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Bari Weiss is an American opinion writer and editor. In 2017, Weiss joined The New York Times as a staff editor in the opinion section. Her new book "How to Fight Anti-Semitism" is now available. https://amzn.to/2Gh7WIL
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I I have all daughters and I have friends that are women and I have a lot of friends that are women in the world stand-up comedy and I Oftentimes see Misogynist shit online that shocks me and one of the things that shocked me was there's a guy that I follow And he was talking about how his wife it was like thread on Twitter. Well thought out very smart guys a lawyer And I was talking about how his wife's gas tank is always empty. So every time he gets in his wife's car She's always out of gas. He's like what the fuck? Why do I always have to get gas for you? And then she explained she doesn't like to get gas because she gets harassed and it creeps her out and It's like a man would never think about that. Not only men never think about that the Messages he was getting from men calling him a cock why making excuse? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah There's no that's not I I mean I I'm an idiot that I didn't think darkly enough Yes, of course it was gonna go there and of course and he told me direct messages getting direct messages people, you know Saying all kinds of crazy shit to him because they not only are they in denial that this could be a situation Where their mother was in or their wife or their daughter? Maybe they don't have a daughter Maybe they have a bad relationship with their mother. Maybe they just they've had so many bet You know if a guy's had so many bad interactions with women and he's not very smart He's just decided that women are evil and you see anything that's like saying hey guys Maybe we should look at it in terms of like how the woman looks at it. Fuck you Like that's real those guys are real and they're out there. I was at a gas station the other night at 2 o'clock in the Morning, I was coming home from the comedy store And I pulled into this gas station and there was this guy, you know They have that bulletproof thing where this thick glass guys talking it I'm using my credit card and this guy's trying to use his debit card Okay, and I pull in I get out of my car and I hear yelling and I hear him going hey, bro relax You're not a fucking bank teller. All right, he goes you're taking this job So seriously you make $10 an hour and the guy says something. There's no money on the cars like fuck you There's $800 on this card and his friend from the car saying something. He's and I am nervous Okay, I'm really yes. It's 2 o'clock in the morning. I'm nervous And I'm like fuck and I'm like what if this guy turns any of this aggression on me? What if he decide I mean he's a fucking asshole and he's probably drunk or high or something and it's 2 o'clock in the Morning and it's him and there's another guy in the car and I'm so nervous like humiliating the guy who works Yes, yes, and I'm so nervous that I'm thinking of cutting my pump short I'm thinking I just don't get a full tank just get five bucks and get the fuck out of here You know don't run out of gas, but let's just get the fuck out here We get the gas tomorrow during the daylight and I'm a man and I'm looking at these two guys and I'm saying okay If some shit goes down if these guys don't have a weapon if some shit goes down I'm gonna beat the fuck out of these two guys. They look skinny. They look like they don't exercise, but they're aggressive They're angry. They're stupid my god damn it like all my spidey senses are going get out of here go get out of here And like an asshole I decide to stay and pump my gas But when the these guys are yelling each other I literally went around the front of the car instead of the this the back way because it was a shorter path for me being Exposed to their view so I'm hiding behind my truck while I'm filling my tank And I'm a man who could kill these two guys right I honestly thought where this story was gonna Go is that you were gonna go over and tell them to show I was thinking going over there But I didn't want to get shot and I'm thinking what if this sell people die. I know now I'm saying Sure, but also But isn't that insane thing that you have to worry that you're gonna get shot at a gas station it is it is But it's not just shot. It's just violence in general and I'm and I'm a martial arts expert So I'm less worried than most men and certainly Way less worried than a woman if I was a woman and I pulled up and I heard that guy going fuck you make $10 an hour Bro, fucking relax. I'd be like oh get the me the fuck out here I was on fumes though has raising two daughters made you so much more aware of this stuff 100% Yeah, and also just raising babies even if there were boys I realized that people are babies now I used to think of people as being in a static state if I how old are you? 34 I meet you I go Oh 34 year old person. This is a 34 year old person. I didn't meet you and think In the past I would have met you and only thought of you as a 34 year old person now I look at everyone by default as a baby That's how I process things and it made me way more compassionate way more understanding and way more patient with people Because I now I say okay when I meet this asshole at the gas station 2 o'clock in the morning. That's berating that guy Well, why is he well because probably his dad's a fucking piece of shit his life probably sucks. He's probably dumb He's probably been on drugs since he was young. He doesn't have any smart friends They don't have any money to get gas. It's 2 o'clock in the morning. They're making poor life choices. There's a lot wrong here He doesn't have any discipline in his life He's never gone through any sort of trials and tribulations that taught him about things He doesn't didn't didn't receive life lessons probably didn't get a good education Here we are and I might have to kick this guy's ass cuz it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I'm he's threatening He's loud and he's probably gonna be loud to other people look at him the wrong way. He's just fucking toxically stupid But it was a baby he was a baby at one point in time, so I don't want to go over there I don't want to I don't want to create violence I'm thinking he's just gonna drive away and eventually he did And that poor guy who probably is probably making just a little bit more than ten dollars an hour is stuck in this fucking cubicle This little glass box with this asshole berating him at 2 o'clock in the morning But that's a baby that guy was a baby