#2089 - Joey Diaz


1 month ago




Joey Diaz

64 appearances

Joey Diaz is a stand-up comic, writer, and author. He's the host of the podcast "Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz," co-host of "The Check-In" with Lee Syatt, and author of "Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage." www.joeydiaz.net

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Fuck the glasses. Oh, do you need some? Yeah. I have some. Just in case. You gonna show me something interesting? Yeah. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. So I started doing this red light bed. I started doing two things to help my eyes. One, I started taking pure encapsulations. They have this, um... What is it called? macro... support? What is it called? Macro support. What is it called? Anyway, it's a bunch of supplements that they put together to stop your eyesight from going bad. And it's legit. Macular support. Macular support, that's it. You like it? Oh, legit. It stopped. Whatever the deterioration that I was experiencing where my eyesight was starting to go it stopped Just stopped it and it made it a little bit better and then I started doing this red light bed So I had this guy Gary Brecka on the podcast. He's explained to me how red light Revitalizes your capillaries and helps your vision come back And so I've been doing that now for about six weeks and I've noticed an improvement. Like I don't need reading glasses as much if I'm reading things on my phone. I can read some things that I just was not gonna be able to read. And more importantly, it's not getting worse because like it was like kind of every six months, eight months or so I'd notice my, God my eyes are worse. Like this is terrible. Like after like 46, it seemed like somewhere around 46, it was like it dropped off a cliff. And you did the right thing because you didn't submit to these. My mistake was to submit to these when I was like 43, 44. By 44, I could see I was having problems already. And I submitted to these and this is worse for you. That's why I used to these, and this is worse for you. That's why you should tell you. Glasses. Don't put the glasses on. Hold on. Make your eyes muscle that thing. It's like when you wear fucking hearing aids. Like, your hearing gets lost. Well, they say with vision, like the problem is we're looking at things that are real close up all the time. [2:00] And your eyes are supposed to do a bunch of different things. They're supposed to look at stuff in the distance, supposed to look at things up close, and if you don't look at things in the distance all the time, you lose that ability. Well, I'm gonna be as honest as I can with you, but I'm not trying to be cute here. Okay. I lost my eyesight when I stopped doing coke, because when I was doing coke, my eyesight went right into the fucking shit up. So when I was snorting, I had 2020 vision. I could see coke rock in the carpet and shit. Now I can't see shit if there's a coke rock on the fucking floor. So I guess it's blood flow. If you think about a blood flow to the brain, I mean mean it doesn't coke give you like a crazy amount of blood flow to your brain And it may it must the story idea. I have no idea what a blood goes Just think I've never got into that. No, thank God. I never got and especially now like now I see these people that are snoring anything. Yeah to snort anything today You got to be fucking crazy. Yeah, you can die heroin these people who put the fucking test like if you go to a bar in New York, they have tests. Yeah. [3:06] That you go into the bathroom and go, yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? You have to. If you don't want to. One shoe, test cocaine, it's time to do something different. You're not a test your coke. It's time to do something different. You got to fucking, you know what's going on here? Cattamine. nasal sprays. We had some lady going to a K hole in the middle of our comedy show. She's fucking falling down like this. And they brought in the narcan and shit. They were worried that she had the overdose. And her wife was like, no, no, no, she's just been doing Academy and she just did too much. So I did a couple of lines at that one time at the podcast, and it was okay. I did the podcast, but whoever gave me the Academy left like a pile of it on the desk you know after we did a couple lines so he left to me and Lee were talking and I go Lee what we're gonna do with this fucking thing. I don't know I'll throw it away I go fuck that it was about 8.30. 9 o'clock at night. I had done three lines maybe and I was buzzed but it didn't take me over the top. [4:05] I did those. Now I lived six minutes from the podcast studio and all that. When I got to the first light to make the left, I knew it was not going to be a good drive home. It was not going to be a good drive home, okay? I had done too much and then I got home and when I put my foot out of the car That was it it was lights out after that and I'm like I am fucked up I'm with you like lights out like I was fucked up. I don't know what was going on It's a different kind of fuck it's a different type of fucked up and that one in the house and God damn it my wife is awake I don't know now I got to talk to her God damn it my wife is awake. Oh no now I got to talk to her So I ran in my office. I'm in there 15 minutes getting higher and higher Oh no shit my body's feeling weird and I go I better go out there Before she comes in here right [5:07] And she was watching true true crimes detective whatever on HBO. Oh, okay And it was the dude from the green book and the other guy the green the brother the guy who won the he was The green book with the guy who drove him in the South. He played the piano play anyway doesn't So you know I saw the green book. I don't think I saw the green book. Oh, oh We were talking about him yesterday marshal Ali. Yeah, yeah, that guy's awesome He's awesome. He was great in that Netflix documentary with the Netflix show We were just talking about about to end of the world with you the Roberts and Ethan Hawk. Oh, I didn't see that It was good good fucking y'all has hated it though, huh? He's trying to get me to hate it. I kind of went with them a little bit, right? He influenced me. I was like, yeah, there was some parts I didn't like. The CG animals. Yeah, but just CGI animals staring at people I'm like, no, you don't need to do this. No, no, but I looked at him and while I was watching TV his head kept getting bigger. [6:00] And I'm like, I couldn't take it. I'm sitting there. I got no t-shirt on them She's kind of looking at me. I'm kind of looking at her. Your wife is a fucking angel and finally she really is I couldn't take it on one like what the hell's going on here? And she said what what I'll change it she didn't know I told her the next morning I said let me tell you someone I came last night. I was not doing too good. You know, people think that you fuck around, like when I was living in LA, people think like you fuck around and you don't have no. Everybody always thinks like I just got high and had no fucking consequences. I just never told you about what I dealt with. You know, one not eight mushrooms, and I went home and the fucking mushroom's hit. I didn't know. I ate like three little fucking things at the office. The Mushrooms hit and that's a deity exorcist came up. And I had to watch it and I'm like, what the, and I finally ran into the room and put the blankets open. I had, it was too fucking real. Like I have horrible high stories. I just don't repeat them because you know, but I won't believe them. I remember when we were on a plane once and you were eating stars at death and We were like almost that New York and it was like an hour before the plane landing Joe Rogan [7:10] I almost fucking lost it. I almost fucking lost it. I was having a panic attack. It was getting bad. It was getting bad Then you go, but I'm back and then you popped you You just had a panic attack almost you know for, for three years I cried about this anxiety, anxiety, I can't take it. Yeah. Fucking, I don't do edibles now. Is that what it is? Monday nights. So was the edibles that was giving you the anxiety? You said it yourself. You can't live on a 2,000 milligrams of goddamn day. Something's gotta fall apart eventually. Yeah. You know, that was kicking it up. And then I would get, anytime I would get above 200 milligrams, the whole world was just like very slippery, very slippery. It was like, this is like, I could see how edibles can get someone too legitimately lose their mind. [8:01] That's why when I was talking to Alex Baronson, he wrote that book, Tell Your Children. It's all about schizophrenia and about how there are people that get introduced to high doses of marijuana and induces schizophrenia. We know people, we both know a couple of people that have had that happen to. I'm like, this is real. I think marijuana is very beneficial in low to moderate doses. Well, you get above certain doses with certain psychology, certain people, certain times of their life, you know, certain things they're going through. You never know. You could fucking crack. You never know. You could, and I can tell you that, that's the truth. Yeah, that's the truth. Because at times, you know. It gets, marijuana at the high doses is not what people think it is. It gets to that very psychedelic place where it's like this might as well be acid. Like the real high doses, there's some time where Eddie Bravo had these THC pills. One of his students had made his own pills, had like turned keef into pills. [9:04] I forget how many we took, but I was talking to this one dude and like I might as well have been in another dimension. Like my relationship to reality was very slippery. I was like if I was losing my mind right now, or I wasn't in a good place in my life, my life is falling apart, maybe you're getting fired, your house is repossessed, going through a divorce, maybe have cancer, who knows, whatever it is. And then you get that dose, it gets sent you over the top. Bro, I had a guy come over from Jiu-Jitsu one day. We're just hanging out, because I want to do a bong, and I gave him two bong hits when I smoke, he puked in my yard. He was like, I don't know how you do this every day. Ha-ha-ha. Who fucking bunkers? We gonna light up up. Yeah, well it's also like when someone runs marathon. You try to run a marathon with them. I don't know how you run a marathon. Well, you fucking gotta build up to it. You're building up to that too. It's all building up, you know? [10:09] This new weed that's coming out now these people aren't ready for them. It's too strong and more people are smoking pot now than ever before, whether it's vapor pens, everybody's doing something. Is that like because it's legal right? I wonder what the numbers are because it's legal in what is it now? Jamie, 19 states. I think we're close in 20, it's 23 minutes. Shiloh states. It's decriminalized in the city of Austin, but it's legal in a lot of states, like New Jersey, New York, California, recreational use, Nevada, Colorado, Oregon. I would imagine there's more people smoking it now just because of that because it's legal, right? Dog, you got to come home from work instead of getting beer or whatever the fuck you get you go when you get one of these joints with 25 bucks. This'll last the regular person the whole weekend and it doesn't kill your body. It doesn't kill you. It doesn't kill your body. That's the big one. For me like when I was doing Jiu Jitsu every day, if I was getting high and doing Jiu-Jitsu, it actually made my Jiu-Jitsu better. [11:07] Like I felt like my Jiu-Jitsu is more smooth, I was more focused, but I never felt wrecked the next day. But if I drank the night before and then tried to go into class the next day, I always felt like 30% less. I was like, this is terrible. So I stopped drinking. Because every time I would go out drinking, and then I'd go into class, I just get man-hiddled. I just get wrecked. Just couldn't keep up. And when you're hungover, it's the worst feeling. What have I done to myself for just a few hours of fun? You know, it's really crazy that we don't really know what alcohol does to our bodies. But it's not good. You know, but you know. But if I can find out, get one of those aura rings. Get a aura ring or a whoop strap on those whoop straps? I got one. Yeah, okay. Check your whoop strap. But have a couple of cocktails. Oh. And then check your whoop strap. It's crazy. Like, I don't hear two drinks, two glasses of wine. Your down. The whoops strap is very beneficial for that because it tracks your heart rate variability [12:07] and it gives you like a real accurate assessment of what happens when you fuck around with things because if you just do something different like I just cut out sugar. Oh whoa, look at how much better my recovery is. You know, oh I stopped drinking alcohol. Whoa, recovery through the roof. I were committed to drinking X amount of liters of water every day. Wow, look at all this recovery. Look, my body's functioning better. You know, it's like it gives you real feedback. I was telling your buddy that when I got the whoop, it was for recovery purposes. I don't like being that fucking sore. You know what I'm saying? So I wanna know where I am throughout the day. Right. I got the whoop and I gotta be honest here, you know what improved the best? What my sleep? Because when I got the whoop, we all think we sleep eight hours. Right. Everybody thinks they sleep fucking eight hours. Get the fucking whoop and get back to me. Yeah. You'll see that you sleep in five, forty-five, six, ten, and you're like this ain't working. So I started doing things to help my sleep. Joe, do you know I sleep eight now? And at four o'clock, five o'clock, [13:05] I gotta go dial for an hour. Everything, taking that. You know when I took, I never took a fucking nap since you know me, taking that. Mm, one hour. Get up, I feel tip top, McGoo. That's when I start smoking weed and having a good time. Yeah, I'm, I can function on five. I do well on six when I'm doing eight plus I'm at my best. I know the difference. Like, there's days that are coming here where maybe I had a late show, got out of the club late and then maybe I had to take the kids of school in the morning or maybe I had an appointment or maybe I had something I had to do so I had to get up early so I only got like five or six I can function but I'm in my mind. I'm like that's a check. I have to pay that's a bill after pay So I have to make sure tonight I get like 10 or 11 tonight I really want to get get some serious sleep no booze hit the sauna hit the cold get get my body prepped [14:05] sauna and a cold plunge before you go to bed. Oh my god, you sleep at a baby. You sleep at a baby. You sleep so good. Yeah. I haven't worked myself up to the cold plunge yet, but I do the red light. Do it right now. You can do it right now. Like that. Red light's on as great. I think any song is great. Even a hot bath is great. All ideas just warm in your body up. Just getting your body so it's uncomfortable. But the real studies are on the regular sauna. We got a salousse sauna. I have that for here and that for my house. They're the shit man. That's the one we have here is so nice. It's set up, it's all Bluetooth. It's set it up off your phone. Like so you're on there waiting the gym. For on the way the gym set the sauna 190. Get here. It takes a while to cook. But then you're sitting in that thing and if you do that on a regular basis, it gets you get used to it. You get used to being uncomfortable. But God damn you feel good. Like your joints feel good. All the stiffness kind of feels like it goes away. [15:01] Your mood feels better. You sleep better. Sauna's the mother. If I had to pick one over the two, I don't know which one I'd pick, but I love the fact that I could do both of them. I think sauna I would pick, because there's more data. There's a 20 year study out of Finland with sauna patients where they use the sauna four times a week for 20 years. And depending about how many times a week they used it, they saw more improvement. But the people that used it four times a week saw, I think it was a 40% decrease in all cause mortality. It's a 40% decrease, stroke, heart attack, cancer, for the people that did that as opposed to the people that didn't do it. Well your girl told me that if you do... Rhonda? Yeah, I love her. She's about you know, I love her. I love her too like I watch out on to Ronda patch I watch every video. I take what she tells me yeah to heart and I think she's so fucking sexy Smart when she just goes on a timon. Oh, she's so fucking sexy, but she was saying that 51 [16:00] 61 minutes a week in the sauna cut your cardiac arrest rate. I think, fuck it, and 60% of some shit. Well, I'll tell you what else it does, Joey, it makes your cardio better. Like your cardio for working out, just sitting there, your heart rate gets jacked. So it's like a static form of cardio. Well, before I go to the Tuesday and Thursday, did you get to, I go to the red lights on. That's my cheek because that's a heavier class and you gotta fucking be a little. So I always go in the morning, 34 minutes come out. Go right to Jiu-Jitsu from there. It's a good way to warm up before we're gonna out too. Get in there for 10 minutes. Just sorta like get in there and stretch a little bit for 10 minutes? I do yoga in there. I do a bunch of stuff out of our gondas, whatever the fuck they call them. Yeah, there's a company. The breathing makes a yoga room like they make a sauna that's just for working out in. It's a bigger sauna. I think it's, what is that company? But they have like chin up bars in there and shit and an exercise bike and people work out [17:01] while they're in the infrared. I breathe the five, just work on my breathing. Just, you know, quick breathing and deep. And then I get up and I stretch a little bit. And then about the 10 minute mark is where I start doing chaturongas. Mm-hmm. And which one's a chaturongas? Chaturongas when you go up, down, drop. You could drop into a fucking Whatever crooked dog whatever fucking it's But it's not big enough uncle Joey and I fucked my ankle up so I wasn't doing those But I'll do a bunch of warrior poses for you one warrior to in the sauna Yeah, and then I wait to the halfway mark I go out I take 30 seconds I drink a little liquid IV and I shoot right to back the fucking in I got to say some else before I go on that song I do it in the morning I get as fucking jizzied as I can be yeah I don't smoke if I know I'm going to the song at 10 I won't do that eight o'clock bomb hit this is morning I hold off on that motherfucker till 10 and then I'll do like 18 bomb hits when I walk in there [18:03] they even know it whoa that the nicest people in the world. They just wave. Like on the red lights on. I am fucking stoned in there. When I walk out of there, I dry off. I put my socks on, I drink my water. After about seven minutes I go back in smelling there. You could grow fucking weed in that motherfucker after I... The odys you smelling there Fucking fungi toe nail sweat fucking reef is wet. It's amazing. Is this a place that the Jimmy go to? No, no It's a place called chill. Oh, so it's a place set up just with saunas and cobwebs red lights on Uh, no co plunge, but they have the cryo cryo there. So you could go right from the sauna to the cryo They got so many things now. They got many beds that you sit in mm-hmm. It controls like whatever they have so many things to place is clean Six minutes from my house. I could just call them gone on my way. We don't have a bed. We have a bed It's tremendous. I love all that shit. Yeah. I wonder what's better for you cry over the co plunge I [19:03] Think I tell you what's harder to do. Cold punch is harder to do. Cold punch is harder to do. It's harder to do. And you feel different when you get out of there, like you feel fucking chilled down to the bones. Whereas there's something about the cryo chamber. I think they're both super beneficial though. I don't know if there's been studies done and what's better for you. But I get the same feeling after both of them like, woo! I recover a lot quicker after the cryotherapy Then I would the co-plunge though the co-plunge. I'm cold for a long fucking time I only got one regret about cryotherapy that I didn't discover that when I was doing drugs Because that let me tell you something when you go into the cryotherapy the first time you do it three minutes When you walk out of there you either have an idea of what this is for you like for me when I walk that I go where was this motherfucker when I was drinking because you could snort coke till nine a morning go to that red light smaller quarter of 10 come out of that 10 your brand new I've never done it but I know from the [20:00] feeling of walking out of there that your brand new so you mean the cryotherapy or do you mean the sauna? The cryotherapy, I'm sorry. Japanese people invented cryotherapy. They did? How can we find out? Can the fact check me, you know? I think, I would like to know. I mean, I think the Vikings did it. There's the thing they did, like