad. You want to say his name? Sure. I don't care. I love you. I don't need to. Who is it? Theo Vaugh Want to be on Joe's podcast before you would have ever like clocked him and he was like, Hey, man, can you help me get on Joe's and I said to Theo, you know what? It's not good if I take you to him. Trust me. I go trust me. You're so fucking funny. Joe's going to find you and when you do his podcast, you'll murder because Joe loves you and and and and Theo's first appearance on this podcast was a monster. And I'm trust you, if I had said like, Joe, can you take my buddy you would have, you would have, and Theo Soba's are, that if you don't know who he is. I must always take comic recommendations. Like if Ari recommends someone, I almost always 100%. Adrian? We're saying this, yeah. After two years. Yeah, we love you. We love you. No, yeah. You're not shin' on, you do, you do. No, I do. I just don't, I filtered them in when I see fit. [1:13:08] I have scientists and athletes and authors and movies. So there's this funnel of people and I have to keep it in the realm of what do I wanna do. Yeah, true. I have to. I gotta ask you one. And there might not be one answer, but maybe there's a few. Have you ever had the most like, okay, I'll have them on? Like, yeah, I'll have this person on, and you're the most impressed, like most blown away by them. They were great. Yeah, like, where you, like, it doesn't have to be a comedian, it could be athlete actor, a scientist where you're just like, holy shit, that was amazing. And you weren't expecting it? You know what, if I mentioned one, I would do a disservice to so many of them that have had it that way. Yeah, okay. Yeah, there's just so many. There's so many that people recommend to me, some holy shit. Oh, he was amazing. He was like one of those ones where I was like I Worryed that we wouldn't get along. Yeah, you know with Henry. He's very volatile. Yeah, he's a yeah [1:14:09] He's very volatile but grow yeah, but like in a weird way that I feel like I'd you struggled to I feel like if you if you Can front him with any aggression? He comes back at you tenfold and feels justified You know like I was on a radio station once in Austin and they put they had this conversation with them and they said something and it went that he interpreted what they said really badly and then he went off on them and just fucking attack them and just talking about how successful he is and it was a weird conversation. I was like but I know guys like, but I know guys like that. I know guys like that from fighting. There's certain guys that you just have to massage your relationship with them. And I'm not saying that's Henry Rollins, but I'm saying it's guys to get angry really quickly and like maybe miss Reed. You know how to navigate that really well though. [1:15:01] And the dude, first of all, he was like Henry Rollins at one point in time was like a fucking serious power lifter. You ever see, like when, yeah, when he did that video, I'm a liar. Do you ever see how jacked he was? Yes. What, put up, put up I'm a liar, but now I'm a liar. But now, you know, he's like, he's like settled into his older years and he mostly does body weight stuff. We actually had a conversation about it, but he wrote an amazing essay. No, that's Franco Cormbo. He's talking about this. No, there's a video, there's a music video, that's it. That's it. I was like, he had a pull it in. You see how he's screaming in that snapshot? That's from the video, that's from the music video is uh... it has nothing to do with this essay but he wrote an essay about lifting weights what is it called jame something about truth is in the iron it's fucking great really good not not the the iron that's what it is [1:16:01] does he say it here give me volume the humiliation of teachers calling me garbage can and telling me I'd be mowing lawns for a living? This is a kid reading Henry Rollins book. That's what that is. I'll put the job. Just get to the go to the essay itself. Kind of like Henry Rollins. Because it's an essay that Henry wrote, Henry Rawls, by the way, writes constantly. He writes for a bunch of different publications. He writes essays all the time. And he listens to a shit ton of fucking, a shit ton of music, like on vinyl. Is this insane setup in his house where it's like $250,000 speakers. It's madness. He's just a music fiend. So this is it. I believe that by definition of definition, oh, I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be like your parents, to not be like your friends, to be yourself completely. When I was young, I had no sense of myself. All I was was a product of all the fear and humiliation that I suffered. Fear of my parents, the humiliation of teachers calling me garbage can [1:17:08] and telling me that I'd be mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and my size. I was skinny and clumsy. And when others would tease me, I didn't run home crying, wondering why? I knew all too well. I was there to be antagonized, and sports I was laughed at, a spaz. I was pretty good at boxing, but only because of the rage that filled my every waking moment, made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy. I hated myself all the time. As stupid as it seems now, I wanted to talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing that I wasn't going to get pounded in the hallways between classes, years past, and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a few boys in my grade, other losers. Some of them are to this day the greatest people I have ever known. [1:18:02] Hang out with a guy who has head his head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect and you'll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school sucked, teachers gave me hard times. I can't read this forever. This is going to blow your shit out of the hole. Let's get to the weight part. Oh my god. Have you ever had your head flushed down a toilet? Me? No. Okay. Have you? Of course. Really? Yeah. I love that. I know. I thought you brought Henry Rawens again back to you. Yeah. I prefer to wear a cat alone. It's a pivotal moment and the thing is, have you ever had been violated like that? I mean, what he's writing about is violation. Is there anything that's toilet? Yeah. No, no, no, it was at Forest Hills baseball. I mean, it's being violated. You have to be held up by a group of boys, and then they put your head in a toilet, which flustered or not flustered. It's a violation. That's, I don't mean, I'm not bringing it back to me. I'm just saying like, that's a very fucking powerful thing. They were called swaries. Sw Through the years I have combined meditation action and the iron into a single strength. [1:19:05] I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the iron makes my mind to generate. I wallow in a thick depression, my body shuts down my mind. The iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back. The iron never lies to you. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's 100% true. I feel that. Yeah, that's you and body of that. Yeah. But you were bullied as a kid. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I was little. So I didn't like it. I didn't also moved in to like new neighborhoods all the time I moved into new neighborhoods like three or four times when I was a kid So it was like it was so every time I was the new guy and I wasn't a big guy and dude was fucking with me I was like, Tim I gotta learn how to fight That was the the hundred percent my motivation like I didn't I wasn't like a kid that looked for fights ever [1:20:03] I was just terrified. I was like, okay, I'm tired of this. What's the solution? Like I gotta learn martial arts, watch Bruce Lee movies. I'm like, all right, I don't wanna be like that guy. Is that physically possible? What about, because what we were talking about right before was like asking people things. Cause you've had so many fighters, you love MMA and you're great commentator. I think you're a great analyst. You really know so much about it. You, it's fun to talk to you, like to learn. I think it's fun to learn. But do you ever had a fighter that, you know, because you give, you're not like, you give honest takes on things when you're watching something. You're like, this guy's ground game is not as strong or this guy striking is what it is like yeah, you're honest about it has a fighter ever carried that like Comment and then come in here and been like You know, I don't know not a year. I saw once dinner Where he's hearing when he's like hey you said some stuff about me. Whatever. Just you know is injured But during that fight I was yeah, but I'm nursing a knee injury. I know. Just so you, you're aware of what's going on. [1:21:05] I have to comment on what's happening. Yeah. I would normal, like, I always give, if someone's like, you got an unusually bad performance, I will say, I will try to like give this, kind of qualify. You never know what's going on. If you see a guy that carrying a little bit of extra weight, sometimes you see a little bit of love handles, like that's weird. His camp and maybe when it's wrong. They might have been something wrong. And that's so fucking common. That's literally no fighter at a world class level goes into that octagon 100%. They just don't. They just don't. Someone's got a fucked up elbow someone's next kind of weird someone doesn't want to wrestle They're knees bad their ankles fucked. They got their ankle taped wise his ankle taped There's so many guys go in there with like real fucking injuries man They ever bring a hostage like any hostility to a comet made like no I've had conversations with guys [1:22:03] But I over the years I've learned to express as much respect as I have. You know, like sometimes you just comment again the moment like you will with friends, like, oh, he's breaking, he's breaking. You know, but you have to be careful like how you say that when a guy is in a fight, if the guy's gonna watch it and he knows he's breaking and you're just kind of compounding his awful moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because guys break. Sure. They do break, you know, but it's not my place to say that necessarily. It is my place to comment on the technical aspects of how the exchange is going. Sure. If I see them folding, if I see certain characteristics where they're not engaging, they're just moving in a defensive way and they seem to be looking for a way out. Greg Jackson told me that he sees fighters except that they're not going to win. 100% then they're just fighting not to get knocked out. Exactly. Who is at the UFC Austin that like he was 40 and like he's been fighting for like... Benille Daruish. [1:23:00] Man. That was crazy. The guy he fought though is a fucking assassin he has one loss to Gamroth and he has one loss to Ismail Makachev who's the world champion and by most people's eyes at least number one or number two pound per pound in the world oh is that the what what are you showing me? That guy, Armand Sarukin, he's a fucking assassin. And Benille Darius, who's a very good fighter at this stage of his life is, you know, he's, I don't know how old Benille is, but I think he's close to 40. He has that gray hair. That was the thing that stood out there like man can you imagine doing this at forty but he's also at he's also a very elite vital been banal darius is fucking elite he's very good yeah but the ufc is a clean sport right now with you saw the gone and [1:24:01] now what is it the new company called clean sport no so what uh... so they still drug test to the rest of governing uh... yeah and if you're gonna be forty years old you're fighting at a disadvantage so the advantage would be that you know more right which is an advantage like old captain america yeah there's an advantage of knowing more but it's not enough of an advantage to deal with people also know a lot yeah and the young people there's an acceleration that comes from watching things on youtube and watching things streaming the young people are way better than the people that are older now were when they were that young sure sure it's there's a there's a one drug free sport but the guy the guy he fought it the guy you're saying so you can was the like twenty two or so yeah he's world class and he was world class when he was twenty and the fight with mockach have was it was a very close decision i don't remember if it was split it might have been unanimous but it [1:25:00] was a super close decision what did i do just fighting him up. So Benille's only 34? No way. Why'd you bring him up, Tom? Benille's only 34? I'm sorry, Benille. It's your hair, brother. Benille's gonna be mad at me. No, Benille's a very good guy. He's a very, very smart guy. He's gonna take his walk over here with him. He's also elit at Jiu I don't remember why I was born. We were talking about the fight. It just saying something. God damn, why did I think he was 40? It was just, I think at that fight, someone had said 40, and I was just like, that is insane. Oh, that's what it is. Like, that's insane to be, if that were true, you imagine jumping in the outcome at 40 with a guy who's 21, 22, it's just... But Randy Couture was world class when he was 40. Yeah, yeah. Heavyweight's a different. Randy Couture is about as high as... He was world class when he was 40. But also, there was no usada back then. Mmm, so there's a few things. How do you measure, how do you measure? I mean, Alistar Overiem is an Alistar Overiem. [1:26:00] Right. right with you saw it this is not the same thing it's not what you think they don't have any testing it is it is it fucking intelligence it looks like he's not yeah yeah he's whether to wait will it now we also fought that night he's 42 could have been him oh yeah Clay Guita is that how it's like we know the wild man yeah yeah you're not talking about the guy got knocked out no no I'm talking about this that's where our conversation that's where he got confused. No, Clay is for you to. He's got that fight. And he said, Jace, Joe said something about him or something like that. Well, it was awesome. I forget. I forget the origin. I forget the origin. How does your measure when you are a legit fan of someone and you Yeah, you can't you can't well that was a real problem with being job when job would fight because I also knew that I know when someone has one foot in and one foot out because I had one foot in and one foot out when I started doing stand up I was still fighting when I was doing stand up and I know when you're not 100% focused That's a dangerous place to be because you can get over confident and you think that you're still at the same level that you were at if [1:27:03] You're 100% all in that you're still at the same level that you were at if you're 100% all in, but you're not. You're not, you're not. The people that are 100% all in on Big World Champion are not also thinking about, I'm gonna start this podcast, and we're gonna go do a tour and do stand up, and now I'm making more money doing podcasts than I was doing fighting, and now they're taking the promotions away. I had more money doing podcasts than I was doing fighting and you know now they're taking the the promotions away I had more money from at he shot at more money from ads on his shorts than he would get from his UFC paycheck so I knew he was one foot in one foot out so with that situation it's like you got to stop like I've seen this you got to stop but some guys you can't tell the stop it's like they have this thing in their head and they want to figure out how to get to where they used to be one more time they think they can do it they don't like that was stand up but I would I would refer a guy though I be like come on I like that would come out that's Tony Ferguson that's [1:28:01] Tony Ferguson everybody roots for Tony everybody loves all Yeah, everybody roots for Tony to go back to when he was the boogie man because you know Elka Kui when that fucking guy he just seemed impenetrable It didn't matter if you heard him what you weren't gonna stop him He was coming forward as a series of losses in a row now, right? Well, it was really all from that one knee injury that he got backstage He tripped over wires and destroys his knee. No, no, that's how you got to mitigate risk. He was he was Elk Kuhli. He was the interim lightweight champion. He was supposed to fight Kabibner Numergumet off in Madison Square Garden. And he tripped over wires. In the promo leading up to the show, He was doing one of those ESPN things, whatever. And there were some wires on the ground. He didn't see him and he tripped on him. And he wrecked his knee, that wrecked his knee, tore it apart, had to have surgery. That would be, that part would piss me off so much. That's the way that that's how it happened. [1:29:01] And then he comes back, he beats Anthony Pettis. That how it happened. And then he comes back, he beats Anthony Pettis. Was that that would bother me less? Are you 100% now on the knee? Yes. And the arm now. Really? What's the opposite of what they tell you? Can you jerk off? Told me when they don't jerk off last time, you fucking psycho. You don't fucking when they when you're in the hospital, they they point to your arm. Turn it around quickly. They go. out around quickly. They go, good volume. They go, this is not gonna be a problem. This is gonna be a problem. And you're like, okay. Cause you think, oh. And now your knees are 100%. 