Robert Downey Jr. on The Importance of Getting Out of Your Own Way

This concept of things just sort of falling into place. I'm a big believer in that too. What is that though? Is that you getting out of your own way? Like what is that? Isn't that 70% of it? Yeah. Yeah. I'd say it's 70% maintenance of what can I do to do my part to stay out of the way. And then the other part, I always think of it as like this little super thin invisible thread but you can feel the tug and you just kind of, you have to be really gentle when you have to pause when agitated and you have to go for it when you're going to like, there's four walls in here which one has the map behind it. It's that one. And you knock down the wall and it's there. Yeah. What is that though? That's a... Synchronicity? Yeah. Intuition? And labeling it is very dangerous because it's so filled with woo. So it's, there's so many people that are hucksters that have like made a career out of sort of like labeling it and defining it or teaching you how to get to it. It's great because it's the commodity that you can't capitalize on and yet if you don't show proof of its existence, you shouldn't even be qualified to speak on it. I don't know. It's the big, I don't know. But when it happens, whether it happens with love or with friendship or with a career or with a path you're taking, you just know while you, there's a smile, there's an inner smile like, yeah, this is it. Well put. I found it. This is it. I'm supposed to be doing this. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah. And I really feel it's so funny at this point in my life and being kind of middle-aged and all that. Well, I know I'm going to fly around the world and I'm going to sell some soap and I know I have a new project and I know I've just retired my jersey on this 12-year journey I've been on. And how do I want to start? And it came up, how would you like it? I go, yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to go have the Joe Rogan experience and kick off this year and this season and this new chapter by doing what I love, which is an interview is we're looking at each other and there's a give and take. But to answer the question, it can be anticlimactic like anything. I mean, this is surreal. I've never maybe seen you around a little bit, but I feel like I know you because I see you all the time and I listen to you and I'm a martial arts nut. And yeah, isn't it? Sometimes when you get outside of the fortunate, interesting, creative experience you're having, you kind of go like, it's very dreamlike. Yeah. Yeah. My whole life's a dream. Yeah. Except for the ramifications. The ramifications. Those come back a bite in the ass. You're like, yikes. This isn't a fucking dream at all. This is dangerous. Yeah. I used to, I remember the first time I met Phil Hartman, I was stunned that I was actually like sitting at, we were at a stable read sitting across from him and I'm like, how the fuck you're a famous guy. Like you're a really famous guy. Like I've seen you in movies, man. Yeah. You've seen you on television. Yeah. Right there. Right there. How weird. And it seems, it's very hard to be normal. And then after a while that becomes normal. And then the fact that it becomes normal becomes surreal. And then it really feels like a dream. When I meet people like you, we've just met an hour or so ago, yet instantly I feel like I know you. Yeah. Yeah. It's very strange. But also you're not full of shit. Everyone's not full of shit. It's pretty easy to get to know them. You say something, I say something back, I know how he works. I see what's going on in there. This is an actual human. Here we go. We're talking. There's a good litmus too because you watch your show pretty quick. And I just love it too because in your show, you literally, you just, you start, it's a rolling start with you every time. You come into the show and you're already kind of thinking about stuff. So it's, it feels very organic. And part of me even this morning was like, I hope he looks into my eyes and doesn't see a complete and utter foolish fraud because I would probably believe him if he mirrored that back to me. Oh no, that's a danger, right? Yeah. If someone, if you respect someone and they think you're a fucking idiot, you're like, oh no, I might really be a fucking idiot. But there's been times when in just being myself, someone who I respect has looked at me and said, what are we talking about? Yeah. What are you even saying? For sure. It kind of, it stiff arms you. But part of those are good because it realized, well, you were probably off on a fucking stupid tangent and that's part of being a person. You know, part of being a person is like, I don't know what the next word out of my mouth is going to be right now. No one ever does unless you do. And if you do, it's kind of weird. Some people are poker players. I respect some people that are that because there's an ability to, maybe it's better than maybe it's fear based, but I always appreciate people who, you know, those people like their icons or big shots or that they hold a certain esteem and all of their texts are very simple. It's like, yes, yes, we should fix that. Sure. Yeah. Sure is my favorite. Sure. Okay. On it. Yeah. Yeah. No periods either. Like, you don't have time to make a period. Beats the all caps text. Oh, I don't like those at all. Those people are weird. Fletcher, he sends me all tasks. I love him, but he's shouting at everything. Everything is a shout. Yeah. But yeah, the surreal part is, I think part of the reason I'm still so interested, not just in life, but also, you know, getting to do what I do is I'm a fan. I love movies. I love creativity. I love music. I love, I love culture. And the fact that I actually have a place in it while I'm observing it and digging it is like, it's, it's, it's an honor. Well that's