just boost their manliness, just get in the fucking cold water Technically Joey's right, okay developed in 1970s by a Japanese rumour Tollogist Toshi my Yamaguchi But I'd be like the actual cryotherapy that we did like in LA like the okay like they're liquid liquid nitrogen Yeah, yeah, okay, but the Vikings were doing cold therapy right right right that thousands of years ago now that they had a look at the guy that invented this to people it was Japanese people and again these motherfuckers like the party yeah so as soon as I walked out of that that's what I said to myself absolutely a Japanese guy invented this look at this goes back to the ancient civilizations ancient Romans, and early Greeks were using cold temperatures of form of therapy, [21:07] as early as 2,500 BC. Whoa. When I used to see Fedor do it, Fedor Emilio Enenko, one of the all-time greats, he used to do the Banya, so they would all get in the sauna together and they would like beat them with leaves. They would use leaves and beat them, and then they would like beat them with leaves they would use leaves and beat them and then they would jump in this frozen lake And I was like these guys are just insane. There's no bad. I'm like what the benefit of that I would think it was nonsense, but they knew they knew you know I'm so early 2000s people hadn't weren't doing cold plunges and so on as if they were it wasn't like openly discussed like it is now You know, I think Dan Gabel found it. He was telling me on the podcast, he found out about it when he's wrestling the Russians in the Eastern Europeans. He's like, they always use sauna. And he realized like there's something to the actual, the benefits for your cardio, recovery, blood cells. He said it's almost like a mild version of EPO [22:03] when you're in the sauna on a regular basis just really boosts up your endurance here's Fador. Damn, when he was young he was the mother of their fucker dude and what a dad bought that guy had. And there's not a single photo of him out there with a six pack and he's widely regarded as the greatest heavyweight of all time. I mean he might be the greatest martial artist of all time. He's certainly in the argument. The arguments for the greatest martial arts of all time, if they're in their prime, I would say this guy because people leave him out of the conversation you never should, BJ Penn. BJ Penn in his prime was one of the greatest I've ever seen. And then there's Anderson. Anderson in his prime. I was one of the greatest I've ever seen and then there's Anderson Anderson in his prime I was just watching the Anderson documentary that you have seen just put together Holy shit man, you forget you forget you forget those rich Franklin fights I know if I got you forget you but you forget the level of [23:00] expertise and precision and just mastery he had when he was in his prime. I am telling you, I'm guilty. Even though I'm a giant Anderson fan, I had to see it again. I had to see it again. I'm like, Oh, yeah, people forgot. Well, we had a conversation. I have to sign your fight. You're like, how does signing was the best? I go, remember I said to you, bro. Yeah. No, you're right. It's hand- I love the rich Frank the fight I mean the first time I ever saw this motherfucker. I'm about I'm getting dressed I'm getting dressed Where do you go to comedy with you or anybody else and it was a few of see fight night We're him against Chris Levin. Yeah, I never saw this fucking guy heard you guys talking about him Yeah, and when he came out it was fucking mastery I was like blowing then many played the ukulele. I'll never forget that. Well, I was a giant fan of Anderson's already because I became a fan of Anderson's in pride and then Anderson went over to cage warriors and when he went over to the was the cage rage? What was the organization that he fought for? [24:02] That Anderson fought for in England. But in England, he became Anderson Silva. You know, there's like Charles Olivera. Charles Olivera was a really good fighter and then his daughter was born and then he became Charles Olivera, the assassin that everybody knows. But he lost a bunch of times in the years. We went through that time. He would fall apart. Anderson, when he went to England. There's something about leaving Japan and going to England then he became Anderson. So what was the cage rage? Right. Cage warriors is the, that's like the top organization that exists now in, in the UK. So he fights Lee Murray in cage rage and lee murry was a fucking killer lee murry was the guy was involved in the biggest armed robbery in the history of the u.k. he's in jail now i'm a forever real gangster crazy dude so he fucks lee murry up in cage rage and then he comes back in fox war hay [25:02] reveria in cage rage and when he fucked whole hair Rivera up, he's standing in front of Jorge, who was a murderous puncher and letting Jorge punch him in the face. He was just letting him punch him in the face. It's just like, but you ain't got shit. And then beat his ass. Then he goes over and fights Tony Frickland in cage rage and hits him with that crazy upward elbow. Did you ever see that yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so he fuck her to stout fuck him up fuck Tony Frickland up And then by the time he was coming to the UFC. I was like dude Get ready for this guy and I was looking at the line like the betting line the betting lines back then were stealing Nobody knew nobody knew nothing you a guy would over, a guy like Glover to share or someone would come over from Brazil and you'd be like, you don't know and even knows yet. You don't even know how good this guy is. Like, you know, the line would be like in favor of the other guy, like, oh my god, this is hilarious. I think Chris Leibin might have been a slight favorite over Anderson. I don't even know what the bedding line was. I don't think he was a favorite. I think Anderson was a favorite. [26:05] But either way, I was like, dude, he's gonna light him up like a Christmas tree because Chris Lieben was just such a murderous marauding attacking style. That's perfect for Anderson because Anderson is the technician. So he's just gonna slide away. It's a master class put that fight on put Anderson silver versus dog The fucking fight you took me to a rich Franklin in Columbus. Oh, yeah, when the the Arnold thing was going on You're in color. Yeah That last array when he boom boom then he hit some low with a leg kick and then he punches him again another leg kick It's fucking beautiful. I was like what the fuck that's how you mix it the fuck up and he did it like he was just playing he did it like he was hitting any bag just fucking around one about time I we picked the hit acid and that's my he decided to kick that dude in the face yeah this is the one yeah so this is Anderson's debut and by the way Chris Leven one of the most [27:03] murderous punchers knocked out Vanderlei, knocked out a shit ton of dudes. When Chris Leven, when Connectline guys, they would go night night. And he fought like a fucking Wolverine man. Chris Leven would just charge at you. So like that style with that kind of confidence is per look at how he has his moving baby. Look at that, look at that jab. Look at that jab look at that jab shucks them off the side I mean the footwork bro look how elegant just no wasted movement and leaving just moving in for the kill pink uh-oh give me that volume oh there it. It's already beginning pink pink pink. Yep. I mean, Leibin can't even land a shot on him. I mean, Leibin got back up. Oh, Leibin's Tough dude tough as nails and there's the knee and that's a rap son [28:16] And this is silver That was the big debut that was like 2004 six I was six fucking hypnotized by that hypnotized He was the man hypnotized. I was like what the fuck? He was a man. I was listening. I watched the UFC with you. There's a bunch of chubby guys that look like me I don't want no part of that stuff. You took me to Florida one time to see Miami when there was like maybe 15 people in the audience. Jack was there. You remember? It was a long time ago. Yeah, that was the early days. That was two four. That was two thousand four. Because that was around the time of that man show. And it was Butterbeen. Was one of the fighters on that card? No, Butterbeen never fought in the ocean. Who was the chubby guy that fought on that card? [29:00] There was somebody who was on that car that was like... Traiteligment? No, Traiteligment? No, Scott Farosa was really big. Traiteligment was the guy I was missing. But Shaq was there. There was the two guys that V-Tor fought in his debut. But that was really, that was 97. That was Shaq was there. I mean, he was already in Miami and I was like, I'm like, man, Shaq trained martial arts a long time ago. He started training a long time ago But I didn't know he was from Newark and I didn't know all the good things he did from Newark That's a bad motherfucker. He's a good man. I've gotten all new level of respect for what I heard He's done in Newark. Oh, yeah, one of my friends in Newark cop a couple of them and they were telling me bro It never ends. Oh, that's great. Yeah, he gave a lot back to this fucking community. He's very smart. I mean, he's got a shit ton of businesses. He owns a bunch of businesses. He's always got something going on, you know? He stays active, you know? There's a bunch of guys that do a real good job of like using whatever fame they got from athletics [30:03] and then just like do everything after like check does everything is always doing commercial. He's always doing something you know that's a that's a big human being dude he put your hands like you shake his hands like that's a big dude he's so big his hands like it's like a fucking breakfast tray I never said none of them ever spoke to myself at the store a couple nights He would come to the store after the games for fat Tuesday But I never really spoke to him or anything I just I did fear factor with them. Well, that's right Yeah, me and him is hilarious. I was like it was like a six-year-oldness dad That's like me standing next to him. He's so big. He's so gigantic. So what else has happened to my brother? Everything's good, man. You know they have those bonnets by me, right? You know, the restaurant's, they have arigos those in the city. They have a beautiful one in a freehold. Yeah. And the fucking place has a restaurant to die for. Really? Yeah, like Russian? Yeah, you can stay there all fucking day. [31:06] A Russian restaurant? I think it's everything. Oh, okay. It's everything. You get beat up with the leaps, the steam, the fucking co-plunds. I got a pool, they massage you, they have lunch. You could just go there and write. You can just go write jokes. You go up to have a cafe in there. It's really fucking sharp. That's smart. I just, not in the mood to get beat up with fucking leaves at this point in my life. Yeah. When I used to go to the YMCA in Hollywood, the good one, there were Russians in there in the mornings with the hoods on. They were the hoods to keep the head on and then have the vodka there. I did this because I was so heavy, I was embarrassed to go any other time of the day. So I would go at 445 and I would sit in the fucking barn, you with them, whatever the steam bat. And then I would go on the other one, the sauna, the steam bat, and then I would swim. And I just swam more and more every day. This went on for about six months. [32:01] One day I get there about 5 a.m. I open up the fucking door and there's a dude Completely balls ass naked laying with a Russian sit, okay balls ass naked Just on a fucking towel dick out didn't give a Frenchman fuck I sat there for about five minutes and all I kept thinking was These Russians ain't gonna like it when they come in here. Sure enough, the fucking three Russians came in. They asked the guy to move, the dude didn't fucking move, and it was not good after that. Right in the YMCA. They be his eyes? They fucking choke them and threw them out. When they could, they picked them up by his fucking neck right in front of him. I just kept walking. I don't wanna know, but, dog, I can't be around that shit. I'll go to jail for 20 years. Joe they grabbed them by the fucking truck They asked them one time can we see any then he let them sit but he wouldn't put it out a lot That's what it was Yeah, the guy had probably come from from the fucking freaky spot was trying to get his dick something there And I walked out and after all I heard was a couple prompts and then I saw his son a door open and [33:04] Home we went flying out like what those fucking brackets. Eddie Bravo and I used to work out at a 24 hour fitness and one of the managers they just brought him over from the West Hollywood place and he was giving me the war report from working in West Hollywood. He's like it's basically a gay pickup spot. That's all it is. The 24 hour fitness on Santa Monica next to the, I don't even know if it's there anymore. That'll be there forever. But is it there? Yeah, back in the day. Back in the day, when Eddie and I were working out together, this is like 2001, 2002. This manager was like, dude, it's crazy. He goes, there's just jizz all over the sauna. You go in the sauna, you gotta hose it down. This just loads everywhere. These guys are just fucking each other everywhere. They find places to fuck. And they would go there to look for other buff guys to fuck. I mean, and imagine the problem with guys is there's no women. [34:00] There's no one to go, hey, this is ridiculous. I don't wanna get pregnant. What have you been up to? You know, are we gonna use protection? There's no voice of reason. It's just two guy you want fuck? I'm on a fuckless fuck and they're all jacked up, right? So they're probably doing testosterone or they're lifting a lot of weights and they've got high testosterone They're horny all the time. They're taking drugs and then just fucking each other at the gym. He said the gym was barely a gym. He goes, it's so weird to come here and it's a gym. He goes, that gym was just a front for a gay pickup spot. These guys were just, I'm sure they were working out too, but they were just banging. They were doing a lot of banging. Listen bro, when you go through Boyz Town, oh yeah, I think you had a bit of a yeah, yeah, yeah, we left that like people have to understand that when you go to boys town You have one at the end by the time you hit dentist and you're about to hit you You have two things on your mind either I love gay people I can't stand these motherfuckers. They're at a control and with my world. I love these motherfuckers the best being [35:03] This just happened like six, seven years ago, six, five, before the pandemic, we're driving on Santa Monica, me and my wife, we're going to eat at fucking Dan Tannis. We got an early reservation, right? Fucking, we had a light. There's a bar on the right-hand side. UFC is on. Two guys are fighting, but meanwhile, there's a hundred guys with leather. Dance to the UFC, and me and my wife just look at each other and go, God bless them. Yeah. God bless, that's what it is about boys now. They got the run of it. Well, they also don't have to pretend. No. They don't have to pretend they want something other than what they want. Whereas, there's a lot of men that they feel like to pick up women in a bar They have to pretend to be something different. They're to act a little different They're they have to play to what the lady likes or these guys just fucking they just fuck they just fuck listen Christie Miller Christie Miller from New York is sure [36:02] Christie, you know, yeah, she's been in New York and Before Christie Miller moved to New York. She year. She's in New York now. Yeah, she's been in New York. And before Christy Miller moved to New York, she was working at Goals on IVAR, maybe down. Okay. You remember that? Yeah. It's not a gay spot. Tremendous gay spot. So she, but here's the fucking deal. I was 426 pounds. And Christy out of the love of a heart goes take this membership for free Don't go at night Don't go at night And they'll fucking take care of you and then I'm like really I tell you I want in there Maybe for three or four months before I signed up at the Y because the Y don't be with you too fat We can't have you really the first time I went to the why told you Too fat to work out dog when I went to the why the first time I signed up for a consultant Thing like somebody for free to help with you. I didn't want to come to you guys. I was too embarrassed I thought I was gonna die. I got out of fucking treadmill [37:00] I didn't even make 30 seconds on level two Mm-hmm. He goes listen this you got to go out and walk I didn't even make 30 seconds on level two. I think it was listening. You got to go out and walk. It goes, come back here when you lose 50 pounds. It goes, right now you got to walk. Do you ever walk? Right. And I was like, yeah, you know, to the store, to the drug dealers. I said, to the comedy store, you know, yeah, you know, but no. And he goes, just walk. He goes, I want you to do a dolce a does with the tap the bail boxes. Go for a walk and tap two bail boxes one day and then three to neck whatever as far as you go. Yeah. So Kristi gave me that thing and I would go over there at night. I knew little things, you know, from lifting as a kid, but every time I was struggling over there, some fucking hot guy came over. And he would always go, excuse me, can I help you out? And he would talk to me. And yeah, maybe they wanted to fuck me, but I doubt it. I was 418 pounds. Yeah. You had a fucking crowbar to get to my asshole at that point. So, I mean, these guys were fucking dying on my drive. I would love to say the entire, that they hit on me not one time. In fact, they were very helpful. Would they hit on me, they were setting me up, you know, [38:07] their wolves. Don't ever think, and that's what shocked us. Like my friend told me about that website. He used to go on, boys are hoi. That was just gay men, right? Yeah. See, it's still around. Boys are hoi. What a great day for a website. Okay, now he It's still around boys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys a hoys No way, they met at the, he would meet them at the hot dog place up the block from the store. Hmm, the carnies, oh carnies, oh carnies, they would take them to the standard, fuck them and then he come to the commies to it, nine o'clock. And they go that way, you go your way. Boys are who I gay chat and friend, apps on Google Play. [39:02] Good for them. Yeah. Good for them. And you got fucking go wild. Bro, when those guys get old, it gets rough. It gets rough. I don't know. Yeah, a lot of them guys when they get old, it gets rough. Doc, I just went to Jingle Bell to see my man, Jelly. Okay. Jingle Bells? Jingle Bells? Jingle Bells? Jingle Bells? Jingle Bells? They do the Z100, they do a thing in New York and Madison Square Garden. I never went to it, but I got a daughter now. And you get talked into those stupid shit. And I don't want my kid going into the city by myself, my wife, okay? She don't know the mechanisms of it. So I went with like, you know, nine kids from the neighborhood. Jellie hooked us up. Me, three moms, and like the rest were just kids. Girls and one boy. And I took them to go see fucking Jelly, Olivia Rodrigo, but Share was there. Okay? Share was doing other parents. I get there, everybody's cool, but there's two old school gay dudes. [40:02] They're probably in their 60s, and they're those old school New York geese's gay dudes. They're probably in their 60s and they're those old school New York geese's gay guys. They were gay when it was tough to be gay. You know what I'm saying? Like they've been in New York all their lives. They started at CBGB's or the meat market or whatever fucking gay want and not that mature. They were married before the law. Yeah. Talk. These motherfuckers were miserable. They just sat there and every once in a while they would look at each other and look at the kids and go The whole fucking night. I'm like why are these fucking guys here? Meanwhile, I got a girl and a little boy a Jewish kid Jumping up and down singing into the phone the whole fucking thing I'm like look at this fucking Jewish kid his brothers fighting over in Israel He's over here watching this fucking thing jumping up and down like a half a fucking thing now the two gay guys Haven't said a word. They just keep looking around hating hating everybody Dog when they said share coming up to the stage these motherfucking fuck that are their capes and they got up and they were dancing like the kids [41:01] You should have seen them there had to be in their 67 68 they both had the hair they were fucking dead. They were dancing like the kids. You should have seen them. They had to be in their 67, 68. They both had their hair. They were fucking dead. They were hugging each other. Take me home. Whatever that song she fucking sings. When share walked out, these motherfuckers, you see like 10,000 people just left. Really? Because there was a lot of gay people hidden. It's Christmas time. They want to be a share, huh? Just to see share. 