100%. But I have nerve damage in my arm. So it might never ever, ever be what it was. Damn. So where is it at now? Well, it's just that I for life, it's fine. Like fun. Like, you know, I can do anything. Yeah. So with like heavy like, I don't know if I'll ever be able to lift anything heavy again. Because as you see, external rotation, it's really is bad. But even when you're like, have a heavy weight in your hand, well, first of all, I get wrist collapse at a certain weight. So like this hand will be fine, [1:30:06] and at a certain weight, this list, it'll collapse. You know? And then you feel things all in the elbow area with heavy weight. So I can, I don't know if I'll ever, I'm not that I need to, so that's the thing. It's like you of, yeah, it sucks when you're in there. You're like, oh, my whole arm has like these crazy vibrations and pains going on with heavy weight. So you just have to like shift what you do. Yeah, that's why I stopped doing dujitsu for a whole year. I had, I started getting these nerve pains in my fingers. If you push, if you push on my forearm, my whole hand will go numb. What? Yeah. Oh, they took a nerve. And they're from here. Super dangerous. They took it out of here. You know, I have no nerve here. What? Yeah, I have none. They took it out and they put it in here. Do you mean tendon? No, it took the nerve out. So what happened to your nerve out? They took the nerve out. And you be connected to When the guy did it, I was like, how many of these have you done? He goes one. I go, oh my god. [1:31:10] He goes, because you have two nerves and two muscles here to let you pronate. So they take it out. He explained what was happening that the fingers, the last fingers were coming back. This is what we're having to watch. They would go, daaah. They go, it was, injuries in December and in like, in like March, they do a nerve test. And they go, everything is not firing. Like, how are you functioning? And I'm like, yeah, you know, and there were things that were notable. Like if I went to pick something up, you might not notice, right? But I would just like, grab it, and then grab, like, my hand didn't open all the way So if you go like go like this I would go like this with my healthy hand and I would go like this Oh, and that was the most I could do and they told me they go if you wait a year Do you wait a week a year and the nerve doesn't? Fire and reconnect on its own your body consumes a nodule [1:32:03] Oh, it just consumes them. It's like you've ever seen somebody who has like a hand that just doesn't work anymore? That's it. It's got a lot of people. That's that hard work. Oh my God. So they go, if you elect to just wait it out, just know that where you are could be just where you are forever. Oh, no. Shit. And so when he told me that, he's like, or I could do this surgery that's like, it was actually a Brazilian surgeon who came up with this like this process, the surgery, and he goes, it works, you know, 100% confident in it. True, Hoss could surgery. And then just, I said, I'm sorry. When it starts to hurt, you turn your fucking card over to red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. red. One more few more knees. Buh-buh. One more knee. But then he did it and dude, like, you know, I can, I go all the way. And I can pick things up. But there's things where, so you'll think, you would think it's strength, but it's not strength. [1:33:00] It's the nerve firing. Like if I pick up something heavy, I got to it up, and with my right arm pull it up, and my left arm is here, and you go, oh, I guess you're just not strong. It's not strength. It's that the nerve isn't firing. It's just not setting to signal. I don't know. It won't tell it to go all the way. Wow. Dude, in the lone loss in my career where I got TKO left hook and I could hit with a left hook and my leg shut off. Totally shut off. It's the weirdest sensation of all time. Wow. I got hit with this hook, hit my arm and my leg just stop working. Just stop working. I'm conscious. My legs just stopped working. They just completely collapsed. And so the referee starts counting, one, two. And I'm like, whoa, a totally new experience. All my years of competing never had that. I never had that. So then I stand up and I'm like, these things are working right. And then this dude's throwing punches at me and they stopped the fight. But it was a fascinating experience because it was like, it's not about heart and will. [1:34:01] It's not about, they just stop working. Having you had Zach better on before. Yeah. And he just did that thing where you know he's a elite elite ultra marathon runner. Yeah. And he was out on one of these like hundred miles and at like 80 miles he was like I felt sick. I had to lay down. I tried to rest. He posted about it. You know. And he's like my legs, they just shut down. So he's like, he just had to, at a certain point, he just goes, I'm tapping out of this one. And it wasn't like, you know, it's different than obviously getting hit, but his body just was like, it's not- That's enough. That's it. It's just like, it's not happening. That's enough. Yeah. That's kind of like, this is pushing themselves like Zach Bitter does or David Goggins does is that like Inevitably they're gonna get damaged to that body David has to He shared it he sent me videos of his leg where he takes his leg and he compresses his fingers around it And the edema around his shin is so thick that his fingers are embedded in his shin [1:35:06] He had his knee severed what and and then reconnected he has no cartilage. He's bone on bone What's that gonna be like it's doctors? He's gonna get replacements 100% his doctor looked at his knee said I can't believe you can fucking walk on this never mind run thousands of miles thousands. Yeah, that's his leg. Look at that. That's a demon on his leg. That's from him just putting his fingers on his leg and that's after one of multiple surgeries he's had. What is a demon if you don't mind me asking? It's just swelling. It's like all this like fluid. It's it's basically just rift chest. I'm torn. Meanwhile he's doing it. He's like, don't be a bitch. Bro, he's an animal. When he came to my podcast, he got there early when I walked in, he was already doing chin ups. He was. Yeah, when I first met him, I went into the gym, you know, the podcast starts it, whatever it started out of that, I get there and, you know, I don't know if I do. I meet his wife, I meet I go back and he's back there doing chin ups with a shirt off. [1:36:07] It's like there's no reason to rest. Why am I resting right here? Is a whole full gym? Can I use this gym? Let's go. Wow. He goes out there, he's doing chin ups. He's crazy. What a great way to maximize your time. Yeah, he's, he's, he's just sit there like, you know, guess we're early, you know, what do you do? There's a gym right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get some water. Look at his toes. Look at his toes. No, the water. Look at the screen. No. Tom. Oh, come on. Yeah. That's Goggins toe. Eat it. That's for running. He ran some insane amount of 100 miles in like a short period of time. Can tell you the most human thing about him is that he he reads negative comments. Like when you see that he gets he gets him. He gets upset about them. He listens to them when he runs. Wow. That's where I connect with the guy where I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. Whatever. He don't David Goggins. Like I read that guy's nothing but inspiration. We gotta let that go. There's people are going to hate on every fucking thing that has ever existed. and it's not an honest perspective. It's flavored by their own inadequacy [1:37:08] A big part of it is flavored by their own fucking disastrous life David Goggins is what I listen to when I if I'm hungover I go to the gym I throw on David Goggins. They got a thing on him. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fucking throw one of those then too One this is this one's a six. I think I six no six rogue in two one one this is the way this one's a six six no six rogue yeah all right yeah that's what I like he go brother I like I like Tommy Tommy Tommy Tommy Tommy on them too yeah the roads are good they're very tasty and I don't take as many of them in as I do with the zins I'll take those any day over people fucking dipping oh yeah big so sexy you're on your own your friend Perry he was a the stunt coordinator on fear factor. Yeah, he was a he was a stunt coordinator on so many movies that back in the day You know, we're talking about like the early 2000s and it for him like deep into the 90s and probably the 80s You weren't encouraged to be spitting on set. Yeah, you had cut it. So he would just swallow it [1:38:03] He had got it so he would just swallow it So Perry got accustomed to swallowing his own tobacco just like that's a fucking man He had dip in his like slid into first cut his whole lip up and he was like on that side He took it all out push the other side Oh Push the other side Oh, this one's good which one is this It tastes immediately those are good. This is a experiment. All right. What is this month? You're doing Would you just need us some time off? Why didn't you just do it on October like we were supposed to do it? Yeah, because we never do who you're doing it? We don't do it myself. We do it. Are we doing it yourself? Yeah, this year We didn't do it. I didn't I'm just doing it to do it this year. Congratulations. I did it by myself. No weed nothing No, come on. I'm not so I'm saying that's not so good. No, no No, no, I did October without weed and then I started doing weed and I was like Weeds of fucking past it really is the past. I'm doing no weed no coffee weed is essentially steroids for comedy weed is great Uh Right, it is. Or it's a meek. It helps. It hurts you. I [1:39:05] hurt you if you're like I don't feel like I think weed at the is the at its best. Yeah. When you get off stage and you take a couple hits it almost just goes hey man we're good. Yeah. Like let's get in bed. Watch a documentary on Tarpen. And you're like yeah it's so coolest man. Oh I You should sit on it. And you're like, fuck yeah. It's the coolest man. Oh, I never finished telling you this. So they say, what do you want after you're set at the Wilbur? And I was like, I'm cool. Sometimes I get off, I like glasses scotch. And I finished the last time I was there, I was like, thank you, good like this in my life. It was so fucking fucking awful. Fuck yeah, that's thoughtful. Yeah, a nice glass of scotch after you just did what you needed to do. Yeah, I was thinking about you and the shower this morning. Oh really? Jesus Christ. I was always gonna make it weird. Oh boy. I broke it. I'm broken. What is it? I was just watching my armpits and I thought oh normal. Oh, yeah, that's when I think about our chicken. No, you wanted me I tell you why sometimes I think about everyone [1:40:09] to watch my armpits. Yes. The amount of theater I put on no no no I do think about you when I put on theater and though I lost enough weight that I have an armpit again. No, it was just it just fat. You couldn't feel the tendons in your pack in your back. So like it's just a fold. It's not like an armpit. Yeah. So now you're like, oh, he's gonna be jealous. No, no, no, no, no. I was thinking, I'm a little buzz while I share it. But I was thinking, how cool is it that you've had moments in your career where everyone's like fucking right that guy off and you're killing it. And you kill it. And then you start thinking, that's doing armpits? No, no, armpits thought of a part of it. And then I thought of Ari. I've been thinking about Ari all day because of what happened last night. Okay. And so, and I thought, you know, with what happened last night, I thought, I loved it. I loved that there's forgiveness in this world. And I loved that he's killing it right now. [1:41:08] And that- People that don't wanna forgive people that are actively trying to be better people, are bad people. Yes, yes. There's a negative aspect to this non-forgiveness mindset that is inescapable. It's not good for the person that perpetuates it. It's definitely not good for the people that receive it. If you have this fear that you'll be cast out of the kingdom, forever, for a thing that you deeply regret and you might have done in deras or you might have done for whatever fucking reason, but you realize as a human being, how could I have done that? If you're not willing to say, I get it, we're all human and I believe your intention. Give me a hug. Let's work this out. If you can't do that, you're the problem. The problem is you are the problem. You are the problem. You are the problem. You are the problem. You are the problem. [1:42:00] You are the problem. You are the problem. You are the problem. You are the perspective on every person you run into because you think that somehow or another that elevates you, but it doesn't. They make you stick to this mystery when Kevin Hart was like trying to be nice about gaze and they're like, well, where was that then? I'm like, he's being nice. And this is your moment to share on them. Also Kevin Hart was trying to be famous and trying to get laughs. Trying to get laughs. And when you try to get laughs, you will say things you don't believe, but you think will be effective. And it's a sign of a comedian. It's not that good yet. It's a normal thing that we all did. Yeah. We all still do. I watch people fucking pussy's. I watch people take wild cancers at the mother's shit like wild cancers. And I know the audience sometimes goes, why does he care about that? And you go, no, it's his thing in his head. He's trying to find something. Well, I think the audience at the mother's shift is more aware of that than most clubs, because we talk about it so much, that the process of creating a bit is sometimes you have to trot it out there and while you're saying it, you're free-balling and you might go down the wrong path [1:43:07] and try to get committed to it. Yeah. And then you're like stuck on a route. Yeah, I just like, well, let me try to get out of this. But that's how new bits are created. Yeah. There's new bits they get created because of that. That's why people should push yourself into a group of something. Yeah. That's what infuriated me. Infuriated me about Louis CK's leak set. Oh, I thought about that. That's comics were going after him. I'm like, do you are you lying to the normies about the process? It's also one of those things where I remember when that happened and you're like, we should not lose this list of names. It was like, I never lost that list of names. A creator's thought can stand up. A creator's thought can stand up. Where you're like, it's so obvious by the way that this is a pop in, like I'm working this shit out. It's a workout set. He hasn't done stand up in 10 months. [1:44:01] It's so crazy no stand up at ten months and every one of those premises had promised also they were good every little people when they were like what's going on of its health there's laugh at me re-telling that joke is literally like a farmer you need literally like a farmer being criticized for not having a crop to take the market right after he plans to see yeah yeah he might as you're fucking tomatoes he might be the most fun person to watch work out period too. Like he really, he's so, he's, dude, he's so good at it and he just takes, he takes chances and he goes for it and he, and the thing is he actually sits in suffering more than other comics. Like, meaning like if it starts to network, so many people bail out like that. And he'll sit in the suffering. But you know, we were talking about this last night at the club that there is a giant group of fans that want to see that happen. Yeah. So we're talking about guys like guys are coming up [1:45:02] to Duncan and saying, hey, I love how you change that. And now you're like oh shit now you've watched me multiple times do this thing But they like the pro like I like music. I can't play music or you can't play anything But I love watching live music. Yeah, I love watching people perform and if there was a way that I can go watch them develop live songs that I can go watch them develop live songs, develop them. Like if I knew that like Gary Clark Jr. is gonna start out with like this sort of melody and put it together in front of crowds, then one day it's gonna be on Spotify. But for now I'm getting a watch it happened. That's comedy fans now. Yes, that is comedy fans now. What percentage do you in it? 37. No. I'd say like less In a room. Thirty seven. No. No. Thirty seven. I'd say like less than a half. At the mother ship. Less than half. And the mother ship. Then our wanting to walk in it. I bet at the mother ship there's a lot more than most because I bet at the mother ship there's they've at least listened to one conversation between comedians. But where do you have to lighter that is a little bitch what a bitch I'm a fucking two-year-old leader to your family [1:46:06] I need to get a lighter Does someone make a lighter that looks like an eagle? Bert, what are you gotten there? Jamie, you've gotten me an eagle lighter for my cigarette Can you be the best car you've ever had? Yeah, this is the best car you've ever had With the chopper on a calibre Yeah, shout out to calibri. The only time I'd ever flex a fucking police hook me up. One of those two. I get I showed you this yesterday. Yeah. Love Florida, Manica. I look to you. And allusion bull. This is the best cigar you'll ever have in your fucking life. Really? That cigar is next fucking level. This is next boy who cried wolf personified. No, no, it's the way I live life. I tell you how I feel you tell me you could do this splits buddy I did a marathon you know how hard it was to bite my tongue when you show me David Gargons foot and I was like that's what we do You should have just said it. That's what we do Joe. You did a marathon What do you want? I know it's a cutter. It's way in front of you. Joe What part of my shoulders do you like? [1:47:02] They're very firm. They also, they look like a guy who could pick up some heavy shit. We were talking about in the green room when you got on stage. I was like, damn, look at birds, fucking shoulders. You got traps, you got shoulders, you look jacked. You remember that one day we did so broctober, it went back there and everybody was like, how much can you bench? It was one of those time-tuneer-bunch things. And we put 225 on the bar and no one could bench it. But I just saw you benching at the other day and how many did you do? How many reps? 10 reps. By the way, for progress, like