#2074 - Shane Gillis

Hey... What's happening? How fun are these workouts? Changes your day, right? Yeah, it makes the day better. I don't know. I literally don't know how you do this What do you mean? You're like, oh, it's gonna you can feel so good dude. I get to the club I'm literally fall asleep on the sore You guys start taking vitamins. I'll take some vitamins. Do you yeah? Yeah, be taken take We guys started taking vitamins. I'd take some vitamins. Do you? Yeah, take vitamin B. Yeah, okay. D, okay. Paul's. C, okay. Take some zinc. Oh, okay. That's it. What are you getting like a multivitamin? Yeah, whatever the fucking CVS things is. Oh, okay. There's yellow. You know what I'm talking about? Let's probably be on a shelf since the 70s. Fuck it. Yeah. I don't think they're doing anything. I heard zinc makes you come harder. I haven't noticed a big result. But zinc is difficult to get into your bloodstream. You need an ionophore. If you're gonna take zinc, you need something like a reciting ionophore. Yeah, ionophore is super important. What's that? Something that allows, I don't want to fuck this up, but I think it allows ions to get into your bloodstream easier. It just allows things like zinc to get into your cells easier. I'm not, yeah, I'm not close to worrying about shit like that. I'm working on like bread. Bread out of bread. I'll worry about ionophores in a couple years. Bread's tough. Boy, when you're sitting down to a restaurant, they bring out the bread with the butter. Oh, yeah, it smells good It's hard. I mean this weekend I ate at Denny's and waffle house. Oh Both were pretty good but I took o'clock in the morning. I'll fuck them a waffle with some sausages. It's hard to beat Yeah, you know I used to love an LA Roscoe's chicken and waffles. Oh Damn it's the best with collard greens. Oh, I don't know about you like collard greens? Fucking love them. Yeah. I guess I have no idea. It's the combination of flavors. The chicken, the waffles, the syrup with the butter, the syrup in the butter. Too much syrup and too much butter. Just let's fucking go. [2:01] Yeah, let's go. Go away. And you're like, Mom, mom. As you're eating, you're like, Mom, mom. God, he used to love Roscos. Yeah, I just ate a waffle. Like I said, this two days ago I was eating a waffle. Waffles are good. Pretty wonderful. Waffles are good. Waffles with butter and syrup are pretty fucking good. Sucks at that. The crazy way to start the day. I did find some protein waffles. What are they called? Is it Viking waffles? See if you find that. I think there's a company called Viking waffles. They made like protein waffles that are like low carb and then I would use butter and then sugar-free syrup. It's pretty fucking close. That's it, Viking waffles. 21 grams of protein, three grams of sugar, five grams of carbs. 200 calories. Look at that. And they're good. They fucking taste like a real waffle. People love Vikings. Who doesn't love Vikings? Fucking Irish people? The people that were at the store for 500 years. [3:01] They fucked everybody up forever. Yeah. The reason why the people in Iceland are so good at strong land competitions. You know those guys like the mountain from game with thrones, where are you at? The freaks. Those jeans come from. Yeah, they need an eruption up there. We need to get rid of these guys. A little bit of a volcano. We can't have these guys. This is my Irish ancestry coming through. We gotta get rid of these fuckers. Yeah. Yeah, they fucked the world up for so long. That show Vikings, you ever watched that show? No, I heard it's great. Fucking great. I was afraid it was gonna be like, because they did like women. Oh, they killed everybody. All right, good. No, no, no, no. I mean like the badass kick ass woman characters, do they have that? They have a couple. That usually takes me out of a... No, they're realistic. Okay. I mean, they're not like fucking up all the dudes around the world. Yeah. Ah, the old Conor McGregor woman. But then Zee! I don't love it. They announced a sequel. Is the girl in the... Oh, it's Netflix. And the armor? The armor takes me out of it. It looks... It's a little too game-at-throne, you know show what a real Viking looked like what did they really look like it looked like shit, dude [4:09] Five six they were not these giant well how to focus the mountain come from where's he come from then? They They looked like fucking dickhead They look like hobbits dude. What is that? I mean that's not them That's not that's a renfair. There's that fucking Those are cosplaying those people are cosplay. Oh, oh geez. Don't do that. Hold zoom in on That's not fair to the little fellow That's what this is this is they've been glorified because they were do we have an accurate depiction of what they are so look been glorified because they were. Do we have an accurate depiction of what they are? I don't think there was a look. I mean, nobody took a picture. What real Vikings wore? Click on that. What? What real Vikings wore? See it? Oh, yeah, here we are. Yeah. So click on that. We'll see. According to archaeologists, I said love archaeologists. [5:01] Populaculture. it's my grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand It says Variety, oh varieties and form material and styles used to mark both gender rank and local identity Says Marianne Veddoller an archeologist University of Oslo's Museum of Cultural History Maintains who have studied Viking textiles TV shows and films could make use of this to tell better stories As for the male warrior caricature, historians doubt they actually work cartoonish horned helmets in battle. Oh, come on. I know it. It's disappointing. Those have peered in art from this era. In fact, only one preserved Viking helmet has materialized in Scandinavia, and it was horn-free. Only one? They only found one Viking helmet. [6:04] Archaeologists found portions of Viking helmets in Denmark, but their popularity remains unknown similarly. We know of one intact suit of chainmail, which appeared with the sole surviving helmet. One fucking suit of chainmail and one helmet. This was likely worn exclusively by elites and professional warriors despite its common appearance in mainstream depictions. They rock to reverse mullet. Hmm. What's a reverse mullet? Long up front. Party up front. What does that mean? What's a reverse mullet? How's that look? Yes. What is a reverse mullet? So reverse mullet means long on top and short in the back. Bad explanation here. Okay, so a fade. There you go. Yeah, as possibly tied to not in the back of the head, then not may have been decorated with colored tape which sprayed into the hair. [7:00] The woman also wore a bought... She has a lot of guessing. Yeah. If you have one helmet and one piece of chain mail. Yeah, that's all guessing. We're doing a lot of guessing. Then that wild though, then we got one helmet. That's it, that's a good look. All right, they got it in the show, nice. Yeah. But yeah, they gave them like cool shit. Oh, okay. That is pretty cool. Fiking ha Viking hairstyles. Did they really tattoo their faces up? I. Obviously there's no way to tell. But how do they guess? They just keep making them so cool. Yeah they make them really cool. And they're a bunch of murderers and you like them. Yeah I don't cheer for them. No? No I don't like the Vikings. Because of your culture. Because of my culture. Now no, I think they're overrated. Really? Yeah. Overrated. Everything about him's rumors. They're like, oh, they discovered America first. I think they did. You gotta give Columbus his fucking deal. Columbus gets no. No, nobody hates Columbus. He's a cocksucker. Bro, did you ever read that one? [8:00] Bro, you fucking did it. He didn't even let the bomb us. That's crazy. He did that. You fucking did it didn't even let it in the bomb us That's crazy he did that did you did you ever hear that one? There's one priest that traveled with Columbus the wrote those horrific stories and what they did to the Native Americans fucking snitch You know how the go wild you cross the ocean you're going wild. Yeah, they shot people's arms off. They didn't give me that gold. They dashed baby's heads on the rocks. They did some horrific shit. Yeah, some horrific shit. But people were awful back then. Yeah, just think about how awful people were in the movies in 1950, just smack women around. Yeah, I was just watching that Sean Connery interview, yes, yeah. It's pretty in 1950 just smack women around. Yeah, I was just watching that Sean Connery interview yesterday. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Every now and then again. Yeah. When you've shed it, he's like, she has to get the last word. You have to get the last word and even have to let them get the last word. Dashen or Denof. It's actually pretty good. I can't do it. [9:00] The Connery. I can I have a fucking Zen in my mouth which makes it harder to fuck you up harder to do that Action, there is a little you just in Scotland. I can kind of do it. Yeah, I was in Scotland and I was at this place and There's a there's a fucking stone circle that's older than Stonehenge. Yeah, like who made this? Hmm? I don't know you just go stand on it. You can touch it. They don't even protect it. It's just laying out there in front of this dude's house. It's literally in front of this dude's house. That's great. It's like 50 feet in front. You can throw a rock. How old is it? 5,000 plus years old? Stone No idea who made it they think druids. Hmm maybe druids That was big hot that's fucking beautiful scones pretty. Oh my god. There's no one there It's like I kind of discovered it Cut off their arms to this two million people the whole country really yeah the whole country is as big as Austin [010:00] Wow, yeah, it's fucking gorgeous God damn it's pretty yeah low clouds and The the hill not really mountains. They're kind of like you know a couple thousand feet. Yeah, but God It's fucking gorgeous God and they have these stags everywhere. He's like big majestic stags really yeah I got a picture one should I picture you see this? I'll send it to jammy. See if they look at it I got a picture one. I'll show you a picture. You see this. I'll get to end it to Jamie. So you think I look at it. Mm-hmm. Have you heard that that same the mountain range of like the Appalachians is this It was connected to Europe. That's pretty cool. What's that Jamie? The Appalachians the same mountain ranges the same mountains over there Wow Yeah, it goes across the ocean. Well, I mean it when they were connected. It, like during the pan spermia days? Yeah. What? Pan spermia. I was pan-geo. Oh, that's the wrong one. Pan-geo. You know what pan spermia is? Pan spermia is the theory that asteroids create that seeded life on Earth. Oh, OK. It's like spores and amino acids were in asteroids. [011:00] It's funny. It's trying to get to be close and just make something gay. And I did not turn it into sperm. Check out that picture I said, Jamie. Cause another one might be better. I didn't zoom in as much on this one. There's the first one. Look at this guy. Oh, damn, just wandering around. I had to zoom in on him. That's why, look at the second one. It's probably less shitty. Oh, you mean you need one what's that about what have you done that dude was just chilling I think huge huge big old stag did you want to shoot him 100% I was looking at his vitals I was drawing back really but 90 yards. Oh Are you hunting when you saw no no no no no just wandering around I don't think you're allowed to bow hunt in Scotland I think they allow you to bow hunt in the UK because that they just oh it's for animals Yeah, I just don't think those they're [012:01] They're not educated about modern compound bows and modern broadheads. And you know, if someone's good at a bow and arrow, that's just as ethical as shooting with a rifle. Yeah, maybe more so. Annals die fucking quick when you shoot them with a bow and arrow if you shoot them right. They do. They die quick. Yeah. With one of those heavy duty compounds, like a Hoi shooting fucking 300 feet per second, razor sharp, broad head at the end of it. Whew! Just passes right through their body, next thing you know, they're spraying blood. Yeah. They die quick. You just went there, right? Did you just go hunting? Yeah. Yeah. What'd you get? I got an elk. Yeah, a big fucker. Big fucker. That's fun. Yeah. You killed it with a bone arrow? Yeah. Did you scream? I screamed. Yeah. Yeah. Hahaha. Hahaha. You're a Viking. No, no. There you go. Bone arrow? Yeah, bone arrow. I don't know, man. I need difficult things to do, dude. I have a fucked up brain. I figured it out somewhere in my 20s [013:07] that I just need to keep doing difficult things or just stay sane. I don't have a brain that is allowed to sit still. Yeah. I'm from the Romans. Yeah. That's my ancestry. Much of fucking psychos. Yeah, I came from like bog people. It's like, yeah, it's just bog. It's just bog Chis' bug, chis' bug Chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug Chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis' bug, chis You fucked up whatever it is whatever the mix is yeah, it's a weird mix. It works well if you can fuck it You know the way I say it It's like if you have a race car if you don't know how to drive a race car You're gonna fucking crash your trip But if you understand what's required to maintain this thing and you realize it's different than every other car in the road [014:01] You just have to manage it. You have to understand how to use it. I don't know what I am. Yeah, you're some kind of a fucking SUV. The van with a fucking taped window. No, I did. You're a party van. You're like a living fucking sprinter van. I don't know what it is. Yeah, you're a party van. We'll figure it out. You're an awesome party man. Yeah, you'd have good good tunes. I'm trying a cooler full of beer You're a party man just right dude. Yeah, no need to go fast Oh my god, I saw this video today of this guy was driving on the highway and he's in a truck and then Before he can stop there's sheep all over the road. He hits a thousand sheep. Here I'll say it to Jamie. It's so fucking dope. I mean, that's not great, but that's going to be very funny. Well it's okay to watch because it's not gory, but it's just like, oh my god, what the [015:02] fuck do you do? You can't do anything you hit him hit zero time to prepare How many thoughts Oh quite a few do they have the dash cam from in the car? Yeah, you get to see him. Yeah, that's my favorite Instagram is fucking weird like sometimes when Instagram is open It won't show you the link you're trying to get to did it come up the right one It won't show you the link you're trying to get to did it come up the right one Yeah, I'll show it. I'll send it to you. Yeah, this is the right one. Oh dude. I must have I Must have shown it on protective parks. There's one where this dog's crossing the street Oh, so I said Is this dude's just driving along the road having a good all-time Just doing his thing trying to get to his destination. He's not even speeding look going normal Not oh, geez. Oh, boo bro bro How many sheep did he kill oh? [016:02] No, how many sheep did he kill I Did he kill? No. How many sheep did he kill? I mean, I'm guessing 500. That was so many. So many. He's gonna semi-truck clearly. Yeah, clearly. Cause he didn't even slow him down. You didn't hear a bang. He got him with the high beams though. Look at this guy. He saw him. Bro had nine years to break. Shut the fuck up bitch. It's always some guy who shirtless in his out dog look at him Like five white lines on the middle of the road. Yeah, you had no time you go in 70 miles an hour you have zero time bang Bob [017:05] Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh You got to drive off dude. You just got to keep driving. You just got to keep driving. But meanwhile, anybody who's coming after you is going to crash. And you can't clear that many. You'll get killed. Because what's coming along? They don't see you in time. Obviously, if you can't clear that many. So that'd be hard work. I tried to come out. It'd be so heavy. There's no way that time. There's no way. There's no way. Damn, people are watching the fuck out of this video. Yeah. This is a big video. Yeah. The dog one is not, it sounds to it. People listening to this, they're not going to like it. I love these backstreet drivers. Look at this comment. Look at this comment here. Click back on that. Look at this. I mean, fair he didn't see him, but you're driving on an empty road. Why are you high beams not on to begin with? Shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. What country do you think, where was that? Is it funny, like, everything that ever happens? Someone's like, oh, why, this is what you should have done. [018:03] You should have done you should a done Hit you should have every now or then give him a slap that guy needs a slap a little slap commenting on fucking That poor driver went through that hellish night. Yeah, that probably fucked him up Probably not you don't think? Nice, probably on math. I'm trying to get to his destination. Just on math. Just went down. It's probably. He probably saw every sheep. Yeah, everyone that he hit, he probably saw crystal clear. He probably sped up the video, so it didn't look so bad. It's going slow as fuck. It's not good. It happened in Australia. Oh nice. Okay. Well over 100. More It's not good happening Australia. Oh nice. Okay well over a hundred More killing and injuring more than a hundred years of use still photos from the other other angle. Oh no Whoa, wow, I like how they blurred out the sheep Poor guys that one just always my friends. Oh Fuck that said fuck [019:03] That does suck. Australia continues to bring the heat. Doesn't say anything. Every video they put out is the funniest video you've ever seen. Wild place man. That is a wild place. As many people as in Los Angeles and it's the size of the United States and the center of it is filled with death. Empty. It's all death. It's all things that can kill you. Death. I talk about it a lot obviously, but there's a video of a guy, not the one punch in the kangaroo, that's the greatest. I can't do it. The, there's a guy like, a hang gliding. Hang gliding in your paragon. He's parachuting down, while he's paragliding. No, he's just landing a parachute. Oh, you got it. Oh nice He's two dickheads coming to attack. Oh my god Kangaroos can fuck you up too. That's the crazy thing is people die from kangaroos [020:04] So imagine the balls that That's the crazy thing is people die from kangaroos. So imagine the balls that kangaroos have. Look at this guy can fucking fly. So scared. And they come in and fuck you up. Wow. And they're grabbing at ya. Imagine they're balls though. Can't get loose. Fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' get at ya. They're a plague over there. They were seen though, the herds of them. There's like, fucking thousands of them. Just running together and they have to shoot them. They have no predators. Really? No predators. I mean, I don't know what the fuck used to kill kangaroos. Maybe the Tasmanian tigers, maybe the thylacine. Was they think, or still exist? They think they're still out there. How many, how they die? People killed them. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. I mean, the last one was in a zoo. The last live one that was in a zoo. It was dumb fucking, it was dumb. Well, it was time to go for those guys. [021:01] Yeah, we're looking. It's like a strange dog looking kind of creature. They're kind of cool. And they have giant mouths when the yawn open their mouths like what the fuck you do? Yeah, yeah. It's got like a fucking alligator head. Yeah, giant fucking mouth. They think they have them still in remote areas though because there's so much unexplored area and people spotted them. What in like Van Demen's like, you know, all their marsupials. Yeah. Yeah. Now while they had a pouch, a lot of marsupials over there, which is also odd. What cool looking for them. Yeah, I take it back. That's a good guy. Yeah. They think they found. So Google Thylacene spotted. Spotted in Australia. Sight, 2021, there you go. Click on that. Yeah, they think they've seen them. Tasmania Tiger Like Animal Conor and Video to suburban street. Yeah, they think they still exist, man. Like a bunch of people have apparently spotted them in different places. [022:02] To the point where I had a biologist on the podcast who was explaining that there's multiple different scientists trying to find these things. They have camera traps set up and shit and there's enough sightings that people are pretty sure that they're real that they're they actually still exist which totally makes sense because that is. I mean area is so big. Imagine being the poor fucking guys that got exiled there. Ooh, there's just those fucking animals around. Yeah, when they exiled them, they took the prisoners from England. Would they just drop them off and say, get out of there? Like political prisoners would have to go too. Ooh. Yeah, so there's a bunch of Irish dudes that have to go to Tasmania. You're just stuck there. Oh. I mean, they escaped, they got off pretty easy. I'm not, I'm sure it wasn't easy. I'm sure you died fine. It's fucking beautiful though. But about whether it's amazing, they're probably like, fuck England, this place rules. No, it's just you. Oh, just fucking house. Yeah. Well, how the girls get over there. They got some babes. [023:05] They got some local babes. They got some babes at this time. With local babes. Like, they must have imported babes. Those are white girls. Yeah, women got sent too. Oh, bad girls. Hors. Bad girls. Horsen drunks. Do you know that that's It's really nice and it's essentially a drunk English accent. Yeah. It's pretty great. No wild. Yeah, I think they could only trade like rum. That was like their main. Yeah, like most, I think that's how it was in the Caribbean too. I think I got my, just had rum and they're like, I fuck. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like Literally. Just put on a walk, you get a tag. It's a drunk version of the English accent. English accent, gay. You don't like it? Not all of them, the fuck it. Liverpool's great accent. Yeah. Yeah. Scousers. The fucking paddy, the baddie. Paddy, the baddie's great. I don't know. Yeah, we'll see. [024:01] He's a fun guy. He's a fun guy. Yeah. They'll ever be able to, they're fucking fun. When's he fighting again? He's fighting Tony Ferguson. I believe in two weeks, right? Yeah, in the next year of see. Tony Ferguson's fun. Tony Ferguson's got some miles. He's a fun guy. He got some miles on that probably. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, he's been training with David Goggins. Oh, I saw that. Yeah, that's kind of, Goggins is just fucking him up. Yeah. I wonder how good that is for you to run a hundred miles. We're gonna find out. Yeah, you can't be good. I've no expert on fitness. Well, fitness is important, but sparring is very important too. And timing is important in training and technique and drilling and being prepared to do specific things. It just, when fighters get older, they can't move as good. There's a bunch of shit that you don't see. Right? They might have knee things that you don't see. They might have back things that you don't see. [025:01] So they look the same. It's apparently a video of Tony Ferguson when he used to enter the octagon how he used to move versus now. Oh yeah, you did that like Carl thing. Yeah, did he do that? But it's also the contrast to the way his body moves in the old dude in the old days when Tony Ferguson was on this undefeated run he was on the baddest fucking man on the planet. The fact that him and Kabeab never got to fight is a real fucking tragedy. Yeah. Because when he was in his prime, that's when he fell, just tripped on some wires backstage doing an interview and ripped his fucking neaport. Just completely ripped his neaport. I don't know that. Yeah, that's what happened. That's why the fight got canceled. And Al Iaquinta wound up fighting could be, but it's crazy. It's like, he's just walking along and he trips. And his knee just explodes. I mean, like severe catastrophic knee injury. [026:02] I didn't ever get everything fucking surgically reattached and months and months of rehab. And it came back and the beat Anthony Patisne looked really fucking good. But, you know, there's only, an elite fighter can only operate at their highest level for so many years. There's only, there's a window of time where you can operate at the highest RPMs So here it is This is from 2015 This is him moving around when he got it to the octagon And this is 2019 still looking pretty good 2022 little slower. Yeah quite a quite a bit difference That's the the knees are fucking feeling it now. Now he's feeling it, right? He just moving different and they're saying sad. And now here we are, 2023. That Chandler knockout was rough. The kick. [027:00] Got front kick. Right into the jaw. There's a photo of Chandler's foot Connected on Tony's face like a fucking dolly painting. It's pile. Yeah, it's wild to look at like what happens to someone's face when a foot Impacts their fucking jaw Just this it's horrible. It's horrible. Yeah Rough sport it is a rough sport. I will say this about the cold plunge. I'm still cold. Yeah, there it is. Oh no. Bro, how crazy is that? I mean, that is a crazy photograph. That's crazy. He looked like he just turned a thousand years old. Like, he's like, they got him out of a glacier. Like, he was frozen in a glacier. I mean, that's a perfect kid. And look at Chandler's fucking quads. Imagine how much power is in that? Good Lord. Good Lord. Look at his body. He's just a ball of tense muscle. Just exploding on your face. Balls. [028:01] That's not a lot more gated. I was trying to make it. It happens. Wingland do. Have you seen the camera on a mace podcast? I did. It's as funny as it gets. Oh, Larry. The pause, the fucking, they're just going after it. That's crazy. Pause is so fucking funny. They just went after it. That crazy pause is so fucking funny. They just went after it. Yeah. It's like we were talking about this that like, they talk like people used to talk in the 90s. Yeah, they're going. They're telling stories, they're telling stories. And that's what we used to do. They're talking about like running trains on chicks. And they're laughing. They're both laughing so loud. Yeah, it's as good as it gets. It's really funny. Yeah. Because they're not scared. And that's the thing, like everybody today's scared. They're scared of telling the truth. And these guys just gone for it. They don't give a fuck. And it's very, very funny. Speaking of not giving a fuck. So I look at you. Hey, hey, long ones. True, I'm gonna get a Dame hat right now. Is Bud like coming back? Bud like coming back. Bud like coming back. I feel like it's coming back. [029:06] I'm not gay no more. I'm delivered. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we he didn't care at all. Oh, it's bringing up that I like win No, no more record no name's not done. We're still the best Dude I'm not Yeah, the other guys Gays I Think this dude came out as gay after this. Yeah, he's clearly he's gay [030:10] Didn't he afterwards he said to put him in whom I can yeah after wow like you did like some he tried his best Yeah, he got socially pressured into being like I'm not gay, but the weird thing is like when they start dancing around them It's okay. It's weird. It's a bunch of men dancing around and they're all real close. Like high five in each other. Yeah. Yeah. Like, how gay are my shoes? Yeah. We're so gay. I get Mr. Delivert. Mr. Delivert. Beast. Delivert. Delivert. An internet sensation. Radio personally known for his favorite famous, um, delivered video that went viral in 2014. Oh, wow. So he's making something. How many followers you got? 350,000. Yeah, he's got rules. 357. So let me see what he's up to now. Also a little wait. Looking good, dude. But is he gay now? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. [031:01] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, photo down there. Yeah, he's gay. I mean what is happening here? He's back. Yeah That if he's not gay, he should consider it He is Yeah, he was gay then he was gay. He was gay But I put a tragedy imagine being gay and people don't want you to be gay That has got to suck. Yeah, because imagine if everyone was gay Because like if you're in high school right now, and you're not gay, you're not even cool Yeah, if you're not trans. Yeah, what are you? You're straight white man you piece of shit. You fucking You're responsible for everything. You're like what I'm 11. What did I do? That doesn't change get on you go wait a second. I fucking do it I was just born. Yeah, that was funny just like Simpson in the green room. This is maybe this isn't great for this, but we were talking about the Gypsy King. We were talking about Tyson Fury. And he was like, we were talking about how Gypsy's like, you can't call him Gypsy. They, but he, you can't say Gypsy over there. [032:00] They get offended. And Brian Simpson was was like well, they call each other gypsy. I was like I Know it's crazy, right He's like well, they say they call each other And the whole room was howling he got he got away as soon as I was like I know crazy right? but that green was my favorite spot on earth you going tonight? I can't wait. I'm gonna be asleep dude. Are you? Yeah I did this is I'm experiencing this is the true Joe Rogan experience. Workout podcast stand up. Yeah that's a tough day. Really? What else did you do? Usually it's just lay down stand up. Yeah, that's a tough day really What else did you do usually it's just lay down stand up? [033:06] Answer no, I'm getting what's app calls? How am I getting what? Is that from Argentina? No, this one's not. But I've gotten multiple WhatsApp calls today. What have my phone number got leaked? Under the WhatsApp? Oh, I think I'm a delete WhatsApp. Yeah. It's no need for me to have that thing on there. So do it on there. No, I had it when I was living in Europe. I didn't like it. Yeah, for people in Europe, like I think that's it. I think that's it. I don't have iPhones over there. That's it. I don't know. I think she's WhatsApp. Why are they so popular over there, but not over here? What happened? I don't know. They got it, it's weird didn't, yeah. Use a separate app to text. Well, I think it's cause it's- I don't think I understand anything. Is that what it is? Let me delete that thing right now. Cause it's been happening all day. So they still use to happen. Delete it. Sorry, buy WhatsApp. Cross-platform functionality. Yeah. [034:01] I don't know anything. I don't either. I just know my phone's been blowing up with WhatsApp. When I think of WhatsApp, I think about what happened to Jeff Bezos. What's that? Well, someone, I think it was the top dude in Saudi Arabia sent him a link. He clicked on this, my friend. And it was one of those black eyes with the dick. It was bad. Got him. Got him. Somebody got me the other day with Floyd Mayweather. That was the only guy that I got that. I got that. I saw the San Francisco Chronicle at the bottom. That's how you know. So here, a cigar, whenever he sends me something, like, I know he got me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm clicking anyway. Ah But the head guy said Bezos a link and yeah Jeff Bezos hack Amazon boss phone hack by Saudi crown prince wild Okay, investigation suggests Washington Post owner was targeted five months before murder of Jamal Kashoggi [035:01] Yeah, because they were the Washington Post was doing some sort of an expose on MBS. And then that was before they killed Jamal Kashoggi. And then they sent him a message like, hey, click on this. And it uploaded Pegasus software to his phone. And Pegasus is the Israeli spy software that allows them to read everything on your phone. Apparently though, according to Gavin DeBecker, this is a securities expert, that the new Pegasus too, they don't even need a link, they just need your phone number. Like it's over. Like all this idea of like encrypted this and fucking hidden that and I was trying to explain to a friend of mine, he carries around one of those weird phones, which it's like an Android phone that has some sort of top secret operating system and there's anything that they make in a factory. And they make it a factory. I go, hold on, are you making phone calls? Do you use text messages? Okay, well then your phone, it released, it released the tower and they know exactly where you are. [036:01] Yeah. I get this one way, one way for you to hide the location. You have to take your phone and you have to shut it off and then put it in a Faraday bag. And he's like, what's a Faraday bag? You ever heard of the company silent? No. SLNT, they make backpacks. And inside that backpack, there's a Faraday sleeve for your laptop and a Far it in there and you you vanish. Who's doing that? Who's vanishing? A lot of people. Why? Well, I don't know if you know about the state of the world today but a lot of people are being tracked. I don't know. I have no need to vanish. For now you don't. Yeah, but if some shit gets weird. Yeah, but how many people are getting like a company's making this for just regular dudes that are like I need to get off the grid. Yeah, because someone like say if you're even a divorce, this is a silent SLNT. Reconnect you're right to disconnect. Yeah, if you say if you're going through a divorce or something like that and your wife fucking decides to travel, [037:04] I don't want to ever. divorce or something like that and your wife fucking decides to try it. Yeah. He's already in the pain. Get away. Yeah. My bad. They work. It's very funny. They're still doing like, but once you start using your phone, they know what you are. Of course. Yeah. I mean, if you're fucking hiding from the CIA, guess what? You can't use a phone. The CIA is going to get you. They're gonna get you. And eventually you're gonna use someone else's phone. They got to know that they shot the president in the head. Oh yeah. They're gonna get you. Oh yeah. Elsa, who are you? What are you doing? Yeah, who are you doing? I don't know. I mean you, yeah. You're in trouble. I assume they're listening everything I said they got all my dick pics They go all my fucking all my memes. I'm just I I'm gonna every time I fucking jack off I yesterday the Copy off there the grand theft out of thing leaked the trailer leaked and they said it the way it happened It's because they probably uploaded to YouTube and once you do that no matter if a video is private or not [038:03] Anyone not anyone but most people who work at YouTube have access to that now. Right. So thousands of people had access to that file and could have stolen it immediately. Anyway, anytime I jack off, I'm always worried somebody gets that footage. You phones looking at you? It is, but yeah, if somebody sees that face, that face just... Well, that face just, with a half-hard dip. You're thinking about quitting, but you're just determined to keep going. Cause you don't wanna stop once you start. Yes, see if that zinc works. Yeah, fucking measure your loads. I don't know. On scale. Oh, this was good today. Let's see, I had five egg whites. Yeah, that waffle house paid off the major load. Yeah, if guys have little loads that get sad, it is depressing. That's all out. Yeah. Jamie, you have little loads from how do you know from how do you know what about it? Well, are you looking at fuck you? [039:06] You have Mike do you have access to my phone? Yes, Pegasus 3. Yes, it's only gets your fucking love. I just go straight to Jake whenever you are your link