a beautiful perspective and that shows in how you, how you carry yourself and it shows in the work that you do, that you do appreciate it. You know, one of the saddest things is someone who's in an amazing position who doesn't appreciate it. And, and that, that drives other people crazy too. Like prima donnas drive people crazy for a variety of reasons. But one of the big ones is you don't appreciate how fortunate you are. Like and people love when people appreciate good fortune and appreciate a well-earned position and are, you know, engrossed in a beautiful life of something that they really enjoy and something that really inspires them. Well I need to, I need to be kept right-sized because I can easily fall into self-seeking and depression and self-pity and judgment and all that stuff. It's kind of a, it's a bit of a default, but I spend enough energy and I've had enough help over enough years to actually just say, oh that's, that's just awful destructive behavior. You're entertaining in your head, you know? Bad patterns, just bad thought patterns. Yeah. Yeah. I think we could all fall into those. I'm ruthlessly self-critical. For me sometimes it's very hard to step outside and just take a pause and recognize that not everything's going to be right the first time you try it. I think that a lot of people that are really great at things, it's one of the things about them is that they're not very satisfied with their work. Like they're always looking to improve it. They're always looking for it to be better and then that can start that cycle in their head of self-loathing and anxiety and anger at their performance or their work or whatever it is. Yeah. And then that can lead to depression and that can lead to just self-hate. Yeah. And what are your tolerances? Like, I'll be the first to tell you, like, you know, do certain movies or a movie doing Tropic Thunder or one of the first, you know, Iron Man movies. I was like, I'd go over to the monitor and I'd be like, play that back again. That was so good. Dude, let me see that again. I need confirmation because it's always a miracle. You stayed in frame. You got the line right. Your eye line was right. The lighting was right. The sensibility was right. And you just look at it and you go, oh, you know, it's like, I don't know. For me, it's like the playback of the perfect Superman punch KO and just go, show me that again. Yeah. Or when we were shooting Tropic Thunder, I had a little teaser clip for Iron Man, but it wasn't coming out until the next year and we were going to go to Comic Con. So I got to see it and show it to people and they're like, oh, I think that movie's going to do pretty good. And then when we went to Comic Con, we saw it. But it used to be like that with music, too. Like I write music. I haven't for some time, but you would write something and then you just listen to it on the loop because you go, wow. It's not, I know that I was here and I did that, but it feels kind of inspired and you want to get all that stuff. But yeah, self-critical is important as long as it doesn't bleed out into and over the edges and just make everyone measurable. Right. Again, get out of your own way. Yeah. Again, I mean, that's one of the many tenets of life. Learn how to get out of your own way with everything, including with creative endeavors. It seems like that thing that you said about music, most people who write things or create things say that, that they know they're doing it. Like if you make a great sculpture, you know you're doing it. But where is it coming from? Like what is the idea that manifests itself into this perfect thing that you could step back and look at? And it seems surreal. How did I create that? Did I? I don't know if I did. I mean, I definitely made my fingers move, but I don't know if that's me. Who wrote that music? Who performed it? I know you did, but there's a thing inside you that sort of like tunes in to this energy of ideas. And then it comes through you. And again, you kind of have to get out of your own way while you're writing something. And then when it comes out, it's a weird feeling. It's not like, like if you hammer a nail into a board, you fucking are very aware you did that. You're very aware. Something about the creative process that's not, you're not totally there. It's weird. Yeah. Because it is you and it isn't you. Right. What does you even mean? I love it. You always hear it too in sports. It's like, you know, oh, you know, you know, how to go today, Federer. Oh, I was out of my mind. I was not in my mind. It was a beautiful day. And I think you saw the results. Yeah. Sure. It's an effortless poetic. Well, fighters talk about that all the time that like, especially a counter shot, like they land something and they don't even have any idea they're going to do it. And they did it. And then it caused the knockout. It's their training manifest itself in this one special, beautiful moment where bang, this thing happens. And then they see the guy drop and like, holy shit. Oh, yeah. And then they walk away and it's the work. It's it's there's so many things involved, right? There's so many moving pieces. You have to be working on your own mind to learn how to get out of your own way. You also have to be like really engrossed in whatever the activity is that you're doing, like obsessed in love with it, passionate about it. And then you have to have the discipline to show up and actually do the work. There's so many different moving piece and it all has to be managed. And it's not solid. It's like, it's like a fucking raft on the ocean. It's moving around. You're always trying to like figure out how to keep it, keep it moving and functional. And it always seems unmanageable. After it's over, I was like, oh, fuck, does that even work? Yeah, we call it the fader board. Yeah, right. You know, how do you get it all?