to be clear, you got pinned. The first time. I got pinned. Pinned, pinned on one. Pinned on one. I don't bench press. And when I did it, I was like, this is really stupid, but we were drunk. I love it. I think I did 12 or 13, but I can do 15 now. Every now and then I try it. You know I'm gonna blow out my packs trying to do 15 today. Do it, blow them out. If you do, I'll do 20. Do it, if you guys aren't pussy, I love this about you. We'll take it to the other this about you. You don't I love that you own a little territory in my head [1:48:06] You don't love it. I do you don't I do you think you love To where actually engaged in competition And it's an anxiety when you get up to piss in the middle of the night. I know you think about it But we were doing so I could do double them. No, I doubled them with push ups. No, that's ridiculous couldn't I. I definitely could. Double them in bench. You need to do 30 reps? No. 30s tough. No, I'm proud of it. 30s tough. It's a lot of dogs. No, no, no, my friend can't handle it. It's 15 out of the struggling. It's 15 out of the struggling. All I do is kettlebells. The heaviest way to do is 70 pounds. Hey, would you ever think about posting when you program for your workout? I would love to know what you do. It's real simple, you do circuits? Yeah, yeah, I do circuits. But I think there's a real value to doing, [1:49:00] like there's a bunch of exercises that are standards, like straight leg dead lifts, clean and press. These things start with swings. I start with push ups and body weight squats. I start with cold plunge. Every workout is three minutes, 34 degrees. Boom, go from there, 20 body weight squats, 20 push ups, 20 body weight squats, 20 push ups. You do two sets in a row so that you get two sets of legs, two sets of push ups, so you get warm up. Then you do the final three, you get to 100 push ups, 100 body weight squats. Then it's kettlebells. And if I'm on a regular schedule, it's 70 pounds. So I go to 70 pounds, 70 pounds, 10 swings each arm, three sets, 10 presses, each arm, three sets, 10 presses each arm, three sets, 10 windmills, each arm, three sets, 10 renegade rows, each arm, three sets. Falk renegade rows. So with 70 pounds at the end of that is rough. So then you go to the sled. Then you go to the sled. Oh, sled. And then it's the torque sled pushing it, [1:50:02] you're pushing it about 35 meters, and it you're pushing it about 35 meters and then you're pushing it and you pulling it back and we do that We'll do that for three sets you work on someone no, it's get it I just do it in my head and then I have comics good do it with me. Oh, I have been there for those so then we go from there to Tabata's on the heavy bag to bodys are 20 seconds sprint followed by 10 second rest So we do that and we blast out the end of the workout. We put the rock through this. Yeah. And the end of the workout you know, the rock is fucking, he was cool man. He's humble. He didn't, he's not a kettlebell guy. He had never done cold plunge before before. He did it with us. What? Yeah, never done it.. So he super humble. He was, he, there was no guys built like a fucking superhero, right? But I think he's also doing a lot of stuff to increase like the aesthetics. Yeah. You know, so he's doing a lot of machines. If you look at his iron paradise, that insane gemmy I set up. By the way, American flag, [1:51:03] fucking prominently displayed. When you look at that setup, that setup is a set up. It's perfect for a guy who wants to look like a superhero in a movie. It's perfect. But I'm concerned with like functional strength. I'm concerned with like, I want to be able to move my body like an athlete as long as I can. And so we did a bunch of like wild shit that he had never done before. Yeah, windmills are hard, man. Windmills are really hard. It's hard, you know, but I've been doing that whole routine for so long that my body is like just fucking prime. Are you pretty much at that every morning? Is that roughly where you're at? That's one workout that I do twice a week. You know, a guy like me would love to get an inch out of the morning. Come workout with me. No, but I'd love to get an inch out of my body. Oh, I gotta fly it out of the eight. That's cold. I texted you. I'm like, five a.m. workout. I texted, sorry. You have no fucking idea. I'll shoot my testosterone at fucking 430 let's do it no 330 you wanted to get a couple hours in it where really gets in your system I love to get an information like that and then we'll co plunge first [1:52:09] Co plunge first was dark out with your big cock you'll hear Buddy I hear the video you showed of your yourself getting the co plunge of the day I had to stop myself for going is anyone looking at his cock Only Bert only Bert and a couple of chicks. They call me a hog watcher. If you're a big cock I'm gonna know. There's something fun about getting in that cold when it's raining out. Oh, it's raining out today. It was 32 when you got in that video. No, it was 21. It was 21 outside and 34 inside. How much, do you think it's worse? Like, like, like, what? What, what? Like, getting in the cold when it's cold out. No, because it feels like you want to relief from something. No, no, no. It's so much better after the sauna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But it doesn't matter if it's hot out. Once you get in, it's still fucking so cold. Do you do box breathing? I just to. So I can just sort of, great. It's after the first 20 seconds, then it's like, I'll just shut up. [1:53:06] Unless you use the blue cube, the blue cube, there's an option to have it like a raging river and you never get what's called a thermal barrier. Very probable, wow. Yeah. Yeah, thermal barrier. You realize how in the weeds you are about cold plunging? Yeah, I'm in the way to go. I would love to open up Rogan's YouTube on his computer, just see what it's suggesting to him. I can't wait till the North Korea blinds that fucking phone. And by the amount of guns I research. And the amount of animal attacks. Yeah. The polar bunch is bad ass. But do you do the light thing? Yeah, do that red light therapy? Yeah. Do you get that in one? Yeah, I got it. What's that? I got a red scar. Well, one of the things is happening is as you get older, your face, your skin starts to get thinner because you have a lack of collagen and you start looking like you look sick. [1:54:00] Even if you feel good, your skin has more laxity. In the one and a half months that I've been using it, my skin looks better. What is it? What is it? It's red light therapy. What is it just like? What a thing? We could talk about it, but I don't know what I'm saying. So I'd be told, I'm gonna shoot light at you. Yeah, it helps your body. You see people with the mask. I'm not the guy to talk specifically about it. It helps you rehabilitate from injuries. There's a lot of things. I'm not the guy to talk specifically about it. I do it every day. I have one of those. Yeah. You have a beric? Yeah, I have one. I want to do this. And I have a flotation tank. I don't know which one is better for you. because both of them are really good for you. The floatation tank is, there's a reset that I think you're going to achieve from that. It's just like doing psychedelics without any of the weird fuckery of recovering and coming back to normal. You get out of there and you're fine. If you could take what you get from a sensory deprivation tank in a pill with just as a drug. [1:55:06] Everybody would take it. It's called Xanx. No. No, no, no, no. That's great. It's the best. I bet Xanx is awesome. It's great for us. I think what that is is the opposite. That's like instead of like pretending your house isn't wrecked, check out. That's like going in your house and examining all the cracks in your foundation. Oh, I had to jack off In a flotation day, whatever shut up to Kuhia anyway, you jacked off and no, I didn't jack off in there fucking things I did I feel like you did I probably did Tom you jerk off. I joke off a lot Once now Leon's on testosterone to not supposed to share that you did she went she just went secret time a lot. How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? [1:56:00] How much? How much? How much? How much? How much? And they got her on testosterone progesterone and I'll share that because I think Yeah After your apologies my wife's friend My leg is my wife's friend is English come on my leg my wife's friend is English about you go ahead Joe my wife friend is English and she got on testosterone and she she was telling my wife about she was I feel like a bloke she was English lady she was I feel like a bloke but Leanne Leanne wants to fuck all the time and I'm telling you it's waist wellness God bless waist to well get them on it she's on progesterone and testosterone I told it to Shane Torres Shane Gillis and he fucking could not stop making fun of it in the hilarious, hilarious way. He's fucking so good. But it's changed our relationship. We're fucking nonstop nonstop. I can't even, I don't wanna drink hot hot. What's that noise again? [1:57:01] Uh, uh, uh, uh. What? Uh, uh, uh, uh's again. What? What? What? Throw up noise. Oh no. Oh, what, my landline? Just joking. No, if you saw us fuck, I think. I would jack off in the corner. I don't think you would. What would I do? What would I get you to? What's best thinking about? You'd be that same face whether you made it. Like open your eyes, Birch. What's very position, Bert? Tell you something. I thought you were gonna say peg. I'm so glad you didn't say peg. No. I like, I like, from behind. Yeah. It's really fucking awesome. That's a good one. I never was in the ass. That's a good one. I was never in the ass. It's really good. Yeah. You were never in the asses? No, I was a tick I look at her ass and it's like it's perfect. It's not like cellulity Yeah, and it's just a big ass a big cellulity Cellulity That sounds like it should be a band. That should be a fucking cool band like pussy riot By like I like a doggy styles fucking hot. It's so fucking hot [1:58:03] like a doggy style is fucking hot. It's so fucking hot. And I like it. And I don't know if it's testosterone, but she's checked off barriers that were previously in our relationship. But fucking. No, no, no, we have an anal sex. Congratulations. We have an anal sex. Do you want it? Yeah. Yeah, obviously. Hans Kim on No, no, no, your your girls podcast Kill Laura kill Laura kill Laura. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lower com first date. Yeah. Yeah. He said what I don't know buddy Hans Kim, what's the podcast called first date first date? He had a really funny Hong Kong. Yeah, Hans Compton. Sorry. Lauren Compton yeah, it's Lauren Compton sorry Lauren Compton you guys sure yeah he said I don't want to I do want to have it only so I know where I stand with you that you'll let me do dirty shit to you or something like that I said that's some similar but it's like it's like a guy who shouldn't be a lot [1:59:01] to have a gun. Let's see where I stand. Yeah. I fucked it up, sorry Hans, I fucked it up. But it was very, very funny. Yeah, it was very funny. You can't stop thinking about, I know this is a weird transition, but that six hour MPX that Terran has. Good gun. I want to get one of those. Wait, what's this? I guess you what I can't stop telling you what I stopped telling it there? Yeah. Did you mention the snoop that you knew me? I got a pee. That's what you wanted to know. I have to know. Oh my gosh. No, but I'll tell you why. You mother fucker. I'll tell Why? He asked Copperheads. It wasn't a... He didn't want to hold up to you. No, it wasn't a long conversation. Oh, okay. And it wasn't like, it wasn't settling in to talk. It was the first time I met him, I met him for three seconds. Yeah. And I thought that was it. And at the end of the night when I went in there, it was, I had a major hesitation about walking into his dressing room with his body guards and everything around. [2:00:06] I mean, Papa. And I just went into say, I just went into say, it was fun to be on the show with you. And I thought it was that he has to pick it was very, very fast. It wasn't long. I went to see Danny Brown. If I had stayed to talk if he was like pull up a seat. Yeah. It would have been something. I want to see Danny Brown, and perhaps just not my genre, like it is yours. He's cool, we become friendly. Danny's fantastic. But, Daniel Simonson, that's his number one guy. Really? That's time, it's like, what do you mean? I was sure, and we're having a conversation, oh cool, what's the, what about the weather? He's trying to be cool. Yeah, I was trying to navigate the conversation without looking like you realize I would have been like, if you had worked with them for a year, I would have walked in and be like, I know Tom Scroo. I just, I was so who I am. Yeah, but I was, I mean, here's the thing. You say that because you were in my mind, and the fact that you guys worked together was a natural thing to bring up, but it was also, I think, when you're in [2:01:05] sometimes in those situations, you're like, when's the time to say this? You're kind of nervous about how you say it, and you're looking for the end to say it. So if I talk to him for longer, it would have been a normal thing to bring up. Cheers, I love drinking with you. I love drinking. I'm poory. Oh, you're so gay. You're not drinking. Yeah, I got another week Yeah, that little dog. Oh, it's so fucking cute the cutest thing I've ever seen. I think we should so fucking cute I just swallow his face. Hey Joe, can I ask you a question? So when you watch Conor McGregor in ATS fight? Did you want one of them to win no okay really real the the the main problem i had during commentary with shop that was the only problem i really had yeah donald cowboy soroni i love that love him i wish that i wish that was more men like that in this world i love him to [2:02:01] death but when he's fighting connoble gregar i can't have a favorite. I just have to let it happen. This guys have all, they're all professionals. That's impossible. You know, I do it. I do it. I do it. I swear to God, I do it. Even when Sean Strickland fought Israel, Alassani, is this my friend? I love it. I love it. He's a shit. He's the mother. He defended me with a whole n-word video came out Yeah, the dude I may admit me tear up. Yeah, I love this by the way as a personal favorite 100% as a human being He's one of my favorite people that I've ever met. He's an extraordinary human being so fun But when he fought Sean Strickland, I you know, I have to be neutral. I have to be like wow That was during fight companion that was during fight companion. That was during fight companion. Oh right. Yeah, so that was, I wasn't even working. I was just hanging out here, watching the fight. Oh, I'm still trying to be that. I still have to be neutral. I have to be, I have to have a neutral mindset. Why don't you be mind to go into like this avenue [2:03:06] where I want someone to win and someone to lose because you'll get a biased perspective. And I know I've been guilty of that in the past when I was in the early days of my commentary. And I realize that's a flaw. It's a flaw. Like I have friends that fight and I love them to death and I want them to win but if they don't win I can't be attached to that. I have to be attached as a person who's Appreciating the sport. I'll check in on them. How you doing you alright? Yeah, you know But the reality of what they're doing is I have to be a clear objective viewer of the transaction That's the question winning the exchange. I think when I'm here in MMA commentary, I definitely want what you're saying. When I hear football or sports commentary, I want to hear the Yankees brought. I want to hear the go, come on! You can't let that out. Yeah, but the thing is, there's a giant difference between a sport and a fight. A fight, you're exposing a man's soul and you gotta be respectful of that. You're exposing everything about what he's capable of. [2:04:07] He's literally, they're fighting to the death. They're just not letting them finish it. That's what that is. That's true. I think by the way that Kirk Herbstreet does that so well. He's an Ohio State graduate, like he played there, and he commentates on all the biggest games, and he can comment on Ohio State game and be neutral in my opinion Yes, I want somebody I would turn the Redskins games on mute and let the radio like the hometown radio guys Yeah, I think he's very good at it. Yeah sweet sweet my favorite Nate Diaz clip ever ever is the coolest thing especially if you're ever been bullied Do you ever see Nate Diaz when they go, hey, we ever bullied as a kid? And he just looks and he goes, no, I had a big brother. And you're like, and your heart swells and you go, fuck. Yes. And his big brother was Nick. Nick Diaz. Nick fucking Diaz. Nick Diaz is one of the all-time greats. [2:05:02] I have to ask this. He is one of the all-time greats. I have to ask this. You, that was a really hard one. Okay, I'll never happen to you. And I have a big brother, man. Facts as big brother. Yeah, I can't believe it. His big brother is a savage. A savage, look at him. A real legit savage. I remember when Nick Diaz fought Robbie Lawler. Robbie Lawler was the man. He was like 20 years old. He was an assassin just smashing people and Nick Dees went into the octagon and as he walked into the octagon He was like stomping on the floor What what part of a California's you front again? Stockton. He's serious. Yeah, it's real for a second the worst and he was yelling out Stockton Stocktonton motherfucker Stockton. I love it. By the way, I was like, what is going on here? Yeah. I was confused like as a commentator, I'm like, what's happening here? He's like, Stockton motherfucker Stockton. I can't believe I forgot Stockton. Yeah. You're the one that brought it up the only reason I worked out. I've got up ribbock. I was up late at nine. I wrote late at night till four in the morning. [2:06:06] God, fuck. God, I've got up. Got in the cold. I'm gonna go back to the story. Stocked him other fuckers. He yells out stocked him other fuckers. Stocked it. And then you see Robbie Lauer going, what? I don't know what that means. And when we thought Nick could beat him like we knew Nick was a jiu jitsu guy But he beat him with boxing and knocked him out he knocked out Robbie Lawler when he hit him on the right hook and Robbie dropped like face plans And we're like what it was nonsense like no way somebody bullied ruthless Robbie Lawler Oh, look at that. He just started I mean I mean Robbie was an animal Robbie was throwing back, but Nick was just oh I mean, Robbie was an animal. Robbie was throwing back, but Nick was just, he, that, that, that, that, that, talking shit is a 100% legit psychological tactic. It fucks with your mind and impedes your performance. 