to you porn. It fucking sends a notification to Shane's phone. Oh, you're my buddy. And the fuck is your wack on it? My buddy my buddy got fucked. He was a shout out LaMaire. He's gonna love this. He got he's got some great stories. One of them we were on the road in fucking Milwaukee And he was like, you know what? I'm gonna try to find an orgy What which is crazy? I mean find an orgy. You knew this guy. It'd be even crazier to see this guy be like I should go to an orgy He just said I'm gonna go find it. Who said he does that? So he went on Reddit to Milwaukee's Gone Wild. He goes, whatever city where he checks out there, Gone Wild, and they were like, we're having an orgy at the days in. Right, so he's the reference. The reference to never come. [040:01] Just so you know that guy was and then he got he paid like they were like it's a hundred dollars a ticket It was like all right deal Pays him a hundred dollars Takes an Uber the days in in Milwaukee at like 3 a.m. He gets there. He's in the lobby He's like hey, can you guys I'm here? They're like we're too busy fucking we can't let you in He gets back to my out, we're in New York and he's like, I gotta fuck it. He's like, I'm gonna message him and be like, give me that fucking money back. So I messages him and they're like, they must have his location somehow. So I messages them and he's like, hey you guys, fuck to me on that. And they're like, actually we're doing an orgy in Brooklyn tonight. We'll give you half off if you wanna come to that. Oh my gosh. I did, they just keep taking this one. He's so dumb. He's so dumb. He's so dumb. He's like, yeah, yeah, it's worth it. I could be wrong. They might've got him on a FaceTime. Somebody might've got him on a Jack and off on Face They say they're a girl, they don't show you who they are, they keep their screen black. Oh boy. You were a boy. [041:06] They go, oh boy. You owe us $5,000 and we're going to release that video. Oh man. Shout out to the mayor. I just fucked him. My bad, I love you. Listen, what is it going to do to him? So people are going to have to help his career. He's told that story before. Yeah, it'll help his career. Yeah. That's the thing about being a comic. It's not like being a journalist. Yeah, you know? If you're a journalist and you get busted, you jacking off to FaceTime, like you're in real trouble. Like that Jeffrey Tubing guy. Yeah. That guy was in real trouble. Like he lost his job. I think they brought him back on CNN but everybody just kept calling the jerk off guy. That's over. You're done. And then he went on Patrick Beck David's podcast. He was like defending the vaccine. Like it was a religious doctrine. It was wild. It's like this guy was so scared of being canceled. That like everything was like completely by the book. Like whatever the narrative is, [042:03] that the mainstream media is pushing, this guy was all in with no questions asked off. Yeah, he got caught in the jacket. That's just how it is. That's just how it is. If you're one of those guys, you can't, you know, it's fucking dangerous for you all those guys. You don't want them coming for you again. You already got caught jacking off. Getting caught jacking off is brutal. That's a tough one on a fucking zoom. The fact that you can't stop jerking off while you're talking about the election. But a bunch of other journals. That just means the whole time he was talking in the back of his head, he was like, oh, that's a real person. As opposed to what these people portray themselves in the media, as As these like moral authorities and these experts and these people of substantial reason, they're not that. They're fucking weirdos are being confined by this job and they're boxed into a very specific way of behaving and talking and they put makeup on you [043:00] and they sit you in front of a camera and you talk about whatever the fuck they tell you to talk about and you pretend you're smarter than everybody else. And when those people go on like a show or they get questioned, like when they went on like that guy went on the Patrick Bet David podcast. Like you just see who they really are. It's like, oh you're just some guy and this is what you do and. And they work for both. They work for CNN and Fox and change their, they're like girlfriends. Yeah, they go back. Whoever I'm dating, that's my personality. Well, didn't Tucker Carlson started CNN? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He's a rough. He's buck wild now. His laughs wild. He's wild. I met him for the first time. I heard he's a man. Very nice guy. Yeah. Very nice guy. Like, like, seem genuine, shook his hand. How you doing? We talk, chit chat. Yeah, everything I've seen of him, he seems cool. I'm like, not snide on the guy. I wouldn't describe him as cool. This is what he is. He's odd. He's odd. Like, there's no question about it. He's odd. [044:01] Like the way he laughs is odd. The way he communicates his odd but I don't think he's a bad guy at all I think I think what he does is very important for the most part like some of this stuff is like like when you found the dude who blew Obama like yeah yeah like what is this yeah like this is I mean this is the same guy that's exposing fraud in the, this is the same guy that's exposing fraud in the CIA. This is the same guy that wants to release the Kennedy files. And then he's like, I'll tell him in. This guy blew the president. Yeah. What? Even if he did, who fucking cares? I kind of want to know. But who cares? I mean, I'm kind of happy. That's big. That's big news. That's big news. I know, but is it shocking? I mean, if you're a guy and you're running for president, you're gay, you're not telling anybody. Not in this day and age. There's just way too many people. They would think you're a freak. There's way too many people that unfairly associate gay people with some other kind of perversion [045:03] as well. They don't just think this is just, you know, just like how you like women, this guy likes men, we should all be free. And clearly, it is how he is. This is not some wacky thing like being addicted to gambling. This is like a thing that is in your genes. And we need to accept it. If we're gonna be a kind compassion society, we need to accept it. If we're gonna be a kind compassion society, we need to accept it. Yeah. But there's a lot of people that automatically will associate homosexuality with some kind of perversion for whatever unfortunate reason. Well, it's because the reason is because it's guys fucking each other in the butt. So that throws people off a little bit. But that should be completely legal. It gets lumped into like pedophilia and then whenever there's a pedophile that happens to be gay then people like see but there's just a lot of pedophiles yeah you know I mean that's the that's the creepiest thing like [046:01] I got sent a documentary last night about this lady. Oh, that's lady who fucked a 12-year-old student and she got pregnant. Oh Fuck her name. Why does that not bother me nearly as much as male pedophiles? Yeah He found out about something cool a little sooner than he should have although I think he got it's always a lady a little damaged Of course he got damaged. I'm just kidding. I have a friend mine. They got really fucked up with Mary K Oh, this is similar to no that's the oh that was the one I got was the Mary K one. Okay Mary K. Laterno. Oh, yeah, that was a famous one. It's a wild lady. He was 13 She started off sex with him when he was 13. She was already the mother of four and had a marriage that was disintegrating. Yeah, obviously. The first sex you get, you don't even get to have sex with a fellow teenager. You got to bang this old lady, you've had 50 kids. You don't even know. Oh, that's. [047:07] I mean, I think he got married after they split up and she went to jail and then they still got married. Oh, she passed away in 2020. Yeah. Oh, of what? That is 58. I think she had butt cancer. I swear to God. No, he swear to God. He was just shooting loads and there forever. That's like probably so bad for your butt. Come. Do you got a bunch of come in there? I'm just guessing. I'm just guessing. I'm just guessing. I'm just guessing. Could be bad for you. I don't know. Probably not good. Like otherwise everybody would do it Imagine if that was like this the key to longevity we have found You know this is the reason why ancient combies I had to do it If you had to do it if you had a I was telling Tony the other day. I'd fuck a guy. I was still wearing a mask like shut up [048:03] Yeah I'm telling you the other day, I'd fucking guy was still wearing a mask, like shut up. Yeah, I don't know if he fucking guy. But guys still wearing a mask in 2020, three of up picking him. I still, yeah, I saw a guy on the plane yesterday wearing a mask. Yeah, rock hard when I saw him. Listen, I feel bad for them. I really do. At this point, I feel bad for it did that fucked me up as far as like, because for like a year I was afraid of like talking close to people. I was afraid for quite a few months. For however long that was, that like fucked me up for a while. I feel like until I got to Texas I was afraid. Yeah. But LA was afraid. Like it was in the air. Yeah. Like people were freaked the fuck out, man. They were weirded out. Bill Burnett's podcast was yelling at someone who's across the street who didn't have a mask on. He talked about it on the podcast. What? Don't mask? Bill was all in at that nonsense. He was. But I swear to God, it's in the air there. I feel like if he was here, he wouldn't have done that. There's a thing that's real. And you [049:06] could feel it when you go to other countries for sure, is that people have, there's a different vibe that the people there have. And if you're, we are vibes and people's thoughts and their energy is very contagious. It's very contagious. And if you're around people that are freaked out, you're going to be more freaked out than you would be if you're around people who weren't. And most people have a certain level of anxiety anyway. There's a reason why they're selling so much Xanics. There's a reason why so many people are in SSRIs. There's a lot of people out there that are not on a good path, whether it's because of their own fault or whether it's decisions that were made that affected them or whether it's the way they were raised or the fucking environment they find themselves. I'm not casting any blame on people, but there's a certain percentage of the population that is just already fucked up and then COVID came along and it just, and I think there was more people that are already fucked up in [050:07] these high population urban areas. And I think it's just natural because I don't think people are supposed to be stacked on top of each other like that. Like one of the things that I felt when I went to Scotland, you feel relaxed, almost immediately. And I was like, I think, and we were all talking about this. We were like, I think when you're around a shit ton of people, whether you recognize it or not, there's something you're experiencing. There's energy you're experiencing, whether it's just because there's so many numbers and you're paying attention to all these different people and kind of like seeing, looking around you and taking in all this data, whether it's a lot of noise, or whether it's like there's physical energy that comes off of people that we just don't know how to measure yet. I'm more inclined to think that, because this is why I like the mountain so much. When I go to the mountains, dude, I feel better. [051:01] Like you feel like... ...like whatever the fuck is fucking with people in cities. And so if you go to cities and everybody's all ramped up and crazy, like why are they so ramped up like that? But they're not in Scotland. Yeah. Because you're not supposed to be stacked on top of each other like that. This is some new thing we're trying out. Yeah, I get in a bad mood. It's like good for you. You got to walk behind someone slow. Oh God, yeah, I'm just furious all day. Trafficking in the dark. They behave as if you're not going to punch them. They're like knock into you and talk shit. I've seen people talk shit to people for no reason on the street. Like this is wild. And they get punched. Yeah, they should get punched. They should continuously get punched and keep going. Some guy hit my fucking car with a briefcase once. And I came that close to stop in the car. Yeah. I was coming home from some stupid fucking audition that I did want to do and this dork. This dork in his glasses and I was in the intersection and the my light was green and they were all j-walking. [052:03] And he just decided to hit my fucking car With his back with his fucking briefcase if it wasn't a piece of shit car. I might have brain I was thinking about brain in hell. I was thinking about just spinning back hill I was just gonna hit the fucking e-brake and just run out and brain him. Yeah I mean that's just shut him off. And no one would do anything. Back then I could have got away with it too, because this was the 90s. It wasn't like there was cameras anywhere. Because he probably, his head probably bounced off the concrete. And that would have been a wrap. That's how people die, dude. Like if you're going to brain someone in the street, you really should kick him in the body. You hit him with the trough. You got a body kick him. Yeah, you really should body kick him. Because you don't want to kill him. Yeah. You don't want him to hurt. If you kick someone in the head in the street, you very, very likely you could kill them. There's like a two out of ten possibility that you're going to kill him. That would get you some respect in prison though. B I mean, they're like what's he in for you? He hit my fucking car with a briefcase. I roundhouse to many died. [053:05] I know shit. The earth killed him. I didn't kill my smoke. You know, it comes good for your butt. Yeah, I heard it's bad for your butt. That's what I heard. It's bad. I don't. It's bad. Yeah. I just don't like the level of tensions involved I get I mean, he's still here and it's like this traffic to this urban attitude Yeah, it's not that bad here though dude even there's just not enough people here the level the feeling what? Why got here when I first moved here? I was like oh, this is the right number of people Yeah, it's like a number of people where you can sustain a like great restaurants You can sustain a great university. You can sustain a bunch of good businesses. Like it's plenty big. Yeah, it's definitely better than New York as far as... Oh God, yeah. Although I was there yesterday in the... Just say the plaza near the Central Park, it was fucking nice. I was just walking around. Dude, I love this. It was very nice. I love this in New York. [054:01] Yeah. Yeah. I got these guys in the Bronx, G&R Deli. You ever have? No. Dude. This is like the best Italian Italian sub I've ever had in my fucking life. It's called the Bronx Godfather. We went and the last time we went for the UFC. These fucking waps are never original. What are you talking about? You Italians. Like this was the Godfather. I didn't. You Italians. My people named it. But dude, it's fucking, it's the best food. It's terrible for you. These people all look like they just fill with inflammation. They'll just eat and post all day. God damn, they look like they're having a great time. They're having a great time. Yeah. They're eating. God bless. Just grow up. Forget about your diet. This guy who says that forget about your diet Then they watch the Yankees not make the playoffs fuck What I wanted this is come on look at this guy subs shut the fuck up Tell me that doesn't make that's a chicken cutlet Come on son look at this sandwich look at this way of slicing this thing open tell me you're not hungry [055:03] I actually I am hungry. Oh Look at this way of slicing this thing up and tell me you're not hungry. I actually I am hungry He's hungry too It was looking about the fuck That's why I tried Tommy As my friend Tommy Jr. I've been friends with that dude for he's about to fuck one of these three years You could fuck one of those sandwiches you could have you had to oh No problem. Great people though. Fucking the nicest people. Salty people in the food is insane. But I just, I don't know how we got to that. Where were we talking about? How do we get to sandwiches? Living in cities, sucks, but. But yeah, but they have great food. New York has the best Italian food. It's so good. I fucking love going there. I love going there. Yeah. I do, I wouldn't say I miss New York, but I do. I like going. New York rules. I still want to live there. Yeah. I'm too whatever it is. Whatever it is. I like, I like wilderness. I want a ranch. That's what I want. I want someplace where there's like, I'm wake up, I see deer, and I hear birds chirping and shit. That's what I like. [056:06] It is fun to see deer. I got a house, my family, and we have a house in the Poconos. Oh nice. But those deer are shitty. They're like, scraggly. They're fucked up deer. They're always around the house, and they're fucking dirty., nice deer. And then you see them up close. You're like, oh, no. There's a thing called CWD, chronic wasting disease. It's tearing through deer. And to the point where there's a lot of people that are scared to eat deer in certain places, like in certain spots in Wisconsin, my buddy Doug Durin is a part of this conservation effort to try to like mitigate this spread of this disease and they're trying to actually shoot more deer because they're trying to lower the population so that this less of it is funny. I know it is the correct move, but it's always like, sorry. We're gonna have to kill more of them. Sorry, we have to be half to kill. They really do in this case, because if you ever been in the Midwest, [057:01] the fucking deer are everywhere. It's my buddy John Dudley