82 years old. She's 82? What is it? What is it? 77. Close enough. 77 82. Yeah, it's old. That's Biden's age. How the fuck did Jimmy, how the fuck did our girl, how the fuck is Jimmy Page 80 years old? Yeah, how the fuck did our girl? How the fuck is Jimmy Page 80 years old? Yeah, the fuck it turned 80 So it's good she looks fucking dynamite look at her How she sound [42:03] It's let's see let me see let me see if it's recorded here it's not recorded loaded in processing yeah that's the show I was at What was that? It might... It might be... It might be the core. It's hard to say. Often too though, they do though, she might be singing live, but you're not... It's so buried in the mix that you're hearing, you would never really be able to tell. She looks like she was singing that. It looks like she's singing that. She's singing that. That sounds pretty fucking good They could just be mixing they might mix it for her Maybe she can hit someone Don't I saw I'm a young man. I saw when I was a fucking kid [43:01] Yeah, and you need a city walking into past all music. We fucking the king Gregorm. Wow. That's not gonna lie, Dad. And I didn't know who he was. I love to tell you I knew Gregorm was an animal. I just knew something was right, but I saw her and I was like, what a fucking sonny, you know. I grew up on that stupid fucking show. So what song I love is, I'm no angel. Oh, bro, he's got a song. Give me that, that dude what that dude lived you hear his voice like that you only get I know I'm gonna make the world a jingle, I'll never leave before [44:08] So I might as well just die with love, just take it back with love I'm the way to do it Yeah The thing about him is, the reason I called Jelly that day about three years ago after I heard that one song I called him, like, oh listen bro, you're bringing back something that this country has not heard in 30 years. All these types of songs, like these singers Greg Orman, a couple of them, even the dude from Leonard Skinner, the way they sang, it was deep, you felt, their years, you felt, without God. Yeah. And I think that's what jelly brought back to us. Oh, yeah That's what he brought that little piece. That's what he brought back. Yeah that type of you know I still listen to a lot of eat a peach Ormins and I still listen to live from the fucking beacon Whatever the fuck did they do all the time? You know, we have that green room playlist midnight writers the first song [45:04] That's the fucking yeah, that's the first song Sometimes I switch it up sometimes it's on your boogie man. That's another one depends on our village Ellie, friends on how we're feeling Come on, that mug me some I'm your boogie man. Is he still talking to me some volume too? I don't know man, but this is the song when we would walk into the arena when we do a rena's when we walk into the rena Like as we're walking into the green room. I like to play. I'm your boogie man because that's one of those What it is listen to this? You're walking in the joint gets fired up the ice cubes going the glass the whiskey gets poured cheers Music goes up everybody everybody gets ready. Shows about the start. You're a blue shaker, that's what I need. I'm a black dude. Whatever I need. Be early morning, late afternoon. [46:00] Or at midnight, it's nap to swim. I wanna feel you That's back when you could use rainbows You know who was here last night? Mother fucking nobody told me Who on the gang was here last night? No way At the moody fucking theater No way When I got to the whole townroom, I looked at the menu and said, yeah At the time and for the month Fucking... that was the thing that I didn't realize about moving here I thought I was gonna miss out on like big artists like big acts But then when I got in like oh they all come to town. They all come here. This is they all gotta stop They all come here gotta say hello Williams was just here gotta say hello Mark Curry They all gotta stop. They all come here. God to say hello. Williams was just here. God to say hello. Mark Curry Man, where I got my car. Yeah, my curries man. Mark Curry is a sweetheart. I just bumped into him. Do you have his number? No, I gotta get his number. I got him into the ha ha and Then he was working a little at the store before the pandemic hit [47:04] My man willy-d reached out to me the day and he said that he saw him said Mark Curry was on fire Mark Currie was open enough for cat. He said it was insane. Don't get 40 years of standup. What do you expect? Oh Mark was Always so underrated so when we'd see him at the store. He was so polished But you know what he just made a ton of money off that show is like I'm good. I'm a chill. He's a great guy Yeah Yeah. The best nicest guy in the world. Niceest guy in the world. Always great to young comics. Yes. He's always very nice. Great to everybody. You didn't have to earn, you know, a conversation with them. He talked to dorm people. So Mark Curry is opening for Calender. Yeah. Yeah. At least that show in Austin. And did they do the moody? I don't know what he did did a big place though cats killing it It's like he is sick it sells when I play 800% Hb center. Yeah, so these are the big place. That's that 15,000-seat place. Look at that come on son come on side [48:01] Let's go I always love cat. I love cat. So I don't know. They do that interview, say I wouldn't have mom. I'm like, what are you talking about? I have a, I have, you know, shh. Let's go. Two times. Anytime. I'll be on my way. When everyone can buy it, call me. Call me. I'll fire this something. I think we're gonna get a studio downtown. I think I'm gonna get a studio in one of them penthouses with a view so I could do nighttime podcasts. After the podcast or after the shows, like say if we do a seven o'clock show at the mothership, maybe let's go fuck around. Let's go do a podcast. I forgot to do that. I saw an ice house. Exactly. Those are great days. When Red Band had that cool studio right there at the ice house. You go waning out. And we would go on the stage on Icehouse Chronicles. We had a good time. I wonder what the ice house looks like now. It's supposed to be nice. Really nice. It's very cleaned up. A lot of guys don't like it because they went to dirt. I get It was the longest running club in the country. The ice house was. [49:10] Yes, ice house was the longest running stand-up comedy club in the country. It was older than the store. Ice house existed before the store. And it was originally an actual ice house where people would go to get ice. And then it became like some sort of a rock and roll club. And then it became a comedy club in the early 70s. Been a comedy club forever. The longest running comedy club, even before the store. It really was a gem. Oh, it was amazing. That club was a gem, and I'll tell you why. Cause it just took you out of that whole L.A. shit from now on. Exactly. It took you out of there. Put you out in regular people. Those people in the little in that big room That would come on Friday and Saturday. I don't know why anybody didn't take their specials there Well, I think they just come to laugh there. They came prepared good good people It was a good place to be good. That's what I miss about LA the Armenians I don't know. They're up north. You know Jersey's got a lot of Armenians, but up north. Yeah, so when I moved here They are meaning would call me all the time and say you want to buy a gun my friend. They'll see you [50:11] But when I went to my hometown and I had Armenians up there growing up not a lot of them like this one wrestler kid But when I went up there about five years ago, I noticed having Armenian church in Northburg. Oh, yeah So I was like yeah,, hey God don't wanna be here. They were everywhere. But I don't have them done by me. Not like Glendale. No, I miss them. You were out next to them. Yeah, no, no, and I just became. This is the last manly men. Yeah, they're fucking out of their minds. Unapologetically masculine men. Talk, that was my best drug deal. I miss him. We still talk once in a while. He's still fucking nuts. He's still, I don't know how these guys could do it. I mean, I was there with him 20 years ago for him to still, and he's still at that race. At that pace, I'm sorry. He's not at the pace like I go out to fly the inside of? No. No. No. No. [51:05] You know, now he just goes to Vegas for the week. Oh boy. Now he just goes to Vegas, hundreds and ex. Couple of ounces of blow. Do you think you could ever do a residency somewhere like a Vegas type deal? Yeah. Or people would come to see you. Yeah. You think about living in Vegas, Joey, is one, it's great tax benefits, but two you don't live in Vegas. No you live in like Henderson. Yeah or somewhere nice. People like it. Henderson's nice. People like it. What's that other place? There's another area of Vegas that's real nice. That's out further away. A lot of people live in Where red red rocks is where's red rocks? I was gonna say that but that's not what it's called red rocks. It's nice Colorado No, no, no red rock casino. Oh, that I was gonna say that that's not what it's called red rocks. It's nice come around No, no, no red rock casino. Oh, it might be what they call it The area red rock. Yeah, I mean it's a nice area. That's where the fatitas have that club summer red rocks [52:00] That's a day-to-way camel in there and he was down $600,000 playing blackjack. I was like, you fucking psychopath, what are you doing? Because I knew he did that, but I never went with him to do it until this one time. These guys are all gambling. Taylor won lost $120,000 in the first five minutes, and I'm fucking shit in my pants. I'm like, my getting anxiety. I can't watch this. This is insane. Taylor won at winning. He, I think he was up 60 and he quit. And Dana wanted to win it. Dana was down 600 and he won it up 600. Dana's good at card. Oh, he's a wizard. He got kicked out of the palms back in the day. He won like $70 million one night and they gave him the boot. They said, you're banned. Do you play cards? No, I mean, I did with my wife. I went with my wife with Whitney and Lex Friedman. We went to Vegas a while back during the pandemic. Whitney had a corporate gig. So it was like it was a, she did stand up at some lady's house. So I went to this rich lady had this house in Vegas and Dana Carvey and Whitney Cummings. And I introduced Whitney, [53:01] because I was just there and I was drunk. We just went from Andrew Schultz's wedding. So we went to Andrew Schultz's wedding in Montecito. We flew in a jet with Lex Friedman hammered out of his fucking mind. Whitney and my wife, we all went to Vegas for like the day. So we got there at 9 p.m. the gig is at 10. She does her gig and then we go out and we go and play cards. And it was a hilarious night Lex Friedman got a push-up contest with David Goggins I called Goggins and say we were in town Goggins met us there we hung out with Goggins and his wife and we played a little bit of cards But I'm not good at it. Did you know poker with five guys? No poker to me was always the thing that killed pool action guys. Nope. No poker to me was always the thing that killed pool action because you can't miss when you're playing poker. You can win or lose if you're gambling addict. There's a lot of guys that the thing about pool is making a shot. It's like the nine balls that's like it's eight to eight on a race to nine. You're shooting the nine ball for all the fucking marbles. [54:04] all the fucking marbles and that's what I like. I like these high pressure moments. I like the difficulty of like performing under pressure and cards didn't have any of that, but it had the gambling. So all the gambling addicts were just addicted to gambling. They didn't want to play pool anymore. They wanted to play cards. So we'd have these gin games, gin and rummy games. These guys would be playing all these card games when you couldn't get any pool games. So to me, I was like, this is not good. I don't like this. I can never sit with five guys all night. Like I know people play two, three days. I don't know. I can't do that. I'm not a game guy. Even Monopoly as a kid, once you start a buying hotel, I'm done. Poker is a very skillful game, and I'm sure I would love it. It's just like, I think I would love it. Off to me, like my friend's husband, he plays professionally. Place Poker, he lives out here. And he goes everywhere. He goes to these tournaments, there's these card places. There's one out in Round Rock that's this big fucking card card place, and you know like high level guys go there and they play and they play tournaments and he makes money like he's a real poker player. [55:09] Ari was a real poker player. Ari lived in LA. He played a lot of like real poker. But to me you know how I am I can't get into another thing. I'm too crazy. I get into another thing I'm playing. You know I got into archery of shooting arrows three hours a day. The only reason I can't do it more is my shoulder gives out. I get tired. Otherwise it'd be there all day, I'm a psychopath. And if you give me something like poker where all I have to do is sit there and do this and I get better at it and figure it out, I'll be doing that 12 hours a day. I can't do it, I don't think we're gonna play dice. Like streak dice on a streak. I walked by games all the fucking time as a kid. I didn't, I stopped for two minutes and a low, but I didn't play. There was a 30% chance that someone was gonna get punched or shot if there's ever a dice game. There's a 30% chance. I always thought that was like, this is like a high level of potential violent activity. Because people get mad, they lose, [56:05] they think someone's cheating, someone's got loaded dice, someone says they bet this, but they didn't bet this, they bet that, and it's like arguments and shit. Don't I used to go to this place? Not used to go, I went twice, with a crazy friend of mine, Chris. You fuck, 181st Street, it was a parking garage, maybe six floors. You just pulled in there was a guy standing there and also he'd open up a door and you pulled into a car elevator that put your car up The car brought you up to the six floor you fucking come out of your car you walk out of elevator Joe You thought you weren't fucking Vegas really everything was dark poker black Jack at all that shit those are exciting cocaine hookers day there was hookers on site people snorting on site twice I went down like this is too much from wow one time me and Chris we drove a girl out of there that we grew up with and then we all went [57:00] to a hotel and snorted coke till the next day so how do they get away with that do they make a deal with the cops? They pay the cops off? What do I do? Probably, probably. Get everybody to keep their mouth shut. I can't get everybody to keep their mouth shut. This is 30 years ago. Right. So this is a different mount mindset. I'm, yeah. It was up 181st. And all the cops find dirty cards. You know, I mean, but I don't know how they do it. They figure it out. You play, you have to pay like the, the battalion, you know, it's just somebody. You got to pay somebody. You got to pay them good money. Yeah, you got to give them a piece. So they have a vested interest in keeping the place open. See, I know people who had that, but they'd have moving locations. I mean, so the cops could never get a hold you say when you book numbers on the phone We had to get a new apartment every three weeks Not a personal apartment, right, but to book out of to book out of yeah, so I would get a My mom would get an apartment and then she would get three different apartments out of that apartment [58:04] So nobody could read what you're doing in a month later next door Then a month later on the block then you're back to that fucking building. So you pretty much pay rent on it. All those years rent was cheap. Now you get fucking you. Isn't it crazy how much underground gambling there was? With bookies and the numbers and the numbers is a big one. Numbers is big. You know underground casinos. I'm'm used to go with my buddy Martin Perez to this judo school. I never wanted to go. I was the more of a karate guy, but I would go with him. And it was like this old fucking Japanese guy and this old Cuban dude, and they would throw each other around. It was a Russian guy there. There's the 70s. And up the corner, there was a place where people would play cards. And I found out my stepfather would go there. And one day I went to Judah on the way out as I was walking towards the bus on St. Louis Street. I saw on Mark cars. I saw like two on Mark cars. When I got home then my step dad was getting ready to go, we go, he goes, I'm going to play cards. [59:00] And I go, you going on that eight street? He goes,, go don't go down there He goes why go because I was down there with Martin I saw the fucking two on mark cars down there and he goes what fuck do you know? I go what do I know that since I've been fucking five. I've been running to be a lookout Just on five. That's my job to look right keep my fucking eyes open and I would just pick up shit like that I would just pick up two on my cars He didn't go he thought about and he goes, okay, have you saw him? I won't go sure enough the next day I woke up He gave me 50 bucks He's like dog how the fuck did you know because I'm telling it? I fucking know they got rated they didn't know in those days They have to go early and they park like two blocks away because they're fucking lazy. You know, if you're gonna raid somebody, stay the fuck away from there, oh God damn day. Yeah. Then come in at night. Don't fucking lurk all day, we know. Second good fellas, they were following them all fucking day without a copter. Just bust them copter. Well, they wanna terrorize you before they get ya. Well, they wanna see what they want to see how you respond. Well, if you're cracked out, you're gonna go to try to get rid of something or you're gonna go to try to hide something [1:00:07] And they got your phone tap. They got everything so they put a cop car in front of your house To see where you react to see how your reaction would be. Yeah for the day and then you start cleaning the house You know you call people get everything out of your house. Whatever the fuck it is. Yeah, they come in and you know But it's a different world out there now. So I don't know nothing about that fucking world now. Yeah, it's a different one. And I don't want to know. Yeah. Because now those shoot you just for being there. None of you know. It's a different world in terms of law enforcement too. Yeah. People are getting out of what you did. You can't even have a record. You cannot fuck. You can hit somebody with a stick and be out that afternoon. Yeah, you wouldn't have a record and see out. Doug, I'm still going back and forth with these motherfuckers. That's why I look before. Because they still can't get your passport. [1:01:01] I just sent them the last thing you get a passport and we go overseas when we do gigs overseas You will get a passport when you do this when you do this We're gonna have to fucking fly in a day early We're gonna make it sick because I don't know if you're gonna be able to get it over there There might it might be a hard time once you land well anywhere UK anywhere dog Canada's a big one Canada's not gonna take me. We're not gonna go to Canada And I love Canadians I got none against can it is the way the country works They won't let the nicest guy we know is got a DUI and he can't get the camera, but they you could pay attacks Like Snoop Dogg, so you're telling me Snoop Dogg can't play Canada There's attacks you could pay little heavy and then you get out. It's like everybody else We could all settle this with an envelope. Well, you get an envelope anyway. When you do a gig in Canada, you got a big tax envelope. You get that in the UK too. You do a gig in the UK, you're paying. Let me tell you something. Before 9-11, I was going up to Toronto two times a year. [1:02:00] Okay. I had all these criminal charges, no warrants or anything. My friend from the Miami improv, dated a girl from Buffalo, and he called her father to pick me up at the Buffalo Airport, take me to his house and then cross me over the border. Before 9-11, there was a casino they go to. And you just drove in, right? And there was no ID, no nothing. And he would drive me to Toronto. He would drive me to Ontario and I take the bus to Toronto and do the two weeks and then come back But on the way back I would come on the bus. I Would drive those motherfuckers crazy dog when I give my license Did you start look at me and they go? When did you come in here and I go last week you were the guy that was working They would say no, I was it. I would have never let you come through. Well, you let me to fuck out now Because your record yeah, they would hold me for like 10 minutes like how did you get into this country? My god fucking bus you guys let me in last week. No, it was a mistake [1:03:08] We could have never let you in dog. I would fuck with them all the time I tried to do that cute shit during 9-11 They yanked me right the fuck out of there. Yeah, we're not taking this shit But to answer your question from before my plan is this I'm doing 10 