100%. It's a brilliant move. It's in all sports too. In all high level sports. [2:07:01] It is. And in fighting, I think it's, he did it better than anybody in the beginning. Nobody did it better in fight. He would talk someone shit to them. Frank Shamrock said that he couldn't believe it was happening to him. Because when Nick, go to Nick Diaz versus Frank Shamrock. I want to see it too. Okay. Is this one? Nate, which one that flicked off the cameras, right? Yeah. I was that the fight. He's stunning with the one too, yeah. But this is Nick was better. And all do respect to Nate. Nate will tell you that Nick is better than Nate. Nick was just weed killed Nate. Nick was one of the, No man, I thought he stopped fighting because he wouldn't get tested. No, no, no, no, no, nobody got killed because of weed. I thought he stopped fighting Yeah, no, no, there's no testing now in the UFC now. He's just had some real injuries man that like if you you got to go to Nick Diaz like right there boom face plant You got to go to Nick Diaz in strike force if you want to see Nick Diaz at the elite of the elite level where you achieved Like real true greatness [2:08:00] When by the time he got to the UFC he was was still great when he fought go me and pride. He was still great in strike for an elite athlete in combat sports has a small window of time where they can perform at their best level. And when Nick Diaz was in strike force when he was a champ, he was fucking everybody up. He would just walk you down and beat your ass. And if you went to the ground, he would fucking strangle you. 100% of the time. He beat everybody's asses. God damn it. The thing is, he would let guys take him down and shut up. You can't knock me out. Like you never knocked him out. No one knocked him out. He always survived. He always figured out a way to turn into a grappling exchange and then slowly but surely he would beat you out. Nick Diaz swam from Alcatraz. That's the gangster thing. Five times. No, really? Five. For the main line. Great white shark. Five time. Might be more. Nick, I'm sorry if it's more since then. It's probably more since then. [2:09:01] He beat everybody down. Beat everybody down. Eventually you just withered and he never got tired and he just kept put it on you. And at the end of the fight it was always like this. He was basically hitting a fucking punching bag a person who couldn't believe the amount of pressure that Nick Diaz put on them. Just beating the fuck out of them with not even breathing heavy. He did not stop. He did not stop. And you're standing on top and like, what? That's it. That's over. I want you to go to Nick Diaz versus Frank Shamrock. Because Frank Shamrock was a legend. It was a UFC champion. He was the first complete mixed martial artists. He could wrestle, he could submit you, he could do anything. And Nick Diaz, the entire time, was like, what bitch? What bitch? What are you gonna do, bitch? He was just constantly talking to him. And Frank was like, I couldn't believe he was talking to me. Hey, talking right now. Always. Give me some volume. See if you can hear it. I think they both like talking. [2:10:05] Frank's trying to focus right now though. You can tell. What do you think that's straight right hand of the body? And the thing is, he's just touching you. He's hitting you with like 50%, 60%, but he's so relaxed. Look how relaxed his style is. He's not getting tired. Look how easy he's hitting him. Why? Because he's just wearing him out. He's cooking his food. And he's holding back. Yeah. Oh, no, Nick is 100% holding back. Look how he's punching him. He's not punching him full force at all. He's just piecing him up. He's just piecing him up. Yeah. See, the thing is if you can fight at that style where you just 50% in guys you don't get tired and if you can do 20 punches at 50% it's almost as good as a 50 punches at 100% yeah or or rather 10 punches at 100% It's like if you go cut it in half the volume also keeps you from being able to take a good breath [2:11:05] All right the guys on you all the time you never get a breather Frank's not getting any breathers and Nick's not tired Look, he's just piecing them look even that kick. There's no real power in it Everything's just touching you touch you until he starts to really see you will and look at him Look at him look at a stomach look at his stomach there's no breathing heavy at all he's probably at 120 beats a minute right now that's insane this is a fucking guy runs triathlon so he can stand in front of you and you are fucking cooked so he's cooking his chicken right now he's got his chicken on the fire right now. Oh, damn. He's fucking, he's cooking chicken breasts. He's just piecing them up. And look, not tired, not exhausted, not hitting him. There's a dig. That's a dig. First dig. Wow. That right hand of the body he dug in due. So right now he's 100% going after it. Yeah, now he's going after it. See the difference? Yeah. these punches have a lot more fury behind the right, because he's ending the fight. He's, he's, [2:12:05] Frank's already at 180 beats a minute. He's wilting and he's beating the fuck out of him. And then he helps him up because your legend get up. He said that your legend get up and he holds his hand up. God, he's got to tell you how he feels about him. That's legitimately how he feels about him. Is there anyone better than Diaz brothers? Yeah brothers? No the brothers man that like look There's a lot of like are they better than Peyton Manning and Archie man or those you know, I'm ending Yeah, of course sports are saying yeah, like the brothers now Peyton and Eli are better I don't know man world titles. Yeah, it's multiple rings. Yeah, I don't know man. World titles. Yeah. Multiple rings. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, Nate's biggest win. Connover. That's his big win. But you said though that elite guys when they get in there, they go to late. They do the most of the fight at like 60, 70%. Right? In less than like Matt. [2:13:01] That's one of the reasons why Max Holloway's top sparring, Max decided at one point in time that he's sparded enough, he understands it, and just does drills and trains and does a bunch of strength and conditioning work and when he goes into a fight, he hasn't been hit in a long time. And that's his philosophy. But he's also a world champion at the top of, you know, there's a top five pound for a pound, Max Holloway should be in there. Yeah. He's one of the greatest of all time. Because that's the thing, like if you're amateur, you always start going like I'm going 100% dude. Yeah. Like you know, you step in. Yeah. Whether you're doing jiu-jitsu or you're boxing or something, you're just this Well, that's Nick Diaz was the best at that because he understood endurance from the perspective of someone who swam from Alcatraz Someone who just triathlons when you do triathlons your fucking swimming you're running and you're biking There's three different things you're doing all of them are exhausting and any one of them when it's over [2:14:01] It should be over yeah like wow what a workout, but then you got another one. And then after that you got another one. What does he take? He takes a tourist boat out there and it's like, I'll catch up with your guy. No, no, no, no, they do that specifically endurance athletes do it. They swim back from Alcatraz. Because if you can't Great whites. No, you're dead. That's like what do you do? It's like up. There's like a follow-boat kind of kind of like I don't even know how they did it Okay, um either way he made it all the way five times I'm not gonna help you. How far are you doing when you do that? I just Just more than a mile. No, no, it's I think it's if I'm not mistaken. Current though. Well, the current. Well, they do they time it out with a current. They don't they don't go with like but the distance just the distance has the crow flies. What's the distance? The distance between Alcatraz five times so during the [2:15:05] common-grade your half-year dosa jose anyway during one of the five i said he did it twice and he corrected me he corrected me he said he did five times how far is this is by the way two thousand sixteen he's probably done it five times since then what he's a fucking psycho this is a story like I remember how hot this story was a distance to now Trust it's gotta be at least I'm just telling you on marathon on triathlon's It's gotta be a mile. Yeah, it's more than a mile. I know it is But I'm just saying yeah to be safe. It's over a fucking mile. Whatever like what happened with the cane story K. The last quest can he hasn't been convicted and 1.25? 1.25 miles. Okay. So long swim. It's a long swim. Can has not been convicted. He's still locked up? No, he's free. They released him on bail. Can I ask you to pause for a second? Is Can you have a last quiz, the guy in Hawaii whose son? [2:16:02] No. His guy in northern California whose son was molested by someone who was running the daycare system. Same thing, my thought was why. He's from a.k.a. he's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time in his prime, maybe the best. And he found out that his son had been molested by a daycare worker and he went after that guy and drove his car in a rage and shot a gun at him. And they arrested him, they kept him in jail for a long time and they finally let him out on bond and now he's coaching at A.K.A. and I don't know what the status of his cases but Cain is an exceptional human being. Totally. Amazing human being. I feel like that was a story where like every Every dad who heard that was like I fucking get it. I got it. I got to be careful with straight bullets The guy who the guy who did that is out What yeah the guy who did that is out on bail so he's out and Kane was in jail at the same time [2:17:03] It's one of the most terrifying situations a father could ever find themselves in and not just know that that guy is out, but that you're in prison and that your wife is home with your children and this guy who has already targeted your kid. Who knows how fucking sick he is. He might try to target him again while you're in jail. Because you're and you might be in jail forever. Who knows? He might be in jail for 30 years. Who knows? It's attempted murder. He was shooting a gun at the guy allegedly. You know, but I'm on team Cain. All day. Everyone. I'm on team Cain. I don't know, but if he is. I'm on team can all day struggle every every person every parent except are he was a kid but even are for his dog No, I don't really a boy. I know but there's a feeling that you wouldn't you have kids man This is a fucking protection feeling that's Jim Bruce at it to me goes. I never understood murder [2:18:00] Who goes now I get murder? It, I had murder for my kids. Yeah. I'll go fund me shut down. What? Go fund me, shuts down, Kane Velasquez fund raiser says donors issued refunds. Oh my God. I'll go shut it down. Violation of terms of service. What's your terms of service? I'll go fund your defense of a of service. What's your terms of service? You're the defense of a violent crime. Prohibits raising money for the legal. So hurricane. I see if you want a hurricane. Not a violent crime. You've been human beings. Hurricane? No, no. You couldn't have his defense. I just added Bob Dylan's hurricane to my Spotify Rear-room playlist would push now be available. That's why I don't go or N or use in that song. I do you understand? Hurricane Bob Dylan should be okay. Yeah, of course The Bob Dylan's That hurricane story is complicated Yeah, but so you couldn't raise money for that defense with the new go find yeah, but that did the [2:19:07] Stories complicated Yeah, but so you couldn't raise money for that defense with the new go fund. Yeah, but that did the stories complicated. Whether or not that person was guilty or not is complicated. The hurricane story. Yeah, it's a little complicated. And the version in the movie is 100% horseshit. The version in the movie of the guy who's targeting him horseshit. They always do that with like Fruitvale station. They can't make him a drug dealer. So he was like, here, take on my weed. I'm done. And it's like, you could be a drug dealer not deserve to be a shot. Yeah, well also when drugs are legal and some drugs will get you put in a cage and the people that own the patents to those drugs or funding politicians like what it's very what yeah you just don't want entrepreneurs you know what drug dealers on a street level yeah drug dealers everywhere every time you get a wall grades the fucking plexiglass wall behind you and the drug dealer true we were filled with people stuff me and Kevin I saw it driving through Arizona and we [2:20:03] passed by some prisons we're just looking them up They all renamed rebrand and we were like they made since the 85 and he said they made two billion dollars And if you told them hey one of your big funding things is weed arrests We're gonna make that not a prop. They're gonna go a full on like make that illegal You know that that prison guard our business prison guard unions lobby to keep marijuana from being taken away at all wherever business. Yeah. Just to keep them employed based. Yeah, because it's like if you're a business person, that's what you're supposed to do. If you have shareholders, if you have union members, you're supposed to, you're not supposed to do it morally. You're supposed to do it like what's the benefit of this, these group of people that are represent. That's a sturdy about corporation. But are you wise enough to not do that? Like say, say you're the, what's the family that Jelly Roll just talked about on a congress? The Bilderbergs? Well, no. No, the Clintons. Nobody talked about a family that did all opioids. [2:21:02] Sackler family. Sackler family. Sackler family. Yeah. I'm just saying be fair. Well the kids are saying this. Are you out of this? Could you, could you, could you walk away from millions? Who? You as a person and say like, You like to say you could, but so I like to say I could. I like to say I could. So I'm just saying I can't. I can't. You If you were in the family the sack or family the kids are out, it was going down. The kids are like, shut the thing. You think you would have kept your mouth shut? Yeah. If you knew that everybody was dying. Yeah. You justified yourself. Everyone wouldn't have said you weren't in line. I think Facebook started dying. You only yacht and fucking make it up. No, this is what I believe. I think Facebook started nice and it was all friendly. He's in his off-friendly. And then once Zuckerberg realized, oh, people are turning on each other hard for your thing. He's like, keep it running. Just keep it running. We got a machine here. Yeah, buddy, it's so hard. I don't think it was like intended to walk away from money. Uh-huh, filibur. Not everyone has a sweet thing in life. Filibur is to the like, man. Bird, how much money are Bill, you'll die for this money. You're saying you don't tell. I'm just saying I'm not better than the average person. [2:22:06] You know what, I don't stop you right here. What you're saying, this is what I'll stop you. Okay. You're you. And those people that work for the sacers are a different thing. They're, if you take a flower and sugar and chocolate and you mix it up and you make it a fucking cake. That's how you make a cake. If you want to make sourdough bread, you need different ingredients. If you want to make a really nice guy who's a good dad and a good husband, a funny guy and does a tour and does stand up comedy, you go through your life. And you make through your life. I just a great make bird Christ. You make you if you want to make a sackler you have to have disconnected parents. You have to have this weird privilege of insane financial wealth. You have to have a pharmaceutical gigantic company that's been bribing politicians and manipulating narratives [2:23:08] and shaping the public's view of pharmaceutical drugs by hiding negative side effects and accentuating the positive benefits of it all for money. But also all the lawyers, but this is the environment that you grow up in. You're a different thing. You're a different thing. You're a different thing. You right now would pass up on the money. No, I'm not. I'm running right now, but I'm saying. No, I'm saying if you got a fucking phone call and the Sackler said, this is gonna sound crazy. The comedy is killing me. But it turns out you're a part of the fucking Sackler family. And you all have a seat on the board, and you can come in, and you're, oh, we didn't know, but you're a part of the family. And you know, we have to give you a piece, and you gotta come in, you're worth $10 billion now. No, that's different, that's inheriting it. What if you're a comedy? What if something you do now, you realize it? No, but if the Sack Wealth, that's why this is valid. He didn't. He built up his life. That's why he wouldn't do it now. [2:24:07] You would do it if you were trapped in that environment with that actually. That's what determinism is. The idea behind it is you're shaped by all of the different circumstances you encounter. And to compare your circumstances to another circumstances are crazy. They don't