owns a hunting farm. Okay. This guy is like one of the best bow hunters on earth. He teaches archery. It's a different level. Like if you had a, like, you know how I opened up the mother ship, well this guy developed his deer farm. It's like one of those type deals. And there's a few of these guys. like this is another guy named Lee Likoski as a similar situation. And they live in Iowa just a hunt deer. Like it's a religion dude. They have cameras set up all around the property so they can find out when a guy is in the neighborhood. So they try to, because these big bucks are smart. And they know they're being hunted. And so most of them go nocturnal until The ladies want a party And that's when you get them when when they wind up hunting season is during the rut And so risk at all they just they get so horny the guys have walked made videos where they walk right up to a deer [058:02] Like this big deer is just standing there in the middle of the was they rock right up to him Touch and go hey, man. You okay? He's so He's probably fucked out. He put fucked like 30 does And he's like standing fuck kill me kill me I'm done. He's been listening to 30 stupid stories and fucking To talking about and then she said to me and I was like you are not gonna talk to me like I Mean yeah, I don't like that. I think it's not music Well even you starting to say that I my brain shut off And then she said I was just With so many videos of guys like walking up to a deer and touching it with an arrow like came in you all right like Fuck you doing here? And the deer's like, huh? They're just horny, bro. They're just so fucked out or so horny that they literally are so confused that they let someone walk right up to them. Like, that's how much it affects the brain. And they only get to fuck once a year. So imagine human beings are like that, but human beings, we can have sex 365 days a year. Just imagine if all human beings only bred in November. [059:09] And some fucking November rolls around and everybody goes crazy. That's what it's like in the dear world. It would be war. War. It would be war every November would be. It would be horrific you'd have to hide your family. Look at this deer. During the rut with his arrow. Hey bro. Look at him. He's, huh? The way man. He need to get his sleep it off. He got his sleep. He can't even stand. Look he's standing cock-eyed. Oh, finally figured it out. Finally snapped out of it and took off. That is wild, dude. That's crazy. That's wild. And that was scary. And shout out to that dude for not smoking it. It should have point blanked it. Because he had a fucking arrow in his hand. He could have smoked it. That shows how many hunters are out there They're like that guy. They're ethical. Also, that's a little deer. You don't really want to shoot that. [1:0:05] Really? Yeah, let me see that again. It was a little pumper. That is, yeah, that's like a one-year-old deer. See how he has very tiny antlers? Maybe two. He might be two years old. But that's about it. He's not old. What the fuck Like, but if you were in a place that has low deer population density or low buck density, like some places like they just shoot any buck, you know, because you could shoot any buck. Some places have different rules, like they have to have forked tines, they can't be like stubs, they can't be what's called a button buck. What a button buck is, they're barely, they're so young, they're barely having antlers, there's little nub, but they're still a male so you're technically allowed to shoot them a button But some Big old one that I spawned big old trophy That ice punch doesn't count. That's not fair. You digs gone. Yeah, 37 degrees for three minutes You digs going and with that water flowing Yeah, I took a shower after that one's rougher That's the the the blue cube the one we have in the studio That's the roughest one. That's the rough. I will say this about cold plunges the only thing you do after you do a cold [1:1:10] Plunge is tell people you took a cold plunge. You can't shut the fuck up. It's like people get into yoga. Yeah, they can't shut the fuck up I understand because they always judge those people me too. Yeah, yeah now every conversation I have I I didn't know it's people. I am the Colesblings. I am those people. Yeah. Yeah. I'm those people with almost everything I like. I get it. Yeah. It's a problem. Not really. Look at that fucking thing. I thought you were wrong about the Colesblings. No. We did me, Ari and Mark stuck our fucking, fuck this, I'm never gonna do it. Neymar, you did three minutes today. What do you do? You're a stud now. No, no, I just needed you standing there going, get in there bitch, and then it's like, I'm not a pussy Joe. Come on man, you got in pretty easy. The first time you did it was rough, but now you're pretty accustomed. get in it sucks the fucking women done it at least but eight nine times now how many times you've done it yeah every [1:2:06] time yeah yeah yeah I enjoy it it's good it really is really being done with it how good does it feel when you get out of there yeah you feel like you're on the best drug a good yes like a super manager genuinely feels like like if someone ever wants a borrow money they need to catch me right when I'm coming out of the right now I'm I'm having a sauna other cold punch. I've also noticed when I get out of it I can't shut the fuck up. Yeah, I get out. I'm just kidding. Yeah, just giddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice I haven't been happy in a while so it's good You can be happy every day just get one of those fucking things for you backyard. We'll hook it up Maybe dude Dude, you should have one dude. I can't, you're gonna have to come over and go to the closet. I'll come over. You have to come over and see, you're not the far away from me. I'll go as I'm never getting. You don't live that far away from me. I will drive over your house before shows and we'll both do it together. You know, we'll both do it together. I'll do it. It'll be great to do You know that sometimes when you have like Saturday shows and you're like, fuck, you went out Friday night [1:3:05] and then you're slept in the hotel. Every single Saturday. Good sleep because you're not at home. And then you have lunch, it's not very good for you, whatever the fuck you're eating. And then you're like, okay, it's six shows at eight, fuck. I gotta wake up. I usually jack it off and take a nap. That's what it helps. I literally wake up 20 minutes before the car's coming and I'm like, oh, shit. You forget you're doing a show. Yeah. If you had a cold blunge in your room, plopping there, you're under like the path to like making yourself a better person, Shane. What the, why is this? Do you feel this? You're on a spiritual journey. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's like joke. Yeah. I have on a spiritual journey right now. Mm. Uh, no. Yeah, that'd be cool to be better. Yeah. Well, these workouts will help. No, no. [1:4:00] We just, all we have to do is just stay consistent. Yeah. Stay consistent. Everybody feels better. We were talking about Saun today. He's like, God, I feel so much better. He was saying that he's getting more attractive women hitting him up on dating apps. I'm like, I don't think we had to let that. I had to let that get near the sauna. This sounds like I'm definitely getting stronger. I'm getting more attractive women on dating sites to respond. I'm like, you got to ask me if five workouts. Yeah. He's awesome though, but he does feel better. He feels better, more confidence. Yeah. How wild is he doing that Muslim prayer? So for people who don't know, our friend of son, Salari's comic, works at the mothership. Can't he can't, he does not understand Arabic, but he can read it and write it. Yeah. Which is like so crazy. not understand Arabic, but he can read it and write it. Yeah. Which is like, so crazy. Well that was... That was taught to read it and write it when he was a kid. And he can recite Muslim prayers, but he doesn't know what they mean. Yeah. Which is like, what? That was clearly just autism. [1:5:00] You think so? As soon as he said it, I was like, oh shit, now it makes sense. I've heard you say some wacky shit. Now I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A touch of the Tism. He's got a little, yeah. A touch of the Tism is a superpower. Certainly is. I feel like it is. Yeah, I wish I had more. I like to crank it up by like 2%. He started off with I have CTE for sure. I got a little of that. Yeah, I must I must I get hit in the head too many times There's all the things that I know now about people that get hit in the head. I'm like yeah, it does something Yeah, I got hit in the head for like 10 years And then I also probably have toxoplasmosis because I used to have a wild cat Most like I got that too And I always had cats when I was a kid and they always went out. Like cats, if you got cats, you're fucking. You got let them out. Yeah. You got let them out. But they're a little bunch of little fucking murderers. But. I'm a big fan of that. I'm a big fan of let them out too. But the thing is like you're gonna get toxic so and you're probably gonna get it. Yeah, what does it do? The fact that you're thinking, makes you more rational, [1:6:06] makes you more irrational. Yeah, there's a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims, motorcycle crash victims. Got bit by cats that are test positive for toxoplasmosis. They don't know if there's a correlation, but they do think it affects your impulse, because people. Yeah, there's also a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from places that have high levels of toxoplasmosis. Yeah, they don't know if that's because there's a lot of really successful soccer teams that come from third world countries, poorer countries, that's possible too, but it also might be just it makes you wilder. Yeah. Like it might literally possibly could change cultures. At one point in time, France, 50% of the country tested positive for it. They just wild people. Who's wilder than French? The French as well. The French are wild, bro. Those are some wild people. I saw an Napoleon. [1:7:01] How was it? I loved it. You did. I loved it. Why do people not was it? I loved it. You did. I loved it. Why do people not like it? Here's what I think I think Ridley Scott made Napoleon like a human well walking Phoenix did it Made him like a human being like he says dumb shit. He fucks up. Mm-hmm You know usually if you're watching like a historical movie like you want him to be like Abraham like a speaking well The entire time totally control right. Yeah, this is a guy that's like an actual human He's a human the whole time but Every time they cut to a scene where he's fucking his wife. It's so funny It's just him dog he all he does doggy stuff. That was his knife or is he? I don't think that's historically accurate cut to him and chose me like Pretty great It's pretty great. Yeah, it is. That's crazy. So how many sex scenes are in the movie? There's two that I can definitely remember. Wow. And both of them are... It's a hard cut to him, Doggy Style. Interesting. Yeah. I wonder why. [1:8:00] I wonder when people figured out you can have sex looking at each other. Because most animals are Doggy Style. Yeah. Like all of them. In fact, I When do people figure out you can have sex looking at each other? Because most animals are doggies style. Yeah. Like all of them. In fact, I mean, I don't want to turn this into some type of freak shit, but I saw a funny video of a gorilla doggie sound on another gorilla. The fucking kids watching at the zoo. He's like, funny how a human they look when they fucking so funny. They will tie a dick. They will tie a dick. They will tie a dick. Grill is? Yeah, fuck it. Chim's that big dick. Do you know why? Why? Because chimp females are more promiscuous. There's a, if you, grill is also have little balls. This is interesting. Like in primates, there is a direct relationship between the number of promiscuous females that are nearby and the size of the male's testicles Not a while that's crazy as wild Interesting fact. Yeah, that's what chimps have giant nuts Because chimps chimps ladies are wild. They want big nuts. Yeah, they want big nuts Well, they need a lot of loads. Mm-hmm. They're going to war. Yeah, trying to make babies those guys are having a tough time They They're having a tough time I don't I wouldn't yeah that chimp empire ship bug me out. I didn't like it [1:9:08] It's wild. I like to do that in the beginning of chimp empire the guy There's the first scene where they go like fight the other colony Mm-hmm, and he's like I'm out of here Catch him the other colony caught him on the way back and killed him. I respected him just being like, I know you guys are gonna make fun of me when we get back. This is scary, I'm going home. You can't even join the other team. They got ripped apart. Like at least some armies, well, even the Mongols, they should take in other warriors. You join us. We'll have to kill you. I wonder if chimps ever do that. Well, something has to happen, right? Because they do branch off. Like they were saying that there's one clan that was a part of another group. I bet they just start fucking the ladies. What do they call a tribe? What do they call them? Troop, a troop of chimps. I could be wrong on that one. Jamie, what are you doing over there? [1:010:00] I'm talking about Creel as fucking. I'm falling all on here fucking I was looking for doggy style scenes in Napoleon actually I thought I had something but I lost it Oh On the new stuff so I've had to please find gril is fucking at the zoo What was the other thing and then wait right after girls troops? Oh, yeah, what is the the group? What do they call a tribe? a plan of This is a group of apes or chimpanzees is a shrewdness. Whoa Yeah, this is fun a shrewdness that came in this good British Is that like the British where they spelled tire? The white hole shit dude. You'll tie us. Yeah. Tie us with a Y. Antelope. Oh, baboons are a true. Wow, a shrewdness. Baboons are a true. Oh, okay. Answer a colony or an army. Interesting. That guy's Sapolsky, Robert Sapolsky, [1:011:01] who did all the research on toxoplasmosis, used the one I found out about the disproportionate number of motorcycle victims. He also did some crazy work with baboons. And one of the things they found these baboons, they had these like really rough alpha males, like evil, mean, brutal, bully alpha males. And they were getting food from this resort. They were getting food from the garbage So like hundreds of them would go to the the garbage and the resort and tear it apart and this one here we go Hey That's so fun Imagine what kind of dead lips you do funny. Yeah, but look how short the strokes are see what I'm saying Yeah, Ben there brother I'm sorry see what I'm saying yeah been there brother look at that That's exactly on Nice is slow Get the fuck out of that kid coming to look he's gonna get under there Hey, child's gonna tickles balls. Look at that. No rules at all the child's gonna get that's a baby champ man [1:012:02] That's a baby chimps. What are you doing in my mom? Yes, dude help push push I may help you push I mean that so these baboons that's not the one I was talking about the mean ones the mean ones got to the garbage first it turned out the garbage was poisoned like the garbage had some something in it that was poison yeah so these chimps died off so the alphas died and then everybody chilled turned out the garbage was poisoned. The garbage had something in it that was poisoned. So these chimps died off. So the alphas died and then everybody chilled out. And so this troop, I guess, of baboons for like, I think a decade. Yeah, it was a peaceful and cool, like it somehow, and then it eventually devolved back to bully alphas that were beating up all the other champs. Hey, we're no different. Yeah. World War Two, now we've been chilling for a while. Yeah. And now all of a sudden there's some, well how long do we chill for? Up to Vietnam. We, that barely counts. We've heard the World War Two. [1:013:02] Right. But there's like a completely unnecessary, whereas World War II was necessary. Because of an unnecessary start. Was the unnecessary start of World War II? Hitler had taken everything. Yeah, but like a lot of it is based on what happened in World War I. Yes. Yes. So World War I, one and two are pretty, everything in history is interlinked. Yeah, and there's not that much time between them either. Yeah. So there's like a regrouping of Germany and that we'll fucking show you. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, this is... World War One over. That's the ultimate dumbest fucking one ever. What is it over? Austria, Archduke, France, Ferdinand got assassinated in Serbia. That's right. And then, in the guy Lucky ran into the outside of a restaurant. Yeah. I tried to kill him, didn't. Then his car was parked outside of a restaurant. He's like, oh! Yeah, there he is. There he is. And then, there, was Serbia's ally, was Russia. [1:014:01] Austria's ally was Germany. Germany was like, we're gonna help Austria. That's why they got blamed. Wow. And then the whole world. And then the whole world, which they were all cousins. Why would they, why would they have to have to have that dude? Because Austria and Serbia, I guess had a pretty long history of fighting each other. And he was in Serbia. Manna Negra was, and he, it was kind of like flaunting it. Oh. It was kind of like, you shouldn't be here. Like Nancy Pelosi went to Taiwan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like, yeah, I'm more in hand with it. What? What'd you go and do, child? I could be wrong though. I think it was like uh... france fairytale was actually like one of the guys in austria that liked servia and he was one of the guys like helping it he was like an advocate for it and then uh... the black hand and forgetting his fucking name is very important the guy who shot [1:015:00] uh... i remember his name either it's embarrassing i don't remember and i either. It's embarrassing. I don't remember it. And I hope it's Serbia. I just am talking. I think it is from the Kingdom of Serbia. This isn't the thing I was looking at didn't have his name. So what happens in Germany during World War I? So World War I was over nothing. They fought Everybody died like millions of people died. And a lot of times it's this trench warfare where they, over the course of four or five years, they gained nothing, lost nothing. So at the end of the war, like when France and Germany and England had to sign this treaty, they were like, like the allies that won were like, oh, we gotta, makes, we gotta gain something out of this because otherwise our people are gonna kill us. When we signed this treaty and neither of us nothing changed and that was all for literally for nothing. So then they, they just blamed Germany for everything they were like, you guys, you owe France reparations. [1:016:01] Kavilla Prince had. Got him. So good. He was 19 years old. Fucked up the whole world. John Kavrila, one teenager. Yeah. Imagine, imagine we have one person and so many things happen because of one thing that you do. A 19 year old. Yeah. Like imagine being a CEO, Bud Light. Imagine being that lady It's not the CEO right what was she like marketing. Yeah, I was just head of marketing. Yeah, imagine being that lady Shit yeah, yeah, I'm not comparable that is to girlfriend's in the business world business world that was role rule one That's world war Business world, that was World War One. That's World War One. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't know. They didn't know the capabilities of the weapons. Right. Just like, yeah. Nobody had figured out gas here. World War One was doing. Nobody figured out kid rock shooting your pro. They were doing it. They were doing cavalry charges into machine guns. That other picture of Miller pretty handsome go that picture Imagine that guy shoots you like shit fucking guy great cheekbones. You were seeing young Stalin. He looks like [1:017:09] Scott Eastwood young Stalin was a babe was he yeah Criminal penalty 20 years imprisonment That motherfucker started it all off damn he was he was alive though for three years to witness what he did. That's a tough way. Yeah. I wonder if he connected them all. Clearly, he had. Yeah. Clearly. That started it. Yeah. I bet there's a lot of bragging in the showers. No, and I did motherfucker. I killed everyone. I got everybody killed. One of my favorite stories from War War one that I've talked about too much is that the Russians and the Germans had a cease-fire to kill wolves. That's awesome. I didn't know about that. They were in Russia and so many of them were getting killed by wolves that they decided to have a cease-fire. They negotiated a cease-fire to kill wolves. [1:018:02] That's terrifying. Imagine if you're a trench warfare and you get shot and you're screaming and you're an agony and then it's like you're trying to hide it. And there's 30 wolves tearing your friend apart and there's nothing you can do. You jump up people shoot you. Yeah. That's a... And the wolves just get into the trenches. What were one seems like the worst? Bro. Seems like one of these. Just look at what's probably the trenches. What were one seems like the worst? Bro. Seems like one of these. Just look at what's probably the worst. Dressed like. Yeah. How did they survive the elements? I don't know. They had stupid shoes. They didn't. Their shoes were so stupid. They had like shoes that you would wear if you're like walking down the street. Yeah. They're out in the woods. Yeah, show us what they were dressed like. Their boots were stupid. Like everything was stupid. There's no waterproofing. There's no nothing. There's no tactical gear. Yeah, nothing. You had fucking cotton shirts. So Hitler did do his boys. The guys that went into Russia. He was like, we're going to be done by, [1:019:01] we don't even need to make winter uniforms for these guys. With leather- sold shoes. They didn't even have like textured shoe soles. Yeah, back then. Just guys having fun. Just a good time. Trench warfare. Oh, he's fucking guys, man. Imagine, imagine that life that dude is taking a nap there. Just living in hell They got some cool art that came out of this from these guys getting fucked up you ever see auto Auto dicks. No get some auto dicks. You go back to that photo again, please that photo you just out of those guys Wow These are these doughboys What are these Americans these are Americans look at their little fucking outfits Imagine being stuck over there going what the fuck are we here for gas mask brother neck right? Yeah, yeah, that's when they first started using gas Fuck man You see when a horrific time have you seen all quiet on the western front? Yes, I love it. Oh no, wait a minute. I have no that's the new one right? [1:020:08] Yes, you gotta watch that. No, I have it. I mean it's so good. I Can you talk about it multiple times? I love it. I get bummed out when I watch it's the most depressing one I've seen a lot. Yeah, yeah, I always say I'm gonna do it when I'm like sitting in front of the TV But when I'm gonna do it when I'm like sitting in front of the TV. Yeah. But when I'm sitting in front of the TV most of the time, I just like to be entertained. I just just show me, I wanna watch that one. You gotta watch that one. You gotta watch that one. I can't really dip fast. It's bad. Dude, I get anxiety sometimes in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep again, anxiety thinking about the wars. Yeah, all the decks had some good ones He got he got fucked up from that war and this is all his work. Oh my god Everybody's all bullet holes and patch together. Oh Wow, so he was a soldier. Yeah, I think he's German. Oh my god. These are horrific [1:021:04] Yeah, what did that guy see? Oh, you ever see, all right, this is a, I don't know how good this is for podcast, but you gotta look at Goya. Look at Goya, look at his, have we ever talked about this on your? The gas mass, of course. Gas mass is scary. Cause that's the first time they ever experienced gas attacks. Goya, that was actually, those are the Napoleonic Wars. He was a Spanish guy. Look at all this bodies. But then he got dark dude. He got into the scary stuff. He's of satan shit. Yeah. Allegedly his last paintings were. So they're called the black paintings? Broke you imagine being alive the first time they start using gas. No, that would be a bum. They just got giant fans and they're spraying deadly gas towards you. Oh god, look at his stuff. That's, oh my god. That's not, yeah, it says it is. Francis, go go yeah. No, he did Saturn. He devoured. [1:022:01] Birth of Saturn's son painting. Oh god, look at that. That's horrifying. He's eating a baby. He did Saturn devouring his son. Well, I think that's what's happening right now. That's not the real one. It's the different one? Yeah. That's the one. Oh my God. Oh my God. Jamie, go to that one, the bigger one, in the left-hand corner, right left-hand corner of that. We'll keep going. No, no, no, back. The one below it to the left, that's it. That's it. That go to that one right there. Look at that. That's so horrifying. Yeah. Go ahead and have some goons. Go ahead and have a baby. What the fuck, man? And that's like a valuable painting. Like someone could have that in their home. Oh, that's this is a goya. It's worth five. No, that painting is billion dollars. Yeah. How much is that worth that goya? You say it's called the official name like death. Saturn devouring his son. A lot of Satan's money out there. I think that was in what's that movie about greed is good. What's that movie uh... about [1:023:06] greed is good what's that called wall street wall street wall street no it's about the original wall street not wall wall the regimen greed is wall street i think you have that in his office my favorite scene in that movie's michael duggers walking down the beach with that brick phone like he was a pimp those brick phones with the shit back then. Oh my god, he's talking to someone. This says his most valuable work was sold for 7.5 and that one would be watching more valuable. Wow, it's more valuable, why don't they sell it? Maybe they don't want to sell it. I've got it at the end. I wonder why, am I the one in that in your house? I have some gois. Do you? Yeah. For real? Yeah, I got the he go talking and print prints. Yeah. Oh, I like. No, no, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. $40 million worth of money. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million. $11 million at it and they have what's called his dark paintings of black paintings I forget but apparently Goyle lost his mind and all these paintings were from in his own house on the walls like [1:024:11] that was painted that wasn't on a canvas that was on his wall that he did by himself he lost his mind he would paint at night with candles on his head oh my god like a shambleer of candles on his head oh my god painted sat. Now that's, I think they've said that this was a legend, but I'm not sure. Whoa. Yeah, I want to believe it. It's awesome. You see those paintings here, like, hold on. It seems like a goat talking to witches. You're like, holding a kid. A guy eating a baby. Yeah. Pretty cool. That seems like something someone who would have a fucking candle Yeah, a chandelier on their head. He was 72 and he moved into the house Some guy took all hacked off and he quotes hacked off all of the murals from the wall and attached them to canvas and they're now in that museum Yeah, wow and he saw them off the wall. He was he saw that'd be even more valuable [1:025:03] Yeah, it's pretty all chunk of his wall to imagine walking into that house What was going where the greatest artist mind well, he saw the he saw like War horrors. Yeah, he saw fucked up the most close combat. Yeah, bullet type war you could get into trench warfare No, no, no, this is this is Napoleonic wars. Oh, that's right This is old Spain where he was all like swords shit can't all like and like atrocities Yeah, yeah, they were killing civilians. They were oh yeah, he drew he drew all of them I mean what does that do to your mind? Yeah, you end up painting a fucking goat. What is it, dude? What if you have a child? Like, what if you come back from war and you have these horrific visions? You see these horrible, horrible things? Do you think any of that gets transferred into your child's bank of memory? I think there's a lot of that going on. [1:026:02] Yeah, there's some studies on that like trauma, generational trauma. Yeah, there's some studies on that like trauma, generational trauma. Yeah. Mccusker was just talking to me about it. Well, it seems real if you think about some things that kids are scared of, right? Like what are kids scared of? They're all scared of monsters. Yeah. Even if they live in a place like snakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's built in. Let's hear a fuck it, psycho. It's built in. Built in. It's like it's in the memory bank somewhere. So it's probably difficult to assert how much, but there's probably some kind of information that gets into someone's cells, the DNA, they're very essence that gets transferred into the kid. It's just wild, because if you have a kid and you experience that, I mean, god damn, those paintings are fucking hard. Those paintings rule. And he started as like a royal paint. Back then they would just like, if you were a good painter at the court, the royal court would like hire you to do portraits and shit. [1:027:01] Until he was just really, and he was like, he was one of the greats. And then, hey, He lost his mind. He just all started getting the Titanic shit Pretty sick that much are you probably believe Satan's 100% real for sure how could it not be me? Watch like Get killed. Yeah, babies get killed when we get slaughtered Look though. I that if we're looking these goias slaughtered. Look though, if we're looking at these goya's fuck, he's got like just war sketches. I forget the name of the collection, but he would just pencil sketch what he saw. And it's like dudes like body parts placed in a tree because the French were trying to send a message. Spain's fucked up, Spain's always been fucked up. Spanish Civil War is cool. What about that story from the Roman Empire? I forget the details of it, but they put people on stakes like every hundred yards for like seven miles. Something fucking insane like that. [1:028:02] Yeah, they would crucify people like that. They would crucify. But they did it for like, minus. Yeah, yeah. So as you're on your way, you're like, all right, don't steal. This is what you're gonna have to deal with if you fuck off. I don't think it's a steel thing. I think it's an army thing. Roman's crucified 6,000 people along a 120 miles stretch of road between Rome and Kapua Kapua. People were traveling for days along a major trade route seeing a new person crucified every 100 feet, 100 feet, not 100 yards, sorry. 100 feet, oh, it's just a thousand people. Dude. Dude. But you know, that's like the origins of the dragon. Was it Spartacus? The Gladiator War, the War of Spartacus. Yeah. Yeah. Last, a series of slave rebellions against the Roman Republic known as the Serval Wars. [1:029:00] This third rebellion was the only one that directly threatened the Roman heartland of Italy. It was particularly alarming to Rome because its military seemed powerless to suppress it Wow They killed 6000 and 70 gladiators broke out from the gladiator school Wow They easily defeated the small Roman force sent to recapture them and within two years they had been joined by some sent to recapture them. And within two years, they had been joined by some 120,000 men, women and children. The Abibadi adults of this large group were a surprisingly effective armed force that repeatedly showed they could withstand or defeat the Roman military, from the local companion patrols to the Roman militia and even to trained Roman legions under the consular command. His army of slaves roamed across Italy, raiding estates and towns with relative impunity, sometimes dividing into separate but connected bands with several leaders, including the famous former gladiators Spartacus. Holy shit, dude. [1:030:01] Makes sense, though. You got these dudes fighting with train and how to use swords. And then they you get out they're gonna fuck you up Yeah, they're gonna go wow Wow, that must have been crazy times man crazy times Yes, and back then like you had to like hear someone tell you what was going on over It's always wrong Yeah, it's always wrong. No photos. Yeah, you need to have to look at sketches like this is what mother fuckers sparkers got out He's out goddamn Gonna picture of him think of like the NFL was like right they're not allowed out right and then they're like Right damn And if I was swords How far away from sword fighting on TV? If we have slap fighting, just like one nuclear bomb has to go off and then you can have the ultimate sword fighting championships. I mean, I think a sword to witness a sword fight would be so horrific. Imagine though if like the winner got a hundred million dollars. [1:031:02] Do you know how many trailer park dudes would step in to sword fight for a hundred million dollars. Do you know how many trailer park dudes? What's that? Yeah, they did, they did, they did. To sort of fight for a hundred million dollars? I think after witnessing the first bout, everyone would go, oh no. I think not, I bet them bull riders get involved. I think you never real problem. I think it killed the, the drill. Yeah, oh yeah, they did it when the shit brought us out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The shit brought us already. Yeah. Number one. But this is different. They're wearing armor. But they do beat the fuck out of each other. Yeah. It's pretty wild. But I don't think anybody's dying. And they used to actually wind up doing MMA with each other. Which I would kind of think if you're really good at MMA, I would kind of like fake the sword. Yes, take the shitholex. I would use that fucking, that bitch ass shield that they have and I would rush them. I'd rush them and they just trip this guy, pulls him off and beat him down. So I'm a sword fight that you're saying to say like, is there no MMA allowed? Well, it seems like they're clenching though. They kick each other other. See look you kicked them Yeah, and he's got shin pads on too [1:032:11] Yeah, you got pop in the head with sword look at these neat in the nuts Like you can get away with some stuff in these mountains in the bag. This is awesome. It's pretty wild But they have these kind of fights. It's guys are getting tired too It's guys getting tired too highlight See they go to the ground they go to the ground if you go in the ground like that let go your fucking sword and take his back See this guy's on top this guy knows what he's doing. Oh, he's dropping some fucking shield strikes Don't you like of a sword? They got a guy gave up. Yeah, see good move by too. He like of a sword. That guy gave up. Yeah, see, good move by that guy. Let go of the sword. It's not effective. Guys covered in armor. Yeah. How long before they're not? How long before it's two dudes in their underwear with a samurai sword? One sword that to fight over it? [1:033:00] Wow. Like a opal madrille. Wow, that's one of the wildest things. We can't. They would just get sprinters. Sprinters would be the feet first first to get to the sword. I'm not... I looked at happened before. It's happened in history before. For sure. People fought sword fights. Do you think there's someone out there thinking about fighting a sword