spots Okay, I'm up the number three. Okay, when I do my 10 spots. I'm gonna decide what I wanna do. I'm not gonna travel no more. I'm not gonna get on fucking planes. That was brutal last night. That was brutal. Three and a half hours on a flight for me, I can't do that. Really? Yeah. I'm good for like an hour and a half. I went to Nashville on J.S.X. The private plane, the semi-private 30 people on tremendous. I recommend that to anybody if you don't like terminals. I fucking loved it. But they don't fly to Austin yet. They fly to Dallas and you have to connect to Austin. My plan is this. Start doing some sets at the stand. Start going home and seeing Chris Mezili at the Gotham comedy club. Do a couple of those. And when I'm feeling like I got 45 minutes, I'm going to take a residency somewhere. [1:04:02] Where's he going gonna go? AC or Parks Casino? Where's Parks? Philadelphia. I have no problem with Philadelphia. Philadelphia is great. Nobody's gonna ever walk out of my show in Philadelphia. No, they're fun. Yeah. Nobody will ever walk out of my show as in Philadelphia insulted. No. Nobody will get their feelings hurt. If I say a joke that you know I'm on the spectrum somebody's not gonna cry after the show and say that they're nephews on the spectrum and to show her their feelings, Philly that's never gonna happen. Animals. Animals. And Atlantic City. Animals. That's never gonna happen. Same people. Animals. Same people. That that's why people yeah, that's why I belong. Yeah, you could easily do a residence I would love to tell you I'm gonna put a tuxedo on and go to Vegas singing helpful songs and then fucking do an hour material I would love to tell you how to fly No, I get it. Do you think you'd ever live anywhere other than Jersey? [1:05:04] Yes, because if you lived in Vegas, you could do a residence there. We're not fucking crazy here. That's a tough Tough state to retire to in Jersey You know what I'm saying? Not cheap bro. Jersey's not cheap. No cheap. Pro Jersey's expensive And that's why everybody from Jersey flies to fucking Florida, you know I Like the lean towards Nashville Nashville skies outside in Nashville like get like you know Yeah, and it pro right now you could pick up a house in Nashville for nothing Well the ones I saw over the holidays brand new Not much show, you know because it's gonna be just a spare house. Mm-hmm. It's just a property to retire Right if I turn 65 you know much money. I'll say by having a Tennessee address You know, because it's gonna be just a spare house. It's just a property to retire it. Right. If I turn 65, you know how much money I'll save by having a Tennessee address? By living in Tennessee? A lot. They don't tax your pension. Yeah. They don't tax much, man. I read about Dubai. See if this is true. Dubai, there's no tax. [1:06:01] There's no income tax. None at all. They just have so much money. They're like, I need your money. Don't worry about it next year. And everything's clean. My friend will went over there and moved over there. He said to I goes, I don't know, get shot in America. He goes, I could live like, and be completely safe and Dubai. UAE does not levied income tax on individuals. However, levies a 5% value income tax on individuals. However, levy is a 5% value added tax on purchases of goods and services. Levy at each stage of the supply chain and ultimately born by the end consumer. That's not, yeah, but that's okay. If you know what that is, that's a big difference between that and income tax. Income tax is weird because you don't get any say in where it goes. And when you see what's going on with Ukraine, you see what's going on with Israel, you see what's going on with all the different shit that the Biden administration spends money on, all the money they're giving to illegal immigrants that are coming into the country, all the money they're giving for programs that are ridiculous, that's your money and you don't have any to say. You can't argue about it. [1:07:06] It's not, there's not a competition. So there's not a better company that's gonna come along and take care of the taxes in a better way, more efficient. There's no incentive to do it better. This fuck you, give me the money. We're not giving you credit, more money, right? We're giving them a lot more money. Yeah, that was one of the things that they were arguing about that they have to do both. They wanted the Ukraine budget to be lumped into the border fixing budget. Joe, it's wild. That fucking border. It's a wild thing. That border was doing down there, telling those motherfuckers to step off and shit. I met Abbot a few times. He's a good man. I like that guy a lot. You know, the sending the buses filled with immigrants to the sanctuary cities is such a crazy move. Like fuck you. You take care of them. You just let them in. Your policies are let them in. [1:08:00] You're encouraging people to go there because you're a sanctuary city. Good we'll help you out. We'll help you out. We'll bring them right to you and now the same politicians that we're running on this platform this mystery it's a fantasy platform this is a fantasy like come here we'll accept you all and let's say that the government now she's like that's enough no more there's you can't come here go somewhere else go somewhere else what does that mean go where they're already here there's you can't come here go somewhere else go somewhere else. What does that mean go where they're already here There's too many there's millions you guys have let millions in there's more illegal immigrants over the last few years Then our legal residents in like five states If you put together like Idaho Wyoming, you know like them the weird states with low populations, what's the number of illegal immigrants that have entered into this country over the last four years? Let's guess, what do you think it is? Millions. Yeah, 100%. Millions. 10 million? [1:09:02] Maybe 12. Maybe 12. What do you think it is, James? I saw those fucking lines. If they don't even know, by the way, they're just guessing. They're just guessing. They're just guessing. They're not counting them all. I don't know how to find that number even. Just try to good. No, I get. I've tried this before. You can't, I don't really tell you either. Because they have to figure it out themselves. Something you're allowed to cross. But they're trying to make everybody legal. That's part of the hustle. The hustle is make everybody document it. So you want to type in a legal immigrants entering US 2023, this is what it says. It says there's arrivals of migrants without prior authorization, which I guess that tech, I don't know if that's even illegal, you know, I don't know if that's even illegal. You know, I don't know. So in one year, a rival of ports of entry migrants, but that's ports of entry. That's not like coming in through the border. Right, that's, I don't know. Coming in through the border. That's like doing a homeless count. That's right. Why don't you Google this? How many illegal immigrants sneak through the border? Just Google that. How many illegal immigrants? [1:10:06] But just do it in my language. Do it how many illegal immigrants sneak through the border? Right, that's sneak. Sneak through the border. Let's see what's up. Record numbers. Okay, this is a real recent. December 24th, click on that. Let's say 50,000, but I don't still is like how many per day? I don't know. 50 that not can't be that much is it? That's crazy. Let me see that number now. Let's say. Okay. Oh, there it goes. Okay. In just the same. Okay, oh, there goes. Okay, in just the last five days, border patrol process nearly 50,000, whoa, five days who enter the US illegally with daily apprehension surpassing 10,000 thrice up from the 6,400 average last month. [1:11:04] Quarter federal data obtained by CBS News, roughly 1,500 immigrants are being processed each day at official border crossings under the Biden program powered by a phone app. But that's not sneaking across. That's why I was like, that's not answering the question you asked. Says it, but they are. It says entering the US illegally. But they're processed. Right. It's not sneaking. right, but they still made it across illegally They entered in illegally. That's just what I'm saying. I'm saying sneaking in, but that's really what they're processing anybody But they're just letting them go. This is what's crazy. They're processing you but it's a bullshit They don't they don't sell you have to go back. There's no going back you go in and they give you a a phone. They give you money. A phone? Yeah. Some places they're giving people phones. And so, if it's, let's say if it's, go back to that, it's past 10,000. It's a past 10,000 threase. So let's just say it's 50,000. So 10,000 a day. If it's 10,000 a day daily. That's the high end. Let's assume that they're not counting them all [1:12:06] and a lot of them sneak through. 10,000, that's 3,650,000 a year. That's a lot. Now how am I supposed to, you know, when I read all this shit, and I hear all this shit, how am I supposed to feed? If it really is 10,000 a day, that is fucking bananas. But think about it, how am I supposed to feel? How many am I gripped? How am I supposed to feel? I gotta hear these shit all day long, and I feel terrible about this shit. I would do it, but you see the lines and the people that are fucking coming through. It's nuts. And you know, listen, all this shit in New York, there's no overtime. Because all that budget has gone to the migrants. Yeah. And the migrants are not happy. No. They're losing their fucking mind. Well, they thought they were going to get jobs. Yeah. They were totally not. They're trying to start families. There's nothing there. There's nothing there homeless. And you know, we come out here to be homeless. The sanctuary city is now Now I don't even know. New York City is a sanctuary city. Yes. Okay. [1:13:06] Whoever made that didn't check with the people. No. You know what I mean? Like whoever said, we were a sanctuary city in New York city. Didn't check with the people in the community. But you know what it is? It's just letting everybody know you're not racist. You're not racist. You have no problem with immigrants. We're not racist. We're not, of course. We're not racist, but I see that my friend who's got two children that depends on over time from the sanitation department can't get it. He's a supervisor. He lost thousands in fucking salaries. Because it's all going to this. To the migrant phase. And cops know over time. So this is what this is doing. And this just isn't New York. It's gotta be in all the big cities. He's got to do a big problem on that. Texas, Houston, you know. And what comes from this? You don't know, again, we're going back to the Mario thing. I don't know who the fuck is coming in. Yeah. I don't know if they rape 22 women. I don't know if they're perfect fucking citizens. We don't know. So we're you know, this was just something listen [1:14:06] When I think of politics, I don't get involved Joe Rogan because it scares me The only thing that doesn't scare me is how a man How a man Could have 20,000 indictments and still lead the presidential fucking in our country. This is why America's America The presidential fucking in our country. This is why America's America How can fucking somebody have 92 fucking indictments? He's in New York yelling yesterday Yeah, but he still has 50% of the fucking country on lockdown Right isn't that like he has he's beaten Mickey Haley Yeah, I'm the other guy. Well, it's because it appears that they're they're prosecuting him for political purposes Yes, they are I mean, they're not a political guy. I'm telling you, they just throw them. They just keep fucking throwing things at this point. They throw things at them also. The don't make sense. Like we talked about the moral logo thing a bunch of times where they tried to say that he overvalued moral logo and the judge said it's worth 18 million. Nobody thinks that. Nobody thinks that. And it's not fucking human alive that thinks that place is only worth 18 million. Did you see her raise his hand this week? [1:15:06] Who? Sammy the bull. What do you say? Talking about fucking Trump. He's great. We can never corrupt him. The mafia can never. The Italians love Trump. Who? The Italians. They love Trump. He was incorruptible. He was saying at the end, my head going, fucking Sammy's a savage. He's a savage. Yeah, this is a strange time because there's people that are trying to paint everybody that's supporting Trump as being a white supremacist or a racist or an anti-immigration person or anti-human rights person. You want to vote in a dictator. They're trying to say the most ridiculous versions of what most of it is, because what most of it is is people that are fed up, they're fed up with the open border, they're fed up with the increasing government scrutiny on things like social media, they're fed up with the influence that big companies have over the things you do [1:16:02] and don't do in this country, they're fed up with us being in these fucking wars, constantly being involved in wars. And they know that Trump is one of the few guys that when he was in office, we didn't get into more wars. We did. He actually, they did do a great job of stopping ISIS. They did a lot of things with the economy that seemed to been working. I'm not an economist. I'm not the guy to have this conversation with. And if you wanna like talk about policies and what's effective, it's not effective. I'll tell you what's not effective. What's going on right now? What's going on right now is not good. And you wanna continue this, you're out of your fucking mind. You look at the just sheer raw numbers of dollars that we sent to other countries this year, that you have to realize that if you wanted the country to be better, you would have spent that money here. I love it. And if you spent that money on us and it stays in America, you've got American jobs to make American cities better. You could have done a fucking substantial amount [1:17:02] of rebuilding American cities with $170 billion. There's so much they could have done that could have elevated so many lives. And they didn't do anything. We're just talking about it. Buffalo. Cleveland. Pittsburgh. Yeah. All these cities up North New York and all that. They need a boost up there. They need something. Cleveland needs a boost. I went to Pittsburgh last year after the pandemic. That the fucking town was closed, brother. Yeah They need something man. Cleveland needs a boost. I went to Pittsburgh last year after the pandemic. After fucking town was closed brother. Yeah. Places had closed down. I mean, come on. Something called like a good restaurant closed down. How can they close down? Think about the impact of you can't have any business for three years. No business. So I mean, Tony Henscliffe's dad lost his restaurant. Yeah, Tony Henscliffe's dad lost his restaurant. He had a Tony Henscliffe's dad had a restaurant in Youngstown, Ohio for like 25 fucking years. And he couldn't, you know, he was getting by. He was getting by. He was doing well getting by, making money, good restaurant, like real Italian food. Fucking goes under. You know, it's like, God damn it. You know, you didn't even give people the option of what they wanted to do and you were wrong and no one is punished for it. [1:18:05] They were wrong. They shouldn't have had us locked down for that long. They were wrong. No, that shit made sense. All that six-foot social distancing. Fouchy now admits it's all bullshit. They just came up with that number. People just started saying that number. Remember those stupid stickers on the ground of the bank? You get a sticker. You weren't allowed to like stand here, and then the other person has to say six feet in front of you and you stand there, you're not allowed to get close. It's all nonsense. It was all nonsense. And they scared the fuck out of people and they kept businesses closed. And they closed restaurants in Los Angeles. They closed outdoor dining just because of the optics of it. Because COVID started to surge. There was no evidence at all that it was causing outdoor transmission and they closed those fucking things down. They shouldn't be allowed to have that kind of power over whether or not you can make a living and the choices that you make because they are just human beings too and not only are they often uninformed, they're often [1:19:02] misinformed, they're often absolutely victims of some sort of corporate propaganda that they've been used as a mouthpiece to promote, and they're affecting these people that have worked their whole lives for 20, 30 years. And it's such a selfish shitty fucked up way to run a city. And a selfish shitty fucked up way to run a country. And you didn't listen to all the experts and you didn't take into consideration people's health mental health from losing their jobs how many people would have been fine how many people need this fucking medicine that you're trying to push on and how many don't and who's making the money off of them the whole thing was insane and it was right in front of your face because we live in 2024 and the fucking internet is everywhere You can't run these giant scams like this where you just fucking over the whole country Well, that everybody just being able to piece it together at the end of the scam and go old now We know how they do it look at they all were working in cooots together They were literally paying media companies to shame people that were anti-vaccine, the government was involved in censoring social media posts, [1:20:08] wild shit Joey, wild shit. So, for people to go through all that and lose their business and be on the other side, and then Trump comes along, and he's like, that's enough. You can't just label all those people's white supremacists. You can't label all those fucking people as hateful bigots because that's not what it is. They don't want any more of this. They're tired of this nonsense that you're shoving down people's faces. They're tired of it. So that doesn't mean that they're evil. And this narrative is stupid. This narrative that everyone on the other side that disagrees with you doesn't see that they're like fundamental problems the way things are being run right now. Everyone is hateful. Everyone supports a dictator. You guys are out of your fucking minds. And then we got Cuba. [1:21:01] And then the starvation still. What are they doing now that Castro's dead? Is his son running it? Who's running Cuba? They're not having election Elections they should bring back the mob that's when it was running. Don't even fucking paper. That's when I was running Smooch. Shit. Hey, so love going people used to love going to Cuba. It used to be the place to go They had gambling there. They were going gamble Famous people used's going to Cuba. Before the revolution, right? Like, what's the, what's the guy's name? You're introducing me to today. He owns a company, really nice sweet guy. Oh, bring him from Waste of Well? Yeah. Me and him had a tremendous combs, because he went. He went to Cuba and he had to get a visa as a student to something and he was blown to fuck away But he was more blown away about going into those palaces and those casinos Uh-huh, and they still have pictures of the people sitting where you were you know, it's a notch right in fucking brando and Rock Hudson and all these you know, we don't even know we don't even know [1:22:02] How like how many planes would go down every day No, we don't even know how, like how many planes would go down every day with fucking people from here. It was amazing. I'll tell you one thing. You ask a Cuban in Miami who they're voting for? You're gonna get a red wave, son. You want to talk about people that vote Republican? You want to talk about people that don't want to hear no bullshit about socialism? Shut the fuck up. Cubans will yell at you. If you want to talk that nonsense, woke hippie shit about Marxism, they will fucking yell at you. That is not the type of shit to talk about those people. Whoa, those people have actually felt it. They escaped it. Yeah, I'm sitting there, Joe. and they're talking about Trump on some CNN and some and I had a stop and go I could just imagine what Cubans in Miami are saying in Spanish It is fucking hilarious Yeah, you know, they love Trump. They love Trump because I just spoke to like a cousin of mine He's like Trump and he got you know, and I'm like, oh my god. They love republic day love Trump [1:23:03] And I could just imagine them going oh yeah and Kepa and Kepa a One people Kero tambi lando control a pinga actor To aria, but I said president or tell us from either for a Cuban they fucking love that shit What I just said was what other country Kawaie don't tell me what other country can you have 30 indictments? It's still be fucking president at this state. Yeah, that's it. It's only one. I mean, maybe there's another country there. If you don't give me that fucking can, I'm gonna stab you soon. Why? Open it? Because you keep... Are you trying to open it? No, no, no, I can open it. Oh my god, I'm like, no, I can open all your time. Okay, I'm like, I'm not just playing with it, sorry. You're not as strong with it. Oh my god, that's hilarious. Now what is that? No, no, no, it's nicotine pouch. They good, oh yeah, they're good, you want one? Well flavored. This is a experiment. Am I gonna fucking get dizzy? No, you get take it in. Take it in the side. There you go. [1:24:06] Let's go Joey. Whoo, right? Like right away. You're like Jesus. Yeah, the whole presidential election the thing that scares me is if if the Democrats stay in power and Biden stays in power you feel the same administration We're headed in the same exact direction as we are right now. And if Trump gets in the office, then people are going to freak the fuck out. And then there's probably going to be riots. There's probably going to be some craziness. Probably going to be violence. Probably going to be organized stuff too. There's probably going to be nefarious groups that organize people to start civil unrest. That's a real thing. Whatever those groups are, whoever you wanna call them, that's a real thing, whether it's Antifa, whatever you wanna say. Groups of human beings that will purposely start civil unrest in order to push a narrative about a political movement [1:25:01] that the people are tired of trying to leave, they're hateful. You know what, Jim Brewer has a fucking great bit about the women's march. He was remembered when Trump was an off in the women's march. The women's march just, yeah, you knew who a woman was then. Isn't that a great joke? That's only 2016. 