make any sense. But I'm wondering, I'm wondering, just arguments say if they had said to me at a young age, you'll get out of comedy, the sacculars have this thing called oxy cotton, and it's really helping with cancer. And it's like, because that's how you get into it, right? Right. Yeah, but for sure you would have got out at an early age. There's like, if someone gave you a lottery ticket. If you got a lottery ticket and you won a hundred million dollars, you'd probably ruin your career when you were 21. A thousand percent. A hundred percent. Oh yeah. And 21 it would have. Well you wouldn't have gotten out of it. You would have taken it. No. You would have taken the money and you would have become a loser. No, I'm saying you wouldn't go out of the money No, you would have taken the money if you're if you don't have any money when you get money [2:25:08] It is the panacea. It is the elixir. It is the thing that exists that you didn't think was possible Now all of a sudden you're not worrying about bills which is 35% of everybody's fucking stress those wars Those prisons are are they're convincing themselves? No, no, these are dangerous drug addicts. We can't have them on the street. They're convincing themselves. Not lying. They're like lying themselves. Yeah, but you don't even have to convince yourself, man. That's a human dynamic that was exposed in a Stanford prison experiments. Yeah. If you get people, they have power over other people, they start abusing them almost instantly. Like you have to have like a very special if somebody tells you yes to do it. Yeah, but at the same time it's like no they're not totally debunked are you at the end of it these people decided that they'd wanted to get out of it and they got out of it but the the reality is the way they behaved with each other was documented. It was like leading them. Yeah but you couldn't lead me to do that. [2:26:06] You couldn't write now, but you could if I was 20. He was like they weren't really convinced, and they were like push hard or go. And it's like, okay, they weren't convinced they were actually doing it. There's been a lot of weird things about people in power. And one of the weirdest ones, the one of the weirdest ones, is there was people that were administrating electrical shock to a person. And they were told to do it by someone else so they did it. And it got to the point where they thought the person might be dying. And some people kept doing it, and some people did not. And there is a power dynamic that I think allows people to torture people, it allows people to kill people, whatever the fuck you are, if you're an Israeli, a Palestinian, if you're a Palestinian, Israeli. [2:27:00] You can kill someone, they're not even a human, that is the other. There's a fucking programming that exists in our mind because of all the tribal warfare Human beings have gone through over hundreds of thousands of years when the time we are prehistoric humans time We're a fucking modern humans. We have been killing each other for so fucking long that we have a program in us Where it's easy to other people. That's how the Holocaust happened. That's how what's happening in Ukraine is happening. What's happening in Israel is happening. You can decide that someone is something other than a human being. And they can get you to do that pretty fucking quickly. If they tap into that mindset, they tap into that programming, they can give you a button, they go hit him. But he said he's dying, hit him. Hit him. And they would hit a stream. They would have this. I have to say I say this with love. Tom's dad was in the Vietnam War. I don't think Tom's dad was a guy that wanted to ever kill anyone, but he had to in that programming. The thing I think is there's a disconnect with where we as Americans look at things on social media and we think we're not that [2:28:07] Karen. We're not that person. We'd never do it. But until you're in that moment, you don't know. You really don't know. There's a lot of normal GIs of Vietnam that were rape and vultures. You know, probably they didn't go in monsters. But they they were. If you can't connect, if you can't connect to the fact that that's in you. That's in you? I think you're lying to me. It's a possibility. You don't feel your throat is good. When you go into that, when you show up, you don't just go, well, the training, you do get trained to be a kid. That whole speech of like, they are training you to see the enemy as the enemy and somebody that you have to kill, right? So it's not day one. You're prepared over a series of months and it's a version of a brainwashing. They brainwash you to become a killer. Like this is good. But there's a pattern that you can follow in your head where you can destroy another human [2:29:03] being. That's what I have taught Mike Tyson. Yeah, he taught Mike Tyson that through hypnosis. He taught him the most effective way to think and to view you don't exist. He was telling them you're just the task is the only thing that's important. You don't exist. does the task of smashing this person is all that it is. And if you can think like that, that alleviates so much brain power. Maybe it's the guilt. And if you tell that to a soldier, you can get him to do some wild shit. And they do. And they do. You're dad, talk to you about that. Yeah. And later years, yeah. I'm curious, I would love to hear like the insight your dad had about that as a son Hearing a dad kid like going like yeah, I just had to kill people My dad's never killed me one but this he was like he had asthma But like but no, no, but I'm curious because we're talking about this like like [2:30:02] What was that as a son here in the rationale you have to accept you have to figure it out Yeah, and he was a great dad and it was a really kind loving guy, but I Mean if I can first. Oh, I love the Marine Corps. Yeah, love the Marine Corps Well, it imagine the bonds you make when you're literally fighting for life and death Yeah, and he had you know if you're a little he's a lieutenant So he has a platoon of 70 men under his command. So you feel also the responsibility of taking, and like, you know, he told me right before he died, like in the last year of his life that he thought about the men who died in his platoon every day, and I had never told me that before. I was like, what? He goes every day, I think about those guys that I lost. I was like, I had no idea. He never spoke about it. And he would tell me stories about different guys dying next to him, stepping on a mine, next to him, exploding three feet from him, getting shot. The worst one he said was a guy that to watch movies back then, you'd have to go to a base, [2:31:06] get a film canister and bring it back. And in a monsoon season, one of those guys went to get films just for entertainment. And he drowned in a monsoon on the way back. So it felt like a more meaningless death. It wasn't in combat. Things like that. He'd talk about that. And then also they do get this disconnect if you're in combat. It's not like you're talking about, could you kill someone. It's like you're in a world of killing. That's all that's happening around you. It's not, could you, you have to. You have to. And so then he was just like, yeah, yeah, that's when he started telling me, like, he's asking me as a kid, I mean, I ended up doing a bit about it. Let's try it. But I was just asking him as a kid. I could see wars. You see wars. And you're like, you see movies. And was in charge, I was a little tenant. I was like, and then later years, [2:32:07] he's like, well, I threw grenades into bunkers. And I was like, were there people in the bunkers? He was like, yeah. And he was like, yeah. And he was like, oh yeah. And then he also said, I mean, it became like this joke, but it was truly said, there's no better feeling than killing the enemy, right? Like in combat. Because they're all trying to kill the people around and they aren't killing people around. So yeah, he said they would pull bodies out of these holes, the Vietnamese are small people stature-wise. So they would hide in holes a lot of times, like holes in the ground. Kucchi tunnels. And they would throw grenades into there. And then when they'd pull them them out they'd be in half so they'd pull like a torso out You know and But he also said you know Losing men left and right like in your platoon. I mean it's devastating to you So the person you bonded with and and here's a training you're over there for a lie [2:33:01] Yeah, I think that's a part that they don't, a lot of people don't ever reconcile with if they're. That's kind of be the hardest. Yeah. You're over there committing atrocities for a lie. There's no reason for you to be there. Like they're not here. You're over there. The Gulf of Tonkin incident wasn't real. The Gulf of Tonkin too is something that even active duty people at the time didn't realize until 20, 30 years. You know what I mean? They're not. Well, that's Smendly Butler, the war is a racket. That's his whole, that article that he wrote from 1933. It was a very established general. The end of his career he writes what he was really doing, what he thought he was doing. It was really just like making things safer bankers, controlling resources. This is 33. It's called war is a racket. I recommend taking things safe. Talked about that before. I've talked about it every time I can because [2:34:02] people need to understand these patterns. They're repeating themselves forever because they're a part of Human behavior patterns. There are these natural patterns that exist in order to enable us to survive To survive you have to conquer your enemies control resources establish Safegrounds and that stuff can get out of hand if that's your whole business. If that's your whole business you'd be doing that forever then you find reasons to go to war. That war machine. Yeah. Eyes now are talked about at the end of his presidential term. Yeah. That's how you get the Hillary Clinton. It's still, it's still. It's thrown him. Yeah. Wait, is your dad so alive? Yeah. Is your dad so alive? Yeah, allegedly. You know my uncle, you know, my dad was active duty on the ground. My uncle flew over 600 missions in Vietnam, dropping bombs. On your mom's fuck, Vietnam. I mean, think about that. Think about those numbers though. That's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just that's it's a hundred times Jesus Christ imagine being the guy in the plane that drops the [2:35:08] Fucking nuke the first new you ever see the guy that did and he was like it fucked him up Oh, no one of them was like to that's just what it is like you know, you know, the big thing is they didn't just killed 150,000, but they didn't know if their plane was gonna let, be able to, like, get away from the bomb. And go over. So they'd be like, fucking fly crazy altitudes, try to get out of the bomb. Isn't that crazy? Like, first time, you're not exactly sure. Like, you see Oppenheimer? Yeah. To Maison. I read the book. Shut up. No, you don't read I don't even read I do read I don't know if I read I read like 10% of what I listen to Books on tape, but I wish you read for less, huh? I wish you read less. Why be easier to hang out with you Joe you know It's like I can't you're like I knew me when I was stupid. Yeah, I know I wish I got to show [2:36:05] I got the early Joe the dumb Joe. That was the my favorite Joe. This Joe like before you discovered a book. Oh, yeah. I remember I remember when you got curious. I remember it. I didn't have a platform where I can get people to talk to as long as you can keep from moon landings or aliens or pyramids, you're good. Lians always wondered, what's up? I can't help it, Joe. And I was like, I don't know, it's really hard to explain. And then you hung out with it the night, I don't know what you were talking about, because I just stopped listening. But you were like, about inclusions and Bob Lazar and the fucking... Yeah, we were talking about this lady, Diana Paisolka, who was on the podcast, who is, she's a religious scholar and she was talking about how there is a growing theory that these experienced people having with UFOs, UAPs, alien abductions, this is not something [2:37:01] from another planet, it's something that's always been here. It's an interdimensional being that there's a bunch of different variables that have to come into play for these things to be able to pass forth into our realm, but that they're somehow and other, monitoring us and have always been. And that these crash retrievals, they call them donations. Best these things. Best these things. Best them donations. Best, most sex conversation I've ever had. Hope program was right. I wanna be angels with you up in heaven. Yeah, it might, it doesn't. It was a cool, it's fucking. Chung would joke for fucking 10 minutes and then we had sex and she was like, Jesus. She was like, hey, I love that idea. But there's angels with real. It's cool. I. I think if you stopped and thought about how many cultures believe in some greater power that's above everything that they intuitively know is guided you in a moral and ethical direction, there's gotta be some to it. [2:38:00] Yeah, they're suckering to it. I agree, suck my dick, Louis CK, you're right. Yeah, okay. He can suck my dick. Why do He doesn't believe it cuz he didn't believe in anything Well, that's a fair way to believe you want to just do it based entirely on evidence That's a very reasonable for startl atheists because he's like you're just making up a reason it's this yeah But I like that more I like that more I think the universe is God That's what I think you're going I think this idea of God creating the universe is God. That's what I think you're going. I think this idea of God creating the universe is silly I think the whole thing is God. I think it's it's God in the fact that it's the entire creation of everything that exists that we can measure All of that is the universe and if you read the Bible the Bible talks about in the beginning There was light boy that sounds a lot like the Big Bang Boy that sounds a lot like the birth of the universe. I think these fucking people that wrote the Bible were recounting stories that were told down to people that had a scientific understanding of the birth and death of the universe just like we do now. Maybe even more than we do now. And then they got hit by asteroids. And then it was thousands of years for civilization [2:39:02] reestablished itself. And the stories had been told down, handed down, forever and ever, and by the time people wrote them down, they were goofy and they were goofy and there's like God created the earth in six days and the whole story of Adam and Eve and there's probably a lot To all of it that's true and it's probably a historical record that was told to people that were essentially barbarians that were surviving from the collapse of a superior civilization, superior to what we have today. And there's a lot of real physical evidence of that, there's a lot of archaeological evidence of that, and it seems to be a direction that a lot of people are headed into when they understand how often we get hit with asteroids. Somewhere around 11,800 years ago we got pelted and it stopped civilization in its tracks and we had a rebuild from scratch and the people that survived were probably monsters. Monsters, the Mongols and the fucking hordes and the barbarians. They were the most harsh people because that was the only way you survived because there [2:40:04] was no longer a technologically advanced civilization. It was all just barbarism and there's very few animals to eat because there's a nuclear winter because the sky is filled with what the impact of this massive meteor that slams into earth and kills 70% of all the people. And then about 6,000 years later, they start figuring out mathematics again. Wow. This is why this podcast. That's what I think. What do you think as a, you grew up religious. What does your take on God and your reward? Yeah, they said the years were different. So when they said it was created 5,000 years ago, they're like, that's our understanding of the years. They're like, this guy's just, this guy left two hundred and sixty, but like that's just, I don't know, some seasons passed. When they wrote that, they didn't even have a son. Right. So they're like, how old are you? Like, I don't know. We don't have calendars. How do you believe in a higher power? No. No. die? What why do you when what happens when you die when you die? I want to forget you [2:41:07] I'll be a man Harold you know I've worked really hard so that doesn't happen You know that's one one of my biggest things about working is I wonder Because you they say you died twice you die when you die and then you die in the last person that remembers you dies I try to get a great yards I try to like look at the gray beards and see who they are Try to Nate say their name and keep my life a little longer. Whoa. Yeah, it's creepy So there's no Sometimes I call my dead friends on their cell phone numbers They were gonna say nope. They never got that number again That's interesting. Yeah, I why I don't like the death thing. I don't believe in it, but i don't leave it death yeah i have one phone that i keep active because i have uh... text message chain from anthony bourdain and a uh... voicemail from a buddy might have died who player no david olin my uh... in private investigator friend [2:42:00] was the funny sky ever met the never did stand up uh... he was uh... amateur comic and he was he was a private investigator that lost his driver's license because he was drunk driving So he needed an assistant and so yes, we really just needed someone to drive him and so I was like private investigators assistant That'd be a cool job. So I just start working for this guy and he died a few years back I mean left me a voicemail. It's fucking awesome. What was the last text and the border? That's a good question. Please let him call you. No, there was a restaurant and I Took a photo of this chef that