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Tony Hinchcliffe is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor. He's also the co-host, along with Brian Redban, of the podcast and live YouTube show "Kill Tony." https://tonyhinchcliffe.com/
36 appearances
Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comic, podcaster, and actor. He's the host of "The Bertcast" podcast and YouTube cooking program "Something's Burning." He's also the co-host of the "2 Bears, 1 Cave" podcast with fellow comedian Tom Segura. Watch his latest special, "Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle," on Netflix. www.bertbertbert.com
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It's crazy. Have you seen that new movie? Everything everywhere all at once? No, but I keep hearing amazing things about it. Yeah, we just saw it this past weekend. Did you go to the movie theater? Look at you, like a regular person. Yeah, I like it. How was it? Tell me what... It's a multiverse kind of movie, right? Yeah, it's like that. She ends up figuring out how to switch into her different lives and like take different times, different lives that she's lived throughout all of time. Wait, what the fuck? And fast forward and rewind and use these things to her advantage and try to accomplish things. It's crazy. Oh, I love time travel. Yeah, it's wild. Everything everywhere all at once. You know, that was the theory that Terrence McKenna had to the thing that's going to change the universe is that one day someone's going to invent a time machine and that when they invent a time machine, all time ceases to become linear. So you think if you have a time machine, well, oh, I'll just go back to the time where they were making the pyramids and I watch them do it. That's not what it works like. When he was saying, you can't travel where there are no roads. So once a road gets built, then you can travel. So once a time machine gets invented, then anyone from the invention of the time machine forward to forever can come back to that moment and can go to any point in time from that moment to the end of time. So all time ceases to be linear. So there's no like tomorrow will be Wednesday and the next day will be Thursday. No, no, no, it's everything happens everywhere all at once. So people can travel back and forth through time. You can never own anything because someone could just travel through time and take it away from you when you weren't looking like like as time travel gets more and more sophisticated. You can go back and forth in time while you're talking to people. You know, if you don't like what you said, you could rewind and start all over again. If you're in an argument with your wife, you can go to the library and get information and come back and go actually, you know, Herodotus once said and then bam, your wife thinks you're the smartest guy in the world like this, but it would it would would there would be no normal life anymore. It would like the world itself would be completely unrecognizable because time would mean nothing. You'd be able to travel back and forth through time. All right. So then so then where would you go right now? Just if I do we can time travel right now. Go back in the past in the past. Well, what's one thing you'd like to see again? See, that would be a different kind of time travel. That's an unrealistic theatrical version of time travel because like you said, once time is invented, once time travel is invented, that's the time you can start traveling. So you can't go before that. Right. So so like here we are. It's May of 2022. If time travel is invented in June, we're not going back to April. You can't go back to April. Okay, you can go to from June to a million years in the future and see what people look like. You'll be able to do that, but they'll be able to come back to and everything's going to be happening everywhere all at once. There's not going to be any sort of structure to life. There's not going to be anything in terms of money, possessions. As long as you could freely time travel, there will be no time. Everything's going to be moving around and also instantaneously you'll become immortal because whatever we have right now in terms of technology, what we're going to have in a million years is going to be godlike. You're going to be able to travel to that if in fact that actually does even take place because the question becomes like what is the future if time travel does exist. So if time travel exists in June of 2022, is there even a future? Like does it even take place because how can anybody invent things when they can just travel to a point where someone invented it already? But how are they going to invent it already if you can just travel to the future and do they invent things still or do people if they do invent things, how does what's to stop people from going back before them and taking the idea and introducing it before that. Thus there'll be no intellectual property because there'll be no way to say you came up with it first. It won't exist. Carlos Menzio will be the greatest comedian in the world. Just smashing. Wow. Think about that. Is there someone working on time machines right now? There's got to be right. Well, there's a guy named Ronald Millett. I think he's out of the University of Connecticut. If you Google this and he's got the craziest Spider-Man character origin story. His father died and he became obsessed with time travel because he wanted to go back in time and save his father. So he became a professor studying time travel and he came up with a workable model of a time machine, but it requires immense, immense power. That's him. Ron Millett built a device that illustrates the principles he believes could be used to build a time machine. He was one of the people that came up with the first one of the first people to come up with the realization or the revelation that once that time machine was invented. I was dead dying of Vietnam. Yeah. But it is really like a comic book superhero sort of origin story. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a great origin story. So this guy has become obsessed and has been working on it for decades and they think they have a working model of, you know, at least a theoretical model of a time machine, but it just requires like the power of the sun. It requires immense power. I think there's a guy from I think the early 19th century, Kurt Godel. He wasn't from the early 19th century, early 20th century. And he had a working model of a time machine, too, but it involved something as large as like the solar system. Like you needed a machine the size of a solar system or something, something crazy. Yeah. Kurt Godel, 1949, found a solution to the field equations of general relativity, which described a space time with some unusual properties. This Godel universe permitted closed timelike curves, hence the kind of time travel and it did not admit decomposition into the successive moments of time. Yeah. So he had I didn't understand any of that sentence. I mean, I'm so I'm like so stupid that if I think if I start to realize what that means, it gives me a panic attack. As you talk about, there's no anything ever anywhere. Or when you just mentioned the universe and I realize there is there is there is something really up there. Like, yeah, it's not just up there. It's out there. Yeah, it's all around you. That I don't like infinity. I'm that I fucking gives me a panic attack immediately. Yeah, it'll give you a panic attack if you if you really do stop and give it time and think about it's an amazing thing. Do you think that they'll be able to take like I don't know if we have to go to computer modeling, but take the data of like this video, for instance, where these kids are in 1901. Yeah, but that is like virtual reality where you could then insert yourself. Yeah, to be in there. You can't affect anything, but you could at least experience and hear what it's like. Yeah, but you probably get an interpretation of it. Like, say if they wanted to do that today and they had this unbelievable ability to create people and images and places and they decided to show you the construction. The pyramids, they'll just be guessing.