2016, he gets in the office. There's this giant women's march. And now no one can tell you what a woman is if you had a giant women's march today we have guys And you can't say shit there's your sister is and then they'll they'll hold an election the men will win because they're more aggressive Then you got a man running a woman's organization who says is a woman The crazy fucking world you see this video, this is a lady in Chicago, and this guy is trying to use the women's room, and she's going in there with her daughter, and this guy is a full beard, just a full beard, and she's yelling at him. She's like, you are a whole man. And he's like, I am a woman. And like, big deep breath, deep voice, [1:26:02] big husky guy with a fucking beard. It's like, it's like, what the fuck man? Like what the fuck? Is this really, is this being kind? Is that what this is? Is this being open-minded and compassionate? Or is this opening the door to fucking psychopaths? This is it, yeah, click this, look at this. This is, don't get in my bag, do not get in my bag. Don't get in my bag, it yeah click this look at this look at this look at this look at this size of that dude you need to go over that to me you need to go over that to me you need to go over that to me I'm sorry We see this guy this guy's a big dude. Hey, it's with a beard Hey man, you know the bathroom Use another bathroom [1:27:04] That's a child That's a child. That's a child in there. A little girl. Like a man bathroom. Okay. So that that's a real thing. Now the people that want to deny that that's a real thing. You're doing a disservice for everyone. You're doing a disservice to all the innocent women that want to deny that that's a real thing, you're doing a disservice for everyone. You're doing a disservice to all the innocent women that have to go into those bathrooms and don't feel safe. And you're doing a disservice to real trans people. There's gonna be a bunch of people that game your system. And there's gonna be a bunch of perverts with fucking beards who want to go where the little girls are shitting. People are out of their minds. There's a certain percentage of people that are out of their fucking minds. It doesn't mean that all trans people are bad. It doesn't mean that all trans people are out of their minds. It means that you have to know what's crazy and what's not. And that's fucking crazy. That's crazy. [1:28:01] That's a mentally ill person with a fucking beard trying to get into a bathroom when a mother and her daughter are in there. That's crazy. The cops weren't called. Well, it's Chicago, right? And what happens if the cops come now? What happens if that situation of the cops come? There was no straw to it. Shit, if that was in San Francisco, they might have arrested that lady. They might have arrested her for being a bigot. Who fucking knows, man? It's Narnia out there. It's a fantasy world. People have lost their fucking mind, and I think it's engineered. I think that China has been tick-tock in these fucking people into a coma. I think all those little videos where, you know, trans awareness and, you know, and maybe you're trans and there are no genders, just a hundred, and then psychos, like that guy, now think that the culture has moved to the point where they can kinda get away with it. [1:29:03] Maybe the culture has changed their opinion on things. I think I can get away with this. I think I can wear my full beard with my dick out and go around women. And there's gonna be guys like that, just like there's real trans people. There's gonna be guys that are crazy that take advantage of this thing that I think has been at least partially engineered by other countries i think the algorithm supporting that pushing that out to people people are super easily influenced man super easily influenced and if you make it this thing we just have to accept everything that happens to be trans everything is fine as long as you call it trans well then what about perverts don't you think perverts gonna game that system this is a willy-wank a golden ticket about perverts? Don't you think perverts are gonna game that system? This is a Willy Wonka golden ticket for perverts. That's what it is. Wasn't there a fucking Ted talk a couple years ago about some chick saying that we need better files? I'm looking through comments on this saying that this video we just watched is satire. Really? Yeah, I've seen other videos like this [1:30:01] where there are people that... I don't know who they are, but there are groups of people that will make videos like this that make them seem real. And then piss them off. Yeah, that lady's been great actress. I'm not saying it is, but I'm looking at a lot of comments on TikToks and this is stage, this is fake. Well, they might be right, but that lady, if that's true, that lady's a fucking great actress. Because that lady really did seem like someone who was very flustered and was trying to protect her daughter. Yes, she was. And if it is satire and you use that dart, that girl was a really good actress too. Because she looked like a girl would respond if a fucking grown man was trying to get in the bathroom, and her mother was fighting with this grown man, like she was frozen. So if that's true, if that is fake, they're really good actors. I tell you when I knew the world was going crazy Weight watches is offering fucking Those shots. I was in the shots. Yeah Yeah, well, there's a lot of money in those shots Joey Diaz. I don't know if you know that no, I didn't oh [1:31:00] Yeah, do you know that those weight loss drug shots like these peptides? It's one of the biggest weight loss markets It's ever existed that they're gets emerged They're everywhere now everywhere like what other How much how many people are on ozemic and wago v and all these other like what's the numbers? GLP one yeah agonists or whatever they are. That's not a free ride either. Brian Simpson tried that shit and got wrecked. He's one of the few, like a certain percentage of people they do, they have a bad side effect. And he was one of those terrible gastrointestinal pain. Like he was an agony. Really? Yeah, yeah, he had a quit it right away. One database that has... I'm still a little apprehensive after the vaccine. Yeah. Because, you know, I was just... Another thing that just popped up. Yeah. Yeah, I've been talking about it for a few years. I would have jumped on it, but it just popped up. Well, some people, Brigham supports it. Brigham says it's like for people that want to lose weight. It is one of the only ways where you can kind of guarantee that they can lose weight. [1:32:09] But there's the argument about that a lot of people are losing muscle mass and they're losing bone mass along with the weight. He's saying, yeah, but that's because they're not doing it right. And they're not going to do it with peptides. And he said they should do it with resistance training. Well, the guy I really know that he even talked to me about. He'll show you, consider it. So look at this. It says 1.7% of people in the US have been prescribed a semi-glutide medication in 2023, up 40 fold over the past five years. So it was, I mean, I never even heard of it before 2022. No. Okay. So that's that's then. So 1.7% now. So somewhere around some of the neighborhood of two million people around in this country. [1:33:02] Now my friend said if you do it correctly, he goes what happened was Dr. Spescribe to Tia and nobody did the fucking research on it. So they did the wrong, I work out with a guy, Joe, for the life, Tom, this motherfucker, he's very smart, like you, very like this is his thing. And I asked him once, because he asked me, he goes, have you ever if you ever considered like I don't know do you recommend and he goes Let me tell you something if you do it correctly. It'll work He goes I read into a bunch of studies, but he goes what they don't tell you is you have to change your eating Do you have to eat the protein first on your dish? Because you're gonna get too full by the time you get to your carbs So he goes people were eating it neat and salad And that's why they were losing the muscle mass and everything. Because you gotta double your protein intake. Now, like a bodybuilder needs 150 to 180 grams for fucking protein intake. Joe, I could squeeze out 100 if I'm lucky buddy. Eggs are seven grams each, right? [1:34:03] Three eggs for breakfast, no steak. You know, I'll eat all that shit later But how do you do 150 fucking grams a day of protein? All I eat is meat that's five fucking meals that's five thirty grand meals. I'm sure I get close to that So that's what he was saying that people were not doing it right it works 80% better with resistance training. Mm, I'm sure. 80% better. I'm sure. Okay. Anytime you're essentially what it does is it kills your desire to eat, right? It kills your appetite, right? So you eat less, right? It's basically doing the same thing is if you had a controlled diet and you decided that you were gonna eat less, when you're going into starvation mode, so you're burning off more calories than your body consumes, your body is going to start eating its tissue. You're going to eat some muscle mass, you're going to eat some, because you're just not doing it. But if you did do it with peptides and you did do it with weight lifting, I would imagine, I mean, I imagine a lot of that [1:35:05] 35% they're talking about is like, people didn't do anything. I bet a lot of people just took the shots and especially their overweight already. And drink alcohol. They don't have a healthy lifestyle. No, shit, no. But I do know that some people get side effects. And that was Brian. Brian got one of the bad side effects. They're pretty common. You know enough enough people get them to that It's something you have to you know I called you about the peptide and then you turn me on. Thank you again for the stem cells today Yeah, I hope they help your name. I didn't fat pass out good beautiful faith. I had to leave you in the room No, I wish you would have came and talked to me a little bit the nurses were great. They're great waste wells Awesome. I love that place. I could tell you and I even told her to a face. I go. I'd love to tell you I felt the needle Wow, well, they're really good. They're really good. I love to tell you I felt the needle I didn't even feel it. I put my iPod on [1:36:00] Beautiful, then I did the fucking IV That's a bad idea. Beautiful. Then I did the fucking IV. They have people black out all the time. He was talking about GSB. He was talking about GSB skin and needles. That's hilarious. That's a lot of fun in that guy. Telling you that it is the weirdest fear that you could ever fucking have. GSB is so interesting because he's such a man that he's not afraid at all to tell you what he's afraid of You know, I'm saying like he hasn't put on any no there's no bluster. There's no bullshit What he is is what he is? Don't got up my friends parent when I was a kid. I brought a snake into his house This guy was a fucking iron worker That tough is nails break in Irish This guy was in the war in the corner saying to me, Joey, I beg you get that out of my house. And I kept busing his boss. Come on. Are you really scared of this? Look, it was a little garter snake, dog. I mean, he was ready to climb into the fucking corner there. That's a real thing. That's phobias and videophobia. Dog, the best one I was telling her, but I didn't tell her the truth. I told the nurse about a different story, [1:37:06] but when I went to prison, you have to do a physical. So here I am in prison, you know, like you got to fucking hold your own. I go in there, they put me at a desk, and I'm like, Lord, don't let me pass out, not today. Because I will wake up. These brothers will yank me dog do not pass out and show I fucking kept it together whoo I went back into the holding tack what up what up what up yeah you know we did next thing you know I fucking put the arm down I took the cotton ball off and there was a red dollar blood I fucking hate it I have thousands of I never told anybody to shoot the hard rip my menescus Let me tell you how rip my meniscus. Yeah, I was a lachy puncture and I was like this On the because at that time she didn't lay me down. She sat me down Mm-hmm, and I was like this and she started sticking needles into me and I fainted and the chair [1:38:00] I buckled and I just fell off the chair onto the floor. Oh no. I tore my meniscus at acupuncture. Who does that? Talk, I have a thousand. You know, you know, my wife had a stop. She was my girlfriend. She would send me down to get a blood test. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't go. I would be petrified. Petrified. Petrified pet needles petrified I just date a girl and when she saw someone getting a needle in a movie should faint bro I fainted in pop fiction when they stuck the needle in the heart I was on a date and both and all send the girls putting raisin. That's it my mom Saying I think you passed out. I did fucking pass out. Oh She was trying to revive you with raisin. That raising that she didn't know she's just passed back Come on guys. I got ten you know I And it's always hitting missed lately the last Ten years I've been very good Except for a couple IVs in my hand that didn't work, but besides that I've been very good [1:39:01] Two three months ago. I did the PRP on my knee. It took six bloods of six tubes of blood out That was no bueno for papa. You know my boy Tommy Tommy Tommy Jr Yeah, yeah Tommy just fell asleep on the wheel Shoveling snow all day shovel in this car of snow is driving and it's got the dash cam footage just falls asleep It's a fucking wall. Is you okay? Yeah, he's he's banged up. It's banged up. Got some injuries But what he's before on the sleep? He just doesn't know what happened. He just blacked out It's blacked out driving from exertion You know if your guy was out of shape Snow is heavy right especially if it's melting a little bit, and you gotta do your whole driveway, that's a workout, man. That's a workout, it's not a workout. Not good after 50. Well, it's not good if you're not in shape. It's great if you're in shape, it's a really good workout. Like you could get a, like I could put a fucking chest strap on and set an app for a workout and shovel and snow. Oh yeah. And it's a real workout. We used to shovel snow when I was a kid. [1:40:06] That was a great way to make money. I shovel fucking snow when I was in the dump. For money? When I was 19, I shoveled snow and assmen. It would knock on people's doors. No, the guy just, I was part of the building crew. It was 15 an hour and you went out there, whatever I I was you wanted it was work your own hours. Yeah fucking fantastic. I loved it I was also case in our joints You know that's why the drug dealers lives I was shoveling case and yeah when I was a kid We would make a ton of money now you can't get a kid to come out No and Jersey Not that nobody knocks on my door. I was out the last week. It was understood in the neighborhood That's how people would make money So like the the moment, like it would start snowing, people would be showing up at people's houses, ask them if they wanted to get shoveled out. That was second, I used to go on the road and push motherfuckers, that's a quick 20. Oh yeah, you push a motherfucker out of a hole, hold you, do anything for you, seriously. Oh yeah, there's always people stuck to it. Pushing and then shoveling them out. They got stuck. Fucking putting rocks off there. [1:41:06] The thing is about like real cold places like that. People will fucking help you because they know you could die. Like if you see a highway and some guys it's snowing and some guys over to the side of the road and it's hoods up, let's pick this guy up. Like it's a dangerous thing to do but a lot of people do it there. A lot of people do it. They'll pick people up in the snow. I would, listen man, I just was told when I moved to Jersey to be careful when I shove. A lot of people drop, fucking shovel and sn\ufffd. You get a heart attack. It's real work. But is it cause of the cold weather? Or, it's, well, the weather's cold, but I don't think that's fucking you up, I think it's just the exertion. It's a lot of workin' out. Like if you, let's say you have a hundred yard driveway, you know? That's crazy. That's crazy. Okay, let's say it's 20 yards. Let's say you yard, that's a lot to shovel. If it's wet, if it's melting a lot, let's say that every shovelful is 40 pounds, okay? If you're doin doing every shovel full 40 pounds for reps, so you're essentially doing this [1:42:09] for reps and then carrying it you're doing 500 reps For example after only two minutes of snow shoveling study participants heart reads exceeded 85% of maximal heart rate which is a level more commonly expected during intense aerobic exercise testing. The impact is hardest on those people who are at least fit duh. And that's unfortunately my boy Tommy. So he just fucking, and just blacked out on the wheel. Yeah, I just, it snowed two weeks ago. I got a two car driveway. I shoveled it with my wife my daughter came out through some fucking salt I did the stairs we didn't touch the sidewalk because nobody walks on them if you're fit You should look at it as your workout dude. That's a workout get out there and fucking get after it do it do it like a workout pro [1:43:02] Jamie young Jamie can I ask you for a favor? Can you show Joe the people shoveling Buffalo Stadium last weekend? That was fucking work and they pay you 20 an hour. They feed you and they give you two tickets for the game. Oh really? Yeah. Oh, that's not bad deal. Fuck you shit. You're a kid. That's a good deal. You get to see. Bro, there were no kids out there. There was a bunch of fat dudes like me out there playing back He's one of dickets. Yeah, let me see what that looks like oh my god look at this look at the stuff Wow, they're pushing all that snow down the shoot. That's crazy. They couldn't get it out They just let you could pick your seat when they did they play in that snow no would have they would have they know where the lines are they come out after every play and blow off the lines oh my god that's hilarious uh... they only blow off the lines so you're running through snow for the what's like the heaviest snow they've ever played in all show you [1:44:01] but look at that that is crazy is crazy. It's buffalo. That's crazy. You know, there's something very American about that. You have to play in the snow. I mean, that is the game, right? Because it baseball, like, oh, it's over folks. It's raining out. Can't have these players get wet? Not this. Why don't they play baseball on the rain? Play it in the fucking rain. What are you doing? Play the game in the rain. Who gives it shit? Oh, it's a rain day. We called it for rain. Fuck me. Well, it's snowing. Last week. Last week. Zero degrees. And those guys are playing football. Last week in Kansas City was the coldest football game. A wall time. How cold was it? Young J. Mine outside. I think the win show was minus. There was motherfuckers at no t-shirts on it. I guess like 60 people went to the hospital. Audience members. 