was prominently figured on the wall. I go who's this guy and it's Marco Pierre White Know he is Google that guy. He's one of the most extraordinary chefs that's like ever existed. He's like a true artistic genius. That's a chef. Where's he based that up? He's inspired. He's inspired. Yeah, he's English. He's amazing. He's a really fast-ending guy. There's a ton of videos of him [2:43:07] Talking about food and talk the way he approaches food is the way, you know, Rembrandt approach paintings I mean, he's a God. He's a wizard. I mean, he's legitimate. He's 100% all-in. I believe now the way he's he sets up These insane restaurants and I think one of them is using now from a farm, if I remember correctly, that he runs. He's certainly done that in the past where they source all their ingredients. From that, love it, love it. And they set the menu. I mean, it's just, it's cuisine taken to a level of precision that it just doesn't It's not just food the food experience ahead in Asia by the way it was unbelievable. Yeah, I saw your post It was unbelievable. So how did you know to go a lot of it was that Philip Lee was there or friend Philip Lee Oh, he was in Tokyo tell you [2:44:02] Oh, that's amazing there a month. Oh, that's amazing So he like we went to an omakase sushi place for lunch that I was like this is Absolutely insane a tap and yaki place at a hotel. Here's that well One of the things oh my dick sort. Oh my god. So tap and yaki like oh he said this thing that I was like Oh, I didn't realize this that in the, a lot of times when you stay at a hotel, you go, we gotta get out of the hotel to find something good to eat. Right? Like a hotel restaurant, you're like, it's shit. It's a lot of stuff. But the thing in Tokyo is that hotels, your fucking high at hotel, has a restaurant that you're like, I wish I could eat here every night. Like the food, you know, it's that thing of like the ingredient is the star. So like a salad, you have a basic salad that to me though is like the best tomato you've ever had the baddest. We had King crab, they go, [2:45:00] do you want King crab at this tap and Yonky place? And I was like, yeah, like, can crab and I'm thinking of it all the times I've had it before and they bring it out raw. It had just been brought in from a ship earlier that day and then they just season it, put a little butter on the like the griddle there and prepare it. It was the best. I never had anything like that before. The Wagyu Mafia, which is like a theater performance. It's six table top and it's just 13 different variations of Wagyu beef. Wow. I mean, and then we went to Hong Kong and we had, there's this place called New Poon Job Club. It's a one star mission place Indian food that was- What's one star mean? So one star. It's level. It's like that was... What's one star mean? So one star... It's level. It's like, yeah, there's three star possibilities. So one star is that this is, if it's accessible to you, it's worth going to eat here. Okay. Two stars is like, it's worth going out of your way to eat here. Three stars is it's worth making a trip to go to this place just to eat here. Oh want to one of those. So the ones, yeah we went to a three-star Singapore that was called Zen that was just unbelievable but in Hong Kong that [2:46:09] Indian place their kitchen was smaller than the space we're in right now. Whoa. And they had a how many seats? They had probably six tables and they had a cylinder like a ceramic cylinder and they brought us into the kitchen with coal down there, and they just take sticks, and they put it in there with chicken and beef and everything, and it gets to like, I don't know, I'm at 1,000 degrees in there, but every dish came out and you're like, this is, everything we ate was like, this is the best thing I've ever eaten, you know? But the three-star in Singapore really was one of those experiences where the experience starts when you walk in. When you walk in. You know, see it waiting room experience. Did you ever see the movie The Menu? Yes. Isn't it amazing? I love that. That's so great. Me and Bobby Kelly went to Noma in Copenhagen. No. That Noma is the motherfucker, right? [2:47:01] Yeah. It was like Best of Us like best restaurant three out of five years. And the guy was like, we were on a festival, he's like, let's just go see it. They're not gonna get you in. And they go, hey, these guys are copper comedians visiting. Wait, hold on, is this pre-lap band surgery? Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. And anyway, I'm taking an in and I was like, yeah, call Bobby. He's with the promoter. Bobby's like, now we're short of pizza. And the guys hit him in the face. But that pizza don't go with it right now. And Bobby said, I'll eat the pizza also. 26 course lunch. They don't have lemons because it's not local. They don't want to use local. Yeah. So use ants that give you that lemony zest. Ant. A fried moss. Ant, there was its ants. Ant, there was a paring, a booze paring fried moss. It's great. There was a booze paring. Bobby's like, I'm an alcoholic canine because we have a juice paring for you. There's no level that they won't accommodate. Accommodate. Accommodate. Where we were in the kitchen, there were three guys peeling walnuts, the little browned casing on a walnut and I was like who are those guys like their high level chefs I'm like what are they doing? They don't want that shit getting stuck in your teeth [2:48:08] That's the thing this is one of the things you wish you could share right there You wish you could share this experience with everybody like just so they get to Fucking ants. Yeah, and you didn't you just do it. You don't think twice. It's amazing All right, What's better? It's a she into a plan or like that high and sushi or pasta in Europe. When you're in Italy, and the food's good too. No, but I mean, man, like what like if you had everything, have to be a competition with you. I'm just trying to start a conversation. It's starting to be a big team. Yeah, some of that. It's trying to start a conversation. It's starting to be a big team. Yeah, some of that shit's great too. A local small body. Hamming pot which and Hamming tortillas? Listen man. Taco and that's what it is. If I had two foods to choose for the rest of my life, only based on flavor. It's Italian and Mexican. Hunter. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean since great, but I like to get drunk. And I like a fucking burrito. Yeah, I like those chicken burritos we used to get [2:49:09] in San Diego when we go to La Jolla. Our carless. Oh, yeah. Did you ever go to that? Yeah, that's like that really watery red sauce that was on the chicken. Oh my God. You're gonna Eucazone. What? Eucazone Burmant Vermont LA? No, it's a parking lot with a Like a hut like a stand look like a like where you would go to get a parking ticket That's the kitchen whoa and she got the James Beard Award really Yeah, really and it's like just tacos the way she made them and Yeah, and I guarantee you that's my little chest of that would love to eat it you cuz Bro if it wasn't for the fact that it's not good for you I'd be I'd be Mexican food every day Mexican food and time food I'd be in linguine We really can left yeah if food was just calories purely and there was no nutrition That's the all restaurant dude. There was no concern. What's good for your body and bad for your body? [2:50:01] Yeah, oh my god, I'm being certain pasta all the long. Yeah. That's what I beat in La Zanya. It was if food was all just just every food was equal. A rigatoni, North China. Oh, uh, uh, what's the one with it with the egg yolk in it? I'm here right now. Oh, yeah, they mix it up. Carbonara. Carbonara is the fucking greatest. Have you read the Felix and Venice. No, I've never pulled up. She's a pretty wee. He's a pull up. Evan Funky, he's got three restaurants now. He's got Mother Wolf, he's got Funky. I've been to Mother Wolf. Oh my god. Awesome. I don't even think about going gluten free when I go to that joint. No, Mother Wolf is the shit. For real? Yeah I like that carnivore diet go fuck itself. Like we're here from mouth pleasure. Evan is a wizard. He's been on the podcast before. He has? Yeah, he's a wizard. It's just where you see if there are just about it. We're thinking about another level. Brother Roy Choi, friend of Tom and we, Tom and I used to do dinner with Roy Choi all the time in the next door to me. [2:51:00] He revolutionized taco trucks good from the important. He said to me one time, we went to dinner for his daughter's birthday and he said, I said, what do you have for dinner? And he said, I'm going vegan. I said, really, he said, I'm going vegan for a year. So I feel like meat has dominated my palate. And I want to really challenge my palate to find flavor of those guys do it for a new while and then you go wow that's that's dedication to the craft that's fucking next level man that's the fucking thing I couldn't do that yeah I could like I don't go eat squash for years to I can even rib eye steaks 365 days yeah I'll be fine you gave me twosons yeah let's go know the rogues there are two rog Tommy terminates the best to the best guy Too I'm into 24 milligrams. Hey Drop drop on the ground Don't be scared with your mouth. Do with your mouth. There's only random people from all walks of life [2:52:03] Are you sad that's even anytime? walks alive. Harry said that's even anytime. Yeah, it's not the safest. It's more certainly up at the bottom. At least triple the most adorable. Seeding Toys for protecting my parks. You own it? You own it. You got what? I love the Seeding Toys first protect my park. Why? I don't know. I like where you are. Right here. Yeah. Switch it up. Switches up. I'm not in love with sunglasses either. Oh, no, they have to go sunglasses when they get fucked up They did let shame be shane. It lets Tim Dylan be Tim Dylan. You got to give a band the option of sunglasses You have to really yeah, yeah, yeah, what are you doing? How a lot of people Here let me show you mine. He's gonna piss into a jar There's a bathroom. Are you are are you are closer? Are you are Are you alright? No, it's not a closer one. No, don't do that. You got a lot of sack, bro. I get a lot of sack. How do great dick. Your sack looks like you lost 500 pounds. Thank you. You have like 80 pounds in your sack. Let's see your. [2:53:00] Joe, let's go viral. No, no, no, no your balls bigger than your dick? No, they're regular. Yeah. Yeah It's no hard time coming nope real no, what do you think about when you come? I really don't have a man don't piss in the fucking Why don't you go to the bathroom just take care of this kid go out there You walk right there take your take your headphones off and go walk out are you? Oh go walk it don't you go to the bathroom? Just pinch your dick. This point. Go out there. You walk right there. Take your headphones off and go walk out. Ari, go walk out. Don't piss in my mug. I'll take it. Just walk them both out now. Like you should have just left before. I should have left before. How much piss you have left in you? Do you really have a and you do piss, it's one of the great feelings of the line of work. It's so good and it's one of those things we're ashamed of. You know, so we don't talk about it. Like we really appreciate a good solid piss. If you even drink in beer, that's zippered up. Don't zip your dick in here. How many times you said that that's that's stop me from going bear back I thought like bear back was like a wild person's way to do it. Yeah, yeah, I don't need no fucking underwear [2:54:08] I'm not pussy you know underwear a couple times I caught my dick and my I know I pull you dick out in front of everybody at Vulcan I know You did I pants them. I pants some during kill Tony his ass was hanging out. I was like let's go I pants of Derek Kilt Tony his ass was hanging out. I was like let's go You get you get a little shaft caught in a zipper that'll change that'll do Good fucking yeah, you got your underwear you need underwear I know where I'm important no no no, okay, what do you just feel you just feel great though, huh? It's very in a suit pant It was made to seek things You feel like a wild person, you just fall out. If I have, I must feel good with no underwear. You remember those days where the girls were getting caught getting out of limos with their pussy's? Yup, pretty spayers. On purpose. On purpose, on a percent. Because the camera was down. The camera was literally focused on their like from like down low like like like a match. Just like a wildlife photographer. [2:55:06] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to me when I learned that a lot of those people that are always in pop-rock that they give a heads up to the pop-rock. Oh yeah. You know, I didn't know that originally and you're like, oh, they call. No. I'm having a beard. And then they go, oh. Oh. Yeah, exactly. Jesus. How do you deal with pop-rockcy? How do I deal with them? Do you engage or do you just tap out? I mean, the only thing I think I deal with is probably autographed people that just are, they go, You never had like pop rocks that come up to you? Yeah, I did it on Melrose and in LA, but they're not like, Are you generous or are you just like, Angle play yourself? No, the TMZ guys are good guys. They're good guys. [2:56:05] Just making money. I was talking to some hot foreign chick at the patio of the store and I was coming up and the guy was like, hey man, when you're done with the day, can I get an interview with you? TMZ, I was like, yeah, sure. They talked her for about 20 minutes then she left and I was Nice. That was fucking awesome. No, there's a little area. That's a good move. There was like 20 of them outside of a store once, and then they all surrounded me, and I was like, you're not here for me. And they're like, no, so and so was shopping. Over here. They're just nice. Yeah, most of them are just people, man. And then they're also get abused all the time, but some of them are front and cramps. Some of them are like evading privacy. Yeah. Do you ever see a line of greatest players and federalists? Taped to people's phones. This is crazy. Taped in their emails. You worried about that? No. Not really. I assume everyone is listening to every phone call. I mean, do you think of that when you text? 100%. [2:57:01] I think of that. Yeah, and I still send memes shut the fuck up. I'll defend these in court bitch. These are funny What's what's his name Pete Lee? Yeah, Pete Lee You know the story maybe better than I do the comment. No, Pete Lee to come at comic He had a stalker who was trying to kill him. Oh boy, and it was really bad It had to go to court and he had talked apparently about a stalker on Legion of Skanks and they read the transcripts of Legion of Skanks in court. No. And it murdered. Oh my God. Everyone was laughing hysterically and they're like, fuck this guy's guilty. Yeah. Do you hear that sword Norton told on the podcast? Who? Norton had a legal issue with this guy that he'd criticized on the podcast. Oh, and he read the state, we go into detail. Go into detail. I'm doing that. They read this transcript during the podcast and people were laughing and the guy got humiliated so he decided to settle the case. [2:58:01] That guy went on to shoot a judge's son what he went to the house pretend he was like a delivery guy and shot the son of this judge he was trying to kill the judge and then she got away or she wasn't there I don't remember what happened but this this is the same guy that norton was involved in a lawsuit with for making fun of he was he a woman's advocate, or a man's advocate. So he ran out of the advocate. So I think he's the same person that protested Eliza from not mistaken. Or what? Oh, having an all female. So for Joe, yeah. Suspect and fatal shooting at home of Judge Esther Salas described himself as an anti-feminist lawyer once argued a case before the judge. Oh, that's just a female thing. Yeah, well, she was a female judge. He showed up at her house and the fucking killed her son. It's so crazy, man. That's really scary. Yeah, that's terrible. I love that Norman or that Jim Norton is happy. [2:59:01] I'm glad you love that he's happy. I love it. I love seeing him happy man. It makes me so happy. Another glass of water for you. I just worried you were gonna go piss in that. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Guys, grow the fuck up. Whoa, grow the fuck up. I'm weird. You look kind of like a person. I'm gonna wear this thing to say. Everybody pees with a solid glass of piss right next to your radar. Yeah, the thing he's doing with his wife on YouTube. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love it, man. I love, I love, I'll say this out loud. I love seeing people succeed. I love seeing people win. I love flowers. Jim's underrated. Hard flowers. Jim's underrated. Hard core. He's underrated. He's one of the best comics of our generation. His heyday on open Anthony. He made an up with the rough. He made. He made. That's an understatement right there. He made it. It was weird to be that it was open Anthony and Jim was on it. [3:00:00] I was like, it seems kind of weird. I know. I know. I know. I know. Wasn't what it was until Jim showed up. Yeah. They were at Boston. They were at the same. They were at Boston. They were at the same. They were at Boston. They were at Boston. They were at Boston. They were at Boston. They were at Boston. They were at Boston. They were at Boston. day and in all fairness is because of that fucking show, but it's also because of Jim. Yeah, it's because that show gave people the opportunity to just hang out. And I remember when Ari and I used to do it in the early days, it was just like, this is a place where you can just hang out with comics. There was no script. There's no script. There's a lot of stuff around. And also they were cool about like you were a headliner in a name and they were like, who's this? Like, is it my opener? Is comic up? Give him like, yeah. I would tell them I got a funny guy who's coming with me. I'm gonna bring him in. They'd be like, cool. Okay, Tommy. Tommy's one of those guys. So hard. That's really hard. How'd you bomb? I was totally not ready for it. I was not a fan of the show, but I didn't listen to it. I didn't know you'd let it. I went in there, and I was just, [3:01:06] I said a couple of words, and I just kind of sat in the pocket, and then Ricky, your vase came in. Oh wow. And then I started talking to Ricky as the show was going on. Just like, hey, what's going on? What are you planning to do? I'll see that episode. And then, uh, you're sick, I had a radio. And Ricky and I just kept talking and then I'd look over and I'd see the guys like, what are you fucking doing? Yeah. You might be the most epically in retrospect horrific comic taberdiu radio. What? Without a doubt, because Tom is never even a fuck about anything ever in his life ever Okay, so when you did Tom when you did Bob and Tom did like right out your thing You want to say it Tom was like I'll just figure it out Yeah Never give a fuck they asked me to do that too. I'm like I'm not doing that I really upset. I got a fuck to upset like [3:02:00] And I go we're gonna figure it out That kind of comment. This is like it. This is nonsense. You're doing some 1985 nonsense. I didn't like that at all. And this is not 1985, get out of here. They were nice, but they were nice. Tom was doing that before anyone else. Like with absolute love, when you see all the comics coming on and fucking up radio and TV that they're doing now, it's a little bit based on the fact that you really did not give a fuck. Hang on. A lot of guys didn't. Including Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan, Tracy Morgan. Yeah, it was a bad name. It was a bad name. It was a bad name. It was a bad name. It was a bad name. It was a bad name. It was a bad name. slap it as well. That's what I'm making call. My philosophy on it was basically, I think podcast, radio, television, all go can go really well based on the host's interest. What I had was, I had a real personal fuck you to a host that was like, I don't really [3:03:03] care who you are or what you're doing here. I'm just, this is what we do. And so if they were like, you're at the club this week, I would go, yeah. And then they were like, be funny. And I'd be like, why don't you go suck your fucking mom's dick. And then they would go, what the heck is this partner right there? So that's why you came out with That was why DJ that amount came out was so it came out to this specific person that came out just because I was like I don't want to do this TV never doing I don't want to do it. I never have always Actually obligated they just make it so what they would end up doing is the funny bones would go Hey, if you would if you would do this you know, we bring people every week, no matter whether they're big or small, sell tickets or not. So when I started to sell tickets, they'd be like, oh, they go, oh, your shows are sold out this week. I'd be like, cool. And you're doing good morning heart for tomorrow. And I'd be like, why? And it's like because we do it every week. And I'd go, but it's not to sell tickets right because the tickets are sold just to promote the club [3:04:05] Yeah, so they're like no but get up at five and go do it And I'm like all right, so that kind of came from that but before that I'm saying like like even like I did Kimmel last night You when you go there you're like all right I'm gonna like you know you do a pre-interview with a producer It's still rides on the fact that he's engaged and wants it to go well. Right? And so he totally was and it was really fun and it went well. But in the radio days, a lot of times those radio hosts, sometimes there's like the Philly guys, Preston and Steve's. Preston and Steve's girls. So they come in, like you come in and they're like, they know questions, they know what you've been doing. So that makes the experience fun. They're fun, they're happy to see you. But you go into places where they're just like, they're literally like, you're born a Cincinnati, and you go, yeah, and they're gonna go. Trying to lead you to a school. Yeah, so tell us something about that. You're like, what? So I just, I didn't go. Oh, if I left that place and you, the hosts were like, [3:05:07] I didn't really like you. I'd be like, I don't give a shit that you don't like me. I'm not here to fucking dance with you. You have ridden that horse into the grave. I love that about you. Is that you gotta remember, this was before, when you were doing that, the only white, no one white horse in was doing that Tracy Morgan was a famous person would go in and be wild on on thing and everyone We fucking love we share with each other Tracy was the Tom was doing it In earnest Like fuck off like everyone can find you at the same time. I was going to the same places and being like oh god Please play a Tracy Morgan one I'm handsome and being like, oh god, please play a Tracy Morgan one. Look at me on that. Look at that. I'm handsome. Not gonna see why I got so many kids. Texas, your past, so I'm telling you, now I'm with the Jaguars last night. I love my ladies here. Wow. Oh my god. Yeah, so again, not family in the States. I'm gonna be pregnant. Somebody will get pregnant while I'm in town two days watch two days Michael did pregnant So yeah, it's always these guys, you know, it's it's the same guy in every market. Oh boy [3:06:10] Yeah, but they're loving it. They're loving it and Tom will go and then do that But he would do it his own way, you know, and it was so fucking Awesome, man, cuz so many of us myself included would just suck a dick and be like Because so many of us myself included would just suck a dick and be like, we're not sweet to you in the end, Bob, for the rest of Bob. No, I just agree. What you would do is you would go in with fun energy. You go with Bob, and you go, I'm gonna make this fun. I would drink on those. You go, yeah, I love this. You go, I make it fun. I'm coming on, I already do it. Get at it. Get out of here. Oh, are you gonna hard month coming? What's your hard month? I'm going hard. We're celebrating Tommy. What? In February? Yeah. Fuck, don't bring it to me. We trying to do in February. I'm doing stuff. We're trying to move to London to let those bitches know. Hey, are you guys going to run our 5K? Wait, is it a specific place or just wherever you are I want to bike it 5k by May. Where is it jelly rolls doing it? [3:07:05] Cam Haines doing is a specific place or anywhere They're gonna we're gonna do a 5k where we're picking a spot. We're wearing a wear my ass. Yeah Let's do it. I'll show you Louie's doing it great call. All right. He's doing it No Tim Dillon's I'm telling you They're right now Tim Dill's on Tim Dill's not gonna kill Tim Dill's not gonna have a headache Tim Dill's doing it Tim Dill's planning on doing it Tim Dill's doing it Tim Dill's not doing it Shane Gillis is doing it Jamie Louis CK is doing it That's 3.5 miles They're not doing it It's a 3.1 buddy Tim Dill's not doing it He said he was It's great Is there a first place prize? No, it's just completed, I think it's the game. Oh, but I just remember the best radio one was when I went in. Do you ever have somebody and they go sit here and they're doing the thing? They're just waiting. Yeah, just waiting. And they are, we're coming back from break. All right, so then they walk you in the room and they sit you here. [3:08:01] Then the guy could not be less interested. He's like reading the paper. What radio station? Tell it. So he's in the Northeast. It's in the Northeast. But he goes, all right, we'll be back from the break in 30 seconds and I go, okay, he goes, then just take over. And I go, what? He goes, just take over. And I go, what are you talking about? And he goes, it's just your show. You have shows to speak and just do whatever you want to do. And I go, I'm not going to do anything. And then it's like 10 seconds. He's like, what do you mean you're not going to do anything? I go, I'm not going to do anything. If you don't ask me something, I'm not going to say a single fucking word. And he goes, and he goes Last week he took all his clothes off and I go how did that play on radio? And then it was like you're on and this guy was fucking scrambling like He read my fake bio [3:09:02] I had a fake bio. Yeah, that's his internet. So it was all like made up and it was like you played for the Bengals and he was like, yeah. He was like, he was like, he was asking me all the fake questions and he said, full, start sweating. He starts sweating and he has his co-host who doesn't know how to also navigate, but they were just, to me they embodied like lazy, disinterested and you know, they were like unhappy in this market doing what they do and they were just like take over. I was like, fuck you. Yeah, that's the best thing about him. I would have scrapped He really doesn't give a fuck you just go not You realize you realize how many times me and you yeah, maybe maybe I'm saying me maybe not me and you but like Just went in and did the dance. Yeah And that's why I So I'm I look up to you because it's a coolest thing about you is that you really don't give a fuck. It's so cool to not give a fuck. It's so sexy. When you give a fuck, it's a little sad sometimes. I think I give a fuck about, sorry, you don't give a fuck. [3:10:00] Yeah, yeah, right. But when you don't give a fuck about, I really don't give a fuck. Tom, I really don't give a fuck about, I really read the comments. I do not give a fuck. I do not give a fuck. You're the perfect amount of fucks. Yeah, I think it's like a balance. No, it's the right balance. No, it's detrimental to what? Him. How so? I've I read his comments. I'd be like, start giving a fuck. Yeah, but who's writing those comments? You can't The people that are writing them, you're getting a disproportionate amount of failures. You're getting a disproportionate amount of people that are just, yeah, for sure. But it's not, if you're trying to get like a control study of the population, general population, if you're doing a pharmaceutical study, you have a bunch of old people, a bunch of young people, different walks of life, you're going to do it right. You do it with a bunch of biological variability. The variability of people that are wanting to comment negatively online is like, you can find those people. They don't have this shit together. There are a mess. There are a mess. Some of them are kids. There's like, no rhythm. A lot of them are kids. They're really young. Some of them they think it's fun. They don't they're trying to get a reaction. They don't know what to do They just try to like shit on you and see if you respond. It's a nonsense way to communicate [3:11:09] It is nonsense. You don't know who they are You don't know what their background is. You don't know whether their opinion is valid You're accepting negativity and human beings have a natural propensity to look towards negative things because your brain is programmed to look for intruders and dangerous things. So you could look at a hundred people in your village that you love, you see one person that doesn't love you to stand on a hillside, you know, 50 yards away, you get scared. Like, oh shit. What's that? And that's what that is. That's what comments are. Just, you're hijacking your natural system. That's why I think you think the positive ones are I love them. He says no no no because I remember I there was a time I was getting negative when the movie came out I was getting a lot of negative shit and Texted Tommy. I was like can you just take a look at it and see if it's real you know, I can't look at it It fucks me up. So I just stopped looking at it. I heard someone do it for me [3:12:05] But I don't trust them. I mean trust him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. I'm a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. You're a badass. certain amount of people the fucking hate everything because you're big hey hey we were talking in the green room the other night I was talking about this person who was this uh... they were talking about all time Gregor Tarrist and he said Hendrix was mostly noise yeah like that is the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard of it is kind of impressive that's like now you like him you just don't like him as much as everyone else does it's just it's a contrary and perspective a lot of people like to do that too. Yeah, just shit on the thing is the anything. They don't suck. They just you think they're a B plus and it's also fun. Do you think it's fun sometimes sometimes just to provoke? Yeah, it is. Me not me not me. You definitely you are. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, your number one at that. You love it. Just to provoke. Just like let me get a rise. Yeah, it's a fun way to initiate a conversation. Yeah, man [3:13:05] Not not me. I like I just I cruise by Try to keep my head down read those comments on This you do you just said no, no, no, no Tommy's you don't read yours. No, I don't ever not ever never ever known Never late at night taking a shit three in the morning Never ever ever known never late at night taking a shit three in the morning Never I never I Post so that I can see if it's positive Let me see if people have a good reader. I know no. No. No. So wait. Why would you believe I didn't because I'm different than you How so don't you think oh You don't think you think we're the same. I think we're so similar. That's fascinating. Buddy, me and you, if we sub in bed together, we fight over the sheets. I don't think so. I'm not a sheet fighter. I would want you to have an equitable amount of the sheets. I was soon, there's enough sheets for two people. What part of you? You're not a twin. [3:14:01] What part of you? You have to identify with me a little bit? I know I drive you nuts. That's interesting. I know I drive you nuts at times. How do you guys feel about what he's saying? About you guys being... The same thing? I mean, no, I think there's similarities in everyone, but I think you're pretty different people. But I think as far removed as can stay in my friend group. Okay. Here's the, I told you what I, I think you what I think. I tell you how I feel about you. I tell you how I feel about you. I tell you how I feel about you. I tell you how I feel about you. I tell you how I feel about you. When Nadiaz says, I didn't get bullied. I had a big brother. Right. I think like I had a big brother. Right. I think you're my big brother. No, sweetie. I do. I feel like I have a big brother. I've said that to you and I've said that to you. I think you guys approach things very differently. We do. And I think I drive you fucking nuts. No, I don't. I have to. I know I drive me nuts. He drove me nuts during sober You bring out this competitive spirit. You bring that out. Does have fucking monster in there. [3:15:05] Let him out of the case. But I love your monster. Yeah. Like the way a younger brother would like needling his big brother, I like your monster. Here's the big, one of the big things I think is super different is that he approaches things of like, all right, if I wanna be proficient at this thing, I'm gonna do it all the day, because that's how you get good, the consistency and the discipline. And you go, you know what? I think I can wing this shit. I can't really, I'm gonna do that. And that's one of the big philosophical differences of how you approach life. Yeah. But I listen to podcasts all the time. And he does love the way your brain thinks. I would never listen to podcasts all the time. And he does love the way your brain thinks. I would never listen to my podcast. But I like the way your brain thinks. I'm just curious, that's the way my brain thinks. I'm always just trying to figure out why I think what I think and why this other person thinks what they think. But I do the same in a flip flop. [3:16:02] Like I like the way your brain thinks, but it's not the way my brain thinks. I have no discipline. I don't like discipline. One of the cool things about hanging out with different walks of life, you are obviously become very successful with claiming you have no discipline. You do have some discipline. You work out all the time. You know what secret time that I go to you, I lean on you in times of real need. Like when I, what, what, what was with my cardiologist and I was like, Hey man, I'm lost. I don't want to do. And you were like card, uh, carnival. And, and so I, I do that. I do that. But the problem is, and I would say this honest, honestly, just to Ari was privately, but like, we knew you before you were you. Like we knew you before this thing. So like I know you, I know you, and I know who you've become, and I obviously respect that. I really do, but like my Joe guy I knew is you, and then I, I don't think I've changed that much. [3:17:02] It's a perception of you this changed. Yeah, and so everyone else falls into that with a lot of famous people. They fall into what they think of someone, but then, so they don't get treated as who they really are. I think I've improved my perspective on things and the way I treat people, but you've grown in the same person. You're a better person. I mean, honestly, you're an amazing person, But, but I will always know you as the dude that walked me into his house. I will never know you as this thing. Like, this thing is pretty fucking insane. It's just like cool for you, but that's not- But my version of it is fairly small. You've been pretty good at keeping your head straight. Because I hang around the same people, I go to the club, I go to the key ring. I work out, I do all the things I have to do. It's not just that I have new friends. It's just like, I fucking torture myself. So like my perspective is balanced. Like the worst thing that happens during my day is probably not as bad as what I've done to myself. So like I go into every day with like a baseline. [3:18:01] I'm like, I can handle shit. That hasn't changed in you at