fight right now? I think there's tons of different dude right now with a rock and a sword probably Statistically, there's a guy listening to this right now with holding a sword holding sword right now Holding at all our listeners one Guys have a sword How different from fencing is it then right? That's what I'm saying Fencing is just the gentleman's way of poking each other with a sword, but it's still a fucking sword fight man Yeah, but these are just dorks. Fencing might be the fucking lame-ish shit ever. What's hard to do? I don't, it involves a lot of technique. I'm get fucked up. No shit, I'm not saying they're lame because I'm better. I could never do that. [1:034:01] It's just lame to do it. Yeah, well, especially now with all the bullets and everything. Bullets are better than swords. Oh, it's way better. So, it's way better. Yeah. That's what held back the Japanese. You know, the Samarites were like very reluctant to get involved with guns. They're like, come on. This bitch has shit. Yeah. We got arrows already. Fight like a man And that didn't work out so well. No, no they ran into yeah, but they were the first day with the first people to hold off the Mongols The samurai were the first people to hold off the Mongols The Mongols I think you hit with the wave you think they were a little bit of a wave. Yeah, they were unsuccessful though Samurai's fought them off I mean that that is a Why culture yeah a war like island in? successful though, Samaritan's Fautam off. I mean, that is a wild culture. Yeah. A war like island in the Pacific with some of the greatest martial arts inventions of all time coming from this one place. Judo, karate, so much came from that place. [1:035:01] Different styles of karate. Yeah, they got rowdy. Kendo. Japan got rowdy. Yeah, they got rowdy. Yeah, they brought the drip severe. Look at that drip. We got one of those. You see that one that we have? Yes. We have a real one. That's a real one from the agency. Samurai might have the best drip. They had good drip. They looked dope. When I got a piss. Yeah, okay. It's pause right here on the camera. I would like to go back to that. Oh, there was an African samurai in Japan. Of course. I bet he was. She when they wrote that article, within the last three years. Yeah! Back on Samurai. Black Samurai. So, Black Samurai. Yes Yes, you guys this guy's name the man of African origin he came to Japan in the sang Goku period and became a retainer in the household of Oda Nobunaga He was employed by the Japanese and Goku. Oh, I can't even say all that shit. Yeah, try that one. Dayama Oda Dayama no [1:036:00] Bull no Bull no And served as a kos, page or sword bear. He was neither a menial nor an indentured servant, but a retainer who was given a stipend by Nobu Naga. Nobu Naga. So that guy, Nobu Naga, was the most powerful man in Japan. And Yasuke, think is his name. Came over from a group from Italy actually. And spent some time there wanting to go visit that guy and then this is the part I thought was interesting here. It's like a description of their meeting right here. Okay, he appears to be 26 or 27 years old. The blackness of his body is like that of a bull, and he is healthy and of fine physique. Moreover, he has a strength of more than 10 men. The Padres came with him and thanked Lord Nubonaga for his permission to proselytize. Here's the part 2 I want. [1:037:01] Seeing a black man for the first time, refused to believe that his skin color was natural and not applied later and Made him remove his clothes from the belt upwards Veligna no Describes how Nubu Naga thinking that he might have ink on his body made him take off his clothes and wash his body But the more he washed and scrub the darker his skin became Huh but the more he washed and scrubed, the darker his skin became. Huh. And so then he hung out and it says they like he took him around Japan for like a year, hmm, doing feats of strength and stuff that he didn't speak any. He was also giving a short sword. He's given a short sword in the house. He was sometimes made to carry nobunaga, Samas tools. So interesting All right What the fuck were just talking about for this? There was something else in the hand wore fuck no summarize no, I lost it goddamn it. It was interesting though Napoleon no, I'm not gonna find it [1:038:05] No, it's fine rules. I give up. I'm not gonna find it It's in my head somewhere Fuck god damn hate when that happens. Yeah, but when you go off in these tangents. Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, but the NCA stuff. Oh, no, it's not real. Okay. No, that was the fake news. Yeah, it was fake news. But what's real news is the 15 and under... Colleague. Teen destroying the women's national team. Yes. Bro, that's crazy. I got in such a battle over that. So I was doing a comedy festival when that happened in Atlanta. And I was in the green room and I was already out of place. Like I was sitting next to somebody that was describing the benefits of polyamory And I was like drunk. This is a comic club. Yeah, no comedy festival and I was drunk enough to be like Yeah, FC Dow under 15 under 15 boy squad beat the US women's national team in a scrimmage [1:039:02] matches in preparation for Thursday's W us WNT friendly versus Russia. Wow So boy while we're five two sit in there sitting there discussing That's actually a different one Five to two is there was another time they played them and lost like eight one Five to two is there was another time they played them and lost like eight one But regardless so what happened sitting in the screenroom this guy's describing to me how poly the benefits of being polyamorous This is a comic. Yeah, they were all coming. I mean it was comic festival. So we're all yeah, it was open my watch their act I Probably but I was you just starting yeah, yeah, How many years in the comedy were you at this point? Five? Okay. But we're back there and I was like, this was before I knew you weren't allowed to be like, that's dumb. Baaaay! So he's like, polyamory, I was like, that's dumb. You know that's dumb? What you're saying? Like, fucking crazy what you're saying. And then while we're talking this girl walks in, she's got her phone and she's like, [1:040:06] oh, the men seem lost again, but still get paid more than the women. And I was like, well, yeah, they've, more people watch it. Yeah, they're better at soccer. It's as, who's better at their job? They're better. And then that started an argument and she's like, how do you know? And I was like, the slowest worst guy on the men's team would literally be the greatest. What are you talking about? You understand this? She was like, no, you tell me. And then I was like, I'm sure they've scrimmaged at some point. I googled it and it was like, they played the under 15 team and lost to eight. Nothing. And I was like, they did it. And she's like, you fucking. She's mad. She's from truth. What'd she call you? Probably like a, well, I could probably just like a dickhead and then probably when I got canceled, she was like, yeah, I knew that kind of said, dickhead. I don't give a credit. I was probably being a dickhead. [1:041:01] But you probably just she deserved that's nonsense talk, but then that old wide-old the women get paid more I heard that argument even about comics Like shut the fuck up listen if your Taylor Swift You get paid yeah, you get fucking paid There's no guys out there saying why PAYT! There's no guys out there saying why they're not a male Taylor Swift. But there's women out there that will say that about male comics that are killing it. Why don't the women get that much? Why don't people, Polynesian descent get a check like that? Why don't people fucking, why don't people from Iceland getting paid like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's not how it works. Not how it works. Like Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift. Yeah, is it Taylor Swift? Obviously, being a woman is not holding her back in the slightest. I think those are the two acts of the Swift and Beyonce. The biggest action in the world. I don't think anyone comes close. [1:042:00] No one comes close to us with Tells me I say does she does I say I bet it I bet she does both of them. Yeah, let's say both of them They're selling out Stay mediums. Yeah fucking arena arena. They would have to do it like a comedy club They'd have to treat in a arena. They have to treat the T-Mobile Center in Vegas like a comedy club Well, yeah, if it shows tonight Tuesday and two Thursday, she'd have to do a decade for real She would have to do a decade. She literally doesn't this not it's not possible to have enough tickets for all the people that want to see her yeah Is there a male act that's even close no no Kanye probably before all that shit went down. I don't think he was not that big No, but she wasn't that big back then either, right? Yeah. But he made that bitch famous. Oh my god, he did. He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up. No, he did. He rules. He does rule. He does rule. He says a lot of wild shit Hope so well now I bet his new album is gonna be a [1:043:11] Banger yeah, he pushed that dude, but he pushed that dude in a corner. I bet he comes out swinging I bet I bet this new shit is a bang. Yeah, he's the best isn't he in like Saudi Arabia or something recording it he was I know he was definitely in Italy getting his dick sucked on a boat for a little He was definitely in Italy getting his dick sucked on a boat for a little little bit and then but then he was in Japan or Recording at least part of it. I mean, I'm a little Sussuke or whatever that guy's name. I think he's in Japan make sense It's crazy though like they they a deed has lost billions of dollars to not be in business with them And didn't they take it back? Nope. Nope. They just sold their remaining stock. I'm pretty sure. I don't think they went back to business together. I think when you lose money like that, you go, are bad. But that is a rough look for Adidas. It's a rough look for everybody, but Adidas was literally founded by Nazis. Yeah, that's what I mean. They got me like no we got no [1:044:12] You know that was this is now we are not those people imagine being the fucking CEO of a D just seeing that clip I didn't just like I love Hitler. Oh He was trying to say loves everybody right? Yeah, I think that was the message, but boy It got a little murky. He gets murky. He gets a little murky all the time Do you remember that time he sat down in the oval office with Trump and he was just rattling off like craziness and Trump's like this thing? Trump is so smart with that stuff. He just lets people go. Yeah, he lets people go with other people would shut the fuck up Of Chris Christie was in there saying all that nonsense like what are you talking about? Yeah, yeah But with Kanye, he's like, I ain't, guys on my side. Let him go. Let him go. I mean, we can talk Kanye, I love Kanye. I love Kanye. Kanye had probably my favorite music video is him and Lil Pump. You're such a fucking hoe. [1:045:02] I love it. Mm, that love it. It's a very funny. It's crazy. It's dumbass suits. They're just having fun. Then they did it live on SNL. Let me hear this. Oh, her sister, I don't know. Is that, she's a comic. That lady? Yeah. I think he did with that song, where he's just making a bunch of noise, was pretty funny. Skibbini Bob Poop. Yeah. Skibbini. You know the story behind this? Yeah, with him and Drake. It's supposed to be a Drake song. Yeah. And Drake wanted it in Kanye's. I was like, yeah, I guess Nope. So he made a beat in a great song for Drake and then he released it a couple days later of just him going like Skippity-bop poop. Skipp-bop poop. He just ruined it. He just ruined the whole track. Yeah, we we played this one song in the green room We really want to get things popping. I'm going to jail song trying to find a Chamel Center [1:046:03] Oh, I know this song. Yeah, you know that song. Guess who's going to jail song trying to find a Chamel Senate. Oh, I know some. Yeah, you know that song Guess who's going to jail today? Yeah, damn that song rocks Yeah, jail. Let's just call jail. This is it This is one of them green room songs. It's fun. Fuck yeah, here's this here in Yago wild This is one of them green room songs. It's fun. Fuck yeah. Here in this. Here in Yego Wild. Come on. It's a bad mother fucker man. I mean, you gotta let a guy like this get out of line every now and again. Yeah. He's that's what makes him so brilliant. He's got a tornado going on his mind. Is it tornado in there? And then he give him time. Bro, when he was doing the podcast, when he was doing the podcast, unfortunately Jamie got COVID. So he couldn't be here for it, post it. But you know what he wanted to do? What Kanye wanted to do, [1:047:01] he didn't like my set. Was my old set keep it going? I found it. He didn't like my set. Is my old set keep it going? I've found it. He didn't like my old set. So he wanted to build a set, do the podcast. Oh this set. I thought you were talking about a standup. I was like, God damn. No, I wanted to build a set. Yeah. So I said, what do you want to do? Like we're on FaceTime. I go, what do go. I go, let's do it. No problem. Let's do it. Okay, build a womb. And so that was the plan. And then Jamie got COVID. Fucked it all up. Jamie. And then I told him, I got a list of my producer got COVID. Do you mind just doing it at my studios? I get someone to come in and sub form. Red band came in and sub form. It's like really the womb thing. You don't think I would have gone? There's COVID keeping me out of there. Yeah it's just COVID and it was back when COVID was actually COVID. We worried that Jamie was going to die. Yeah, everyone thought I was going to die. I was stuck in a room for a week. Yeah, it wasn't allowed to have contact with people. Yeah, yeah. The rough days, the dark days. I was in New York with roommates with male roommates [1:048:06] Oh, I got COVID and they didn't have it and they were just like terrified of you. No, no, they didn't give a fuck Real Chris and Tommy Tommy you know Chris and Tommy wow people they were literally like yeah, I don't care We stayed in the same apartment the entire time and they haven't got it no one got it. That's crazy. Yeah, how much did you guys make out? We started making out again Yeah, my whole family got it and I didn't get it, but I felt it I was working out and when I was working out I was like I'm fighting something off 100%. I could feel it. I was doing my kettlebell routine and I was like ooh so I switched to 35 pounds and I said I'm just gonna do one set of each movement. Keep the egg out dude this is art this is literally art. We're talking about COVID kettlebells and playing yay. Come on, let's go [1:049:14] He made a song Kanye made a song with Andre 3000 Fuck I forget the name of this is Jay Z. No, this is Jay. Yeah He also made a song with Paul McCartney like Didn't tell him Didn't tell him I don't think he knew Paul McCarty didn't know I don't think he was gonna use it as a song. Yeah What do you do the recording? I just don't think that they I don't know the full story but Can he come back like bloodline? Yes, yeah, yeah, he could take one album. Yeah, I think everybody's already back like well also what better time to be mad at Jews [1:050:01] Tril, no joke or beyond You're making a good point I I mean cuz he's gonna jail tonight culturally What's the song what's the song you made with Andre 3000? This fucking song this is Chris is an amazing song the one he he made with Andre 3000, it's literally like a life of the party. Life of the party is like, it's actually like a, I don't know what's sound. Two gay, it's like genuinely beautiful. It starts out with like, I think it might end with DMX talking to his kid. Jamie, do me a favor, play the glory. Break Kanye the glory. Now we're playing. Now we're doing a podcast. Yeah, let's go drinking Playing music listen to this one. This is another one. I got in the green room Then Tayyid that's just Can I talk my shit again? Oh my god, it's a good one. Mmm. [1:051:13] I mean, think of... Think of... Art Kelly, think of Michael Jackson. What they've been forgiving for, because of how great their music was. I don't think Art Kelly's been forgiven. He's in jail, currently. I'm not talking legally. I'm talking all Kelly rules. Well, he rules in our green room. Yeah, that's all he does. Just all Kelly. You hit one time. It's not I, no. You get it. Real talk came on. Real talk. Fuck it. We were dancing. We started dancing. No, you started dancing no you started dancing it was fucking just right after me I would have right after what you You started dancing the real talk Yeah, we talking to who is it big I said the club what we can't No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I said a club with who? I said a club with who? Get the fuck out of here. [1:052:26] Oh! Girl I'm not about to sit up here and argue with you about who's the blame A car no names real talk The only thing I'm trying to establish with you is not who's right or who's wrong But what's wrong? What's wrong? Real talk Just because your friend says she saw me at a club with some other bitches But what's right? What's wrong? Real talk All Midwest is he all Midwest all these guys are Midwest this is Chicago. Yeah Chicago MJ's Indiana [1:053:01] Midwest Richard prior. Yeah Get your prize Which are prior yeah Gave him his prioria It produces some wild bro Oh, where? Chief Keith Where was Kinnison wild bro? Where was Kinnison born? Midwest might rule Yakima Washington Really? Damn That place sucks I tell you no fucking We're in a Jeff can't decide I don't know maybe Yakima wide. I'm sorry Yakima. Maybe you guys were awesome. I'm just fucking around That's a guy that I hear his family was fucking Illinois Chicago East Peoria That's why I thought that East Peoria was like that that's why because it's the same area fucking prior Can't get from man they produce them insane easy so he was how old when you move there three months old okay, yeah, that's like I Mean I kind of claimed Boston I moved there tall 13. Yeah [1:054:02] I Can't fill him I move there was like 28 Where are you born? Harrisburg. Oh, that's kind of mechanic spirit. My parents used to live there. I told you that. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. You're paying something. Fucking Harrisburg. Yeah. Do they like it? Harrisburg is nice. It's not, you know, it's rural. Through my island costs us a lot of people. They do it. People left It's not, you know, it's rural. Through my island cost us a lot of people. They did people left. Through my islands in that area. I didn't know that. Yeah, through my islands, where I'm from. I thought, why did I think three mile islands in like Long Island or something? Makes sense, Long Island. Yeah, I don't think I ever knew where it is. So through my island, I always went to the middle town pencil vania But it's Harrisburg bro Pennsylvania in my head doing stand-up in Pennsylvania is Can't expert going the map dude makes me happy my memory of how I got into conspiracy theories was what was in [1:055:00] Pennsylvania when I was on the road dude dude a friend of mine was buddies with his dude who was in a band and we were all out. It was talking, he started talking to me, telling me about the JFK assassination. I'm like, so what really happened? He goes, dude, there's this book. I'm gonna give you the book. I just finished this. Crossfire? No, best evidence. David lifted. So I was reading this book in my fucking hotel room before the show was like, oh no That's crazy fucking killed the president. You look into that The like the smallest amount if you look into that you go. Oh, oh 100% they killed them. Yeah, there's no way the people to say Lee Harvey also acted alone. First of all It doesn't even make sense from an evidence perspective when you look at the bullet. It doesn't make sense in any way. The whole reason why they need to attribute all these different shots to one bullet. The back into the left. There's so much wrong with it. The whole thing. Everything's wrong with it. [1:056:02] But that is a crazy story. The fact that it was released on television because of a comic. Oh, Dick Gregory. Dick Gregory. Stand up comic. He got this as a prudertil. He got all this as a prudertil. Oh, that's it. And played on the fucking heraldor Rivera show and played it 12 years after the assassination. That's what's nuts, man. It was on TV in 75. Imagine some shit that went down in like, you know, 2011. Yeah. 2001. So I'm just like, I imagine that. Yeah. Oh, that's some shit that did go down. Can you imagine if we got some footage out of that? I'd be like, one of you guys having it. They're like, Yo, yeah, one of us got the tower seven clips I'm like oh my god, but he's got a guy in there going like this Yeah, right that yeah, if you do any that's the one that's what everybody talks shit on [1:057:04] conspiracy theories and I get it. They shouldn't. Yeah, but there's, I saw a clip of a, like you and Eddie Bravo talking about Flat Earth. Mm-hmm. Like that's your argument there was like, this is the type of conspiracy that fucks up the other conspiracies. I believe that. I don't, I'll take it a step further. Yeah. I don't I'll take it a step further. Yeah, I think the reason why those things are so prevalent is not because they're enticing I think people put them out there purpose way to make other conspiracy theories seem stupid and it can give you enough fake evidence and enough like really eloquent people describing these things and why they're trying to hide this from you Yeah, and then they always attach it to religion. You know flat earth is always attached to religion really? Yeah, it's not atheist people that believe in flat earth for the most part I'm sure there's a few other to do yeah, but for the most part they believe that there's a firmament above earth as described [1:058:00] Oh, yes, yeah, they don't believe in space. Is it an outer space water then? It's all just bullshit. I mean, I guess that explains rain. I swear, what the fuck is that? But I go up there is water. Yeah, I don't know how they explain the lights. What do they think galaxies are? And what a telescope see? A telescope's bullshit too? Yeah, water. I knew it was water. Yeah, or telescope's bullshit too? Yeah, water, I knew it wasn't water. Yeah, so there's a great deep below. There's the pillars of the earth, and there's a firmament, and then the earth is flat, and then this bald stuff is all just bullshit. Chambres and heavens. Oh, per sees, they think it's like a disc. I think that's how to describe it as a disc. Well, this is the first that what I have here was the like the Bible firm out from Wikipedia So then there's like the bringing in the fire. Yeah, so earth is flat. So this is what they think it is That's what they think it is the Bible firmament makes it again if you're like what the fuck is rain? Because that would that would rock me. I mean we have a real problem in that a lot of [1:059:04] these religious texts, they're describing things that we now have science for. There's a real problem with that, like everything, including procreation. We actually know what's happening now. We can watch this sperm get in the egg. We know we have photos of other planets. We have like really good photos of the moon. We have super good photos of Mars. We got a thing on Mars. It's a robot. We got satellites that are flying around Mars. Imagine not knowing what sex did. You're like, I really want to do it. And then all of a sudden a kid comes out, occasionally a kid comes out. You'd be like, this is. And how'd that happen that happened Well if you go way way way back They probably had no they probably had no idea it was dogs do it like oh that's done Well people always did it just like the grills of the zoo of course But I'm saying like you wouldn't be able to explain anything rain rain would be oh [2:0:03] Yeah, you'd be there must be water up there. How about lightning? How about people dying from lightning? Fucking hit by lightning, you'd be like, oh, magic is real. Imagine you're living 50,000 years ago and your friend gets killed by lightning in front of you? Like, magic is real. I was watching this dude get fucked up in a parking lot the other day. This guy was not real life on video. It was another Instagram thing that I keep getting said. I think Cigar might have sent me this one too. So I'm dude is walking in this parking lot and he just gets fucking nailed. Just the finger of the god. Just, shh. Thor himself. I mean, it's just as scary as like a demon taking. Yeah, yeah. It's just as scary as like a demon taking. Yeah, yeah. It's just as scary. But if you don't survive, I'll take it. That's a good out. Right, struck by lightning. Yeah, that's a good out. It's a good way to go. If you don't survive. If you don't survive, that blows. There's a guy who survived like seven. Yeah, it's like the most like tricky guy of all time. My friend, Remi got nailed. You know a guy that got struck by that? [2:1:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah, when he was a kid. I told the story on the podcast, I'm pretty sure. I'm trying to remember how old he was when it went down. But he was a kid. I know that for sure. And he was, I think he went deaf for a little while. At least in one ear, he was really fucked up. He said he didn't understand what happened when he woke up. You know, he woke up, there's no one around. He just got nailed by lightning. People do live, like quite a few people live, but quite a few people don't. Just imagine if you had no idea what electrical stuff. I think if it strikes something new to you, you live. If it's like a direct strike. You know, you can get hit and live. People have gotten hit and lived. Yeah, believe it or not. But there's different kinds of lightning strikes, right? There's lightning strikes that split trees in that. If you get hit one of those bitches, you're fucked. You're exploding. You know, you see them branches in the sky, [2:2:01] like some of our fucking that you get it extreme explode on a golf course do you know that that's what uh... they used to think that rain was it was god jizzing on the earth yeah that's an in in the uh... in the dead c scrolls i mean they're kind of kind of right does bring life yeah that's what they thought it was they kind of still correct if they were just figuring out that if you or well, first of all, they were just learning how to write things down, right? And they're just figuring out that you've orgasm inside of a woman, she can get pregnant. They're just figuring this out. Yeah. So they probably would see rain come down and they realize that all these things would grow out of the rain. That's come. Yeah, it's God coming on the earth. And they figured that's how God. Now, out there just trying to... Ew, dude. I mean, God gives all life with His come. I don't think they thought come was bad back then. They probably thought it was like super valuable. But there's literally a book based on [2:3:00] some of the things that they think from this. It's called the Sacred Mushroom in the Cross. It's about this guy named John Marco Allegro who was a, he was an ordained minister, but he became agnostic as he started studying theology. And then he was one of the people that was, he was sent to decipher the Dead Sea Scrolls, which is like the old, the oldest verb, Cypher the Dead Sea Scrolls, which is like the old, the oldest bird. You're fucking buttlight. Give me a 10, 10, 10, 10, 10. That's right. Don't, don't you dare, don't you dare put that on the. So this dude, one of the things that he came up with at the end of this 14 year deciphering of the Dead Sea Scrolls was he thinks that Christ was an ancient Sumerian word. He traced it back to the roots of an ancient Sumerian word, which meant a mushroom covered in God's semen. So apparently they had a word that for a mushroom and they thought that when God came on the earth and the mushrooms [2:4:05] raised up, when you eat the mushrooms and trip your balls your experiencing god which makes sense yeah totally make sense if you live in fifty thousand years ago and you find today yeah you find some magic mushrooms yeah yeah you start chomping on them and the next thing you know you like the universe opens up as all its secrets to you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I don't need enlightenment. But with that was it. That was it. This is what you're scared of. You're just scared of sucking a dick. Don't be scared. Don't you want to be enlightened? Or do you want to just live this life over and over and over and over again and again, right? Wait, whoa, what is enlightenment? What is that entail? Freedom. Complete freedom of mind. Being connected to the God source. Being being one with the universe always happy always feel with love [2:5:06] understanding it getting the big picture well literally you know where to get there is your stuff got off imagine that was the thing that sounds stupid right but God tried to test a guy in the Bible to kill his kid yeah you don't think God would like get you right to the point where you're at the tip and it goes psych? Yeah, you don't have to pull. You don't have to pull me. You're not the ball, me. You were gonna do it. You put me in loser's sock. You almost sucked my dick. Why'd you make me? You really think that if God would have you, sucky I can have anybody suck my dick. I'm God. Why would I want to get this fucking stand up comedian to suck my dick? Damn, that is a philosophical question. It is if you think about what God God, but what if if you think about what God forced people to do in the Bible? You know, I mean who are the two brothers or the father in the son? Who is the father in the son, brother? That he was it. Oh, that was Abraham and [2:6:06] Yeah, I don't What was that kid's name? I don't know, I'm not a pussy's name. There's something. I'm magic. Jacob, one lady. Isaac, fuck. Imagine one lady eats an apple. And he's like, I'm done with you people. I'm done with the whole race forever. No more love, no more eating, no more beautiful, perfect world because one person ate an apple. Do you think it's ridiculous that that same God would want you to suck his dick? No. Sounds like a crazy guy. Yeah, that God's, that God's. But he wouldn't actually let you do it. He just said, he would want you to beg for it and then he'd go, no oh? Carvazia what is he doing here? depiction. Oh Abraham. Oh, it was Abraham about to kill his son Angel telling him to stop. Give me credit on that Carvazia an angel told him to stop wow Come on clearly that's probably if that really did happen [2:7:02] Clearly schizophrenia, right? Like one of the earliest exams. I mean come on. It's schizophrenia. It can't be literally every homostude in Central Park Exactly. Don't be a fucking do this. I mean why is a sheep herder with a fucking stone knife Wild times man. I mean who knows what really happened that was the original version of these stories damn is that that kids dick sticking out? Now what do you want to kill him is fucking you Got such a cock Dude, I mean what were the original stories That's what's crazy about any religious doctrine. I mean, the Mormons, the best example of it, right? Cause they know who wrote it. But when you have these religious doctrines, I like the Mormons, they're good bros. They're the nicest people. They do kind of rule. They kind of rule. But boy, I'm not certain about a lot of people being wrong. [2:8:05] That one seems so. As the kids say today. That's so so. So sus. A 14 year old boy in 1820 found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus. And only he could read it because he had a magic rock, a seer stone, if you will. And so when the townspeople came to find these magic tablets, the fucking angels took away. Anybody but you, Joseph. You imagine Joseph. No liar and top man. No way this works. Who's probably schizophrenic too? I mean, if your schizophrenic 14-year-old 19-20 and you really care is mad, you probably convince a lot of people of a lot of stupid shit. Schizophrenic wearing a top hat and like a tall coat, I believe him. And brown back then, you could trick people. This is snake oil salesman. They pull up in the, you know, this concura all ails tuberculosis. Yeah, he's like, oh, thank God. You remember that in the outlawed Josie Wales he spits on the hills. How's it with tobacco juice? [2:9:10] No, you never seen that scene. Oh, I don't think that's great. It's great scene. Find that Jamie Outlawed Josie Wales and the snake oil salesman Outlawed Josie Wales fucking rules. Is that is that Clint Eastwood? Oh, yeah Is that Clint Eastwood you've never seen the outlawed Josie Wales and you've seen all quiet on the Western front, bro. How? I'll watch that. You watch that. I will watch it. I'll watch it. I just gotta watch it on a day where I don't have anything else to do but be depressed. You can be sad. I get so sad. You're gonna go, I can't believe people did this. Dude, looking the gas mass sound was like auto dick so it was like fuck man what did that guy see so he was a confederate soldier and they were after him this is the end of the war [2:010:02] and so this guy is gonna turn him in because he's like everybody knows who he is and they figured out who he is and he's worth a lot of money and so that guy is singing Dixie but as soon as he goes the other way he's gonna be singing the union army song. Oh that's what he just spit on him. Here I'm sorry I've talked over it works Here is it This is it one dollar bottle it works wonders on wounds Which one isn't just about everything they can do most anything That dude that he's with is a kid who winds up getting shot and killed what the fuck I was watching is a good movie man, but there's a scene where he was hiding underneath his blanket and he was pretending that he's sick and these people these robbers came up and [2:011:00] he shot these dudes and after he said to outlaw Josie was because we whipped him again Josie who whipped him again I used to say that all the time. I was getting engaged who up again Josie who whipped him again It's I it's funny. You say that I say that At the end of this Jesus Christ The end of the battle of Shiloh They were asking you listen to grant because they the battle of Shiloh, they were asking, you list these grante, cause they got rocks on the first day. And they were like, they gave us hell today and he goes, yeah, we'll lick them tomorrow. That's not good. Great rules. I imagine that was a thing that meant you kick someone's ass lick them, we'll lick them. How did that happen? My dad still says bitch. Like he's a bitch. Somebody's like tough. Oh. He's a bitch. Brilliant. He genuinely says that all the time. Oh, it went the other way. Yeah. So it's, it's, I don't know if that's older just what they said. Right. In the creek in McCannock's room. [2:012:00] Hmm. Like, he's a bitch. Yeah, why don't you? Like a bitch of a time. A bitch of a time, yeah. Yeah, but like, he know, he might, God would have to be so tough that you knew what he was saying. Yeah. Or you're crazy. You can be one of those guys who wants to fight my Tyson. Fuck him, I see my, it's on, on tight. You're not man enough to do my will. Fuck you too, you love me. Bro, that might be the number one's, Carious. I just have a bit about that. I was like, do you know how long that would take? He would have to fuck you for years. And you would have to trust you that you loved him. Yeah. You'd have to decide. It's Stockholm's Pac-Home Syndrome. Oh, you're lying. Get back in there. But that is a case of a guy who thinks he's protected by laws, getting out of line and insulting one of the greatest boxers of all