69 people needed help from the fire department. Yeah. [1:45:01] You know, one of the dudes that survived the Titanic, he was in the water for two hours. I think he was a chef, and the story was that he got drunk before he went in the water. He just got hammered, because he knew he was gonna die. And somehow or another, because he was drunk, he survived. See if you can find that. I was reading this. I was like, how does that make sense? How a baker survived the Titanic sinking by getting really drunk. God damn you son of a biker, these motherfuckers. Do, do, do. There we go. Okay. So, can you go back up so I could read the scroll. So it says Charles, how do you say that? Jo-Hen, how do you say that, Jimmy? Jo-Hin, Jo-Hin was one of the disaster's most unlikely survivors, and he did it thanks to industrial amounts of liquor. So this dude got super duper hammered before he went in the water, and somehow another, it helped him survive. [1:46:02] It was an almost physiologically impossible feet of survival and according to the british titanic inquiry is because the thirty three year old anguish men had the presence of mind to greet histories greatest maritime disaster by getting smashed so you know he was dying he knows dying so you decided to get fucked up but he survived uh... in survival situations having all that warm blood away from the vital organs means that the drinker is at a greater risk of hypothermia. However, Canadian hypothermia, expert, Gordon Geysbrick figures in the minus two degrees Celsius temperature of the North Atlantic. The water was cold enough to quickly tighten Joheans's blood vessels and cancel out any effects of the alcohol. So then at low-to-moderate doses of alcohol, cold will win out. Says Guy Bracht, a University of Manitoba professor has performed hundreds of cold water emergency studies. [1:47:01] With Joheen would have had, however, is the awesome life-saving power of liquid courage. Alcohol remains a leading cause of humans getting into fatal situations, including freezing a desk. Nevertheless, the relaxing qualities of the drug have long been known to give humans an uncanny ability to survive trauma. This reminded me of the story of the lady that passed out in the snow and her friends found her like the next day and they brought her into still alive. Yeah they're sitting right here in the ER. Cold patients who are really drunk can walk in and they're conscious at a temperature that wish that they shouldn't be. So did you be a drunk keeps you alive keep scrolling down a little more? That's it? No, no. Yeah. His actions might speak to a man unfazed by impending disaster, immediately upon hearing the collision with an iceberg, the chief baker leapt out of his bonk and began dispatching his staff to stock the lifeboats with bread and biscuits. This done, he popped back into his cabin for a drink before heading topside to help load lifeboats. Not only did Joaquin, however, say his name, Joaquin, refuse his own place [1:48:08] on a boat, but he and a few other men became forcibly chuckling, reluctant women into empty seats, likely saving their lives. He said we threw them in, he testified top deck of the increasingly listing titanic was mostly clear to lifeboats by one thirty a.m. to most this was a panic inducing sign that all hopes of rescue is gone but to uh... whatever's name is it was a cue to head back to his cabin for another drink so this is just getting fucked up he sat down on his bunk and nurse along aware but not particularly caring that the water now rippled through the cabin doorway, wrote a story in Walter Lorde, a knight to remember. Lorde was in touch with the dude before the baker's 1956 death. He said the dude then splashed topside again, where he took upon himself to begin throwing [1:49:01] deck chairs overboard with an eye to filling the water with impromptu flotation devices. So the people could float around on the chairs, is perched, he then worked his way back to the pantry to get a drink of water, the bake were standing on the stern, when the ship broke in half. And yet he remembered the violent catastrophic break up only as a great list over to port. There was no great shock or anything he told Dean Quire, so he was just hammered. Definitely moving through the swarms of people, he made it to the stern rail, the ship, exactly 220 AM, he rode the sinking Titanic into the sea like an elevator. Whoa! As with all surviving Titanic crew members, 220 AM on April 15th, 1912 was also the exact moment in which the white star line stopped paying him. Oh boy. The first stage of Cold Water Emerge is known as Cold Shock, horrifying sensation of having the skin cool, the feelings with the Titanic's second officer, Charles Lighttowler, described [1:50:03] as being like a thousand knives being driven into one's body. So this how does this do survive? What did he float around on for two hours? Let's say? I was just paddling and treading water for two hours. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm Leo couldn't do that then in the movie. Just sunken the water after two hours. But Leo wasn't hammered and he gave up. This dude didn't give up. He paddled water for hours. I guess he took a couple hours for him to get someone to get to them. Yeah, he's at the two hours. Which is pretty impressive that they got to them in two hours. I'm eventually told. In 19 what? What was this like? 19. There's somewhere around there. Not with the exact 1912. Some, I don't know. It's the early 1900. So the fact they got to them in two hours is pretty amazing. 1919. [1:51:00] Oh no, 107th and yeah, okay. So yeah 1912 wow Let me go think over a quick. Yeah, I'll go to we're right back Yeah, um, so she fell out of an airplane and she landed on Ant Hill How big was that fucking Ant Hill and it was fire ants? How big was that fucking an hill and it was fire ants? Yeah, this one here doesn't say that it was a 1999 47 year old woman Joan Murray altitude of 14,500 feet Second parachute also failed to deploy. Oh my god crashed into a fire and mound at more than 80 miles an hour. Oh my god. Immediately started attacking her body, which kept her alive because of the adrenaline. Oh my god. And then she's still survived. She was in a coma for two weeks, had operations, but she's still alive, I think. Jesus. [1:52:00] One of the, did they slower down at all the parachutes? 80 miles an hour is pretty fucking fast Jesus, yeah, I don't know what terminal velocity is if you don't have one Fuck parachutes bro, huh fuck parachutes. I like to try it. Yeah, I get set it up really you got you. Oh, yeah I got guys high up. Really? Yeah. Oh yeah. I got guys high. I don't do it. You would be as I said it for a rush. You might not be able to. You might be too big. Too big. Yeah. I think there's a number. Like a guy was just telling us the other day on Killtony that he had to lose weight. I think was it for parachuting? Yeah. I think there's a number. I think yeah, I think you'd be like above 220 or something before Paris shoot with a whole no and you have to have someone in your back too The first time you do it this person's got to do it with you. Oh fuck yeah That Joey Diaz fuck that [1:53:03] I'm sure it's exciting. I don't need that in my life. My life is exciting enough. This is Travis Pastrana. This is a long time ago. It's the X Games promo. Did he go into the net? No, so he is, he's like the crazy crazy guy. Jump so that it'll does all sorts of stuff. Motocross, but I don't know if you just noticed. He jumped out without a parachute. Yeah. He's got nothing there. And he threw his can away the red bull but the red bull can is gonna hit someone in the fucking head and kill him i think it was empty yeah if it's coming from space bro that red bull can't get fuck you up so someone has to grab him he yeah he ends up it looks like that's all they did is just put his legs around him well now they gave him a parachute no he's just strapped he's just locked out locked on to that guy. Oh, and they they go all the way down and he's like barely attached. Oh my god. That's so nuts. I'm sure it's exciting, but fuck that right? Come on, Joe. Every once in a while you gotta do something. I'll be comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not it. I wouldn't got you know [1:54:01] I would have never dreamed of that ship, but it makes a better person you gotta do this little shit like that. I guess I don't know if you have to do that That's not a little shit jumping out of a fucking plane with no parachute. That's not a little thing I mean you gotta fucking get a rise on something after a while I think that's a big thing. I would advise you not doing that one. No, no, no, no, but you know, you gotta try shit. I got it. You know, I still remember going to Colorado when I was 19 and people go, do you wanna go skiing and I go fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I'll never ski skiing this, that, you break your legs until I got up there, Joe. I was so lonely on Christmas day, I go fuck it. Let me go get some skis and go up there. Really? And it would change my life. And ever since that, I'm like, you know, every once in a while, listen, it's not gonna work out. It's not like I get skiing out, and no fucking way. But at least I got to do it. Then the thing about skiing is everybody tries to go on harder courses than you can control. You got a sharpened to the bench got it [1:55:07] We got to get you to whatever wait lifting whatever. It's the same thing Well also there's a lot of people that try skiing that don't do anything else No, and they the worst thing is when people say to me I'm going skiing They haven't done anything. Yeah, they haven't done anything first of all all, you go to Aspen, I used to be a fucking security fucking driver up there. Okay. I'd see the people that would come in the amount of alcohol, the amount of shit. Let me tell you what happens. After one day of skiing, if you're not skiing consistently, bro, you use muscles you haven't used before. I don't care. I'm least squat you do in kettlebells. Let's go skiing. Just read the times down to medium hell. The next day you'll go, fuck, this hurts in here. My hamstrings hurt. Different things hurt. They use different fucking muscles. For sure. When you ski. So people go up there, dog, that's not a, you got to prepare for that shit. But I lived in a snowmast. So it was like going to a summer camp. I got to ski every day. Whether it was two runs before work or three runs after work. [1:56:06] So you get good, you get used to it. The falls become easier and next thing you know you're up there with no winter jacket. I don't even know fucking winter jacket. This will do a hood and sweatshirt. It's great. Do you ski with another helmet? That wasn't even helmets for skiing when I was skiing. This is 50 fucking years ago. You went up there, you know, and then it was just something that I never thought I would do like white water after That shit is great up there, you know you go down from Asman all the way down to Glenwood Springs and shit I loved all that crazy stuff. Yeah, you know that was but I don't like camping Because you can't wash your pussy That was but I don't like camping because you can't wash your pussy Okay, I'm not gonna sit we in a tent for four days with a stinky asshole That ain't an adventure for me if you want to go camping. I'm like a white camper. I want a shower I want a restaurant. You know the saying of this something on the location and this there's those things [1:57:03] But I always want to like bungee jump one time or something Something out of a plane just something nothing happened to be you know, I jumped off a cliff Into water, you know 20 feet Whatever but just to for somebody to say you could jump off that cliff and Hawaii and land and you got 100 feet under Nothing's gonna happen to you. I'm fucking try it. You can if you fuck up you land wrong. I don't know if someone will land on their ass. They land on their ass instead of straight and they fuck their back up. No you're done. You're done. But that's funny what you said before but somebody thrown a can up in the sky. Yeah. That red bull can that that's 15,000 feet in the air. Dog, I almost got arrested when I was like 10, for almost killing the dude in Puerto Rico. I went to Puerto Rico and my parents, my mom and the other parents left us alone and went out. And we started throwing fucking ice off the balcony and shit and we kept them throwing it and throwing it. And next thing you know, I heard an ambulance and fucking cops were knocking on all the [1:58:02] doors and they fucking, they knew knew was us. The guy was on the floor fucking out guy with a little fucking ice cube from the 6'4. Hmm yeah 6'4 ice cube hit you in the head. 6 fucking. That'll fracture your fucking skull. Man I used to do so many crazy things like that show. When I was on 88's 2, when I was like six to seven. I would play with these kids. There was a 205 West 88. She was on the corner. Then there was a parking garage. It's still that. And I would play in there with the kids. And then when I would get a little bit of anxiety, I would go up to my apartment, to my bedroom, and my mother used to have the 45s from the record player at the bar. And she would give me the ones she'd take out. And I'd go by the window and I'd just throw them out. And they would come out like boomerang, shh, and come down and you, hey, stop that. And I'd just throw like 50 of them out. And then you'd hear like the kids going, hey, fuck you, they didn't know it was me. And then I would come back, what happened? Some mother fuck up there just throwing fucking things on me. One day I kid a kid with a thing but he just fell down for a few minutes. [1:59:06] I'm not the time. There was a place when I was growing up in North Bergen called Duratest. They just made light bulbs. But they made the long fluorescent ones. You know, many times I didn't have with us. We would jump in their dumpster and take all the fluorescent bulbs out and light bulbs and just hit each other with that that dust that comes out of a fucking fluorescent light bulb in the 70s Oh my god, so we would have those light bulb wars all the time and then we started having them from the roofs and people throw light Light bulbs up at us and we would throw light bulbs back and I I would put the light bobs on the floor and then that had we Called them spears, you know the fucking and we throw the fucking long fluorescent lights at them When they picked up a light bulb, I didn't know I picked up a rock with that motherfucker And I just drew it at the kid nursing the kids looking right at me I saw that rock just go and he just went backwards now [2:00:01] This was a pervert kid his name was Ali him and his brother Like we were 10 or 12 and him and his brother were going to hookah houses. His father would take him in the city when he was like 10 or 11 and he would come back and tell us they washed our deck. He was tremendous. I hit that kid and it had so hard with that rock without knowing. It wasn't no malice intended. But when I got down there, the lump had gone up off his head like one of those fights when the guy has a lump at Tuma and they had like a little pimple with blood in it. It was already filled up though And then I started to say that I felt so bad. I was giggling inside but He feel fucking bad when you do that shit. His dad took him to a brothel when he was 10 every weekend They were Cuban the Ali brothers, Juan and Carlos Ali. Juan was the brains of the operation. Carlos is a little bit on the slow brother. He was like the Lenny of the Squiggy. How crazy is it taking a 10 year old to a brothel? Well, they were going every weekend into the city. Sixth grade, seventh grade. [2:01:00] Jesus Christ. And tell us about all the stories. Oh my God. Fucking Mondays. Oh my God. Bro, we grew up with some pieces of work. Not these kids growing up today when people didn't do anything with them. You know, I look at my daughter and her little friends. It's not going to be good for them. It's going to be weird. That's for sure. It's not going to be good for us. It's going to be weird, it's gonna be completely different world. I try to, but you know, you try the hardest and you talk to them and shit. And that's the best you could do, but the world they're gonna grow up in is completely different than our fucking world. Completely different, you know, and it's so weird that I had a shitty childhood, family-wise, but everything else was fucking aces with me, bro. I laughed my ass off, I had a great time. These kids, they don't, you know, one of the kids we took to the city for jingle bells told me I never came to New York City before. She had never seen a cab before. Wow. Never saw a cab. It's only an hour away. Hour away. 55 fucking minutes, you know. Different world. Jersey is a completely different world. People have this idea that New jerseys like real similar to New York like the Bronx or something like that. [2:02:07] New Jersey is very rural. Very rural. Well, I think I found out. Let's have young Jamie check it. Yeah. Jamie, where's the most horses in the United States? A questery in state. If that's New Jersey, that's not so. That's fucking crazy. Listen bro, Jersey has Newark, Bail, Amboy. Don't get me wrong, you'll get fucking kill again. Camden, Camden, Pansochen, you know, Jersey City's getting bad, Northburg, it's not all good. You know, they just had a couple murders and Hoboken. It's not New York City per se, but it has cities. Action's still fucking happened. Yeah, there's cities, but it's a lot bigger than people think it is. What's that? New Jersey. Bro, I'm in shock. Yeah. I'm in shock, how big it is. I never fucking knew that. People think it's real little. You drive through it real quick and that's next to you knowing you're in Philadelphia. No, that's one way like if you look at the entirety of the state and how much of it is actual rural you know what I do Jersey has the most horses per capita 10 [2:03:10] horses per 1000 people I tell you wow I don't if you thought I knew that I I think it's Kentucky you know you know what also they have what the highest population of black bears who new Jersey yeah Yeah, but that's up north dog And then don't fuck around up there. The barrels. Yeah, they're down south too. I Haven't heard any Rutgers might one of the students from Rutgers got killed by a bear my daughter said she saw a bear one day We were driving a little bad. Yeah, you know who knows oh there there Joey far rock away There's videos of them and far rock away like fighting on this street It's crazy these giant bears. They're so big and they're fighting over like garbage cans They're not gonna each other over they top it down into a fucking mailbox They're out into the street this guy sitting in his car filming these like [2:04:01] 400 pound bears going to war with each other in the middle of a like a crowded suburb cars are stopped Is you ever seen this? No, fine. I find that video the videos fucking bananas Because you're looking at these giant predators that are fighting each other over territory in the middle of people's cities and these people aren't freaking out They've just decided and this is like before they stopped the bear hunt. When the new governor got into place, one of the things he was running on was he's gonna stop bear hunting. And he got in and he did. He stopped bear hunting and they restarted it. Yeah, they restarted. After a couple years they're like, okay. Yeah, you're not... They got the population got out these two. Joe, I mean this is someone's fucking yard. Look at the size of these fuckers. And they're just duking it out in front of a mailbox while this guy's car is part. I mean this is nuts man. Fighting over a female. [2:05:01] Look at all the further pulling off of each other? I mean, that's in New Jersey. You know, that's not Montana. That's New Jersey. New Jersey is the highest numbers of Black Bear per capita. Are they bad? They're not good. So not good. Not good to have that many of them. It kills everything. They'll kill small dogs. They'll kill your deer population. They'll kill a lot of the things that you like. They're gonna cannibalize each other for sure. If they get to certain numbers, they already do that. The males already kill cubs. They're monsters. They're fucking monsters. They're not teddy bears. I mean, they're cool. It's nice to have, it's nice that they exist. I wouldn't wanna eradicate them, but you have to keep them in control. Now do you know that I'm closer to Philly than I am The Atlantic City. Yeah, I'm 44 minutes from Philly. Yeah, and I'm an hour five. No, no, no You should do a residency in Philly. No, that's the move. Yeah, that's the move. I love Philly Philly's awesome I go to basketball games. I go to baseball games there and Philly out of fucking great time [2:06:06] Yeah, you can just do a couple days a week in Philly. Don't you want it? Last time I went to Philly. I went with a bunch of kids and their parents, you know. And I look over and fill a dough for you. And I swear to God, again, there's no aid from me. I see two guys swapping spit in the chat. I didn't say a word. I go, I wonder how long this is gonna last. Bro, they don't play it, Felly. They say shit to you. What were they saying to these guys? Not good things. Get the fuck out of the seats, there's kids around here. You know, wow. Nasty motherfuckers, this one black dude was going off. Wow. Oh, you know, another time I saw, I went to a game, I don't know what I saw. And they just don't play it fairly. I had a base. I had some gold move to do that in a sports field. I felt he was a little fucking rough, bro. I