all. No, it's the best way to regulate things. Like what Henry Rawls was saying in that essay, it's the best way to regulate things. It's the best way to keep a perspective on things. You don't want to become a tyrant. You don't want to become enamored with power and enamored influence. I'm not interested in that. You're not a guy who says, do you know who I am? I'm not interested. You're not a guy who says do you know who I am? I'm not interested. You don't need to I say if you don't know I if you don't know I am I'm happy. I love to talk to you. It doesn't know me It's gonna be shocking. It's gonna be shocking. It's gonna be fun talk talk to me when was the last time you had that or someone was like You can tell what do you do for a living what? Sometimes people bullshit you it's great. Sometimes people pretend they don't know who you are Tommy's got friends that I've met that I go what do you do for living and I get fucking angry I go How do you not know who I am? The dentist or whatever the guy lives next door to you. Yeah, so that's what you do for living. Oh fucking Shut down. I had this fancy fancy lunch once with Eric Von Danik. [3:19:05] I love it. Eric Weinstein invited me to this lunch with Eric Von Danik and Eric Von Danik is the one who wrote the chariot to the gods. He wrote that book about ancient aliens coming down here and building the pyramids and all this wild shit. And he knew that I was gonna... He knew I knew everything about this guy. I knew everything about his book. I watched his about his book, and I watched his documentary multiple times, seeing all the criticisms about it. I wanna have this conversation with him, find out why he thinks the way he thinks. But when he said, what do you do for a living? Because he didn't know who I was. I was like, I'm a comedian. And wine style started laughing, and he goes, wow, I'm a comedian. And he started explaining the podcast and all the different stuff. But I was like, just tell me what you think. Tell me what you think and why you think. But if you ask me what I do. It's going to change the dance. Yeah. It's also, it's like, I liked that he didn't know I was. Like, this is wonderful. Yeah, this is wonderful. This is a nice conversation. [3:20:00] Totally. Totally and I respectfully why do you believe this and why do you ignore all the evidence? That seems to lean to an advanced civilization that built this and that we're we've ever rebuilding of advanced Civilizations today that's much more plausible But he's his whole business is sort of once you have an initial assertion You write a book about it make a documentary about it everybody's gonna say like that's you can't change your opinion Because that book's still on the shelf. I bought your fucking book your books bullshit The books what I thought back then I didn't know any better. All right But that was a good one. It's funny. You don't know who they are. I know everything about him Yeah, I had studied him for so long. I had studied his field. I'd watched his film multiple times because his film asks real questions. How the fuck did they do this? There's some stones in Lebanon and some fucking crazy quarried stones. How the fuck were they planning on moving this? [3:21:03] Well they had a band in the stone because there was a crack in it. And so they moved on. So they have the evidence of how they actually quarreled these things. I understand those all those ancient quarries. Like structures. When you think about what it takes, how we build things today, and you see these things built, and it's like a 100,000 pound stone. It's the best evidence that people were more advanced back. Exactly. And then you go, and not only is it like together, where is it seamless between two, you can't put a piece of paper between two. It's all aqueducts. What they did was probably follow a line of innovation that's different from the line we follow. The one that we can't really relate to. We followed combustion engines, industrial evolution, manufacturing at a large scale. That's what we follow. What they followed is probably something very different. That we just found and found. You probably had to do with frequencies and sound and how you could bore through stone. [3:22:01] They had diamond drills. Do you think if they saw our stuff, they'd be like, what the fuck? Yeah, they'd probably like weird out by the internet. Oh yeah. If they didn't have it, but the thing is like if you have electronics and you leave them on the ground, they don't exist in 100 years. They will be get absorbed by the earth. Within a thousand years, there's no trace. You'll find the minerals that are in the the batteries and all that stuff that all break down There'll be nothing left. It's nothing if you watched buildings that were in Detroit that people abandoned You see trees growing through those buildings quickly man Houses cars you see a car that gets left in the woods it just gets broken down to rust and within a thousand years There will be nothing so if there was some shit that existed like the conventional dating of the great pyramids two thousand five hundred bc that that's under heavy speculation the real belief it's it's probably the guys from john antidew best and cram handcock and randall carlson [3:23:03] they point towards a possibility of a super sophisticated civilization more than 11,000 BC. So I think that's the thing that I've never really considered. No, really considered is that you always go, oh, they had like an archaic system that just worked, right, like levies and pull is a no. You know what I mean? Like they had like full electronics and like, I never Never consider that Never consider that you think we're we have to be at the best we have to be instead of The way the way they move things they move things that were Thousands of pounds. It's crazy Through the mountains if another 500 years passed from here how much technology will this if that all gets wiped out It'll get started over and will be at our level And then like well they were back to the events. I'm the same way as you it's like doesn't make sense exactly So you have because you think of like if everything collapsed right now in Iraq right yeah If we just had a live from now on the human race Evolves from the did genes of the preppers [3:24:04] from the jeans of the preppers. If that's it, preppers. People that are fucking bunkers and they're fucking backyards and canned peaches and they're fucking, you know, that who's that religious guy that sells survival food on TV? You know those that they have gym baker. Oh yeah, yeah. My bucket. Buckets, buckets of survival food. You could use lists as a stand for your table. They're eating at the dinner table with like buckets of survival food you could use this as a stand for your table They're eating at the dinner table with like buckets of survival food at the time bucket prep. Yeah, yeah If you know if you're one of those dudes man, and that's all that lives Yeah, these survival prep. I mean how long would it take for one of these dollars in the crowd? Look at these dull-minded gray brain people Look at what are these with a-brained people. Look at one of the chances that those people could invent the fucking... That's a joke. If I dropped you off in the middle of woods with a hatchet, how long do you could send me an email? Yeah. It'd be millions of years. If you had access to all the tools that people have ever created. Yeah, look at that stuff. [3:25:01] Where is that one, you dipped the unfinished obelisk like in theory they would have raised it up Taken it out somehow so there was an obelisk they cut into the stone and They have the technology to not only cut that but unfortunately some of that stone would crack and they would have to bend it But they have to pick it up and move it hundreds of miles Wow, and they did it routinely. There's no way to like grasp that unless you think the technology was other level. Not only that, dude, there's a lot of evidence that even the great pyramid is a more recent creation to some of the older kingdom work. The deeper they go into the sand, on some of the structures they'll find, like as they start excavating, that there's another structure underneath it, and then they uncover that. And the older they uncover them, it seems like the larger the stones were, the more complex the systems were. It's why you'll shit, man. These people were doing something a long fucking time ago. [3:26:01] And if you listen to guys like Robert Schock, who's a geologist from Boston University, he studied the erosion marks on the outside of the temple of the Sphinx. He said, this is indicative of thousands of years of rainfall that created this. That's the way you get these kind of fissures in the stones. The only time there was rainfall in the Nile Valley was like 9,000 BC. So you got to go back thousands of years that predate that because you got a thousands of years of rainfall, when it's a rainforest. All that area, like the Sahara Desert used to be a fucking tropical rainforest. Wow. Like all this shit happened before we were fucking driving diesel trucks and coal plants. The world has been in a constant state of flux forever. In that area where they initially established the kingdom of where Giza was and Cairo is and all those areas, that area was lush with resources. [3:27:03] That's probably why they advanced there for so long. They did some wild shit in this one area that this wild structure is all over the earth that they found. Nothing compares to what they did in Africa. Nothing, not one thing. Is anything like the great pyramid of 2,300,000 stones moved from quarries, hundreds of miles away, cut in a perfect position, true north-south east and west. It's fucking wild what they did, and I think they were probably more advanced than we are. That's what I think. I know, and when you see it first, go into Machu Picchu, you know, up in the Andes, you're like, what? How do they build this up in the mountain? Just imagine if everything collapsed right now, what people would be like 200 years from now? They would be fucking barbarians. Totally. They'd be walking dead people. Like living in little groups and tribes trying to stay alive, and eventually they would rebuild, but I think it would take forever. [3:28:01] And I think that's what happened. You ever think about that like you go technology exists with the same things that were available like hundreds of years before. Thousands of years. Hundreds of years. The same like elements. There is nothing new put here. We just were able to develop a phone. And every technology builds on the previous technologies. Someone's invented this and they go radio waves Yeah, I bet of that then that civilization had never had radio You know some an event something quicker that's different But if some events nuclear fission like way early Uh-huh, and everybody's like whoa or some events cold fusion way early You're like okay, well now we've solved this energy problem. Now we can move in a different direction. Or stops play early. Yeah, early. It allows you to like play. Do you think all the technological stuff that has evolved is with that the theory that we are borrowing from what you've taken from basically alien life leaving technology here or giving us hints? Oh, Jesus. No, I think the alien technology thing is fascinating, [3:29:06] but it might be also be bullshit. You always have to look at all of these things that are public and that are talked about and the Pentagon releases things about might be bullshit. You always have to think it might be bullshit. Every time I look at any phenomenon, whether it's UFOs, UAPs, whatever the fuck you want to call them, I always say to myself, if I was the military and I had some top secret drone program that moved through a totally unique and novel propulsion system that operated on gravity and that we figured out how to do this, we can move it around and I would be testing in exactly the same place as these people were testing They were testing and all this restricted airspace where they would run these Military drills they did it off the east coast and they did it off the west coast So where they're seeing these things is exactly where the military runs their tests. Oh [3:30:01] I would assume that if I was the military, that's how I would things. I would hide things. I would hide things by saying their UFOs and saying we have no idea what this is. And if you have top secret programs which we 100% know they do. And if you have a theory of propulsion that's based on gravity and not on igniting combustible fluids like rocket fuel, which we definitely have. And they have had since I believe the 1950s. They first started theorizing about magnetic propulsion systems. They probably have been developing this forever. They probably been doing it in secrecy and probably China is doing it as well. And the best way to hide it, I would imagine would be to say that this is something from another world. Also, we might be visited by other worlds. Also we might be visited by things from other dimensions. I think it might be all the above, and I don't think you can count out any of it, just because the fact that we know there's planets. [3:31:00] If we know there's planets, they're far enough away from the sun that the water doesn't boil and nothing freezes planets, they're far enough away from the sun that the water doesn't boil and nothing freezes if they're in that Goldilocks zone, maybe life can develop. And we know that there's a shitload of those out there. We've found a bunch of them already. So if they're out there, we would assume that something would be like us plus a hundred years, plus 500 years. And they would want to go to these other planets and say, look at these crazy fucks with flint tools trying to start fires by knocking sticks together. And we would say, let's run and leave our radio. And I think that's what they do. And that's what this Diana Pouscalco was saying about researchers were describing these crashed UFOs as donations. So if I was from somewhere else, whether it was another dimension or another planet, and I wanted to accelerate the technological innovation by these beings, I would give them fiber optics. Let's go figure that out. Crash this thing back engineer it, figure it out, get your brightest minds, lock everybody down, shoot everybody with a big mouth, and figure out how the fuck can make this. [3:32:02] How'd it do? And I think that's what the Bobbler's are stories all about. Bert, I was not listening. Baaah! Yeah, I got lost. I got lost. Yeah. It sounds cool. Would you get lost in? Buddy, when you started with propulsion, I was like, I was like, I was like, I felt like I was listening to your podcast. I know you should. I should learn you are while it's happening. I love your brain. You're gonna take a nap. So I'll take a nap. So now I got to see which insert shows all about naps. Is everybody coming to show tonight? Yeah. Tell me show 7 o'clock. I just gotta walk the dog. Yeah. What time's it now? Yeah, well times are now 43 6 basically let's fucking Go let's go. Let's fucking go. It's have some fun. All right Denver. I'm coming first week of March Seven show added very you like depressed. No, not no, no We can wear this to the shows. Yeah, it's weird shows. Yeah, we're just going to show we're doing a show tonight for real [3:33:03] Yeah, it's having a clock. I don't wanna do a show. I do. I do. You talked about, oh yeah, you never done comedy drunk. I've never done comedy drunk. I have done comedy drunk. You definitely have done comedy drunk. A couple long way to admit that fast. Yeah. What is this? That's real. What is that? That is a BAMF ivory handle for a 1911 which is type of pistol. Oh, it goes in like that. Yeah, you have to get it fit for a We're really doing a spot tonight. What is this really are you a professional? I am yeah, I am you can come and just watch us I can't not get on stage how you gonna take all that shit off in the time it takes? Take a second. No, if you time that. I start off like Jamalini, like very tactile. Well, you're gonna keep it on, right? No. No? No, I realized in taking it off, I'm a different person with my short off. Keep it on. Keep it on. [3:34:00] Keep it on. Keep it on keep it on keep it on keep it on for the show tonight. I'm not listening Clark Kent. Well I'm gonna wear it. You know Clark Kent with your stupid glasses. I know you are bitch. Clark Kent was the alter ego. Clark Kent with your stupid glasses. I know it's Superman. Superman's this real person. Yeah. Yeah duh. What the fuck is this guy doing? Come on. Don't you think I've watched the TV show? Don't you think I've read the comic books? Same thing with Hulk, come on dude. Yeah, what are you saying? Don't change. I had a really good set with a suit on. You already have shoulders, bro. You jacked. You don't even have to take a shirt off. You can still kill. You can kill with a suit and a tie on. Yeah, stuff your shoulders. I know you love that Pop that's a wild pop buddy. We were watching it last the Tuesday night. It's a big pop. It's a last recorded They like you know take a shirt off you can see there's a he can't take a shirt off I remember when he wouldn't take a shirt shirt off in the OR It's you would not like it do you do it now? Yeah, yeah, okay. It's something to eat something to eat. Let's get something to eat. Yeah, you're only one there. [3:35:06] Let's get something to eat and go. We're gonna get somebody to eat. A.B. Let's go to A.B. Let's go to A.B. Let's go. Let's go right now. This podcast is over. I love you guys. I love you too. Listen, this has been, uh, for all these years of us doing this has been a fucking, it's been fun. We've had a good time. It's been a wild fun. New civilizations will never have this. Yeah, I mean, they're gonna lock this down. You know, no network would ever allow it. No fucking producers would ever bank their mortgage on this being something. They would be like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Let's talk about what you said there.