time. Yeah. You're just insulting him saying he should be in a straight jacket. [2:013:00] How about shut your mouth and write things down? Yeah. Don't provoke that guy. Are you fucking crazy? You see that guy? He just bit Lennox Lewis. You don't think he'll punch you? This is a Reddit post from Scoop Mal and Alski who was the reporter who did that quote. Nine years ago. Oh, that's the guy. You were trying to figure out who he was. I found out the other day, but if you guys were still far along, I didn't want to bring it back up. But since you did now, nine years ago, he wrote this. We've talked about this before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talk about it all the time. I want to know who this guy is because like it's so crazy. You're having that guy screaming at crown. First I booed him from row seven. He did not like that and he shot me a glare. Then we turned his back, I yelled, put him in a straight jacket. That's when all hell broke loose. For the first two to three seconds I almost had a heart attack, LOL, but then I froze and we just looked each other in the eye for about a minute as he did his tirade. [2:014:07] I kept my cool which seems to fluster him at the end as he became embarrassed and even seemed to have tears in his eyes. It was a bad period in his life. He knew he was going to lose to Lewis and despite the $30 million payday he was still going to be in debt as his purse was going to all his creditors. His second wife was also divorcing him. So it was a rock bottom time for Tyson. This is like, this guy's like psychological examining Tyson's. Yeah, he's since turned his life around, become a positive example. Actually, I dinner with him after the memorial for our mutual friend and the artist, Leroy Nieman, a couple couple years ago. Oh, that's interesting. Had ringside lounge in Jersey City and Jersey, we even did an interview about tennis. He said, Navatorolova is the greatest not serena. We also spent time together at the New Jersey block. This is also random. I also attended two of his undisputed truth shows [2:015:00] on the Broadway, on Broadway, at the invite of a mutual friend, Mario Costa. Mike is at peace now and in a great place, he's very busy involved in many projects. I'm happy to say it looks like we ultimately be a happy ending, not a tragic one for Mike Tyson when the day comes, decades down the road. Thanks for asking. That's a good pussy for that guy. But also, he's a journalist. Okay, so most journalists should ever be right. Right. He was wrong. It's like you yelled, he was put him in a straight jacket. Right. He definitely did provoke. And if that guy made eye contact with Mike while he was yelling at for a minute, no. Yeah, but this, listen, this is going to the same dinner. No, he was just in the room. Maybe they had to. If Mike know who he was. No, no, no, no, I bet Mike forgave him. I guarantee you my time story on it too. That talks about it. Says writer lost his head seeing Tyson's antics. Mark Malinowski calls himself Scoop his signature apparel and anarchism. Anachronism, a fedora with a press card affixed to its side. [2:016:03] On Tuesday, Malinowski, 35, a freelance writer of self-sindicated feature called BioFiles, watch Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis Brawl on stage in the Hudson Theater Manhattan. Okay, when Tyson emerged from the scrum, Malowski booed him. Yeah, it's pretty much explained more than a half. Okay, this is just from 2000. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Well, they're for the people now he was wearing a fedora with a Thing that's at press in the side. Yeah, and his in his little icon this guy's a fucking dork Probably yeah, but no I'm not ready to tell you don't worse than look. I was a comedian. I'm made enough. Malinowski Yeah, that's a problem Well, you know, you just don't fucking, when a guy just gets in the middle of a brawl, and you're gonna taunt him? Yeah. Put him in a straight jacket. Also, that sucks. Like that, like, if you go back and say something more clever, wouldn't you? [2:017:00] I think that's him with his fur d'ora. Oh, okay. Okay. He's talking to Triple G. That's super out of a cartoon though. So he's still out there. So he's still out there. I think that's him, yeah. Okay. I wonder if he became notorious. There's him in Thai society. Oh, nice. Look at that. Dude, Mike's a nice fucking guy, dude. He really is he's a real nice guy. He's sweetheart. He's a sweetheart Put him in a straight jacket and then he comes back with a fucking but I believe now I know I fucking Stray jacket you can stand you can live a minute in my world. Yeah. Oh my god. It was amazing Drop death bombs four or five of them. It was great. It was actually one of the was pure It was the scariest you're talking about. The scariest. Cause real. Cause he could do it. You don't fucking... White pussy. Yeah, but it's a goddamn thing to say about it. He's just gonna do whatever he wants. Imagine wearing that fedora and saying that to Mike Tyson. He thought I'd been a striped jacket. I've been getting hit with I'm gonna fuck you till you love me. Yeah, there's the [2:018:05] We talked about this the other day he got fined like hundreds of thousands of dollars for biting that Lewis look how good he looked back then physically I like how this guy's got his arm. His arm is jacket. He's covering up Tyson's dick All right, this guy covers up. I can take an easy champ. What's all he Tyson's dick. Watch how this guy covers up Tyson's dick. Take it easy champ. Watch how he does it. No one needs to see this, Michael. Michael we're gonna hide that. Imagine everyone already saw it. You can't, if that guy holds his jacket that is that like an racing machine like from fucking men in the like. I just saw him grab his dick. No he wasn't doing that he was grabbing his dick. He wasn't just fighting right it wasn't just biting Lennox Lewis in the thigh Damn Damn Crazy that was like the first Tyson fight I ever watched really yeah, oh, I was too young for all of his Everything he did I saw Tyson Lewis Lewis was a bad man. Yeah, he was a bad man [2:019:05] I saw Tyson Lewis Lewis was a bad man. Yeah, he was a bad man He's an interesting guy too plays a lot of chess really that's what he does now. It's kind of chills and plays chess That's cool you put that British accent on anyone I don't that makes him look cool and they're like wait No, no when it comes to fighting like no way really to me if they have a British accent back in the 80s That was the case. Like think of like a Frank Bruno. Think of Leon. Leon Edwards. Yeah, you hear that accent? Everybody tell every single comment about him. It's like he's such a nice guy. Ah, when he wins the fight he's like, headshot bang fuck you. Yeah, well it was a little fired up. Yeah. I mean, he was losing to the number one pound for a pound guy in the world. That, then he headshot kicked him. I mean, that shit was magic. Video makes material. The trainer made me tear up. The trainer saying it, dude. He's like, you gotta pull this out of the eye. Well, he was saying it made me tear up. Yeah. Interviewing him made me tear up. That, It's like the coolest, that interview of him getting... Oh my God. You just get to witness a guy being the happiest dude on earth. [2:020:06] The happiest. That anybody could ever be. Yeah. My other favorite one is Style Bender after he knocked out Poleton. Look at me now. Look at this. Oh, the pound! Action, dead! Headshot. We are on. We're the moment to fight. Coming into the fifth round you were behind on the scores Where the moments when you were doubting I know I know it doesn't matter on the trenches our Bill like this I'll go to the to the palace done. That's it. We're going to trenches. I've been down the whole life now I've been down the whole night, now we're kept in hell. I want you to see something. Look up at the big screen. Check out your team in Birmingham when they watch you win. I mean, those guys must've been sad watching that. So sad during the whole fight? Oh yeah, here's the moment. This is my favorite. [2:021:07] Pound for pound one. Pound for pound one. There is no pound for pound. The belt belongs to nobody. That's it. Brought, that's the profound shit right there. There is no pound for pound. The belt belongs to nobody. After he just won it. Yeah. That's when it's real. I mean, he just won it in the most spectacular manner possible. The greatest way to win a fight by far is a head kick knockout. There is no wilder thing to see. And for him to land that in the fifth round of a fight that he was losing and then say, there is no pound for pound. The belt belongs to nobody. Yeah. It's like Christ like it. It's heavy, but it's crazy. Because that guy is in the most elevated state of understanding what winning is all about ever. There's no higher level. He beats the best pound for pound fighter in the world, [2:022:01] becomes the UFC well-to-weight champ. In a fight he was losing. Yeah. And head kick some boom and walks off He's When he had to find the actual head kick is when he had kicked him He doesn't even think about following up watch this Just walked off there it is come on man we've probably done this a thousand times can you get the trainer speech? that guy's in the rocky music he's in a separate dimension when that happens like his fucking spirit transcends listen stop it there's one His fucking spirit transcends There's one there's one this is video that this is it You can get it They probably pulled the Rocky music off a YouTube [2:023:02] Oh There is the oh yeah, this is so good. This is the one Come on Don't let a bullies down nice Come on Look at tired I mean if you're not drinking beer watching this video, you're not living, dude. [2:024:09] How great is that coach? It is awesome. So it's joyful. The fact that the new game is rocky. Yeah. And then the fact that this is like literally one of the most spectacular victories in the history of the sport. Holy shit. I watch, I fall down the same rabbit hole every time I watch you see I watch Connor Nate one. Then I watch Nate Leon Nate Leon's like my favorite. It's great. Bye. It's so funny. It's great Fight We start to hit him when Nate starts hitting him when Nate cracked him and rock them. Nate points out him I couldn't believe it. Yeah, cuz it was losing that fight. Oh, yeah I mean Leon was doing like moves. Yeah, he was doing like spinning elbows to the head. Yeah, Nate all Nate would give him was like a [2:025:05] Oh that one worked. Yeah. He was doing like spinning elbows to the head. Yeah. Nate. All Nate would give him as like a... Oh, that one worked. Yeah. That's it. That left hand was perfect. Then he started to run and from him. What? When Leon inflicts him off. He almost had runs. He almost had to do. Did he almost had him? Nate literally almost had him. I mean, there's multiple moments in this fight where Leon's in so much trouble after that punch that he could have K-O'd. The multiple moments, I mean he's in the fire right here. Yeah his legs don't work. And Nate almost clipped him with the same one too. I Mean he's literally running away from him And he just looked at the clock and you got clip of the right hook I mean The Nate always has the wildest cardio his card him and his brother had the best cardio [2:026:04] I watched brother brother his brother I was too strike force. Oh my god, dude You want to see some wild shit. I've watched I've watched Nick verse Anderson That's awesome. Yeah, that's great. He's like fucking with Anderson. Yeah, but you've naps on the ground That's great, but you got to go back to Paul Daly versus Nick Diaz. You want to see a wild fight? Nick Diaz was the fucking man. Dude, he had the most ridiculous cardio. And Paul Daly was one of the scariest strikers it's ever fought in the sport. Paul Daly has like a nuclear left hand. He's like, he just took this is Frank Sharmack. He beat the fucking Frank Sharmack in his fight and he kept talking shit to him the whole time. Dude Nick Diaz was the man and he had insane cardio. The thing that he had over everybody was that first of all he didn't give a fuck if you hit him. He wasn't worried [2:027:01] about getting hit at all which is crazy. But on top of that, this motherfucker swam back and forth from Alcatraz. He swam back from Alcatraz five times. He's got insane cardio. Like does triathlons for funsies? No. Yes. No, I mean that. Play now! So Rob's gonna make some ways through caution to the wind and just get it out the knockdown. No, I mean that So he would get hit by these guys who would swarm them but eventually he would start putting it on him He's he just never got tired dude He just never got tired and he didn't give up like his styles like fucking you just starts beating so fun look bro look how he rips to the body I mean Nate's great but Nick was the real star of the family he just never got to the UFC while he was in this state if he was a UFC champion while he was in [2:028:01] this form because he was in a form during strike force where he was fucking up everybody and not just knocking them out, beating them up like this fight right here. Go to the Frank Shamrock fight. The Frank Shamrock fight, like Frank Shamrock was a fucking legend man. Frank was a legend. And he's he submitted it a lot of guys too. That's the other thing about Nick. Like Nick had a fucking nasty guard. I's he submitted a lot of guys to that's the other thing about nick like nick had a fucking nasty guard i believe he submitted cyborg with an arm bar he was just a killer man just a real killer and the thing is it's like he would keep talking shit to you and keep punching you and you're getting tired and he stays on you and he just don't get any breathing room look at them constantly constantly staying on you and you gotta realize how how good Frank Shamrock was in his prime Because Frank was like the original mixed martial artists original complete mixed martial artists and here Nick just beating him down It's like a true changing of the guard Like Nick could just fucking like gave him had no chance [2:029:03] He didn't present any problems to Nick, which is just wild to think that a guy could do that to a guy like Frank Shama. That's how good Nick Diaz was when he was in his prime. He was just doing that over in strike force. And the problem was the audience was just quite a bit smaller. The Diaz, this is him first. First people are so funny in this sport. It's such a crazy Sport and then there's a dude out there like Flicking you off and this guy was a date. This is got Smith. It's got a dangerous fucking striker super dangerous Knocked a lot of people out. Knock one of my friends out. He this guy was a fucking killer and it just beat He knocks one of your friends out. He knocked one of my friends out You guys just haven't found no they, they were, they were in the UFC fight. Oh. But this guy was super dangerous. Like, this is another guy that just had just ridiculous knockout power and just tough as shit. But you're just dealing with a guy in Nick that literally never got tired, was his game as they came. [2:030:03] Didn't, didn't give a fuck. Just in there having fun. Dude, he had one of his fights overturned because he was literally high while he was fighting. So he had the go me fight? So they said no? They overturned because it was invasives. They did something, like the overturned decision because he was a test positive for weeds. He's a fucking high as a kid. That's it. That's how they're having a good UFC. If I could help you in a fight, I bet it would. I mean, maybe for them, but I'm saying it's not like a. Find Nick Diaz so good. Nick Diaz, I think it was Gomi. I think it was Takenori Gomi that he submitted. Pretty sure it was Gomi. Because Gomi was a super dangerous guy from Japan who was a baseball player that converted into fighting and he would throw a right hand literally like a fucking fastball man. It was crazy. Yeah, so Nick is putting it on, [2:031:02] but Gomi cracked him. Gomi cracked him and hurt him at one point in time. And he got like a big cut over one of his cheeks. Everybody's so tired fighting these days. Well, this is just, this is how Nick would do people. He would just put it on them. Now you gotta go a little bit back up, so you see what happened. Cause yeah, but this is it, just go right here. So what happened was Nick was puttin' it on him and Gomi tried to take him down and Nick put him in a Gogoplata. So they not show it? Oh here it is. Oh they're gonna show it here. So here Nick is beating him up and then Gomi goes to try to take him down and Nick gets him in a wild maneuver. Look at that. He's got his shin across the dude's neck. It's a Gogoplata. I mean, it's like a crazy move to pull off an MMA. Almost never happens. And for Nick to pull it off, on go me, high as a kite. It's amazing. Wait, this is the fight he lost because he was a... Yes! He's a nice factor. Because this fight, this was pride. Pride had one event that was in Las Vegas. [2:032:01] 90% sure of that. Check on that. I think that, I believe that fight was in Vegas, which was the problem. We had beers? Yeah. Well, we should probably wrap this up anyway. We gotta get out of here. All right. We've been here three hours at least. Really? I think. Yeah, right? Give me a take. Give me a take. Yeah, two 30 on my clock. Second we get to Diaz Highlights in O'Kaley. Yeah, we reach. That's what we do at the pinnacle. We're at the Pinnacle. We're at the Pinnacle. We gotta show him a little bit. Let's go have fun. All right, I love you. You're awesome. You're the man. It's shit rules. All your shit, Gilling Keyes available, and it was on Patreon, it's on YouTube. It's on everywhere. You find it. Some of the best sketches of those sketches are fucking amazing. They really are. You go for it. It's real. You're fucking full. Dad with the only face. Ha ha ha ha. It's amazing.