don't have one time I did a show of Philly. I didn't even go on when I finished. I just jumped into the audience. There was [2:07:00] no sense of going in the back because they weren't going to have it. They were going to kick that door down. There was no sense of me going in the back. They weren't going to be, I just jumped onto the audience. They caught me and it was just do whatever you need to do. You guys are fucking great. Yeah, Philly's a fun city. It was always a good place to go through. Always a good place for pool too. Think about the things that come out of Philly. A lot of boxers, a lot of pool players. It was always good pool halls in Philly. They still have a lot of them. Yeah, Fusco still has a place. Jimmy Fusco, or was it Jimmy or Pete? About one of those guys who's a top level pool player, had a place inva, F-U-S-C-O's pool hall. I know I played there with a pretty sharp play there with Tommy. Bro, he took me to the cop I know from Newark, took me to a place one night to see where some Jackie Gleason used to do comedy there. [2:08:02] Really? Fuck yeah, it's still there. Some bar, it's like fucking, they renovated it. Here, Fusco's the spot. Yeah. Which Fusco owns that? Does it say? Jimmy Fusco died, okay, scroll up. It said he died, 2017. Yeah. But great, great fucking old school pool hall real pool hall. It's just how crazy that area how much you know it's like I finally watched the show because I read a book and then I said let me watch the show World War Empire. I don't know if you will watch that whatever I watch a little bit of It's good. Very interesting. Yeah. Because very interesting. It went. It took the history of Atlantic City and then the last two seasons, it touched on the hags. And the hags were like fucking huge. And that's where I went for my surgery one time when I was a kid. Margaret Hague. No, no, no, no. [2:09:01] That's where you gave birth to kids that's I went to Christ hospital Margaret Hague was a Hospital in Jersey City and they were all related so I just followed that and I just started reading all that Philadelphia Shit like this town by me called island Highland New Jersey. They just built a ferry to take you from island to New York City That's what fucking Vito Genevieve's lived. Hmm. I didn't know this shit like that. All those towns have a rich fucking history of just everything. Cool. You know gangsters fucking food. The fucking food down in Jersey now is fucking tremendous Joe. Yeah, it's different kind of food. That East Coast Italian food. That's different. But everybody has a different type of East Coast. Like if you go down El Nito, they got the nice chicken, they got the pasta, the steaks, and that's that place. I go to another place. I just go there for the fucking... I got Austria just for the... What do you like the beans with... with the [2:10:01] grass to lettuce? Not the other one. That's the one. Es us pass the rule. The other one, escrow and beans. Oh, okay. 12. This time's I work out and I just go straight there. Yeah. Water with lemon and a bowl of escrow soup with beans and they put little bits of fucking prosciutto in there and that hammers are, oh my God, yo. I don't even need the fucking sauce and spaghetti, no more. I'm onto a different. And my god, Joe. I don't even need the fucking sauce and spaghetti. No, I'm on toward different and My neighbor out of all those restaurants, bro. They're all great But my neighbor Jodie Puma probably out cooks all those motherfuckers. Yeah, Jodie Puma is the baddest motherfucker I know she don't cook much because she works in the city. I got to go over there and torture Say Jodie what the fuck I'm in the moveable and there's a sum off the chain, bro Off the chain, you know There'll be a lot of good places near white planes and then you went to that sandwich place He gave you a shout out the other day. Oh, yeah, Jean Ardelli. Yeah, that place is great That sandwich was fucking huge. I can't eat those no more Joe. You can eat it once [2:11:00] You do is you don't eat anything that day. I can't bro Wet muts. I love wet muts. Yeah. You got to give it a fucking problem. You can't eat that. There's a place that what gets a place I go to the same Austria when they bring the wet muts you just put black pepper on it. Mmm. Jesus Christ, John. A little bit of all the way. The invict went one time. Yeah. and we made all like oh my god The cheese tastes so good, but that should I used to eat like Pujudo Mozzarella with a fucking I can't do that no Too much of a sandwich man. Well if you what if you what have you done like if you when you tried to manipulate your diet I know you did weight Watches for a while, and you lost a bunch of weight. But then, have you ever tried different kinds of diets? Have you ever tried Keto or low-car? I would do the Keto, but I can't eat that much meat. And then I can, this morning I got three pieces of bacon I ate too. [2:12:03] What about eggs? D-dags?ags, like a motherfucker. Well, if you wanted to try something that would help you lose weight, just eliminate all the sugar and bread, just eliminate all that stuff. Just eat only things that are either like vegetables or meat, just only that. I've been working a lot on fasting. Yeah? It took me a while. Telling you to do. I could eat at seven and then not eat lunch till four. I'm down to two meals a day in a protein shake. That's what I'm down to right now. I don't eat. That lunch was huge. When your plate came, I was like, I hope that's not my fucking plate. I hope even though those ribs looked fucking killer. They're good. mend this. I can't I can't do it no more I could get a like an eight ounce ten ounce steak. Mm-hmm. Now that's the most meat I could eat at night You know today I had turkey and the brisket it was fucking delicious. I need avocado toast for breakfast Three eggs avocado toast and a fruit bowl [2:13:02] That's my breakfast though. That's good. That's a good start. That's a good way to get going. That's in my world. That's great. Yeah. Why come from? Yeah. Six eggs, white bread, a stick of butter and a pack of bacon and then after an hour after that go to McDonald's before 11. That's how I say that's a big fucking change my friend. It's a big change. That's a big change The big one is you can just cut the bullshit out instead of the avocado toast to go with something else Just cut that bread out. I know that'll help you I like avocado. Oh you have a cuddle without the bread good the avocado though My avocado's great for you, but it's just the bread is just never good Not good and that's what I said with now they're making these sandwiches, bro, and in Jersey, they're like this. It's a fucking animal. Wet morts, chicken cartilage, you know, something else. And you know, you smash it together and you can barely get your mouth right. And that fucking Simmelina bread, I'll stab pre-motherfuckers for that. That shit is good. [2:14:00] And that's the one thing, those Staten Island motherfuckers did not out my area because they brought some serious food into Jersey Yeah, I mean serious. There's a deli in Staten Island called Royal Crown Jorugan their chocolate bread When people look lady brings them up. Thank God. They're not my fucking chocolate bread chocolate Italian bread. What is that? They're not my fucking chocolate bread chocolate Italian bread. What is that? What I just say it's Italian bread with little pieces of chocolate and then all through the bread and then they have Prozudo bread and they have Mozzarella bread and they have wow Dog my neighbor when I was in the basement getting high by myself and I'm like man, I could eat something and I Something made me go outside and I saw a loaf of bread I'm like oh what the fuck is this? I brought in Sam Joey a chocolate bread from Staten Island my mother brought it for you I brought it in the house I took a bite of that motherfucker holy shit she goes did you like it? I go that I fucking like it it was fucking tremendous [2:15:02] chocolate bread push you know bread oh my, look at this shit, yo. Oh, it's good. And listen, I do it like one piece. But you're supposed to get that, cut it, and then put it in the oven, then put to, uh, yeah, a nice piece of chocolate. Yeah, that's me. Look at that motherfucker. At Italian bread, we're chocolate in it. So you wanna tell me how how it is to be me nervous just hearing that. You want to tell me how hard it is to be me and you're supposed to cut it and put butter on it. I just cut a piece and eat it and give the rest of my daughter and my wife. I got to get out of here. I would eat that whole motherfucker for sure. Dog. Yeah. Dog. When you walk into Royal Crown, they have a section just from what the dollar. What they could do with more to dollar, that's when you know you have a problem. Then they just moved down the line. If you want capital call or everything is to kill you, but it's fucking delicious. But it's fucking delicious. Yeah, they don't have any of that out here. [2:16:02] Like that kind of Italian deli yet not enough Italian. Yeah, you know, if those guys from G and R deli opened up of that out here. Like that kind of Italian deli. Yeah, not enough Italian. Yeah. You know, if those guys from G&R deli opened up a shop out here, they'd fucking kill it. They made those same sandwiches out here. And they import a lot of their shit from Italy anyway. But look at rails just open to Vegas. What is that? Rails just opened to Vegas. Rails, like the famous restaurant from New York Railways. Okay. Are they old? Yes. Yeah. They have one in LA. Yeah. You could do it in Vegas for sure. But they opened up in Vegas, you know. People are spreading out. So they did? They just opened up a Peter Lugers in Vegas. Yes. That's what it was. I'm sorry. It was Peter Lugers. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, okay, that's a big deal. That place is the shit. If I'm ever in Brooklyn, I mean, that Peter Luger's always go. That place, Rulers. Last time I went with Ari, I called a four o'clock fucking dinner reservation. I'm gonna do it. Let's do it. That place is great. They got a bad review in like the New York Times, so like that, and me and Ari had just gone there. And there and we're like, what the fuck are they talking about? It was fantastic. It was so good. The [2:17:08] state comes over. It's crackling. The butter's dripping all over it. He take a slice of it. You look it's perfect. It's a perfect steak and you get in the smell from the plate. The plates coming out of the oven where they finish it and you're like, ah don't touch the plate. It's hot. and you'll say, ah don't touch the play, it's hot, okay? It's fucking amazing. Amazing, that plays the rules. It's easy to get the video on them. I'm gonna see a video on them. There's a video, like a documentary on how they pick their cattle and how they, there's like a a documentary on steak and the Peter Luger part is like a big part of it. Cause these people are trying to figure out why the fuck are these stakes so good? Like people from other countries were coming to study how Peter Lugers making their stakes. Yeah, that fucking place is tremendous. So they take you through the entire step, like how much they age it, what they do, and they go to how they treat it. [2:18:01] So they get it down to the size and they trim it. I mean, they've been doing this shit for a hundred years. Peter Lugers is from the 1800s. I think like when did that place open? Who showed us that credit card from Peter Luger? I don't know. Somebody we hung out there dead. See, look, they just put salt on it. That's it. And they get it in one of those broilers. So they have those broilers with a flame as above the stake. You know, so it's not like direct heat on the stake where the fat is dripping down. You get flare ups. No, the flame is above the stake. And then they flip it. And then they slice it up and then they put it on a plate. And then once they slice it up and put it on a plate, then they put it in the oven. And they finish it in the oven and Oh my goodness, dude See they do it like that they put it on a plate finished dirt And when they pull that bitch out it's just oh So that's how right now setting it up and then they bring it out to these people look at that [2:19:04] They put the drippings on there come on son come on Sensational Should we get out of here? You done? No, no, I was just looking at my daughter sent me a picture. I fucking sledden Is it snowing Jersey right now fuck six in the come on and when I woke up this one I already had a notice that they closed school school was supposed to be I have died but it started snowing at six in the fucking morning and they went it's still snowing bro I love snow days when I was a kid they were the best that's when you hustle that's when we made money you made money But you also you get to stay home you look out the window you're like fuck yeah No school doing that term paper tonight. Yeah, you're the fuck away from me because they wouldn't now they tell you that They do it on line now you have to do your homework online these kids they take the day before there's no action With us we had a wait till like 11 30 then you got a call from somebody. Hey my dad just yeah, they're gonna can't for school So yeah, that term paper those are the best we get a call from people, you know dude schools, school's canceled. Fuck, yes! How do you know? [2:20:06] Because my dad just didn't fucking die. You gotta take people's word for it. There was times when we thought for school was canceled it wasn't, like, are you day fucking serious? And then you feel like for sure they're gonna cancel. Look at the snow, they're gonna cancel. And the snow stops, and the school's still on like your mother. Yeah, but that was a lot of days when we grew up where it snowed but they didn't give a fuck. There you go. It had to be bad. It had to be bad. Now they just get the thread of snow. Yeah. It's clay can't hold it. You wake up the next day and there's an engine. You're like, what the fuck are these people doing? Yeah. Bro, that joint from the microphone. So why here because I can't hear you oh Sorry No, so that's the problem that you do you ever rolled blunts or do you only roll joints? You know I got a pneumonia last summer did you yeah, that's why I have a hard time reading now How'd you get a pneumonia? [2:21:00] The more I had no fucking idea pneumonia rather pneumonia other pneumonia. I had Joe everything was going great. Yeah What happened something oh I was getting shortness of breath Fuck so I went to the doctor first. They told me I had a kidney stone Then I went and got a scan for the kidney stone. There was no kidney stone But they saw something else and they made me going for a lung x-ray And at the lung x-ray is where they fucking, well like you got a fucking pneumonia. I didn't know it looked like three weeks to find that. Brought, I couldn't walk to my mailbox show. I'd walked to my mailbox and I'd be huffing and fucking puffing. How'd you get rid of it? The blunts. No, the blunts were given it to you. How many blunts were you smoking? Cool, but that's not. I'm not a cigar guy. I'm the only Cuban. I'm looking at you fucking cigar collection before. And I'm like, I'm the only fucking Cuban that has no, I love a cigar. I like Ron White gave me these little ones. [2:22:00] These are little cigars cigar so if you don't want to have a whole cigar, you just want a little puff It's a little money Christos And those are really good. Yeah, those are good. Oh, yeah, it's good. It's good tobacco But it's so that you don't have to finish the cigar. You just want a little puffs Bucket cigars are too big they get me dizzy So it's just a little puff. I don't know something was just bothering me and I What else can I be doing? Yeah, that's not good for you. You know, I would love for you to get healthier. And I know at one point in time, like I said, you'd lost a lot of weight. You lost, what did you lose? I mean, you must have lost close to 80 pounds. Would you lose at one point in time? I started it for something. But there's one time when the Weight Watchers time where it was pretty quickly It was over like a period of 10 months. Yeah, everybody was like look how good Joey looks. Yeah, and dog I still look good Mother fuck for 60 I still look fucking good I should I should look like how the odd one right now you've had a rough 60 [2:23:01] I mean you have a 60 you put some fucking miles on your wheels. It 60, you know, yeah, I didn't know what my life was about but I read that fucking, when I wrote that book and then I read it and I was like, I gotta take a breathaly. Yeah, you've had an extraordinary life, my friend. And that's why when I moved to Jersey, I said, you know what, man, it's time for me just to chill for a while. I wanted to get out of the train of thought I had a comedy, that old mentality I had. I wanted to give that a breather. I couldn't get away from it. I couldn't get away from it. So for once I wanted to start fresh man. I looked at it, what I needed to do. I know everybody kept asking me, do you quit comedy? I, no. No, I'm just taking a fucking breather. It's not the wrong way to take it a breather. Just taking a fucking extended breather. I wanna know what the fuck happened the last 40 years. Is that okay? I started this journey in 1983. And all of a sudden, 2020, I'm at the store with a bunch of fucking killers. I wasn't pre-programmed for this. I was pre-programmed to be in jail by now. [2:24:01] What am I doing at the store with a bunch of fucking killers doing comedy and they're talking to me and we're laughing It's not like I didn't earn it. It's not like my mother owned the fucking joint and she just gave me a spot there We earned those things, you know what the fuck happened. I was a guy that was in prison. They told me that it's not gonna work out for you And here we are today. So I had to go process this shit You know I had to go process a lot of fucking things. You know, when I was a kid and my mother died, I had a lie to myself, Joe. It's right for me. Right for you, Joe. Right for you thing. No, look, right for you. Oh shit. Sorry, I got no glasses. You know, when I was a kid, I had a lie to myself. Yeah. When my the only way I could deal with it. She's just going away for a couple of years. I'll bump into her in a couple of years. I'll bump into her in a couple of years. When I went back to Jersey, she'd talk and hit me. Like I lied to myself all those fucking years. Yeah, it's just a coping mechanism, right? It was a coping mechanism I used just to to soothe my fucking soul. Yeah. I got back to Jersey, I went up to a cemetery, and then I go, what the fuck is this? [2:25:07] She never came back. And I was like pissed about, like retarded, like she never came back. And I'm like, Joey, what the fuck did you do? You buried yourself in that shit that she was gonna bump into one day. I'm burying a line at him. Well, some shit, you know. Yeah. So that was hard. You know, a lot of things. It's good to take a break off comedy just to really try to figure out what your actual perspective really is. Listen, bro, I was an environment that I don't thrive in. I was an environment with a lot of fake motherfuckus. I was in an environment where I did time, I grew up around people who were very dangerous. The people I was around in LA were more dangerous because I knew where I stand with these other people. With these people in LA, these agents, you don't know where you stand. You have no fucking idea. Well, you kind of know what they are. You know what they are. You know, it's like that's the old Mike Tyson expression. [2:26:01] It's okay to have a snake in the room as long as you keep the lights on. You know what they are. You know, you just have to know who you are. And I think you were coming from this place where you almost felt like you didn't belong. You know, and I remember when I first met you. That was Joey criminal days. It was fun, man. Cause I remember I met you and I was like, oh finally, there's someone like people that I used to know. Like you were like the first guy that I ran into, like, oh, this is like Joey from the pool hall. This is like Joey from the boxing gym. This is like you were like the people that I knew from the East Coast, the wild people that were fun, you know? And, and you know, people didn't like you. People were scared of you. I was like, that guy's great. I mean, it's kind of funny over the years because I had arguments with agents about you. We were like, he doesn't have any talent. I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind. I'm like, you're out of your mind. I go, I know what comedy is and he makes me laugh harder than anybody I've ever seen. So he's wild and crazy. Yeah, that's what you get. That's the kind of person that does that kind of comedy stupid. You don't even know what you sell. You're out here selling comedy. You don't even know how it's [2:27:09] created. It's created by wild people. Whether it's wild, intellectually, wild, physically, just a different group of people that are going to create something that's going to make you laugh that hard. You know, man, it was fucking crazy. Those first couple couple of years there and how people will look at me I remember one day an agent stole a check from me and I said I'm gonna come down and get it when I got there The door was shut and he stuck he stuck the check on the fucking wall and said don't come in here And then ten years later he signed me again. I bumped into him in a vet place when we were talking because I come back That's funny. I had a hard time there. Well you were raw man. You were raw dude Gotta be you reminded me a lot of my friend Johnny You know because Johnny was like you who was like a brilliant guy that struggled with substances Brilliant guy Johnny was like one of the smartest people I'd ever met It was a pool hustler and so I I didn know anybody like it's such a it's just a dangerous dude [2:28:06] It's just always doing wild shit. I didn't know anybody like that over here till I met you Then I met you I was like all right Because in comedy you we were getting a lot of people that were essentially auditioning for sitcoms They just what they wanted to do is figure out a way to Transfer what they're doing on stage into a lucrative sitcom. Everybody wanted that. That was the golden ring. Everybody wanted the sitcom. Everybody wanted a development deal. So a lot of guys really only had 10, 15 minutes. That 15 minutes was just them setting up their life for a sitcom. It was almost like they told you where they were from. I was born in Brooklyn, New York, and this and that, and they're basically like doing an audition for a sitcom on stage. We were doing that. We were doing a different thing. We were doing a different thing. We were doing what our idols were doing. We were doing what Prior did. We were doing what Kennison did. said you have to present the set on stage that the [2:29:10] Agents could see a network TV show. What are you talking about? I'm gonna tell you something else too When I get this residency when I start kicking with gas with comedy again Not podcasting no more. How come never again? I'm ending this career as a stand-up, but but you can do both. I don't want to do both. You don't like it I want to end this career as a fucking up. But you can do both. I don't wanna do both. You don't like it. I wanna end this career as a fucking stand up. But you are a stand up. No. No. All this other shit. No pockets. And all this shit. No ads. Let's do the last two years. Yeah. Fucking stand up motherfuckers. That's why I wanna do a residency that's why because I'm ready just to do stand up. My phone ain't ringing for acting. Listen, you just come here and do part time. My phone. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, always. And if you want to stay here and do a residency here, you could do that too. Absolutely. I was going to talk to you about it, maybe come one hundred percent. Do that little boy room, that room is fucking tremendous it's magic Jim Florentine It's magic that rooms magic. It's magic [2:30:09] It's a magic little room and that room tells you what's real and what's what sucks like the OR Yeah, just like the OR like the OR is like a little bit of the OR and a little bit of the belly room Like it's like the belly room had sex with the OR and it created the little boy and then the main room Had sex with the OR and created the big boy or fat man The big room is like a combination of the main room and the OR is just intimate enough but also big enough and Big last main room set 250 and 110 That's it that's it. That's why it's so good dude. See now it's a little park. A little greedy motherfucker would have made that room 400 seats. Yeah. Some other club chains and shit. Oh, 400 seats. We got a self ticket. The whole setup from the very beginning of this club was never to make money. It was always, if I can break even I'm happy. I want to make the best environment for [2:31:05] developing stand-up comedy, for both professionals and for amateurs, and the best place for people to see it, where they can see like world-class people coming in every weekend, like this weekend is Joe DeRosa. He's there tonight and tomorrow. We've had Louis CK is the one that helped me design the place. Dave Chappelle came by the first week. We have Shane Gillis there all the time. Ron White's there all the time. Brian Simpson's there all the time. It's just killer after killer after killer. 9 kilatones there every Monday night. I mean, we got it cooking exactly at the right temperature. It's perfect. The environment is super positive. Everybody's doing really well. All the door people are doing really well. Everybody's killing it. Now, who's in the main room tonight? Tonight's Joe DeRosa. And who's in the little room? That's a good question. But you could do a set. 100%. They already said, if you want to do a set. Come on down. Yeah. This is like a bunch of people stop by. do sets people are dropping in all the time like y'all as pop this came up last night [2:32:05] Paulie sure was there on Tuesday night Paulie's killing it Paulie's killing it Paulie's loose and silly and having fun now He came and he was on the stage in the little boy and he came off stage and I grabbed him I go do that It's as funny as I've seen you in a decade. I go that was so good And he was like you see me at the store and I'm tense there. He goes it's just like because it was such a part of my childhood and you know they kind of pushed him out. Did you see this little thing? Yeah. Oh he's playing Richard Simmons right? Yeah so they announced that he's gonna be in a full movie but they also put out the same time this little short which is interesting. It's only a minute long. Paul he's a different dude now. It's cool to see he's he's a sweet guy. He's funny around his sweet guy. I check him with him [2:33:02] I Came from a meme online that's hilarious That's it for this wow, so it's gonna be a real movie yeah, he does look like him. He looks a lot like him. Yeah, he does look like him. And Paul can fucking act. Paul can act. I know he's done like the silly movies, like in Sino Manage Ship, but you give him an opportunity to do something like that. A lot of comics can act. Bro, he's been around this game. Forever. 50 fucking years forever. He guys at all covered. Yeah, he's so I'm coming. He's seen what happened to him. It's also he's evolved as a person. He's like a fun person to be around now. He's very cool, very cool. And he's really comfortable at the club. He's been at the club at Tana Tops. He did a weekend there recently and he was just there, two days at Wednesday. He's doing the little room in the big room. He's having a good time man. He's like loose now. [2:34:07] Like he did Killtonia Monday night. He sang a song. He sang bad to the boat. It's fun. Were you there? Yeah, I was there. I brought a mat, Lichtenberg. Okay. Down to Killtonia. So I could check it out. Went to dinner and then I took him to the club Monday night special there. That's a special show man. Harley Williams was on fire. Oh my God, Harley was there last weekend and he was there for Killtoni on Monday. It's on fire. He was on fire. It's amazing. It's just the vibe of the club. It's so fun. I'm really proud of Tony and Red Band for what they did. Dude, they sold out Madison Square Garden two nights in a row. They sold out the HEB center here, two nights in a row. They sold out big arenas, they're gonna sell out in Los Angeles. They sold out a 7,000 seat theater in an hour. It's crazy. It's crazy. They're killing it. [2:35:01] They're killing it. And that show is different every night. Every night you can go to two shows in a row You're not gonna see the same show. It's a totally different show So like you know, they can come into a town and do three four nights easy easy Easy that's really crazy the fucking garden. Yeah the garden It's amazing two nights in a fucking row. I still remember Tony telling me this 10 years ago eight years ago That is what he wanted to do So who knows the handbrake he is the best at hosting that kind of show nobody better He's the fucking best. He's the best ever at it. He's so quick and he's such a mean little fuck He's a mean little fuck. He's a mean little fuck, but he's also super supportive if you're good You know and it's a mean little fuck he's a mean little fuck but he's also super supportive if you're good you know and it's a great platform for standup because there's no woke bullshit there's no ideology there's no fucking playing and pandering you got one minute you got one minute and the currency is [2:36:01] funny what can you can you be funny in a minute it doesn't matter if you're white or you're black or you're trans or you're gay or you're straight or you're no one gives a fuck. Are you funny? You have one minute and they take everybody. Anybody out of that fucking hat. You can't bribe your way into that hat. People have tried. I've seen it. I've seen people say, listen, could you get my banker once to come? Tony's like, nope, nope. I don't care who has asked me. Donald Trump could ask him, like nope, nope. That fuck, that's a holy bucket. That bucket is 100% randos. Dig in there. Bob Wilson. And Bob Wilson comes out and he had no idea he's coming out and like, ooh, and you see those people, they do one minute, and the band's there and the audience is there, and like some of them, it's their first time ever doing stand up. Did you do a minute? No. Could I? Yeah, I could, I have never. We did three to get into the store. Yeah. I had to do three, then 10, then she made me. [2:37:00] Yeah. Yeah, but it was three how long did you did take for you to get in? dog I broke the record yeah How long I got the LA January 29th Of 1997 and I was a regular February 19th 1997 wow That's pretty quick That's quick I'd have to lick nobody's balls and nothing Stanhope Mate who nothing. Stanhope. I'm a tell you who referred me. Stanhope. I mean, see you. And somebody else, I forget who it was. And Scott called me and he goes, I've heard good things about you. I'm going to showcase you, but it's going to be in about six months. And I, knowing me and my criminal, I go, six months. I don't even know if I'm making this six months. And he goes, okay, you got a showcase will let you know when two weeks later, he called me. And he goes, I got a three minute spot that opened up. You want to come down tonight? Yeah, came down and patrified the midsy. She watched you first set. [2:38:01] First set, watch me. Came off. Sugar hand. Thank you for the opportunity. I thought I was gonna pass out Wow, I thought it was gonna pass out Because in my mind it was this what was going back to being a criminal Well, what she liked about guys like you though is that you were raw. Yeah, she liked raw people with talent That was her favorite thing. She didn't like people and they had already made it She didn't like so insightful this place enough for you. So I felt was too big already She's like math the place not for you. She's a wild lady man in that regard And that's what I do whenever I miss her I think about like Corp. Oh Whenever I think of Missy I caught Paul. I'm thinking about you mom's brother. It's fun being in the bar downstairs This named after named after his mom. So we're in mitzies and there's a photo of mitzies just like that Like that painting that we have in the wall in here. She saved my life brother She saved lives. I had no chance of being an adult No chance ever doing anything in my life [2:39:00] No chance until I walk into that fucking county club. Yeah, and she made me a regal And when I went back the next week and said I had 10 minutes and She was like your regular calling Monday for spots dog. I didn't know what to do Yeah, but I knew that if I kept my nose clean But I knew I only have like a year or two before something happens. I hit somebody with a chair You know, I steal something you know, that was my ammo. Yeah. But her putting me in there made me go, okay, you know, and it was me, Holtzman, you, you know, we had some fucking savages there in the beginning, but if you really think about my life, I got all the great things out of my life in the comedy store, everything, my daughter, everything, our friendship, everything. What didn't I get from the comedy store? We had a family there. I got a life, man. Yeah, it was a very special place for all of us. You know, I look at the pictures at night because they post them on Facebook of the club, the mothership from the night before, and they show the... Not when they show you fucking momoes on stage, [2:40:02] but when they show the staff working there. When I see that young staff, I remember the great times we had on New Year's Eve and Christmas and it was a family. Gave a fuck about a Christmas tree when you're regular at the store. You know what I'm saying? Who wasn't at the store? And now they close on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. But I still remember having a spot on Christmas day and going people like what type of animal are you fuck it? Comedy store we voted spots. I did them. I always did. I always did. One Thanksgiving family. I always did spots. I'm sure I ate a bag of mushrooms once on Thanksgiving and went up there and the fucking purple lights had me. Yeah, I don't know how many sets I did in the original room, but now looking at it for if it wasn't for Minty, sure, because I would have left in six months. And my job was, my goal at that time, it was if I fail in LA, I'm driving back, I'm gonna make a pit stop, I'm gonna stab a few people and call the rattle, and then I'm going back to New York to hide. That was my plan. That was my plan if failure would have came in LA and I would have got thrown out of that. [2:41:05] Well, I remember when you cracked the code and you're a guy that I've always said, you were the funniest guy in the parking lot and there was something that was missing in translation between you being the funny guy in the parking lot and you being the guy on stage. And you just figured it out one day. It's like one day you figured it out. It was very interesting. Becoming yourself. Yeah, because you were like trying to do jokes before. You were like trying to do stand up the way, stand up to jokes and something happened. I think it was like a certain level of I don't give a fuck anymore. Like where too many agents had lied to you, too many auditions had fell through, too many this, too many that. And you're like, what am I trying to make these people happy for? And you just were yourself on stage. Like you'd almost like given up hope of the bullshit. Yeah. Golden ring. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I never understood writing shit that had nothing to do with you. [2:42:00] Right. You got a right shit that's close to your fucking heart and your balls, right? Yeah, you want to He want I always wanted to be fucking somebody else sometimes right? I wish I wasn't dirty I wish I was a better joke writer. I wish so many things but what I was doing a lot of those guys that are straight Traditional stand-up which they were doing that guy that we keep forgetting with the redlocks AJ Jamal did Jamal. AJ Jamal. That was it. Just pop him up. Let's see where he's at. Yeah. That dude was fun. AJ Jamal. And I remember that dude he used to bother you because he was so there he is. He used to bother you that he was so funny, clean. He's thought wow, he's like 1,000, 400 followers. That's crazy. I got 1,400 followers. That's crazy. What was his last post? Funny fucking dude though. And great. No, no, no, no. I mean his last post on Instagram. And great fucking guy. That's not really his? I don't know. Yeah, that's him. It's over two years ago. Oh wow. [2:43:01] Over two years ago. Great guy. Great guy. Not that I didn't like him. No, no, no, no. You were just, it bothered you that he was so clean that you weren't cleaning him, he made yourself conscious. I remember you told me about that. I hated going on after that guy. He would bury me. He would kill and he would kill me. He would kill me and he would kill me. He would kill me and he would kill me. I remember the rublin' in my face afterwards. Tom was brutal to me in those days. Yeah, but he was just being dumb. Yeah, no, he was being a fucking great guy. You know, no, but I didn't like that. I just thought that how the fuck is somebody this clean and technical. Right, so fucking good. Very technical. He was like, if it was Jiu-Jitsu, you got a hold on to the elbow. He would be right there with that elbow. Not an inch up, not an inch down. Yep. He just knew his boundaries and that's what I always wanted to be. Yeah. But I became after a while. It was what I became in that original room. Yeah. You became yourself. That's what happened. I remember the day, Joey. I remember like one night where you on stage murdering and I was in the back [2:44:02] with everybody over by the stairs. And murder and and I was in the back with everybody over by the stairs and then someone goes Jojoe is murder and we went into the back and you were on stage you were just going out some cocaine story you were going off and people were dying no you didn't believe what you were saying it was so funny though I'm in one that I was on a roll you were back there with a bunch of people and I said that I used to date a girl and a pussy look like any months is Teddy bear wolfie Like when that shit started coming out of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was when I yes like I was so fucking fed up with the The fucking just a bullshit Yeah, and number one on stage you got to be yourself We were talking about him earlier. He was never really a traditional standup. He did all this crazy stuff in his act and that's poor mooney. Yes. You know where Bill Hicks. I love Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks had that standup he but he also threw something in there. Yeah. [2:45:01] You know it just wasn't lying to him. It was so so commentary. Yeah, it wasn't set up a bunch. So I wanted to be somewhere in between that. That's where I ended up at. I didn't really know I'm not a good writer, but I have energy. Energy and enthusiasm will kick your fucking ass. Also, you have good points. You know what I call bullshit on something. Yeah, and that's what people enjoy. You're calling bullshit on something and you got a lot of energy. So the energy and the enthusiasm, that fucking, that wins, bro. Yeah. You know, I always told you, I don't like going out there and going out with the towel and going like, hi, how are you guys doing? I like to come out and hit them hard. Yeah. Just so they know and you said it best I like bringing Joe with me because he goes out there and he fucking cleans the room of all the bad spirits and that's how you do it with your fingers that day you go he just cleans the rooms out he goes up there and he takes it to the hoop the first five minutes if the works or it doesn't work either works or it doesn't all boundaries get destroyed [2:46:02] destroyed the first five minutes because why fuck around with you? No Nicki Mackie. Let's go. Let me Clark. Undangered feel special. He came out throwing heat. Don't come out, dilly dally in my fucking world. Yeah. Come out and fucking. Let's go. You got 10 minutes. I love to slot in the main room. Yeah. It's in reality. It's just you on top of a guy and you're, you're, uh, who's fighting them on that Strickland? Yeah. He's like, when he went off on fucking out of the sign, you know, that's what it's like. Yeah. You're just fucking kidding them with jokes and they can't take it. And then you step back and you go, oh my god, look what's the greatest. That's better than any dolly you can make. Yeah That's about any ball lick you can make that's about anything. It's better than everything is to see him bodies laid down Yeah You got to stop You got to stop and I learned how to stop and let them breathe and then I [2:47:02] Paste my material like that. I want to paste my material where it's stop and go Yeah, take them take them take them give them a break Give them a break and then bring them back home bring them back up again. I'm gonna leave there rollercoaster fucking You know that's that's the brother. Yes. All right next time you're here There'll be an announcement that announcement will be a residency Absolutely filly. We're gonna make it out. No, be a residency absolutely we're gonna make it happen no no a residency at the comedy mothership we'll do that 100% that's what I really want I think I need a constant week around you guys like okay but you don't open Monday we're open every day of the week but Monday's no stand up open mic night really yeah you can go out a little room 100% you can go up I love you every night thank you for taking me with the stem some man. I'm better and shit already always great to see you and tomorrow night We're all doing by the if by time this is out. We're doing fight companion Now it's it right now Joey Diaz is on the next fight companion So it'll be Joey Diaz Eddie Bravo bread and chop and me let's fucking go [2:48:02] Let's fucking go you're ready to rat it out because somebody already hit me this week I didn't rat it out they might have shot might have rat it out somebody else might have put it up but that's us tomorrow night I love you love you